Who am I?
Hello! I’m Amy Norton (she/her pronouns.) I am, in no particular order, a sex blogger, a digital sexuality journalist, an erotica author, an adult product reviewer, and a kink educator and community organiser.
I’m a 30 year old queer, cis woman living in the UK. Some words I use to describe myself include #Sparklefemme, polyamorous, a crap swinger, an intersectional feminist, and a very-occasionally-switchy submissive. I’m also a survivor, a mental illness sufferer, and a writer above all.
I like my sex like I like my coffee: hot and several times a day.
Why a sex blog?
Because I find sexuality endlessly fascinating and I am firmly convinced that sex has the power to change the world. The sex education most of us receive is woefully lacking – if we get any at all – which means we have millions of adults who don’t understand their bodies and live under the weight of massive sexual shame.
I want people to talk openly about sex. I want accurate, pleasure-focused information for everyone, and I want informed, enthusiastic consent to become a minimum standard. Coffee & Kink is my small attempt at being that change.
I can’t imagine ever running out of things to say about sex. Back in late 2016, my writing was getting some attention over on Fetlife, so I thought, hey, some people actually care what I have to say! I opened up a free WordPress account, and Coffee & Kink was born.
What I did not expect was that the site would explode in popularity, that people would give me money to write about sex, or that it would help me quit my day job to be a full time writer. But here we are! This whole experience is still kind of bonkers to me.
What to expect here.
You’ll find reviews of sex toys, books, BDSM gear, and more. You’ll find articles, personal essays and opinion pieces on all aspects of sexuality and relationships, with somewhat of a focus on BDSM and consensual non-monogamy. There will be occasional personal stories from my own sex and love life, as well as erotic fiction.
Coffee & Kink is set up to be an accessible and inclusive space for people to read, learn, expand their horizons and start having conversations. I run this space on an explicitly intersectional feminist ethos with consent, pleasure, equality, education, and safety as my guiding values.
Respectful debate and discussion is encouraged, but sexism, racism, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, classism, ableism, kink shaming, body shaming and any other bigotry will not be tolerated here. I moderate all comments and will not allow hateful ones through, and I will block repeat offenders. Basically, don’t be a dick.
Again, this is an 18+ space. If you are under legal age to access adult materials where you live, then please leave immediately. You can find accurate information about sex and relationships at Scarleteen or Bish.
Cast of Recurring Characters
- Amy Norton – Yours Truly. (She/her.)
- Mr CK – Primary/nesting partner. (He/him.)
- The Artist – Secondary partner. (They/them or he/him.)
- The Minstrel – The Artist’s primary partner, my metamour and dear friend. (They/them or he/him.)
- Evil Genius – On-and-off FWB and good friend. (He/him.)
- Fondlebeast and Twistergirl – Dating and sexfriends for well over a decade. Primaries with each other. (He/him and she/her)
Where to start?
If you’re new to all this and just doing your research, try the Good for Beginners category.
To see a small selection of my best work, have a read of some of these:
- The Tyranny of No Rules: In Defence of Polyamorous Hierarchy
- Sex Not Stigma: Using My Sexuality to Manage My Mental Health
- I’m Looking for Baggage That Goes With Mine
- “Pretty” is Not My Success: On Being a Swan
If you’re a social media person, feel free to connect with me on Twitter or send me a friend request on Fetlife (no message required, but feel free to send one if you have a question, some feedback, or just want to say hi and/or tell me I’m amazing.) I hate Facebook, I don’t trust the privacy settings on Instagram, and I am way too old for Snapchat. So Twitter and Fetlife are where I live.
If my work is valuable to you and you’d like to support me, please consider buying me a coffee.
And finally, to dive in wherever fate takes you, try today’s ‘Random Post’ in the right hand sidebar.
I invite you to brew yourself a hot cup of coffee (or whatever your poison is,) open your mind, read around, explore, and enjoy.
All the illustrations on Coffee & Kink are by Charlotte Willcox, an amazing feminist illustrator who you should hire for all your graphic design needs!