Tag: cunnilingus

Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II review header

[Toy Review] Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II

Published on by Amy

Readers are constantly asking me for recommendations for good fantasy sex toys. And I’m often stuck for what to recommend, because tentacles and aliens and monsters and things just aren’t really my kink. You know what is my kink, though? Quality and body-safe sex toys made and sold by small businesses. (Also grinders. I fucking love grinders.) Enter Uncover Creations, who recently sent me their Tentacle Grinder II (as well as two other products – reviews coming soon!) to test for you all.

Uncover Creations is a small business based in the UK and started by two friends who were sick of seeing the same boring, repetitive sex toy designs again and again. All their toys are made from high-quality, body-safe silicone and hand poured to order in a huge range of colours and styles. To say I was excited to try out their stuff would be an understatement!

Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II

Even though I don’t actually have a tentacle kink, I’ll say this for the Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II: it’s a beautiful looking toy. There’s a central raised and textured tentacle with two rows of “suckers” that tapers to a tongue-like point. The base of the toy is also decorated with swirly patterns and aquatic motifs.

Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II fantasy sex toy

It comes with a set of straps that you can use to attach the toy to a pillow, toy mount, partner’s leg, or any other suitable surface you can think of. The straps measure around 70cm or 2.5ft and are removeable for convenience when you’re not using them.

My Tentacle Grinder II is a gorgeous shade of turquoise. I think it’s “Strong Mint,” based on the colour guide. You can choose a solid colour, a fade of two colours, or a marbling effect. You can also allow the company to surprise you with one colour or a blend.

Optionally, you can choose for your Tentacle Grinder II to have a hole in the back where you can insert a bullet vibrator. There’s also an option to add a “Silky Smooth” upgrade, which is a finish made from durian tree nuts. I chose not to go for this because my vulva is pretty sensitive and I wasn’t sure this additive would agree with me.

Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II fantasy sex toy from the back

The Tentacle Grinder II measures 7.5″ in length and 5.5″ in width. The central tentacle is raised by 1.77″ at the highest point. It weighs in at a hefty 440g but, since this isn’t (typically) a toy you have to hold in your hand during use, its weight won’t be a problem for most people.

In Use

I knew I was going to love this toy the moment I looked at it. It’s got so many things I like: a raised section, soft and squishy silicone, and plenty of texturing.

Here’s what I didn’t expect: it is by far the closest a sex toy has ever come to mimicking cunnilingus for me. No, I didn’t see that coming either!

I thought that the highest point in the middle of the tentacle was going to be my favourite part of this toy. However, I soon realised that if I grind against it just right, the tongue-like tip of the tentacle flicks back and forth over my clit like… well, like a tongue. With plenty of lube, it’s a surprisingly good approximation of cunnilingus.

Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II from fantasy sex toys range

The orgasms I have from this toy are less like the orgasms I have from other grinders and more like the orgasms I have from a partner going down on me.

I always thought that, if a toy ever did actually get close to feeling like receiving oral sex, it would be a suction toy. Many claim to do this, though none have yet succeeded. I did not expect that it would be a grinder shaped like a tentacle. But there you have it – if I want something that kinda feels like a partner going down on me and I don’t have a willing partner available, this is what I’m reaching for.

The other great selling point of the Tentacle Grinder II is its height. With some lower grinders, I’ve found myself struggling to get into the right position or having to use a pillow or mount to bring the toy closer to my body. No such problems here. I can simply place it under me in a lying position and grind against it comfortably.

Tentacle Grinder II + Bullet Vibrator

Confession: the first couple of times I used this toy, I completely forgot to try it with the bullet vibrator. That’s because it is so damn good even without it. Still, I thought I’d better test it both with and without the vibrator to give you all the fullest possible review.

I opted for the premium bullet option, which is the Nu Sensuelle Bullet Point. This plastic bullet is waterproof, rechargeable, and has 10 constant speeds and 10 patterns. For its price-point (it costs just £35 to add one of these to your Uncover Creations order), this is a shockingly good bullet vibrator. It’s powerful and surprisingly rumbly! Of course, you can also use any bullet vibrator you already own, if you prefer.

Nu Sensuelle bullet point bullet vibrator

I wasn’t sure how well the Tentacle Grinder II would transmit the bullet’s vibrations given the thickness of its silicone. But it actually does so incredibly well and I can still get plenty of sensation from the bullet even through the thickest part of the grinder.

It is a shame the bullet isn’t a remote control one, because having to manually change the settings when you’re riding the toy can be quite annoying and fiddly. It also has one of those annoying one-button interfaces.

Overall, I’m glad I got the bullet with my Tentacle Grinder II as it provides some different stimulation options. But it’s also not strictly necessary because this toy performs so damn well on its own. Since I got it, I’ve used the vibrator less than half the times I’ve used the grinder.

Pro tip: make your life much easier by applying a bit of lube to the bullet before you insert it into the grinder. Trust me, it’ll go in and come out so much more quickly and easily if you do.

Verdict

At this point it doesn’t even matter that I’m not into tentacles for their own sake. Because I am so, so, so into this thing specifically! I do not say this lightly, because I have reviewed around 200 toys at this point and tried hundreds more: the Tentacle Grinder II is one of the best sex toys I have ever tried.

The basic Tentacle Grinder II begins at £60 and comes with a set of black straps. Optional customisations such as custom colours, different strap options, a vibrating bullet hole, an included vibrator, and the “silky smooth finish” come with additional costs.

Thanks to Uncover Creations for sending me the Tentacle Grinder II to review. Affiliate links appear in this post and all reviews are, as always, my own.

