Here’s a fun fact about me that tends to surprise new lovers: I’m much more of a strap-on top than a strap-on bottom. In other words, most of the time I prefer to be the person doing the fucking rather than the person being fucked. Unfortunately, gender stereotypes and outdated ideas about power dynamics mean that those of us who fall on the femme end of the gender spectrum and/or the submissive end of the power exchange spectrum are often assumed to be bottoms by default. Well, nope! I’m a femme and a submissive-leaning switch, and I also love strapping it on and fucking my partner. So naturally, I love getting to try out a new strap-on harness. The Pleasure Garden was kind enough to send me the hugely popular SpareParts Joque harness to try, and my girlfriend[1] was kind enough to help me test it out.
[1] Yes, after last year’s epic heartbreak, I’m in a new relationship! She’s amazing. I’m very lucky and very happy.
What is the SpareParts Joque Harness?
The SpareParts Joque is a harness for strap-on sex. It comes in two sizes (A fits a belt size of 20-50″, while B fits 35-65″) and two colourways, black or purple. Both sizes feature an O-ring (that’s the ring the dildo goes through to anchor it in place) that stretches to accommodate dildos between 1.25″ and 2″ in diameter.
The Joque is made of a combination of nylon and spandex, which is both comfortable and strong as well as moisture-wicking. Though these materials are not biodegradable or sustainable, they are durable and easy to clean. This means that, with a little care, your harness should last you a lifetime and never need replacing. These synthetic materials are also suitable for those who want to avoid animal materials such as leather.
The Joque features a wide, comfortable belt that sits around the hips. There are also two leg straps that hug the upper thighs and bottom of the butt cheeks. It fastens with velcro, meaning that you can make micro-adjustments so that it fits you perfectly. It also comes with a mesh bag for washing and storage.
Aesthetically, the Joque is perhaps a little more androgynous-leaning-masc than I would go for in a totally ideal world. Requesting the purple one made it feel a lot more like “me,” though. I can also, of course, femme things up by using the girliest dildos imaginable. (Which, naturally, I did. Before our date, I literally texted my girlfriend a picture of an array of dildos to pick from, all of which were some variation of brightly coloured, sparkly, or covered in little hearts.)[2] And ultimately, functionality is always going to be more important than anything else when it comes to strap-on harnesses.
[2] Since I know you’re wondering, I ultimately paired my Joque harness with my Lovehoney Galaxy Dildo on this occasion.
What I Liked About the Spareparts Joque
Retailing for £120/$148, the Joque is not a cheap option. However, for the quality I really believe it is more than worth the price. I’ve wanted one of these for ages, and now that I’ve tried it I can understand the hype entirely.
Here are a few of the things I liked about the SpareParts Joque.
It is super easy to set up, put on, and adjust. From unboxing it to being ready to use it took me maybe one to two minutes.
The ultra-adjustable velcro waistband means that even if my body size changes (which it tends to do quite a lot), the harness will still fit me. It also means that, if you and your partner have different body sizes but both want to top for strap-on sex sometimes, you don’t need to buy two.
It’s so comfortable! I love the wide waistband, which hugs my hips rather than cutting uncomfortably into them like harnesses with narrower straps tend to do. As a curvy gal, this is tremendously important to me. This harness is often advertised as a great choice for people who want to pack, and I can understand why. It’s comfortable and unobtrusive enough to wear under your regular clothes, if you like.
A fabric flap separates the dildo from the wearer’s body. This makes a big difference to comfort, particularly if you’re going to be playing for a while. It prevents uncomfortable rubbing or chafing. However, you can also move it aside if you prefer—for example, if you want to use the harness with a double-ended toy.
There are two small pockets, above and below the O-ring, where you can insert a bullet vibrator if you like. This provides additional stimulation to the wearer. You’ll need a tiny bullet vibe for this—something around 6cm or shorter is ideal.
It’s washable. Simply handwash it in some cool water, or throw it in the washing machine on a gentle cycle. (I recommend using the included mesh bag to protect it.) We all know that we should be sterilising our dildos between uses, but many people forget that their harnesses can also hold onto bodily fluids and bacteria. This is particularly important if you have anal sex or if you use the same harness with multiple partners.
Most importantly of all, the SpareParts Joque is simply a highly usable harness. With many strap-on harnesses, I have to hold the dildo in place or keep readjusting the straps. Not so with the Joque harness. It stays exactly where I put it and keeps the dildo perfectly positioned so that I can fuck my partner and keep my hands free. This allows me to touch and pleasure them in other ways at the same time (or to keep my balance in more challenging positions!)
Anything I Didn’t Like?
The only significant downside I wanted to flag with the SpareParts Joque harness is that the O-ring does not appear to be interchangeable. This probably won’t be an issue to most people due to its flexibility—I’m certainly not likely to be using dildos larger than 2″ in diameter—but if you like to use very girthy toys with your strap-on harness, it’s something to be aware of.
I also didn’t find the vibrator pockets to be ideally positioned. When I use this harness with a bullet vibe, it doesn’t really directly stimulate my clit. It still feels nice, and ultimately it’s not a big deal as I’m more focused on my partner’s enjoyment when I’m topping anyway. But if clitoral stimulation while you’re having strap-on sex matters to you, it is a downside.
SpareParts Joque Harness Review: Verdict
This is, simply put, the most functional and fully featured strap-on harness I’ve ever used. It is ultra-comfortable, it allows for numerous different styles of strap-on play, and it is easy to wear and use. I think newcomers to strap-on sex sometimes feel put off because harnesses appear to be so complicated and fiddly. But that doesn’t need to be the case. Turns out you just need a harness designed by someone who understands how strap-on sex actually works.
The SpareParts Joque harness does its job, and it does it damn well.
Thanks to The Pleasure Garden for sending me the Joque harness to try out! All views and experiences are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.
I’ve been wanting to do an Überlube review for ages, and the company was kind enough to send me not one but two samples of their silicone-based lubricant to try. I received both a signature 55ml bottle and a Good to Go Traveler set. The latter comes with a refillable travel case (available in 10 different colour options) and one 15ml refill. You can buy additional Good to Go refills as and when you need them.
I particularly like the Good to Go set for a couple of reasons. First, it’s super useful for popping into your bag or pocket for play parties, weekends away, or hot dates. Since it only contains 15ml of liquid, it’s also ideal for carry-on if you’re flying. 15ml might not sound like a lot of lube, particularly if you’ve got plenty of sexy shenanigans planned, but—as we’ll see shortly—it goes a surprisingly long way.
Überlube’s signature bottle and Good to Go refills are made from glass. The company states that this is because:
Glass is durable.
Glass is inert and impermeable—it’s what is used to store pharmateutical products over long periods of time. The bottles also feature a crimped top, ensuring that nothing can contaminate your lube once it is opened.
It looks nice on your nightstand. And it really does—the bottle reminds me of something that a miniature of a premium gin or vodka might come in.
As we have established, I am choosy about the lubes I will use. There are numerous common ingredients I eschew, from glycerin and propylene glycol through to parabens, petroleum-derived ingredients, and desensitising agents such as benzocaine. This means that there are very few lube brands I can safely rely on, and those I prefer tend to be expensive. Having looked at Überlube’s silicone lubricant ingredients, though, I was excited to test and review it.
Silicone lubes do not have some of the same issues as water-based products. They do not have osmolality issues and are pH-neutral, meaning they will not harm your body’s natural pH if you’re using them vaginally. And, since they contain no water, bacteria cannot thrive and these products do not require preservatives.
So what’s in Überlube and is it body-safe? Let’s look at the ingredients.
Dimethicone: this silicone-based polymer is commonly used in skincare products. It helps to condition and protect the skin by forming a barrier that reduces water loss. It has a low rate of absorption into the skin and experts believe it is safe for human use. In the US, it has been approved by the FDA.
