Coffee & Kink Valentine’s Day Gift Guide 2020

I understand intellectually that Valentine’s Day is a made-up holiday… and I love it anyway. I’m a soppy hopeless romantic at heart, and a day to celebrate love is fine by me! Of course, I think this should include all forms of love, not just sexual and romantic relationships.

As the Day of Love is fast approaching, I wanted to share with you a few of the products I’ve tried recently and that I think would make ideal gifts, if giving sexy/romantic gifts is something you do in your relationship.

For new partners or nervous beginners: Feeling Foxy Gift Box

The Feeling Foxy subscription box, for a Valentine's 2020 gift guide

What is it? Feeling Foxy is a new gift box subscription service. You sign up initially for 12 months (though you can cancel at any time) and receive a box bi-monthly. Your box is a surprise and will contain a mix of items such as dildos, vibrators, bondage gear, lube and more. Check out my unboxing thread to see what I got in my box.

Who is it good for? These boxes are ideal for people who are just exploring. Whether you and your partner are new to each other, looking to spice things up but not sure where to start, or they’re interested in trying toys but feeling overwhelmed, a subscription box gives you lots of different things to try out. Perfect for figuring out what you like!

Cost: £45 for the “Play Time” box (4+ items,) £85 for the “More Play Time” box (6+ items.)

For power queens and clit-stim connoisseurs: Wand by We-Vibe

The We-Vibe Wand, for a 2020 Valentine's Day gift guide

What is it? Did anyone else let out an actual squee when they heard We-Vibe were releasing a wand? Yeah, me too! Simply named Wand, this toy combines We-Vibe’s signature strong, rumbly motors and app connectivity with nifty new innovations such as Smart Silence touch-sensitive tech, all packaged in the classic wand style we know and love. It even comes with two awesome attachments for more versatile play.

Who is it good for? People who love POWER POWER POWER! Wand by We-Vibe is the most powerful cordless toy on the market right now.

Cost: £159.99 UK, $170 US.

For whimsical romantics: Hot For You colour changing underwear

Plus size model wearing the Hot For You lingerie from Lovehoney. For 2020 Valentine's gift guide

What is it? Hot For You is Lovehoney’s 2020 Valentine’s range. The little heart or flame motifs change from black to red as your body temperature rises.

Who is it good for? This is a cute, inexpensive gift ideal for those who love a touch of playful sillyness with their romance.

Cost: £19.99 for the bra and knickers set (also available in plus size!) or £14.99 for the thong for cock-owners.

For luxurious lingerie lovers: Wild Blooms

A white female-bodied person wearing the Lovehoney Wild Blooms embroidered body. For Valentine's gift guide 2020

What is it? This brings a whole new meaning to giving your lover flowers! Wild Blooms is an absolutely stunning range of beautiful lingerie by Lovehoney. The pieces are made of a soft black mesh and embroidered with colourful flowers. I’m absolutely in love with my Wild Blooms body – it’s always coming out at play parties.

Who is it for? A sensual and sexy treat for the femme in your life. The aesthetic is both elegant and feminine. Perfect for a Valentine’s night in… or out!

Cost: RRP £44.99 but currently all pieces are reduced to £18 – mega bargain!

For penis owners: The Hot Octopuss Pulse III

Hot Octopuss Pulse Solo. For a 2020 Valentine's gift guide
Hot Octopuss Valentine's Day sale banner 2020

What is it? I know I never stop banging on about this toy but I am absolutely convinced it’s the best toy for dicks on the market. (Not having a dick myself, I am basing this on the many excellent reports I’ve heard!) The Pulse III is a toy for penises which is based on actual medical science. It uses oscillations to stimulate and induce orgasm, and can be used from hard or flaccid.

Who is it for? Great for anyone with a penis who is looking to try a different type of stimulation, change up their masturbation routine, or just get off in a new way!

Cost: £89 for the basic model, £129 for the enhanced Lux model. But all Hot Octopuss toys are buy-one-get-one-half-price until the end of Monday 10 February!

