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Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #22: Penis Sleeve

With only three days to go, we’re definitely into the home stretch of this adventure now! In case you’re brand new here (hi, welcome!) I’m currently reviewing Lovehoney’s “Best Sex of Your Life” adult advent calendar, a set aimed at couples which offers a sex toy, kinky implement, or other item to improve your sex life each day.

So what’s behind Door #22?

Door #22: Penis Sleeve

Lovehoney textured penis sleeve

I’ve had a wide range of feelings about the items in this advent calendar, ranging from very positive to “ugh, seriously?” But today is the first one that has genuinely, seriously annoyed me! Let’s take a look at this stretchy penis sleeve and find out why I’m going “aaaaahhhhhh no!”

  • Material: A jelly-like “soft plastic”, possibly TPE.
  • Colour: Clear.
  • Body safe? No. More on why below.
  • Power: N/A.
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 4″ total length, very stretchy.
  • Lube compatible: Should work with any kind of lube.
  • Cleaning: You really can’t clean this material. Gentle soap and warm water will clean surface dirt but since it’s porous, it’ll never be entirely clean again.
Lovehoney textured penis extender

The basic idea of a penis sleeve like this is that you stretch it over your penis before penetrative sex. The bumps and nodules supposedly offer additional stimulation to the receptive partner, while helping the wearer to “last longer”, presumably by reducing the sensations they can feel.

Setting aside all the problems with the ubiquitous idea that a penis owner’s job is to “last” as long as possible during sex, the premise of this toy pisses me off. Sure, wearing a penis sleeve might mean you don’t come as quickly (or at all, until you take it off). Why? Because you can’t fucking feel anything!

I also seriously question how much these little jelly bumps and ridges are going to do for the person being penetrated. They’re not really pronounced enough to have the effect of, say, a highly textured dildo. I suspect the effect, for most people, will be little more than that of one of those “ribbed for her pleasure” condoms (i.e. basically nothing.)

Then we get into the safety issue. The website and packaging insists this penis sleeve doesn’t contain phthalates, so let’s take that at face value. But phthalates aren’t the only reason to be wary of jelly-like, “soft plastic” and TPE/TPR sex toys. According to toxic toy expert Dangerous Lilly, these materials are often softened with mineral oils and can contain other harmful chemicals besides phthalates. The material is also unstable and will begin to break down after a few months. (That myth about silicone toys melting together in storage? They won’t, but these mystery soft plastic toys likely will!)

Lovehoney penis sleeve on Godemiche Ambit silicone dildo
Feat. the Godemiche Ambit in a limited-edition Valentine’s Day design

This material is also extremely porous. I have mixed feelings about porous materials for external toys (TL;dr: probably okay for a few uses, but replace them often) but I NEVER recommend using them internally. Just from handling this penis sleeve, taking photos, and leaving it out on my desk overnight, it’s started to dull and get cloudy with lint, house dust, and the oils from my skin. You will NEVER get this thing clean, and it will harbour bacteria that could potentially give you a nasty infection. If you absolutely must use it for sex, please use it once and then throw it in the trash where it belongs.

Bottom line: I actually can’t tell you how it feels, because my partner and I both refuse to put this contraption anywhere near our genitals. Steer clear. I cannot stress enough how much I hate it. The fact that it’s included in a set that is fundamentally marketed at beginners, who may not know any better (because we don’t exactly get taught about toy safety in sex education), just makes it worse.

If you want to get your own Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar, they retail for £120. You can also get 10% off this or anything else you want to order at Lovehoney by using my code “coffkink10” at checkout.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #21: Massager

Well, we’ve reached the end of week three in my quest to review every item in the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” advent calendar. It’s been a mixed bag, with some hits and a few misses… so what’s behind Door #21?

Door #21: Massager

Lovehoney massager from sex toy advent calendar

The 21st door contains a star-shaped plastic massager, presumably designed to be used with the massage oil from two days ago (the ordering here is a little weird. I’d have put them on consecutive days, but okay). It’s red with silver glitter, tying in with the festive theme of this whole set.

The massager measures 6″ across from point to opposite point, and each arm is around 2″ in length. It’s very light, and the shape makes it easy and comfortable to hold. If you enjoy giving massages but find that your hands or wrists get tired, a massager like this can help. You can use all five points at once for an all-over massage, or tilt it and use one end to focus on a smaller area.

