This is the third in my series of reviews for new brand The One. These toys are available exclusively at Sex Toys UK here in the UK, while across the pond they’re available at retailers… More
Blog
[Cosmetics Review] Eye of Love Perfume: Love in Bloom & Lilac Dream
Yes, it’s time for another Eye of Love perfume review! I recently received two fragrances from Eye of Love’s new Love in Bloom range, which includes perfumes, colognes, and room sprays as well as a moisturiser/lube and a massage oil.
What is Eye of Love Pheromone Perfume and Does It Work?
Pheromones are chemicals that some animals secrete in their bodily fluids and use to attract a mate. Pheromone perfume is, in short, perfume imbued with a synthetic ingredient designed to mimic natural pheromones.
As for the question of “does pheromone perfume work?” I did a deep dive into that in my last two Eye of Love review posts, so I recommend having a read of those if you’re interested in learning more. The very short nutshell version is that the science to back up “pheromone perfume = irresistible attractiveness to your preferred gender(s)” just isn’t there. In fact, current research doesn’t even prove that humans have and use pheromones in the way that some animals do!
The effects that many users swear they experience from using pheromone perfumes can be down to a whole host of factors: placebo, confirmation bias, increased confidence as a result of wearing a sexy scent, people’s reaction to the scent itself, the mood-enhancing properties of some of the other ingredients in the perfume, and so on.
I have never believed that pheromone perfume was going to help me meet the woman of my dreams. But I do understand the role that the right fragrance can play in setting a vibe, getting into a certain mood, and stepping out into the world as the persona you want to present.
With all that said, let’s look at the Day to Night Bloom Set from Eye of Love’s new Love in Bloom pheromone perfume range.
What is the Day to Night Bloom Set?
I received the Day-to-Night Bloom Set, which consists of two new fragrances from the Love in Bloom range: Sunny Daze and Lilac Dream. These fragrances draw inspiration from two strains of the cannabis plant: Sativa and Indica respectively. However, they do not actually contain any of those components.
These fragrances were, apparently, “specifically made to attract men” which is… not a thing my gay self has any desire to do. However, since I don’t believe that the ways these perfumes work fundamentally has anything to do with gender, I don’t see any reason they shouldn’t also help me to feel sexy, confident and badass as I venture out attempting to meet women!
The TL/DR version is that I absolutely love both of these gorgeous fragrances, which are also vegan and cruelty-free.
Eye of Love Perfume: Sunny Daze
Sunny Daze is a sweet and floral perfume with top notes of bergamot, middle notes of Damascus rose, and base notes of jasmine. The rose comes out most strongly for me in this one, with the overall effect being super flowery. The jasmine comes through more after I’ve been wearing it for a while, softening and mellowing the rose fragrance so it’s not too overwhelming.
Sunny Daze is light and easy to wear, with just one or two spritzes needed to last me all day.
This one makes me think of strolling through a rose garden with a sweetie, or maybe sniffing a rose while wearing an ultra girly floral dress. It evokes the pinks, reds, yellows and oranges of blooming roses and the warmth of the sun on my back.
Eye of Love Perfume: Lilac Dream
If Sunny Daze is a wholesome daytime scent, Lilac Dream is its slightly more sultry twin that’s perfect for evening wear. Its top notes of vanilla and apple blossom are complemented by the middle notes of cashmere wood and base notes of musk, giving it a feminine yet warm, earthy vibe.
Lilac Dream is still light and summery, but with a hazy, romantic edge to it. This is the kind of perfume I’d spray on to have dinner at an outdoor restaurant or to head out for drinks when I’m on holiday somewhere hot.
Over time, the vanilla – which is the most prominent scent when I first spray this perfume on – fades into the background and allows the musky, woody notes to shine.
Where to Buy
You can buy these two fragrances together as a set for £35 for two 10ml bottles from Eye of Love. You can also buy them separately at £19 for 10ml or £31 for 30ml.
Thanks to Eye of Love for sending me the Love in Bloom set to review. All views, as always, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.
How Negative Past Experiences Can Impact Your Polyamorous Relationships and 5 Things You Can Do About It [Polyamory Conversation Cards #17]
Unless we have been exceptionally lucky, almost all of us have had at least some negative past experiences in our lives. This can range from the regular “difficult stuff” of life (bad breakups, relationship struggles, work woes, money worries, and so on) through to trauma, abuse, loss and grief, serious illness or injury, and more. We carry these experiences with us and, in many cases, they can continue to harm us long after the original bad thing has passed.
In case you missed it, this post is part of a series inspired by Odder Being’s Polyamory Conversation Cards. As often as I can, I’ll pull a card at random and write a piece of content based on it. There will likely be some essays, advice pieces, personal experiences, rants, and more! You can read the whole series at the dedicated tag. And if you want to support my work and get occasional bonus content, head on over to my Patreon.
This week’s card asks:
“What do your partners need to know about anxieties or bad experiences you’ve had in the past that might influence your relationships?”
So today we’re talking negative past experiences that can impact your polyamorous relationships and how to navigate these challenges successfully.
How Negative Past Experiences Can Impact Current Relationships
We are all a product of the various life experiences we have had, beginning pretty much from birth. There is now good evidence, for example, that our attachment styles are formed in very early childhood in response to our relationships with our primary caregivers. Bad experiences in relationships, in particular – from painful breakups to abuse – can continue to impact us in future relationships.
Has your partner ever done something, even inoccuously or with good intentions, that reminded you of a bad past experience in another relationship? If so, you might be familiar with those awful feelings of your stomach dropping, your nervous system kicking into high gear, or your fight-flight-freeze-fawn impulses jumping to life.
Perhaps you reacted badly, as though you were still living through the bad past experience. Perhaps you got extremely upset or distressed, or fought with your partner. Maybe they were confused, hurt, or angry because they didn’t understand where this extreme reaction had come from.
In a less obvious but no less damaging way, negative past experiences can cause us to put up walls, refuse to make ourselves vulnerable, hold back from trusting even the most trustworthy partners, or even hesitate to form intimate relationships at all.
