[Toy Review] Tracy’s Dog Swirlii Rotating Vibrator

Before we get into today’s review of another Tracy’s Dog toy, the Swirlii rotating vibrator, the company have asked me to let you all know about their seasonal specials that have now launched for Christmas.

Naughty or Nice? Tracy’s Dog Makes Your Nights Bright!

Have you been naughty or nice this year?  No matter your answer, Tracy’s Dog is here to make your holiday nights a little brighter—and a lot more fun. With their exclusive “Naughty or Nice” campaign, they’ve got everything you need to treat yourself or someone special this season.

Up to 60% Off: Holiday Sale You Can’t Miss

Right now, Tracy’s Dog is offering up to 60% off their popular products! From bold and adventurous to soft and romantic, their Naughty and Nice collections are designed to match any mood. Ready to explore? Check out the Tracy’s Dog’s website and find your perfect match today.

There will be several fun seasonal activities available in the Tracy’s Dog app, which you can use with many of their bestselling toys including the OG 2 & 3, the Surreal, and the Beta:

  • Find your Christmas vibe with the Naughty vs. Nice Voting Showdown
  • Find out who’s on Santa’s naughty list with a fun ranked event
  • Share your funny and sexy Christmas secrets anonymously
  • Join the “Elf on the Shelf” Remix meme challenge

Hot new products are 10% off, and the highest discount allows you to enjoy up to 59% off! Plus you can use my exclusive code “coffee10” for 10% off your entire basket.

With that said, let’s dive into today’s review of the Swirlii rotating vibrator.

Tracy’s Dog Swirlii

Tracy's Dog Swirlii rotating vibrator

The Tracy’s Dog Swirlii is a wearable rotating vibrator designed to be worn inside your underwear for hands-free pleasure. It features a main insertable shaft which sits inside the vagina and rotates in a circle, a flexible small appendage that vibrates, and an external part with a raised bump that stimulates the clit. This external arm also helps to anchor the toy in place. At first, I wasn’t sure what the little flexible appendage was for or where to put it. Eventually I realised that it is meant to go inside along with the main inserable arm.

The Swirlii comes with a remote control as well as a drawstring storage bag. It is USB rechargeable with the included magnetic charging cable, and IPX7 waterproof (i.e. completely submersible.)

The Swirlii measures around 4.5″ in length and 5″ in height. Its insertable portion measures 3.5″ in length and around 1.4″ in diameter at the widest point. It is made of body-safe lilac silicone.

What I Liked About the Tracy’s Dog Swirlii

Tracy's Dog Swirlii rotating vibrator

The Swirlii rotating vibrator is such an unusual design, and I was curious to try it out. First let’s look at all the things about it that I liked.

  • It came attractively packaged in a smart and sturdy box, and the inclusion of a storage bag is a nice touch.
  • The colour is really pretty! I love lilac and it’s a more unusual colour for a sex toy than a brighter or darker purple.
  • The silicone is soft and smooth.
  • The flexibility of the external arm means that you can position it in a few different ways depending on what works for your body.
  • At first glance, I was really confused about the shape of the insertable shaft. I couldn’t work out why it’s almost scoop-shaped rather than just rounded. Eventually I realised it’s so that it kind of hugs the vibrating appendage (sorry, I can’t think of a better term for it!) against the front wall of the vagina – i.e. where the G-spot is for most bodies – when it’s in use. This initially baffling design is actually pretty clever!
Tracy's Dog Swirlii remote

  • I love the rotating motion! As someone who doesn’t really enjoy internal vibrations, this is such a fabulous change.
  • The user interface is simple, with a single button on the toy itself and then two buttons on the remote control. Learning how to use it is a breeze.
  • Sound-wise, it’s fairly quiet. I’m not truly convinced it’s quiet enough to wear in public (unless you’re in a very noisy space like a nightclub) but the inevitable whirring noise you get with rotating toys isn’t anywhere near as bad as many I’ve tried.
  • On the higher levels, the vibrations are pretty powerful.
  • The remote’s responsiveness is good and works up to 10m away.
  • Using the remote control, you can choose to use the vibrations and the rotation together or separately. You can also scroll through the settings – 10 vibration modes and 3 rotation modes – of each motor completely independently of the other.
  • When worn with underwear, it stays in place pretty well, allowing for hands-free use.
  • At £48.15, its price point is pretty reasonable.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Tracy's Dog Swirlii rotating vibrator

There were also a few things about the Swirlii that didn’t work so well for me.

  • Inserting two different pieces inside me can be tricky and uncomfortable unless I get the angle exactly right. It also makes the actual insertable diameter wider than will be comfortable for some users. A lot of lubrication is essential with this one. A couple of sachets of lube were included, but I won’t use them because they contain ingredients such as glycerin, propylene glycol, and disodium EDTA.
  • The vibrations are very buzzy. The result is that they make my clit feel numb and tingly long before I get close to coming.
  • I would have preferred dual-directional controls, preferably on the toy itself but at least on the remote control.

This might be petty, and admittedly isn’t a gripe with the toy itself, but this bit of the marketing copy also really bugs me: “Put on your sexiest lingerie, grab Swirlii and put it right into your panties. Call up your partner and hand him a remote.” Why are we assuming my partner is a “him”? I literally work in this industry and I still find this kind of assumed heteronormativity so so offputting and alienating.

Verdict

There were a lot of things about the Swirlii that I liked. Overall, though, I unfortunately have to conclude it’s not one for me due to the diameter of the insertable portions and the buzziness of the vibrations. I still think it’s a well-designed product and will work very well for many people, especially those who are comfortable with wider insertables and who enjoy strong but buzzy vibrations.

I’m glad it exists, but I think I’ll likely be passing it along for someone else to enjoy.

The Swirlii retails for £48.15 at full price. Get it direct from Tracy’s Dog and don’t forget: “coffee10” at checkout for 10% off.

Thanks to Tracy’s Dog for sponsoring this review and sending me the Swirlii rotating vibrator to test. All views are, as always, my own.

[Review] Lovehoney Advent Calendar 2024

It’s that time of year again when I do a day-by-day unboxing of the Lovehoney Advent Calendar for couples! Lovehoney UK is offering three advent calendars this year: a 12-day version and a 24-day version in partnership with Womanizer, as well as the Amorana Deluxe 24-day calendar which contains over £1100 worth of products. In the US, the 24-day version is the only one currently available.

Lovehoney Adult Advent Calendar 2024

I received the Lovehoney x Womanizer 24-day advent calendar. Straight away, I will say that I like the presentation of this Lovehoney advent calendar much more than previous iterations. The products are packaged in little individually labelled cardboard boxes in festive red and gold, rather than the tear-off doors that start to look a little scruffy when you’re a few days in. There’s also no plastic inner tray, cutting down on single-use plastic to make the whole thing more eco-friendly.

Lovehoney Adult Advent Calendar 2024

For the next 24 days, I’ll open one door each day and tell you a little about the item inside in a mini review with product info, pros and cons.

Without further ado, let’s dive into Day 1, shall we?

Day #1: Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator

Like previous iterations of the Lovehoney Advent Calendar, this one begins with a rechargeable bullet vibrator. This time, it’s a pretty rose gold colour with black button and Lovehoney insignia.

Lovehoney Adult Advent Calendar 2024 rechargeable bullet vibrator

Product Info

  • Material: ABS plastic with silicone button
  • Colour: Rose gold
  • Body safe? Yes, ABS plastic is non-toxic and non-porous
  • Waterproof: Yes, IPX-7 waterproof (submersible)
  • Size: 3″ length
  • Speeds/patterns: 3 speeds and 7 patterns
  • Lube-compatible: Any kind of lube is suitable
  • Cleaning: Sterile wipe or warm water and antibacterial soap
  • RRP if bought as a single item: £24.99

Pros

  • Light and compact – ideal for sliding between bodies during partnered sex or throwing into your bag for a sexy date
  • Surprisingly decent level of power for its size and price-point, and the hard plastic transmits the vibrations well
  • Versatile – designed for clits but great for penises, balls, nipples, and all kinds of other erogenous zones too (don’t use it anally, though, as it doesn’t have a suitable base)

Cons

  • Unlike many Lovehoney toys, it does not arrive with any charge so you’ll need to plug it in before you use it. This can ruin the mood if you’re aiming for an “unbox and use straight away” vibe.
  • A little more buzzy than I would prefer
  • Single button interface is kind of annoying when there are so many settings

Verdict

Lovehoney Adult Advent Calendar 2024 bullet vibrator

Once again, a solid basic bullet vibrator to kick things off. I would prefer it to be a bit more rumbly, but for the size and price-point it’s decent.

Day #2: Lube and Toy Wipes

Lovehoney Advent Calendar Day 2 box

Door #2 contains two items: a 60ml tube of Womanizer water-based lubricant and a packet of 10 Lovehoney toy cleaning wipes.