This one is a surprising winner for me. It’s sitting on my desk at the moment and I’ve found myself reaching for it to get the knots out of my temperamental neck and shoulders and relieve my I-spend-too-long-sitting-at-a-computer upper back pain. The rigidity allows you to get deeply into those sore muscles. With this thing, I can get the kind of deep tissue massage that is sort of painful but in a really good way.

Lovehoney massager for couples review

Exchanging massages can be a lovely way to connect physically with your partner, whether or not they lead to sex. Massage can also be a great way to show love to someone whose love language is physical touch.

The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar retails for £120 and contains around £370 worth of products. You can get 10% off this product or any other Lovehoney order if you use my code “coffkink10” at checkout.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #20: G-Spot Dildo

We’re down to the last few days!

Hello, if you’re just catching up, I’m reviewing the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” advent calendar, one door at a time. This kit is aimed at couples and assumes a cisgender, heterosexual dynamic (though many of the items are unisex and will work for anyone).

Let’s take a look behind Door #20…

Door #20: G-Spot Dildo

Black silicone dildo, G-spot dildo from Lovehoney

Behind today’s door is a mini G-spot dildo. I’ll start, as usual, with a rundown of the basic stats:

  • Material: Silicone.
  • Colour: Black.
  • Body safe? Yes. Silicone is body-safe and non-porous.
  • Power: No motor, but pairs with a bullet vibe if you wish.
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 5.5″ total length, 5″ insertable, 1.2″ in diameter at the widest point.
  • Lube compatible: Water-based or oil-based lubes will work fine.
  • Cleaning: Boiling or a 10% bleach solution will clean it completely.

This dildo has a hole in the base where you can insert a bullet vibe. This means it is very flexible to about halfway up the shaft, after which the silicone becomes firmer.

Base of the Lovehoney G-spot dildo which you can use with a bullet vibrator

You can use your G-spot dildo with the bullet that came in Door #1, or any suitably sized bullet vibe in your collection. I found it worked well with the Blush Nocturnal or We-Vibe Tango X!

Rabbit cock ring with black G-spot dildo
I also teamed it with the rabbit cock ring from a few days ago, just for fun!

The very gentle curve and bulbed head offer comfortable insertion and G-spot targeting. Though this toy is billed as a G-spot dildo, you could also use it as an anal dildo. The flared base makes it safe and, if you have a prostate, the curved tip is ideal for prostate stimulation.

Small silicone dildo for G-spot

Size lovers may not find this dildo large enough to satisfy. But if you’re new to insertable toys, want something you can use for warm-up, or just prefer smaller or slimmer toys, you can’t go wrong with this one.

The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar is a limited edition product. It retails for £120 but contains around £370 worth of products. You can also get 10% off any Lovehoney order when you use my code “coffkink10” at checkout.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #19: Vanilla Massage Oil

It’s Day 19 of my series on the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” advent calendar, where I’m reviewing the contents one day at a time. Check out the whole series if you haven’t already.

Meanwhile, let’s open up Door #19.

Door #19: Vanilla Massage Oil

Lovehoney vanilla massage oil

Door #19 contains a bottle of vanilla-scented massage oil. This simple formula contains just four ingredients:

  • Ethylhexyl palmite, a common skincare ingredient that functions as an emollient, solvent, and fragrance fixative, according to The Derm Review.
  • Caprylic/capric triglyceride, which is derived from coconut oil and glycerine according to The Soap Kitchen and is widely recognised as safe for topical use.
  • Isopropyl myristate, a thickening agent or moisturiser commonly found in cosmetics. Reports suggest it can cause skin irritation in a minority of people (usually those with existing skin conditions) but is widely considered safe for cosmetic use.
  • Parfum, a mysterious concoction of synthetic fragrances designed to make the product smell good. Many people recommend avoiding products with this “ingredient” (actually potentially a mix of ingredients) as we don’t know exactly what’s in it. I can’t tell you whether to avoid these products or not. I generally use them without too much concern and have never had a problem, but your mileage (and tolerance for long-term risk) may vary.
Lovehoney vanilla massage oil ingredients

You get 30ml in this little bottle of vanilla massage oil. You only need a few drops to get decent skin coverage, but it does dry out quite quickly once you start massaging. You’ll get maybe 3-4 massages out of this bottle, depending on how generously you want to apply it.

The scent is very strong and distinctively vanilla. It’s a little artificial, but not unpleasant. Be aware that the scent really lingers on your skin so unless you’re going to take a shower straight after, you might smell of vanilla for the rest of the day.