How This Can Look in Polyamory
In many ways, the manifestation of bad past experiences in present relationships is broadly similar whether you’re monogamous or polyamorous. However, there are particular and specific ways this can manifest in polyamory that aren’t relevant in monogamy. Most commonly, this appears in the context of your feelings about or reactions to your partner(s) having relationships with other people.
For example, past relationship traumas or attachment wounds can manifest in extreme jealousy, possessiveness, insecurity, or anxiety around your partners’ other relationships. Some people will turn these feelings outwards, attempting to control their partners or implement rigid rules in an attempt to keep themselves safe. Others will turn them inwards, convincing themselves that they are unworthy, unloveable, and that their partners are inevitably going to leave them for other people.
You might experience intense feelings such as sadness or rage, or you might feel empty or “numb”. You might experience intense feelings of fear, rejection, abandonment and so on. This can happen even if polyamory is something you genuinely want and are wholeheartedly on board with and consenting to.
…And 5 Positive Things You Can Do About It
So you’ve identified that in some way, your negative past experiences are having a detrimental impact on your current relationship(s.) In this section we’ll look at five things you can do about it.
This is not a recipe to never feel difficult feelings in polyamory again. This also isn’t a substitute for professional support in dealing with your struggles. It’s just a collecton of tools that I and my partners and friends have found helpful, in the hope that some of them might help you too.
1. Take Stock to Make Sure Patterns Aren’t Repeating
Sometimes, triggers or responses to negative past experiences are inaccurate. They are simply your mind trying to protect you and being a little over-vigilant about it (more on this in section 5 below). However, sometimes they’re also on to something real.
Take a moment, once you’ve calmed your immediate nervous system response, to take a critical look at your situation and take stock. What is actually happening? How do you feel about it?
It is possible that your current partner really is doing something similar to you that a past partner did, whether intentionally or accidentally. If so, this might require action, from talking to your partner up to leaving the relationship. It’s also possible that your feelings are revealing an unmet need in your relationships, which you can address with your partner(s) once you’ve identified it.
In other words, before you assume your reaction is irrational or doesn’t reflect your current reality, make sure that’s actually true. Trauma survivors are notoriously good at gaslighting ourselves and convincing ourselves that our valid and rational responses to present harm are simply a manifestation of our past experiences.
2. Talk to Your Partner(s) and Ask For What You Need
Good partners want to love and support you through difficulties. In safe relationships, it is vital that you have a space to tell your partners that you are struggling and ask for support.
Try to have this conversation when you’re calm, not while triggered or in the immediate aftermath. Tell your partner(s) about the negative past experiences that are coming up for you, how you are feeling, what strategies you’ve tried so far if any, and what you think you might need from them.
It’s also okay to not be sure what you need and to ask your partner(s) to help you come up with possible solutions, try things out, and figure it out as you go.
3. Go to Therapy
When it comes to dealing with trauma or bad past experiences, there is really no substitute for professional therapy. If you can possibly afford it (or live in a country with a functioning socialised mental health system!) then get yourself into therapy. Many therapists also offer sliding scale systems to help those on lower incomes to access treatment. Look for a sex-positive and polyamory-informed therapist if you can.
In addition to therapy (not instead of!) some people may find it helpful to work with a polyamorous relationship coach. Coaches are not therapists, and are not qualified to help you through trauma and mental health struggles. However, they can help you to develop skills that will improve your polyamorous relationships, teach you more about yourself, and teach you various tools you can use to manage challenges when they come up.
4. Learn to Identify Your Triggers (and Short-Circuit Them)
Chances are, if you pay attention, you will be able to identify some common themes in the specific negative past experiences that are coming up for you and the ways that they manifest in your relationship(s.) Start identifying your specific triggers, or the things that cause you to feel those intense and painful feelings associated with past trauma.
Once you understand what’s being triggered and why, you can implement strategies to bring yourself out of that place more quickly. What will work for you is deeply personal, but here are a few possibilities you might like to try:
- Giving yourself reassurance, either out loud or in your head, that you are safe and that your partner is not the person/people who harmed you (my therapist likes the phrase “that was then, and this is now”)
- Taking some deep, intentional breaths (e.g. breathing in for a count of four, holding, then breathing out for another count of four)
- Doing something physical such as dancing, running, yoga, or even just a few stretches
- Pausing to count to 10 before reacting
- Distracting yourself with reading, TV, a video game, a craft project, or any other activity you enjoy
- Getting out of your head and into your body by doing something physically pleasurable such as taking a hot bath or masturbating
By learning how to calm your nervous system from the immediate, overwhelming intensity of a triggering incident, you can better self-regulate and then address things from a healthier and calmer place.
5. Give Yourself Time and Grace
Here’s something I want you to understand: in holding on to these negative past experiences, your mind and body are trying to keep you safe. They want to prevent you from further harm and keep you from finding yourself in the same situation again.
That is amazing.
If you can, try to show grace and give thanks to the parts of you that are trying to protect you, even while reminding them that they can dial back their vigilance because you are safe now.
I find the technique of self-parenting helpful here. What would you say to an upset or distressed child who was feeling something like what you’re feeling? How would you treat them? Now offer that support, understanding, and compassion to yourself.
These things take time. Your negative past experiences were real and it’s understandable that they still impact you. But you’ve got this.
Resources
This stuff is complicated and I cannot possibly create a comprehensive guide. These are a few resources that helped me; maybe they’ll help you too.
- Love Without Emergency (I Want This But I Feel Like I’m Doing to Die) by Clementine Morrigan (there’s also a second edition)
- Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Non-Monogamy by Jessica Fern
- Dealing With Trauma Can Be a Lot Like Developing Sea Legs from Poly.Land
- The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk (this is not specifically a polyamory resource, but it is one of the best books and most validating books on trauma I’ve ever read)
If you’ve identified that baggage, trauma, or other negative past experiences are impacting your polyamorous relationships, how have you dealt with them?
This post contains affiliate links.
[Toy Review] Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibe
I don’t even know how many bullet vibrators I’ve tried at this point. They’re one of the most ubiquitous and popular sex toy models of all, and there must be thousands of variations on this theme on the market. Really good bullets, though? They’re much rarer. One such toy landed in my review queue this week, though. Let’s look at the Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibe.
