If you’re back again, welcome back. If you are just joining me now, I’m unboxing Lovehoney and Womanizer’s 24-day adult advent calendar. This set, aimed at couples, retails for £149 at Lovehoney UK and $199 at Lovehoney US and contains £457/$530 worth of products! You can read the entire series here.
For the next 24 days, I’ll open one door each day and tell you a little about the item inside in a mini review with product info, pros and cons.
This is Day 3.
Lovehoney Advent Calendar 2024 Day #3: Silicone Textured Dildo
Today’s box revealed a bright red silicone dildo with a curved shaft, gentle rippling texture on the underside, and slightly pronounced head. It also has a suction cup base and a hollow space where you can insert the bullet vibrator from Day 1.
Product Info
Material: Silicone
Colour: Scarlet red
Body safe? Yes, silicone is body-safe and non-porous
Waterproof: Yes, there is no motor and the material is non-porous so you can safely use this toy in water
Size: 6″ length, 1.2″ diameter at widest point
Speeds/patterns: N/A
Lube-compatible: Water-based lube is best
Cleaning: Sterile wipe, warm water and antibacterial soap, or boiling
Lovely curve, ideal for targeted G-spot or prostate stimulation
Large base makes the toy anal safe
Works with or without the bullet vibe from Day 1 (or any suitably sized bullet in your collection)
Texturing adds additional internal stimulation
Cons
Bullet vibe has a tendency to get stuck and be hard to remove (pro tip: lube it first!)
Base is too small for the toy to be harness-compatible
Verdict
A great basic textured dildo! These kits are really aimed at people who are newer to toys/sexual exploration, and this item’s thoughtful design and small-ish size make it ideal for a first dildo. I would like to see a slightly larger base to make it harness-compatible, though.
Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 24 day Lovehoney x Womanizer Sex Toy Advent Calendar to review. All views are mine (with occasional input from Mr C&K!) Affiliate links appear in this post.
Something I’ve noticed about alien dildos, tentacle dildos, and other fantasy sex toys is that they are often both enormously expensive and almost comically huge. Which is fine, of course, if size is your thing and you’re happy to drop a significant sum of money on a fantasy toy that meets that need. But what if you’re on a budget or just looking for something in a slightly more manageable size?
Introducing the Arbora Alien Dildos Range from Uncover Creations
Uncover Creations’ Arbora range of alien dildos comes in four different sizes, from extra small (5.1″ total length, 4.3″ insertable, 1.6″ diameter) up to large (10.2″ total length, 8.1″ insertable, 2.5″ diameter). They also range in price accordingly: £40 for x-small, £50 for small, £65 for medium, and £100 for large. Even at the largest size, this is a really competitive price compared to many other fantasy toy makers out there.
You can select your firmness rating, from medium-firm up to squishy soft, pick a colour/colour scheme or allow the company to surprise you, and add a vac-u-lock hole, suction cup, suction cup mount, or cum tube if you like. The resulting toy will be hand-poured to your selected preferences.
By the way: if you’re looking for some colourway inspiration, scroll down to the customer reviews section on the product page and you’ll see numerous happy customers showing off their creations.
The Arbora is a heavily textured fantasy dildo with a curved shape, a series of rippling ridges, a subtle “knot” towards the bottom of the shaft, and a tapered tip. All Arbora alien dildos are made from premium, body-safe and non-porous silicone.
What I Liked About the Uncover Creations Arbora
As soon as the UC team suggested it to me for my next review product, I had a feeling I was going to like the Arbora. Now it’s true that alien dildos and other fantasy creations aren’t really my kink, but I do enjoy trying out interesting shapes and textures. Here’s what I liked about the Arbora:
I requested the Arbora in a single surprise colourway, and the result did not disappoint. I received a lovely pearlescent pink that catches the light with a lilac-ish shimmer. Every toy I’ve had from this company has been truly beautiful, and I appreciate the extra effort they put into their presentation.
The texturing is just the right level. I’ve tried textured toys that were so intense they were painful, and textured toys where the texturing was so subtle I really couldn’t feel anything. The Arbora dildo is a happy medium – textured enough to be satisfying but not so over the top as to be uncomfortable.
The curved shape is perfect for getting that “come hither” motion.
When the toy is fully inserted, the two little “spikes” (I don’t really know what else to call them) protruding from the base provide a little additional external stimulation. They don’t really reach my clit, but they kind of tickle my vulva and labia.
The hooked tip provides precision G-spot stimulation.
The base is large and flat, meaning that the toy stands up by itself. If you want to position it on a surface and use it hands-free, this allows you to do that.
FYI if it’s your thing, you can also safely use the Arbora dildo anally.
Anything I Didn’t Like?
There really isn’t anything significant that I disliked about the Uncover Creations Arbora! One thing to be aware of, though, is that it’s firmer than I expected. I requested the “soft” firmness option but it’s still quite firm and doesn’t have much squish. If I was to order again, I’d probably go for “super soft” instead. If you’re not sure and you really need a softer toy, I recommend going down one firmness level.