By the way: make sure the lid is on properly when you’re done! Ask me why there’s massage oil all over my desk…

Massages can be a fun precursor to sex, a form of aftercare, or even a way to connect physically and intimately with your partner without involving your genitals. A nice scented massage oil can add a little extra sense of indulgence to the experience.

If you like this massage oil, you can get a bottle of Lovehoney’s Oh! Vanilla Massage Oil for £5.99 when this one runs out. The Oh! oil seems to contain more natural ingredients and nothing mysterious like the above-mentioned “parfum”. The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar retails for £120 and contains £370+ worth of products. You can get 10% off your entire Lovehoney order by using my code “coffkink10” at checkout.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #18: Pom Pom Tickler

We’re less than a week from the end of this adventure now! In case you’re just catching up, I’ve been sharing a series of reviews as Mr CK and I delve into the “Best Sex of Your Life” adult advent calendar.

It’s time to open Door #18…

Door #18: Pom Pom Tickler

Door #18 contains what Lovehoney are calling a “pom pom tickler”. It’s essentially a red pom pom in some kind of soft and fluffy material attached to a black velcro ring.

Lovehoney red pom pom tickler for sensation play

Sensation play can be a lot of fun either as part of sex or as an activity in and of itself. Try running the tickler along sensitive places, from your partner’s sides to their inner thighs or even the soles of their feet. This pom pom tickler is soft enough that you can even use it on places like faces and genitals.

Sensation play can be intense. Even though it doesn’t usually involve pain, it is a form of kink. And tickling can be a hyper-intense activity or even a hard limit for some people. So check in regularly with your partner and make sure you have their active, ongoing consent.

Optionally, you might want to consider combining sensation play with restraints (proper rope or cuffs, not those horrible “wrist restraint” ribbons from Day 13!)

Lovehoney pom pom tickler for sensation kink

My only concern with the pom pom tickler is I’m not really sure how easy it is to clean. You might be able to wash it in some warm water and then let it dry thoroughly, but you’re never going to get it completely sterile again. So if you get any kind of bodily fluids on it, I recommend considering it fluid bonded to that person.

The Best Sex of Your Life sex toy advent calendar is available from Lovehoney for £120. Get 10% off your entire order when you use my affiliate code “coffkink10” at checkout (valid on all products). These calendars are only available for a limited time and will likely sell out.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #17: Rabbit Cock Ring

In case you’re brand new here, I’m currently reviewing the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” adult advent calendar day by day, and today is Day 17. We’ve had better sex supplies, toys for penises, bondage and BDSM gear, and much more.

Let’s open Door #17…

Door #17: Rabbit Cock Ring

Today’s offering is a rabbit cock ring. It can be used alone, but to get the most out of it you’ll want to pair it with the bullet vibe found in Door #1 or any other bullet vibe in your collection. The ring sits around the penis, restricting blood flow out of the wearer’s erection, while the rabbit ears tickle the receptive partner’s clitoris. It looks a little something like this:

Silicone rabbit cock ring for couples

Here are the basic facts and stats:

  • Material: Silicone.
  • Colour: Black.
  • Body safe? Yes. Silicone is non-porous, hygienic, and body-safe.
  • Power: No inbuilt power, use with any bullet vibe.
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 3.5″ in total length. Ears measure 1″. Diameter of opening is 1.5″ without stretching.
  • Lube compatible: Yes, water-based or oil-based lubes are compatible.
  • Cleaning: Boiling or a 10% bleach solution for a full clean.

I really like this cock ring. It is stretchy enough to fit the vast majority of penis sizes, but strong enough to provide a pleasurable squeeze and stay securely in place.

The rabbit ears really make this one for me. The silicone transmits vibrations well, and the fluttering from the ears feels amazing against my clit.

I’ll be honest: I rarely orgasm from using this kind of toy during penetrative sex. That’s because, once you add any kind of thrusting into the mix, the clitoral stimulation is too eratic and inconsistent to get me off. But that doesn’t mean the extra sensation isn’t very welcome.

I can honestly see myself using this ring separately for clitoral masturbation as well as for partnered sex. Those ears are just that good, especially when paired with a high powered bullet like the Blush Nocturnal (pictured here):

Silicone rabbit cock ring with Blush Nocturnal powerful bullet vibrator

If you’re a penis owner, you could also use this ring for masturbation either by itself or with a bullet. Try turning the ears around so they tickle your balls, if that sounds hot to you.

