[Better Sex Products Review] Bloomi Massage Oil & Water-Based Lubricant

I’ve decided to couple these two mini-reviews into one post since they’re both from the same company and same range. Bloomi is a lovely US company I’ve recently started working with. Sexologist-led, their products all meet something called the Clean Standard:

Based on academic research and input from top sexual wellness experts, we created the only industry standard to ensure toxic ingredients don’t touch your intimate areas.

– Bloomi Clean Standard

This means that you can feel assured that Bloomi’s products do not contain any of the nasty ingredients that are far too common in sexual wellness products: glycerin, parabens, artificial fragrances, phthalates, sulfates, and so on. And, since everything is plant-based, they’re also vegan and cruelty-free! Even the packaging is made from recycled, recyclable, and sustainable materials.

I received the Relax Body & Massage Oil and the Smooth Water-Based Lubricant to try out.

Relax Body & Massage Oil

Bloomi massage oil

I’ve recently rediscovered the joy of giving (and receiving) massages. Massage is such a wonderful, intimate way to touch a partner and you can use it in so many different ways. It can sooth a headache or a bad back, act as a kind of foreplay or precursor to sex, serve as aftercare, be an act of service from a submissive to a Dominant, or just be a way to connect physically without necessarily getting your genitals involved. And that’s just for starters. Like any kind of touch and intimacy, massage is what you make of it.

Both my girlfriend and I loved the gorgeous lavendar scent of Bloomi Relax Body & Massage Oil. It’s distinctive without being overpowering and lavendar can invoke feelings of calm, relaxation, and overall wellbeing.

The Relax Body & Massage Oil blends smoothly into the skin and does not leave any unpleasant residue. It leaves the skin feeling soft, moisturised, and healthy. So much so that you can use it as an everyday body oil/skin moisturiser as well as a massage oil, if you like.

Bloomi’s Relax Body & Massage Oil retails for $20 for a 3oz/90ml bottle. And since a little goes a long way (you only need a few pumps to get really good coverage), it should last you a while.

Please be aware that, like most oils, this product is not compatible with latex. Don’t use it (or be sure to wash it off first) if you are planning to use latex safer sex barriers such as condoms and dams, as it can degrade them and make them more prone to breakage.

Smooth Water-Based Lubricant

Bloomi water-based lube

Those of you who have been reading my work for a while will know that I am extremely choosy about the lubricants that I will use and recommend. Too many lubes are filled with ingredients such as parabens (which have been shown to be endocrine disrupters) and glycerin (a type of sugar which can cause issues such as yeast infections and Bacterial Vaginosis.) And don’t even get me started on the nasty shit you’ll find in “warming”, “tingling”, or “numbing” lubes!

That’s why I am always seeking lube options that are gentle, body-friendly, and planet-friendly. Smooth by Bloomi contains only gentle plant ingredients, including hydrating green tea extract and Sodium Hyaluronate (hyaluronic acid), which may help to relieve vaginal dryness.

Bloomi’s Smooth Water-Based Lubricant is well named. It has quite a thin consistency compared to some of the more gel-like lubes I’ve tried, and is satisfyingly smooth and slippery. I find it lasts quite well, so you don’t have to reapply it as often as with some water-based products. I particularly like it for high-friction activities such as using my Godemiche Grind Rings or silicone dildos with more “grabby” textures.

Smooth Water-Based Lubricant’s formulation has a pH of 4.0-4.5. The normal pH of the vagina can range from 3.8-5.0, so this lube shouldn’t cause any issues there. It isn’t sticky, and doesn’t leave any residue behind on either my skin or my sheets. It also has only the mildest scent and virtually no discernible taste.

Apparently Smooth isn’t suitable for use with polyurethane condoms, so bear that in mind if you’re using non-latex barriers. It’s fine for use with latex or polyisoprene barriers, though.

Smooth Water-Based Lubricant retails for $12 for 3oz/88ml. Again, a little goes a long way here.

Thank you to Bloomi for sending me these products to review. All views are, as always, my own. This post contains affiliate links and purchasing through them sends me a small commission at no extra cost to you! Check out Bloomi’s full range here.

[Mini Review] Lovehoney Apothecary “Seduce” Bubble Bath

In sex blogger land (and, presumably, any blogging niche that involves talking about products), it always seems as though Christmas is barely over and it’s almost time for Valentine’s Day. I just received my shipment of Lovehoney Valentine’s Day products this week, so I’m going to be reviewing them between now and early February to help y’all out with your V-day shopping.