Womanizer Next review title image

[Toy Review] Womanizer Next

Published on by Amy

Can you believe it’s 10 years since Womanizer released their first Pleasure Air clitoral stimulator into the world? That product brought a whole new category of sex toys into popular consciousness and launched a thousand copycats. To celebrate 10 years, the company has released their latest offering: the Womanizer Next.

How does it stack up? Let’s take a look, shall we?

Womanizer Next Clitoral Suction Stimulator: What’s New?

The Womanizer Next is the latest in Womanizer’s long line of clitoral suction stimulators based on their patented “Pleasure Air” technology. If you’re not familiar with this type of toy, they feature a nozzle that goes over your clit and then stimulates it with rapid air pulses.

The Womanizer Next comes in sleek and sexy packaging that adds to the overall luxury vibe of the product. In the box you’ll find the toy, the charging cable, a storage bag, a spare nozzle, and an instruction leaflet.

Womanizer Next in its packaging

This toy is rechargeable with a full charge taking around 2 hours and giving you about the same in battery life. It’s also IPX7 waterproof (submersible in up to 1 metre of water).

At first glance, the Womanizer Next and Womanizer Premium bear a strong resemblance. They also retail for a similar price: £179.99/$199 for the Premium and £189.99/$219 for the Next. But what’s special about the Next and how is it similar and different from the Premium?

Womanizer Premium and Womanizer Next
The Womanizer Next (right) with the Womanizer Premium

Womanizer Next vs. Premium: Similarities

  • The two toys are the same basic shape, design, and interface, though the Next is slightly larger than the Premium.
  • Both feature a soft, silicone-coated body and body-safe silicone interchangeable nozzles.
  • Both offer 14 intensity settings.
  • Both come with Smart Silence technology (which means the toy will only operate when it’s in close contact with the body) and an Autopilot mode which guides you through a pre-set sequence of stimulation levels.

Womanizer Next vs. Premium: Differences

This is where things get interesting! The Womanizer Next offers an array of new features alongside those old favourites from the Premium.

  • The latest technology enhancement, 3D Pleasure Air, allows you to control not only the speed/intensity of the suction but also the “depth.” With 14 intensity settings and 3 depth settings – controlled by a separate button – it’s highly customisable.
  • The “Afterglow” function allows you to immediately switch to the lowest setting after orgasm.
  • The new, redesigned motor provides slower pulses than previous Womanizer toys and a “linear, up-and-down movement”. Supposedly this provides a more realistic sensation that more closely mimics oral sex (which… we’ll pick apart later.)

Overall, if you’re choosing between the two products, I’d advise you to go for the Next. You’re only paying £10/$20 more, and you get several great new features for that small price difference.

The Next also comes in two new colourways, Sage and Dark Purple, as well as black.

Womanizer Next: Pros

I had high expectations for the Womanizer Next. I’ve tried many Womanizer products over the years and, despite some occasional missteps, there have been far more hits than misses.

Womanizer Next back view

So what were the best things about this one?

  • That depth function! It’s perfect for ramping things up just at the moment when you need a tiny bit more. Each of the three depth settings feels noticeably different on all the toy’s speeds.
  • The Afterglow feature is genuinely brilliant. Many people, including me, find that their clit gets over-sensitive immediately after orgasm. Being able to switch to the lowest setting and continue enjoying a level of stimulation that’s comfortable is a game-changer.
  • The two nozzles provided are slightly different sizes, making the toy suitable for more bodies. The slightly larger one works best for me.
  • I love the slower air pulses, which give a gentler level of stimulation to start with. Great for warm-up or just for high sensitivity days.
  • I can easily use it hands-free just by kinda holding it between my thighs. This is unusual, but suction toys often work best for me with my legs closed rather than spread. I suspect it’s because so much of the focus is on the head of the clit and this position kinda brings everything closer together.
  • The Smart Silence feature isn’t particularly useful to me – I share a house with a partner who knows all about my masturbation habits! – but may be highly useful to those who need to be more discreet.
  • The button placement is intuitive and the interface is simple to use despite the toy’s many features.
  • It works beautifully in water, creating a kind of “swirling” feeling that is absolutely divine.
  • Most importantly, this thing got me off hard and fast. I’ll say this for Womanizer: they’re reliable when it comes to inducing leg-shaking, sheet-soaking, neighbour-scaring orgasms.

Womanizer Next: Downsides

With all of those great things said, was there anything I didn’t like about the Womanizer Next?

  • I still can’t say I see the point of the Autopilot feature. I guess it’s a little more like receiving stimulation from a partner because the toy changes intensity without input from you? However, unlike a partner, the toy cannot respond to your reactions so the changes are essentially random. And if it shifts down at the wrong moment, that seems like a recipe for ruined orgasms and frustration. (Of course, that might be your kink. In which case have fun.)
  • The buttons are not as clicky or easy to press as on previous Womanizer models.
  • I’m annoyed by the “designed for multiple orgasms” marketing. Not everyone can have multiples! Not everyone WANTS to have multiples! Stop being prescriptive. This is less egregious than “orgasm guaranteed” but it’s still… not great.
  • It is not, despite the packaging and product listing’s claims, “noiseless.” Yes, it’s very quiet on the lower settings. However, on the higher settings (and particularly once the top depth settings get involved) I would say it’s average-to-loud.

No, It Still Doesn’t Feel Like Cunnilingus

I’m calling it: it is not possible, with the technology we currently have available, to design a sex toy that accurately and realistically replicates the feeling of receiving cunnilingus.

Yes, using a clit sucker is much closer to cunnilingus than other forms of stimulation (e.g. masturbation with fingers or vibrators.) It kinda sorta resembles the “sucking” motion that a partner might make on your clit. It’s the closest way for me to scratch that particular itch if I’m craving cunnilingus and do not have a willing partner available. However, it cannot replicate the warmth, wetness, or overall feel of a mouth.