For proud queerdos: Godemiche Pride Ambit

Bi Pride flag dildo. For 2020 Valentine's gift guide

What is it? Godemiche’s Ambit might be the most perfect dildo known to exist (at least for my body!) The shape and curve is just perfect, and they come in a huge array of colours and styles. I own three of them and frankly I want more. (Especially the one called “Sparkly Bisexual” because: MOOD.) Their Pride collection Ambits are styled after a variety of pride flags: Gay/LGBTQ+, bisexual, transgender, genderqueer, pansexual, polysexual and lesbian.

Who is it for? Make your favourite LGBTQ+ person’s Valentine’s by getting them a dildo in the relevant pride flag. What could be more romantic than a gift that says “I see and love who you are… AND I want you to have awesome orgasms?” Plus, £10 of the purchase price will go to support an LGBTQ+ charity.

Cost: £45.99.

What are you hoping to get for Valentine’s Day this year, loves? And what are you giving your sweeties?

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. Images are either by me or property of the respective retailers and used with permission. All views, as ever, my own.

[Toy Review] We-Vibe Chorus

There are a number of buzzwords and phrases, frequently used to describe sex toys, of which I am highly sceptical. One of these is “for couples”. Another is “hands free”. The We-Vibe Chorus claims to be both of these things. However, my experiences with We-Vibe over the years have been almost universally positive, so with my hopeful-but-ready-to-be-disappointed face firmly in place, I set out to test the new We-Vibe Chorus for you guys.

First impressions

The We-Vibe Chorus in its box

The We-Vibe Chorus comes attractively packaged in a sturdy box. Inside you’ll find the toy and remote, a USB charging cable, and a dock that functions as both travel case and charging station. There’s also a little instruction booklet and a free packet of water-based personal lubricant. (Second ingredient: glycerin. Ughhhhh.)

The We-Vibe Chorus comes in three colours, and mine is “Cosmic Pink.” It is OBNOXIOUSLY pink. (I asked for the purple, but I guess everyone probably asked for the purple. Ah well.) It’s sort of shiny-sparkly

The matte silicone is squishy and soft to the touch.

Shiny new tech! (Or: How is the Chorus different to previous We-Vibe models?)

The Chorus is the latest iteration of We-Vibe’s signature “wearable” vibrators, a line which also includes the Match, Unite and Sync. But how is it different?

The We-Vibe Chorus and remote

The most obvious upgrade, when we compare the Chorus to the Sync (its most recent predecessor,) is the introduction of the squeeze remote. The tighter you squeeze the remote, the more intense the vibration gets – and vice versa! This is a genuinely innovative touch that I haven’t seen anywhere else. You can turn squeeze control on and off with the small button at the top of your remote. When squeeze control is on, you use the +/- buttons to set the base intensity – that is, the lowest setting it will default to if you stop squeezing. We’ll get more into fun ways to play with this in a minute.

There’s also new touch-sense tech, which responds to your movements against the sensor, changing the intensity of the vibrations to match depending on which setting you’ve selected. You can turn touch-sense off through the We-Connect app, if you want to. I had a play with this function but the responsiveness was mixed. Overall, I found it too unpredictable to be pleasurable, and quickly turned it off. If I’m going to use touch-sensitive tech, I want to to actually be reliable. The We-Vibe Wand achieved this much better than the Chorus does.

The WeVibe Chorus and remote on the docking stand

Another significant upgrade to this model is that it is adjustable in two places. Not only can you adjust the distance between the two arms, you can also alter the angle of the internal arm for a more comfortable and stimulating fit. I can’t overestimate how appreciated this is! Bodies come in a wide range of shapes and sizes, and one size will never fit all. I find getting poked in the vaginal walls off-putting and the opposite of erotic, frankly, so being able to adjust the Chorus to actually sit comfortably in my body was a game-changer.

Finally, the Chorus is the first We-Vibe product to use a mix of AnkorLink and Bluetooth technology to connect it to the We-Connect app. The difference here was EXTREMELY noticeable – the connection was much more stable and the responses much more consistent.

In conclusion, the Chorus might superficially resemble We-Vibe’s previous offerings, but you get so much more bang for your buck.

