[Toy Review] Satisfyer Wand-er Woman

Satisfyer started out making pressure wave toys, bringing products like the excellent Satisfyer Pro 2 and the famously adorable Pro Penguin to market. After that, they branched out into vibrators, some of which I loved and some of which were just okay. So I suppose it was inevitable they’d make a wand eventually.

The good folks at EroticFeel, an online sex shop selling an extensive range of products from sex toys and lingerie to BDSM gear, were kind enough to send me the Satisfyer Wand-er Woman to try out.

Wand-erful First Impressions?

The Wand-er Woman arrived discreetly in plain packaging and inside, the toy was presented in an attractive blue/pink/purple box with information about the toy and line drawings of nude women. I have to say that I don’t like this product’s name. It’s a cute pun, sure, but it’s really unnecessarily gendered since wand vibrators are for everyone.

Satisfyer Wand-er Woman wand vibrator

My other first impression of the Satisfyer Wand-er Woman is that it’s LARGE. Measuring 34cm (13.4″) in length and weighing in at 647g, this is not a small toy. I’m not necessarily opposed to large toys, but they can be challenging to hold and manipulate and are inaccessible for some people. I actually found the thickness of the Wand-er Woman’s handle to be more of a problem than its weight alone. I have fairly small hands, but the thickness of this toy’s handle combined with its weight made it challenging to hold for long enough to have a decent play session with it.

Woman holding magic wand vibrator by Satisfyer

The Wand-er Woman is available in three colourways: black, white, or purple. I received the white version, which has lilac buttons and a silver decorative bad at the top of the handle. The Wand-er Woman is rechargeable via the included cable, and completely waterproof. The body and head are coated in soft, body-safe matte silicone and the silicone cap is removeable from the head, which allows for easier cleaning.

In Use

The Wand-er Woman boasts ten vibration settings (constant vibration plus 9 patterns) and 5 speeds, for an impressive total of 50 possible combinations. The three-button interface is simple and intuitive, and the buttons are easy to press. I appreciated being able to scroll through the speeds by simply holding the plus or minus buttons down, without needing to press repeatedly. The Wand-er Woman’s neck has a little flex, which is useful for positioning.

Satisfyer Wand-er Woman magic wand vibrator buttons

The Wand-er Woman is not quite as powerful, nor as rumbly, as many of the corded wands in my collection. It doesn’t deliver the eyeball-shaking, whole-room-rattling intensity of some of my all-time faves. It also doesn’t quite match up in terms of deep, penetrating rumbles.

Satisfyer Wand-er Woman wand vibrator

That’s not to say it isn’t powerful, though! All but the most discerning Power Royalty will still be able to get plenty of pleasure out of this toy. It’s not exactly buzzy, either, just… somewhere closer to the centre of the buzz/rumble spectrum. I need the highest setting to get off, but not everyone’s clit is as demanding as mine. I also don’t particularly care for patterns – I tried them all for the sake of being thorough, and because I keep hoping to meet a vibration pattern that changes my mind about vibration patterns, though I haven’t yet.

The cordless design is useful, as I don’t always wand power cords trailing across my bedroom (and, in environments like play parties, there isn’t always an outlet available). The battery life is good. Noise-wise, it’s fine. Interestingly, I’ve seen some users complain of their Wand-er Woman being excessively loud, but mine just makes a persistent hum at the kind of volume you’d expect for a toy at this power level. It’s not silent but it doesn’t sound like a power tool, either.

Verdict

One of the key selling points of the Satisfyer Wand-er Woman is its relatively affordable price point. Retailing for £44.95 at full price, it’s less than half the price of many of its main competitors. If you’re willing to cope with the downsides, such as the toy’s weight and the width of the handle, and you’re not expecting the same power you’d get from a pricy corded toy, it’s a perfectly fine option. Folks on a budget, or beginners wanting to try out wands without splashing out £100 or more immediately, might find it’s perfectly adequate for their needs.

I don’t think I’ll be reaching for it regularly, but I’m glad it exists!

Thanks to EroticFeel for sending me this product to review. All views are, as ever, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Toy Review] Godemiche Grind Ring “Waves” and “Bumps”

This is the second part of a two-part series on the Godemiche Grind Ring! You can read part 1 here.

In the first part of this series, I decribed the Godemiche Grind Ring as a “revelation in sensation”. Having now tried the other two textures in the range – known as “waves” and “bumps” – I’m standing by that assessment and excited to gush even more about how much I love these genuinely amazing toys.

