[Toy Review] Womanizer Duo

Did you know that some of my sex blogging work is funded through my wonderful patrons on Patreon? This week I’d like to give a shout-out to new(ish) patron Will, who blogs at Mr Will’s House of Thrills. Check out his work, and consider joining me on Patreon to get some cool perks. Now on to the review…

I am very, very picky when it comes to dual stimulation toys. (That is, toys that stimulate the clitoris and G-spot at the same time – rabbit vibes are the most classic example). Most of them simply don’t work that well for me. But just occasionally, one will come along that blows my expectations out of the water. Enter Womanizer Duo.

Double the Fun?

The Womanizer Duo in its box

Womanizer are a high-end sex toy brand with high-end prices to match. The absolute cheapest model, the Womanizer Starlet, will set you back £59.99. This model, their most expensive yet, retails for £179.99 (or $219 for my American friends!) Due to cost, I never bought a Womanizer product – I wasn’t willing to drop that kind of money on a toy that I wasn’t sure would work for me. But then Womanizer kindly sent me their new Premium model to review, and I was a total convert. So I jumped at the chance to try the Duo.

The Womanizer Duo is looks a bit like a classic rabbit vibrator, only instead of the rabbit “ears”, the smaller arm sports one of Womanizer’s patented Pleasure Air clitoral simulators.

The Womanizer Duo in its box

At 9 inches in length, this is a pretty hefty toy. However, the insertable length is a more manageable 5″ and the widest part is 1.4″ in diameter. The toy is fully waterproof, and rechargeable via USB. You get around 2 hours play for a 2 hour charge, so not a bad battery life. The Womanizer Duo comes in two colours, black or a lovely dark red they call “bordeaux” (fancy!) Both have a gold coloured accents at the base.

What’s in the box?

I’ll say this for Womanizer, they really go for it with the “luxury” feel to their toys. Even the packaging looks and feels expensive, stylishly designed with an image of billowing black fabric on the box. It kind of reminds me of the kind of packaging you get on high-end perfume!

Inside, you will find:

  • Your toy, of course
  • Two silicone heads for the clitoral stimulator, different sizes to suit different bodies
  • The magnetic charging cable
  • A useful satin storage bag, which is also super cute – it has a little mini flogger on the drawstring and a gold coloured Womanizer charm.
  • An instruction booklet in various languages
Accessories that come with the Womanizer Duo
The Womanizer Duo's storage pouch

Once you’ve taken this all out you’ll realise there’s a LOT of packaging to throw out, but at least it’s all recyclable!

Safety First

The Womanizer Duo is made of smooth silicone, which is super soft and luxurious to the touch as well as being phthalate-free, non-porous and body safe. Yay silicone! It is the greatest sex toy material, bar none, and this is the hill I will die on.

Clean your toy using gentle soap and warm water – as it’s waterproof, you can submerge it. You can also sterilise it more thoroughly with a sterile medical wipe or a 10% bleach solution.

If you’re sharing your toy, you can use a condom over the internal arm. I really, really like that Womanizer include changeable nozzles with their toys – not only does it make clean-up a breeze, it also means you can simply switch nozzles if different people are using the toy in a single session. You can also buy replacement nozzles if you happen to lose one or just think it’d be useful to have spares.

As ever, use a good quality water-based lube. Pro tip: as well as using lube on the internal arm, dab a bit on the nozzle of the clitoral stimulator.

Settings & Functions

A relevant piece of information about me when it comes to my experience with this toy: I do not like internal vibrations. At all. I find them uncomfortable, unpleasant and occasionally even painful. I am willing to concede that there may be an internal vibrator I like, but I haven’t found it yet. This is why I like dual-stim toys that have a thrusting mechanism or a “come hither” motion.

With that said, let’s have a look at the Womanizer Duo’s different settings.

The Womanizer Duo has six buttons in total. The on/off button is located at the base of the toy towards the back, just above the magnetic charging pins. The other five buttons are located on the front of the toy, below the clitoral stimulator. The top middle of these buttons changes the vibration pattern, then there are two pairs of buttons. The top set controls the vibrating internal arm, and the bottom set controls the clitoral stimulator, with “increase” and “decrease” options for each.

I won’t lie, the control mechanism takes a little getting used to, simply because there are six separate buttons and a lot going on. However, the buttons are easy to press and in an intuitive position: I hold the toy in my left hand and use my thumb to press the controls when I use it.

Remember what I said just now about not liking internal vibrations? Well, the saving grace of this product for me is the fact that the internal vibrator and the clitoral stimulator are controlled completely separately! This means the internal arm can fill me up and press against my G-spot (good!) while the clitoral stimulator works its magic, and I don’t have to deal with the unwanted vibrations!

The Womanizer Duo has 12 levels of intensity for each arm, and the internal vibrator has 10 different patterns as well. This means that hundreds of different combinations are possible and you can tailor your experience to exactly what you want.

This toy, like the Womanizer Premium, also has the very cool “smart silence” feature. This means that the toy will only switch on when it close contact with your body. In other words, if someone barges in on you, just lift the toy off your body and…. no sound! It also means there is zero chance of this toy accidentally switching itself on in your luggage.

How did I like it?

It took a bit of experimentation to get this toy to work for me. As I said, the controls are a little complex until you get the hang of it. But once I’d got that sorted and found a setting that worked for me… goddamn, I love this toy!

It is NOT a “get off very quickly then go to sleep” type of toy. This one is definitely a “slow and sensual build up” product. But sometimes that’s exactly what you want. Every single time I’ve used this toy, I’ve had a long, delicious build that has led to an incredible orgasm.

So do I recommend it?

Yes. But…

This toy is, let’s be honest, very expensive. Which is absolutely fine – I’m very pro luxury toys if you can afford the price tag. I wouldn’t suggest the Womanizer Duo as either your first dual stimulation toy or your first suction toy, for one simple reason: dual stim toys don’t work for everyone, and suction toys don’t work for everyone. So try cheaper versions of these types of products before you splash out nearly £200.

Try the Womanizer Starlet for a more affordable introduction to suction toys, and a Happy Rabbit to see if dual-stim toys are your jam.

But if you like suction, and you like dual stim, go for it – this lovely toy is the best of both worlds!

Thanks to Womanizer for providing me with this product to review. All views are, as always, my own. Shopping using my affiliate links helps me to keep doing this work by sending a small commission my way.

[Kink Product Review] Three Mini Reviews: Cuffs, Rope, Paddle

It’s no secret to my readers that I love small, independent, women-owned-and-run businesses, especially when they sell exclusively body-safe adult products. That’s why I am proud to be an affiliate of The Pleasure Garden Shop, a homegrown (pun intended) online feminist sex shop right here in the UK.