It’s also worth noting that toys with heavy texturing can be a bit of a pain to clean. Due to all the little ridges and creases, I recommend using the boiling method to clean your Arbora alien dildos.
Verdict
Arbora is an excellent range of alien dildos with numerous customisation options available. I’d happy recommend them to anyone who enjoys textured or fantasy toys, and particularly to anyone who is looking for a fantasy toy in a smaller size and at an affordable price.
Those who read my work regularly will know that I have a mixed relationship with rabbit vibrators. I’ve trieda fewI liked and a lot I didn’t, but I very rarely reach for them as a preference. With that in mind, let’s find out how I got on with the Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator from The One.
The One Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator: Details
The One Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator is a toy in the classic “rabbit vibe” style. Its total length is 9.5″, its insertable length is around 5.5″, and its diameter is 1.5″ at the widest point. Its clitoral stimulator consists of two flexible ears.
The One Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator is USB rechargeable and waterproof. It is made of body-safe and non-porous silicone.
The One Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator: What I Liked
Before I get into all the things that annoyed me about this toy (and, as you’ll see from the section below, there are a lot!) I tried to find some things to like about it.
The thrusting function is decent. I can feel it consistently, it offers 10 different speed and pattern options, and its relatively short thrusting length is a great option for anyone who enjoys this sensation but does not enjoy getting poked in the cervix.
The flexibility of the clitoral stimulator makes it easy to position it correctly for your body.
The gentle curve and slight flex to the upper portion of the insertable arm makes the toy more comfortable to use and enables more precise G-spot targeting.
You can have the vibrations turned on without the thrusting function, and vice-versa, or you can use them together.
The One Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator: What I Didn’t Like
My ultimate complaint with this toy, as is so often the case, is just that it’s never going to give me an orgasm. Though I like the thrusting function, the motor is buzzy as hell and the vibrations aren’t particularly strong.
When are sex toy manufacturers going to understand that for a large majority of people with vulvas, clitoral stimulation isn’t an afterthought? It’s the main event that many, many, many of us require to orgasm.
Other things I didn’t like about The One Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator include:
One day, a company will come up with a way to make a thrusting toy that doesn’t make a horrible high-pitched whining noise. Sadly, today is not that day. Even though I like how thrusting toys feel, I rarely actually use them because this noise is just such an unpleasant sensory experience.
Though you can control the vibrations and the thrusting separately, you cannot control the vibrations in the ears and the shaft separately. This is a pretty major problem for anyone who, like me, finds internal vibrations more uncomfortable than pleasurable.
The ears are far too flexible and flimsy to give any significant clitoral stimulation. If you like any pressure at all, forget it.
The silicone around the base of the shaft is incredibly thin. This means that you can see and feel the mechanisms underneath. More egregiously, though, I’ve used this toy once and I have just discovered a tear in the silicone! That’s a pretty unforgiveable design flaw. It presents a risk of bacteria transfer and seriously calls into question the safety and quality of the entire product.
The rigidity of the lower portion of the insertable arm significantly limits positioning options.
It’s so pink. I’m not totally against pink in principle, but it’s massively overused in sex toys. Especially this glaringly bright, eye-hurting, practically-neon shade.
The charging time is 150 minutes (two and a half hours) and you only get around 50 minutes of use on a full charge.
Verdict
In and of itself, the One Thrusting Rabbit is an okay but unremarkable thrusting rabbit vibrator. The thrusting function is decent (the noise aside), but the motor is extremely buzzy and the lack of dual controls for the vibrations really pushes this one into more “miss” than “hit” for me. And, of course, the silicone tearing after one use is really, really bad.
Following yesterday’s review of The One Wand vibrator, I’m back with the next installment in this series of toy reviews featuring new brand The One. In the UK, The One is exclusively available at Sex Toys UK. Elsewhere in the world, you can find these products at various toy retailers including Good Vibes and Babeland. Next up is The One Flicker Vibe.
What is The One Flicker Vibe?
The One Flicker Vibe is a curved toy measuring just under 10″ in length and 1.42″ in diameter at the widest point. Made of smooth body-safe silicone, it is also waterproof and USB rechargeable. A two-hour charge gives around 90 minutes of use.
The One Flicker Vibe a single-shaft vibrator with two independent motors. What makes this toy unique is its silicone “tongue” at one end, which flicks rapidly back and forth. The other end is a fairly standard insertable vibrator featuring a series of gentle ridges.
I admit I mostly requested this one for review out of curiosity. My initial reaction when I saw it was “what!? …huh.” But is it actually any good?
The One Flicker Vibe: Pros
Let’s get the most important thing out of the way: does it feel good? Surprisingly (to me at least), it does. The One Flicker Vibe provides a rapid tapping sort of sensation against the G-spot, not unlike being fingered by someone with very good manual dexterity. As someone who doesn’t like the sensation of vibrations internally, this was a pleasant change: a motorised G-spot toy I can actually use and enjoy!
So what else did I like about the One Flicker Vibe?
The curved shape makes the toy comfortable to insert and makes it effortless to find (and keep contact with) the G-spot.
The vibrating end has a half-decent motor. It’s not super rumbly, but it at least has some power behind it.