So What is a Grind Ring, Again?

A Grind Ring is a piece of silicone shaped a bit like a pizza slice, designed to fit around the penis or dildo during penetrative sex and provide extra external stimulation to a person with a clitoris. Each Grind Ring has a raised bulge and one of four textures. It can also be used in a whole bunch of other ways: combine it with a vibrator, put it on a sex position wedge or pillow and grind against it, or use it as an accompaniment to hand sex. Or, you know, whatever other creative ideas you can come up with!

Grind Rings are body-safe and easy to clean with soap and water (or a pot of boiling water).

The Toy for Smut Writers (and Readers!)

Are you a smutty writer? Do you, like me, sometimes find yourself getting turned on by your own words? Or do you just enjoy sitting at your desk and reading filthy words? If so, consider putting the Grind Ring on your desk chair and grinding against it as you read/write. The firm surface helps to keep it in place and provide some delicious pressure. I just discovered this possibility a few days ago and I can’t get enough of it. Thank goodness I finally have curtains back up in my office…

With that said, let’s look at the two remaining Grind Ring textures that I haven’t yet talked about: “Waves” and “Bumps”.

Godemiche Grind Ring silicone sex toy in Bubbles and Waves
Feat. “Bumps” in Aquamarine and “Waves” in Pastel Pearlescent Green

Texture 3: “Waves”

Just this morning, I told Mr CK I was writing up this review, and he asked me which of the Grind Ring designs I liked best overall. After thinking about it for a moment, I declared Waves my favourite.

Godemiche Waves Grind Ring clitoral sex toy

The Waves ring was also perhaps the biggest surprise. After feeling how soft the silicone ripples are, I wasn’t sure how much I’d be able to feel them. But when I ground against them, especially when they had a firm surface underneath, they felt like a series of continuous licks from little silicone tongues. Since the waves are so close together and flex as you rub against them, it’s a continuous sensation.

If I’m aroused and using plenty of lube, I can orgasm easily just by grinding my clit into the Waves Grind Ring.

Texture 4: “Bumps”

The Bumps Grind Ring is the perfect middle ground when I want something more intense than the Bubbles but less intense than the Spikes. The bumps are quite small and quite close together so whichever way I move against them, several of them are always making contact with my clit from various angles.

Godemiche Bumps Grind Ring sex toy for clit

I like to use the Bumps ring before moving on to the Waves or Spikes. It’s just the right level of intensity for a hot warmup. With that said, I could probably come on it with some perseverance and a little time. I’ll have to try – you know, for science.

Verdict

Now that I’ve tried out all four Grind Ring textures, I’m even more impressed and maybe even a little obsessed. They’re amazingly versatile and a brilliant way to experiment with different sensations to see what works for you.

If you have a clitoris, I can’t recommend Grind Rings highly enough. If you’ve tried them, which texture was your favourite?

Grind Rings retail for £34.99 each.

Also: there’s a new texture out! “Pyramid Spikes” has just hit the Godemiche website. If I can get hold of one, I’ll report back with a review. Stay tuned…

Thanks to Godemiche for sending me four Grind Rings in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links appear in this post and if you use them, I make a small commission. All commissions help me to keep C&K going!

[Toy Review] Godemiche Grind Ring “Bubbles” and “Spikes”

This is the first post in a two-part series. Since the Grind Rings come in four different textures (and I hear there may be others in the works), I decided to review them in two sets of two rather than one epic post.

In their Twitter bio, Godemiche – the UK toy company made up of powerhouse married duo Adam and Monika – state that their goal is “not to break the mold, but recolour it.” I firmly believe that their Ambit is the most perfect dildo I have ever encountered, and their array of body-safe dildos, plugs, strokers, and gags are available in a dizzying array of colours and combinations. But despite this stated aim, their latest product, the Grind Ring, really does break a few molds.

In a world of endless knock-offs and derivatives, it is so refreshing when I see sex toy designers doing something genuinely new and innovative. And I have never come across anything quite like the Grind Ring before.

But what is a Grind Ring, how does it work, and – most importantly – is it good?

What is the Godemiche Grind Ring?

The Grind Ring is a toy (or actually a series of toys) designed for folks who enjoy clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex.

Godemiche describe it thus: The Grind Ring is a soft textured piece of body safe silicone that’s shaped like a pizza slice with a bulge for grinding, dare we say it, it’s also more enjoyable then a pizza slice too and way fucking dirtier.

