Recommended Reading & Resources

Everything on this list is something I have actually read/used and actually endorse, by the way. I’ve tried to group things into categories based on the topics I talk about most often.

FYI: most book links are affiliate links. I am an affiliate with Bookshop, and you can find all my recommendations in my shop here. If there’s a resource that isn’t on here and you think it should be, let me know!

Sex Books

Sex Online Resources

  • What Consent Looks Like from helpingsurvivors.org: An excellent primer on understanding and practicing good sexual consent.
  • What’s My Body Doing? A web-series about sex, sexuality and relationships from a pleasure-focused and research-informed point of view.
  • The Dildorks: Kate Sloan and Bex Caputo‘s weekly podcast of “dorky discourse on sex, dating and masturbating.”
  • Sex Gets Real: Dawn Serra’s wonderful podcast on all things sex has now finished, but the backlog is well worth exploring. Dawn also runs workshops, events, and offers private coaching (I’ve worked with her in the past and she’s brilliant.)
  • Scarleteen: Billed as “Sex Education for the Real World,” Scarleteen is ostensibly aimed at teenagers and young adults but conveys information all of us need. Puberty, recognising abuse, pregnancy and parenting, sexual politics, and gender identity are just some of the topics covered.
  • Rewriting The Rules: Writer, therapist and activist-academic Meg-John Barker’s site, covering sex, gender, relationships and more.
  • Bish UK: “A guide to sex, love and you for everyone over 14.”
  • Dr Nerdlove: Advice column on sex, dating and relationships aimed primarily at straight men, and a breath of fresh air in a world of incel culture and pickup artists.
  • Queeries by B-Vibe: Journalist and certified sex educator Bobby Box answers all those burning questions that were “a little too gay for sex ed.”

Kink & BDSM Books

Kink & BDSM Online Resources

  • Fetlife: The Facebook of kink (has a lot of issues, so proceed with caution, but still the best place to find events and keep in touch with your local community.)
  • Loving BDSM Podcast: A hilarious, heartwarming, and informative BDSM podcast with a 24/7 D/s slant. They also have a Youtube channel and a blog!
  • Crash Restraint: A hub of rope bondage resources and tutorials.

Polyamory & Consensual Non-Monogamy Books

Polyamory & Consensual Non-Monogamy Online Resources

  • Polyamory.com Forum: Ask your polyam questions, share your journey and benefit from others’ experiences and wisdom.
  • r/Polyamory on Reddit: An active forum with thousands of users navigating the nitty-gritty of polyamory. (A lot of the content is quite 101 level.)
  • Polyamory Weekly Podcast: Host Minx explores “responsible non-monogamy from a pansexual, kink-friendly point of view.” No new episodes since late 2021, but an enormous backlog with 15 years of mosty-evergreen content to explore.
  • Life on the Swingset: A long-running podcast on “all aspects of ethical non-monogamy.” Some clear focus on swinging but also polyamory, open relationships, and other forms of consensual non-monogamy.
  • Fabswingers: A huge swinger dating and hook-up site with membership mainly, though not exclusively, in the UK. You can sign up as a single or as a couple.
  • Kasidie: A swinger dating and hook-up site with a primarily North American user-base. I found it useless from a UK user perspective but US and Canadian swingers swear by it.
  • Facebook: There are hundreds of polyamory and non-monogamy groups on Facebook including international, national, and local groups. They vary wildly in quality and can be quite dogmatic, so tread carefully.

Sexuality & Science, History and Culture Books

Feminism Books

Bisexuality Books

Sex-Positive Memoirs