I must first apologise for the delay in getting these reviews out – my health (physical and mental) have taken a nosedive since the beginning of the year and Mr CK has been unwell too. As such I am woefully behind on testing and writing about everything! But no matter – we’re here now.

I was really excited when Francesca, owner of The Pleasure Garden (who I interviewed recently!) reached out and suggested a series of mini-reviews of kinky products that might appeal to people looking to explore BDSM for the first time, along with some handy tricks and tips on using them safely. This is the first of such a series – let’s take a look at what was in my very exciting parcel when it arrived…

Bound Noir Slim Wrist Cuffs

People who have seen me getting my sexy on will know that I kink super hard for leather. (Yes, I know, as a vegetarian this makes me a horrible hypocrite – don’t @ me!) Good quality leather also tends to be expensive, which is probably why I don’t own that much of it.

Bound Noir black leather cuffs

So the Bound Noir Slim Wrist Cuffs had me squeeing for joy! Not only are they super stylish, made of soft black leather with gold coloured metal accents, they’re also an absolute steal at £32.99. I’ve seen leather cuff sets go for £100+, but there’s no need to spend that much when these are so good! They come with a removable connecting chain with clips at either end, and each cuff has two D-rings – so lots of ways to fasten your sub to something (or to themselves) should you desire.

Bound Noir black wrist cuffs on anonymous hands

These cuffs feel super luxurious to wear. The leather is really soft and supple, and just gets softer with use as you break them in. I’ve worn them for well over an hour before, including in a session where my wrists were above my head. They remained comfortable the whole time. The gold accents give an elegant feel. The perfect accessory for any sexy outfit!

Bound Noir black wrist cuffs on anonymous female hands

They’re super adjustable. They have 5 notches, and there’s no reason you couldn’t get an extra one put in if you wanted to. (Take them to a professional leather worker, you could ruin them if you try it yourself!) The adjustability means they’ll work on most bodies. I have tiny wrists so I use them on the tightest setting. But I’ve also used them on people with much bigger hands/wrists than me with no problems at all.

Leather Wrist Cuffs Tips & Tricks…

Bound Noir black leather wrist cuffs on anonymous female hands
  • Experiment with different positions. Not everything will be comfy for everyone. Clip your partner’s hands together behind their back, hook their arms around the bedpost, tie their hands to something above their head.
  • Pair with a set of ankle cuffs and a 4-way hogtie for more complete immobilisation.
  • Cuffs should be loose enough that you can slip 1-2 fingers between the cuff and the skin, but tight enough so your partner cannot wiggle free. Experiment with different settings and check regularly. If there is any numbness, tingling or pins and needles in the hands, take the cuffs off IMMEDIATELY.
  • Never, EVER leave a bound person alone.
  • Store your cuffs flat, not fastened – the leather will degrade quicker if you store them closed.

Bound to Please Hemp Bondage Rope

Ask any rope bondage aficionado about their favourite type of rope, and you’ll get wildly different – but equally passionate – answers. We all have our favourites. I’ve always been a jute fan; I love the smell of it, the feel of it and the way it handles. But hemp is also a really popular choice. So I was delighted to try out this hemp bondage rope from Bound To Please.

Hemp rope coiled

This rope comes in 10 metre lengths and 5mm width. I believe this is the most ideal rope thickness for most bondage – any thicker and it starts looking bulkier and less elegant, any thinner and it starts to make ties more painful due to the way thinner ropes cut against the skin. (Not necessarily a bad thing if you like pain, but I don’t suggest tying with anything below 5mm until you’re experienced!) Each length costs £12.99.

“How much rope should I buy?” is always a question beginners ask me. It depends on a number of things, including types of ties and the size of the bottom. If you eventually want to move on to complex ties and suspensions, you’ll need more. If all you want to do is tie your partner to the bed for sex, you can get away with a couple of lengths. As a rough guide, for a TK (Takate Kote or Box Tie, the first formal harness tie most riggers learn) you’ll need 3 lengths and possibly 4 lengths for larger bodies. (If your partner is very petite, you might get away with 2.)

(I should just write a Big Guide to Choosing Rope, shouldn’t I? Okay, coming up…)

Anonymous leg tied in a futomomo with hemp rope

The thing I really love about natural fibre ropes, and especially hemp, is the smell. Hemp rope has this slightly undefinable sweet/woody smell and it’s gorgeous. I love tying in a room full of rope enthusiasts because the mix of natural fibres, bodies and sex in the air is just so intoxicating. Natural fibre ropes also get softer and smoother with use, as they are handled and absorb the natural oils from your skin.

Yes, I LOVE this rope!

Rope Tips & Tricks…

Close up of part of a futomomo in hemp rope on anonymous leg
  • Firstly and most importantly, always – ALWAYS – keep a cutting tool to hand. The safest and best tool is a pair of EMT shears, like this, which you can by for a few quid on Amazon or from a medical supplies store.
  • Suspension looks cool and is great fun, but it is NOT the be-all, end-all. It is also very dangerous if not done properly. Gain proficiency in floor-work before you even think about suspending, and then do it under the tuition of an experienced rigger. Bottoms, this applies to you too – don’t ask someone to suspend you when you’ve never even worn a basic chest harness before.
  • Rope is for everyone! No matter the size of your body or your ability level, you can do rope if you want to. Listen to your body and be prepared to adjust.
  • Get some lessons! Rope bondage is inherently risky, and can be dangerous if not done properly. If you’re really lucky, there might be a rope studio near you. Otherwise, see if there’s a Peer Rope event in your area (these are usually listed on Fetlife) or find a trusted private tutor.
  • Check out some instructional Youtube videos. Ask in your local community or on Fetlife for recommendations, as not all teachers are created equal.
  • Get a book, such as Shibari You Can Use or Showing You the Ropes.
  • Learn about the safe areas of the body to tie. This is a great and thorough guide to bondage safety.
  • Rope can be a scene in itself. “Tie them up and fuck them” is great if that’s your thing, but don’t discount the possibility of rope for the sake of rope. Some of my most amazing scenes have been rope and nothing else.
  • To keep your rope in the best condition, coil it and put it away as soon as you can after a session.
  • This is worth reiterating: NEVER leave a bound person alone!

Bound to Please Silicone Paddle

I’d never used a silicone paddle before, so the Bound To Please Silicone Paddle was an exciting new addition to my impact play collection. It measures 41cm long by 6cm wide and is nice and light to handle. Silicone is super easy to clean and sterilise (just chuck it in boiling water or use a body-safe medical wipe), and as it contains no animal derived materials is suitable for vegetarians and vegans.