Pros

Lovehoney toy wipes and Womanizer water-based lube

  • The biodegradable wipes are eco-friendly
  • The handy travel sizes are ideal for taking with you on a date or weekend away
  • Both products are compatible with all toy materials including silicone
  • The lube has a nice, fairly thin and runny consistency that flows and spreads well
  • The lube is virtually scent-free and flavourless

Cons

  • The lube contains glycerin as the second ingredient. Experts believe that glycerin can damage the vagina’s mucus membranes and raise the osmolality of a lube, increasing the risk of irritation or even infection. Claims that glycerin contributes to yeast infections are somewhat controversial and hotly debated. However, experts at Stanford OB/GYN and the Cleveland Clinic believe there is a risk. Personally, I avoid glycerin-containing lubes for the sake of my vaginal health. They also tend to have an unpleasant sticky or tacky feeling after a while.
  • The toy wipes will clean your toy and should not be taken as a substitute for properly sterilizing it, especially if you are sharing it with a partner or partners.

Verdict

I like this combination of two miniature products together, but I would like to see the lube swapped out with one that doesn’t contain glycerin.

Day #3: Silicone Textured Dildo

Lovehoney Advent Calendar Day 3 box

Today’s box revealed a bright red silicone dildo with a curved shaft, gentle rippling texture on the underside, and slightly pronounced head. It also has a suction cup base and a hollow space where you can insert the bullet vibrator from Day 1.

Product Info

Lovehoney silicone textured dildo

  • Material: Silicone
  • Colour: Scarlet red
  • Body safe? Yes, silicone is body-safe and non-porous
  • Waterproof: Yes, there is no motor and the material is non-porous so you can safely use this toy in water
  • Size: 6″ length, 1.2″ diameter at widest point
  • Speeds/patterns: N/A
  • Lube-compatible: Water-based lube is best
  • Cleaning: Sterile wipe, warm water and antibacterial soap, or boiling
  • RRP if bought as a single item: A similar product retails for £24.99

Pros

  • Soft and flexible
  • Petite size makes it unthreatening for a beginner
  • Lovely curve, ideal for targeted G-spot or prostate stimulation
  • Large base makes the toy anal safe
  • Works with or without the bullet vibe from Day 1 (or any suitably sized bullet in your collection)
  • Texturing adds additional internal stimulation

Cons

  • Bullet vibe has a tendency to get stuck and be hard to remove (pro tip: lube it first!)
  • Base is too small for the toy to be harness-compatible

Verdict

Lovehoney silicone textured dildo

A great basic textured dildo! These kits are really aimed at people who are newer to toys/sexual exploration, and this item’s thoughtful design and small-ish size make it ideal for a first dildo. I would like to see a slightly larger base to make it harness-compatible, though.

Day #4: TPE Penis Stroker

Day 4’s box contains a TPE penis stroker, complete with a slot along the side to add the bullet vibrator from Day 1 (or any other bullet in your collection) if you want to.

Lovehoney Advent Calendar Day 4 box

Product Info

Lovehoney penis stroker around red silicone dildo

  • Material: Thermoplastic elastomer (TPE), a kind of soft plastic
  • Colour: Translucent white
  • Body safe? Ish. TPE is generally non-toxic but it is porous, which means it will harbour bacteria and cannot be fully sterilised. Don’t share it and don’t expect it to last forever. I recommend upgrading to a silicone stroker when you can.
  • Waterproof: Yes, you can use this toy in water safely, though it may damage the material more quickly.
  • Size: 4″ length but stretchy
  • Speeds/patterns: N/A
  • Lube-compatible: Water-based lube is best
  • Cleaning: Warm water and antibacterial soap. Dusting the toy with a little cornstarch after cleaning and drying may help to extend its life.
  • RRP if bought as a single item: This exact product is not available, but a similar item retails for £34.99

Pros

Lovehoney penis stroker around red silicone dildo viewed from above to show slot for bullet vibrator

  • A decent introduction to strokers if you’ve never used one before
  • Ability to use with the bullet vibrator from Day 1, transforming it into a vibrating stroker
  • Very stretchy to accommodate most penis sizes
  • Nice internal texturing that hugs and stimulates the entire shaft of your penis

Cons

  • Weird powdery texture that feels horrible on my hands
  • Material cannot be fully sterilised
  • Unlikely to last long

Verdict

It’s fine for what it is, but I would much prefer it were made of a non-porous material like silicone. Again: if you like the sensation, upgrade to a silicone stroker for a toy that will last you a lifetime and be far more hygienic.

Day #5: Kink Blindfold

Sensory deprivation can be a lot of fun to play with. By taking away one or more of the senses (such as sight) you heighten the others (such as touch). It can also be a great way to enhance anticipation, play with power and control, or otherwise explore whatever aspects of kink and BDSM appeal to you.

Today’s advent calendar box contains a kink blindfold. Made of polyester and with a pretty black and rose gold pattern, this blindfold measures 7″ across and 2.5″ top to bottom. A similar item retails for £7.99 if bought separately.

Pros

Lovehoney black and rose gold satin kink blindfold

  • Stretchy elastic means the blindfold will fit most users
  • Plushy padded backing is comfortable to wear
  • Pretty black and rose gold design
  • Doubles as a sleep mask (I have several of these now and as a seasoned kinkster I rarely use them for BDSM as I have better blindfolds, but I always take one with me when I travel to help me sleep)

Cons

  • Not quite big enough – it blocks most of the light effectively but I can still see around the edges a bit if I keep my eyes open
  • Cheap fabric is starting to pull at the edges and look less attractive after just a few wears
  • I’m not sure how well it would survive washing

Verdict

A perfectly serviceable basic blindfold if you just want to play but aren’t looking for complete sight deprivation. It would be better if it was slightly wider. If you enjoy playing with this, then it’s easy to upgrade to a better kink blindfold that will last you longer and block more of your vision.

Day #6: Crystal Butt Plug

Box #6 contains an aluminium metal butt plug with a sparkly red crystal-look base.

Product Info

Lovehoney advent calendar crystal butt plug

  • Material: Aluminium
  • Colour: Rose gold body with a red gem base
  • Body safe? Generally yes; aluminium is a non-toxic and non-porous metal that is safe for use in sex toys. However, some aluminium can contain traces of nickel so I’d be very cautious if you are allergic.
  • Waterproof: Yes, you can use this toy in water with no issues.
  • Size: 3″ in total length, 1.1″ in diameter at widest insertable point
  • Speeds/patterns: N/A
  • Lube compatible: Yes, any kind of lube is suitable
  • Cleaning: Sterile wipe, 10% bleach solution, or warm water and antibacterial soap. I wouldn’t boil this one or put it in the dishwasher as it might damage the glue holding the gem in place.
  • RRP if bought as a single item: This similar toy retails for £22.99

Pros

Lovehoney advent calendar crystal butt plug

  • Surprisingly light – aluminium is a lot lighter than stainless steel, making it a more accessible entry point for metal toys
  • The rose gold body and red crystal colour scheme is really pretty
  • Great for temperature play – just pop it in the fridge or run it under some warm (not hot) water right before use
  • Small size likely to make it suitable for more users

Cons

  • In general, I think a metal anal toy in a set aimed at beginners is a bold choice. I might have gone for silicone instead.
  • The firm rounded base might dig in after you’ve been wearing it for a while and could be uncomfortable

Verdict

A nice little metal plug; personally I would have gone for silicone if I were designing this kit, but as entry-level metal anal toys go this is a decent one. The pretty colour and sparkly crystal make it super cute, too.

Day #7: Vanilla Massage Oil

Day 7’s box contains a 30ml bottle of Lovehoney’s vanilla massage oil. Massage can be a great precursor to sex, a way to connect intimately and show love and affection to a partner without getting your genitals involved, or a form of aftercare. For those in kinky dynamics, it can also be a fun form of service!

Product Info

Lovehoney vanilla massage oil

This vanilla massage oil contains just four ingredients:

  • Ethylhexyl palmite: A common and safe emollient and carrying agent which can soften and smooth the skin.
  • Caprylic/capric triglyceride: Derived from coconut oil and glycerine, this antioxidant also smooths the skin and helps to bind other ingredients. It is safe for topical use unless you have a coconut oil allergy.
  • Isopropyl myristate: An emollient with low viscosity which softens, smooths, and moisturises the skin and is safe and beneficial for most users. It may cause skin irritation in a small minority of people, usually those with existing skin conditions.
  • Parfum (aroma): This is a weird one. “Parfum” isn’t actually an ingredient but a concoction that could contain any of over 3000 ingredients designed to make a product smell good. Some people recommend avoiding products with this mystery mix, others say it’s probably fine as long as you don’t have an allergy or sensitivity. Personally I don’t worry about it too much for products for occasional topical use (such as massage oils), but your risk tolerance may vary.

This oil is also sold separately under Lovehoney’s Fifty Shades of Grey branded products and retails for £11.99 for 30ml.

Pros

  • Nice vanilla smell, distinctive but not overpowering or too “chemically”
  • Glides on smoothly and has a pleasant skin feel

Cons

  • Dries out quickly and doesn’t last particularly well, meaning you might need to reapply it regularly
  • May be unsuitable for those with fragrance sensitivities or certain skin allergies
  • Leaves a slight oily feeling on my hands after use

Verdict

Not my favourite massage oil, but it’s fine. I wouldn’t likely buy this again as there are other massage products I like a lot more.

