What is Mindful Masturbation and How Can It Benefit Your Sex Life?

It’s no secret that I am a big fan of masturbation in all its forms. I believe it should be promoted, celebrated, taught as part of sex education, and totally destigmatised. There are countless ways to wank, and none of them are better or worse than any others. Are you having fun without harming yourself or anyone else? Congratulations, you’re doing it right.

Today I wanted to introduce you to one possible self-pleasure tool you may not be aware of. Let’s talk mindful masturbation.

What is Mindfulness?

To understand mindful masturbation, we first have to understand mindfulness. In short, mindfulness is all about being present and in the moment.

Many people practice mindfulness meditations, but these don’t work for everyone (they don’t work for me at all, which I think is because I have ADHD.) You can also incorporate it into your day to day life. One of my favourite forms of “meditation” is actually doing something with my hands, such as knitting, colouring, or putting something together and paying attention to how it feels. Simply taking a moment to notice your body, its sensations, your surroundings, and your reaction to those surroundings is a mindfulness practice.

The potential benefits of mindfulness can include stress reduction, improved focus, enhanced self-awareness, and better emotional regulation. It’s not the magic pill some have made it out to be, of course, but it’s a great addition to your mental health and self-care toolbox.

What is Mindful Masturbation and How Do You Do It?

Mindful masturbation, then, is all about being present in your body while you touch yourself. Stay curious and exploratory – it can help to imagine that you’re touching yourself as you’d touch a new lover when you don’t know their body super well yet. You’d experiment, try things out, and stay open to feedback. Do the same thing for yourself and let yourself be surprised.

Mindfulness is also about encouraging your thoughts to stay in the moment. Each time you find your mind wandering, kindly but firmly guide it back. Breathe deeply, ask yourself how you feel, and observe your body and mind’s responses without judgement.

Finally, try to take the focus away from orgasm. If you cum during your session, great! If you don’t, that’s fine, too! The point is to move away from goal-centered masturbation into a more exploratory and pleasure-centric frame of mind.

Whether you choose to use your hands, sex toys, or a mixture of the two is completely your choice. I’m personally an advocate for using both as they can allow you to experience a wide array of different sensations. Why not pick up a new sex toy? For long, slow, luxurious masturbation sessions, I love clit suction toys such as the Flowliper, a new and beginner-friendly clitoral toy with a unique “dynamic pulse” function from Tracy’s Dog.

How Can Mindful Masturbation Benefit Your Sex Life?

No matter your gender, orientation, or relationship status, touching yourself mindfully can help you to tune into your body, get to know your desires, and improve your sex life. Here are just a few of the ways it can benefit you.

Learn More About How You Experience Pleasure

Mindful masturbation isn’t about getting off and getting on with your day as quickly as possible. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that type of masturbation! I’m a big fan, in fact, at times. But that’s not what we’re doing here.) Since you’re chasing pleasure without necessarily having the explicit goal of orgasm in mind, you can take your time to try things out and touch your body in different ways. You might be surprised what you learn!

Stress Reduction

Mindfulness has been shown to reduce stress for many people. Guess what? So has masturbation! So combining the two has the potential to give you a powerful stress-buster. Take the time to touch yourself mindfully even just a few times a week, and you might start feeling calmer and more centered throughout the day.

Better and More Frequent Orgasms

I know I just said that orgasm wasn’t the goal here – and it doesn’t have to be. But if you do want to get off, practicing mindful masturbation can help you to have more frequent, stronger, and easier to reach orgasms. This is because you’re more present in your pleasure and turning away from distractions, and because you’re likely learning new ways to enjoy your body.

Paradoxically, taking the focus off orgasm – particularly if you ever struggle to cum – can be one of the best ways to help you get there.

New Skills to Bring Back to Partnered Sex

Masturbation is wonderful regardless of whether you’re in a relationship. And, of course, not everyone who masturbates has (or wants to have) partnered sex. But if partnered sex is a part of your life, mindful self-pleasure can teach you all kinds of new skills and tricks to bring back to your partner(s.) This can include new ways you like to be touched, but also skills such as staying present in the moment and waving away distracting thoughts that get in the way of your pleasure.

Self-Pleasure as Self-Care

Unfortunately and despite the fact that almost everyone does it at least occasionally, masturbation is still heavily stigmatised, especially for women. However, I firmly believe that masturbation is a form of self-care. It feels great, has no negative repercussions, and doesn’t require much beyond a little time and privacy to explore. If you ever struggle with shame around masturbation – or even if you don’t but have treated it in a perfunctory way until now – then mindfully masturbating can be a great way to shift it towards more of a holistic self-love and self-care practice.

Have you tried mindful masturbation? Will you be giving it a go?