BLack silicone paddle

I tested this one out with The Artist. From what I recall, my reaction to it was a string of profanity, followed by tears (because it hurt so fucking much, y’all). Due to the density of the silicone and the slender design, what feels like a relatively light stroke to the Top can deliver a hell of a sting to the bottom.

This thing is fucking vicious.

SIlicone paddle

I absolutely adore this paddle. But I am an experienced bottom and have been doing impact play for well over a decade at this point. Unless you have a high pain tolerance and a very clear idea of your body’s capabilities and limits, I cannot recommend this paddle to a beginner.

A wide leather paddle or a paddle that is padded on one side are great options for a gentler start for complete beginners! If you’re feeling brave enough to try this fucker, it retails for a very affordable £24.99.

Paddle Tips & Tricks…

Black silicone paddle in anoymous hand
  • Start slowly. People can take more impact if you build up gradually rather than just whack them at full force straight away!
  • Remember that the goal isn’t “take as much as you possibly can”. The goal is for both of you to have fun and get something out of the session.
  • Get clear about what kind of scene you want and what impact play means to you. Playing with punishment is hot to some people, and emotionally painful for others. “Teacher spanking a naughty student” roleplay is a VERY different scene to “I’ve had a terrible week and need you to spank me until I cry“, even though both might superficially look similar.
  • Learn the safe areas of the body to hit. Upper back and butt = good. Thighs, chest and genitals = yes if you’re careful. Face, head, joins, spine, lower back and neck = absolutely not.
  • Making your partner count the strokes and/or ask you for them can be super hot. Try phrases like, “Thank you Sir/Miss, may I have another?”

Other recommendations for your beginner kit…

When you’re just starting out in kink, you don’t necessarily want to spend a fortune on kit – especially before you’ve fully worked out what you like! Exactly what you prioritise spending your money on will, of course, depend on your interests. But here’s a few things I think you should consider for your basic all-purpose kink kit…

Thank you to Francesca at The Pleasure Garden for sending me these items to review. Please check out the affiliate links in this post – by buying from The Pleasure Garden, you’ll be supporting a small woman-owned business as well as sending a little commission my way to help me keep doing what I’m doing. All views are, as always, my own.

[Toy Review] Satisfyer Power Flower

I came home from my holiday a couple weeks ago to several parcels. One of which was an unexpected treasure-trove from Satisfyer, containing not one, not two, but SEVEN (7) new vibrators. My cup, or something, runneth over. Anyhow. It seems Satisfyer have moved on from just creating suction-based toys, and are now doing a line of more classic vibrators too.

Given the lackluster nature of Satisfyer’s other recent offering (I say lackluster as if I myself didn’t refer to this product as “the worst designed sex toy I have ever had the misfortune to encounter,”) I wasn’t altogether hopeful when it came to testing these out.

That’s why the Power Flower, the first one I pulled out to test on account of its interesting shape, was SUCH a surprise.

This toy is fucking awesome, folks.

Let’s back up a bit and look at some specifics…

The Power Flower is a red silicone vibrator, with a split tip that divides into three “petals”. Like a flower, get it? These petals “flutter” when the vibe is turned on.

The Satisfyer Power Flower viewed from above.

The Power Flower boasts an ergonomic loop-style handle, which fits really well with my small hands. The loop size is 1″ x 1.3″, and I can comfortably fit 2 fingers through it. The toy is 7.5″ in total length (4.75″ insertable, should you choose to do that), and 1.5″ wide at the widest point. It’s fully waterproof and USB rechargeable.

It operates on a simple three-button interface: On/Off, Up, Down. There are six levels of intensity and six different patterns. The buttons are easy to press and the interface is intuitive. The ability to click up or down through settings (rather than having to loop all the way around) is very much appreciated.

The buttons of the Satisfyer Power Flower

Keeping things clean & safe…

This toy is, of course, completely body-safe. The shaft and petals are made entirely of smooth, phthalate-free, non-porous silicone, and part of the handle is made of ABS plastic (also a body-safe material).

The one downside of this shape is the difficulty that cleaning it can present. Bodily fluids and bacteria can easily get trapped between the petals or in the little “dip” between them. So take extra care when cleaning your Flower! This toy is waterproof, so you can either dunk it in a 10% bleach solution or use a sterile medical wipe, followed by warm water and gentle soap, to get it clean.

Due to its shape, you also can’t really effectively use a barrier with this toy. So if you’re sharing it with a non fluid-bonded partner, please make sure it gets a really thorough clean between uses!

The Power Flower in use…

I honestly cannot overstate how much I loved this toy!

I was a bit intimidated to use it with no warm-up (my clit is picky and easily over-stimulated!) So I warmed up with a standard vibrator (a lovely offering from Rocks Off, since I know you were wondering – review coming soon!) and then got down to business with the Power Flower.

Friends, I orgasmed in less than a minute and immediately took to Twitter to be like “FUCKING HELL BUY THIS TOY.”

Okay, let’s back up a bit and talk about how it actually felt. Remember that “Nuzzle Tip” attachment I gushed about months ago? Well, this is sort of like a somewhat gentler version of that. The petals surround your clitoris and, well, flutter against it as they vibrate. As someone who finds direct and very pinpoint clitoral contact uncomfortable (hence why I didn’t like the famed Zumio,) this was an incredible sensation for me. Because it gets the hood, sides and whole area surrounding the clit, it basically encases the whole area in pleasure.

If you’re into very pinpoint stimulation, this toy may not do it for you. But if something a little more indirect is your jam, get your hands (and bits) on one of these!

Great for cocks too!

This toy came out for a second go during a play session with Mr CK. (Having your partner use this toy on your clit during penetrative play – recommend!) He had the bright idea to see how it worked on a cock.

He literally placed the end of the toy over the head of his penis so that the petals were surrounding the head (they’re quite flexible so you can do this!) The reaction when he turned the toy on was… intense and immediate. So, though this toy is designed for vulvas, it’s also a great option if vibrations around the head of your penis are a pleasurable thing for you.

Mr CK did not orgasm from this toy on this occasion but says he feels as though he probably could, with sufficient warm-up.

So do I recommend it?

Oh my god, yes. This toy has gained one of the rare and coveted “basically lives by my bed” spots.

The Power Flower retails for $49.99 and is available from Peepshow Toys or SheVibe. I have not yet found a UK-based company stocking it.

Thanks to Satisfyer for sending me this toy to review. All opinions are, as ever, my own. Please use the affiliate links contained in this post, which sends a small commission my way at no extra cost to you!