Day #8: Wrist Restraints

Lovehoney Advent Calendar Day 8 box

Today’s box contains a pair of velcro-shut wrist cuffs with plastic hardware. The cuffs are black, and the hardware is rose gold, matching various other items in this set. I’ll say this for Lovehoney and Womanizer, they have their aesthetic cohesion down.

Pros

I will say straight away that these are a huge step up from the 2021 calendar’s “wrist restraints” (glorified ribbons and frankly pretty dangerous) and from 2022’s uncomfortable rough cuffs. These ones are made of a soft material that feels nice against the skin.

Lovehoney advent calendar wrist cuffs

Other pros include:

  • Velcro fastenings come undone in seconds, enhancing safety and making them beginner-friendly
  • Very adjustable so will fit just about anyone
  • Attached clips allow you to cuff someone’s hands together or clip them to something else

Cons

  • Clips are tiny, so what you can fasten them to is pretty limited
  • Not particularly strong – the hardware feels like it would break if you pulled against them too hard
  • When you fasten them tighter, there’s nowhere for the spare velcro to be tucked so it just sort of… dangles

Verdict

Lovehoney wrist restraints from adult advent calendar 2024

You might be sending a theme in my overall impression of this kit: these cuffs aren’t amazing, but they’re fine. If you want to play with light bedroom bondage or try out getting restrained for the first time, they’re ideal. If you’re looking for something a bit more heavy-duty, though, you’ll probably want to upgrade to leather cuffs (or vegan equivalent) or go to a dedicated kink gear maker.

Day #9: We-Vibe Sync Lite

Lovehoney Advent Calendar Day 9 box

The We-Vibe Sync Light is a wearable vibrator designed to be inserted into the vagina during penetrative sex, with an external arm that provides clitoral stimulation. Of course, as always, there are lots of different ways to use toys and the suggested way is just one of them!

We-Vibe Sync Lite

Product Info

  • Material: Silicone
  • Colour: Black
  • Body safe? Yes
  • Waterproof: No – toy is IPX-4 splashproof but should not be submerged
  • Size: 3″ insertable length
  • Speeds/patterns: 4 speeds and 6 patterns
  • Lube-compatible: Water-based lube is best
  • Cleaning: A body-safe sterile wipe is best for non-submersible toys
  • RRP if bought as a single item: £79.99
We-Vibe Sync Lite

Pros

  • Middling power vibrations – they’re not knock-your-socks-off, but they’re decent
  • Flexible middle between the two arms allows you to position the toy in whatever way is most comfortable for your body
  • App controls! I did not expect to find an app-controlled toy in this kit but I am very pleasantly surprised. We-Vibe’s app is free from the Android or iOS stores and allows you to connect at close range or remotely from anywhere in the world.
We-Vibe Sync Lite

Cons

  • No remote control, which is a downside if you don’t want to use the app
  • Single button interface on the body of the toy is kind of annoying
  • Not waterproof
  • In my experience, these toys don’t generally stay in place well during partnered sex without someone holding them in position

Verdict

This is a really impressive addition to the kit! These types of toys are normally seriously pricey, so this is a great introduction for those who are curious about trying one. The app controls are also a really nice extra, particularly for couples who want to connect sexually over long distance.

Day #10: Silicone Cock Ring

Today’s item is a basic silicone thick cock ring. Cock rings are worn around the base of the penis, restricting blood flow outwards to help the wearer maintain a stronger erection for longer. Some also say they heighten sensation and intensify orgasm.

Lovehoney advent calendar thick cock ring

According to Healthline, cock rings are safe for the vast majority of wearers as long as you listen to your body, wear a ring of a suitable size, and follow some basic precautions, such as using lube and not leaving the ring on for more than 30 minutes at a time.

Product Info

  • Material: Silicone
  • Colour: Black
  • Body safe? Yes – silicone is non-porous and non-toxic.
  • Waterproof: Yes, this toy is non-porous and has no motor so can safely be used in water
  • Size: 1.5″ diameter but stretchy
  • Speeds/patterns: N/A
  • Lube-compatible: Water-based lube is best
  • Cleaning: Boiling, a 10% bleach solution, a sterile wipe, or warm water and antibacterial soap
  • RRP if bought as a single item: £9.99 for a pack of 3

Pros

Lovehoney advent calendar thick cock ring

  • Very stretchy to accommodate most penis sizes
  • Extra-thick cock ring enhances comfort

Cons

  • May be uncomfortably tight on those with very girthy penises

Verdict

Not much more to say on this one – a great basic cock ring that is also body-safe and should be durable and long-lasting.

Day #11: Spanking Paddle

Today’s item is a mini spanking paddle with a pretty black and rose gold design matching other items in the kit. It’s made of silky satin on one side and faux leather on the other, and has a ribbon wrist loop. It measures 9″ in total length.

Lovehoney spanking paddle

A similar item retails by itself for £16.99.

Pros

Lovehoney spanking paddle

  • Very safe as an intro toy for impact play beginners – you’re very unlikely to do anyone real damage with this
  • Slightly different sensation from each of the two sides (the leather side is a little more stingy)
  • Impressive slappy noise which is hot to some people

Cons

  • Unlikely to satisfy anyone who enjoys more than very mild pain
  • Loud noise may be problematic if you have to keep your play discreet
  • Not particularly robust, will probably fall apart after a bit

Verdict

This is a perfectly okay spanking paddle for total beginners. It’s gentle enough to be safe and non-threatening, and might be a decent way to figure out if impact play is something you enjoy. It’s unlikely to satisfy serious BDSM enthusiasts but honestly, serious BDSM enthusiasts aren’t the target market for this kit anyway.

Try it out and, if you like it, upgrade to a well-made BDSM paddle.

Day #12: Snap Sex Position Card Game

Today it’s literally the card game “Snap” but as a sex position card game. Is the idea that you play the game and then when you get a “snap”, you have to have sex in that position? Because YKINMKBYKIOK and all, but that doesn’t sound sexy to me.

Also, they should really rename this as “Sex Position Card Game For Very Athletic Straight People.” Because seriously, look at them. They all assume, to a greater or lesser extent, a cisgender man and woman having penetrative vaginal sex. Some of them are fine, if fairly generic. Some are potentially doable, if you’re very fit, like “The Wheelbarrow”:

Snap Sex Position Card Game sample cards from Lovehoney Advent Calendar 2024

Others are… well, this:

Snap Sex Position Card Game "Hold On Tight" sex position

Stop it, Lovehoney. You’re being silly now.

Pros

  • Potentially a fun, goofy and low-pressure way into exploring new positions, I guess?
  • Calls to mind this scene from The Bold Type in which our three bestie protagonists test out a new sex position for Scarlet Magazine.
  • Some of these, at least, could potentially work for strap-on sex or anal sex (at least if you made some minor adjustments) as well as vaginal sex.

Cons

  • A lot of these are just fairly standard positions that most people who have penetrative sex likely already have in their repertoire.
  • The others are, as we have identified above, anything from “improbable if you’re not an athlete” to “physically im-fucking-possible.”
  • Extremely cishetero and gendered

Verdict

You might get a little inspiration from this, or at the very least you’ll have a laugh trying out some of the more challenging positions. Overall, though, I don’t know why we’re still pretending that contorting yourself into all kinds of weird shapes is superior to or hotter than good old missionary, doggy style, or over-the-edge-of-the-bed fucking.

Day #13: G-Spot/P-Spot Massager

Today’s product is a G-Spot/P-Spot Massager. In other words, a penetrative toy that can be used to stimulate either the G-spot or the prostate. It has an optional slot to insert a bullet vibrator such as the one from Day 1.

Product Info

Lovehoney black silicone P-spot massager

  • Material: Silicone
  • Colour: Black
  • Body safe? Yes
  • Waterproof: Yes (though if you’re using a vibrator with it, make sure that’s waterproof too!)
  • Size: 4″ insertable length, 1.4″ diameter at widest point
  • Speeds/patterns: N/A
  • Lube-compatible: Water-based lube is best
  • Cleaning: A body-safe sterile wipe, boiling, or gentle antibacterial soap and water
  • RRP if bought as a single item: N/A – not available

Pros

Lovehoney black silicone P-spot massager

  • Suitable and safe for both vaginal and anal use
  • Can be used with or without a vibrator
  • Very flexible, which can help with insertion and comfortable positioning
  • Bulbed head for precision stimulation of the G-spot or prostate
  • Narrow neck allows it to sit comfortably once inserted
  • Beginner-friendly size

Cons

  • None that I can see!

Verdict

This is a lovely item and a great inclusion in the kit. It’s good to see items that are suitable for people regardless of their body or genital type, the shape and curve are excellent, and the size isn’t too intimidating for those who are new to anal play.

Day #14: Menthol Pleasure Balm

Today’s item is a 7g tin of Lovehoney’s menthol pleasure balm. This item isn’t sold separately in this form but it’s pretty similar to the Bliss Orgasm Balm, which I love and use regularly.