What is the Vibeology Aeronaut?
The Vibeology Aeronaut is a bullet vibrator measuring 3.5″ in length and in the classic rounded-end shape. Its main body is made of ABS plastic, which is body-safe and non-porous as well as super easy to clean. The single button, located on the base, is made of silicone.
This toy is IPX7 waterproof, meaning it can be submerged in water for up to 30 minutes at a time. It is also USB rechargeable via the included magnetic cable. I got over an hour of use out of a full charge.
Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibe: Pros
Fundamentally, the Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibe is simply a damn good basic bullet vibrator. Its vibrations are surprisingly strong for its small size and low price-point, and also much more rumbly than I expected. Since plastic transmits vibrations well with minimal dampening, I can really feel them throughout my entire clit and vulva.
The shape allows for both broader stimulation with the long edge, or more targeting with the rounded end. I also appreciate this toy’s clicky, easy-to-press button and light weight.
Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibe: Cons
My only major complaint about the Vibeology Aeronaut is its single-button interface. I always prefer to be able to scroll both ways through patterns and speeds. The Aeronaut has 3 constant speeds and 7 patterns, so having to cycle through all of them is a bit annoying.
One downside that is pretty consistent with bullet vibes is the transmission of vibrations into your hand. This tends to be more noticeable with plastic toys than silicone ones, and it is pretty strong with the Aeronaut. It doesn’t bother me that much for short stints of use, but if you have pain or nerve issues in your hands it’s something to be aware of.
Verdict
If you’re looking for a good quality basic bullet with strong vibrations, particularly if you’re on a budget, the Vibeology Aeronaut is a fantastic pick. Considering its low price-point, I’m genuinely impressed at just how good this toy is.
The Aeronaut Mini Vibe retails for a super budget-friendly £21/$19.99.
Thanks to Shevibe for sending me the Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibe to test and review. All views and writing are mine, as always. Affiliate links appear in this post and using them helps to keep the blog going!
[Toy Review] The One Flicker Vibe
Following yesterday’s review of The One Wand vibrator, I’m back with the next installment in this series of toy reviews featuring new brand The One. In the UK, The One is exclusively available at Sex Toys UK. Elsewhere in the world, you can find these products at various toy retailers including Good Vibes and Babeland. Next up is The One Flicker Vibe.
What is The One Flicker Vibe?
The One Flicker Vibe is a curved toy measuring just under 10″ in length and 1.42″ in diameter at the widest point. Made of smooth body-safe silicone, it is also waterproof and USB rechargeable. A two-hour charge gives around 90 minutes of use.
The One Flicker Vibe a single-shaft vibrator with two independent motors. What makes this toy unique is its silicone “tongue” at one end, which flicks rapidly back and forth. The other end is a fairly standard insertable vibrator featuring a series of gentle ridges.
I admit I mostly requested this one for review out of curiosity. My initial reaction when I saw it was “what!? …huh.” But is it actually any good?
The One Flicker Vibe: Pros
Let’s get the most important thing out of the way: does it feel good? Surprisingly (to me at least), it does. The One Flicker Vibe provides a rapid tapping sort of sensation against the G-spot, not unlike being fingered by someone with very good manual dexterity. As someone who doesn’t like the sensation of vibrations internally, this was a pleasant change: a motorised G-spot toy I can actually use and enjoy!
So what else did I like about the One Flicker Vibe?
- The curved shape makes the toy comfortable to insert and makes it effortless to find (and keep contact with) the G-spot.
- The vibrating end has a half-decent motor. It’s not super rumbly, but it at least has some power behind it.
- The two-in-one design means that, if you decide you’re in the mood for vibrations rather than flicking or vice-versa, you can just switch motors and turn it around without needing to grab a different toy.
- It is comfortable to hold, with well-placed and easy to press buttons.
- It works just as well for clitoral stimulation. I haven’t found that the flicking motion against my clit can actually get me off, but it does feel really fucking good.
The One Flicker Vibe: Cons
The Flicker Vibe really is all about the flicker end for me. The regular vibrator end is fine, but not realistically something I’m likely to use with any kind of regularity.
There were also a few other gripes I had with this toy:
- I don’t love the two-button interface. It’s good that you can control the flicker function and the vibrations separately, but makes it a pain to scroll through all the settings (three speeds and seven patterns per motor) to go backwards or find one you liked.
- This toy is a nightmare to clean. It’s really hard to get around and behind the tongue to ensure it is completely clean. A very small brush that can get into all the crevices is probably your best bet.
- It’s a little on the heavy side.
Also, I’m really annoyed that the copy on the box states you can use this toy for the “P-spot”, AKA the prostate. The Flicker Vibe does not have a flared base and therefore absolutely should not be used anally.
Verdict
This toy offers quite a specific sensation, which is great if you enjoy it but pretty useless if you don’t. (Well, not completely useless. You can still use the vibrating end. But there are cheaper and better basic vibrators on the market if that’s what you’re looking for.)
If you want a toy that somewhat mimics the sensation of fingers making a “come hither” motion inside you (and/or tapping against your clit), you’ll probably enjoy this one. I certainly did.
The Flicker Vibe retails for £68.36 at Sex Toys UK and $117.95 at Babeland and Good Vibes.
Thanks to Sex Toys UK for sending me this product to review. All views and writing are, as always, mine. If you shop through my affiliate links I make a small commission at no additional cost to you.
[Toy Review] The One Wand
The One is a new brand of sex toys exclusively stocked in the UK at sextoys.co.uk. (Readers elsewhere in the world can find the products in a number of stockists including Babeland and Good Vibes!) I received a few items from the collection to try out, so I’m going to be telling you all about them over the next few weeks. First up: The One Wand.
What is The One Wand?
The One Wand is a cordless wand vibrator measuring 9″ in total length. The head measures 1.7″ across at the widest point, and the neck is flexible. It is made of body-safe silicone and is waterproof, though the specific IPX rating is not listed.
The One Wand is rechargeable, with a battery life of around 90 minutes for a two hour charging time.