Among this batch of fun things was a bottle of the Apothecary Bubble Bath in “Seduce” (there’s also one called Arouse, which I reviewed back in December).

Lovehoney Seduce Bubble Bath and Arouse Bubble Bath

Seduce Bubble Bath by Lovehoney

Seduce Bubble Bath contains the following ingredients: Aqua (Water), Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Sodium Chloride, Parfum (Fragrance), Cocamide DEA, Glycerin, Benzyl Alcohol, Methylchloroisothiazolinone, Methylisothiazolinone, Benzyl Benzoate, Coumarin Limonene.

I don’t claim to be an expert on cosmetics, and certainly not on the intricacies of various cosmetic ingredients. Some cursory Googling suggests that these are all fairly standard ingredients, found in many common household products including bath and shower products. Some of the ingredients have been the subject of safety concerns (such as Methylchloroisothiazolinone and Methylisothiazolinone, which one study seems to indicate are safe in “wash off” products in small quantities). Naturally, you should always read the label and avoid this product if you are allergic or sensitive to any of the ingredients.

Lovehoney Seduce Bubble Bath

One note of warning: as this product contains glycerin, I don’t recommend using it if you have a vagina and you’re planning to have sex or masturbate during your bath. This is because glycerin is a type of sugar, which can disrupt your body’s pH and cause yeast infections.

Lovehoney’s bubble baths contain no animal products and are therefore suitable for vegetarians and vegans.

In Use

Though I prefer showers for hygiene, I love taking baths as a way to relax, unwind, and practice self-care. So it wasn’t exactly a chore to run a hot bath and pour in a generous slug of Seduce Bubble Bath.

Seduce Bubble Bath comes in a 250ml bottle with a pink, Lovehoney-branded label. I needed about three capfuls to get some decent bubbles. My water was still nice and bubbly after about 45 minutes in the tub, though you can always add extra if you need to.

The scent is described has having top notes of orange peel and saffron, middle notes of warm patchouli and jasmine, and base notes of amber, cedar, and vanilla. I’m no perfume connoisseur, but the patchouli and jasmine came through the most strongly for me. The overall effect is zesty and energising. “Seduce” is a good name for this one because it really does smell, well, sexy. It’s the kind of stuff I’d bathe in while getting ready for a hot date or a night out at a club… or pour into a bath to share with a lover.

Seduce Bubble Bath left my skin feeling soft and moisturised. Like the Arouse Bubble Bath, though, the scent didn’t really linger much on my skin once I was out of the water.


Lovely for winding down at the end of a long day or getting in the mood for a hot night.

While I don’t think I’d go out of my way to order this on its own, it’s a fun add-on to your Lovehoney order (or a great way to push your basket over the £40 free delivery threshold!) If you love the scent, there’s also a matching massage oil and massage/wax play candle. The full set could make a sweet Valentine’s Day gift for a lover who enjoys yummy scented things.

Seduce Bubble Bath retails for £9.99 ($12.99 US).

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product in exchange for an honest review. All views are, as always, mine!

[Mini Review] Lovehoney Apothecary “Arouse” Bubble Bath

I love taking baths. Though I prefer showers for the purposes of actual hygiene (especially because I have a lot of hair), I love a hot bath as a way to unwind, relax, and take a little time to myself. I also really enjoy sharing a bath with a partner, either before (or after) sex or just as a way to spend some quality, intimate time together.

In my latest batch of review goodies from Lovehoney, I found a bottle of their new Apothecary Bubble Bath in the Arouse scent (there’s also another scent known as Seduce). So of course I dutifully poured a generous splash into my next bath to see what it was like. The things I do for my readers…

Arouse Bubble Bath by Lovehoney

Lovehoney Arouse Bubble Bath, ideal stocking stuffer for women and femmes, cute gift for lover

Arouse Bubble Bath contains the following ingredients: Aqua (Water), Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Sodium Chloride, Parfum (Fragrance), Cocamide Dea, Glycerin, Benzyl Alcohol, Methylchloroisothiazolinone, Methylisothiazolinone.