The two-in-one design means that, if you decide you’re in the mood for vibrations rather than flicking or vice-versa, you can just switch motors and turn it around without needing to grab a different toy.
It is comfortable to hold, with well-placed and easy to press buttons.
It works just as well for clitoral stimulation. I haven’t found that the flicking motion against my clit can actually get me off, but it does feel really fucking good.
The One Flicker Vibe: Cons
The Flicker Vibe really is all about the flicker end for me. The regular vibrator end is fine, but not realistically something I’m likely to use with any kind of regularity.
There were also a few other gripes I had with this toy:
I don’t love the two-button interface. It’s good that you can control the flicker function and the vibrations separately, but makes it a pain to scroll through all the settings (three speeds and seven patterns per motor) to go backwards or find one you liked.
This toy is a nightmare to clean. It’s really hard to get around and behind the tongue to ensure it is completely clean. A very small brush that can get into all the crevices is probably your best bet.
It’s a little on the heavy side.
Also, I’m really annoyed that the copy on the box states you can use this toy for the “P-spot”, AKA the prostate. The Flicker Vibe does not have a flared base and therefore absolutely should not be used anally.
Verdict
This toy offers quite a specific sensation, which is great if you enjoy it but pretty useless if you don’t. (Well, not completely useless. You can still use the vibrating end. But there are cheaper and better basic vibrators on the market if that’s what you’re looking for.)
If you want a toy that somewhat mimics the sensation of fingers making a “come hither” motion inside you (and/or tapping against your clit), you’ll probably enjoy this one. I certainly did.
Thanks to Sex Toys UK for sending me this product to review. All views and writing are, as always, mine. If you shop through my affiliate links I make a small commission at no additional cost to you.
I don’t think I (or my vagina) was feeling particularly brave when I ordered the Mr Hankey’s Monster Dildo from the website, because I chose the smallest of four available sizes. Even so, I took it out of the box and my immediate reaction was “wow, this thing is huge!”
As with the Mr Hankey’s Perfect Penis, I cannot get my entire hand around this toy’s shaft.
So how did I get on with this monster of a realistic dildo? This is the third in my series of reviews for Mr Hankey’s Toys, who are also one of my site sponsors, winner of tonnes of adult industry awards, and all-round purveyors of stellar sex toys in both the fantasy and realistic categories.
Mr Hankey’s Toys Monster Dildo
The Mr Hankey’s Toys Monster Dildo in size medium measures 9.13″ in total length, 7″ in insertable length, and 2.46″ in diameter at the widest point. Again: this is the smallest size! The remaining sizes measure 11.38″, 13.5″, and 15.75″ in total length respectively, with corresponding girth increases. If you want serious size and lots of it, you’ve come to the right place.
This toy is made of body-safe silicone and available in an array of colours from skin tones to brights, metallics, and even UV-reactive shades. You can also choose different firmness levels, from very soft to extra firm, and add a vac-u-lock hole if you wish.
In terms of firmness, 75% firmness or medium will suit most users. 75% firm is supposed to resemble a bio-cock that is 75-80% erect, and many Mr Hankey’s customers report that it feels the most lifelike of the options. Medium is closer in firmness to a fully erect penis.
What I Liked About the Monster Dildo
I found this toy challenging to use. And that’s fine – sometimes a challenge can be fun! I do prefer girth over length (hitting my cervix = ow, bad pain!) though so I’d be more inclined to reach for a girthy toy like this one if I was in the mood for a large insertable. Overall, the girthy design is excellent for those who enjoy the sensation of a stretch, but don’t desire or enjoy excessive length.
This one takes a lot of warm-up and lube for me to use it comfortably. And even then, as I said, I’d describe the experience as challenging and seriously, seriously intense.
Let’s look at some of the specific features of the Monster Dildo that I enjoyed.
I really love the shade of purple and the shimmery effect from the metallic colourway.
This is a highly realistic toy, down to the skin texturing of the balls and the detailing around the head and foreskin. It was apparently life-cast from a real penis owned by a person simply known as “The Jackpot.”
At least at this size, it stands up on its own due to the size of the base. If you want to use the toy hands-free, this makes it easier to do so as you can simply put it on a firm surface and then “ride” it.
The gentle curve is ideal for targeting your G-spot or prostate. When I’m able to get the toy inside me, it presses firmly against my G-spot in a very enjoyable way.
At the firmness level I chose (75% soft or the second softest), it’s fairly squishy and flexible. For a toy of this size, that’s going to be essential for a lot of users. If you like a lot of flex, go softer. If you prefer more rigid toys, go firmer.
The large base makes it anal-safe, if that’s your thing. There was no universe in which this thing was going in my butt, but it can safely go in yours if you’d like. (Obligatory disclaimer: if you’re putting something of this size in your butt, go S L O W L Y. Use even more lube than you think you need. To be fair, that actually applies to vaginal use as well, but the butt isn’t self-lubricating so you’ll need to be even more careful.)
Anything I Didn’t Like?