Thanks to Tracy’s Dog for sponsoring this post! All views, as always, are mine.

[Kink Product Review] Roomfun Silicone Bondage Restraints Set

[Update 31/10/23: this product has been discontinued. I have removed dead links accordingly.]

When you think of BDSM restraints, what material do you think of? Probably rope, leather, or possibly faux leathers, right? Though I’ve used countless silicone sex toys and even a (very ouchy) silicone paddle, I’d never really considered silicone as a material for restraints before. But why not? It’s a strong, versatile, and body-friendly material – in other words, many of the properties that are ideal for kink gear.

The good folks at Tracy’s Dog (remember their OG Pro2 I reviewed last year?) just sent me this Roomfun Silicone Bondage Restraints set to try out.

Roomfun Silicone Bondage Restraints

The Roomfun Silicone Bondage Restraints set arrived packaged in a simple cardboard box with the company name and logo on it, and with a decorative outer cardboard sleeve with information about the product.

Tracy's Dog silicone bondage restraints set

This is admittedly a bit nitpicky, but the copy on the box desperately needed proofreading. There are three glaring typos and the overall syntax is really off – it looks like someone ran it through Google Translate and then didn’t bother to get it checked. While this doesn’t impact the actual quality, for a product that costs $129.99 I don’t think “readable product copy” is too much to ask.

Roomfun silicone bondage restraints set

Inside the box, a plastic divider tray holds the items. The set consists of:

  • Collar
  • 2 x wrist cuffs
  • 2 x ankle cuffs
  • Leash
  • O-ring
  • 4 double-ended connector clips

All the pieces are made of black silicone with gold-coloured metal accents. It’s unclear what the metal is but I’d be willing to bet it contains nickel, so be very cautious if you have an allergy.

I immediately thought this set was really pretty. The gold-on-black is striking, but understated enough to go with almost any outfit. Aesthetically, it doesn’t really lean strongly towards either a masculine or femme look.

Fit and Comfort

I wasn’t at all sure how I’d find silicone restraints, comfort-wise. As someone who has a few sensory struggles, comfort is a very high priority for me when it comes to anything that’s going to go on my body. Silicone varies wildly in terms of how soft it is as well as how “grabby” it is against skin.

The Roomfun Silicone Bondage Restraints set, fortunately, is made of lovely soft matte silicone. It’s smooth enough to glide along my skin without any uncomfortable grab, and it feels beautifully smooth to the touch. Mr CK did note that the silicone can be a bit grabby if you use it on areas with a lot of body hair.

The only real downside I noticed was that when I wear the collar for a lengthy period of time, my neck underneath it gets really hot and sweaty. This is because silicone really isn’t breathable at all. If you’re wearing it for long periods, consider taking it off occasionally to let your skin breathe. This means that I wouldn’t recommend this set if you’re looking for a “wear 24/7” type collar.

Silicone collar and leash for BDSM for Tracy's Dog review

In terms of sizing, this set is highly adjustable. With 7 holes on each wrist cuff, 5 on each ankle cuff, and 8 on the collar, it’s likely to fit the vast majority of wearers comfortably.

Construction and Useability

The pieces feel well-built and sturdy. Wearing and using them, I feel confident that I can pull and struggle if I want to (because that can be hot!) and they won’t break. The metal pieces are also sturdy. I’ve tried some restraint sets where I feel like they’d fall apart with one good tug. That’s not the case here.

Interestingly, the clip on the leash is smaller than the other clips, leading me to believe it might be less strong. Obviously you shouldn’t be tugging hard on something around someone’s neck, so it’s probably not a big deal with regards to functionality, but it’s something to be aware of.

You can use the different pieces in a variety of ways thanks to the clips. Attach your partner’s hands behind their back, clip them to restraints attached to your bed or a St Andrew’s Cross, or use the clips and ring to form a hogtie shape. Mix and match, try things out, and see what’s the most fun for you and your partner(s).

Silicone BDSM hogtie

Since silicone is non-porous and easy to clean, this set is also ideal if you like to get messy during play… or if you have multiple partners and want to use the same restraints with different people safely. I wouldn’t get it soaking wet as the metal might tarnish, but you can wipe it down with a warm damp cloth and some gentle soap or use antibacterial wipes to keep the silicone clean.

Since this set consists of quite a few separate pieces, I recommend keeping the box and divider and using them to store it all between play sessions. There’s nothing more annoying when you’re trying to set up a scene than having to rummage through your kit bag for that one cuff you can’t find!

Verdict

This set is genuinely high quality and well-made! I’m really impressed with its look, feel, comfort, and useability, and I feel confident that it’ll get plenty of use. A really solid buy if you’re new to restraints and looking for a safe, effective set, or if you’re an experienced player and looking for a change from rope or leather.