I really like cordless wand vibrators; they’re a more versatile alternative to their mains-powered counterparts. You do usually lose at least a bit of power in exchange for not having to plug them in, but that can be a worthwhile trade-off in some cases.
Let’s see how this one stacked up, shall we?
The One Wand: Pros
Before (spoiler alert) I start complaining about this toy’s complete inability to make me cum, let’s look at the good things I can say about it!
- The silicone is soft, smooth, and a really pretty shade of purple.
- The motor is located in the head. This means that the vibrations are strongest in the part of the toy that will actually go on your body. It also means that the transmission of vibrations through the handle is minimal.
- It’s actually quiet. So many toys claim to be quiet, but this one genuinely is.
- The curved handle is comfortable to hold and fits naturally into my hand.
- When I hold the toy in the most natural position to press it against my vulva, the buttons are perfectly located to reach and push them with no additional effort.
- It has a three-button interface, allowing you to scroll through the settings (3 speeds and 7 patterns) both ways. The third button, in the middle, is the on/off switch.
The One Wand: Cons
The marketing copy describes this as “the One – and only – Wand you will ever need.” Which is a cute play on the toy’s and the brand’s name, but also… wildly untrue. When I look for a vibrator, the very first thing I look for is “will it get me off?” This one, sadly, falls at the first hurdle.
The One Wand’s motor leaves a lot to be desired. The vibrations are weak, even on the highest setting, and so buzzy that my clit starts going numb after less than a minute. I quickly realised that there was absolutely no way The One Wand was ever going to give me an orgasm. I pushed through and persevered, but it just isn’t going to happen.
The neck is also really too flexible. This means it is hard to get any significant pressure (an even bigger downside when the vibrations are so lacklustre.)
Verdict
Unfortunately I was extremely underwhelmed by this one. If you like low-level and buzzy vibrations, sure, you might get on okay with this. But if you like any significant level of power or rumbles, don’t bother.
The One Wand retails for £46.86 at Sex Toys UK and £79.95 at Good Vibes and Babeland at the time of writing, which is far too expensive for a toy of this quality. Skip it, and get an actually good cordless wand instead.
Thanks to Sex Toys UK for sending me this product to review. All views, as always, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and using them supports my work at no additional cost to you.
[Toy Review] Godemiche Dual Texture Clit Grinder Collection
Godemiche started my clit grinder toy obsession way back when they released their very first Grind Rings, and have continued to feed it with the addition of numerous new (excellent!) products to their range. The latest is their dual texture grinders, combining two different textures into one toy.
I firmly believe that grinding (also known as humping) is a deeply underrated sex act for anyone with a clitoris. Toys like this are on a mission to let everyone know just how awesome it can be, and offer a bunch of ways to make it even more so.
Let’s dive in.
Godemiche Dual Texture Clit Grinder: Variations
Within Godemiche’s dual texture clit grinder collection, there are numerous variations for you to choose from. Let’s break them down a bit.
Grind Ring, Grind Pad or Vibe Pad?
There are three different types of Godemiche dual texture clit grinders to choose from:
- Grind Rings have a hole for a penis or dildo to fit through, making them ideal for use during partnered penetrative sex
- Grind Pads don’t have the hole but instead come with straps so that you can attach them to a surface such as a piece of furniture, toy mount, or partner’s leg
- Vibe Pads are shaped like Grind Pads and also come with straps, but have a space in the back to add a bullet vibrator
The textures are the same on all three toys, but which one you choose will depend how you want to use it. Personally, the Grind Pads are the ones I reach for the most often.
High Grind or Low Grind?
This refers to how raised the textured portion of the toy is. The key to choosing high grind or low grind is to understand how far your clitoris is from your vaginal opening. If that gap is quite small, a low grind will be suitable for you. If it’s bigger, then a high grind will suit you better.
Personally, I can use and enjoy both but I find the high grinders more satisfying and less physical effort to use.
Soft or Firm?
The Grind Pads and Vibe Pads are available in two choices of firmness level: soft or firm. I selected two “soft” toys and one “firm” toy to allow me to try both.
This choice is all about how much intensity you like. To understand your preferences here, think about other toys you’ve used, or how you masturbate. Do you tend to press toys firmly against your vulva or apply a lot of pressure with your hand? If so, choose a firmer toy. If you use a softer or lighter touch, on the other hand, choose the soft option.
I prefer the firmer toys overall, as I tend to like a higher level of pressure.
Other Customisation Options
You can also choose the exact colour or colour mix for your grinder from a vast array of options, select the colour of your straps (I always choose the rainbow ones, anyone surprised?), and add a lube if you like. Every Vibe Pad comes with a Rocks Off RO-80 7-speed bullet vibrator.
The Dual Textures
There are currently three dual textures available in this range, and I received one of each to try out.
Bubbles & Suckers
This combines the Bubbles texture from the original range with the brand-new Suckers texture. The suckers are inspired by tentacles and similar to one of the textures in the Offbeat masturbator range.
As you grind against this one, the suckers provide a gentle tugging, almost kissing sensation. The suckers are spaced out in a V shape, providing a spread of sensation across the entire vulva. I particularly love the three suckers in the middle, which are perfectly positioned to hit my clit every time I move over it.
In my experience at least, this one provides the gentlest sensation of the three. I requested it in soft and in hindsight, I think I should probably have gone for firm. I enjoy it, but it’s sometimes not quite… enough?
Ridges and Bumps
This one combines the Ridges (one of my all-time faves from Godemiche’s clit grinder textures!) with lots of tiny little bumps between the ridges.
You get the constant back-and-forth rubbing sensation of the ridges, combined with the additional all-over stimulation of the bumps. My initial instinct with this one was to grind against it hard, but actually I find that a little less pressure works best here. Easing off the pressure a little bit means that I feel the bumps much more.
Again, I requested this one in soft and I think firm might have been the preferable option. It’s a great combination of textures, but I really wanted to feel the bumps a little more than I did. It might also help if they were just very slightly larger.
Bubbles and Bumps
I’ve saved the best for last here. This is my favourite dual texture of the three, and has quickly become one of my most-used grinders. (I recently had a major sort-out of my toy collection and realised I own more than 20 grinders, so this is high praise!)