Personally, I don’t like the pronounced ridge on the underside of the Monster Dildo’s shaft. Even with plenty of lubrication, I consistently found it made insertion uncomfortable. Once the toy was fully inserted, I could still feel the ridge in a way that was pretty distracting.
Like the other Mr Hankey’s Toys I’ve tried, the silicone is very matte. I would have preferred a smoother silicone for a toy of this size. With that said, a smoother silicone would lessen the realistic effect of the toy’s appearance, so it’s a trade-off. As you can probably see in the photos, it also gathers lint and dust.
The texturing can make the Monster Dildo take a little longer to clean. This isn’t really a problem, just something to be aware of. You’ll want to make sure you’ve got all bodily fluids and lube out of the little creases.
Due to its size, the Monster Dildo is also pretty heavy. It’s just about manageable at this size but I have to imagine that the larger versions could be quite difficult to hold and manipulate in use.
Verdict
Honestly, the final analysis is that even in the smallest size this toy is bordering on too large for me. And that’s fine – I am not really the target market for very large toys. But you might be, and this is an excellent choice if so! So many large toys are not body-safe, so it is nice to have somewhere to point my readers for oversized toys that are also safe and well-made.
And make no mistake, this is a beautifully designed toy. The attention to detail is excellent and the array of colours and effects on offer means that you can truly make it your own.
I like having this in my collection but I don’t think it will be going in my body very often. I can enjoy it occasionally, but it’s going to be a once-in-a-while thing and probably revolve around enjoying the challenge as part of a kink dynamic.
The Monster Dildo’s pricing begins at $140.95 for the size Medium in a standard colourway. Going up in size, adding effects, and adding a vac-u-lock hole all add to the price.
Thanks to Mr Hankey’s Toys for sponsoring this review! All views are, as always, my own.
Anyone who knows me knows that I love sparkly things. So of course, when Good Vibes Toys offered me their Pixie Glow in the Dark Dildo to test, I was all over it. This is probably going to be a fairly short and sweet review today, but we’ll see.
The Pixie Dildo measures 6.5″ in total length, just under 6″ in insertable length, and 1.67″ in diameter at the widest point. It is made of body-safe silicone and features a suction cup base.
Good Vibes Toys Pixie Glow in the Dark Dildo: Positives
The first thing I noticed about the Pixie Glow in the Dark Dildo by Good Vibes Toys is that it’s cute as fuck. The two-tone blue and pink silicone reminds me of the colours of the trans pride flag, and is infused with glitter. It’s fun, femme, and a departure from the more realistic styles that not everyone enjoys.
I love the flexible shaft. This is just a toy that’s so easy to use, and I appreciate that about it. I don’t need tonnes of warm-up to enjoy it, just a little lube and it slips straight in comfortably. A worthy addition to my “lazy masturbation” collection.
Though the silicone of the shaft has a slight ripple that my fingers can detect, my vagina cannot. This is, for all intents and purposes, a smooth toy. I can’t always deal with too much texture, which can be overwhelming to the point of uncomfortable, so I appreciate this.
The very slightly curved tip is nice for G-spot or prostate stimulation that isn’t too intense.
The suction cup is strong and holds the toy in place well.
It’s a great strap-on dildo. The Pixie Glow in the Dark Dildo’s suction cup holds it in place well in a harness, and it’s light enough to wield comfortably.
It also serves well as an anal dildo, having just the right level of squish and flex for comfortable insertion and a relatively slim shaft.
As the name implies, it glows in the dark! This isn’t a feature I need my dildos to have, but it’s sort of whimsical and fun.
Any Downsides?
Any negatives with this product are pretty subjective. It’s objectively a decent toy, but bodies are all different and everyone has unique preferences. So here are some things you’ll want to be aware of.
It’s fairly slimline, which won’t satisfy all users. I tend to prefer small to medium insertables, so it’s a positive for me, but if you prefer longer or girthier toys you’ll want to look elsewhere.
It may be too soft and flexible for some users. If you prefer a firmer toy, this won’t be for you.
The matte silicone is a little grabby. This issue can be overcome with plenty of water-based lube. In a totally ideal world I prefer a softer and less grabby silicone, but it’s not a dealbreaker.
The straight-ish shape and very gently curved tip won’t work for people who prefer more pronounced curves in their toys.
It’s kinda expensive, at $69.99 (about £55) for a cute but otherwise fairly basic silicone dildo. Get it if you love the aesthetic, but there are cheaperoptionsavailable if you’re just looking for something simple, safe and functional.
In short, this is a simple product that does what it does pretty well. Its main unique selling point is its gloriously sparkly and colourful appearance.
Lovense pioneered the world of app-controlled sex toys, and remains perhaps the biggest name in that particular field. I’ve been really enjoying doing a series of reviews of some of their bestselling products recently. Following my recent reviews of the Flexer and Nora (and my ages-ago reviews of the Ferri, Domi 2, and Lush 2), next up is my Lovense Dolce review.
What is the Lovense Dolce?
The Lovense Dolce is a dual stimulation clitoral and G-spot vibrator. With its body in the familiar C-shape that we see on manysimilartoys, the Dolce is designed to be wearable and to be used hands-free. The idea is that the wider of the two arms sits inside the vagina, while the other arm rests against the clitoris.