A versatile toy that is a great addition to this kit.

The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar for couples retails for £120 at Lovehoney. Use my code “coffkink10” at checkout to get 10% off your entire Lovehoney order.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #16: Menthol Pleasure Balm

With only 9 days of the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” advent calendar to go, I feel like we’re into the home stretch now. If you haven’t caught up yet, check out whole review series to see the hits, the misses, and the “meh”s.

Now, though, it’s time to open Door #16…

Door #16: Menthol Pleasure Balm

Tin of Lovehoney menthol pleasure balm

Behind Door #16 is a small tin of Lovehoney’s menthol “pleasure balm”. The idea is that when you apply a small amount to external erogenous zones, such as the clitoris or nipples, it increases sensitivity to enhance your pleasure. It’s very similar to the Bliss Orgasm Balm I reviewed last year.

Lovehoney’s pleasure balm is made of primarily plant-derived ingredients including sweet almond oil, grape seed oil, shea butter, cocoa, avocado oil, and wheat extract. It does also contain beeswax, so you might want to avoid this one if you’re vegan. I’m not a scientist by any stretch, but I can’t see anything alarming from a health or safety perspective in the ingredients list as long as you don’t have any allergies or sensitivities to any of the ingredients.

Tin of Lovehoney orgasm balm

Everyone will react differently to things like this. It works really well for me! The cool, tingly sensation is quite intense and it definitely makes my clitoral orgasms both easier to reach and more explosive. It’s not a magic cure-all for orgasm difficulties, of course. But if a little extra sensitivity helps you, then this could be just the thing. And of course, even if you don’t struggle to orgasm, it can always be fun to play with new and different sensations!

You only get 7g in the tin, but a little goes a long way with this stuff. I really only needed a small dab to get the full effects. It also lasts well, so constant reapplication isn’t necessary.

The pleasure balm has a white creamy consistency that melts to an oily liquid when you rub it between your fingers or massage it into your skin. It has a distinctive but pleasant minty smell. Be aware that if you’re using it during oral sex, you’ll definitely be able to taste it. It’s for external use only, so don’t use it inside your vagina or butt.

My biggest complaint? The little tin is really hard to open! I’ve found that squeezing it between my palms and then twisting is the best way. But struggling to open a tin without interrupting the flow of your sex or masturbation session is a pain.

Otherwise? Love this stuff. I’ll definitely be buying more when this little tin runs out.

The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar retails for £120, and you can get 10% off this or any other Lovehoney order by using my code “coffkink10” at checkout. The calendars are limited in quantity, so get yours in plenty of time if you want one.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #15: Silicone Anal Beads

Here we are in the third week of the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” advent calendar. Don’t forget to check out the rest of the series! There have been a few hits, a few misses, and a few in-betweens so far.

Let’s see what we’re starting week 3 with…

Door #15: Silicone Anal Beads

Black silicone anal beads

Behind Door #15, we have a set of silicone anal beads.

  • Material: Silicone.
  • Colour: Black.
  • Body safe? Yes. Silicone is hygienic (essential for anal toys in particular), non-toxic, and non-porous.
  • Power: No inbuilt power but it pairs with a bullet vibrator (see more further down).
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 6″ in total length, 5″ insertable. Beads range in diameter from 0.9″ to 1.2″.
  • Lube compatible: Water-based or oil-based lubes will work.
  • Cleaning: Sterilise with a 10% bleach solution or by boiling.
Woman holding black silicone anal beads

I’m impressed with today’s offering. These anal beads are made of soft and silky matte silicone and are well-designed to make for easy and comfortable insertion, even for complete beginners. Remember to always use tonnes of lube for anal play and if anything hurts, stop immediately. Anal can feel intense, but it is not supposed to hurt.

You can use these beads on their own, or pair them with the bullet vibrator behind Door #1 (or any small bullet in your collection – it pairs particularly well with the We-Vibe Tango!) The silicone transmits vibrations well along the length of the beads and into the tip, even on lower settings.

Blush Nocturnal bullet vibrator and silicone vibrating anal beads
Feat. the Blush Nocturnal bullet vibe

Anal beads are versatile. They can form the main event of a play session, or you can wear them during sex or masturbation for added stimulation. Some people swear by pulling them out at the point of climax, claiming that this increases orgasmic contractions and increases pleasure. Your mileage may vary but if that sounds fun to you, why not give it a go?