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Desire Remote Control Knicker Vibrator

One of the requests I receive most often is for remote, “vibrating panties” style vibrators. I’m not sure what it is about this idea that’s so popular. Perhaps it’s the covert, playing-in-public naughtiness of it? Problem is, most of them are rubbish. I bought my first pair when I was 18, tried them once and never used them again – the design was poor and the vibrations weak.

So I am really pleased to report that, finally, I’ve found an Actually Effective vibrating underwear style toy, in the form of Lovehoney’s Desire Remote Control Knicker Vibrator.

What’s the buzz?

Don’t you just love this colour?

I’m really into the Desire range as a whole. The sleek black-and-purple designs, smooth body-safe silicone and decent motors make them really solid choices for beginners and toy aficionados alike.

This toy is actually three separate pieces: the vibrator itself, the remote control, and the knickers to use it with. The vibrator is 4″ long, saddle-shaped and made of smooth, rigid silicone, with a single button on the top and a nub on the underside which rests against the clitoris when worn.

The remote control is small and egg shaped, and also silicone-coated. Worth noting is that while the main toy is rechargeable, the remote control takes a single CR2032 battery (included). The main vibrator is waterproof, but the remote is only splash proof so take care not to get it wet.

Silky smooth lace and a pretty and practical tie-side design.

Including the knickers with this toy is a really nice touch. They’re made of soft black lace and tie at the sides with dark grey ribbons. Because they’re tie-up, they are super adjustable. I wear a UK size 16 and there was tonnes of room left over once I’d tied them on snugly – I reckon they’d fit up to at least a size 20 or 22, easily. The knickers have a little pouch in the gusset where you slip the vibrator to keep it in place.

All of this comes in a stylish and convenient black case, and the toy has a travel lock so you don’t need to worry about it switching on in transit.

The remote control range on this toy is about 8 metres, assuming a clear line of sight.

Power, settings and functionality

The Desire Knicker Vibrator has a whopping 12 speeds. Of course, being the ridiculous power-queen that I am, I simply put it on the highest setting and left it there. The higher settings have a decent level of power, though they’re not as rumbly as I would ideally like. The top level did bring me to orgasm, but I would have liked a setting or two higher. Of course, more powerful toys = more powerful motors, which = more expensive end product, so it’s a trade-off.

I hate patterns. Did I mention that? I fucking hate patterns. I don’t like them and I don’t use them. However, if you’re a pattern fan, then this toy has plenty of variety to offer you, as shown in the handy patterns diagram provided on the Lovehoney product site and in the instruction booklet.

The best thing about this toy’s design is the shape, which sits comfortably along the curve of the vulva. The bump on the end is ideal for brushing against the clit and providing some gentle friction.

Controls-wise, the toy itself has one button which you can use to cycle through the settings without using the remote control. However, you cannot turn the power level up or down on the toy itself. The remote has three buttons: power up, power down, and the centre button which changes the pattern as well as switching the toy on and off. Worth noting is that you need to switch the toy on using the main button on the body of the vibe before it will work with the remote control. Just hold the button down until it lights up.

So can you actually use it in public?

My verdict here is… maybe.

I don’t entirely agree with the description of this product as “whisper-quiet.” It’s far from the loudest toy I’ve encountered, but it does have a distinct buzz. That said, last year we took our play partner out wearing another Desire product under her clothes (the Butterfly, if you’re curious) which we surreptitiously switched on and off during dinner and no-one was any the wiser. So it’s entirely possible that this toy is also discreet enough once masked by layers of clothing and the ambient noise of public spaces.

What I like about the design of the knickers with the little pouch is that they keep the toy in place pretty well, including while walking around.

So do I recommend it?

That depends on what you’re looking for, really.

If you’re after a vibe to simply masturbate with in the usual way to get you off, this is probably not your best choice. I’d recommend going for the bullet or for the pebble clitoral vibe instead.

However, if you’re after a knicker vibe/”vibrating panties” style experience, or something to hand your lover the control to as you go about your day, this is a great option for you.

A sexy present for Valentine’s Day, perhaps?

The Desire Knicker Vibrator retails at £74.99.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Desire Knicker Vibrator to review. Links in this post are affiliate links and if you use them, I make a small commission. All photos are by me except the pattern diagram, which is property of Lovehoney.


[Kink Product Review] Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit

I often groan at the idea – and the reality – of sex toy kits. Too often, they’re lots of cheap and bad quality things shoved together in a pretty box and sold for a premium. If pressed for an opinion, I’ll nearly always tell my readers to forego a kit and spend a bit more on just one or two quality items. However, I try to keep an open mind, and occasionally something surprises me. The Take Control Bondage Kit from Lovehoney pleasantly surprised me.

Through the eyes of a beginner…

I’m practically a kinky veteran at this point. I’ve been practicing BDSM for about a decade and have accrued a sizeable collection of toys – expensive leather floggers, my fabulous vegan leather collar, the gorgeous hand-made whip I gave Mr CK last Christmas, our electro-play kit, and more. So beginner kits are not something I would ever normally buy for myself. Therefore, I am trying to step back in time ten years or so and view this kit through the eyes of someone who is just starting out in their kinky explorations.

Inviting and Fun Packaging…

The Take Control Bondage Kit comes in one simple box, with all the products clearly displayed on the front so you know exactly what to expect. The packaging is bright and fun, which I suspect is a deliberate choice to make it non-intimidating to the new and nervous.

There’s a LOT of information on the box, too. I really like the way that there’s a brief description on how to use each item on the back, and also that they pay attention to safety and consent! The box reminds you to use safewords, never leave a bound person alone, and have a non-verbal safe signal if someone is gagged. In this regard, I’m really impressed. It’s pretty 101 stuff, but safety/consent 101 is exactly the information that the target market for this kit needs. A+ for that.

The unboxing…

I wasn’t delighted with the way the box was packed – everything was just sort of piled in, each item wrapped in a cellophane wrapper. It would have been nicer to have an inner tray with slots for everything. Some little storage bags for the items would also be a welcome addition. Assuming you don’t want to throw everything back in the box when you’re done playing, it’s not an ideal storage solution.

With that said, I was immediately pretty impressed with what was inside. Some (many) beginner BDSM kits are filled with things that are dubiously even safe, let alone of good quality.

Let’s take a look at what’s inside, shall we? Just for fun, I’ve included a fun tip or an idea to try with each item.

1: Blindfold

This blindfold is super comfy. It’s nice and thick and padded, and I couldn’t see a thing when it was on. The band is stretchy, too, so it should fit most people comfortably.

Pro kink tip: blindfold your partner and stroke different things across their body – a silk scarf, a piece of velvet, the tails of your flogger – and make them guess what each item is.