Dimethiconal: another silicone-based liquid polymer that is used as a skin conditioner and to improve viscosity in silicone-based products. It, too, is considered to be a safe ingredient. As it is a large molecule, it does not penetrate the skin.
Cyclomethicone: a clear and odorless cosmetic-grade silicone that helps to give a product a silky texture. It’s controversial in some circles, but “the The Cosmetic Ingredient Review Expert Panel concluded that these ingredients are safe in the present practices of use and concentration” (Johnson, Bergfeld, Anderson et al 2012.)
Tocopheryl acetate (Vitamin E): a form of Vitamin E that appears in numerous cosmetics, skincare products, and supplements. It provides antioxidant benefits and can support overall skin health.
Überlube is registered as a medical device with the FDA. The company works closely with medical advisors, and the product is the lubricant of choice for many OB-GYNs.
Überlube is vegan and cruelty-free. It contains no animal-derived ingredients or animal testing used.
Überlube is truly odorless and tasteless. I literally licked it off the back of my hand (not generally recommended, but the things I do for my readers!) and couldn’t taste it at all. If the taste or smell of even mild water-based lubes bothers you, Überlube might be a good choice for you. It’s also ideal if you need additional wetness for oral sex but want to smell and taste your partner’s body, not your lube.
Its texture is silky, smooth, and non-sticky. My skin feels soft, moisturised and hydrated after using Überlube—unsurprising considering that dimethicone, dimethiconal and tocopheryl acetate are all common skin moisturisers and conditioners.
I’m very sensitive to textures in general—neurodivergent life amirite?—which is one of the reasons I can’t really use most oil-based lubes. The sensation of them on my hands gives me the “ick.” My experience with silicone lubes has been mixed in this regard, with some working for me and others very much not. Überlube, I am happy to say, does not give me that gross oily feeling nor did testing it for this review leave me wanting to run to the bathroom to wash it off as quickly as possible.
Bear in mind that you’ll need to wash really thoroughly afterwards to get silicone lubricant off your hands, genitals, and any other body parts it has found its way to. It doesn’t just rinse away like a water-based product will. I prefer to make time to jump in the shower after using silicone lube if at all possible.
The best thing about silicone lube? It lasts for-freaking-ever. Because it does not absorb into the body or dry up quickly, you really only need a small amount and it will last and last. This means that, though it might seem small, your little 55ml bottle will last you much longer than you think.
Überlube Review: Other Uses for Silicone Lube
Did you know that silicone lubricants like Überlube aren’t just for sex? For example, many athletes swear by Überlube to prevent chafing when they are working out. Similarly, one writer tried it as a solution to thigh chafing when wearing dresses and skirts in the summer and reports that it worked beautifully and lasted all day.
The other recommended use for Überlube was as a skincare and haircare product. After seeing how it leaves my hands (and various other parts of me) feeling, I can definitely see myself reaching for it when my skin needs a little pick-me-up. It’s far too slippery for an all-over moisturiser, and silicone can cause problems for skin when used in excess, but it’s ideal for soothing smaller patches of dry or irritated skin.
It also works well for taming my hair. I can’t use too much of products like this because my hair is naturally quite oily, but a tiny little bit rubbed between my fingers and then run over the ends of my hair helps to smooth down frizz and add a little extra bounce and shine. Functionally it works very similarly to a standard hair serum. If anything, this stuff felt a little lighter than my usual serum of choice (Frizz Ease by John Frieda, if you were wondering.)
A truly versatile product!
What to Know About Using Silicone Lubricant
There are lots of advantages to silicone lube. There are also some things to be aware of if you haven’t used it before.
Überlube is longer-lasting than most of the water-based lubes I’ve reviewed and does not dry out quickly, making it ideal for activities where you need plenty of lube for a long period of time. I really like using it for fisting for this reason. Many people also swear by it for anal sex. Because it’s not water-soluble, it is an ideal choice if you are having sex in water.
You can use silicone lube for pretty much any sexual activity including vaginal, anal, oral, or hand sex. For oral sex, try not to ingest too much of the lube but also don’t worry about it too much because a little bit likely won’t do you any harm. It is best not to use silicone lube with silicone toys as it can damage them. However, you can use it with plastic, glass, treated wood, ceramic, aluminium, or stainless steel toys.
Always, always, always check your lube’s compatibility if you are using any sexual health barriers such as condoms, dams, or gloves. Überlube is compatible with natural rubber latex and polyisoprene but not with polyurethane barriers, but not all brands will necessarily be the same.
If you spill any silicone lube on the floor, wipe it up immediately. It is very, very slippery and can make surfaces dangerous if you don’t (#askmehowIknow.) It can also stain your sheets if you spill it on the bed. Putting a towel down before you start can protect your sheets and save on cleanup time.
Überlube Lubricant Review: Verdict
I love this lube! Love it love it love it. My travel set is going to be going in my bag for every play party, weekend getaway or sexy date from now on. It feels great, and its lack of smell and taste make it completely unobtrusive. And as an added bonus, it even has additional uses as a haircare and anti-chafing product.
I’ll leave you with this gem from Mr C&K: “Überlube!? Did it arrive by taxi!?”
Thank you to Überlube for supporting this review with a free sample of their amazing silicone lubricant! This Überlube review contains affiliate links. All views, as always, are mine.
The vast majority of the lubricants I use, test, and recommend are water-based. This is because water-based lube goes with everything. However, I do enjoy trying different things sometimes! I recently reviewed Vibeology’s Pure Organic Water Based Lube, which I loved. Along with it, I also received a bottle of their Blend Hybrid Lube to review.
Let’s find out if it’s as good as its water-based counterpart.
What is Hybrid Lube and What Are Its Benefits?
Hybrid lube is, essentially, a combinated of water-based and silicone-based. In some situations and for some users, hybrid lubes can offer the best of both worlds. You get the natural feel of a water-based product, coupled with the ultra-smooth and long-lasting properties of silicone lube. They can also be easier to clean up than pure silicone lubes (though there’s still the risk of staining your sheets if you spill it, so consider putting a towel down.)
Some people also find that hybrid lube is less likely to damage silicone sex toys. I still recommend using caution and doing a patch test first, though, as this is not an exact science.
Hybrid lubes (or pure silicone lubes) can be a good choice if you’re having sex in water. This is because the silicone will not wash away anywhere near as quickly and easily as a water-based product would.
Vibeology Blend Hybrid Lube: What’s In It?
The most important element of any lubricant is its ingredients list. Let’s have a look at what’s in Vibeology Blend:
Purified water
Cyclopentasiloxane: A clear and odourless lightweight silicone. Some studies have linked this substance to cancers and reproductive harm in animal studies. This gives me pause, though two studies have shown that very little of the chemical penetrates the skin in humans, negating its possible endocrine-disrupting side effects. In general, it is considered safe for cosmetic use, though there is not an absolute consensus on this.
Dimethicone: This silicone-based polymer is commonly used in skincare products. It helps to condition and protect the skin by forming a barrier that reduces water loss. It has a low rate of absorption into the skin and experts believe it is safe for human use. In the US, it has been approved by the FDA.
Dimethiconol: Another silicone-based liquid polymer that is used as a skin conditioner and to improve viscosity in silicone-based products. As it is a large molecule, it does not penetrate the skin and is likely a safe ingredient.
PEG-8 Dimethicone: A synthetic emollient that can lock in moisture and help to keep skin hydrated. It is generally safe.
Propanediol: I did a deep dive into this one for my Wicked Simply Aqua review. Executive summary: various sources say that it is an alternative to propylene glycol. Some say it is safer than propylene glycol, others say it has basically the same effects in the body. The key difference is that it is derived from corn and its production is less environmentally damaging. These ingredients raise osmolality, which can cause irritation. Some sources also link them to an increased risk of yeast infections and UTIs. For that reason, I’m not thrilled about seeing it in this hybrid lube.