And yeah, that’s a pretty perfect description. Here’s what they look like:

Two Godemiche Grind Ring silicone sex toys

Since I typically default to getting everything in purple when I’m choosing sex toys, I decided to go for something a bit different this time. Pictured above are the Bubbles ring in Reefs Water, and the Spikes ring in Dragon’s Breath. The colours are as gorgeously vibrant as ever, and the silicone has this lovely marbled swirly effect that’s just so, so pretty:

Back of Godemiche Grind Ring clitoral stimulators showing pretty marbled silicone pattern

So How Does it Work?

Like the dutiful sex toy testers we are, my partner Mr CK and I initially tested the Grind Ring in the way it was intended to be used. After trying a few different positions, we concluded that by far the most effective way to use this toy was the me-on-top position. This meant I could effectively grind my vulva against the textured surface while he was inside me.

It also worked pretty well in the him-on-top position. Basically, any position that involves a lot of close, face-to-face bodily contact is probably going to work well. When we tried having sex with him standing and me lying on my back on the bed, this presented the opportunity for him to use his hand to stimulate my clit with the ring, which was also extremely fucking hot.

Since most people with vulvas need sustained clitoral stimulation to orgasm, Grind Rings are a great way to achieve that during penetrative sex (if you want to) and to experiment with different textures. While using a Grind Ring did not give me a clitoral orgasm during sex, it did up the intensity and add a whole bunch of additional hotness and pleasure to the experience.

Other Ways to Use the Grind Ring

The fun thing about sex toys is that you don’t have to just use them in the way they were originally designed to be used. Wand vibrators on penises or clitoral suckers on nipples, anyone?

The Grind Ring is no different. Girl on the Net posted a brilliant piece about using it “wrong” (there’s obviously no such thing!) and I was inspired to try her “textured Doxy wank” idea. And oof, yes, this is highly, highly recommended. I’ve also found that using the Grind Rings as an addition to hand sex, either solo or partnered, is fucking excellent. One of these and plenty of lube between my/my partner’s hand and my vulva is currently one of my favourite ways to get off.

Another option is to place the Grind Ring over a suitable firm surface, such as a couch arm, sex position wedge, or particularly firm pillow, and grind on it that way.

And don’t forget, of course, that if you or your partner don’t have a penis you can also use the Grind Ring with any dildo or strap-on.

Godemiche Ambit with Spikes Grind Ring
Feat. the Godemiche Bi Pride Ambit

Texture 1: Bubbles

The Bubbles Grind Ring looks like this:

Godemiche Grind Ring silicone clitoral stimulator in Bubbles

This was actually the first one we tried as an addition to penetrative sex. I wasn’t sure the texture would be noticeable enough to do anything but it really, really is.

Out of all the Grind Ring textures, Bubbles is by far my favourite as an addition to hand sex. It’s textured enough to offer something distinctive and different, but not so intense as to be too much. The smoothness, when coupled with plenty of lube, is divine when I or my partner rub it across my clitoral hood.

Texture 2: Spikes

The Spikes Grind Ring looks like this:

Godemiche Grind Ring clitoral stimulator in Spikes

My first thought when I saw this texture was “eek”. I know silicone is pretty soft, but even so, this looked like it might be too intense for my sensitive clit.

And it is… sometimes.

I have to be in a specific mood for the Spikes Grind Ring. And that mood is “extremely horny” and “in the mood for something so intense it’s almost too much”. It’s not painful, as the silicone is indeed very soft and squishy. It’s just… a lot. Of course, if you do find it painful, you could use it to indulge in a little consensual clitoral pain play if you like that sort of thing.

I did discover one absolutely amazing way to use this ring. If I lay it across my vulva and use a powerful vibrator over the top of it, the tips of the spikes transmit the vibrations in VERY interesting ways. You’re welcome!

Verdict

These things are a revelation in sensation, particularly the Bubbles ring. They’re effective for their intended purpose but also super versatile if you get a little creative.

Godemiche Grind Rings retail for £34.99 each and are hand-made to order in whatever combination of colour and texture you choose. Stay tuned for part 2 – “Waves” and “Bumps” – coming very soon!

Thanks to Godemiche for sending me these products in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links appear in this post. If you use them to make a purchase, I’ll make a small commission at no extra cost to you. All commissions help fund C&K’s continued existence and keep me well-stocked with coffee!

