[Toy Review] Lovense Lush 2

To say I was excited to get my hands on the Lovense Lush 2 would be an understatement. Lovense toys have a reputation that precedes them, and I’ve never been able to get one for review before.

So let’s dive in and find out what I thought of the Lovense Lush 2, shall we?

Lovense Lush 2

The Lush 2 by Lovense is a rechargeable, app-controlled “love egg” style vibrator.

It is 8 inches long, of which about 3.5 inches are intertable. The rest is a long, flexible tail. The Lush 2 is made of body-safe silicone in a ridiculously bright, obnoxious shade of pink.

It’s described as a “love egg” vibrator, but the main body isn’t really quite egg shaped. Instead it has a bulge on one side, which I guess is supposed to hit the G-spot. The body and tail shape kinda makes me think of a sperm! Here’s what it looks like:

The Lovense Lush 2 on a wooden floor

On my body, the main head of the toy really isn’t long enough or the right shape to hit my G-spot with any degree of precision. Given this and the that I’m not a big fan of internal vibrations, I was more inclined to use it as a clitoral vibrator.

This toy is fully waterproof, and rechargeable via a USB cable (you get around 2.5 hours of use for a 2 hour charge).

App Functionality

Perhaps the biggest appeal of Lovense’s toys is their superior app functionality. Having thoroughly tested my Lush 2 with the Lovense app, I can confirm that it’s by far the best sex toy remote control app I’ve ever used.

This is absolutely a toy that was designed with app-first usage in mind. Without the app, the interface is a single button (located on the end of the tail) that you use to scroll one way through the three constant vibration speeds and four inbuilt patterns.

The Lovense Remote app is free to download and compatible with iOS 9.0 and later, and Android 4.3 and later. There’s also a Mac version, and a Windows PC version (though you need a special Lovense USB Bluetooth Adaptor for the latter).

You’ll need to set up a free account to use the app, which takes a couple of minutes. Then you switch on your Bluetooth and click the link symbol in the top right corner to connect your toy. Unlike other app-based toys I’ve used, my Lush 2 connected in a couple of seconds. The connection is steady and reliable.

The Lovense Connect app

Once you’ve connected your toy to the app, you have a number of different options. You can use the “Remote” control panel to change the vibration speed with the swipe of a finger, or create your own repeating pattern using the “loop” feature. In “My Patterns,” you can find the pre-installed vibration patterns and also create and save your own.

The other cool app options include:

  • “Alarm”, wherein you can schedule the toy to start vibrating at a specific time. (Yes I tested it, and yes it works). I mean, the idea of waking up with this thing buzzing away inside me is not my idea of fun, but some people might enjoy it!
  • “Sound” makes the toy sound-responsive. You can talk at it, play music, or even just tap gently on something nearby and the Lush 2 will vibrate in time with it. It’s EXTREMELY responsive – at the top sensitivity setting, it was picking up traffic noise from the end of my street and responding to that. So you might want to turn the sensitivity level down a bit. This function has some particularly interesting D/s potential. I have to admit the idea of a Dom making my vibe react with just their voice is hot as fuck. You could even watch porn and sync the toy with the performers’ sounds!
  • “Music”, which allows you to sync the vibrations along with music. You can use music files uploaded to your device, or link your app with streaming services like Spotify.
The Lovense Connect app

Long-distance functions

You can hand over control of your Lovense Lush 2 to your partner using the “Long Distance” tab. For privacy reasons, you can’t search by email address, so your partner will need to set up an account so you can add one another by username.

Again, the connectivity is quick and simple, and remains steady as long as you both have Bluetooth and a stable internet connection.

You can also create a limited-time “control link”, allowing you to hand over control for a specified amount of time from a few seconds up to 60 minutes. Every link is unique, for one-time use only, and expires if not used within 30 minutes. You can end the session any time by simply pressing “back” on the app.

The Lovense Connect app

Lovense provides a useful how-to guide to help you set up.

Cam site connection

The Lovense Lush 2 boasts the ability to connect with cam sites, which I haven’t seen from any other sex toy companies. Cam models and performers can sync any Lush toy with numerous cam sites including Chaturbate, Manyvids, MyFreeCams, and more. You can then create tip-based responses, allowing your fans to “control” your vibe by tipping you.

Of course, it’s also possible to hand over control to your high tippers using the control link function mentioned above.

As I’m not a cam performer, I have not tested this functionality myself. However, I have seen clips of sex workers using it, and read reviews that are generally very positive about it.