Product Info

Lovehoney menthol pleasure balm

In a nutshell, pleasure balm or orgasm balm is designed to be applied to the external genitals, especially the clitoris. The ingredients provide a tingling sensation and may encourage blood flow, promoting greater sensitivity.

The Menthol Pleasure Balm contains a pretty long list of ingredients, but most of them give me no cause for concern. It does contain propylparaben, and some people like to avoid parabens entirely for understandable reasons. However, according to a report by the Scientific Committee on Consumer Safety, “the SCCS has concluded that propylparaben is safe when used as a preservative in cosmetic products up to a maximum concentration of 0.14%.” I’m not a scientist, of course, but I would conclude from this data that the tiny amount in this product is unlikely to do you any harm.

Lovehoney menthol pleasure balm ingredients list

Unfortunately this balm contains beeswax, so it is not vegan.

Pros

  • 7g doesn’t sound like a very big tin, but you really don’t need a lot to get the effects so you’ll get a good few uses out of this
  • Genuinely works! I have had several tins of this stuff over the years and I love it. It really does enhance sensitivity (it’s not a magic orgasm spell, though, so keep your expectations realistic!)
  • Some of the plant-based oils and other ingredients may have beneficial properties for skin

Cons

  • Not vegan due to beeswax
  • Oily consistency can make clean-up a bit annoying
  • Strong minty scent may be unpleasant to some people

Verdict

I still really like this stuff, though I think personally I’ll be sticking to the vegan, paraben-free version.

Day #15: Plastic Massager

Today’s item is a handheld plastic massager. It’s red and sparkly, and has a central handle and then four arms each with a spherical bulb on the end to get deep into all those muscles and knots. On its own, this item retails for £5.99.

Lovehoney red sparkly plastic massager

Pros

  • Light weight and ergonomic design make it comfortable to hold and use
  • Great way to give a deeper massage, especially if your hands or wrists get tired or sore
  • Flexible options – use one, two, or all four ends at once for different sensations
  • Really good for getting properly into sore muscles!
  • Basically zero maintenance – just wash off excess massage oil after use and you’re good to go

Cons

  • Because it’s hard plastic, you need to be a little bit careful – you could possibly hurt someone if you press too hard. We’re not talking “serious injury” here, but maybe “nasty bruise.”

Verdict

Lovehoney red sparkly plastic massager

I really like this one. And it’s sparkly, which never hurts my opinion of a product!

Day #16: Micro Wand Vibrator

Today’s product is a micro wand vibrator. Look how tiny it is!

Lovehoney micro wand vibrator

Product Info

  • Material: Plastic body. I thought the head material was probably silicone but wasn’t 100% sure, so I flame-tested it and based on what I know about deciphering flame test results I think I’m correct
  • Colour: Black
  • Body safe? Yes, assuming it is indeed silicone
  • Waterproof: No
  • Size: 4.5″ in total length
  • Speeds/patterns: 3 speeds, 7 patterns
  • Lube-compatible: Water-based lube is best
  • Cleaning: Wipe the head with a body-safe sterile wipe (do not submerge this toy in water)
  • RRP if bought as a single item: £19.99 for something similar

Pros

Lovehoney micro wand vibrator

  • Small and discreet
  • Flexible neck for easy positioning
  • Easy user interface and satisfyingly clicky buttons

Cons

Lovehoney micro wand vibrator

  • Requires batteries, which are not included (2 x AAA)
  • Not waterproof
  • Vibrations not particularly powerful
  • Buzzy as fuck

Verdict

I think people see “wand vibrator” and assume that it’s going to be powerful. But this isn’t a wand in any meaningful sense. This is a wand. This tiny little thing, though, is just a crappy vibrator with a weak and buzzy motor designed to look like a micro version of a wand.

I already have something very similar from a previous calendar, and it’s often within reach because it does wonders for my sore neck when I’ve been sitting at the computer for too long. Partners have also really enjoyed having it used on them.

Day #17: Dice Sex Game

Today’s box contains a simple dice sex game. One dice includes pictures of items from the calendar (stroker, bullet vibe, paddle, mini wand, dildo, and massager). The other contains timeframes ranging from 1 minute to 15 minutes, plus a “free” option.

Lovehoney dice sex game

Pros

  • Can be a fun, low-pressure way into exploring with a partner if you are new and nervous about using toys or experimenting sexually
  • You can use the dice in different ways. I’m immediately thinking of a game where you roll the “implement” die three times and then have to come up with a quick scene that incorporates all three elements.

Cons

  • Things can end up feeling unbalanced if you follow the game too rigidly. If one person gets 15 minutes of something then the other rolls one minute, it’s probably not going to feel very mutual. Of course, you can get around this by creating “house rules” or just ensuring everyone gets roughly equal time (or whatever they want/need) even if you’re switching between different activities.

Verdict

Lovehoney dice sex game

Not really my thing, but perfectly fine for its intended audience.

Day #18: Ankle Restraints

Remember those velcro-fastening wrist cuffs from Day 8? Well, today’s box containd the matching set of ankle restraints. These, too, are black with rose gold hardware and come with a clip to fasten them together.

Pros

Lovehoney ankle restraints

  • Like the wrist cuffs, they’re a huge step up from the rough nylon cuffs and those unsafe ribbon things from previous years
  • Soft and comfy to wear
  • Safe and beginner-friendly as you can unfasten them in a second
  • Very adjustable sizing

Cons

  • The clips are tiny and not very strong
  • Annoying dangling velcro strap when they’re on
  • Mostly, I’m just annoyed that these were a separate item. All four cuffs should have been in the same box as they’re clearly a set.

Verdict

Exactly like the other half of this matching set (sensing a pattern here?) these are far from amazing, but they’re fine. They do the job if all you want to do is experiment with light bondage. If you find you enjoy it, you can always splash out on some properly made kink ankle cuffs later on.

Day #19: Kegel Balls

Day 19’s box contains a set of kegel balls, AKA ben-wa balls. Kegel balls are interesting, because there are a lot of lofty claims out there about them. They’ll solve incontinence! They’ll make your orgasms better! They might even make it easier to orgasm if you struggle!

Is any of this true?

Eh. Maybe. Check out my past posts on kegel balls and kegel exercisers, especially this one, to learn more about what the current research does and does not say.

In this post I will be approaching kegel balls solely as a sex toy designed for pleasure, not as any sort of health or wellness device.

Product Info

Lovehoney kegel balls

  • Material: Silicone
  • Colour: Red balls with black casing
  • Body safe? Yes
  • Waterproof: Yes
  • Size: 3″ insertable length, 3.5″ tail, 1.1″ diameter across each ball
  • Speeds/patterns: N/A
  • Lube-compatible: Water-based lube is best
  • Cleaning: Boiling is best as this will kill all bacteria even in hard-to-reach places
  • RRP if bought as a single item: This similar set retails for £12.99

Pros

  • Small enough for beginners
  • Long and strong silicone cord for easy removal
  • Removeable sling makes cleaning easy

Cons

  • None that I can find – these are great.

Verdict

An ideal introduction to kegel balls for anyone who has never tried them before.

Day #20: Rabbit Cock Ring

Day 20’s box contains a silicone cock ring with rabbit ears. This can be used with the bullet vibrator from Day 1, or on its own. When combined with the bullet vibrator, the ears can provide clitoral stimulation to the receptive partner during penetrative sex as well as stimulating the wearer. On its own, it still gives you all the benefits of using a cock ring.

Product Info

Black silicone rabbit cock ring

  • Material: Silicone
  • Colour: Black
  • Body safe? Yes
  • Waterproof: Yes
  • Size: 1.5″ ring diameter, 1″ ears
  • Speeds/patterns: N/A
  • Lube-compatible: Water-based lube
  • Cleaning: Boiling, soap and water, or a 10% bleach solution
  • RRP if bought as a single item: Not available but this similar item retails for £24.99

Pros

Black silicone rabbit cock ring

  • Versatile toy suitable for use during masturbation or partnered sex, and with or without a vibrator
  • Adds clitoral stimulation, which a large majority of vulva-owners need to orgasm and which is not always forthcoming during p-in-v sex
  • Wide band for comfortable fit
  • Stretchy to accommodate different sizes

Cons

  • May not fit people with very girthy penises comfortably

Verdict

Realistically, this toy is not something I’m likely to use. My experience has been that vibrating cock rings during penetrative sex don’t tend to do much for me as the stimulation they provide isn’t consistent enough. But everyone’s different and it’s a perfectly fine item, just not really for me.

Day #21: Beginner Nipple Clamps

Day 21’s box contains a pair of nipple clamps. They’re made of rose gold plastic, with a little decorative lightning bolt charm and red silicone tips. The slider design allows you to loosen or tighten them as desired.

Lovehoney beginner nipple clamps

They’re a variation on Lovehoney’s Tease Me clamps, which retail for £12.99.