Hydroxyethyl Cellulose: A plant-derived gelling and thickening agent thought to be safe and not to hinder sperm motility.
Sodium Benzoate: A food-grade preservative that is likely harmless in small quantities.
Potassium Sorbate: Another food-safe preservative that is fine in low concentrations.
Disodium EDTA: This is another one I’ve looked into for a past post. It is a stabilising agent that numerous sources sources mark as an ingredient of concern. It is also a penetration enhancer, which means it facilitates the absorption of various compounds through mucus membrances (such as the vagina or anus,) and can cause irritation.
Citric Acid: Yet another preservative, also likely harmless in small quantities.
I don’t love this.
I was really hopeful about this hybrid lube after how much I gushed about Vibeology Pure in my review. However, the potential issues associated with disodium EDTA and propanediol concern me a lot, particularly when it comes to any kind of internal use.
There’s nothing here that is an immediate and unqualified “EXTREMELY TOXIC, RUN AWAY” red flag, but my vulva is prone to sensitivity and easy irritation, so I tend to be very cautious about my lube ingredients.
Vibeology Blend Hybrid Lube is vegan and cruelty-free.
Vibeology Blend Hybrid Lube Review: Performance and Sensory Profile
It’s a shame about those couple of worrying ingredients, because I actually really love the feel and usability of Vibeology Blend. It flows well thanks to its very thin consistency, spreads easily, and lasts really well. You really only need a tiny bit at a time.
This lube feels smooth and non-sticky on my skin. I do find that it leaves a slight residue behind after use, but it’s mostly just that my skin feels extra smooth and slippery until I’ve washed it off.
Blend Hybrid Lube has a very mild, slightly tangy scent and a similar taste. It’s unobtrustive to use, and works with rather than against my body’s natural lubrication.
Clean-up is more of a hassle than it is with water-based lubes, but easier than it is with pure silicone. With warm water and soap, this lube washes off my body quickly and easily. (Don’t spill it all over your desk and keyboard when you’re writing a review, though. Ask me how I know.)
Verdict
Great in-use performance and sensory profile, but I cannot get past those questionable ingredients enough to recommend this one. As always, risk profiles are personal and yours may be different from mine. If you’re happy with the risk profile of the ingredients I’ve highlighted, this is a versatile and useable lube. Personally, though, I’m unlikely to use it again.
Vibeology Blend Hybrid Lube retails for $24/18.15 for 8 fl oz and $16/£12.10 for 4 fl oz.
Thanks to Shevibe for sending me a sample of Vibeology Blend Hybrid Lube to test and review! All views, as always, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.
In a nutshell, a clitoral stimulation cream (which can also be a gel, balm, or oil) is a substance that you apply to the clitoris and surrounding area. The ingredients work to enhance pleasure, create additional sensations such as tingling and warming, and boost sensitivity.
These products are a great tool for people who struggle with arousal difficulties or loss of sensitivity, or just for anyone who wants to experience heightened arousal or more pleasure. They also have some great potential applications in kink and BDSM scenarios, particularly around orgasm control and forced orgasm.
Pulse Clitoral Stimulation Cream: What’s In It?
Image: Shevibe/Vibeology
You probably know by now that, when testing any product that goes directly on the genitals, the first thing I do is look at the ingredients list. So what’s in Vibeology Clitoral Stimulation Cream and is it safe and body-friendly?
The Ingredients Are As Follows:
Purified water
Aloe Barbadensis (Aloe Vera) leaf juice: A natural and safe ingredient which also has positive skincare benefits such as hydrating and irritation-reducing
Dimethiconol: A silicone-based liquid polymer that is used as a skin conditioner and to improve viscosity in silicone-based products. As it is a large molecule, it does not penetrate the skin and is likely a safe ingredient.
Polysorbate 20: A surfactant and emulsifier which studies have determined to be safe.
Plant-based Squalane: Squalene (note the spelling) is an oil that is traditionally taken from shark livers but can also be derived from plant sources. I reached out to Vibeology’s team and their development chemist confirmed that they use plant-based squalane from olives.
Hydroxyethylcellulose: A plant-derived gelling and thickening agent that seems to be safe.
PEG-16 Macadamia glycerides: A liquid emollient derived from macadamia nut oil and considered to be safe for cosmetic use.
Mentha Piperita (peppermint) leaf oil: An essential oil derived from the peppermint plant and safe in small quantities. Provides a cooling and tingling sensation, which is why you so often see it in this type of product.
Bisabolol: A safe plant-based skin soothing extract, primarily from chamomile.
Tocopherol acetate: A pure form of Vitamin E that is safe and commonly appears in skincare products.
Zanthoyxlum Bungeanum extract: An extract from Sichuan peppers that finds use in both food and skincare and does not appear to have any negative effects.
Cucumis Sativus extract: An extract from the cucumber plant that can be soothing to the skin and also adds to the product’s scent.
Citric acid: A preservative that is harmless in small quantities.
I have no concerns about Vibeology Pulse Clitoral Stimulation Cream from an ingredients or body-safety perspective.
Sensory Properties
Vibeology Pulse Clitoral Stimulation Cream comes in a small and easy-to-use pump top bottle.
This product has a noticeably lighter scent than many of the similar products I’ve tried. Some of them are almost overwhelmingly minty. So if you are sensitive to scents, this might be a good alternative to consider. It’s still slightly minty, but it’s light and pleasant.
Initially, I really loved the feel of this cream. It feels silky-smooth and massages into my skin easily. However, I quickly noticed that it was feeling pretty sticky. After I’d applied it I was left with a tacky, oily residue on my fingers that I needed to wash off quickly.
This stuff also tastes vile. Most of the arousal gels, creams and oils I’ve tried have had a distinctive but not unpleasant taste (except that one that tasted like inhaling perfume!) For some reason, though, Vibeology Pulse Clitoral Stimulation Cream has a really nasty, chemically taste that I couldn’t get out of my mouth. Don’t use this for oral sex.
So far, so unpromising. But did it achieve the desired effect?
Pulse Clitoral Stimulation Cream: Does It Work?
For me? Not really.
I’ve used quite a few products like this, and they have varying levels of effectiveness. Different products work for different bodies. This one produced a slight tingling, but very little else and its effects wore off very quickly. I applied more, and the same thing happened again. Overall, really disappointing.
Vibeology’s website claims this product is “compatible with pleasure objects,” by which I assume they mean sex toys. The presence of dimethiconol, a silicone, makes me hesitant about using it with silicone toys. With the tiny quantities you need, it’s probably fine, but I recommend doing a patch-test first so you don’t accidentally ruin your favourite silicone toy.
Due to the various oils, don’t use this one with barriers such as condoms or dams as it can degrade them and increase the risk of breakage.
Verdict
Meh.
I was underwhelmed by this one, especially after liking Vibeology’s lube so much. Unfortunately, it just didn’t really work for me.
Thanks to Shevibe for sending me this clitoral stimulation cream to test and review! All views and experiences are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post..
Finding good lubes is hard. It shouldn’t be, but it is. So many of the products on the market – not just those sold in chemists and supermarkets, but also those sold by specialist sex shops – are full of gross ingredients that can make lubricants anything from unpleasant to downright toxic to use. There are a very small number of lubes I totally trust at this point, and my vulva has experienced first-hand the effects of just grabbing whichever one is nearest. That’s why I tend to take my own when I go on sexy dates or to play parties. So when I read the ingredients list of Vibeology’s Pure Organic Water-Based Lubricant, I was excited to test and review this lube.
Vibeology Pure Organic Water-Based Lube Review: What’s In It?