[Toy Review] Womanizer Premium 2

Long-time readers might remember my Womanizer Premium review from way back in 2018. Well, did you know that there’s a new Womanizer clitoral stimulator on the market? Enter the new, upgraded Womanizer Premium 2.

Womanizer Premium vs. Premium 2: What’s the Difference?

Womanizer Premium 2 clit sucker

The Womanizer Premium 2 has a lot in common with the original Womanizer Premium. It’s the same size (6.5″ in length) and the same basic design and structure. It features the same tapered body, coated in silky-smooth, body-safe silicone, and the same removable nozzle.

There are two main differences, as follows:

  • The Womanizer Premium 2 offers 14 speed settings (the Premium has an already-impressive 12).
  • The “autopilot” mode has been improved and upgraded for the Premium 2.

Surprisingly, they retail for the same price: £169.99.

The Womanizer Premium 2 comes in 5 colourways. Mine is a gorgeous midnight blue with a silver accent. It is fully waterproof, and rechargeable via the included cable, with a full charge giving you over two hours of use.

What’s in the Box?

The Womanizer Premium 2 comes in beautiful, elegant packaging that is reminiscent of the sort of box high-end perfume might come in. If you’re buying the toy as a gift (or a gift to yourself), it definitely has that “luxury” feel.

In the box, alongside the stimulator, you’ll find:

  • Magnetic USB charging cable
  • Cotton storage pouch
  • An extra nozzle in a different size (you can also buy extras!)
  • A quick-start guide
  • A set of safety instructions

The inclusion of a storage bag is appreciated, and the extra nozzle (presented in a little packet rather fetchingly decorated with vulva drawings!) is a nice inclusion and a nod to the fact that bodies come in different shapes and sizes.

Womanizer Premium extra nozzles in bag with vulva drawing

Womanizer Premium 2 in Use

The Womanizer Premium 2 is a delight to handle and use. It is comfortable to hold, and the buttons are intuitively placed and easy to push. You might need to try different ways of positioning it to see what works best for your body. For me, I hold it upside down (so with the tapered end facing towards my face) to make contact with my clit from above, but some people find that the other way around, or even a side-on approach, works best. The only right way is the way that works for you!

Womanizer Premium 2 buttons

Thanks to its enormous 14 levels of power, the Womanizer Premium 2 offers very small and incremental speed increases, from the lowest purring rumble to the rip-the-orgasm-from-your-body top setting. If you’re very sensitive, this can be a good way to explore different levels of intensity without getting overstimulated. For me, the sweet spot was between about level 9 and level 13. Anything lower wasn’t intense enough, but the very top was a little too much.

No other suction toy has ever gotten me off as quickly as this one does. The first time I tested it, it took me from zero to orgasm in less than ten minutes. Subsequent attempts have more or less replicated that experience. Of course, it’s possible to drag it out by using lower settings or just backing off from the edge.

I also love Womanizer’s “Smart Silence” feature. This simply means that when the toy is on, the motor only activates when it’s actually against your body. If discretion or being able to stop your toy instantly is important to you, this is a nice feature. I just like it because it means that the toy doesn’t keep buzzing away next to me when I’m grabbing lube or finding a porn clip to watch.

The main downside of the Womanizer Premium 2 in use is that it’s a little noisy. It’s quieter than some of my power-tool mains wand vibrators, but definitely significantly louder than my trusty go-to bullet.

About that Autopilot Feature

I didn’t care for the Womanizer 2’s autopilot feature at all, and I’m afraid my assessment still stands. One of the biggest benefits of masturbation is knowing exactly what your body needs and being able to adjust accordingly. Autopilot removes that, and the result is random changes in stimulation that can seriously disrupt

When I tried the autopilot mode, I soon ended up frustrated and annoyed. I switched the toy back to manual mode as soon as I felt I’d given autopilot a fair shot for the sake of writing up this review. Is it better than the original Womanizer Premium’s autopilot feature? Yes. Do I still kind of hate it? Also yes.

Your mileage may vary, of course. If you love unpredictability and being surprised by changes in intensity, the autopilot mode may be a great feature for you. It’s not bad, it’s just not right for me.

Verdict

The Womanizer Premium was an excellent clitoral suction toy, and the Premium 2 is a worthy update to that original design. The two extra settings are much appreciated, and the autopilot is noticeably better even if I don’t actually like it.