The Chorus is waterproof (though the remote is only splash-proof). I got just shy of 90 minutes of playtime from a full (2 hour) charge.

Not just for couples!

Again, I find the notion of “toys for couples” annoying. Anything can be a couples’ sex toy if you use it with a partner! And many so-called couples’ toys can be used just as well for solo fun. The phrase “toys for couples” has come to be near-synonymous with “toys you use while having penis-in-vagina intercourse”. But lots of couples don’t have sex like that, or only have sex like that sometime… and of course, not all couples are cis-hetero! I vote we change the common terminology to “toys for PIV” instead of “toys for couples”.

Anyway, I digress. The We-Vibe Chorus is a great option if you’re looking for a toy to wear during PIV sex. The slender and adjustable internal arm makes for a comfortable fit regardless of your bodies’ shapes and sizes, and the external arm provides powerful clitoral stimulation – which 70 – 90% (depending on which study you believe) of vulva-owners need to reach orgasm.

But it’s so much more than that! I actually really like this style of toy for solo masturbation. Though I do need to use my hands (see below,) holding it against my body requires almost no strength or energy. It’s easy to use a dildo with it at the same time if I’m after more internal stimulation.

Other fun ways to play

Thanks to its innovative technology and design, this toy has so much potential beyond the obvious “wear during PIV” application.

If you’re into power-exchange games, you could give your partner the remote and have them use the squeeze function or buttons to control when and how you get pleasure. Or the person who is wearing the vibrator could be tied up with the remote in their hand, and their Dominant partner could instruct them on when to squeeze tightly (getting more stimulation) and when to release (getting less).

I really like playing edging games with this toy – squeezing tightly until I’m close to coming, then releasing the control to back off again.

Due to the improved app connection and functionality, this toy is also ideal for long-distance play. Wherever you are in the world, simply hook your toy up to your partner’s phone via the app, and you can give them control of your toy while you sext or exchange smutty pictures.

Not really hands-free

As ever, bodies are different and your mileage may vary. But I do not agree that the We-Vibe Chorus is a hands-free toy. However I adjusted it, I could not get it to stay firmly in place. Every time I moved slightly or changed the intensity of the vibrations, it would shift and move away from my clit. I ended up using one hand to hold it in place and the other hand to operate the remote.

Not a huge problem in the grand scheme of things, but if you’re looking for a truly hands-free experience you’ll want to be aware of this. (Also: if you find a sex toy that is actually, effectively, 100% hands-free, please let me know. This is up there with unicorns on the list of “things I am convinced do not exist.”)

Worth noting: the lovely Phallophile Reviews suggests that wearing tight knickers (such as Spanx) helps this toy stay in place. So that’s something to try!

Power play

Importantly, how does the We-Vibe Chorus stack up in terms of power? Frankly, if I’m going to spend close to £200 on a toy, it’d better knock my socks off, power-wise!

We-Vibe have long been known for using excellent, powerful motors in their toys and the Chorus is no exception. For its small size, it packs a punch. The vibrations are strong, rumbly and – in case this is important to you – surprisingly quiet.

The gentle, lay-on contour of this toy, plus the rumbly vibes, feel fucking phenomenal against my clit.

Final thoughts

If you’re looking for the ultimate “wear during PIV” toy, this is it. I’m seriously impressed with the Chorus! But I also really love this toy for solo play. It’s on the pricier end at £179.99 ($199 US) but you get so many nifty features for your money. I wholeheartedly recommend it.

A gem. We-Vibe have done it yet again.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Chorus in exchange for an honest review. We-Vibe’s other new release, the Wand, will feature in my Valentine’s Day Gift Guide, coming out tomorrow, so stay tuned for that! Header image is by Lovehoney and used with permission, all other images by me. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Toy Review] Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples

Hey, did you see I have a newsletter now? Sign up for a bi-weekly delivery of latest posts, stories of my adventures, sex toy deals and filth straight to your inbox! Now on to the review. 