Pros

  • They’re cute; I like the colour and the lightning charm is a fun touch
  • Easy to put on and take off quickly
  • Adjustable to fit different nipple sizes and tightness preferences
  • Very gentle, which makes them suitable beginner nipple clamps

Cons

  • That beginner-friendly gentleness means they’re unlikely to be enough for wearers who prefer any significant pressure or intensity
  • Won’t fit people with larger nipples
  • The slider starts to rub off the coloured plating after a few uses
  • They don’t stay on particularly well and fall off at the slightest tug

Verdict

These are fine if you’re just after a pair of purely decorative nipple clamps or want to try something very gentle for your first time. However, they’re neither particularly functional nor particularly durable for anything more than that. If you like them or want to experiment more with nipple clamps, get a more robust pair of adjustable clamps or try clover clamps.

Day #22: Finger Vibe Sleeve

Box 22 contains a finger vibe sleeve. There’s a space to insert a bullet vibrator (such as the bullet vibe from Day 1, or any other bullet in your collection that fits) and a loop for your finger.

Product Info

Lovehoney finger vibe sleeve

  • Material: Silicone
  • Colour: Red
  • Body safe? Yes
  • Waterproof: Yes (but the bullet vibrator you use with it may or may not be, so check first!)
  • Size: 2.5″ long sleeve for bullet, 0.5″ diameter finger loop
  • Speeds/patterns: N/A
  • Lube-compatible: Water-based lube
  • Cleaning: Boiling, soap and water, or a 10% bleach solution
  • RRP if bought as a single item: £29.99 with a bullet vibe included

Pros

Lovehoney finger vibe sleeve

  • Pairs with the bullet vibrator from Day 1, allowing yet another way to use it
  • Offers a fun new way to explore fingering and hand sex, which I believe are wildly underrated sex acts and should be explored far more
  • Gentle texturing on the underside offers additional clitoral stimulation
  • Can reduce the physical effort of the giving partner during hand sex, which is useful if you suffer from pain or fatigue in your hands

Cons

  • The finger loop is tiny! It was snug on me, and I have small hands. Someone with larger hands doesn’t stand a chance using this
  • If your bullet vibrator isn’t super powerful, the silicone dampens the vibrations
  • Texturing could do with being a bit more pronounced

Verdict

This is a really nice addition to the kit at least in theory. However, it feels to me like the design was a bit rushed and basic things – is the finger loop large/stretchy enough to be comfortable, is the texturing pronounced enough to be felt by most users? – were missed.

Day #23: Under-Mattress Restraints

Today’s item is a set of under-mattress restraints with clips to attach cuffs at each corner. These four-way restraints are designed to fit under your mattress, which then anchors them in place. Use in conjunction with the wrist cuffs from Day 8 and the ankle cuffs from Day 18 for a full set of restraints.

This set is similar to the Bondage Boutique Bound to Please Under-Mattress Restraints, which retail for £49.99 for a set including cuffs.

Pros

Under-mattress restraints set from Lovehoney

  • Adjustable to use with all bed sizes, including my fabulous super-king
  • Great way to try bedroom bondage if you want to tie someone to the bed but don’t have a metal bed frame or other suitable hard points.
  • Easy to tuck them out of sight quickly if you need to without dismantling the whole set-up
  • Strong and sturdy material
  • Safe and easy introduction to bondage
  • Pairs with the cuffs in this set or, if you prefer, you can upgrade to better cuffs and continue using the restraint kit

Cons

  • I feel like the under-mattress restraints and pairs of cuffs should have been ONE item in the advent calendar, not three. Otherwise, no complaints.

Verdict

Overall, this is a great addition for the second-last day of the advent kit. I’m also pleasantly surprised to learn they will work with my giant bad, having assumed they wouldn’t. For people who are brand new to playing with bondage and restraint, they’re a safe and accessible place to start.

Day #24: Womanizer Liberty 2

Day 24’s box contains the second of this kit’s two premium products (the first being the We-Vibe Sync Lite from Day 9!) Namely, the Womanizer Liberty 2, a petite clitoral suction stimulator in a neat little travel case.

Product Info

Womanizer Liberty 2 with case

  • Material: Plastic body and case, silicone nozzle
  • Colour: Black
  • Body safe? Yes
  • Waterproof: Yes, IPX 7 waterproof
  • Size: 4.5″ total length
  • Speeds/patterns: 8 intensity levels
  • Lube-compatible: Water-based lube
  • Cleaning: Soap and water or a 10% bleach solution, or remove the nozzle and boil-sterilise the nozzle only
  • RRP if bought as a single item: £89.99, available in various colourways

Pros

Womanizer Liberty 2 in case

  • Discreet and travel-friendly case
  • Waterproof for use in the bath or shower
  • Petite size makes it light and comfortable to hold
  • Removeable nozzle is easy to clean
  • Quieter than comparable models at the highest speeds
  • Two-way controls
  • 5 year warranty should anything go wrong

Cons

Womanizer Liberty 2

  • Buttons are not always as responsive as they could be – sometimes I have to press twice to get the speed to change

Verdict

Yes yes yes yes. This is an excellent product and a great note to finish on! Honestly, as long as you like at least a few of the other things at least somewhat, this toy kinda makes the value of the entire kit.

Phew. And we’re done! Will I do this again next year? Probably! Until then, I’ll return you to the regular C&K content you know and love.

The Lovehoney Advent Calendar 2024 (24 Day) retails for £149 at Lovehoney UK and $199 at Lovehoney US, and contains £457/$530 worth of products! Move fast if you want one – these usually sell out by mid November. Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the this set to review. All views are mine (with occasional input from Mr C&K!) Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Toy Review] Lovense Dolce

Lovense pioneered the world of app-controlled sex toys, and remains perhaps the biggest name in that particular field. I’ve been really enjoying doing a series of reviews of some of their bestselling products recently. Following my recent reviews of the Flexer and Nora (and my ages-ago reviews of the Ferri, Domi 2, and Lush 2), next up is my Lovense Dolce review.

What is the Lovense Dolce?

Lovense Lush review product image - C-shaped pink wearable vibrator

The Lovense Dolce is a dual stimulation clitoral and G-spot vibrator. With its body in the familiar C-shape that we see on many similar toys, the Dolce is designed to be wearable and to be used hands-free. The idea is that the wider of the two arms sits inside the vagina, while the other arm rests against the clitoris.

This toy is bendable, meaning that you can adjust the central hinge to position it in a way that works for your body. It offers an insertable length of around 3″, and the clitoral stimulator is around 3.5″ in length. The insertable diameter is 1.4″ at the widest point.

Product image for Lovense Dolce Review showing the toy's bendable central hinge

The Dolce is made of body-safe matte silicone (very matte – plenty of lube required with this one!) It is IPX7 waterproof, or completely submersible for up to 30 minutes. A full charge with the included USB cable takes 70 minutes and gives you up to 2 hours of runtime. It also comes with a storage pouch.

Lovense Dolce Review: The Good

I’ve had mixed experiences with wearable dual stimulation toys over the years. Some have worked pretty well for me, while others have been total failures. How did the Dolce stack up? First let’s look at the things about it that I did like.

Lovense Dolce product image close up on ribbed underside of the toy
(Please ignore my horrible ratty nails – they desperately need redoing!)

  • It offers clitoral stimulation! I have to admit I have never really understood the seeming obsession so many people have with the Lovense Lush – a toy that provides no clit stimulation at all, which most people with vulvas need in order to orgasm. If you enjoy the Lush but want to get your clit involved too, or if you haven’t bothered with it because you need clit stimulation with your G-spot vibes, then the Dolce might be the toy for you.
  • The Dolce’s bendable design is fantastic. One of the eternal problems with dual stimulation toys is that they simply do not fit everyone’s anatomy. You can adjust the Dolce’s hinge until it sits correctly for your unique body shape. It won’t suit all bodies, of course – no toy can do that – but it will work for far more than a fixed shape toy would.
  • The vibrations are seriously strong. This is by far the most powerful wearable dual stimulation vibrator I have ever tried. I’m not sure I would go as far as to describe them as rumbly – there’s definitely more buzz at the higher levels, in particular – but they’re powerful enough to get the job done.
  • I love the ribbed texture on the underside of the clitoral stimulator.
  • It has dual directional controls! I feel like I bang on about this all the time, but I am so sick of toys with one button interfaces. Being able to move through the inbuilt settings (3 speeds and 7 patterns) in both directions is a refreshing change.
  • It actually stays in place well for hands-free/minimal-hands use.
  • Like most Lovense toys, the app adds a tonne of new options and levels of functionality. You can control the two motors independently, add or create new patterns, or sync your toy to music. You can also hand over control remotely (either to a partner or anonymously via a link – a lot of cam performers like Lovense toys for this reason.)
  • The app connectivity and responsiveness is excellent. I delved into the details of the Lovense app in more detail in some of my previous Lovense reviews, so check those out so I don’t just repeat myself!
  • It’s not too loud. I wouldn’t use it out in public unless you were in a space with a lot of noise, like a nightclub, but for general use its noise is pretty unobtrusive.