This is a seriously pricy toy, though you do get bang for your buck (so to speak). If £169.99 is a bit steep for you, the Womanizer Classic (priced at £119.99) is a great alternative, offering the same sensations, just with fewer settings and no Smart Silence.

Thanks to Womanizer for sending me this product to review. All pictures and all views, as ever, are mine. If you buy through the affiliate links in this post, I make a small commission.

[Toy Review] Hot Octopuss Atom Plus Lux

This review has been a long time coming. For various reasons, we kept getting thwarted each time we tried to test out this toy! But better late than never, and I’m pleased to be bringing you a review of the Hot Octopuss Atom Plus Lux today.

What is the Atom Plus Lux?

The Atom Plus Lux is the newest vibrating cock ring from Hot Octopuss, London-based purveyors of innovative sex toys. It’s an upgrade on the original Hot Octopus Atom Plus, the main difference being that it now comes with a remote control.

Hot Octopuss Atom Plus Lux cock ring

The Atom Plus Lux measures 4.72″ in length and 2.36″ in total width. It is made of ultra soft and body-safe matte black silicone and adorned with plastic accents on each end, which is also where the buttons live. The top is stamped with the Hot Octopuss crown insignia.

The Atom Plus Lux contains two motors. Motor #1 is housed at the top and designed to deliver vibrations to the head and upper shaft of the penis, as well as the receptive partner’s clitoris during penetrative sex. The second motor lives in the base and, combined with the pronounced ridge, stimulates the wearer’s perineum.

Atom Plus Lux vibrating cock ring viewed from the side

The Atom Plus Lux is rechargeable via the included USB cable. Charging takes 2 hours and you get around 40 minutes’ use out of a full charge, which isn’t amazing. It is fully waterproof, should you want to use it in the bath or shower.

How powerful is it?

One thing Hot Octopuss has consistently got right is their motors. The Atom Plus Lux’s two motors are impressively powerful, certainly more so than any other vibrating cock ring I’ve tried. That said, they are a little on the buzzy side. They do not have the deep, satisfying rumbles of the “bass” motors in, say, the Jett or the Kurve.

The Atom Plus Lux offers five levels of power and five vibrating patterns. I asked Mr CK how the vibrations felt to him. His answer: “I mean, they’re fine, but they won’t get me off”. I could definitely orgasm from this toy if I used it just for clitoral stimulation, but probably not during penetrative sex (for reasons I’ll get into below).

By the way: the two motors are integrated, so you cannot control them separately.

How does it fare in use?

I am coming to the conclusion that Mr CK and I just don’t really care for vibrating cock rings all that much. The idea of them is good, but in practice they tend to be more trouble than they’re really worth.

Hot Octopuss Atom Plus Lux vibrating cock ring on Godemiche Ambit silicone dildo
Feat. Godemiche Ambit in a limited edition Valentine’s Day design.

You have to put on the Atom Plus Lux when the penis is flaccid or semi-flaccid, and it has to sit behind the testicles (we tried it first just around the penis, and it just moves around and slips off). The silicone is pretty rigid and hard to stretch for long at first, although it does loosen up a little after a few uses. That said, if you suffer from pain or muscle weakness in your hands, you may find it challenging to put on.

Part of the idea behind vibrating cock rings is that most people with vulvas need sustained clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. The problem is that they don’t really provide that stimulation very well! While I appreciate the extra clitoral sensation that comes from using a vibrating cock ring like the Atom Plus Lux, it’s neither consistent nor sustained enough to actually get me off unless my partner just, sort of, puts his penis inside me and then doesn’t move. (Which… can be hot and is apparently a thing Mormons don’t think counts as sex, but it’s not really our thing!)

Remote control cock ring Hot Octopuss Atom Plus Lux remote

The Atom Plus Lux’s controls are easy to use, with an on/off/change pattern button located on the bottom and the speed buttons located on either side at the top. The remote control is a nice addition, as pressing buttons on the toy itself can be a little fiddly mid-fuck!

Verdict

The Atom Plus Lux is a very well-designed and well-made vibrating cock ring with two reasonably powerful motors. I don’t think we’ll be using it much, but that’s got very little to do with the product itself.

Honestly, if any toy was going to turn me into a vibrating cock ring convert, it’d be this one. Sadly, it really hasn’t, so I have to conclude they’re probably not for me.