With this one, you get the bouncy sensation of the large bubbles, with the addition of dozens of little raised bumps flicking across your vulva and clit every time you move. Depending on how much pressure I apply against it, I can get either a teasing flicker or a hard, consistent rubbing sensation.
The firm option I chose makes this one, I think. The little bit of extra firmness really allows the bumps to come into their own.
Verdict
Anyone surprised to hear Godemiche have knocked it out of the park once again? These dual texture toys are a fantastic addition to the clit grinder range and offer yet another array of interesting, unusual, and incredibly pleasurable sensations to explore.
All Godemiche clit grinders are made from body-safe silicone. Highly textured grinders can be a bit of a pain to clean, so I recommend using the boiling method to ensure they’re properly sterilised.
Dual texture Grind Ring prices start from £34.99, dual texture Grind Pads from £44.99, and dual texture Vibe Pads from £54.99. Adding customisations and extras alters the final price you will pay.
Thanks to Godemiche for sending me these products to review. All views are, as always, mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.
[Lube Review] Vibeology Blend Hybrid Lube
The vast majority of the lubricants I use, test, and recommend are water-based. This is because water-based lube goes with everything. However, I do enjoy trying different things sometimes! I recently reviewed Vibeology’s Pure Organic Water Based Lube, which I loved. Along with it, I also received a bottle of their Blend Hybrid Lube.
Let’s find out if it’s as good as its water-based counterpart.
What is Hybrid Lube and What Are Its Benefits?
Hybrid lube is, essentially, a combinated of water-based and silicone-based. In some situations and for some users, hybrid lubes can offer the best of both worlds. You get the natural feel of a water-based product, coupled with the ultra-smooth and long-lasting properties of silicone lube. They can also be easier to clean up than pure silicone lubes (though there’s still the risk of staining your sheets if you spill it, so consider putting a towel down.)
Some people also find that hybrid lube is less likely to damage silicone sex toys. I still recommend using caution and doing a patch test first, though, as this is not an exact science.
Hybrid lubes (or pure silicone lubes) can be a good choice if you’re having sex in water. This is because the silicone will not wash away anywhere near as quickly and easily as a water-based product would.
Vibeology Blend Hybrid Lube: What’s In It?
The most important element of any lubricant is its ingredients list. Let’s have a look at what’s in Vibeology Blend:
- Purified water
- Cyclopentasiloxane: A clear and odourless lightweight silicone. Some studies have linked this substance to cancers and reproductive harm in animal studies. This gives me pause, though two studies have shown that very little of the chemical penetrates the skin in humans, negating its possible endocrine-disrupting side effects. In general, it is considered safe for cosmetic use, though there is not an absolute consensus on this.
- Dimethicone: This silicone-based polymer is commonly used in skincare products. It helps to condition and protect the skin by forming a barrier that reduces water loss. It has a low rate of absorption into the skin and experts believe it is safe for human use. In the US, it has been approved by the FDA.
- Dimethiconol: Another silicone-based liquid polymer that is used as a skin conditioner and to improve viscosity in silicone-based products. As it is a large molecule, it does not penetrate the skin and is likely a safe ingredient.
- PEG-8 Dimethicone: A synthetic emollient that can lock in moisture and help to keep skin hydrated. It is generally safe.
- Propanediol: I did a deep dive into this one for my Wicked Simply Aqua review. Executive summary: various sources say that it is an alternative to propylene glycol. Some say it is safer than propylene glycol, others say it has basically the same effects in the body. The key difference is that it is derived from corn and its production is less environmentally damaging. These ingredients raise osmolality, which can cause irritation. Some sources also link them to an increased risk of yeast infections and UTIs.
- Hydroxyethyl Cellulose: A plant-derived gelling and thickening agent thought to be safe and not to hinder sperm motility.
- Sodium Benzoate: A food-grade preservative that is likely harmless in small quantities.
- Potassium Sorbate: Another food-safe preservative that is fine in low concentrations.
- Disodium EDTA: This is another one I’ve looked into for a past post. It is a stabilising agent that numerous sources sources mark as an ingredient of concern. It is also a penetration enhancer, which means it facilitates the absorption of various compounds through mucus membrances (such as the vagina or anus,) and can cause irritation.
- Citric Acid: Yet another preservative, also likely harmless in small quantities.
I don’t love this.
I was really hopeful about this lube after how much I loved Vibeology Blend. However, the potential issues associated with disodium EDTA and propanediol concern me a lot, particularly when it comes to any kind of internal use.
There’s nothing here that is an immediate and unqualified “EXTREMELY TOXIC, RUN AWAY” red flag, but my vulva is prone to sensitivity and easy irritation, so I tend to be very cautious about my lube ingredients.
Vibeology Blend Hybrid Lube is vegan and cruelty-free.
Performance and Sensory Profile
I’m disappointed about those couple of worrying ingredients, because I actually really love the feel and usability of Vibeology Blend. It flows well thanks to its very thin consistency, spreads easily, and lasts really well. You really only need a tiny bit at a time.
This lube feels smooth and non-sticky on my skin. I do find that it leaves a slight residue behind after use, but it’s mostly just that my skin feels extra smooth and slippery until I’ve washed it off.
Blend Hybrid Lube has a very mild, slightly tangy scent and a similar taste. It’s unobtrustive to use, and works with rather than against my body’s natural lubrication.
Clean-up is more of a hassle than it is with water-based lubes, but easier than it is with pure silicone. With warm water and soap, this lube washes off my body quickly and easily. (Don’t spill it all over your desk and keyboard when you’re writing a review, though. Ask me how I know.)
Verdict
Great in-use performance and sensory profile, but I cannot get past those questionable ingredients enough to recommend this one. As always, risk profiles are personal and yours may be different from mine. If you’re happy with the risk profile of the ingredients I’ve highlighted, this is a versatile and useable lube. Personally, though, I’m unlikely to use it again.
If you’re looking for an alternative hybride lube without propanediol or EDTA, check out Sliquid’s Silk Hybrid or their Organics Aloe-Based Hybrid.