This toy is bendable, meaning that you can adjust the central hinge to position it in a way that works for your body. It offers an insertable length of around 3″, and the clitoral stimulator is around 3.5″ in length. The insertable diameter is 1.4″ at the widest point.
The Dolce is made of body-safe matte silicone (very matte – plenty of lube required with this one!) It is IPX7 waterproof, or completely submersible for up to 30 minutes. A full charge with the included USB cable takes 70 minutes and gives you up to 2 hours of runtime. It also comes with a storage pouch.
Lovense Dolce Review: The Good
I’ve had mixed experiences with wearable dual stimulation toys over the years. Some have worked pretty well for me, while others have been total failures. How did the Dolce stack up? First let’s look at the things about it that I did like.
(Please ignore my horrible ratty nails – they desperately need redoing!)
It offers clitoral stimulation! I have to admit I have never really understood the seeming obsession so many people have with the Lovense Lush – a toy that provides no clit stimulation at all, which most people with vulvas need in order to orgasm. If you enjoy the Lush but want to get your clit involved too, or if you haven’t bothered with it because you need clit stimulation with your G-spot vibes, then the Dolce might be the toy for you.
The Dolce’s bendable design is fantastic. One of the eternal problems with dual stimulation toys is that they simply do not fit everyone’s anatomy. You can adjust the Dolce’s hinge until it sits correctly for your unique body shape. It won’t suit all bodies, of course – no toy can do that – but it will work for far more than a fixed shape toy would.
The vibrations are seriously strong. This is by far the most powerful wearable dual stimulation vibrator I have ever tried. I’m not sure I would go as far as to describe them as rumbly – there’s definitely more buzz at the higher levels, in particular – but they’re powerful enough to get the job done.
I love the ribbed texture on the underside of the clitoral stimulator.
It has dual directional controls! I feel like I bang on about this all the time, but I am so sick of toys with one button interfaces. Being able to move through the inbuilt settings (3 speeds and 7 patterns) in both directions is a refreshing change.
It actually stays in place well for hands-free/minimal-hands use.
Like most Lovense toys, the app adds a tonne of new options and levels of functionality. You can control the two motors independently, add or create new patterns, or sync your toy to music. You can also hand over control remotely (either to a partner or anonymously via a link – a lot of cam performers like Lovense toys for this reason.)
The app connectivity and responsiveness is excellent. I delved into the details of the Lovense app in more detail in some of my previous Lovense reviews, so check those out so I don’t just repeat myself!
It’s not too loud. I wouldn’t use it out in public unless you were in a space with a lot of noise, like a nightclub, but for general use its noise is pretty unobtrusive.
Lovense Dolce Review: The Bad
There were also a few things about the Dolce that I didn’t enjoy so much. Namely:
The goddamn neon pink colour again. It’s so so so bright. It practically hurts my eyes to look at it! I wouldn’t mind so much if the toys were available in literally any other colour, but the fact that so many of Lovense’s vulva toys are only available in bright neon pink has weird gendered connotations that I do not like.
The controls on the toy itself are kind of confusing. The “up” button is also the on/off button, and once you get up to the 7th setting it does not cycle back around to the first if you tap the up button again.
The options are pretty limited without using the app. In particular, you can’t control the two motors independently using the manual controls.
Though you can control the two motors separately through the app, the toy transmits a lot of vibrations throughout. This means you’re always going to feel at least some vibes in both ends even when only one motor is switched on. Honestly, there were times when I wasn’t even 100% sure which of the two motors I had running.
It’s heavy enough that I wouldn’t feel confident standing or walking around with it in for very long. The weight also makes it challenging to wear for more than a few minutes at a time.
Verdict
If you’re looking for a seriously powerful dual stimulation wearable vibe, look no further. I would recommend the Dolce to anyone who enjoys strong internal and external vibrations together, as long as you are able to comfortably wear a moderately heavy insertable.
With that said, the Dolce is pretty expensive. I can only really recommend it if the app features, long distance functionalities, or hands-free options are important to you. If not, you can get toys that will do much the same thing for a fraction of the price. Overall, though, an excellent product.
The Dolce retails for £210 but is currently on sale for £109 in the Lovense Pride month sale!
Thanks to the company for supporting this Lovense Dolce review by sending me the product free of charge. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as always, are mine.
I’m really enjoying creating this Lovense review series. Lovense have been a giant in the world of app controlled sex toys since creating the very first ones – the Max and Nora – in 2013, and their toys are consistently amongst the best reviewed in the industry. This week, it’s time for a Lovense Flexer review. (I’ve also got a Dolce review coming up soon, so look out for that.)
What is the Lovense Flexer?
The Lovense Flexer is an dual stimulation app-controlled wearable, hands-free vibrator, also called a “panty vibrator.” It is designed to mimic a fingering sensation (does it succeed? Go to the next section to find out!) The insertable portion measures 4″ in length and 1.4″ in diameter at the widest point, and the clitoral arm measures just under 2″ in length.