At first glance, nothing in this lube’s ingredients list gave me any concerns. Let’s take a closer look at what’s in Vibeology Pure Organic Water Based Lubricant.
Purified water
Organic Aloe Barbadensis (Aloe Vera) leaf juice: A powerful skin-friendly ingredient which has hydrating, soothing, and irritation-reducing properties.
Hydroxyethyl cellulose: A plant-derived gelling and thickening agent that is thought not to hinder sperm motility. One source I read indicated that this ingredient might increase the risk of yeast infections in some users. However, I could not find a definitive scientific source to back this up.
Sodium benzoate: A food-grade preservative that is used in tiny quantities in lube and unlikely to be harmful.
Potassium sorbate: Another food-grade preservative likely to be harmless in these small quantities.
Citric acid: A preservative that also helps to balance the pH of a lubricant. Harmless in small quantities.
Carrageenan: A common food additive extracted from red seaweed. It is somewhat controversial in food but I could not find any evidence to suggest it is harmful in lubricant. Interestingly, there is some evidence that carrageenan may play a role in reducing transmission of human papillomavirus (HPV). Obviously you shouldn’t rely on this alone and should also practice safer sex! It is also unclear whether the tiny amount of carrageenan present in products like Vibeology Pure Organic Water Based Lubricant is sufficient to have this effect.
Hyaluronic acid: Occuring naturally in the body, hyaluronic acid has been highly prized in skincare for many years due to its ability to hydrate by binding with water. Research indicates that it is safe to use and can be an effective intervention for vaginal dryness.
Sodium ascorbyl phosphate: A stabilised form of vitamin C which acts as an antioxidant and helps with skin elasticity. Widely believed to be safe.
Overall, this is an excellent ingredient profile for a lube. Unless you’re allergic or sensitive to any of the ingredients, you should be able to use Vibeology Pure Organic Water-Based Lube free from worry.
Vibeology Pure is vegan, cruelty-free, certified organic, and hypoallergenic. It is also dermatologist-tested and manufactured in an FDA-approved facility in the US. This lube is compatible with both latex and non-latex condoms and safe to use with all sex toy materials including silicone.
Vibeology Pure Organic Water Based Lubricant Review: Sensory Properties and Performance
When it comes to selecting a lube, the ingredients are the most important piece of the puzzle but not the whole story. The product’s feel, texture, smell, taste, and consistency – as well as what residue it leaves behind, if any – are almost as important.
The first thing I noticed when I squeezed Vibeology Pure lube out of the bottle was how thick it is. Unusually for a water-based product, it’s not particularly runny. It’s really bordering on being more of a gel than a liquid. In practice, I found this meant I needed less of it than I would need of a runnier lube. I also found it lasted a little longer and I needed to reapply it less often. Some people find that gel-like lubes are preferable for anal play, in particular.
Vibeology Pure Organic Water-Based Lube is also the closest to a genuinely taste-free water-based lubricant I have ever tried. Even when I licked a huge glob of it off my hand (not the recommended way to use lube, but the things I do for my readers!), I could taste virtually nothing. It does have a slight scent, but it’s a mild and not-unpleasant tang that likely comes from the aloe.
Vibeology Pure is non-sticky, and did not leave behind any residue on either my skin or my sheets. Once it dried on my skin, only the very slight lingering scent gave any indication it had ever been there. I really like the way it feels, which is super smooth and glide-y. It does not irritate my sometimes-finnicky vulva. It also washes away quickly without a trace with soap and water after use.
Verdict
This is an excellent lube! Body-safe, silky smooth, taste-free, and filled with nourishing ingredients. I can heartily recommend Vibeology Pure Water-Based Lube if you’re looking for a gentle and body-friendly lubricant that won’t break the bank, irritate your bits, or stain your sheets! It’s a particularly good choice if you’re looking for something a bit thicker than the more typical runny consistency of water-based lubes.
Thanks to Shevibe for sending me Vibeology Pure Organic Water Based Lube to test and review! All views and experiences are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping with them sends me a small commission at no additional cost to you.
Whenever I encounter a sex-related thing I haven’t tried before, I immediately want to try it (and tell my readers all about it, obviously.) That’s why, when For Play Couples’ Sex Chocolate came across my social feed recently, I immediately fired off an email to founder Victoria to enquire about featuring them on my blog.
She was kind enough to send me some samples of her company’s products to try. We decided to publish this review today in celebration of World Chocolate Day.
Sex and chocolate are, after all, two of life’s greatest pleasures.
So What is For Play Chocolate?
For Play Chocolate came about when Victoria, a former CMO with an MBA, began to research the issue of sustaining intimacy in a long-term relationship. Drawing on research from an array of experts including Dr Karen Gurney and Emily Nagoski, PhD, she decided to create a product to “remind couples to make time for intimacy and play.”
Known variously as couples’ chocolate, sex chocolate, horny chocolate, and aphrodisiac chocolate, For Play chocolate kits are designed to help couples to connect, get in the mood for romance, and enjoy greater levels of intimacy.
Each box of For Play sex chocolate comes with six chocolates (three for each partner) and six “Play Cards”. The cards offer suggestions for erotic experiences to try, from taking a sexy shower together to experimenting with food play. There are also question cards to help you connect, reflect, and learn more about each other and your relationship.
The chocolates are labelled “His” and “Hers”, and there are boxes available for same-gender or different-gender couples. I’d love to see a non-binary or genderless version added to the range in the future, if possible.
For Play sex chocolate kits come beautifully packaged in sleek and stylish boxes in either pink, purple, or green. The chocolates themselves are beautiful, too, decorated with pink and bronze edible shimmer. The overall first impression is of luxury and high quality.
For Play’s products are vegan and made using ethically sourced 62% Ecuadorian dark chocolate. Their supplier is Original Beans chocolate, rated as a leading company by Chocolate Scorecard for environmental, sustainability, and labour practices.
How Does For Play Sex Chocolate Work?
For Play’s sex chocolate is super delicious, combining the sweet-bitter combo of quality dark chocolate with the infusion of subtle, natural botanical flavours. It melts smoothly in the mouth and the popping candy leaves a fun tingling sensation in its wake.
But how does it work?
Mr C&K had a long chat about this when we sampled our chocolates, and we came to the conclusion that this product works in two main ways. I’m going to call them “direct” and “indirect.”
The Direct Effects: The Science Bit
The direct way that For Play sex chocolate works is through its botanical and adaptogenic ingredients. To understand this better, we need to delve into the science a little bit.
An aphrodisiac, in the most basic sense, is “a food or drug that arouses sexual instinct, brings on desire, or increases sexual pleasure or performance” (Healthline.) Numerous foods, from oysters to strawberries and even hot chilli peppers, have been alleged to be aphrodisiacs throughout history.
Another common food thought to have aphrodisiac properties? Dark chocolate.
Little to no concrete scientific evidence directly links most common aphrodisiac foods to an increase in sexual desire. However, this doesn’t mean there is nothing to the concept at all. Experts have attempted to explain aphrodisiacs’ apparent benefits through various means, from simple placebo to the sensual pleasure of consuming delicious things, the “luxury” status that society affords some of these foods, and the impact on bodily functions that play a role in sexual activity and desire (such as blood flow and dopamine release.)
Some foods and edible compounds, therefore, may play a role in sexual functioning in various ways. Let’s look at the active ingredients in For Play’s couples’ chocolate and what the research has to say about them.
Dark Chocolate
Dark chocolate like the kind For Play uses has often been associated with sex, sensuality, and desire. is rich in both antioxidants and caffeine, both of which can improve blood flow. It also contains L-arginine, which may enhance sexual responsiveness. A 2021 systematic review suggested that “l-arginine, as part of a combination product, may be considered for the treatment of women with Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, regardless of age.” (Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder or HSDD is, broadly, a lack of sexual desire or very low desire that causes distress or negatively impacts your life.)