2. Nipple suckers

I really liked these! They’re a great gentle introduction to nipple play, and perfect if you want some sensation but without the pain of clamps or clothes pegs. I have pretty small nipples on fairly large breasts, and I found these stayed in place very nicely once I’d suctioned them onto my chest.

If you flick or hit them too hard, they will fly off, but they can withstand some gentle playing and wiggling.

Pro kink tip: tell your partner to fetch you something from another room with these on. They’ll have to move carefully… they’ll be spanked if one falls off!

3. Ball gag

Full disclosure: I hate ball gags. I fucking hate them. They make my jaw hurt, they make my face contort into an expression that no-one could possibly find attractive, they make me drool, and I can’t kiss my partner when I’m wearing one. I. Hate. Them.

With that said, this is a good one if you like that sort of thing. The holes make it breathable, and being silicone it’s non-porous which makes it hygienic. The holes do make it somewhat of a pain to clean, so take extra care when you’re cleaning it. Warm water and gentle soap is the best way to go here.

I also like how adjustable this gag is. With 9 buckle holes, it will fit most people comfortably.

Pro kink tip: make your submissive try to repeat words back to you (try phrases like “I’m a dirty little slut”) while gagged.

4. Flogger

This is a stingy little bastard! Don’t let the small size fool you, it can pack a wallop. The falls are made of thin rubber, which delivers a vicious sting when you put some force behind it. If pain isn’t your thing, you can drag it sensually across the skin for a gentle tickle. I would have liked the handle to have a bit more width and weight to it.

Pro kink tip: Try – gently – flogging the vulva or penis if your partner is up for it. Remember to clean your flogger thoroughly afterwards.

5. Wrist and ankle cuffs

These were the weakest part of the kit by far, for me. They’re quite thin and made of nylon, with no padding, which means they chafe if you put any pressure on them at all. They’re fine for exploring the feeling of being restrained, but if you’re into rough play and would be wanting to pull against them, they’re not a good option for that.

Try restraint with these, by all means, to see if you like it. But then ditch them and get some proper cuffs. And I hope it goes without saying that you should never, EVER suspend from wrist or ankle cuffs. These are not designed to take any real weight.

Pro kink tip: Restrain your partner then make them watch you masturbate in front of them.

6. Under-bed restraints

These are great, except for the tiny detail that they don’t fit on our bed! We have a Super King bed (which is the best thing ever, seriously. I always tell Mr CK that my relationship with him and the bed is polyamorous in itself.) Turns out these restraints fit up to King Size. So they’ll be fine for the vast majority of people, but if you have a ridiculous bed like us, they may not fit.

That said, they’re still a great addition to the kit. They’re strong, durable, and easy to set up… and tuck out of sight when you’re done, if you want to. The little clips mean you can easily add different cuffs to them, so when you ditch the rubbish cuffs in this set and get some better ones, you can still use them with this restraint system.

Pro kink tip: when your partner is restrained, run a cube of ice along their body… or drip candle wax onto their skin (read up on how to do wax play safely first, of course!)

7. Silicone suction-cup dildo

Do my eyes deceive me, or… no, it’s actually a body-safe dildo in a BDSM kit! With an insertable length of 6 inches and a diameter of 1.5″, it’s perfect for vaginal play. It’s possibly a bit ambitious for first-time anal sex or pegging, but most people could easily work up to it with a bit of time and warm-up.

The slight curve makes this dildo feel delicious for G-spot or prostate stimulation, and the silicone is super soft and silky. The suction cup is also a nice addition and makes this toy more versatile.

It’s even got a convenient hollow in the base where you can slip the bullet vibe that comes with this kit to turn your dildo into a G-spot vibrator!

Remember to use water-based lube with your silicone dildo for the best experience.

Pro kink tip: tease your lover’s entrance with just the tip of the dildo. If they want it inside, they have to thrust on to it!

8. Strap-on harness

This is actually the same harness that I bought as part of a pegging kit a few years ago. I’ve used it many, many times to top for both vaginal and anal penetration, and it’s still my favourite harness. It’s comfortable, the dildo stays in place well during thrusting, and the rings are interchangeable so you can use it with any dildo with a flared base.

Pro kink tip: If you have a vulva, put on a wearable vibrator before you put on your harness, so that you get some clitoral pleasure while you fuck your partner.

9. Wired bullet vibrator

This was the biggest surprise in the kit for me. I was fully expecting it to be awful. While it’s not the strongest vibrator in the world, it’s not a bad little bullet for the size. I was able to orgasm with it quickly and easily. It has a number of patterns as well as steady vibration speeds.

I didn’t love the wire element, but you cannot expect to get a wireless bullet for this price-point. It’s long enough for one partner to comfortably have control of the remote while the other holds the vibrator against their genitals.

Pro kink tip: switch it off just when your lover is on the edge of orgasm. Make them beg for release.

Other things to note

  • The bullet takes 2x AAA batteries, not included.
  • There is no real leather in this kit, making it entirely vegan-friendly.

Overall Verdict: do I recommend it?

On the whole, a very solid kit for the price. I wouldn’t recommend it to folks more experienced in kink and BDSM, but for those of you who are new and looking to explore different sensations and types of power-play, this kit is a great starting point.

The Take Control kit retails for £79.99 ($109.99 US) which is a reasonable price for the quality and variety. As you get more into your kink and discover what you like, I’d encourage you to drop more money on single items if you can – a quality, handcrafted whip or flogger will last you a lifetime, perhaps, or some really high quality natural fibre rope? But to get you started? Look no further.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Take Control Bondage Kit in exchange for an honest review. If you choose to purchase this or anything else from Lovehoney, please buy through my affiliate links – it supports the blog at no extra cost to you!

 

Men: Her Orgasm Is Not About Your Ego

This is my third post of #Smutathon2018: #SmutForChoice Edition. Please donate to our page for Abortion Support Network, and don’t forget to leave your email address or Twitter handle so we can enter you into the raffle to win some awesome sex toys!

Dear Well-Meaning Cishet Man,

This one’s for you.

You’re a good guy, right? You care about your sexual partner’s pleasure, and her orgasms. You even eat pussy! When DJ Khaled’s comments surfaced about “different rules” for men re. oral sex, you probably tweeted furiously “I’M A GUY AND I LOVE EATING PUSSY”.

A man and woman kissing. For a post about ego and sex.Well, okay. But slow down. I want you to read this with an open mind, and try not to feel attacked. That’s not my aim.

However, please – please – stop making your female partners’ orgasms about your ego! Let me explain.

When I started having partnered sex in my mid and late teens, my boyfriend compelled me to tell him I’d never had an orgasm before I met him. He’d decided this was the case.  Telling him it wasn’t seemed like it wouldn’t achieve anything but bruising his ego. He was very into the fantasy of me as the perfect innocent. So I went with it.