It has two vibrating motors, one for the clit and one for the G-spot, as well as a third motor controlling a “come hither” motion. The internal part moves gently back and forth against the G-spot, while the external part does the same against the clit. If you’re struggling to envision what I mean, check out the little video on the product page.
The Lovense Flexer is made of body-safe silicone. It is IPX7 waterproof (submersible for up to 30 minutes) and USB rechargeable. It also comes with a drawstring storage bag.
Lovense Flexer Review: What I Liked
I approach insertable toys, particularly those that claim to be hands-free, with a healthy degree of scepticism and low expectations. They often just don’t work particularly well for my body. However, the Flexer was a pleasant surprise which blew my expectations out of the water in many ways.
The many things I liked about it include:
It actually moves when it’s inside me! I have tried some toys that claim to have come-hither motions but, once inserted, basically don’t move. This is not that.
For me, the level of intensity from the come-hither motion is just about perfect. It’s fairly gentle – it certainly doesn’t feel like someone pounding me with their fingers as hard as they can! – but still enough to be felt. Yes, excellent, top marks.
It actually works hands-free! Anyone who has seen me talk about “hands-free” toys before knows what a feat this is. But yes, I can use this toy with minimal to no use of my hands. This presents a bunch of fun possibilities for potential ways to use it. [1]
It fits my body well. Dual stimulation toys in a fixed shape are always a bit of a gamble because all our bodies are built differently, but this one can sit comfortably inside me and make reliable contact with my clit.
Speaking of which, a wearable vibrator that actually offers good clitoral stimulation! Wow! This shouldn’t be a novel concept, given that the overwhelming majority of people with vulvas require clit stimulation to orgasm, but somehow it still is.
When the toy is inside me, the external arm sort of moves back and forth against my clit. Which feels, if I may be blunt, fucking incredible.
Some reviewers have expressed a wish that this toy was softer, but I actually enjoy the firmness in this case.
You can control the vibrations and the come hither motion separately. So if you’re in the mood for one and not the other, no problem.
The charging-time-to-battery-life ratio is pretty good. A one-hour charge will give 1.5-2 hours of use, depending on settings.
[1] Pro tip: if you struggle with using this toy hands-free, try a few different positions. It works particularly well for me in a face-down position, but your mileage may vary. It also works really well in a sitting position. Potentially one for the erotica writers who get turned on while they work!
What I Didn’t Like
Despite an overall very positive experience with the Flexer – honestly, far more positive than I was expecting – it does have some problems and downsides.
The silicone is very matte, to the point of being quite uncomfortable to insert and wear if it’s not adequately lubed. Unfortunately, too much lube means it is likely to fall out! There’s a fine balancing act with this one, and getting the lube quantity slightly wrong really hampers the experience.
It also tends to fall out if I stand up and walk around while wearing it.
There doesn’t seem to be any way to control the two vibrating motors separately, even in the app. This can be a problem if, like me, you enjoy external vibrations much more than internal ones.
The interface on the toy itself (i.e. without the app) is really minimal, just one button with 7 preset options (3 speeds and 7 patterns.)
I hate the colour. I’m not against pink in general but this is like… eye-hurtingly neon pink.
The noise. I am yet to find a come-hither toy that DOESN’T do this, to be fair, but it squeaks in a way that is really, really distracting and kind of a sensory nightmare. It’s also fairly loud and distinctive so honestly, I wouldn’t recommend using this one out and about unless you’re in a place with a LOT of background noise (like a nightclub.)
How is the App Functionality?
I’ve had a mixed experience with Lovense toys in that some really need the app to get the most out of the product, while others function fine without it. The Flexer is definitely in the former camp.
The Lovense app offers both long-distance and close-range control for the Flexer. The close range function works over 20-30 feet (depending upon obstacles and signal, presumably) and the long distance function can operate from anywhere in the world with Bluetooth and an internet connection.
I feel like I’m repeating myself a lot with the Lovense app as it’s broadly much the same over all toys in the range, so suffice to say that the connectivity is quick, the connection is stable, the responsiveness is excellent, and there are tonnes of options – from syncing your toy with music to connecting with various adult camming platforms. There’s also interactive content, games, and the ability to send someone an anonymous “control link” for a set period of time.
The app is also what enables you to control the vibrations and the come hither motions separately, and to hand over control to your partner if you want to. (They will also need the app and a decent Bluetooth connection.)
Unlike many toy companies, Lovense allows you to add more than one partner in its app without removing anyone. This is a small thing, but it really does make a difference to those of us who are non-monogamous.
Honestly, I mostly use the app in its most basic way – controlling the motors while masturbating with the toy solo. But it does the job, and it does it well.
Lovense Flexer Review: Verdict
I would not recommend buying this toy unless you are comfortable with using the app pretty much whenever you use the toy. Without it, the functionality just isn’t there to justify the price tag. I also wouldn’t recommend this one if you’re looking for a toy for discreet public play. Both the volume and the type of noise this toy produces make it likely it will be audible, and involving people in your play without their consent isn’t okay.
The sensation this toy offers, though, is fantastic. It’s also not exactly like any other product I’ve tried.