Consuming chocolate also triggers the release of chemicals such as endorphins and dopamine, which are associated with feelings of happiness and wellbeing.
Maca
Maca, which comes from the Peruvian maca root plant, has long been thought to boost fertility and sexual desire. One 2002 study indicated an improvement in self-perception of sexual desire in men after 8 weeks of maca use. Another pilot investigation also indicated that treatment with maca extract increased sexual desire amongst male athletes. Maca is only in For Play’s “For Him” chocolates, as there is currently more evidence for its effectiveness in (cis) men.
Ashwagandha
Ashwagandha is a herb that originated in India and has been utilised in various ways for centuries. A 2015 pilot study showed that ashwagandha root extract could improve sexual functioning in otherwise healthy cis women. Another 2022 study indicated that treatment with ashwagandha provided a “statistically significant improvement” in sexual functioning amongst women with HSDD. Ashwagandha is in For Play’s “For Her” chocolates.
Fenugreek
Fenugreek, a clover-like herb that belongs to the pea family, finds use in both cooking and herbal medicines. One study found that “Sexual function analysis for all women… found that treatment with fenugreek resulted in reported increases in sexual arousal and desire in women” (Tester, 2015.) Another double-blinded and placebo-controlled 2021 study found that fenugreek “offered significant beneficial effects to sexual problems” amongst its female participants.
Korean ginseng
Ginseng is a vasodilator, or something that opens the blood vessels. By increasing blood flow in this way, it can have sexual benefits such as helping with erectile dysfunction. A small 2002 study and a 2008 systematic review found “suggestive evidence for the effectiveness of red ginseng in treating ED.” Likewise, a placebo-controlled double blind 2010 study found that “Oral administration of KRG extracts improved sexual arousal in menopausal women.”
In a Nutshell…
A product like For Play sex chocolate for couples is a helping hand, not a magic bullet. If you’re stressed out, angry at your partner, or suffering from the sexual side effects of health problems or medication, it isn’t going to magically override all that and make you horny. No food or substance can, because human sexuality is way more complicated than that.
What its ingredients can do, though, is give your body a natural nudge in the right direction. Combined with creating the right conditions for pleasure and intimacy – which we’ll discuss more in the next section – these adaptogenic ingredients can work with your body to enhance intimacy and pleasure.
For Play notes that you should seek medical advice before using their products if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or taking any medications. And, of course, you should avoid this product if you are allergic or sensitive to any of the ingredients.
The Indirect Effects of For Play Sex Chocolate: Finding New Ways to Stay Connected
The indirect way that For Play Chocolate works is all about creating the time, space, and physical and emotional context for greater intimacy in your relationship.
Sex, after all, is mental at least as much as physical. In her life-changing book Come As You Are, Emily Nagoski writes extensively about the devastating impact that life stress, mental health challenges, lack of trust, lack of emotional safety, and feelings of pressure can have on sexual desire. To connect better with our partners and ourselves, we need to reduce stress, feel safe and seen, and make space for desire and pleasure.
Staying connected and keeping intimacy, passion, and sex going in a long-term relationship can be challenging. New relationship energy (NRE) naturally fades over time into the more comfortable, cosy warmth of long-term love. This is particularly true when you’re married or nested, your lives are very entangled, or you’re raising children together.
It is important for couples to set time aside to focus on each other and their relationship. Exploration, adventure, and trying new things can all help to keep the spark of novelty alive. With those things and a little effort, the long haul can be where the really good stuff is. There’s nothing like completely knowing someone and them knowing you inside and out, and choosing each other every day.
Using a product like For Play sex chocolate can help couples to create that all-important time together. It can facilitate the conditions needed for intimacy of all kinds – including sexual, physical, and emotional – to flourish.
For Play Couples’ Chocolate is really a date night in a box. You get to set aside dedicated time for your relationship, enjoy some tasty treats together, and explore new ways of connecting. There are even some suggested Spotify playlists to help set the mood.
I found the question cards particularly great for this aspect of the experience. The question prompts sparked some interesting discussions and also plenty of laughter. Even seemingly simple questions (“What does intimacy mean to you?” was my favourite) can get you thinking and talking about things in a different way.
Verdict
I really enjoyed this product, which is far more than just a gimmick. A lot of thought and care has gone into the formulation and creation of For Play’s kits. The quality of the chocolate, ethical credentials, and beautiful presentation really elevates them, too.
For Play sex chocolate retails at £28 per couples’ kit. That’s less than you’d pay for a meal in a mid-range restaurant or about what you’d pay for a couple of drinks in a nice bar. Since you only need one chocolate each time, you’ll get three experiences out of one box. And, of course, you can continue to use the cards for as long as you like.
A thoughtful (and tasty) romantic gift or a cute way to set aside a little “us time” with your partner. There’s also a 30 day satisfaction guarantee with your purchase.
Thanks to For Play for sponsoring this review and sending me a box of their sex chocolate for couples to test. All views are, as always, mine. Professional product images by For Play and reproduced here with permission.
Choosing lube should not be as much of a minefield as it is. Many lubricants still contain numerous toxic or otherwise harmful ingredients such as parabens, propylene glycol, glycerine, benzocaine, and petroleum-derived ingredients. And, of course, sex toy and lube safety do not feature in any sex ed curriculum that I know of. This week, I received Wicked Simply Aqua water-based lube to review.
I’m very choosy about lube, mostly to protect my vaginal health. I’ve had too many experiences of reaching for some random bottle of lube at a sex party or on a lover’s bedside table only to have to go and rapidly wash it off due to an adverse reaction to some ingredient or other.
At the current time, there are two brands of water-based lube I reach for on a regular basis: Sliquid and Bloomi. I rotate others in occasionally (such as my fave CBD-infused lube and a silicone-based one I like when I’m not using silicone toys), but those three are my staples. When I go to play parties or on sex dates, I bring my own. As I said, I’m picky.
Wicked Simply Aqua Water-Based Lube: What’s In It?
When I’m considering trying a new lube, the first place I go is to the ingredients list. The second place I go is to the internet to research any ingredients I’m not familiar with.
So what’s in Wicked Simply Aqua water-based lube?
Water
Propanediol (corn): the various sources I read tell me that this is an alternative to propylene glycol, with the key difference that it is derived from corn and its production is less environmentally damaging. The jury’s out on how similar its effects are in the body – some say it is safer, others say it functions basically identically to propylene glycol. These ingredients raise osmolality, which can cause dryness, irritation, and may increase the risk of yeast infections in people with vaginas. According to a fantastic in-depth post by fellow blogger Phallophile Reviews, many lubes – including this one – have an osmolality over the safe limit recommended by the World Health Organisation.
Cellulose gum (cotton seed): a safe plant-derived thickening agent.
Hydroxyethylcellulose (tree bark): a plant-derived gelling and thickening agent. Lubes with this ingredient can be a good choice for people trying to conceive as it does not hinder sperm motility.
Disodium EDTA: a stabilising agent that numerous sources sources mark as an ingredient of concern. It is a penetration enhancer, which means it facilitates the absorption of various compounds through mucus membrances (such as the vagina or anus.) It can also cause irritation. I’m disappointed to see it in Wicked Simply Aqua.
Olea Europaea (olive) leaf extract: a safe ingredient that is rich in antioxidants and may have positive benefits for the skin.
Stevia Rebaudiana leaf/stem extract: a common plant-derived sweetener that is not a sugar and will not have the negative effects of sugars on the genitals. It may also have some skincare benefits when used topically.
Citric acid: this is commonly used in lube to balance the pH to more accurately mimic the body’s. It is also a preservative. Some sources say to be wary of this ingredient, while others say it is likely harmless in the tiny quantities that appear in lubricants.