I think a lot of young women have similar experiences. Their (also young and often inexperienced) boyfriends want to feel like sex gods who introduce them to a world of pleasure they never knew existed before. They don’t want to hear “I’ve been having orgasms by myself for years”. This narrative is a big part of the Fifty Shades of Grey fantasy. Ana has not only never masturbated or had an orgasm. She’s never even thought a sexual thought until Christian “I-Don’t-Make-Love-I-Fuck-Hard” Grey deigns to deflower her.

How this played out for me was thus: he didn’t really know what I liked. I knew what I liked, but couldn’t tell him because then he’d known I’d – gasp – had sexual feelings and even touched myself before he showed up. So a long time was spent with him trying to get me off, and either getting pissed off that it took so long (when I got there at all) or me faking it because dude, it’s been two hours, my clit is rubbed raw. 

This is, of course, a sex education problem. We don’t teach young women that exploring their bodies is okay. We don’t teach boys that girls masturbate and hey, she might know a thing or two about her own body! Instead, we glorify this notion of “I’ve never felt anything like this before!” even when you’ve totally felt something like that before… a lot.

A big part of the problem, though, is that these attitudes don’t really change as we get older! I remember reading in a glossy magazine (it was probably Cosmo?) advice along the lines of “when he whips out a new move in bed, tell him you’ve never done that before, even though you totally did that with your ex”. (That’s how Cosmo speaks, right?) The point is that women are still supposed to coddle our male partners’ egos to the point of straight-up lying to them, in order to pretend they’re the only person who has ever unlocked our sexuality.

This also plays out in other ways. I hang out on the Sex Toys forum at Reddit and also similar groups on Fetlife, and time and again men will post: “looking for a sex toy for my partner, but it needs to not be too big or powerful. Don’t want it to replace me!” But what if that big dildo or power-tool vibrator could give their partner the best, most explosive orgasms of her life? I guess it doesn’t matter – what they’re thinking about is not her pleasure, but being upstaged.

Men: women’s sexuality does not exist to stroke your ego! If your partner has a rich and fulfilling erotic life with herself, and/or had a rich and fulfilling erotic life with other partners before you came along, this doesn’t imply anything about you! When she uses toys, she’s not replacing you!

If you want your partner to never have masturbated (or to pretend she’s never masturbated,) or if you want your partner to have never had good sex with anyone else until you came along, you are not being sex positive. You are not being a good lover. You’re making your partner’s sexuality a receptacle for your ego.

And this brings me on to the Great Pussy Eating Debate of 2018, and the problems I see with it. Obviously, what DJ Khaled said was gross, as are all the other ridiculous things straight men have said about going down on people with vulvas. However, a lot of the responses pissed me off too. A lot of men felt the need to weigh in on how THEY always go down on their partners. Which… might seem harmless but is actually indicative of a particularly insidious form of virtue signalling that often comes into play around (particularly heterosexual) sex.

Prioritising your partner’s pleasure isn’t something to brag about. It’s the bare fucking minimum.

The other place I see this kind of ego-tripping manifest is around the issue of whether or not a woman orgasms during a sexual encounter with a man – and how that orgasm happens, if indeed there is one.

Too often, I hear “I want to make her come from intercourse, no clitoral stimulation, what am I doing wrong?”.  What you’re doing wrong, my dude, is prioritising your fucking ego over her fucking orgasm. The vast majority of people with vulvas don’t experience orgasm from penetration alone. This is normal. What you need to do is realise you don’t actually have a problem that needs solving. Talk to your partner, and stimulate her fucking clit the way she likes.

Basically: sex is much better when you take your ego out of it. I promise.

[Toy Review] The Humdinger from Lovehoney

I’m working on a post at the moment about the best clitoral toys under £30/$4o. I’ve been reaching out to my contacts at the different toy companies I work with and oh boy, have these guys delivered! You’ll have to wait a little longer for the final post (I’m still deliberating over one or two of the entries!) but today I wanted to tell you about one of the products I’ve tested and am really impressed by.

Let’s ignore the silly name for a minute…

My hand holding the Humdinger vibrator(Why do sex toys so often have silly names anyway!?) The Humdinger by Lovehoney is a clitoral vibrator with a cup-shaped tip. The idea is that this tip fully encompasses the clit and surrounds it with vibrations. If you turn it over, there’s also a small, rigid nodule which can be used straight on the clit if you’re after more pinpoint stimulation. Though it’s a clitoral toy primarily, you could use it internally if you were so inclined – the bump might feel nice against your G-spot.

The Humdinger measures 7.6″ in total length, and about an inch in diameter. It is battery powered (you’ll need 2 AA batteries, not included) and fully waterproof. I do wish, as a rule, that companies would send their toys with batteries – but understand this pushes the price up for them, which would be passed on to the consumer. Pro tip from this sex toy lover: always keep a pack or two of AA and AAA batteries in your toy box!

As always, this toy arrived in a discreet parcel. It comes packaged simply in Lovehoney’s signature white box with a picture of the toy and some info about it on the outside. Don’t expect fancy packaging or anything at this price point, but honestly as an eco-conscious girl I’m all for simple packaging that means less we have to throw away or recycle.

Body-safe doesn’t need to mean expensive!

Also feat. a “Death Before Decaf” coaster because I am nothing if not painfully on brand.

The Humdinger retails for £14.99 at full price ($19.99 in the US) which is an absolute steal. It’s also currently on sale at just £1o, so this is a great time to grab a bargain!

This toy is fully body-safe. The material is smooth coated hard plastic, which is non-toxic and non-porous. It’s super easy to clean – a toy wipe or body-safe medical wipe will do a quick clean-up, and it’s submersible so you can wash it thoroughly with warm water and gentle soap. Your Humdinger should be condom compatible, but watch that the little pointy nodule doesn’t tear your condom!

Water-based or silicone-based lubes are fine with hard plastic toys.

The Humdinger vibrator on my desk.In use: a simple interface and nice rumbly vibrations

The Humdinger operates on a simple twist mechanism in the base. I really like twist controls on toys because it means you can control the intensity quite finely, and easily decrease or increase without having to press loads of buttons. The wavy body is ergonomic and comfortable to hold. It’s not the lightest toy,

While the Humdinger is not the strongest toy I’ve tried (including when measured against other toys at a similar price point,) it sports a reasonable level of power. The vibrations are also decently rumbly, so there is none of that horrible surface-level buzz that plagues so many cheaper toys.

It also has – joy of joys – NO PATTERNS! (I hate patterns 99% of the time.) Just solid, rumbly vibrations.