Lovense Dolce Review: The Bad

Close up of Lovense Dolce buttons

There were also a few things about the Dolce that I didn’t enjoy so much. Namely:

  • The goddamn neon pink colour again. It’s so so so bright. It practically hurts my eyes to look at it! I wouldn’t mind so much if the toys were available in literally any other colour, but the fact that so many of Lovense’s vulva toys are only available in bright neon pink has weird gendered connotations that I do not like.
  • The controls on the toy itself are kind of confusing. The “up” button is also the on/off button, and once you get up to the 7th setting it does not cycle back around to the first if you tap the up button again.
  • The options are pretty limited without using the app. In particular, you can’t control the two motors independently using the manual controls.
  • Though you can control the two motors separately through the app, the toy transmits a lot of vibrations throughout. This means you’re always going to feel at least some vibes in both ends even when only one motor is switched on. Honestly, there were times when I wasn’t even 100% sure which of the two motors I had running.
  • It’s heavy enough that I wouldn’t feel confident standing or walking around with it in for very long. The weight also makes it challenging to wear for more than a few minutes at a time.

Verdict

If you’re looking for a seriously powerful dual stimulation wearable vibe, look no further. I would recommend the Dolce to anyone who enjoys strong internal and external vibrations together, as long as you are able to comfortably wear a moderately heavy insertable.

With that said, the Dolce is pretty expensive. I can only really recommend it if the app features, long distance functionalities, or hands-free options are important to you. If not, you can get toys that will do much the same thing for a fraction of the price. Overall, though, an excellent product.

The Dolce retails for £210 but is currently on sale for £109 in the Lovense Pride month sale!

Thanks to the company for supporting this Lovense Dolce review by sending me the product free of charge. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as always, are mine.

[Toy Review] Lovense Flexer

I’m really enjoying creating this Lovense review series. Lovense have been a giant in the world of app controlled sex toys since creating the very first ones – the Max and Nora – in 2013, and their toys are consistently amongst the best reviewed in the industry. This week, it’s time for a Lovense Flexer review. (I’ve also got a Dolce review coming up soon, so look out for that.)

What is the Lovense Flexer?

Product image of pink dual stimulation panty vibrator for Lovense Flexer review

The Lovense Flexer is an dual stimulation app-controlled wearable, hands-free vibrator, also called a “panty vibrator.” It is designed to mimic a fingering sensation (does it succeed? Go to the next section to find out!) The insertable portion measures 4″ in length and 1.4″ in diameter at the widest point, and the clitoral arm measures just under 2″ in length.

It has two vibrating motors, one for the clit and one for the G-spot, as well as a third motor controlling a “come hither” motion. The internal part moves gently back and forth against the G-spot, while the external part does the same against the clit. If you’re struggling to envision what I mean, check out the little video on the product page.

The Lovense Flexer is made of body-safe silicone. It is IPX7 waterproof (submersible for up to 30 minutes) and USB rechargeable. It also comes with a drawstring storage bag.

Lovense Flexer Review: What I Liked

I approach insertable toys, particularly those that claim to be hands-free, with a healthy degree of scepticism and low expectations. They often just don’t work particularly well for my body. However, the Flexer was a pleasant surprise which blew my expectations out of the water in many ways.

Product image of pink dual stimulation panty vibrator for Lovense Flexer review

The many things I liked about it include:

  • It actually moves when it’s inside me! I have tried some toys that claim to have come-hither motions but, once inserted, basically don’t move. This is not that.
  • For me, the level of intensity from the come-hither motion is just about perfect. It’s fairly gentle – it certainly doesn’t feel like someone pounding me with their fingers as hard as they can! – but still enough to be felt. Yes, excellent, top marks.
  • It actually works hands-free! Anyone who has seen me talk about “hands-free” toys before knows what a feat this is. But yes, I can use this toy with minimal to no use of my hands. This presents a bunch of fun possibilities for potential ways to use it. [1]
  • It fits my body well. Dual stimulation toys in a fixed shape are always a bit of a gamble because all our bodies are built differently, but this one can sit comfortably inside me and make reliable contact with my clit.
  • Speaking of which, a wearable vibrator that actually offers good clitoral stimulation! Wow! This shouldn’t be a novel concept, given that the overwhelming majority of people with vulvas require clit stimulation to orgasm, but somehow it still is.
  • When the toy is inside me, the external arm sort of moves back and forth against my clit. Which feels, if I may be blunt, fucking incredible.
  • Some reviewers have expressed a wish that this toy was softer, but I actually enjoy the firmness in this case.
  • You can control the vibrations and the come hither motion separately. So if you’re in the mood for one and not the other, no problem.
  • The charging-time-to-battery-life ratio is pretty good. A one-hour charge will give 1.5-2 hours of use, depending on settings.

[1] Pro tip: if you struggle with using this toy hands-free, try a few different positions. It works particularly well for me in a face-down position, but your mileage may vary. It also works really well in a sitting position. Potentially one for the erotica writers who get turned on while they work!

What I Didn’t Like

Product image of pink dual stimulation panty vibrator for Lovense Flexer review

Despite an overall very positive experience with the Flexer – honestly, far more positive than I was expecting – it does have some problems and downsides.

  • The silicone is very matte, to the point of being quite uncomfortable to insert and wear if it’s not adequately lubed. Unfortunately, too much lube means it is likely to fall out! There’s a fine balancing act with this one, and getting the lube quantity slightly wrong really hampers the experience.
  • It also tends to fall out if I stand up and walk around while wearing it.
  • There doesn’t seem to be any way to control the two vibrating motors separately, even in the app. This can be a problem if, like me, you enjoy external vibrations much more than internal ones.
  • The interface on the toy itself (i.e. without the app) is really minimal, just one button with 7 preset options (3 speeds and 7 patterns.)
  • I hate the colour. I’m not against pink in general but this is like… eye-hurtingly neon pink.
  • The noise. I am yet to find a come-hither toy that DOESN’T do this, to be fair, but it squeaks in a way that is really, really distracting and kind of a sensory nightmare. It’s also fairly loud and distinctive so honestly, I wouldn’t recommend using this one out and about unless you’re in a place with a LOT of background noise (like a nightclub.)

How is the App Functionality?

I’ve had a mixed experience with Lovense toys in that some really need the app to get the most out of the product, while others function fine without it. The Flexer is definitely in the former camp.

The Lovense app offers both long-distance and close-range control for the Flexer. The close range function works over 20-30 feet (depending upon obstacles and signal, presumably) and the long distance function can operate from anywhere in the world with Bluetooth and an internet connection.

I feel like I’m repeating myself a lot with the Lovense app as it’s broadly much the same over all toys in the range, so suffice to say that the connectivity is quick, the connection is stable, the responsiveness is excellent, and there are tonnes of options – from syncing your toy with music to connecting with various adult camming platforms. There’s also interactive content, games, and the ability to send someone an anonymous “control link” for a set period of time.

The app is also what enables you to control the vibrations and the come hither motions separately, and to hand over control to your partner if you want to. (They will also need the app and a decent Bluetooth connection.)

Unlike many toy companies, Lovense allows you to add more than one partner in its app without removing anyone. This is a small thing, but it really does make a difference to those of us who are non-monogamous.

Honestly, I mostly use the app in its most basic way – controlling the motors while masturbating with the toy solo. But it does the job, and it does it well.

Lovense Flexer Review: Verdict

I would not recommend buying this toy unless you are comfortable with using the app pretty much whenever you use the toy. Without it, the functionality just isn’t there to justify the price tag. I also wouldn’t recommend this one if you’re looking for a toy for discreet public play. Both the volume and the type of noise this toy produces make it likely it will be audible, and involving people in your play without their consent isn’t okay.

The sensation this toy offers, though, is fantastic. It’s also not exactly like any other product I’ve tried.

The Lovense Flexer retails for £159 but is currently on sale for Pride month at just £89.

Thanks to Lovense for sending me this product to review. This Lovense Flexer review contains affiliate links and buying through them sends me a small commission at no extra cost to you.

[Toy Review] We-Vibe Sync O

Wearable vibrators are eternally popular, and every time I think I’ve seen every possible iteration on this theme something new comes along. With the promise of a toy you can use hands-free, a toy that can provide clitoral stimulation (which most people with vulvas need to orgasm) during penetrative sex, or a toy you can use in places where it would normally not be okay to use a sex toy, the allure of these types of products is obvious.

This time it’s the Sync O from the original wearable toy pioneers, We-Vibe. But how did it perform?

We-Vibe Sync O: Details

We-Vibe Sync O with its remote control

The We-Vibe Sync O is a remote-controlled and app-controlled vibrator designed primarily to be worn during penetrative sex to provide extra clitoral stimulation. It is a U-shaped toy with a bendable hinge, allowing you to position it in the way that works for your body.

There’s a loop-shaped internal arm designed to hold it in place securely inside your body, and an external portion that rests against the vulva and clit. Design-wise, the We-Vibe Sync O is clearly a successor to other popular We-Vibe products such as the Sync and Chorus.

The insertable portion measures 3″ in length, and the clitoral arm measures about 4″.