Sodium benzoate: a food-grade preservative that is likely harmless in the small quantities used in lube.
Potassium sorbate: Another food-safe preservative which is harmless in small quantities.
Yeah, it’s not looking great for this lube. The natural ingredients with beneficial properties, such as the stevia and olive extracts, are positives. However, the use of propanediol and disodium EDTA give me serious pause.
Wicked Simply Aqua is suitable for vegans and certified cruelty-free. It is also pH balanced for vaginal use.
Sensory Properties & Performance In Use
It’s a real shame about Wicked Simply Aqua’s couple of questionable ingredients. Those aside, I actually really liked its sensory profile and performance. It has a nice medium-thin consistency, flows well, and a little goes a long way. It is also non-sticky, doesn’t leave a tacky residue behind, and won’t stain your sheets.
Its scent is mild and only really noticeable if I have my nose very close to the product. What scent there is, I can best describe as tangy and mildly citrussy. Its taste is surprisingly sweet, which I imagine is due to the stevia.
It feels nice, lasts well (for a water-based product, which will always need reapplying eventually), and works well with my body’s natural lubrication.
Wicked Simply Aqua Lube Review: Verdict
Sadly I cannot recommend Wicked Simply Aqua lube.
Despite its nice sensory properties and solid performance, the ingredients are too problematic. Of course, your acceptable risk profile may be different from mine. My vulva is very sensitive and prone to reacting badly to irritation. For that reason, I tend to be highly cautious about my lube ingredients.
As always, I’m only giving you my personal opinion and experience. And this time, my opinion is that there are plenty of better, body-friendlier lubes out there that you should buy instead. Try:
Whether you’re looking to take your kink party look to the next level or just add a little fetish-inspired glamour to your wardrobe, accessories can make your outfit. MAZE is a line of BDSM-themed vegan leather accessories from Bijoux Indiscrets including harnesses, headpieces, cuffs, and more. They sent me a selection of pieces to test and review.
MAZE: Ethical Glamour?
Every Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE product is made of PETA-certified vegan polyurethane (PU) faux leather. PU leather is controversial because, though it is not made from animals, it is a type of plastic made from petrochemicals which have a terrible impact on the environment.
However, Bijoux Indiscrets’ MAZE range is made from recycled materials that would otherwise have ended up in landfill. For ethical and environmental reasons, I don’t usually buy new plastic-based faux leather items. But, since this material was already out there in the world and would otherwise have gone to waste, I feel comfortable wearing and recommending the MAZE range.
Ultimately, like real leather, you’ll have to consider your personal values and make your own decisions when it comes to PU leather.
The Look and Feel of Bijoux Faux Leather
Bijoux’s faux leather is soft and supple, looking and feeling remarkably like the real thing. The only thing missing is that unmistakeable leather smell.
Based on my experience with the various MAZE pieces I’ve tried it wears well——softening up just a little over time—and requires minimal maintenance to stay looking good as new. If you need to clean your MAZE accessories, a damp cloth and a little gentle soap is all you need.
Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE O-Ring Collar
There are all kinds of elaborate, ornate and fancy BDSM collars available. However, sometimes elegant simplicity is what’s called for. The MAZE O-ring collar is a slender black band with a simple ring at the front, which is both decorative and functional (ideal for attaching a leash, for example!)
The MAZE collar is comfortable and easy to wear. On its first outing, I wore it all evening at a party, and it was so comfy that we were half way through our two hour drive home before I remembered I was still wearing it.
I like the simple fastening mechanism on this collar. Instead of a buckle, you close it by poking a small peg through one of the holes. The Bijoux Indiscrets O-ring collar is adjustable from a minimum circumference of 12.2″ up to a maximum of 16.14″, to fit the vast majority of wearers.
Pair your MAZE collar with a leash and cuffs for kinky play, with a harness for bondage-inspired glamour, or with some nipple pasties for burlesque-style sex appeal.
The Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Hand Harness is a bracelet that’s worn around the wrist with an additional strap extending to a finger loop. They come in a set of two.
I really love these hand harnesses. They’re incredibly sexy in an unexpected way, just vanilla enough to wear in public but just kinky enough to draw a second glance. I like them as an easy way to enhance a simple all-black outfit with a little bondage-inspired twist. As someone who uses my hands a lot in an expressive way when I talk, I love having them accessorised like this. They’re comfy to wear, too, and do not impede my ability to use my hands normally.
If you like, you can also use the Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Hand Harness as a kink tool. Why not clip them together to hold your partner’s hands behind their back, or attach a leash to one of them through the centre ring?
Unfortunately, the MAZE Hand Harness is not particularly size-inclusive. Although the wristband is adjustable from 6.3″ up to 7.87″, the finger loop is not adjustable and is pretty small. I have fairly small hands even for a cis woman, and the finger loop was slightly too snug to be truly comfortable. It did loosen a bit with wear, but it is right on the limit of what I could wear comfortably. Anyone with hands larger than mine—which includes a lot of AFAB people and the vast majority of AMAB people—would not be able to wear it comfortably.
The Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Leg Garters consist of two bands that sit just below the knee and around the ankle. A central strap runs up the back of the calf and connects them. They come in sets of two.
Like the MAZE hand harnesses, I find these sexy in a unique way. The calves and lower legs are not areas we often think to accessorise, which I think is a shame. An accessory that draws the eye to that part of the body adds an unexpected focal point to a look.
The MAZE Leg Garters are versatile, too. They look great with stompy boots and fishnet tights, but equally good with a short skirt and killer heels or even over a pair of skinny jeans. In fact, they’ll draw attention to your legs in just about any outfit and you can style them in tonnes of different and fun ways.
Again, though, size inclusion is a major problem. The band that goes around the knee is adjustable from 11.42″ to 13.78″. The ankle band is adjustable from 6.69″ to 9.84″. I can wear the leg garters on the loosest setting at the top and second loosest at the bottom. But again, a large majority of people with bigger bodies will simply not be able to wear them. Some MAZE products come with extenders, but these do not.
The Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Cross Cleavage Harness sits around the waist with straps over the shoulders and a criss-cross design across the chest. Though it’s described as a “cleavage harness”, it’s totally wearable by people both with and without breasts. This piece is available in black or light brown.
The MAZE Cross Cleavage Harness is adjustable around the waist as well as over the shoulders, so you can get a comfortable fit for your body. The criss-cross section sits close enough to the centre of the chest that it should be comfortable even for people with larger breasts to wear.
In terms of sizing, I’m coming back to my consistent complaint about size inclusiveness again. The MAZE Cross Cleavage Harness fits waist sizes from 60cm (23.62″) up to 94cm (37″.) With the black harness only, you’ll get an extra extender that can add up to 25cm (9.84″) extra. I’d love to see these pieces made available in a wider range of sizes. I’d also love to see the brown version come with extenders, too.
The Cross Cleavage Faux Leather Harness is pretty androgynous in its style. This means you can pair it with an array of outfits to create the aesthetic you want—femme, masc, or anywhere in between. It works well with other fetishwear items such as latex, lingerie or corsetry (I think it would look spectacular over an underbust corset) or as a standout piece on its own. Thanks to the detailed design, it also pairs well with simple garments such as a plain t-shirt, dress, or blazer. It’s a real statement accessory that can elevate a basic outfit to a bold and memorable look.
The Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Multiway Harness is a body harness that can be worn in multiple different ways. It has four straps that connect to an O-ring in the centre. Bijoux shows a couple of variations for ways to wear the harness on the product page, but honestly there aren’t really any wrong ways! Wear it however feels good to you. This piece is also available in both black and light brown.
The MAZE Multiway Harness is adjustable and, depending on your body shape and how you wear it, can either hug the contours of your body or hang more loosely.