Power

Sadly, what the Lovense Lush 2 has in app functionality and innovation, it lacks in power. As soon as I switched it on in my hand, I was unimpressed. I hoped it might feel better once I was warmed up and using it on my genitals, but alas I remained underwhelmed.

The Lovense Lush 2 on a white bedsheet

The Lovense Lush 2’s vibrations aren’t exactly terrible, but they’re just… not good. They’re fairly buzzy and, even on the highest setting, nowhere near powerful enough to justify this toy’s price tag.

I’m sad to report that this toy didn’t get me off. After multiple attempts, I had to reach for a trusty wand to finish the job.

Final thoughts

I can only recommend this toy if you’re after app functionality or long-distance capability and if you don’t need very powerful vibrations. The Lovense Lush 2’s app is great, and the tip connectivity option for adult performers is genuinely cool and unique.

Unfortunately, its power level really lets the Lovense Lush 2 down. For a vibrator that costs £139.99, a nifty app isn’t enough. I expect it to actually be powerful to get me off. Which, frankly, is a low bar for a supposedly high-end toy to meet.

Without the cool app features, all you have is an overpriced vibrator with a mediocre motor.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Lovense Lush 2 to review! All opinions are, as always, my own. Buying through my affiliate links sends a small commission my way at no extra cost to you.

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Flexy Beast Wearable Vibrator

Sometimes a sex toy makes me laugh and groan (with exasperation, not pleasure) at the same time. Sometimes I just take one look at a thing and immediately know it’s not going to do what it was designed for. The “Flexy Beast” wearable couple’s vibrator from Lovehoney is one such product.

The Pun Game is Strong with This One

It’s a bendy vibrator called the Flexy Beast. How could I resist!? Not only that, but the caption on the box reads “Bends With Benefits.” Well played, Lovehoney. Well. Played.

Anyway, let’s take a closer look, shall we?

The Lovehoney Flexy Beast wearable couples vibrator

The Flexy Beast is a small triangular vibrator with two long and hyper-flexible (they weren’t kidding about that) arms. It’s fully waterproof, and USB rechargeable via the included cable. It is 6.5 inches in total length, of which 3.5 are supposedly insertable (an assertion I question, as we’ll see momentarily.)

The Flexy Beast is coated in silicone and the tip is ABS plastic, making it completely body-safe. Because the plastic tip comes off to reveal the charging port, it has a significant seam that could harbour bacteria. Take extra care when cleaning.

The Flexy Beast boasts 3 levels of constant power and 7 patterns. It operates on a single button interface. I can forgive the one-button issue with cheaper toys, but on a product that retails for £70 I really expect to see at the very least +/- buttons, and ideally a remote control.

First Impressions

I have to admit that my first reaction to this thing was that I wanted to stick googly eyes on it and turn it into a desk mascot.

The Lovehoney Flexy Beast wearable couples vibrator with cartoon eyes

My second reaction was “huh, the level of power is actually respectable.” Considering how small it is, the Flexy Beast offers passably good vibrations. They’re a little buzzy, though, whereas I prefer deep rumbles (and so, it seems, do 56% of the people of FilthTwitter, based on my completely scientific study.)

But that’s when it all went sideways…

There are 5 helpful suggestions provided on the Lovehoney site for how to use the Flexy Beast. Of the two that do not require a factory-installed penis, I was… I think “baffled” is a fair word to use?

Diagram of suggested ways to use the Lovehoney Flexy Beast vibrator

I mean, what the fuck is going on here? The first one seems to imply I should shove the whole thing in my vagina and it will just kinda hang out around the entrance with the arms holding it in place somehow. The second one seems to be suggesting I stick the tip inside me and stick the arms on my labia majora, which… why? Half an inch inside the vagina and the outer labia 2 inches from the clit are not the areas that typically produce the most pleasure for most vulva owners.

Let me reiterate: neither of these suggestions make a single iota of sense when you try them on an actual vulva.

So I got creative…

Not one to give up easily, I tried a few other things. I tried twisting the arms together and inserting them to make a sort of anchor in my vagina while I used the bullet part on my clit. This just ended up with it poking me painfully in the vaginal walls (and it fell out in three seconds.)

I tried to essentially attach it to my labia by twisting the arms in such a way as to clamp it on to my fleshy bits. It slipped straight off.

The Lovehoney Flexy Beast wearable couples vibrator

Finally, I tried inserting the main body into my vagina and then bending the arms around to reach my clit. This sort of worked for about five seconds, but if you push the toy far enough inside that it actually stays put, the arms don’t reach the clit. (Plus the body isn’t anywhere near long enough, nor the right shape, to hit the G-spot.)