The Sync O is made of body-safe silicone and available in two colours: green or purple. It is fully waterproof and submersible for use in the bath or shower, and USB rechargeable. You’ll get up to 150 minutes runtime from a full charge depending on which settings you’re using. You also get a little storage bag, but for some reason this isn’t really big enough to fit the toy, the remote, and the charging cable so it’s a bit pointless.

Let’s have a look at the pros and cons of the We-Vibe Sync O.

We-Vibe Sync O In Use: What I Liked

We-Vibe Sync O

  • The Sync O’s vibrations are reasonably strong and rumbly
  • The hinged design makes it easy to position the vibrator comfortably
  • The remote control’s responsiveness is excellent and somewhat makes up for the annoying one-button interface (see below)
  • The product page says that the We-Vibe Sync O’s internal arm is designed to keep the toy securely in place. This is likely because the flexible silicone loop pushes outwards against the vaginal walls when you’re wearing it. I did find that it was less likely to fall out than other wearable toys I’ve tried (though the trade-off was some considerable discomfort – see below.)
  • The texturing on the underside of the clitoral arm adds an extra bit of friction and additional stimulation
  • The silicone is soft, smooth, and easy to clean
  • The Sync O is pretty quiet in use

We-Vibe Sync O In Use: What I Didn’t Like

We-Vibe Sync O

  • Companies always sell these toys as “hands free” but in my experience they rarely actually are. As with the Chorus, I found I needed to use my hand to hold the We-Vibe Sync O in place during use. Otherwise, it just slipped out of position and away from my clit, leading to an experience far more frustrating than pleasurable.
  • The single button interface on the toy itself limits your options if you don’t want to use the remote or the app.
  • I found the insertable loop really uncomfortable, bordering on painful, to wear. The sensation of having my vaginal walls pushed outwards was a bit like having a speculum inserted at the gyno (in other words, the least sexy thing imaginable.) Getting a penis or dildo inside me alongside it? No chance. This is a pretty major issue considering it’s the main selling point of the toy and renders it virtually unusable for me.

The We-Vibe App

The We-Vibe app is free to download on Android or iOS. Connecting your toy via Bluetooth is easy, with clear instructions, and takes less than 30 seconds. From there, you can select “Play” and make use of all the app’s functionalities including:

  • Single Vibe, which allows you to adjust the toy’s speed on a constant vibration setting
  • Multi vibe, which allows you to use up to four different settings and switch between them quickly
  • Touch mode, which was annoyingly useless (it’s supposed to change the vibrations based on your finger movements on the screen, but actually did the same lacklustre juddering vibration no matter where and how I pressed)
  • Beat, which syncs your toy to music.
  • Playlist, in which you can create your own personalised collection of settings in a specified order
  • Ambient, in which the toy responds and vibes along to ambient noise around you (this could be useful if you’re in a loud environment such as a club and enjoy discreetly playing in public)

The app’s responsiveness is generally good, and I found connectivity to be reliable. In practice I don’t really use apps to control toys that much – somehow, pulling out my phone mid-sex feels like it ruins the moment! The app offers some intriguing possibilities, but I don’t see myself actually using it very often.

I did not have the opportunity to test the app’s long-distance functionality as I no longer have a long-distance partner to try it with. However, I will say that my experience with the We-Vibe app’s distance features have been… a mix. With the Chorus, it worked beautifully. With the Rave 2, it didn’t work at all. I suspect this is due to app version upgrades rather than specific toys, though, as it’s the same basic tech in all of them.

Verdict

Though I was impressed by the We-Vibe Sync O’s motor and bendable design, it’s let down hugely by the fact that I can’t actually wear it for any significant period of time as the insertable part just causes me pain. Of course, all bodies are different. You might not have any issue with wearing this toy at all – and the many rave reviews indicate that it works well for a lot of people!

This is really a “know your body” situation. If your vagina is more accommodating than mine and you’re looking for a wearable toy (whether for penetrative sex, low-effort masturbation, or discreet play outside the house), it could be a great choice for you.

You can buy the We-Vibe Sync O from Lovehoney for £159.99 (UK) and $169 (US.) Don’t forget to enter my Lovehoney discount code “AFF-COFFKINK10” for 10% off your entire purchase at checkout.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review. All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Toy Review] Arosum Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On & Kegelator Kegel Exerciser

Arosum, who both sponsored this double review and recently came on board as a site sponsor, is a rare beast in this industry: a sex toy retailer that does not use gendered language in its marketing. You won’t find Arosum toys grouped into limiting and cissexist categories such as “for women” and “for men.” Instead, toys are categorised by type and body part.

This is such an easy change to make if you want to make your sex toy marketing more inclusive, and yet so many retailers fail.

Arosum kindly send me the Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On and the Kegelator Vibrating Kegel Balls to review.

Arosum Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On

Arosum Vibratwin strapless strap-on vibrator

Strapless strap-ons are a divisive topic in the sex toy space. Some love them and others hate them. I’ve always been quite indifferent. I had a mediocre experience with one in my twenties, and haven’t really bothered again since. So I was curious to see how I’d get on with the Arosum Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On.

Fun fact, as I discovered when doing Google keyword research for this post: Vibratwin is also the name of a dual-action floor cleaning machine!

Vibratwin strapless strap-on details

The Vibratwin is a classic strapless strap-on vibrator, with one arm to go inside the wearer and then a protruding arm for them to fuck their partner with. The main shaft measures 5.35″ in length and 1.57″ in diameter at the widest point, and the shaft for the wearer measures 5.51″ in insertable length (but is very curved) and 1.26″ in diameter at the widest point.

The Vibratwin is made of body-safe silicone in a pretty shade of green. In the box you’ll also find a remote control and a storage bag (though, weirdly, the bag isn’t really big enough for the toy unless you squish it in at a weird angle!)

The Vibratwin is IPX7 waterproof and rechargeable. The battery life – around 45 minutes on a full charge – isn’t great, but is anyone really doing penetrative sex for longer than 45 minutes at a time anyway?

In use: what I liked

Arosum Vibratwin strapless strap-on vibrator

I really like the curved shape of the wearer’s shaft on the Vibratwin, for two reasons:

  1. It helps the toy to actually stay inside me
  2. It presses very pleasurably against my G-spot

Other things I like about this toy:

  • The “come hither” motion of the main shaft. It feels great and it means that, if you want to have strap-on sex without a lot of thrusting, you can just slide the shaft inside your partner and let the toy do the hard work. There are 3 different speeds.
  • The versatility. You can control the come-hither motion and the vibrations separately. Or, if you’re not in the mood for either, just leave them switched off.
  • It takes much less set-up than my regular strap-on, which I love but which always requires several minutes of futzing with straps and rings before it’s ready to go.
  • The remote control is a really nice addition, making it easy to control the toy in use with a partner. It’s fast and responsive.
  • There’s no reason you can’t also use it as a solo toy, if you want.
  • The silicone is really soft and smooth.

Anything I don’t like?

  • The inevitable squeaky whine that accompanies the “come hither” motion. This isn’t really Arosum’s fault, it’s probably almost impossible to make a toy that does this motion without it, but I still hate it.
  • The ridges on the main shaft. These will work really well for some people but for me, that level of texturing is more likely to be painful than pleasurable. As such, I think I’d prefer to use this toy when I’m Topping (assuming my partner enjoys that texture) rather than bottoming.
  • The vibrations are quite weak and buzzy. I don’t really like internal vibrations anyway, though, so I’ll just keep them turned off when using this toy in the future.

Verdict

Surprisingly great! I really like this one and will definitely use it again.

The Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On retails for $99.

Arosum Kegelator Vibrating Kegel Balls

Arosum Kegelator vibrating kegel exerciser

I’ve written about kegel balls (AKA pleasure balls) and their purported benefits before. Some proponents claim that they can strengthen the pelvic floor, reduce incontinence, or enhance (or make it easier to have) G-spot orgasms. The actual evidence, though, doesn’t really stack up. The data supporting the bladder control claims is minimal and contradictory, and I could find no evidence (beyond the anecdotal) to support the orgasm claims.

Kegel exercises themselves are good for you, helping to prevent incontinence and other pelvic floor problems. It’s a good idea to do them regularly. But do kegel balls or other exercisers really help? The jury is out on that one.

Due to the lack of evidence to support any health claims, I choose to look at kegel balls and kegel exercises purely as sex toys.

With that in mind, how does the Kegelator stack up as a sex toy?

The Kegelator measures 8.27″ end to end, of which 4.33″ is insertable and the rest is the tail. The insertable portion is 1.54″ wide at the widest point, and 0.79″ at the narrowest point. It’s made of body-safe silicone in a dusky pink shade and is the classic “two connected balls with a long tail” shape.

As well as vibrating, the top part of the Kegelator moves in a “come hither” motion to stimulate the G-spot.

What I liked about the Kegelator

Arosum Kegelator vibrating kegel exerciser

  • The main thing I like about this toy is its shape. The size and slight curve of the head is ideal for seeking out my G-spot and targeting it with precision.
  • The remote is fast, responsive, and allows you to move between the 10 patterns and settings in either direction.
  • It’s comfortable enough to wear for quite a while, if you want to.
  • The silicone is silky soft.

Anything I didn’t like?