The neck straps are adjustable from 23cm (9.05″) up to 44cm (17.32″), and the waist is adjustable from 130cm (51″) up to 151cm (59.44″). Considering it wraps around twice, the standard harness will work for anyone with up to around a 30″ waist. If you order the black, you’ll also get two 20cm (7.87″) extenders.
Though I like the inclusion of the extenders, I would really like to see this harness made available in a wider range of sizes. I’d also like to see Bijoux using models with more diverse body sizes. That’s why I’ve included the pictures of me wearing the harness above, so you can see how it looks on a different body type.
Image: Bijoux Indiscrets
As with the other Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE harness, this is a versatile and fundamentally fairly androgynous piece you can style in many different ways. I’m currently planning an outfit involving this harness over a corset, paired with leather trousers and my Doc Martens.
I love this piece and its versatility. I think I’ll be getting a lot of wear out of it!
Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me these pieces from the MAZE accessories range to try. All views are, as always, mine. This post contains affiliate links.
My Body Mist arrived beautifully presented in black and gold packaging decorated with flower motifs, matching the floral notes in the fragrange. The Body Mist comes in a gorgeous black spherical glass bottle with an old-fashioned fabric bulb to spray it on. The presentation is top-notch and luxurious, especially considering the very reasonable price-point.
Like all Bijoux Indiscrets products, Aphrodisia Body Mist is vegan and cruelty-free. The formula is also alcohol-free.
Aphrodisia is a floral scent consisting of rose, ylang ylang, and jasmine as the primary notes. It’s very floral and feminine, elegant yet still light and wearable.
The thing I like the most about fragrances is the stories, moods, and images they can invoke. When I spritz on a new scent, I like to close my eyes for a second and ask myself, who am I when I’m wearing this perfume? Where does it transport me to in my mind?
The story that the Aphrodisia scent tells me is one of fanciness imbued with sensuality. It makes me think of attending a black tie event wearing a ballgown, but with a little something extra… perhaps I’m wearing the tiniest, laciest underwear imaginable. Perhaps I’ve snuck on a body harness under my dress. Or perhaps I’m simply subtly making eyes at my lover across the room to let her know I’m already thinking about her ripping the dress off me when we get home.
The scent of the Bijoux Indiscrets Aphrodisia Body Mist is strong and distinctive when you first apply it – you really only need a spray or two. It mellows out over the hours as you wear it, but I’ve never found that I needed to reapply it. This means the 100ml bottle will last you ages.
Verdict
Aphrodisia Body Mist retails for €35 ($40 or £32.) I love this perfume, and I can’t believe how well-priced it is! No matter what I’m doing or where I’m going (or not going), it’s a lovely scent I can spray on when I want just a little extra fanciness in my day.
Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me the Aphrodisia Body Mist to try. All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.
Scent is powerful. It can evoke feelings, stir memories, and play a major role in the sensory experience of arousal and sex. That’s probably why pheromone perfume is having a big moment right now. There are 33.5k posts carrying the #pheromoneperfume tag on TikTok and 57.5k posts on Instagram at the time of writing. But do pheromone perfumes actually work? I was keen to find out. So when I got offered some Eye of Love pheromone perfume products to try out and review, I couldn’t wait to delve into what this viral craze is all about.
What Are Eye of Love Pheromone Perfumes?
To understand what pheromone perfumes are and whether they actually work, we first have to understand what pheromones are.
In short:
Officially named in 1959, pheromones are chemical substances that are secreted outside of the body in fluids like urine and sweat. Essentially, pheromones are a hidden form of communication. They send signals from one individual to another of the same species. This triggers a response in the individual receiving those signals, such as a hormonal change or specific behavior.
Interestingly, there is still a gap in scientific understanding when it comes to exactly how, or even if, pheromones work in humans. According to one paper from 2013 published in Facts, Views and Vision in ObGyn, “Many examples exist in animals but their role in humans remains uncertain since adults have no functioning vomeronasal organ, which processes pheromone signals in animals.” Deb Levine, MA and Stephanie Watson, writing for WebMD, say, “It’s not clear how the [pheromone] process works in humans. We do have VNO organs, but they’re small and may be too poorly developed to process pheromones like the VNO organs in animals can. More likely, we process these signals through our olfactory system.”
Pheromone perfumes, then, operate on the assumption that—like animals—humans use pheromones to increase their sexual attractiveness to potential mates. These fragrances contain synthetic versions of the substances that are commonly called human pheromones. The idea, then, is simple: wear them and people will be more attracted to you.
Eye of Love’s pheromone perfumes utilise two key compounds that have been deemed to be human pheromones or to have a pheromone-like effect in humans: estratetraenol and androstenol.
All Eye of Love perfumes are vegan and cruelty-free. They smell yummy, as we’ll discuss more a bit later. But do pheromone perfumes actually work?
Do Pheromone Perfumes Actually Work? What the Science Says
Eye of Love’s pheromone perfume, which I’m testing and reviewing today, can supposedly help you “be more attractive. Be more social. Be more successful.” All that from a perfume? It’s a lofty claim.
There’s a lot we don’t understand about how human attraction works. And, as we established in the section above, there’s also a lot we also don’t understand about how (or if) pheromones work in humans. So whether or not these pheromone perfumes actually “work” in any scientific sense isn’t really provable right now.
And look, I’m inherently somewhat cynical. As a general rule, I don’t believe in things for which I cannot see meaningful evidence.
Anecdotally, pheromone perfumes do seem to have a positive impact for many people. You’ll hear stories about service staff doubling their tips when they wear pheromone perfume, people getting asked out at the shops, and people suddenly having way more sex with their long term partners when they start using these products.
Is that down to the perfume, though? Honestly, until there’s more robust scientific backing behind the pheromone phenomenon, I’m going to assume it’s a placebo affect. If you believe something is going to make you more attractive, you’ll act like a person who believes themselves to be attractive. This, in itself, can be highly desirable. If you believe in the effects of the perfume, you might carry yourself with more confidence. This means you’ll project the open, flirtatious vibe of a person who knows they’re desirable and wants to be approached. In other words, it’s a simple placebo effect in action. Confidence can draw people to you in a way that might make you think “wow, it’s the pheromones!” when, spoiler alert, it’s actually all you.
Let’s not forget the fact that simply smelling nice can be a turn-on to many people. Scent can be incredibly erotic, so wearing a nice perfume can itself increase people’s attraction to you. When I see a woman I find attractive, smelling a nice perfume on her as she walks by can make her even sexier.
Shawn Talbott, PhD, quoted in a piece by Charlotte Hilton Anderson, MS, for The Healthy, also points out that “We know that plant compounds, like lavender and chamomile, can be used to reduce stress and enhance relaxation. So if stress is interfering with mood and suppressing libido, then we can use ‘plant pheromones’ to reduce stress. And if you’re less stressed then maybe your sex drive increases a bit.” In other words, the perfume might be having an impact but possibly not in the way you think.
The many positive pheromone perfume reviews could also be attributed, in part, to confirmation bias. In other words, if you expect to be more attractive wearing the perfume, you might notice attention from others more than you normally would (even if the actual type or amount of attention you’re receiving hasn’t changed.)
What I’m really saying is, if you’re going to try pheromone perfumes, go in with realistic expectations. You’re not going to just spritz this stuff on and instantly become irresistible to everyone of your preferred gender(s) who lays eyes on you. (That’s fairytale love potion silliness and even if it was real, it would be highly ethically questionable!)
What you might find, though, is that you find a little more confidence. A little more of your own, internal and unique brand of sexiness. And that can be just as magical, if not more so.
Eye of Love Pheromone Perfume: Matchmaker Collection Review
The Eye of Love pheromone perfume Matchmaker Collection consists of two scents: Black Diamond and Red Diamond. Red Diamond is marketed more towards straight women and other people looking to attract men, while Black Diamond is marketed towards straight men and other people looking to attract women. (There are LGBTQ+ versions of each also available—mine both say “Attract Her”—though I’m unclear on whether there’s any actual difference in the product! I assume they contain different pheromones according to the genders of the people you’re trying to attract.)