Vibeology Blend Hybrid Lube retails for $31/£25 for 8 fl oz and $21/£17 for 4 fl oz.
Thanks to Shevibe for sending me this product to test and review! All views, as always, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.
Buying Guide: The Best Vibrating Butt Plugs for Anal August 2024
We’re still in Anal August, just about! But, of course, any time of year is a great time to experiment with anal play if you’re interested or curious. So, following on from my round-ups of the best butt plugs and the best anal beads, I’m bringing you my final Anal August buying guide. Today we’re looking at the best vibrating butt plugs currently on the market.
To learn more about butt plugs more generally, as well as how to choose a safe and quality one, refer back to my best butt plugs roundup linked in the paragraph above. In it, I share what makes a butt plug safe or unsafe, how to use them safely and pleasurably, and some things to look out for when shopping.
In a very small nutshell, a butt plug must always:
- Have a flared base, large handle, or something similar to stop it slipping all the way inside you
- Be made of a body-safe and non-porous material such as silicone, glass, or stainless steel
About This List
None of my buying guides are, or pretend to be, comprehensive lists of all the great options available. There are thousands of these products on the market of varying quality. I am simply here to guide you towards some of the possible options that might suit you.
Everything listed here is from a manufacturer/retailer I trust, and links are affiliate links. This means that if you click on the links and make a purchase, I earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. I do not work for or claim to represent any of these companies, and any purchase you make is a contract with them and not with me.
Everything I recommend here is made of a body-safe material and is, to the best of my knowledge, safe for normal use. Where possible, I have tried to provide options at a range of price points. Products in lists are ordered from the cheapest to the most expensive.
Let’s dive in.
Best Vibrating Silicone Butt Plugs
A basic vibrating butt plug made of silicone is a great option if you are exploring these toys for the first time. There are countless options available, but these are a few I’d suggest starting with:
- Lovehoney Mon Ami Silicone Vibrating Butt Plug (£34.99 from Lovehoney UK, $44.99 from Lovehoney US)
- Gender X Anybody’s Plug Waterproof Silicone Vibrating Butt Plug (£46/$59 from Shevibe)
- B-Vibe Vibrating Snug Plug (£55/$70 for size 3 from Shevibe)
Best Remote Control Butt Plugs
One of the downsides of vibrating butt plugs with controls on the toy is that it can be difficult to change the settings when it’s inside you. You can sidestep that problem with remote control plugs like these:
- Hot Octopuss PleX with Flex Vibrating Butt Plug (£89.95/$99.95 from Hot Octopuss)
- Nexus Ace Remote Control Vibrating Butt Plug (£88/$115 from Shevibe)
- B-Vibe Trio Plug (£125/$155 from Shevibe, $145 from B-Vibe)
Best App Control Butt Plugs
Enjoy using remote control toys? Step it up a notch with app-controlled toys. These are also a great option if you want to play with a partner long-distance. These are some of the very best vibrating butt plugs with app control options in my opinion.
- Lovense Hush 2 App Controlled Vibrating Butt Plug (£100/$130 for medium size from Shevibe)
- We-Vibe Ditto+ (£109.99 from Lovehoney UK, $129 from Lovehoney US)
- Kiiroo Omibod Lumen (£120/$155 from Shevibe)
Best Rimming Butt Plugs
This section is going to be a bit different as I don’t have options from multiple manufacturers for you here. Rimming plugs were invented and pioneered by B-Vibe, and they are still pretty much the only company making them! In short, rimming plugs utilise rotating beads in the neck to mimic the sensation of being rimmed (that’s when someone uses their tongue on your butt. Many people find it incredibly erotic.)
Check out B-Vibe’s complete rimming butt plug range, which come in sizes from petite to extra large and range in price from $159.99 to $174.99.
Best Vibrating Glass and Metal Butt Plugs
There are many glass and metal butt plugs on the market, but far fewer that vibrate. As such, I’ve combined them into one for this post. If you’re in the mood for something rigid, glass and metal are great options. They’re also great for temperature play as they conduct heat well. And, since they don’t dampen the vibrations in the same way that silicone does, they can be seriously intense.
- Evolved Rechargeable Vibrating Butt Plug (£51/$65 from Shevibe)
- Rockin’ Metal Vibrating Anal Plug ($69.98 from Good Vibes and Babeland)
- Gläs Rechargeable Remote Glass Butt Plug ($99.99 from Good Vibes and Babeland)
Best Vibrating Butt Plugs Under £25/$30
You don’t need to spend a fortune to get safe and quality toys! In my opinion, these are some of the best vibrating butt plugs available for those on a budget.
- Lovehoney Butt Tingler 10 Function Vibrating Butt Plug (£22.99 from Lovehoney UK, $26.99 from Lovehoney US)
- Rocks Off 7 Function Ass Berry (£19.99 from Lovehoney UK, $29.99 from Lovehoney US)
- ROMP Bass Silicone Vibrating Butt Plug (£29.99 from Lovehoney UK, $29.99 from Lovehoney US)
I hope this list of some of the best vibrating butt plugs has been helpful! Please let me know if you have any questions or if there’s a particular buying guide you want me to do next.
[Toy Review] Tantaly Candice 2.0 Sex Doll
Sometimes, I step back and realise how actually bonkers my job is. One of those moments was when a comically enormous parcel arrived on my doorstep last week. I don’t think I will ever forget the expression on my nesting partner’s face when I explained “it’s a sex doll!” To be exact, it was the Tantaly Candice 2.0 sex doll.
I have wanted to review a sex doll for a very long time, so thank you to Tantaly for giving me the opportunity.
I’ll say this for Tantaly: despite the conspicuous nature of the box’s size, the packaging was completely discreet. There was nothing on the box or external packaging to indicate what was inside. All Tantaly dolls now also come with a black PVC and polyester zip-up bag. This makes it easier to carry the doll around (no easy task, as we’ll address below!) and also offers a handy storage solution.
Tantaly Candice 2.0 Upgrades
The Tantaly Candice was a hugely popular sex doll, and the Candice 2.0 is an updated and revised version. (All Tantaly’s sex dolls have names, I’m not sure who chooses them or how!)