That said, if you enjoy (or think you might enjoy) this kind of toy, the Atom Plus Lux is a good bet! Hot Octopuss’s products are well-made and built to last and, if something does go wrong, their customer service is stellar. I actually recently had an issue with a different product and they sorted it so quickly and professionally.

The Atom Plus Lux retails for £89.95 (that’s $129.95 for my American friends).

Thanks to Hot Octopuss, who sent me this product in exchange for an honest review. All views and images in this post are mine. Affiliate links are included and if you shop through them, I make a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #24: Womanizer Classic

We’ve made it! I have successfully tested and reviewed every item in Lovehoney’s “Best Sex of Your Life” advent calendar. And what a ride it’s been. There will be an overview of the entire set coming out tomorrow. For now, though, it’s time to open Door #24!

Door #24: Womanizer Classic

If you were expecting something big and exciting for Day 24, Lovehoney did not disappoint! Behind Door #24 is a Womanizer Classic, one of the newer additions to the famed Womanizer line of clitoral stimulators. Let’s start with the basic rundown:

  • Material: ABS plastic body, silicone nozzle.
  • Colour: Pink body, white nozzle.
  • Body safe? Yes, completely. ABS plastic and silicone are both 100% body-friendly and non-porous.
  • Power: Rechargeable via the included magnetic cable.
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible. Suction toys offer a very different sensation underwater, so it’s worth trying to see if it works for you.
  • Size: The body is 6″ in total length. The nozzle opening is 0.7″.
  • Lube compatible: Use water-based or oil-based lubes with this one.
  • Cleaning: Wipe the body clean with a sterile wipe. Clean the removable nozzle by boiling it or popping it into a 10% bleach solution.

The Womanizer Classic is shaped very similarly to the Womanizer Premium, which you may recall I adored. The Classic model has slightly fewer features (none of the fancy Smart Silence or Auto Pilot stuff, and only 8 speeds instead of 12). But otherwise, it’s broadly much the same.

Womanizer Classic suction sex toy for Womanizer Classic review

Most importantly, it delivers those slow-build, leg-shakingly intense orgasms I’ve come to expect from Womanizer toys.

These toys all use patented “Pleasure Air” technology. The nozzle surrounds your clit and delivers stimulation through rapid air pulses. Sound too gentle? It’s not. It’s amazing.

The Womanizer Classic has three intuitively placed buttons: an on/off, and buttons to turn the speed up or down. They’re easy to press, and they’re different sizes so you can feel for the right one without needing to break your flow to look.

The only thing to be aware of is that it’s pretty loud at the higher settings. It gets a little quieter when the nozzle has a proper seal against your body, but it’s still got a distinctive sound. I don’t really care about discretion (“Goodnight, honey, I’m going for a wank” is a commonly used sentence in my house!) but your mileage may vary.

Womanizer Classic sex toy clitoral suction vibrator

One thing to be aware of as a beginner, is that suction sex toys do take a little getting used to. The sensations are quite different to a traditional vibrating toy, and it can take practice to figure out how it works best for you. So if you don’t get on with it the first time, I recommend

Yes, the Womanizer Classic is a winner and a worthy final prize in this set! It also retails for £119.99, which – considering the Best Sex of Your Life set retails for £120 – means you’re getting a pretty incredible deal. You can also use my code “coffkink10” at checkout to get 10% off this or any other purchase at Lovehoney.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #22: Penis Sleeve

With only three days to go, we’re definitely into the home stretch of this adventure now! In case you’re brand new here (hi, welcome!) I’m currently reviewing Lovehoney’s “Best Sex of Your Life” adult advent calendar, a set aimed at couples which offers a sex toy, kinky implement, or other item to improve your sex life each day.

So what’s behind Door #22?

Door #22: Penis Sleeve

Lovehoney textured penis sleeve

I’ve had a wide range of feelings about the items in this advent calendar, ranging from very positive to “ugh, seriously?” But today is the first one that has genuinely, seriously annoyed me! Let’s take a look at this stretchy penis sleeve and find out why I’m going “aaaaahhhhhh no!”

  • Material: A jelly-like “soft plastic”, possibly TPE.
  • Colour: Clear.
  • Body safe? No. More on why below.
  • Power: N/A.
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 4″ total length, very stretchy.
  • Lube compatible: Should work with any kind of lube.
  • Cleaning: You really can’t clean this material. Gentle soap and warm water will clean surface dirt but since it’s porous, it’ll never be entirely clean again.
Lovehoney textured penis extender

The basic idea of a penis sleeve like this is that you stretch it over your penis before penetrative sex. The bumps and nodules supposedly offer additional stimulation to the receptive partner, while helping the wearer to “last longer”, presumably by reducing the sensations they can feel.