I really like the shape of the Humdinger’s tip. Having vibrations all the way around and over my clit was delicious and more than made up for the fact that I would have liked a tad more power. (Then again, when wouldn’t I like a tad more power?) The unique shape and the sensation of having my clit surrounded by vibrations really made this one for me.

All in all a good little toy for the price

I’m very happy to recommend this product! It’s cheap, body-safe, mid-range on power, and rumbly. An ideal pick for a beginner or anyone looking for quality clit stimulation on a budget.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Humdinger to test and review for you all! Shopping via my affiliate links sends a small commission my way and helps me keep doing this work. If you enjoy my work, please consider becoming a Patron!

[Toy Review] Oh-Moji Emoji Vibrator, Because Why the Fuck Not?

I am trying to grow my income from sex writing, because even though I love it, it takes a lot of time and energy. Please consider becoming a Patron and get access to exciting bonus content (including an  exclusive new piece of erotic fiction every Tuesday!)

Sex, as I have long held, is hilarious. It’s also many other things, of course – hot, sweet, loving, occasionally healing and transformative. But often we get so caught up in the notion of Sex As Serious Business that we forget fucking is meant, first and foremost, to be fun.

So, even though I entirely am here for beautiful toys and plain-but-functional toys and hyper realistic toys, I am also occasionally here for silly, funny and plain ridiculous toys. Enter the Oh-Moji.

Just for fun, I’m using emojis instead of title headers for this piece. Because I can.

😍😘😜

My friends at Lovehoney offered me a sneaky peek at their new toy line ahead of its release, and how could I say no to that? The new line, it turns out, consists of three Emoji-themed mini wand vibrators: heart eyes (the one I have,) blowing a kiss, and tongue-out.

These vibes are silly and cute, and clearly marketed towards younger consumers. I have mixed feelings about this; it does seem to be playing into stereotypes about young people and students. However, if a vibrator with an amusing, irreverent design is what it takes to get a young person to buy their first toy and start exploring their sexuality, I’m good with that.

Each Oh-Moji is a petite 5″ long, with a white-and-yellow handle decorated with the Lovehoney heart logo, and a yellow wand head with one flat side, where the emoji face is printed. They are USB rechargeable, and you get about an hour of continuous use from a two-hour charge. I do wish rechargeable toy batteries would last longer, in general!

The Oh-Moji has 11 settings; 3 constant speeds and 8 patterns. It is operated via a simple one-button interface, which you press to change through the settings. This does mean that if you find one you like and skip past it, you have to go allllll the way back through again.

💦🍆🛀

The Oh-Moji is NOT waterproof, so please don’t let it get wet or try to use it in the bath! Luckily, the silicone head is removable which makes for easy clean-up after use. You can, of course, also do a quick clean with a toy wipe or medical wipe (I buy mine in bulk from a medical supplies site). The Oh-Moji is a little small to use with a condom, though you could if you really needed to – and a dam would work just as well to avoid unwanted fluid exchange if you’re sharing the toy without sterilising it first. As ever with silicone toys, please use a good quality water-based lube.

🙂😀😌

There are several things I like about these product. The design makes me giggle, and I like how small and innocuous they are.

I also, obviously, love that they’re body-safe. So many cheap vibrators and other toys are made of crappy, unsafe jelly/rubber/PVC materials which can be porous or even toxic. No such worries with this one, as the head is pure silicone. People who cannot afford to buy expensive, high-end toys also deserve body safe products and I’m really glad that Lovehoney are trying to cater for a particular corner of the likely-to-be-low-income demographic.

😒😐🙁

So what didn’t work for me with the Oh-Moji?

Primarily, the level of power. I am a self-confessed power queen and a lot of weaker vibrators just aren’t enough for me. Unfortunately, this one fell into that category. I persevered, but it simply wasn’t strong enough to get me off. The vibrations were very buzzy, too, whereas I much prefer rumbly.

I also did not like how flexible the neck is. I like to be able to press a vibe into my vulva when I’m using it, and the bendy neck just makes it impossible to do this without pushing it away.

👍/👎?

Possibly not a bad choice for a first vibrator, especially if you’re looking for something on the gentler side. It’s body-safe and not too expensive (£29.99 at full price, currently on sale for £19.99). However, I do not recommend this product to anyone who likes rumblier vibrations or a higher level of power. Overall, I like them much less than I liked Positive Vibes, Lovehoney’s last cheap, cute-design, body-safe offering.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Oh-Moji in exchange for an honest review. If you purchase from them using my affiliate links in this post, I make a small commission which helps me keep doing this work. Photos are by me and not to be used without permission. 

[Toy Review] Sola Cue

Am I allowed to say I was ambivalent about a toy when I used it for its intended purpose,    bv but loved it when I repurposed it a bit? Because that’s how I feel about the Sola Cue, which was kindly sent to me by my friends at Peepshow Toys. (Use code COFFEE to get 10% off any purchase, including sale).

Right on Cue… Let’s Look Closer

(You knew there were going to be puns, right?)

The Sola Cue blue vibrator lying on a red and black laptop keyboard.

The Sola Cue is a multi-function vibrator designed for penetration and g-spot stimulation. It’s 7.5″ long (about 5″ insertable), 1.5″ across at the widest point, slightly curved, and pale blue in colour. I really quite like the blue – it’s an unusual colour for a sex toy compared to the more common pink/purple/red, and I’m here for it.

The Cue is USB-rechargeable via a magnetic charging point. You get about an hour of use out of a full charge, which was disappointing to me – a satisfactory masturbation session can often last that long or longer for me!

The Cue is fully waterproof, and also comes with a nice drawstring storage pouch which is more than big enough to hold the toy and charging cable with plenty of room left over. I’ve actually been using it to store a couple of other toys alongside the Cue. (As an aside, manufacturers, PUT STORAGE BAGS WITH YOUR TOYS PLEASE). They barely cost anything to add and they’re such a nice touch. The packaging was also classy and attractive. So far, this product and its presentation lives up to its luxury price point.

Join the Cue…  Cleaning, Safety and Sharing

The Sola Cue is coated entirely in silicone, making it body-safe and a breeze to clean. Just wipe it down with an antibacterial wipe and then give it a wash in some warm (not hot) water with gentle soap or toy cleaner.

Due to the shape, it’s easy to use this toy with a condom if you’re sharing it with a partner without sterilising it fully first. As ever, water-based lube is recommended.

Also: the Cue does not have a flared base, so don’t use it anally, please!

Shot by Cue-pid’s Bow…

The Sola Cue blue vibrator lying on a black pillow.I adore this toy.