Sure, you could technically bend the arms into a circle shape and use it as a cock-ring, but why would you want to? You won’t get the effect of restricting blood flow from the penis (the actual purpose of a cock ring) and any sort of thrusting will stop it from providing meaningful clitoral stimulation.

Someone on the Lovehoney reviews under the product claims to have used it vaginally, anally, and clitorally all at the same time (main body on the clit, one arm in each hole.) After extensive testing, I am calling this out as not only something that is highly unlikely to feel good to the overwhelming majority of people, but as something that is physiologically fucking impossible unless you have the shortest vagina-to-butt distance of all time.

….Sentences I never expected to write.

Final verdict

All gimmick, no substance.

Even though the vibrations are actually okay considering the small size, I was far too annoyed by it and all the ways it was supposed to work and didn’t. I ended my testing session completely turned off. The Flexy Beast probably could have got me off from the vibrations alone, but all I wanted to do was throw it across the room and get my Doxy out.

I’m chalking this one up to a neat idea in theory that wasn’t tested on enough actual human genitals before being released. It also retails for a hugely overpriced £69.99, which is more expensive than several far better toys.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product in exchange for an honest review. All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear within this post.

[Toy Review] Dame Arc Silicone G-Spot Vibrator

Sometimes, I unbox a toy and within two minutes, I know exactly what my review is likely to say. I’ll sometimes be proven wrong in the course of the testing process, but more often than not these days my first impressions are bang on. I guess that’s what comes from having tested well over 100 toys at this point.

I opened up the Dame Arc Silicone G-Spot Vibrator and very quickly ascertained that my review was most likely going to say, “great shape, shit vibrations.”

Reader, I was not wrong.

Meet the Dame

The Dame Arc is a curved silicone vibrator with a ridged bulb tip, designed for G-spot stimulation. It is 7.5 inches in total length, 4.5 inches insertable. It’s completely waterproof, USB rechargeable via the included cable, and has a travel lock function.

The Dame Arc retails for £99.99.

The Dame Arc silicone G-spot vibrator

I hate this toy’s outer packaging! It comes in a white, pink and blue box with a line illustration of the toy, and frankly the aesthetic makes me think of a medical device[1]. Not sexy.

The Dame Arc vibrator's external packaging. Picture by Lovehoney.

When you remove the outer sleeve, you find a plain pink box the same colour as the vibrator.

The Dame Arc is pink, but it’s a kind of muted dusky pink that I have to admit is quite pretty. It comes with an off-white drawstring storage pouch featuring the Dame Products logo.

The body-safe silicone is super soft and nice to handle. The toy’s body is rigid and it has very little “squish.”

My G-spot loves this shape

The shape of this toy is fantastic! It curves in exactly the right way to get that delicious come-hither motion against my G-spot, and the bulbed head is firm but not too hard.

The Dame Arc silicone G-spot vibrator

It’s comfortable to hold and easy to manipulate, with an ergonomic handle shape. The buttons are also sensibly placed on the underside of the curve (so they point upwards when the toy is inserted) and the controls are intuitive. There’s one on/off button that is also used to cycle between the 5 patterns, and up/down controls to control the 5 levels of intensity.

The vibrations, though, are sorely lacking

The Dame Arc’s vibrations are pretty pathetic.

Since I’m much more of a clitoral than a G-spot gal when it comes to vibrations, I decided to test this toy on my clit as well as internally. My clit was halfway to numb before I got anything approaching an orgasm out of it.

Obviously not everyone is into the kind of high-powered vibrations that I’m into, but in my anecdotal experience the overwhelming majority of people with vulvas would take stronger and rumblier vibrations over this weak, buzzy offering.

What I’m saying is: if you like gentle vibrations, sure, get this toy. (Except don’t because it’s a hundred fucking quid and a £20 equivalent will do the same thing.)

Do I recommend it?

Meh.

I’ll definitely be using this toy again, but I’ll leave it switched off and use it as a G-spot dildo. I highly doubt I’ll ever reach for it again for the vibrations.

It’s far too expensive for what it is. You can get a decent curved G-spot dildo for less than half the price, and the Queen of G-spot toys for only £30 more. There are both better and cheaper vibrators out there.

So yeah. I called it. Great shape, shit vibrations.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Dame Arc in exchange for an honest review. All views, as always, my own.

[1] As an aside, the currently sole reviewer on Lovehoney had this to say: “…this toy has been scientifically designed by female sexual-health and well-being specialists for one purpose alone, medical-grade gushing!” Which just made me howl with laughter. What the fuck is medical grade gushing!?