The Lovense Flexer retails for £159 but is currently on sale for Pride month at just £89.
Thanks to Lovense for sending me this product to review. This Lovense Flexer review contains affiliate links and buying through them sends me a small commission at no extra cost to you.
Nothosaur Toys only recently came onto my radar, when they reached out and asked about sponsorship. But I’ve already begun recommending them to readers who ask me about fantasy toys. With an impressive collection including alien dildos, tentacle dildos, dragon dildos, fantasy grinders, and much more, they have all sorts of great offerings for fans of the weird and wonderful.
Nothosaur were also kind enough to send me a product from their range to review. Meet the ALLA.
What is the Nothosaur Toys ALLA?
The Nothosaur Toys ALLA is a tentacle dildo based on sources such as the Kraken sea monster mythology and the Cthulhu science fiction/horror stories. And it is literally a giant tentacle. It features a large heavy base and two rows of suckers along a flexible shaft. The long shaft tapers gently to a point.
The ALLA is available in several colourways. I chose the light pinkish-purple with blue accents known as “Redemption”, which is super pretty. For a small additional cost, you can also request a custom colourway of your choice.
The ALLA is available in six sizes, ranging from XS (11.8″ in total length) up to “Legendary” (41″ in total length.) Pay close attention to the size chart when you’re ordering, because if you’re not careful you’ll end up with something a lot bigger than you expected! I ordered the ALLA in a medium, which measures 22″ in total length and 1.1″ in diameter towards the top of the tentacle. The sheer idea of one that’s almost twice as large again makes my eyes water, but you might be a lot braver than me!
What I Like About the ALLA
Nothosaur Toys are gaining a great reputation in the world of fantasy sex toys, and it’s easy to see why. The ALLA is the first of their products I have tried, and there are plenty of things about it that I really like. Namely:
The Nothosaur Toys ALLA is a beautifully designed dildo. If you have a tentacle kink, I don’t think you could do much better! The detailing is impressive and the use of the two silicone colours adds both depth and an ethereal, otherworldly quality which can be tremendously appealing to lovers of fantasy toys. The Nothosaur dragon insignia is stamped into the base.
The silicone is body-safe and looks and feels to be of a high quality. So many fantasy toys are still being made from unsafe jelly materials or porous TPE/TPR. It’s great to see more and more silicone options coming onto the market. The ALLA’s silicone is very matte, and the suckers can be a little grabby, so using plenty of water-based lube is essential.
“Depth play” and “depth training” – gradually training your body to take longer toys safely and comfortably, either vaginally or anally – isn’t my thing as I find it far more painful than pleasurable. However, it is a fairly popular kink and relatively few body-safe toy options for this purpose have been available. The ALLA, with its softness and long, tapered body, is perfect for those who want to focus on depth of penetration in their play.
That texture! Oh my goodness, that texture! The ALLA’s suckers provide incredible additional stimulation when you use it internally. And there’s another possibility, too: repurposing the ALLA as a grinding toy for clitoral play. Seriously, try it and thank me later.
Thanks to the large base and lengthy shaft, the ALLA is anal-safe if that’s your thing.
Its suction cup holds it in place well despite its large size and significant weight. Some reviewers have commented that they can hang the entire toy from the ceiling with the suction cup!
The toy arrived quickly, and was discreetly packaged with no indication of what was inside.
Anything I Didn’t Like?
When I tried to use it for (presumably) its intended purpose of penetration, I found the ALLA to be slightly too floppy and flexible to be truly satisfying. I was able to insert it with plenty of lubrication and warm-up, but it took a few attempts because it kept bending away from my body when I applied pressure rather than slipping inside. If you enjoy very soft, flexible and gentle toys, this might be a good thing for you. For me, though, I found I wanted a little more rigidity.
I ordered the ALLA in medium firmness (the firmer of the two available options, the other being “soft.”) So keep this in mind if you’re looking for a firmer penetrative toy. I’m actually not convinced I’d be able to use it anally for this reason. All bodies are different, though, so your mileage may vary.
Due to its design, the ALLA can also be a bit of a pain to clean. All those little suckers can harbour bodily fluids, which can breed bacteria if not properly cleaned. For that reason, I really recommend boil-sterilising your toy after each use to ensure that it is completely clean. It just has too many creases and crevices for me to feel confident recommending any other method.
Verdict
The ALLA is totally different from anything else in my collection, and I kind of love it. I am unlikely to use it as a penetrative toy again (as I said, it’s a little too flexible for me and ultra lengthy toys aren’t really my thing.) However, I will definitely be making plenty of use of the clitoral stimulation possibilities afforded by all those fabulous little suckers!
If you’re looking for a fantasy-style depth trainer or just have a kink for tentacles, you’ll love this toy.
The ALLA’s retail price depends upon the size and customisation options you choose. It begins from just $79.99 for the XS size in a standard colourway, up to $379.99 for the Legendary size. With the smaller options surprisingly affordable and the larger options reasonably priced considering the materials and skill that go into crafting these toys, I am happy to call the Nothosaur ALLA a great value product!