Ultimately, though, both scents (like all scents!) are gender-neutral and for whoever feels good wearing them.
Eye of Love “Black Diamond” Review
Eye of Love describes Black Diamond as “a bold blend of cedar, blackcurrant, and lemon. Undertones of oak, white amber, and musk.” I’m kinda wary of describing scents using gendered language, but this one feels decidedly masculine to me.
When I first put it on, the cedar is the main thing I can smell. I actually like this one more when I’ve been wearing it for a couple of hours and it’s had time to mellow out on my skin. At that point, the fruity scents start to come out a little more.
Black Diamond is definitely sexy. This one calls to mind dark corners in atmospheric cocktail bars, leaning over to kiss a soft butch girl whose lips taste of whiskey. It calls to mind the black leather and dark wood of the swankiest BDSM dungeons I’ve been to, of the tug of restraints around my wrists and the slap-slap-slap of a flogger across my back.
Ultimately, I think I enjoy this perfume best on someone else rather than on myself. Black Diamond is a lovely scent, I just don’t think it’s my scent.
Eye of Love “Red Diamond” Review
Eye of Love describes Red Diamond as “a sensual blend of jasmine, grapefruit, and amber with a touch of citrus.” There are also middle notes of lily and blackcurrent and base notes of musk and vanilla. It feels femme and flirty, and calls to mind the way that summer sunshine always makes me feel sensual and sexy.
This one feels far more at home on my skin. I like the way it softens over the hours I’m wearing it, leaving me feeling like I’m wearing a bouquet of fruit and flowers.
Red Diamond is sexy, too, but in a very different way to its counterpart. If Black Diamond is kissing in a dark corner of a cocktail bar, then Red Diamond is flirting at a wholesome coffee shop while thinking about all the terribly non-wholesome things I would like to consensually do to the pretty femme across the table.
This one smells good enough that I’ll seriously consider buying more when my sample bottle runs out.
Eye of Love Pheromone Perfume: Day to Night Bloom Set Review
I also received the Eye of Love Day to Night Bloom Set to review, which consists of two new fragrances from the Love in Bloom range: Sunny Daze and Lilac Dream. These fragrances draw inspiration from two strains of the cannabis plant: Sativa and Indica respectively. However, they do not actually contain any of those components.
These fragrances were, apparently, “specifically made to attract men” which is… not a thing my sapphic ass has any significant desire to do. However, since I don’t believe that the ways these these pheromone perfumes work actually has anything to do with gender (or indeed with pheromones), I don’t see any reason they shouldn’t also help me to feel sexy, confident and badass as I venture out attempting to meet women!
The TL/DR version is that I absolutely love both of these gorgeous fragrances.
Eye of Love Perfume: “Sunny Daze”
Sunny Daze is a sweet and floral perfume with top notes of bergamot, middle notes of Damascus rose, and base notes of jasmine. The rose comes out most strongly for me in this one, with the overall effect being super flowery. The jasmine comes through more after I’ve been wearing it for a while, softening and mellowing the rose fragrance so it’s not too overwhelming.
Sunny Daze is light and easy to wear, with just one or two spritzes needed to last me all day.
This one makes me think of strolling through a rose garden with a sweetie, or maybe sniffing a rose while wearing an ultra-girly floral dress. It evokes the pinks, reds, yellows, and oranges of blooming roses and the warmth of the sun on my back.
Eye of Love Perfume: “Lilac Dream”
If Sunny Daze is a wholesome daytime scent, Lilac Dream is its slightly more sultry twin that’s perfect for evening wear. Its top notes of vanilla and apple blossom are complemented by the middle notes of cashmere wood and base notes of musk, giving it a feminine yet warm, earthy vibe.
Lilac Dream is still light and summery, but with a hazy, romantic edge to it. This is the kind of perfume I’d spray on to have dinner at an outdoor restaurant or to head out for drinks by the beach when I’m on holiday somewhere hot.
Over time, the vanilla—which is the most prominent scent when I first spray this perfume on—fades into the background and allows the musky, woody notes to shine.
Eye of Love Classic Collection Pheromone Perfume Review: “After Dark” and “One Love”
Finally, I received “After Dark” and “One Love,” two pheromone perfumes from Eye of Love’s Classic Collection, to test and review.
Classic Collection “After Dark” Review
Eye of Love describes its After Dark scent as follows:
Sharp. Sexy. Bold. Want your evening to end with more than just a kiss? After Dark is the perfect scent to accompany you on a nighttime tryst or bring the passion back to life with your partner.
After Dark is definitely the sexier of these two classic fragrances. It contains top notes of galbanum oil, lily and grapefruit, middle notes of white chocolate and jasmine, and base notes of costus root, ambergris, and vanilla. The florals don’t come out as strongly as they do in some fragrances, and the overall effect is quite sultry. It calls to mind the kind of kiss you share at the end of an amazing first date, the kind of kiss that you just know is leading to a lot more.
This perfume feels quite androgynous to me, which isn’t always my personal vibe. However, I actually like this one more the longer I wear it. The initial sharpness wears down, leaving a warm fragrance with just a hint of underlying sweetness.
Classic Collection “One Love” Review
Eye of Love describes One Love as “refined femininity at its peak”. It contains top notes of orange, middle notes of jasmine, rose and lily, and base notes of musk, ambergris and vanilla. For me, the vanilla comes through the most strongly when I first apply the perfume. Over the next few hours as it settles onto my skin, it mellows and the rose and lily take centre stage.
One Love is a light, floral, and summery scent. It’s a fragrance I’d spritz on for a picnic date with a cutie in the park or to sit outside and drink cocktails on a sunny patio (the latter being exactly what I did with a friend the first time I wore this fragrance!) It evokes long warm evenings, long fruity drinks, and smelling the flowers on the nighttime breeze as we walk home.
This one is ultra femme and pleasingly easy to wear. It also lasts well, with a distinctive scent still detectable on my skin many hours after applying it.
How Did I Feel Wearing Eye of Love Pheromone Perfumes and Did They Actually Work to Make Me Feel Sexier?
I received Eye of Love pheromone perfume to review at an… interesting time. I’m not dating at the moment, mostly because I’m still recovering from the most brutal breakup of my entire life. So opportunities for trying pheromone perfumes out in actually “sexy” contexts to see if they’d actually work for me were few.
However, I did manage to find a few chances to try them while out with friends or Mr C&K. I’ve also been wearing them around the house to see if they can help to lift my mood amidst my endless fog of post-breakup depression, even if just for a moment.
As I mentioned up at the top of this post, I’m cynical. I’d need to see a lot more hard evidence to believe that pheromone perfume has any scientific merit behind it.
What I do believe in, though, is using cosmetics—including perfumes—to feel more like myself, evoke the kind of mood I want to project, and boost my confidence. I find scent powerful, and I do feel myself walking a little taller and smiling a little more when I know my makeup looks good and I smell nice. Who doesn’t feel more confident with a spritz of a scent that makes them feel most like themselves? Confidence is the sexiest thing of all to many people, and it’s something I have been sorely lacking in the last couple of months.
There’s even something a little bit magical in spraying on something from a bottle labelled “attract her.” The perfume probably won’t, in itself, attract her (whoever she is)… but maybe, when the time is right,I can? But it did help me to briefly remember what it feels like to see myself as sexy, attractive, and desirable. And right now? Honestly, that’s something.
Where to Buy Eye of Love Pheromone Perfume
All of these pheromone perfume products are available directly from Eye of Love:
Thanks to Eye of Love for sending me these pheromone perfumes to try. All views and experiences are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.