I’m not a cosmetics expert by any stretch, but some Googling suggests that these are all fairly standard ingredients in many common household products including bath and shower products. There have been some safety concerns around some of these ingredients, particularly Methylchloroisothiazolinone and Methylisothiazolinone. At least one study seems to show they’re safe in “wash off” products in small quantities, though. Obviously you should avoid this product if you have any allergies or sensitivities to any of the ingredients.

Because this bubble bath contains Glycerin, I’d avoid it if you intend to have sex or masturbate in the tub. Glycerin is a sugar and can upset your body’s pH and cause yeast infections.

Since this product contains no animal products or their derivatives. it’s suitable for vegetarians and vegans.

Arouse Bubble Bath, romantic gift for lover, sexy stocking stuffer

In Use

Arouse Bubble Bath comes in a 250ml bottle with a simple purple label. I got some pretty good bubbles from two capfuls, so the full bottle should last you a while. The bubbles last well, too – my bath was still nice and bubbly after an hour of soaking.

The scent is described as “citrusy”, though I didn’t really get that. For me, the jasmine and rose scents are the ones that stand out the most. It’s a lightly sweet and feminine scent that left me feeling relaxed and rejuvenated. If you like the scent, there’s also a matching massage oil and massage/wax play candle. My skin was left feeling soft without any residual greasiness after bathing with Arouse bubble bath, though the scent did not linger long once I was out of the water.

Woman's legs in the bath

I wouldn’t necessarily go out of my way to order this on its own, but it’s a fun add-on if you’re looking for an extra little treat (or a way to push your order over the £40 free delivery threshold!) A bottle of Seduce or Arouse Bubble Bath is also a nice stocking-stuffer for your bath-loving sweetie!

Arouse Bubble Bath retails for £9.99 ($12.99 US).

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review. All images and views are mine!

[Kink Product Review] Bondage Boutique Glow-in-the-Dark Collar and Lead

This month I’ve partnered with Lovehoney to bring you a series of reviews for Sex In Full Colour in honour of Pride Month. I’ve been reviewing bright and colourful toys. Today we’ve got something a little different: a glow-in-the-dark collar and lead set from the Bondage Boutique range!

Vegan Leather Collar and Lead

Bondage Boutique is Lovehoney’s own brand line of affordable bondage and BDSM gear. While I’ve liked some pieces from the range more than others, they’re generally pretty solid quality beginner-friendly pieces. The new glow-in-the-dark range includes a blindfold, a silicone ball gag, a pair of cuffs, a flogger, a paddle, and this collar and lead set.

The Bondage Boutique Glow-in-the-Dark Collar and Lead set is made of vegan-friendly faux leather. As you might be aware, I have mixed feelings regarding real leather so it’s great to see more and more alternatives being offered. The collar and leash feature a black central stripe surrounded by two stripes that are white in daylight, and glow luminous green in the dark.

BDSM collar and leash set

It’s really hard to get a picture of it in the dark with the mediocre camera I have, so here’s one from the official product page:

BDSM collar and leash glowing in the dark

The collar and leash are connected by a 35.5″ chain which can be unclipped from the D-ring at the front centre of the collar. The leash features a looped handle in matching black and white faux leather. Comfortable to hold and convenient for keeping your pet close to you!

The product copy says this collar is “submersible” but honestly I wouldn’t recommend getting it wet. Splashes won’t do it any harm, but I wouldn’t wear it in the shower or swimming pool.

Look and Style

The black-and-white look of this collar is just unusual enough to be eyecatching, but also means it will work with most outfits. The aesthetic isn’t either particularly masculine or particularly feminine (in my opinion), so it can potentially work for a wide array of different gender expressions.

Kinky collar and lead set BDSM toy in vegan leather

The glow-in-the-dark effect is fun and quirky. You’ll never lose your submissive in a dark sex dungeon again! Overall, this collar looks stylish and understated in the light, then fun and playful in the dark.

You tell me what you think, but I think it looks really cute on me!

Woman wearing a BDSM faux leather collar vegan leather

Make and Quality

One of the things I like about the Bondage Boutique products is that they generally provide well-made items for a fraction of the price you’d pay for bespoke kink gear. While I love a high-end piece as much as anyone, it’s vital that beginners and kinksters on restricted budgets have access to safe, quality toys.

The Bondage Boutique Glow-in-the-Dark Collar and Lead set appears well made and robust. The stitching is neat and strong, and the hardware pieces are securely fastened to the faux leather. You can safely tug on your submissive’s collar or leash without any worry about damaging them. (Obviously be very careful – this collar isn’t delicate, but necks are!)