I really wish companies would stop marketing toys in this way, because it just feeds unrealistic expectations. This is a great product, but it is not in any meaningful way an “oral sex simulator.” I am sure such a thing will exist one day, but it doesn’t yet.

Verdict

The Womanizer Next is, like many of its predecessors, seriously pricey. However, it does offer a lot of bang for your buck (so to speak) in terms of features, functionality, and effectiveness. It’s a great next generation of an already excellent product and a worthy celebration of Womanizer’s 10th anniversary!

The Womanizer Next is available from Lovehoney UK* and Lovehoney US*, and of course Womanizer themselves.

[*] Use code AFF-COFFKINK10 to get 10% off

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product, which features in their top sex toys for Valentine’s Day! Affiliate links appear in this post. All views are, as always, mine.

Bijoux Indiscrets CBD Arousal Oil and Oral Sex Oil review header image

[Better Sex Products Review] Bijoux Indiscrets CBD Arousal Oil and CBD Oral Sex Oil

Published on by Amy

Cannabidiol, or CBD, is all the rage at the moment. This non-psychoactive and now legal (in many places, including the UK) compound found in the cannabis plant is touted as having all kinds of incredible benefits, from reducing anxiety to helping with chronic pain… and, yes, improving your sex life.

I am, it’s fair to say, rather cynical about such things. I don’t tend to believe amazing claims unless there’s amazing evidence to back them up. Maybe CBD really is a magical cure for all kinds of ills, and the science will prove it over the coming years. Or maybe it’s a very expensive and overhyped placebo. The reality, I imagine, in somewhere in the middle – it probably has some genuine benefits, and it’s probably been overhyped.

I wrote a little more here summarising very briefly what some of the available data says about CBD and sex so far. All this to say that I am approaching CBD-infused sex products, such as CBD lubes and oils, with a healthy amount of both curiosity and skepticism.

Bijoux Indiscrets recently offered me two new products to try: their Arousal Oil with CBD and their CBD Oral Sex Oil. But did they live up to their claims?

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex CBD sex oils: Arousal Oil and Oral Sex Oil in their packaging

Bijoux Indiscrets Arousal Oil with CBD

Slow Sex Arousal Oil with CBD from Bijoux Indiscrets is made up of a range of natural oils and extracts including Coco-Caprylate/Caprate (an emollient derived from coconut oil), Olea Europaea Fruit Oil (AKA olive oil), shea butter, soybean oil, castor seed oil, and a number of others. Bijoux is an all-vegan company and uses only plant-derived ingredients.

Bijoux Indiscrets CBD arousal oil

The idea of the Arousal Oil is simple: apply it to your vulva and clitoris before sex or masturbation. The CBD, so it is claimed, may help to increase natural lubrication as well as stimulating blood flow to the area to increase sensitivity.

I did feel as though I experienced an increase in sensitivity when I applied a few drops of this arousal oil to my clitoris and labia and then waited a few minutes. When I touched myself, I was incredibly wet and sensitive and I reached orgasm very quickly. So from that perspective, yes, it worked!

Some sources I looked at claim that CBD is a vasodilator (something that opens the blood vessels, improving blood flow), which would go some way to explaining this effect. Others, however, claim that CBD without THC – that’s Tetrahydrocannabinol, or the high-inducing compound in cannabis – has few if any vasodilatory effects.

So what happened, then? Maybe the CBD had a direct causal effect on my arousal and sensitivity, and maybe it didn’t. Some of the other ingredients may have had an effect. The simple act of rubbing something on my genitals while in a sexual headspace might even have been the cause. Then, of course, there’s the potential for a placebo effect. At some point,I’d love to set up a blind experiment with this stuff and regular oil-based lube to see if there’s any difference when I don’t know which one I’m using.

Also worth noting that this product is only 1% CBD. That’s the equivalent of 0.3ml of CBD in a standard 30ml tube. That is, by anyone’s definition, a tiny CBD concentration and has left me a little doubtful that the CBD itself was the main cause of the effects I experienced.

The oil has a fairly strong and distinctive scent that I can best describe as “floral.” It’s fine, not really my sort of thing but not unpleasant either. Be careful when using the pump top bottle because it has a tendency to squirt out suddenly and go everywhere! I also found that my fingers felt quite sticky after applying this oil and I wanted to wash it off my hands as quickly as possible (neurodivergent sensory issues!? Me!?)

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Arousal Oil with CBD retails for £34/€38 for a 30ml bottle.

Bijoux Indiscrets CBD Oral Sex Oil

The Bijoux Indiscrets Oral Sex Oil contains far fewer ingredients than the Arousal Oil. It’s just sweet almond oil, coconut oil, cannabis sativa seed oil, CBD, peppermint oil, limonene and linalool. This product, too, is only 1% CBD.

Bijoux Indiscrets CBD oral sex oil

The instructions say to apply a few drops to your lips and genitals, so that’s what I did. I was hoping I might feel some noticeable effect on my lips, such as tingling or an increase in sensitivity. Sadly, I didn’t feel much of anything even after several minutes and a reapplication.

It was the same when I tried it on my vulva and clit. The oil worked quite nicely as a simple lubricant, making everything pleasantly slippery. However, I did not notice any increase in sensitivity, sensation, or pleasure on any of the occasions that I tried it. This was a surprise, actually, since – whatever I do or don’t believe about CBD – peppermint-based products have worked well for me in the past.

The taste and smell of the Slow Sex Oral Sex Oil oil isn’t at all unpleasant. The overwhelming impression is of it being kind of minty. However, when I’m going down on a lover I want to be able to taste and smell them. (See also: why I don’t like flavoured lubes.)