The Roomfun Silicone Bondage Restraints kit retails for $129.99 from Tracy’s Dog.

Thank you to Tracy’s Dog for sponsoring this post, which means they paid me to write an honest and unbiased review. All opinions and experiences are my own.

[Toy Review] Tracy’s Dog OG Pro2

Tracy’s Dog’s[1] original clitoral stimulator went viral a couple of years back due to a hilariously lengthy and detailed Amazon review. I did not try that toy, so I cannot speak to its quality. However, I was pleased when Tracy’s Dog reached out to me to review their newest product, the OG Pro2, which just launched.

It looks like this:

Tracys Dog OG Pro2 dual stimulation sex toy

Let’s dive in and find out what I thought, shall we?

Tracy’s Dog OG Pro2

The OG Pro2 by Tracy’s Dog is a remote controlled, dual stimulation sex toy for people with vulvas, designed to target the clit and the G-spot at the same time.

The interior arm is a classic G-spot vibrator, while the external arm provides clitoral stimulation via suction technology. Its shape reminds me of wearable toys like the We-Vibe Chorus, only with a much larger internal shaft.

Dual stimulation vibrator from Tracys Dog

The OG Pro2 is made of soft and body-safe silicone. The company refers to the colour as “Tiffany blue” but it’s really more of a minty turquoise green. It arrived in discreet packaging as promised. Inside, the toy was attractively packaged in a black branded box. In the box you’ll also find a charging cable, instruction leaflet, warranty card, some fun stickers, and a purple satiny storage bag.

OG Pro2 clitoral vibrator G-spot vibrator suction toy

The toy itself is rechargeable via the included USB cable, but the remote control requires a CR2032 battery (included.) The OG Pro2 is fully waterproof, which makes it easy to clean as well as bath/shower friendly. I recently tried a clitoral suction toy in the bath for the first time, and the experience was quite different to anything I’ve felt before – worth a try if you’re curious.

Controls and Interface

The OG Pro2 features a two-button interface on the toy and also comes with a two-button remote control. They work in broadly the same way: one button controls the internal vibrations, the other controls the clitoral sucker.

Clitoral suction toy from OG Pro2

As I often say, I would have liked two-way controls. It’s frustrating having to scroll through all the settings to get back to the one you like. The buttons are responsive, easy to press, and intuitively located on the back of the external arm of the toy.

Once I’d inserted the OG Pro2, I found it much easier to use the remote control rather than the buttons on the toy itself. The remote control is small and super light.

In Use

I’ll admit that I was a little skeptical about this toy. Dual stimulation toys are very hit and miss for me generally. So how did the Tracy’s Dog OG Pro2 fare in use?

Tracys Dog OG Pro2 dual sex toy

Full disclosure: I don’t like internal vibrations. So while the internal arm’s motor was impressively powerful (if a little buzzier than I prefer,) I kept it switched off. The vibrating arm has 3 constant speeds and 7 vibrating patterns.

Though internal vibrations are not really for me, I still got a lot of pleasure out of the OG Pro2’s internal arm. The gently curved shape is excellent, and the ridged underside feels amazing pressed against my G-spot.

Pro tip: if you’ve used this sort of insertable dual stim toy before, you might find that this one’s insertable section is larger than you’re used to. Take it slowly and use plenty of water-based, body-safe lube.

The clitoral suction stimulator offers an impressive 10 different escalating speeds. Personally, the lower 5 speeds are too gentle to do much for me. But if you prefer gentler stimulation or are looking for a warm-up toy, they might suit you just fine. I like to start with speed 6 or 7, and then slowly ramp up and finish at 9 or 10 when I’m ready to orgasm.

For me, this toy has one major thing to recommend it: I can actually use it hands-free! I find clitoral suction stimulators more pleasurable when I keep my legs close together, and that position coupled with the shape of the OG Pro2’s internal arm means I can use the toy without having to hold it in place. Awesome! This is particularly welcome when coupled with the remote control.

Something to be aware of: the clitoral stimulator nozzle is pretty small. This wasn’t a problem for me, because my clit is on the smaller size. But if you have a larger clit this is something you’ll want to be aware of.

The Verdict

This toy was a really pleasant surprise! When I opened it up, I wasn’t sure what to expect because my body is pretty picky about dual stimulation toys. But the good shape, flexible design, and quality clitoral stimulator make it a worthy addition to my toy collection.

The Tracy’s Dog OG Pro2 retails for $59.99 but at the time of writing is on sale at $50.99.

[1] Yeah I’m baffled by this company name, too. Check out their Youtube channel. It is delightfully bizarre.

Thanks to Tracy’s Dog for sending me this product. This review was sponsored, but all views are my own.