I try really hard not to be prejudiced against a toy before it’s even been anywhere near my bits. But I have to admit there was a part of me that hated the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples on sight. Perhaps that’s why it’s languished at the bottom of my “to be reviewed” pile for six months. My bias is a little bit because I get pissed off when “for couples” is used interchangeably with “to be used during penis-in-vagina intercourse,” is if that’s the only type of sex couples have. It’s a little bit because I hate the late-nineties text-s  peak tweeness of “4” instead of “for”. And it’s a lot because I looked at this fucking thing and went “there is no way that’s gonna be effective”.

Facts ‘n’ Figures

The Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples lying on my laptop keyboard.

The Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples is one of the models in Satisfyer’s new generation line, which also includes the G Spot Rabbit (which I quite enjoyed) and the Pro Plus Vibration (which I adored). It’s V-shaped, clearly vaguely modeled after other wearable-during-intercourse vibes such as the We-Vibe Sync (which I recently reviewed for Sex Tech Guide). It utilises Satisfyer’s signature contactless stimulation via rapid pulses of air or “pressure waves”.

There’s a large bulky part which sits against the vulva and houses the pressure wave/suction clitoral stimulator. The second arm is shorter, very slim and flexible, and is designed to sit inside the vagina and vibrate.

This toy boasts two separate motors. The clitoral stimulator has 11 different levels of intensity, and the internal arm has 10 vibration patterns. They are controlled by separate buttons and can be used together or independently.

The Pro 4 Couples is fully waterproof and USB rechargeable. It retails for $99.99 on Lovehoney USA. At time of writing it is not available through the UK site.

Care & Cleaning of Your Satisfyer…

Like all Satisfyer products, the Pro 4 Couples is body-safe. The exterior is matte silicone, the buttons are plastic, and the silicone nozzle end is removable for easier cleaning. Being waterproof, you can submerge it to clean it fully, or use a medical wipe for a quick clean-up. It’s not really condom/barrier compatible.

As always, I recommend water-based lube for silicone toys.

The Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples lying on a white lined notebookGood Points

No toy is all bad. (Scratch that: some toys are all bad). It would be unfair not to acknowledge the Pro 4 Couples’ good points, even though the overall product didn’t work for me.

I really like the air pressure technology Satisfyer use for their clitoral stimulators. It provides intense pleasure without numbing, and this toy is no exception.

I also liked that you can control the clitoral arm and the internal arm separately. I hate vibrations inside my vagina, so being able to turn them off was a godsend.

What I didn’t like

Literally everything else?

Though I’m sure it will work for some people, this product just feels really badly designed to me. For one thing, it doesn’t stay in place! I struggled to get it to stay on my clitoris without using my hands when I was using it solo and staying very still. There is absolutely no way this thing would remain in position during any sort of thrusting..

Secondly, I found the internal arm not only provided no pleasure but was actually painful! This is quite a feat considering how small it is. It tapers to a point for some reason, and when I put the toy in the right position so that the suction nozzle was over my clitoris, this pointy end poked painfully into the wall of my vagina.

Third, there’s no way I could get a penis inside me alongside this toy. I tried valiantly with a dildo (a small dildo!) and it just made the painful poking feeling worse.

Finally, the internal vibrations are buzzy as fuck. I tried them on my clit, just for fun, and I was going numb within a few seconds.

I’m willing to accept that this toy might work well for some people as a solo toy, if their vulva happens to be shaped in exactly the right way to fit with it, but as a toy for wearing during intercourse it’s simply not fit for purpose.

Needless to say, I don’t recommend it. But what should you get instead?

If you’re looking for a pressure wave clitoral stimulator for solo use, get the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration. For dual clitoral suction and G-spot stimulation, get the G-Spot Rabbit. Or for a toy to use for clitoral pleasure during intercourse, get the We-Vibe Sync.

I can see what Sayisfyer were going for with the Pro 4 Couples, but it just misses the mark in so many different ways. A really disappointing offering from a manufacturer I usually like.

Thanks to Satisfyer for sending me this product in exchange for an honest review. All opinions mine, etc. If you want to support me, please become a Patron, buy me a coffee, or shop using the affiliate links in this post and the right hand sidebar.