The Candice 2.0 is different from the Candice original in two key ways. The first upgrade “improved the appearance of the labia and skin texture, realistically replicating the shape of the human pubic area”, and the second upgrade introduced the hilariously-named “Tantabosom”, a unique gel formula which claims to make the doll’s breasts softer and more lifelike.
Tantaly also fixed some issues customers identified in this iteration of the Candice doll. These included repositioning the anus to reduce tearing during use and transporation, enhancing the feel and appearance of the butt with (you guessed it) “Tantabutt”, and making the vaginal tunnel slightly wider.
Sex Doll Look & Feel
The Candice is a torso sex doll weighing 42lb (or around 19kg.) That doesn’t sound all that huge, right? Trust me, when you’re lugging it up the stairs in its case, it feels huge. Yes, this doll is seriously heavy, and it’s not even close to the largest in Tantaly’s range. Of course, the size and weight is part of the appeal of sex dolls to some users as it makes them more lifelike. Just be ready for the physical task of moving it. Or have a supportive partner/roommate who can help you.
Initially, I was sceptical about the claim that this doll is “life size”, so I got the measuring tape out. The Tantaly Candice measures around 22″ in length from the vulva to the base of the neck. This is a pretty realistic size for a short-ish woman (I measured the same area on my 5’5″ frame for comparison and it was around 25″.) So yes, it actually is a petite lifesize!
Please note that, though pictured wearing lingerie, your sex doll does not come with any clothing. You can, of course, dress it up in anything you like yourself. On the product page, Tantaly notes that TPE dolls can stain easily so it is best to avoid dark fabrics or anything with dyes that might run.
The Tantaly Candice 2.0 is clearly designed to adhere to a very specific and normative idea of female beauty. It has a narrow waist, flat stomach, large breasts, and a vulva that looks straight out of mainstream porn. However, with that said, I am glad that it does not have the cartoonishly unrealistic proportions of some sex dolls out there. (No-one has a 20″ waist and J-cup breasts naturally. They just don’t.)
I’ve said before that I find sex dolls with faces a little creepy in an “uncanny valley” sort of way, but this torso-only design avoids that problem. Mr C&K mentioned that the entire concept felt a little too “disembodied” for him in a way that he found really offputting. There’s no objective answer here – it’s totally a matter of preference.
The Tantaly Candice is ultra soft to the touch. Thankfully, it also doesn’t have that weird smell that some TPE sex toys do. I was left with some slight residue on my hands from the powdered packaging, so I recommend giving it a really good wash before you actually use it for the first time. Interestingly, the material doesn’t really conduct much heat, so it tends to be quite cool to the touch even in a very warm room.
Inside, I was also impressed at how realistic the vagina and butt feel. They feature incredibly detailed layers of texturing internally. The vagina even has a G-spot! And if a boob person, you’ll definitely enjoy the lifelike breasts and semi-realistic nipples.
Is the Tantaly Candice 2.0 Sex Doll Body Safe?
This doll is made from thermoplastic elastomer, or TPE. TPE is a type of plastic that has been refined and treated to turn it into a flexible, rubber-like material. In the world of sex toys, TPE is often used as a cheaper alternative to silicone.
So is TPE body-safe?
Crucially (and giving it an advantage over many other common sex toy materials such as jelly), TPE does not typically contain phthalates. These common plasticisers are endocrine disrupters and possibly carcinogenic. In this way, TPE is unlikely to be harmful.
However, a downside of TPE is that it is a porous material. This means that it has microscopic holes which can harbour bacteria, bodily fluids, and more.
I’m a lot less critical of TPE use in penis toys (such as strokers and, yes, sex dolls) than I am of its use in insertable toys, such as dildos and butt plugs. This is because the way that penis toys are used means that the risk of harm and infection is far lower than with insertables.
Ultimately, my recommendation regarding TPE sex dolls? You’re probably fine as long as you follow some basic hygiene precautions. However, you should not share the doll (or if you must, use a condom) because doing so significantly increases the risk of both infection and STI transmission. You should also care for your doll according to the manufacturer’s instructions and check it regularly for tears, cracks, mold, and material degredation.
Care and Cleaning of Your Sex Doll
Tantaly recommends storing your sex doll inside the protective styrofoam packaging it arrives in. This protects it from dust and the elements as well as helping it to retain its shape for longer. They also recommend oiling it 3-4 times per year depending on usage, and applying corn starch if it is going to be in storage for a long period.
It’s important to thoroughly clean your sex doll promptly after use. There’s a full guide here on how to clean, store, and care for your doll. In short though, after each use:
- Thoroughly wash the areas of the doll that you have used (an enema kit is an easy way to clean the inside of your doll) with warm water and a gentle antibacterial soap.
- Dry the doll as thoroughly as you can using a soft, clean cloth.
- Use a drying stick, tampon, or similar to dry out the internal parts. It’s really important not to leave these wet as this can be a breeding ground for bacteria.
You can significantly extend the lifespan of your doll, and keep things more hygienic, by using a condom. Cleanup is definitely a bit of a faff, which is always going to be a downside to sex dolls.
How long will your doll last? That depends on a number of factors so it’s hard to say. Some users in Tantaly’s on-site reviews say they have had their doll for several years and it’s still in good condition.
9 Things to Do With a Sex Doll (Besides the Obvious)
The obvious basic use for a sex doll is, well, to have sex with it. And if you’re buying a doll for that purpose, the Tantaly Candice is a great choice. But beyond that, what are some fun things you can do with a sex doll like this one? To start you off, I’ve compiled a list of 9 options. As always, take the ones that resonate with you and leave the ones that don’t!
- Play out cuckolding or cuckqueaning kinks. In short, this is where someone is “made” to watch their partner have sex with someone else. It is often, but not always, tied in with D/s dynamics and humiliation kinks.
- Experiment with exhibitionism and voyeurism. Into the fantasy of watching or being watched during sex? You can fuck the doll while your partner watches… or put the doll in the corner and have it “watch” you masturbate or have sex.