Close up of CBD oil dropper with oral sex oil

Unlike the Arousal Oil, the Oral Sex Oil comes with a little eye dropper applicator. This makes it easier to apply to your lips and genitals with precision and without spilling it everywhere. It’s much less sticky than the Arousal Oil and didn’t give me the same sensory “ick.”

BIjoux Indiscrets Oral Sex Oil with CBD retails for £22/€25 for a 15ml bottle.

A Quick Word of Caution

Because they are oil-based, these products are not compatible with latex or polyisoprene. Don’t use them if you’re using safer sex barriers, such as condoms or dams, made from these materials. They’re okay to use with polyurethane, though.

Verdict

I remain intrigued but cynical about CBD in general, and for sex in particular. The available information is interesting, but far from conclusive. I’ve also now had a number of different experiences with different CBD products, and the wildly varying results tell me something in and of themselves.

If there was a simple causal relationship between CBD-containing products and increased arousal, boosted sensitivity, or faster and harder orgasms, surely I would experience that reliably every time in much the same way that I experience a reduction in pain every time I take a paracetamol?

The verdict, then? It’s complex and I wish there was more – and more reliable – data to draw on.

Ultimately though, if something works for you, I think that’s valuable in itself. I can’t explain why the CBD Arousal Oil worked for me (or why the Oral Sex Oil didn’t!) I suspect it has to do with a number of factors: the other ingredients, my headspace at the time, my level of cynicism, and possibly even the CBD itself.

All I can tell you about is my experience. Why not try it for yourself and see how you get on?

Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me these products to review. All views, as always, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header for review of BestVibe tongue vibrators

[Toy Review] Four BestVibe Tongue Vibrators

Published on by Amy

Tongue vibrators are having a moment in a big way. In our ongoing quest to find a sex toy that feels like receiving cunnilingus (more on that below), companies are coming up with more and more interesting – and occasionally outlandish – variations on the tongue vibrator theme.

BestVibe, who have kindly sponsored a series of posts, have a large array of tongue vibrators in their catalogue. They sent me four to try out, compare and contrast, and ultimately judge for which one is my favourite.

Let’s go.

Selection of BestVibe tongue vibrators in their boxes

A Note on My Review Criteria

I’ve said this before and I’ll repeat it here: there is absolutely no such thing as a toy that genuinely feels like receiving cunnilingus from a partner. (I wish there was, because I would pay serious cash moneys for that product!) It just does not exist. Sex toy technology is not there yet.

Therefore, I will NOT be grading these toys on the extent to which they mimic cunnilingus. That is an unfair and currently impossible standard. Instead, I will grade them on the basis of factors such as:

  • Materials
  • Design and aesthetic
  • Functionality
  • Feel
  • Power
  • Volume
  • Effectiveness (e.g. “did it get me off?”)

I’ll share the pros and cons of each product and give it a score out of 10.

Tongue Vibrator #1: “Rose Low Noise 5 Thrusting & Vibrating 7 Tongue Licking Vibrator” ($39.44)

BestVibe rose vibrator tongue sex toy

Find it here.

Pros

  • Made of body-safe silicone,
  • It looks like a rose, which is kind of cute.
  • Double-ended toy: features both a tongue for clitoral stimulation and a thrusting shaft for G-spot play.
  • You can use both the features at the same time (great for sharing, I guess, though I can’t quite picture how the physics of that would work in practice) or separately (far more practical.)

Cons

  • The tongue is far too rigid. Even on the lowest setting, it just HURTS. It’s a hard pointy thing flicking back and forth against your clit, and it’s exactly as unpleasurable as that sounds.
  • The thrusting mechanism only moves about an inch and its movement is severely hampered by my vaginal walls when it’s actually inside me.
  • The claim of “low noise” is hilariously untrue. It has the typical whining sound of any thrusting toy and the tongue part makes a distracting sort of buzz/rattle.

Verdict

Bad. 2/10.

Tongue Vibrator #2: Fiona Rose Clit Licking & Vibrating Stimulator Multifunctional Vibrator ($39.99)

BestVibe double ended vibrator rose tongue sex toy

Find it here.

Pros

  • Made of body-safe silicone.
  • The softer, more flexible tongue actually feels amazing on my clit.
  • The “come hither” motion of the insertable end is excellent for G-spot stimulation.
  • Each end can be controlled separately or used together.
  • The long stem/cord design allows for more flexibility of positioning and more possibilities in using both ends at once if you want to.
  • The flicking tongue end is very quiet when used by itself.

Cons

  • The vibrations are very buzzy.
  • Annoying mechanical whine when the G-spot stimulator is turned on.
  • I’d have preferred fewer patterns and another level or two of continuous “licking.”

Verdict

Surprisingly decent. 6/10.

Tongue Vibrator #3: Beinlove Tongue Lick Rabbit Clitoris Nipple Vibrator ($73.84)

BestVibe rabbit tongue vibrator

Find it here.

Pros

  • The soft, flicking, textured tongue feels fantastic on my clit.
  • Fully waterproof.
  • Comes with two different size suction cups to accommodate different bodies and uses.

Cons

  • Extremely weird and baffling aesthetic. Why does it have a bunny face and ears? How is that necessary? (Have we just inextricably associated rabbits with sex toys now… and can we please stop?)
  • The clear cup part is supposed to provide a seal and stimulate the entire vulva via vacuum suction, but it just… doesn’t. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t get a seal. I suspect this might be because I have pubic hair. But if a sex toy relies on the user having no pubic hair in order to use it, then it is a badly designed sex toy.
  • The suction cups don’t attach very well to the main toy. They’re either half falling off, or trapping the tongue so it doesn’t move properly.
  • The noise. Dear god, the whining squeaking noise.
  • The tongue and suction cups, i.e. the parts that actually come into contact with the body, are made of TPE rather than silicone. This is a porous material that will harbour bacteria and degrade over time.