Setting aside all the problems with the ubiquitous idea that a penis owner’s job is to “last” as long as possible during sex, the premise of this toy pisses me off. Sure, wearing a penis sleeve might mean you don’t come as quickly (or at all, until you take it off). Why? Because you can’t fucking feel anything!

I also seriously question how much these little jelly bumps and ridges are going to do for the person being penetrated. They’re not really pronounced enough to have the effect of, say, a highly textured dildo. I suspect the effect, for most people, will be little more than that of one of those “ribbed for her pleasure” condoms (i.e. basically nothing.)

Then we get into the safety issue. The website and packaging insists this penis sleeve doesn’t contain phthalates, so let’s take that at face value. But phthalates aren’t the only reason to be wary of jelly-like, “soft plastic” and TPE/TPR sex toys. According to toxic toy expert Dangerous Lilly, these materials are often softened with mineral oils and can contain other harmful chemicals besides phthalates. The material is also unstable and will begin to break down after a few months. (That myth about silicone toys melting together in storage? They won’t, but these mystery soft plastic toys likely will!)

Lovehoney penis sleeve on Godemiche Ambit silicone dildo
Feat. the Godemiche Ambit in a limited-edition Valentine’s Day design

This material is also extremely porous. I have mixed feelings about porous materials for external toys (TL;dr: probably okay for a few uses, but replace them often) but I NEVER recommend using them internally. Just from handling this penis sleeve, taking photos, and leaving it out on my desk overnight, it’s started to dull and get cloudy with lint, house dust, and the oils from my skin. You will NEVER get this thing clean, and it will harbour bacteria that could potentially give you a nasty infection. If you absolutely must use it for sex, please use it once and then throw it in the trash where it belongs.

Bottom line: I actually can’t tell you how it feels, because my partner and I both refuse to put this contraption anywhere near our genitals. Steer clear. I cannot stress enough how much I hate it. The fact that it’s included in a set that is fundamentally marketed at beginners, who may not know any better (because we don’t exactly get taught about toy safety in sex education), just makes it worse.

If you want to get your own Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar, they retail for £120. You can also get 10% off this or anything else you want to order at Lovehoney by using my code “coffkink10” at checkout.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #20: G-Spot Dildo

We’re down to the last few days!

Hello, if you’re just catching up, I’m reviewing the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” advent calendar, one door at a time. This kit is aimed at couples and assumes a cisgender, heterosexual dynamic (though many of the items are unisex and will work for anyone).

Let’s take a look behind Door #20…

Door #20: G-Spot Dildo

Black silicone dildo, G-spot dildo from Lovehoney

Behind today’s door is a mini G-spot dildo. I’ll start, as usual, with a rundown of the basic stats:

  • Material: Silicone.
  • Colour: Black.
  • Body safe? Yes. Silicone is body-safe and non-porous.
  • Power: No motor, but pairs with a bullet vibe if you wish.
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 5.5″ total length, 5″ insertable, 1.2″ in diameter at the widest point.
  • Lube compatible: Water-based or oil-based lubes will work fine.
  • Cleaning: Boiling or a 10% bleach solution will clean it completely.

This dildo has a hole in the base where you can insert a bullet vibe. This means it is very flexible to about halfway up the shaft, after which the silicone becomes firmer.

Base of the Lovehoney G-spot dildo which you can use with a bullet vibrator

You can use your G-spot dildo with the bullet that came in Door #1, or any suitably sized bullet vibe in your collection. I found it worked well with the Blush Nocturnal or We-Vibe Tango X!

Rabbit cock ring with black G-spot dildo
I also teamed it with the rabbit cock ring from a few days ago, just for fun!

The very gentle curve and bulbed head offer comfortable insertion and G-spot targeting. Though this toy is billed as a G-spot dildo, you could also use it as an anal dildo. The flared base makes it safe and, if you have a prostate, the curved tip is ideal for prostate stimulation.

Small silicone dildo for G-spot

Size lovers may not find this dildo large enough to satisfy. But if you’re new to insertable toys, want something you can use for warm-up, or just prefer smaller or slimmer toys, you can’t go wrong with this one.