- Practice techniques. Want to improve your cunnilingus, fingering, or strap-on sex skills? Practicing on a doll isn’t perfect because it can’t give you feedback, but it can be a useful way to nail those physical skills.
- Try out group sex fantasies without the risk. Group sex strikes a chord with many people as a fantasy, but not everyone can or wants to make it a reality. Using a sex doll allows you to play out some aspects of your group sex fantasies without the emotional risk that doing so for real can entail.
- Make some sexy content. Many adult content creators use sex dolls to shoot images or videos. If you’re a creator, a sex doll can be a great addition to your repertoire. If not, you can still enjoy making some sexy content for your partner(s) or even just for yourself.
- Tie it up. I’ve been really getting into bondage and shibari as a Top in the last few months or so. My immediate thought when I opened my Tantaly Candice sex doll was that it would be an amazing practice bottom for when I don’t have a human partner available. The weight does make this tricky, though.
- Spank it. I’d be hesitant to suggest using impact toys on a TPE sex doll as they could damage the material. A good old fashioned hand spanking, though? Have at it.
- Dress it up. If you’re into lingerie, latex, corsetry, or any other type of sexy clothing, your sex doll can be the perfect model for trying out different looks.
- Have long-distance sex. If you and your partner are apart, activities like phone sex, cyber sex and sexting are great ways to maintain a sexual connection. App-controlled toys were created for just this purpose! Another option, though, is to use a doll. Slip into a hot fantasy with your lover by voice or text, and use the doll to act out the things you’re talking about doing and bring the fantasy to life.
Verdict
I was initially unsure what I was going to do with this product, once I’d written up this review. Not being in possession of a factory-installed penis, I am not exactly the target market. However, I’m glad I own it and I suspect it will be getting utilised in several of the ways listed in the above section.
The Tantaly Candice is a well-designed and well-made torso doll with impressive attention to detail, particularly in this latest iteration. If you’re in the market for a realistic (but faceless) sex doll, and the weight, maintenance, and storage requirements don’t bother you, the Tantaly Candice is a great choice.
The Tantaly Candice torso sex doll retails for $499.
Thanks to Tantaly for kindly sending me this product and sponsoring this review. All views and writing, as always, are mine. Product images courtesy of Tantaly.
[Toy Review] Pleasure Engine Fluffer Vibrating Makeup Brush
You know how some images stay with you and become a part of your erotic imagination? Years ago, I remember seeing a Dominant using a makeup brush to tease their partner’s clit at a play party. I found the entire thing unbearably sexy and have had countless fantasies about having something similar done to me. Turns out a lot of people have had the same idea! An ex partner once tried this on me with a small paintbrush (ouch, poke-y, no) but I did eventually buy a new large, soft makeup brush solely for this purpose. The Pleasure Engine Fluffer is a sex toy that takes this one step further. It is, essentially, a vibrating makeup brush (or a makeup brush vibrator, if you prefer!)
Pleasure Engine Fluffer Vibrating Makeup Brush
The Pleasure Engine Fluffer is a vibrating makeup brush measuring around 6″ in length. The handle is made of ABS plastic. The bristles are made of… well, I don’t know. It doesn’t say. Makeup brushes are usually made from synthetic fibres such as nylon or polyester, so I assume the same is probably true here. However, I don’t know for sure. This means I also can’t tell you with any certainty how porous or not this material is.
In terms of cleaning, the instructions say to wash the bristles with water and gentle antibacterial soap. I did this, and it still felt soft afterwards and did not seem to hang on to any odours. However, because I can’t tell you for sure that it’s non-porous, I recommend against sharing this toy unless you have negotiated fluid exchange and this falls within your acceptable risk parameters.
This toy is splashproof rather than waterproof, so don’t use it in the bath or shower.
What I Liked About the Fluffer
I had high hopes for the Fluffer and I’m happy to say that overall I really, really liked it! Here are a few of the main things I liked about this product.
- The bristles are super soft – soft enough even to brush directly over my very sensitive clit.
- It just… feels really fucking good. The gentle tickle of the bristles combined with the vibrations is heavenly. I should note that I haven’t been able to orgasm with this toy, because the stimulation is just too gentle. For once, though, I’m not seeing that as a significant downside. In fact, this toy perfectly plays into my teasing kink. It creates exactly the kind of frustration I enjoy. And, of course, I can switch to a more intense toy when I’m ready to get off.
- Speaking of which, if you’re using the Fluffer and find you want a little more intensity, you can just turn it around and use the handle part directly against your clit. I think this is probably incidental rather than intentional but in this way, it’s kinda like two vibrators in one.
- It’s USB rechargeable without a cable! Simply pop the top off and use the inbuilt USB connector to attach it to a power source. It charges quickly in around 40 minutes, and I’ve had over an hour of use out of a full charge.
- It’s super discreet and genuinely looks like the thing it’s disguised as. Fun fact: some beauty experts like vibrating brushes for actually applying makeup, so this is pretty indistinguishable from one of those. (Don’t use the same brush for your foundation that you use for your genitals, though, I beg you.) I don’t really care if my sex toys look like sex toys (I think that ship has long sailed) but plenty of people need or prefer discretion for all sorts of reasons, and toys that look like other things are great options for those folks.
- At just $26/£21, it’s super affordable.
Anything I Didn’t Like?
Apart from the unclear material labelling re. the bristles, the main thing I dislike about this toy is that the vibrations are pretty weak and quite buzzy. As I mentioned above, I haven’t been able to actually orgasm with it.
I also find that a lot of the vibrations are transmitted through the handle. This means that my hand ends up getting buzzed a lot during use. It’s not a massive problem, but it’s definitely noticeable.
The one-button interface is, as always, kind of annoying. But I can’t complain too much with a toy at this price-point.
Fluffer Vibrating Makeup Brush: Verdict
This is a really fun little toy that I like a lot! Even though it’s not particularly powerful, it still feels amazing and it really hits on a very specific kink button for me.
The Pleasure Engine Fluffer retails for £21/$26 at Shevibe.
Thanks to Shevibe for sending me the Pleasure Engine Fluffer to review! All views are, as always, mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.