“But Amy!” I can hear you saying if you read me often enough to be intimately familiar with my toy preferences[1], “you don’t like vibrations inside your vagina!” No, friends, I do not. So I assumed I wasn’t going to get on super well with the Cue, however well designed and well reviewed it is. (And it is both!)

Even so, like the good reviewer I am, I tried it for the purpose for which it is intended. And, yeah… I don’t like internal vibrations. They’re either pointless or uncomfortable for me, and at no point pleasurable in any meaningful way. I could feel, intellectually, that this was a really high quality g-spot vibrator. I just fundamentally do not like having my g-spot vibrated. Stroke it, pound on it, or leave it alone. Thanks.

However, as I was testing the Cue, I couldn’t help but notice two things:

First, this toy makes a wonderful dildo when the vibrations are off. The curve, the slight flex, the bulge where the head gets to its widest point, and the soft silicone combine to make it feel absolutely wonderful.

Second, the vibrations are strong and rumbly as fuck.

So I did the only thing an enterprising sex blogger could reasonably do, and stuck it on my clit. I had an amazing orgasm a few minutes later. The sensation is less broad than a wand, for example, but less pinpoint than a bullet – perfect for those in-between lovers. And because the vibrations are so rumbly, I can use it to bring myself to a second and even third orgasm without any annoying buzzing numbing my clit. This is the best new clitoral toy I’ve tried in ages, and it’s not even designed as a clitoral toy!

So do I recommend it?

Yes, wholeheartedly. If you like strong, rumbly vibrations on either your clitoris or g-spot, this toy may well have something wonderful to offer you. You can get yours from Peepshow, where it retails for $79.50. Don’t forget to use code COFFEE at checkout for 10% off this toy or any order!

Thanks to the lovely folks at Peepshow for sending me the Sola Cue in exchange for an honest review. As ever, affiliate sales help me keep the blog going, and all opinions are and will always be my own. Images are by me and not to be used without permission.

[1] Good God, does anyone read me that much!? You deserve a prize if you do.

[Toy Review] Pocket Pulse Remote by Hot Octopuss

The Pocket Pulse has been looking at us guilt-inducingly from the nightstand for the last week or so. Amidst our sexy times, there just never seemed like a good time to try it. So I was delighted when Mr CK let me know that he’d tried it during a wank session while I was at work, enabling me to finally write this review.

A banner ad for sex toy company Hot Octopuss, who sponsored a post on sex and mental healthThis is my first stab at reviewing a toy designed for people with penises, so please bear with me. This review is the result of a lot of talking with my partner about his experience as well as my own observations from the time we tested the toy together.

One thing I love about Hot Octopuss is their dedication to smashing sexual stigma. They do this with their #SexNotStigma campaign. They do it when they use their blog to talk about sex and mental health (which I’ve written for them about on three separate occasions). And they do it by creating genuinely new and revolutionary toys for people with penises, at a time when the notion of penis-owners – and particularly cis men – using toys is still often regarded with suspicion.

But how did the Pocket Pulse shape up?

Let’s take a closer look…

First, I want to give a major shout-out to HO’s marketing and packaging. Their toys always come in these gorgeous, black-and-gold boxes and they use such a brilliant range of gorgeous people of all different genders, ages, abilities, races and body-types. It’s just sexy and swanky as hell and I adore the whole aesthetic of this brand.

The Pocket Pulse is a smaller, more compact (3.5 x 2.5 inch) answer to the hugely popular but quite bulky Pulse III. It doesn’t only differ in side, though. Where the original Pulse III uses oscillating motion with HO’s patented PulsePlate technology, the Pocket Pulse houses more straightforward vibrating motors. It is essentially a vibrating stroker which fits around the penis via a somewhat-flexible ring. Like so:

The Pocket Pulse remote, a grey and black stroker toy for penis owners, with its remote.It can be operated either by the + and – buttons on the main body of the toy, or through the remote control. This remote makes it easier to change settings mid-wank with your free hand without interrupting your flow, and it also adds possibilities for interesting D/s and power exchange games! Try putting it on and then giving your partner control of the remote…

Given the flexibility of the band, the Pocket Pulse will fit a wide range of penis sizes. You can even use it from flaccid, which is really cool! Mr CK is on the larger side and said he found it fairly comfortable and not pinchy or overly tight, though he did acknowledge that on the next go he’d use lube with it. Anyone who reads me regularly will know that I always advocate lube! (Water-based, glycerin-and-paraben-free, please). Anyone with a much thicker than average penis might want to approach with caution, though – girth being much more relevant than length with this toy.

Safety, Care and Cleaning…

The Pocket Pulse is made of silicone and ABS plastic, making it completely body-safe (another point in favour of Hot Octopuss is that I feel 100% confident in recommending all of their products as safe).

It’s also waterproof, which not only means you can use it in the bath or shower, but also makes it a breeze to clean. I recommend a sterile wipe for a quick clean and warm water with a very gentle soap for a more thorough wash. Mr CK did point out that the raised buttons could present an issue in terms of harboring bacteria, so do take extra care cleaning those areas.

So how did he find it?

I was disappointed here, because I wanted so much to rave about this product and tell you it revolutionised my partner’s masturbation. Unfortunately, though, his overall impression was “underwhelming”.

Some direct quotes:

“It felt nice, but I don’t think it made my wank or my orgasm any better than just using my hand would have been with just my hand”.

“Not turned off by it, but no particular desire to use it again”.

“I didn’t really feel anything until it was on the top setting”. (So, uh, my partner might be as much of a power-queen as I am…)

Essentially, his impression was that he found it (at worst) much more of a hindrance than a help when it came to getting off, and (at best) okay-but-meh. And, it’s worth noting, this is a man who definitely enjoys vibrations on his penis! A wand on his cock can get him off more quickly than anything else at times.

I don’t want anyone to read this as us saying the Pocket Pulse is a bad toy. It’s not! It’s high quality and genuinely innovative. But all toys will not work for all bodies, and this toy didn’t work for this body in this circumstance. Which is unfortunate, as we both really wanted to love it, but it’s just the way it goes sometimes.

“I can see it’s a well-made product that will probably work for loads of people. But my body didn’t care for it”. – Mr CK

In conclusion

Even though this one didn’t rock our world, I’m still happy to recommend Hot Octopuss products in general.

I’d suggest giving the Pocket Pulse a go if you enjoy vibration sensations on your penis but find a wand too intense, or if you’re looking for a toy you can use from flaccid.

The Pocket Pulse Remote retails for £75 from Hot Octopuss directly. If you use my affiliate links to buy anything from them, I will make a small commission. You can also buy the non-remote version from Lovehoney, and US/Canada readers can buy either version from Peepshow Toys or Shevibe.

Image property of Hot Octopuss and used with permission.