Verdict

Interesting idea, poor execution. 4/10.

Tongue Vibrator #4: Helran 10 Vibrating & 7 Tongue Licking G Spot Stimulator ($79.99)

BestVibe licking tongue vibrator

Find it here.

Pros

  • Made of body-safe silicone.
  • Steady and consistent licking motion that feels great when combined with plenty of lube. I prefer using the flat side rather than the pointier tip, but your mileage may vary of course.
  • Actually made me cum! The only one of the 4 that did. It was a slow build and I think I’d need to be both very turned on already and quite patient, but it can actually get me there. So that’s nice given that, you know, it’s kinda the entire point of a sex toy.
  • It warms up to 42C in use, which feels really nice.
  • Some of the different pattern settings actually feel good! Knowing how I feel about patterns generally, this was a pleasant surprise.

Cons

  • It’s a giant disembodied tongue. It has VEINS and everything. This toy feels the best of the four by far, but its aesthetic is nightmare fuel.
  • There is absolutely no universe in which this is a G-spot stimulator. You COULD stick it inside yourself if you wanted, I guess, but the angle and type of stimulation is all wrong to do anything to a G-spot.
  • The silicone is very grabby. This means it’s prone to picking up lint and dust and such. It also means you’ll need a LOT of lube to have a good time.
  • Squeaky as fuck.

Verdict

Surprising no-one more than me, this one is actually the winner! A respectable 7/10.

This post was sponsored by BestVibe. My readers can enjoy 20% off all products in their store by using code “coffee” at checkout! All writing and views are, as always, my own.

Lovegasm Seductive Rose Vibrator review header

[Toy Review] Lovegasm Seductive Rose Vibrator

Published on by Amy

Rose sex toys seem to be all the rage at the moment, possibly largely thanks to one such product going viral on TikTok in early 2021. Since then, many different variations on the theme have come out from various companies, some of which I’ve tested in the past. This week, I received another of these toys to try out: the Seductive Rose Vibrator from Lovegasm.

Lovegasm Seductive Rose Vibrator: Details

The Lovegasm Seductive Rose Vibrator is not actually a vibrator in the strictest sense of the word. It’s a clitoral “suction” toy, meaning that it has an open nozzle and delivers stimuation to the clitoris via pulses of air. This petite toy measures just 2.6″ from base to top, and 2.3″ in diameter at the widest point. The nozzle is 0.5″ in diameter. It’s light and easy to hold, coming in at a petite 124g.

The charging time is around 75 minutes, and you’ll get 75-90 minutes use out of a full charge. The Seductive Rose Vibrator has a waterproof rating of IPX4, meaning it is splashproof but you should not submerge it in water.

seductive rose vibrator from Lovegasm

In the box you’ll also find a magnetic USB charging stand, an instruction leaflet, and a drawstring storage bag,

The Seductive Rose Vibrator is coated in 100% soft and body-safe silicone. Confusingly, the box it came in claims the material is “silica gel”, which is a different thing entirely. I flame-tested the toy and the results indicate real silicone, which is what I already suspected from the look and feel of the material, so you can use it with confidence.

If you like pretty toys, you’ll love this one. The toy is a lovely deep red and the silicone is fashioned into delicate rose petals at the top.

Settings and Controls

The Seductive Rose offers 3 constant speeds and 7 patterns. You control these through a single button interface located just below the centre of the toy’s main body. The button is easy to press and responsive. It also lights up, making it easy to see if you’re playing in low light.

seductive rose vibrator from Lovegasm

I would have preferred both-ways controls to switch between settings. However, I can forgive that oversight in a toy at this price-point.

Does it Feel Like Cunnilingus?

These types of suction-based sex toys are often marketed as oral sex simulators. While I sort of understand where the thinking behind this is coming from, it’s just not really accurate. Cunnilingus is a very, very difficult think to effectively mimic with a sex toy. Despite valiant efforts, I’m not sure any toy manufacturer has succeeded yet.

seductive rose vibrator from Lovegasm

So does the Seductive Rose Vibrator feel like receiving cunnilingus? No. That doesn’t mean it’s not a good toy, but it means I cannot get behind the claim that the Seductive Rose Vibrator will “satisfy your craving for oral action.” I’ve used enough pressure wave toys at this point that I don’t go in expecting them to feel like cunnilingus. A beginner to this type of toy might not know that, though, and I don’t think this kind of marketing is helpful.

In Use

With the above said, I actually think the Seductive Rose Vibrator is a great toy! The motor is strong enough to get the job done, and the range of settings allows you to explore with different sensations. I also like that the smaller nozzle allows for intensely focused and targeted clitoral stimulation. This is such an easy toy to use – I pretty much just switch it to my favourite setting, put it in place, and hold it there until I come. Bliss!

seductive rose vibrator from Lovegasm

Here’s a little pro tip for you: if a toy like this one is too intense when you place it directly over your clit, try positioning it over the hood instead. You’ll still get all that focused sensation, but with a little less intensity.

The Seductive Rose Vibrator isn’t too loud, coming in at around 60 dB at its loudest. If it’s switched on and the door is closed, it cannot be heard in the next room.

Thanks to its light weight, the Seductive Rose is easy to angle and position. It is comfortable to hold in place even for an extended session. It’s worth bearing in mind that the nozzle is on the smaller side. Genitals, like all body parts, come in different shapes and sizes and this toy might not be a good fit if you have a larger glans clitoris (that’s the external bit.)