The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar is a limited edition product. It retails for £120 but contains around £370 worth of products. You can also get 10% off any Lovehoney order when you use my code “coffkink10” at checkout.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #17: Rabbit Cock Ring

In case you’re brand new here, I’m currently reviewing the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” adult advent calendar day by day, and today is Day 17. We’ve had better sex supplies, toys for penises, bondage and BDSM gear, and much more.

Let’s open Door #17…

Door #17: Rabbit Cock Ring

Today’s offering is a rabbit cock ring. It can be used alone, but to get the most out of it you’ll want to pair it with the bullet vibe found in Door #1 or any other bullet vibe in your collection. The ring sits around the penis, restricting blood flow out of the wearer’s erection, while the rabbit ears tickle the receptive partner’s clitoris. It looks a little something like this:

Silicone rabbit cock ring for couples

Here are the basic facts and stats:

  • Material: Silicone.
  • Colour: Black.
  • Body safe? Yes. Silicone is non-porous, hygienic, and body-safe.
  • Power: No inbuilt power, use with any bullet vibe.
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 3.5″ in total length. Ears measure 1″. Diameter of opening is 1.5″ without stretching.
  • Lube compatible: Yes, water-based or oil-based lubes are compatible.
  • Cleaning: Boiling or a 10% bleach solution for a full clean.

I really like this cock ring. It is stretchy enough to fit the vast majority of penis sizes, but strong enough to provide a pleasurable squeeze and stay securely in place.

The rabbit ears really make this one for me. The silicone transmits vibrations well, and the fluttering from the ears feels amazing against my clit.

I’ll be honest: I rarely orgasm from using this kind of toy during penetrative sex. That’s because, once you add any kind of thrusting into the mix, the clitoral stimulation is too eratic and inconsistent to get me off. But that doesn’t mean the extra sensation isn’t very welcome.

I can honestly see myself using this ring separately for clitoral masturbation as well as for partnered sex. Those ears are just that good, especially when paired with a high powered bullet like the Blush Nocturnal (pictured here):

Silicone rabbit cock ring with Blush Nocturnal powerful bullet vibrator

If you’re a penis owner, you could also use this ring for masturbation either by itself or with a bullet. Try turning the ears around so they tickle your balls, if that sounds hot to you.

A versatile toy that is a great addition to this kit.

The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar for couples retails for £120 at Lovehoney. Use my code “coffkink10” at checkout to get 10% off your entire Lovehoney order.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #15: Silicone Anal Beads

Here we are in the third week of the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” advent calendar. Don’t forget to check out the rest of the series! There have been a few hits, a few misses, and a few in-betweens so far.

Let’s see what we’re starting week 3 with…

Door #15: Silicone Anal Beads

Black silicone anal beads

Behind Door #15, we have a set of silicone anal beads.

  • Material: Silicone.
  • Colour: Black.
  • Body safe? Yes. Silicone is hygienic (essential for anal toys in particular), non-toxic, and non-porous.
  • Power: No inbuilt power but it pairs with a bullet vibrator (see more further down).
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 6″ in total length, 5″ insertable. Beads range in diameter from 0.9″ to 1.2″.
  • Lube compatible: Water-based or oil-based lubes will work.
  • Cleaning: Sterilise with a 10% bleach solution or by boiling.
Woman holding black silicone anal beads

I’m impressed with today’s offering. These anal beads are made of soft and silky matte silicone and are well-designed to make for easy and comfortable insertion, even for complete beginners. Remember to always use tonnes of lube for anal play and if anything hurts, stop immediately. Anal can feel intense, but it is not supposed to hurt.

You can use these beads on their own, or pair them with the bullet vibrator behind Door #1 (or any small bullet in your collection – it pairs particularly well with the We-Vibe Tango!) The silicone transmits vibrations well along the length of the beads and into the tip, even on lower settings.

Blush Nocturnal bullet vibrator and silicone vibrating anal beads
Feat. the Blush Nocturnal bullet vibe

Anal beads are versatile. They can form the main event of a play session, or you can wear them during sex or masturbation for added stimulation. Some people swear by pulling them out at the point of climax, claiming that this increases orgasmic contractions and increases pleasure. Your mileage may vary but if that sounds fun to you, why not give it a go?

The Best Sex of Your Life sex toy advent calendar retails for £120. Get 10% off by using my code “coffkink10” at checkout (valid on any Lovehoney order). These calendars tend to sell out, so grab yours early if you want one!

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!