Fit and Comfort

The Glow-in-the-Dark Collar and Lead set is fully adjustable. The collar features 7 sizing holes and you could probably add another easily enough with the right tool. But it measures 20.5″ in total length and will fit the vast majority of neck sizes as it is.

I found this collar comfortable and enjoyable to wear. The material is soft and flexible and doesn’t irritate my skin. The band is narrow enough that I can wear it comfortably for hours without it affecting my posture. (I have intermittent neck and upper back pain, and collars that are too wide can exacerbate it if I wear them for too long.)

From a comfort perspective, the only downside is that the material doesn’t really “breathe” so my neck gets very sweaty after a while. If you’re wearing it in a warm environment, you might want to take it off for a few minutes occasionally to let your skin breathe.

Verdict: Enjoy Your Glow Up

This is a really cute, fun, and versatile collar and lead set. It’s also well made, strong, comfortable, and should last you a good long time. Best of all, it retails for an incredibly affordable £14.99 ($19.99 US).

Don’t forget that you can get 10% off at Lovehoney with the code “coffkink10” at checkout!

Thank you to Lovehoney for sending me this item to review. All views, as ever, are mine. This post contains affiliate links and using them supports the site at no extra cost to you.

[Impact Toy Review] Sportsheets Vegan Saffron Layer Paddle

Update 15/09/23: sadly Self & More has now closed down. Links have been removed or amended to reflect this.

(I hope it goes without saying that what follows is a personal stance only, and I cast absolutely no judgement on people who make different choices – ethics are complex, personal, and multi-faceted, and we should all trust one another to make the best decisions for ourselves and our circumstances.)

I’ve mentioned before that I have complicated feelings about leather as a material. I love the look, the feel, the smell… but it also poses an ethical dilemma. I don’t eat meat and have recently been changing aspects of my diet to move closer to veganism, and for a long time I’ve only purchased vegan and cruelty-free cosmetics. So if I don’t eat animals, is it ethical to wear or use products made from them?

Even though leather is a meat industry byproduct (kind of, it’s actually more complex than that), I still worry that buying it supports that industry – even indirectly. The process of leather tanning is also environmentally problematic… though so are many leather alternatives made from polyurethane and similar plastic-based materials.

There are no easy answers to any of this, and I don’t have a hard and fast personal stance on leather for myself yet. I’m leaning towards continuing to love and use what I already own, but not buying any more new items. But that could change.

I share all this to provide a little context to my interest in faux-leather, leather-alternative, and vegan-friendly kink gear. Like this Saffron Layer Paddle from Sportsheets that I’m reviewing today, courtesy of my new friends at Self&More – a woman-owned, gender-inclusive and body-positive sex shop.

Sportsheets Saffron Layer Paddle

The Saffron Layer Paddle comes from Sportsheets’ Saffron range of vegan faux-leather kink products in black and red. It features three layered straps which are coated in fuzzy suede-like material (also vegan) on one side. The stitching is strong and holds up under use.

Vegan paddle from Sportsheets - Saffron Layer Paddle

The paddle is black and red, which are pretty much the quintessential “kink colours”. The outward facing surfaces are red, and the front side of the handle features a polka dot design.

The Saffron Layer Paddle features a loop handle which you can wrap around your wrist while you’re wielding the paddle, or use to hang it for convenient storage. A small tag bears the Sportsheets insignia.

Saffron Layer Paddle vegan BDSM toy

This paddle is 12.2″ long from tip to tip, and 2″ across. It’s super light, which makes it comfortable to hold and easy to wield. I don’t really top very often but on the rare occasions I do, I like toys that I can use until my bottom has had enough (as opposed to when my weak arms give out!)

Its Bark is Worse than Its Bite…

This probably isn’t a paddle for serious pain players, as the impact it delivers is on the gentler side. Pro tip: if you hit with the longest layer impacting the body first, you get a more impressive sting. The impact is pretty surface-level. Since the paddle is so light, you’re unlikely to get any significant thud out of it.

Vegan leather BDSM paddle from Sportsheets Saffron faux leather range

This is one of those paddles that sounds worse than it is. Thanks to the three layers smacking together, it provides a loud and satisfying THWACK even without putting much force behind it. If you’re looking for something that sounds impressive without needing to actually hit very hard, layered paddles are the way to go!