Verdict

The Seductive Rose retails for just £34, making it an excellent budget-friendly sex toy. With body-safe materials, a decent motor, multiple settings to choose from, and an attractive design, it’s got everything you need in a basic clitoral toy at an affordable price-point.

This review was sponsored by Lovegasm.co, meaning I was paid to test the toy and give my honest opinion. All views are, as always, my own. Don’t forget to check out Lovegasm’s full catalogue of products!

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex part 2 review image

[Massage & Better Sex Products Review] Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Part 2

Published on by Amy

As a quick reminder, Slow Sex is a range of lubes, gels, and other “better sex” products by Bijoux Indiscrets. They are beautifully packaged in stylish boxes and include zero gendered terminology on either the packaging or the website. With the exception of the oral sex strips, they’re all scented with coconut.

Collection of Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex products

If you missed part 1 of my review of several items from the Slow Sex range, check it out! Otherwise, I’m so glad you’re back for part 2! Let’s go.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm

Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm

I was highly sceptical about the Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm, as was Mr CK. But we kept an open mind and decided to give it a fair chance. It comes in a 10ml tube and I was expecting a liquid or thin gel, but it’s really more of a thick paste. I had to massage it between my fingers to get it to melt enough to use.

The packaging suggests applying Oral Sex Balm to your lips right before giving a blow job, or applying it directly to the penis. To get the full effect, we did both. I’m not sure most people would feel much if you only did the former.

First, the good: it definitely had an effect! My partner described it as a cooling sensation, which is likely caused by the menthol it contains. When you’re doing oral sex, the contrast between this cooling and the warmth of a mouth can be very interesting. He also reported that it did increase sensitivity slightly, and that it felt like sensation continued after the point of orgasm. So that was cool! It’s reasonably easy to wash off with warm water and soap.

Then the less-good: Since this is an oil-based product, it’s not suitable for use with any latex barriers. And given that I wouldn’t want several of the ingredients in my vagina, it also means it’s not really possible to go from oral to vaginal sex without cleaning up in between. I really dislike the sensation of anything oily or sticky on my hands, so I had to wipe this off with a tissue immediately after applying it.

Also worth noting: the coconutty/minty smell and taste is VERY potent. It’s certainly not unpleasant but if, like me, you like to experience the scent and taste of your partner’s body, this is definitely going to mask that.

Overall, a mixed experience but definitely more positive than we were expecting.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm retails for €14.95.

Slow Sex Full Body Massage Gel

Slow Sex massage gel

The Slow Sex Full Body Massage Gel comes in an attractive glass bottle. With 50ml in the bottle, it definitely feels like one of the more substantial Slow Sex products. This oil-based gel is designed for all-over massage.

The packaging says you can use it “anywhere and everywhere” and the website describes it as genital-compatible, so if your massage turns erotic you’re good to go. Again, I’d recommend that you keep it external only. This massage gel is also suitable for use in water and is compatible with silicone sex toys and latex barriers.

This is probably my favourite product in the entire Slow Sex range. It is slick without being sticky, and does not leave any nasty residue behind. As a bonus, it leaves my skin feeling lovely and moisturised (and coconut scented!) It also lasts ages, as a little bit goes a long way once it’s on the skin.

I also love that it comes in a pump bottle, which is much more user-friendly and less spillage-prone than the bottles massage oils usually come in.

Slow Sex Full Body Massage Gel retails for €19.95.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Strips

Bijoux Indiscrets oral sex strips

If you’re asking “what on earth is an oral sex strip?”, well so was I! Turns out they’re little paper-thin minty strips that are designed to go on your tongue and then melt while you’re performing oral sex. Like the Oral Sex Balm, they have a strong minty flavour (spearmint oil is one of the main ingredients.) They taste like something you’d use to brush your teeth or freshen your breath.

The sensation is… interesting. Much like the Oral Sex Balm, the main appeal is that they provide a contrast between the cooling sensation and the warmth of a mouth. However, they melt very quickly so the intense effect only lasts for maybe a minute or so. You do get some of the effect for a while afterwards as the mint lingers on your body, but you only get maybe a maximum of 5 minutes out of each strip.

They were fine, but I wasn’t blown away. I did find that they heightened sensitivity somewhat, but not to such an extent that they can make or break the experience. And to be honest, I’m going to repeat something I said above – if I’m going down on a lover, I want to taste them, not a mouthful of mint.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Strips retail for €4.95 for 7.

Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me these products to test in exchange for an honest review.

Header image for a review of the Sohimi Mini Tongue Vibrator

[Toy Review] Sohimi Mini Tongue Vibrator

Published on by Amy

[Update 31/10/23: this toy appears to have been discontinued. Dead links have been removed accordingly.]

There are some sex acts that are relatively easy to mimic with toys, such as penetrative sex. There are others which are more difficult, though companies have tried valiantly – the blowjob being one such example. And then there are acts that it is seemingly impossible to replicate with a toy. Exhibit A: cunnilingus.

Suction toys have claimed for years that they simulate oral sex. Toys like the Sqweel have tried and, if the reviews are to be believed, largely failed. Today I’m reviewing the Sohimi Mini Tongue Vibrator, another toy that claims to simulate cunnilingus. But how did it fare? Let’s find out!

Sohimi Mini Tongue Vibrator

The Sohimi Tongue Vibrator is a mini clit tickler toy, featuring a large rounded base topped with a small flickering tongue. When the toy is on, the tongue oscillates or flicks rapidly back and forth.