The Best Sex of Your Life sex toy advent calendar retails for £120. Get 10% off by using my code “coffkink10” at checkout (valid on any Lovehoney order). These calendars tend to sell out, so grab yours early if you want one!

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #14: Adjustable Nipple Clamps

We’ve reached the end of the second week! After today, there are only ten days left to go. If you’re just catching up, I have been reviewing the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” sexy advent calendar, which has so far included sex toys, anal play items, bondage gear, and more.

Let’s find out what we’re closing week 2 with…

Door #14: Adjustable Nipple Clamps

Behind Door #14 we have a set of nipple clamps. This set is a limited edition colourway version of the Lovehoney Tease Me Adjustable Nipple Clamps (RRP £12.99). They are gold in colour with red silicone tips, and finished with little charms shaped like the Lovehoney heart insignia.

My first reaction on opening this window was “oooh, they’re cute!” And they are. The red and gold is a pretty colour combination of the sort that I can see myself wearing to a very adult Christmas party! But how functional are they?

Lovehoney nipple clamps

These clamps are easy to put on and take off. Simply move the slider down to open them up, pop them into position, and move the slider up again to secure them in place.

The point of adjustable nipple clamps is to fit a wide range of nipple sizes (and offer variable pressure levels). But these really won’t work for anyone with large nipples. My nipples are on the smaller side, considering that I have G-cup boobs, and I still had to open the clamps all the way to get them on.

They stayed on reasonably well when I was just moving around normally, but they pop off with the slightest tug. So if you like the idea of your partner pulling on them during sex, look elsewhere.

Lovehoney adjustable nipple clamps for beginners

As far as how they feel, these clamps are going to be very, very gentle for the vast majority of wearers. And that might be exactly what you want! Wearing clamps purely for decoration or a very slight squeezing sensation is totally valid. But if you’re looking for a more intense pinch or for that rush of delicious pain when the clamps come off, these are likely to disappoint.

The quality also isn’t great. I’ve tried these clamps just a couple of times and already, some of the gold-coloured plating is starting to come off.

Cute, yes. But they’re not especially functional and they won’t last very long. They’re fine for a night or two of wear in the bedroom or out at the club. But if you’re looking for something more intense or durable, you might want to consider tweezer clamps or clover clamps instead.

The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar retails for £120 and is a limited edition product! Get 10% off your entire purchase at Lovehoney when you use my code “coffkink10” at checkout.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #13: Wrist Restraints

We’re over half way now! It’s Day 13 of the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar, which I’m unboxing and reviewing day by day.

Door #13: Wrist Restraints

Lovehoney wrist restraints for bondage

Behind Door #13, we have a set of black ribbon wrist restraints. They seem to be a slight variation on the Lovehoney Oh! Silky Bondage Restraints (RRP £8.99).

They’re… glorified ribbons, honestly. Each one has a little loop at each end to make restraint easier and is decorated with a red and gold Lovehoney heart, but other than that they’re just black ribbons of the sort you’d find in any craft store.

Lovehoney bondage restraints

Tying people up with silky items like ribbons, ties, and scarves is a divisive subject amongst kinksters. Some say it’s fine, but many educators believe it’s dangerous. This is because these materials can easily tighten when pressure is applied, making them harder to untie if you’re using knots or even cutting off circulation if they’re left on for long enough.

If you want to use these restraints for a light BDSM or roleplay activity like tying your partner to the bed, that’s probably fine if you follow some basic safety protocols:

  • Tie them loosely. You should always be able to get at least two fingers between the ribbon and the skin.
  • Don’t use them for any kind of weight-bearing activity (the bound person shouldn’t pull hard against them, either).
  • Keep a pair of safety shears to hand in case you need to cut them off.
  • Never, ever leave a bound person alone. No, not even for a minute.
Lovehoney bondage restraints for kink and BDSM

Honestly, though, if restraint is your thing just get some proper cuffs or some bondage rope and learn how to use it safely (via online tutorials, books, peer rope sessions, or classes with reputable teachers).

This one’s a miss for me. Packaging up lightly branded basic ribbons as “bondage restraints” (and dubiously safe ones at that) just doesn’t sit right with me.

The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar retails for £120 but contains around £370+ worth of products (most of them better than these!) You can also get 10% off your entire order of anything at Lovehoney by using my code “coffkink10” at checkout.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!