You can also use coupon code COFFEE for 10% off your entire Nothosaur Toys order.
Thanks to Nothosaur Toys for sending me the ALLA and sponsoring this honest and unbiased review. All views and writing, as ever, are mine. Don’t forget to check out the rest of the Nothosaur catalogue including the limited-edition Pride range!
In my first Mr Hankey’s Toys review last month, I noted that I was kinda blown away by the sheer size of the toy in front of me. That theme continues in this, the second of three Mr Hankey’s reviews: today, we’re looking at the descriptively-named Unicorn Dildo.
When the Mr Hankey’s Toys gave me pretty much free rein (heh) to pick a selection of toys from their site, I couldn’t possibly resist this one. I mean, just look at it!
Mr Hankey’s Toys Unicorn Dildo
The Mr Hankey’s Toys Unicorn Dildo is available in four sizes, ranging in total length from 12″ up to 18.38″, in insertable length from 7″ up to 12″, and in diameter at the widest insertable point from 1.51″ up to 2.7″. I requested the second smallest size (“Medium”), which measures 14″ in overall length, 8″ in insertable length, and 1.83″ in diameter at the widest insertable point. Once the decorative base is factored in, this is a large toy.
This toy is made of 100% body-safe silicone.
It is also available in four firmness levels: 40% soft (the softest), 75% soft, medium firm, and extra firm. You can get it in any of 24 different colourways, including a white/gold two tone. I requested bubblegum pink because I was feeling extra femme that day and it seemed somehow appropriate for this toy. There’s also the option to add a vac-u-lock hole.
Things I Like About the Mr Hankey’s Toys Unicorn Dildo
I mean, the entire design of this toy is just so whimsical and delightful. When you’ve tested and reviewed as many sex toys as I have, one vaguely penis-shaped piece of silicone starts to blend into the next. (Figuratively. Silicone toys do not melt together in storage and I wish this stupid myth would die already. But that’s a rant for another day.)
But a toy that looks like a unicorn horn? Yeah, that’s new and novel. The detailing is impressive and gives a fun and playful feel that makes me smile every time I see its silly face and ginormous horn on my desk, where it is currently functioning as a particularly “extra” paperweight.
I chose the 75% soft option, which is the second softest. In this shape, that means the horn part is very squishy, bendy, and flexible. According to the company, this softness level mimics a bio-cock at 75-80% of full erection, but on this product it definitely seems softer and more flexible than that. If you want anything other than serious squish and flex, go for one of the firmer options. If, like me, you tend to prefer less intense insertable toys, the 75% soft is a great choice.
I also like the gently tapered design a lot. Coupled with the flex, this makes it ideal for targeted but not-too-intense G-spot stimulation.
The texturing of the horn is lovely, too. A lot of textured insertable toys are too much for me. They can be so intense that they become uncomfortable or even painful. The Unicorn Dildo, though, has a subtle rippling, twisted texture that is pronounced enough to be felt but also gentle.
Thanks to the bottom-heavy design, the Unicorn Dildo stands on its own. The company does warn that not all firmness levels and sizes will necessarily do this, though, so be aware of that if this feature is important to you. It does mean that putting it down on a firm surface and using it hands-free is potentially an option for users who are so inclined.
This large base also means that the Unicorn Dildo is totally anal-safe, if that’s your thing.
Anything I Didn’t Like?
As with the Perfect Penis dildo I reviewed last month, my only real complaint with the Unicorn Horn dildo is that it’s heavy. The large and solid base really adds some weight and heft to this toy, meaning that it can be a challenge to lift and manipulate if you struggle with holding heavy objects.
The silicone is perhaps a little more matte than I would ideally prefer, which means it can be quite grabby. For large toys like this one, that’s very noticeable. However, it’s nothing that you can’t solve with plenty of water-based lube. It also picks up quite a lot of lint and dust in storage, so you’ll want to give it a quick wash or wipe before each use.
Due to the grooves and ridges of the detailed design, I recommend boil-sterilising your Unicorn Dildo to ensure that it’s not harbouring any bacteria in those hard-to-clean areas.
Otherwise? No complaints at all.
Verdict
I love this product! Even in the second smallest size, it’s probably a little too large and hefty for me to actually use it super often, though it’ll definitely get the occasional outing for its intended purpose. It is playful and unique, the insertable part is genuinely well-designed, and when I’m not using it I’ll probably keep it on display anyway because it makes a fun ornament in the sex-positive den of chaos that is my office.
I love that Mr Hankey’s Toys are offering very large dildos made exclusively of body-safe materials. I often receive requests for large toy recommendations. Unfortunately, many of the manufacturers making them are still using unsafe and porous materials. Mr Hankey’s Toys products aren’t cheap, but you’ll get some serious quality for your money. With a little care, one of these toys could last years if not decades.
The Mr Hankey’s Toys Unicorn Dildo starts from $134.95 for the smallest size in a basic colourway. Prices increase as you go up in size and add customisations.
Thanks to Mr Hankey’s Toys for sponsoring this review. This means they paid me to write a fair and honest review. All views and experiences are, as always, my own.