Sohimi Mini Tongue Vibrator purple clitoral vibrator
Image credit: Sohimi

When I unboxed this toy, the first thing that struck me was how small it is. Yes, I know it’s called a mini vibrator, but I wasn’t expecting it to be quite this small. It measures a petite 3″ in height and 2″ in diameter. The tongue is about 1″ long. Thanks to its tiny size, it is super light and fits neatly in my small hand.

The best way I can describe this toy is to say that it reminds me of a cross between a flower and one of those plastic candles with artificial flames that you get on restaurant tables.

Sohimi tongue vibrator for women and people with vulvas

The Sohimi Mini Tongue Vibrator is 100% waterproof and rechargeable via the included USB charging base. It is made of body-safe and surprisingly soft matte silicone in an attractive shade of purple. And yes, it’s definitely real silicone!

Does it feel like cunnilingus?

I… no.

The thing about cunnilingus is that it’s not just about the back and forth flicking sensation of a tongue. It’s actually a combination of many different sensations – the warmth and wetness of a lover’s mouth, the feel of their hot breath on your bits, that moment when they bury their whole face between your legs as if they want to devour you. So much of what makes cunnilingus great just cannot be replicated with a toy.

So no, the Sohimi Mini Tongue Vibrator does not really feel like oral sex. But that doesn’t mean it’s a bad toy.

But does it feel good?

Yes, it actually does!

Given how choosy my clit is and how much of a power-queen I tend to be, I was a little skeptical to begin with. Would a tiny little clitoral vibrator costing $27 be able to do anything for me?

Well, I am happy to report that it did! The flickering motion feels fantastic and distinctly different from a traditional vibrator. The tongue is structured yet flexible, so it’s ideal for those who love pinpoint stimulation but want something a bit gentler than a hard plastic vibrator.

Flickering tongue vibrator clitoral sex toy

It took a little experimenting to get it right. My clitoral glans is extremely sensitive and direct stimulation is usually too intense to be pleasurable. In the end, I discovered that the most pleasurable way for me to use the Mini Tongue Vibrator was to allow the tongue to flicker against the side of my clit. (The left side is more pleasurable on my body, don’t ask me why.) So if you get one of these, take the time to experiment and try out different placements to see what works for you.

Pro tip: this is a toy that you really need to use lube with. Without it (even when I was quite wet) I found the tongue flicking action uncomfortable. Add a very generous blob of water-based lube to the tongue itself and/or your vulva before you start, and reapply as necessary.

Controls and Interface

The Sohimi Mini Tongue Vibrator operates on a one-button interface, which sits in the centre of the toy’s base and is easy to press. Hold it for two seconds to turn on, cycle through the patterns with quick presses, then hold it for a further two seconds to turn off.

The Mini Tongue Vibrator has 10 settings total: 3 constant speeds and 7 patterns. I think it’s well-known by now that I don’t generally care for patterns much. This is a “stick it on the highest constant setting and leave it there” toy for me.

Other Important Info

The Mini Tongue Vibrator is certainly not a silent toy, but its volume is well within the range of what I consider acceptable. It makes the same kind of low, consistent buzz as a mid-powered vibrator.

It’s also worth being aware that this toy isn’t really one that you can press hard into your vulva (or you can, but the flickering motion will be severely impeded.) Too much pressure and it will stop flicking or slow down a lot.

The pictures on the website seem to imply you can use this toy internally. Which, obviously, I had to try. The verdict? You technically can, but it probably won’t do anything. The tongue is so short that it can’t get even an inch inside the vagina so, unless you particularly enjoy stimulation right at your entrance, this is an external-only toy.

Final Verdict

I’m going to declare this one “surprisingly good for the price!” No, it doesn’t feel like cunnilingus, but it provides something a bit different to a standard vibrator that still feels really good. It’s also small, portable, and body-safe.

The Sohimi Mini Tongue Vibrator retails for $26.99.

Thanks to Sohimi Sex Toys for sponsoring this review. I was paid to provide my honest and unbiased thoughts – all opinions are my own.

A woman's hand grasping a sheet in orgasm

Men: Her Orgasm Is Not About Your Ego

Published on by Amy1 Comment

This is my third post of #Smutathon2018: #SmutForChoice Edition. Please donate to our page for Abortion Support Network, and don’t forget to leave your email address or Twitter handle so we can enter you into the raffle to win some awesome sex toys!

Dear Well-Meaning Cishet Man,

This one’s for you.

You’re a good guy, right? You care about your sexual partner’s pleasure, and her orgasms. You even eat pussy! When DJ Khaled’s comments surfaced about “different rules” for men re. oral sex, you probably tweeted furiously “I’M A GUY AND I LOVE EATING PUSSY”.

Well, okay. But slow down. I want you to read this with an open mind, and try not to feel attacked. That’s not my aim.

However, please – please – stop making your female partners’ orgasms about your ego! Let me explain.

When I started having partnered sex in my mid and late teens, my boyfriend compelled me to tell him I’d never had an orgasm before I met him. He’d decided this was the case.  Telling him it wasn’t seemed like it wouldn’t achieve anything but bruising his ego. He was very into the fantasy of me as the perfect innocent. So I went with it.

I think a lot of young women have similar experiences. Their (also young and often inexperienced) boyfriends want to feel like sex gods who introduce them to a world of pleasure they never knew existed before. They don’t want to hear “I’ve been having orgasms by myself for years”. This narrative is a big part of the Fifty Shades of Grey fantasy. Ana has not only never masturbated or had an orgasm. She’s never even thought a sexual thought until Christian “I-Don’t-Make-Love-I-Fuck-Hard” Grey deigns to deflower her.