Safety Considerations

Paddles are one of the safest impact toys you can play with (floggers are slightly more dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing, and whips are yikes-just-don’t-go-there-without-expert-tuition!) You’re really unlikely to do any damage with a light paddle like this one, so you can play without worrying – even if you’re a complete beginner.

Just remember the golden rules: never hit the joints, spine, lower back and kidney area, head, or face. Aim for fleshy and padded areas like the butt, thighs, and shoulder blades.


This is a well-made and reliable basic piece that will serve you well and last a long time if you take care of it. If you’re new to kink or prefer playing on the lighter side and are looking for a vegan-friendly paddle, this is a solid buy.

The Sportsheets Saffron Layer Paddle retails for £24.

Thanks to Self&More for sending me this product to review. All views, as always, are my own. Shopping using my affiliate links makes me a small commission at no extra cost to you.

[Wearable Review] Bijoux Indiscrets Maze Choker/Collar

Have you folks noticed that collars seem to be really trendy right now? Everywhere I look, femme folks are wearing them as fashion accessories. This is both awesome (“I can wear my collar in public and no-one will think it’s weird!”) and really annoying (“it’s so hard to spot my people in the wild now!”)

The line between what constitutes a choker and what constitutes a collar is… flimsy. I’d say there are some items that are definitely collars, but ultimately the distinction comes down to the meaning you ascribe to it. Wearing a collar is, at its best, a place of safety and grounding for me. It gives me a sense of security in my submissive identity and the knowledge that my Dominant will take care of me for as long as I’m wearing it.

My former collar was a thing of beauty. I do not miss that relationship but I do miss that collar. Since then, I’ve worn a number of play collars, but none has ever felt as right around my neck as this one.

The black faux leather Maze collar on my desk.

Ethical Glamour

Like every piece in Bijoux Indiscrets’ Maze collection, this collar is made of faux leather made of polyurethane from recycled materials. This means it is both environmentally conscious and certified vegan! A major plus for those of us who love leather but feel weird about the animal cruelty implications of the real thing.

As I’ve said before, I struggle with what I acknowledge is a level of hypocrisy within myself, being a vegetarian who also adores leather. I particularly love Bijoux’s products because their faux leather looks and feels so close to the real thing. It sadly doesn’t have that sexy-as-fuck leather smell, but I guess you can’t have everything. This material is a really fantastic choice for the animal welfare-conscious kinkster.

Simple, Elegant and Comfortable

You can get all kinds of gorgeous and fancy collars. However, I’ve always tended more towards simplicity in the designs I like. The Maze collar is a slender band with a simple ring at the front, which is both decorative and functional (ideal for attaching a leash, for example!)

I have this collar in black, but it also comes in brown, which is equally beautiful and a really nice option for those who don’t want all their fetishwear to be black, red or purple. (I was sorely tempted to ask for a brown one myself! The black won out because it goes with more of my wardrobe.) Both colours are gorgeous.

The Maze collar is also super duper comfortable! I wore it all evening at a party, and it was so comfy that we were half way through our two hour drive home before I remembered I was still wearing it. (Gotta tell you, though, Bijoux collar plus Doxy t-shirt is the ultimate in “post-sex-party chic”.)

One Size Fits Most

I really love the fastenings on this collar. There is no buckle; instead, it is closed with a small peg which you push through one of the holes. I really liked this aspect as it meant it was super easy to put on and take off myself, without needing any help. The downside is that it is not lockable, so if you’re after a collar that can be locked into place, this is not the one.

It’s super adjustable, meaning one size will fit the vast majority of necks regardless of sex or body type.

The Perfect Everyday Collar

I am in love with this collar, and actually this entire range. Pair your Maze collar with a leash and cuffs for kinky fun, with a harness for bondage-inspired glamour, with my favourite ears for kitten play, or with some nipple-pasties/sparkles for burlesque-style sex appeal.

The Maze choker/collar retails for $24.99/£23, making it one of the more affordable pieces in the Maze collection. Eco-conscious beauty at an affordable price! It is available from SheVibe or directly from Bijoux.

Thank you to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me this piece free of charge in exchange for an honest review! If you buy your Bijoux goodies using my links, it sends a small commission my way and helps me keep doing what I’m doing.