How this played out for me was thus: he didn’t really know what I liked. I knew what I liked, but couldn’t tell him because then he’d known I’d – gasp – had sexual feelings and even touched myself before he showed up. So a long time was spent with him trying to get me off, and either getting pissed off that it took so long (when I got there at all) or me faking it because dude, it’s been two hours, my clit is rubbed raw. 

This is, of course, a sex education problem. We don’t teach young women that exploring their bodies is okay. We don’t teach boys that girls masturbate and hey, she might know a thing or two about her own body! Instead, we glorify this notion of “I’ve never felt anything like this before!” even when you’ve totally felt something like that before… a lot.

A big part of the problem, though, is that these attitudes don’t really change as we get older! I remember reading in a glossy magazine (it was probably Cosmo?) advice along the lines of “when he whips out a new move in bed, tell him you’ve never done that before, even though you totally did that with your ex”. (That’s how Cosmo talks, right?) The point is that women are still supposed to coddle our male partners’ egos to the point of straight-up lying to them, in order to pretend they’re the only person who has ever unlocked our sexuality.

This also plays out in other ways. I hang out on the Sex Toys forum at Reddit and also similar groups on Fetlife, and time and again men will post: “looking for a sex toy for my partner, but it needs to not be too big or powerful. Don’t want it to replace me!” But what if that big dildo or power-tool vibrator could give their partner the best, most explosive orgasms of her life? I guess it doesn’t matter – what they’re thinking about is not her pleasure, but being upstaged.

Men: women’s sexuality does not exist to stroke your ego! If your partner has a rich and fulfilling erotic life with herself, and/or had a rich and fulfilling erotic life with other partners before you came along, this doesn’t imply anything about you! When she uses toys, she’s not replacing you!

If you want your partner to never have masturbated (or to pretend she’s never masturbated,) or if you want your partner to have never had good sex with anyone else until you came along, you are not being sex positive. You are not being a good lover. You’re making your partner’s sexuality a receptacle for your ego.

And this brings me on to the Great Pussy Eating Debate of 2018, and the problems I see with it. Obviously, what DJ Khaled said was gross, as are all the other ridiculous things straight men have said about going down on people with vulvas. However, a lot of the responses pissed me off too. A lot of men felt the need to weigh in on how THEY always go down on their partners. Which… might seem harmless but is actually indicative of a particularly insidious form of virtue signalling that often comes into play around (particularly heterosexual) sex.

Prioritising your partner’s pleasure isn’t something to brag about. It’s the bare fucking minimum.

The other place I see this kind of ego-tripping manifest is around the issue of whether or not a woman orgasms during a sexual encounter with a man – and how that orgasm happens, if indeed there is one.

Too often, I hear “I want to make her cum from intercourse, no clitoral stimulation, what am I doing wrong?”.  What you’re doing wrong, my dude, is prioritising your fucking ego over her fucking orgasm. The vast majority of people with vulvas don’t experience orgasm from penetration alone. This is normal. What you need to do is realise you don’t actually have a problem that needs solving. Talk to your partner, and stimulate her fucking clit the way she likes.

Basically: sex is much better when you take your ego out of it. I promise.

Hand gripping a sheet with a condom next to it. Header for a post about why the things we call foreplay are actually just sex

I’m So Done with the Concept of “Foreplay”

Published on by Amy6 Comments

Controversial opinion time: foreplay is not a thing.

There’s a big problem with the concept of foreplay. I don’t mean the acts it entails – fingers, tongues, mouths, toys, making out, massages, undressing each other and more. All of those things, and many more, are wonderful and valid expressions of sexuality.

But those things? They are not foreplay. They are sex.

Let’s break this down. “Foreplay” implies that it comes before something – namely, of course, penis-in-vagina (hereafter PIV) sex. And this is problematic on a number of levels.

First of all it’s heteronormative as fuck. Not everyone is straight and cisgender. Not every sexual pairing consists of one penis and one vagina. The implication here is that only heterosexual, cisgender people have Real Sex (TM) and everything else is “merely” foreplay.

Secondly, and this may come as a shock – not all straight, cisgender people even like PIV sex! Even pairings of one penis-owner with one vagina-owner does not necessarily imply that PIV will be their favourite sexual activity or even part of their sexual repertoire at all.

I’ll let you in on a secret – even though I enjoy it, loads of the sex I have isn’t PIV focussed and it’s not my favourite thing. Most of the time I could quite happily do other things instead. Plenty of the sex me and the Mr C&K have together doesn’t involve penetrative fucking. Just last night, for example, he caned my ass then watched and talked dirty to me while I got myself off with my Doxy. And it was a wonderful and fulfilling session.

For various reasons, I’m only quite rarely having PIV sex with anyone other than Mr C&K right now. The sexual relationships I have with other people are still amazing, hot and fulfilling. And sometimes, this queer girl even fucks other people with vaginas! (Shocking, I know.) Those sexual encounters with other vagina-owners are not, I promise you, any less amazing than those with penis-owners.

When a partner bends me over their lap, spanks me until I’m dripping and then fingers me hard while telling me what a dirty slut I am? That’s sex. When I pin a girl down while my partner uses the Doxy on her until she cums and he doesn’t even take his pants off? That’s sex. When I’m playing with another woman and I go down on her and she finger-fucks me until we both cum? Sex. When he holds me and reads a filthy story to me or talks me through a hot fantasy while I touch myself? You guessed it… sex.

That’s why I want to kill the idea of foreplay forever. It places PIV as the pinnacle of sexual experience and everything else as something lesser, something not quite real, something before.

There is no such thing as this thing called “foreplay,” because there are a million things under this amazing, huge umbrella that we call “sex.”

This was my final post of #Smutathon2017. If you’ve enjoyed it, please donate to the amazing charities.