  • That whining noise again!
  • The fact that you can’t control the vibrations and come hither motion separately. I don’t like internal vibrations and would really like to turn them off while still using the other function!
  • 60 minutes battery life isn’t great, especially for something you might theoretically want to wear for longer periods.
  • The vibrations are weak and buzzy.

Verdict

Unlike the Vibratwin, I think the Kegelator is just okay. It’s really let down by the lack of dual controls, and the buzzy vibrations will be a downside for anyone looking for powerful internal vibes.

The Kegelator Kegel Exerciser retails for $79.

Thanks to Arosum for sponsoring this review. Sponsors help to keep the site going! All views, as always, are mine.

[Toy Review] Monster Pub Dr Whale 2

You’ve heard of rabbit vibrators. You’ve probably heard of Satisfyer’s famous Penguin clitoral suction toy. But have you ever seen a whale vibrator before? Well, now you have! Specifically, the Dr Whale vibrator, which I recently received to test and review.

Monster Pub Dr Whale 2: Basics

The Dr Whale 2 is a curved vibrator shaped like a little whale. It measures 7 inches in total when stretched out flat (4 inches insertable) and 1.3 inches in diameter at the widest point. It houses two motors, one in the whale’s “body” and one in its tail.

Monster Pub Dr Whale 2

The Dr Whale 2 is coated in soft and body-safe silicone in a pretty shade of pale blue. It is rechargeable via the included USB cable and you get 120 minutes use out of a full charge. You also get a storage bag for the toy.

Confusingly, the website says the toy is waterproof but the included instruction booklet says NOT to submerge it in water. I’m going to assume that means it’s splashproof only, though I’m not entirely sure. I didn’t want to risk breaking it by submerging it. For a toy of this price point, though, I feel like “waterproof” should come as standard.

Monster Pub Dr Whale 2

The Dr Whale 2 features an internal heating element that warms up to a comfortable 42C within a couple minutes of being switched on. Most intriguing of all, it is controllable via the Monster Pub app (available free on iOS and Android).

App-Controlled Kegel Exerciser

One of the advertised purposes of the Dr Whale 2 is as a kegel exerciser. Performing kegel exercises regularly can help strengthen your pelvic floor, which some evidence shows has a variety of benefits from better bladder control to stronger orgasms. I delved into some of the science on kegel exercises a long time ago on this blog, and anecdotal evidence seems to suggest that while using internal exercisers like the Dr Whale 2 doesn’t necessarily make the kegel exercises more effective, using one might make you more likely to perform them regularly.

I downloaded the app and the toy connected easily. The connection is good, reliable and steady as long as you have a stable internet connection.

You have to set up an account on the app, which takes a few seconds. It also asks you to select your gender, but only offers “girl” and “boy” (which is weirdly infantilising as well as annoyingly binary.)

The app then asked me to complete a “Q&A For Girls” which consists of a few questions about whether you’re using the app alone or with a lover and whether you want to share it with a partner. It also, however, includes THIS:

I strongly suspect this is just some really, really bad Google Translate but the last thing I want to see in a sex toy app is talk of being “molested”. Gross. It also gives me pause about the app’s security and safety. Is it likely that someone is going to randomly take control of my toy? Because that’s, erm, deeply concerning if so.

Once you’re in, you can choose from a range of pre-set patterns and those created by other users. You can also create your own using the “Gesture” mode, connect with a partner via chat tools such as WeChat or WhatsApp, or make the vibes respond to movement with the “Action/Reaction” mode.

If you go into the “Health” tab at the top of the screen, you’ll find the various kegel exercise section. In this mode, a voice talks you through a range of exercises. The sessions are pretty short, stating at just 3 minutes, so they’re quite accessible. If you need a little extra encouragement to do kegel exercises regularly, you might enjoy being gently talked through it by the narrator’s soothing voice. I certainly find it helps me to actually bother doing my exercises!

The app responsiveness is good. It’s also fairly intuitive to use, with just a few basic controls to get your head around.

What About as a Sex Toy?

I like the shape and flexibility of the Dr Whale 2. I also really like the gently ridged texture of the silicone on one side of the whale’s body. Its flexy tail means it will work for a variety of bodies and comfortable positioning is easy. The downside of the flexible tail is that, when you’ve inserted the toy, it’s difficult to get a satisfying amount of clitoral pressure.

Monster Pub Dr Whale 2

I’m not really a fan of internal vibrations, though, so I soon turned to using it solely as a clitoral toy.

Unfortunately, the Dr Whale 2 really falls down for me on power. It’s not the worst by any stretch, and I’ve certainly used more expensive toys that were packing less of a punch than this one. But ultimately the vibrations are of mediocre strength and very buzzy. This toy is highly unlikely to ever get me off.

Verdict

A mixed bag here.

I do think the Dr Whale 2 is a good kegel exerciser. The guided sessions on the app are a nice touch and the vibrations add more pleasure to the whole process. As a sex toy, though, I’m unlikely to ever use it again. It’s just too buzzy and not really powerful enough to be satisfying.

The Monster Pub Dr Whale 2 retails for $119.00 at time of writing.

This review was sponsored, meaning the company paid me to write an honest review. All views and experiences are my own.

[Toy Review] Lovense Ferri

I’ve had mixed experiences with Lovense. I finally got my hands on the Lush, which half the sex-positive internet seems to be obsessed with, and I didn’t get what the fuss was about. Then I tried the Domi and fell in love. So what of the Lovense Ferri, which arrived in my #MasturbationMay shipment from Lovehoney?

Lovense Ferri: Small But Mighty

The first thing that struck me about the Lovense Ferri is just how small it is. It is a miniature knicker vibrator (design to be worn inside your underwear) measuring just 3 inches in length.

Lovense Ferri knicker vibrator

The Ferri comes equipped with a magnetic clip which holds it in place and means you can use it with pretty much any pair of knickers you choose. Its curved shape sits comfortably against your body, and the underside is gently ridged for enhanced clitoral stimulation.

Pro tip: I discovered that the Ferri is also great for sitting on. Like, say, while writing erotica in your desk chair?

Lovense Ferri vibrating knickers vibe.
Palm of my hand for scale!

The Ferri is waterproof, USB rechargeable, and offers 180 minutes of run time for a two hour charge. It is Bluetooth compatible and can be app controlled, which we’ll get more into in a minute.

Best of all, the Ferri is powerful as hell. The first time I tried it, it got me off in less than five minutes. There’s a lot of motor packed into a small space and I am very, very here for it.

Can You Actually Use It in Public?

I’m gonna go with… maybe.

Lovense Ferri vibrating panties toy

The Lovense Ferri is reasonably quiet for its level of power, but I certainly wouldn’t describe it as silent (or “whisper quiet,” ughhhh.) You could probably get away wih it in a loud or crowded area, but I wouldn’t risk it in a quieter space.

To App or Not to App?

You really do need the app to get the full functionality from the Lovense Ferri. The toy itself features a single-button interface, three pre-programmed speeds, and four patterns. Which is fine, but pretty limited for such an expensive toy. You also can’t really use it for its intended “wearable” purpose without the app, as it doesn’t come with a remote control.

Lovense’s app is genuinely excellent. It’s honestly at least twice as good as any other sex toy app I’ve tested. However, it’s a bit of a privacy issue because it insists on having access to various parts of your phone, so do with that information what you will.

The Lovense Remote app is free to download and compatible with iOS (9.0 and later,) and Android (4.3 and later). You can also get Mac and PC versions, if you prefer.

Screenshot of the Lovense app
Pictured: app homepage

Download the app, set up a free account, switch on your toy, and ensure your Bluetooth is connected. Then click the link symbol in the top right corner. My Lovense Ferri connected in a second and maintained a steady connection throughout use.

App Functions

Here are just a few of the fun things you can do with the Lovense Ferri and the Lovense Connect app:

  • Use the “Remote” control panel to change the vibration speed or use the “loop” button to create a repeating pattern.
  • Find pre-installed vibration patterns and your previously saved settings in “My Patterns.”
  • Schedule the toy to start vibrating at a specific time with the “Alarm” function. Fun if you want to wear it to sleep and then get vibed awake, maybe?
  • Make your toy respond to nearby sounds such as music and voices with the “Sound” setting. You could even watch porn and sync the toy with the sounds, if you want!
  • Vibe along to music stored on your device (or linked through a service like Spotify) with the “Music” function.
Lovense app screenshot
Pictured: “Sound” function

You can also connect any Lovense toy with cam sites like Chaturbate, MyFreeCams, and Manyvids. If you’re a performer, this can be a fun way to interact with your fans. You can even programme your toy to respond to tips!

I haven’t tried this myself as I’m not a cam model, but reviews are generally very favourable!

Long Distance

Whether you’re in a long distance relationship or currently separated by the pandemic, you can use the “Long Distance” app function to give your partner control of your vibe.

There are two ways to do this. Your partner can download the app, create an account, and give you their username to connect. Alternatively, you can create a “control link” which can last from a few seconds up to an hour, and is single-use only.

Again, connectivity is strong and reliable and the toy is super responsive. Just make sure your internet connection is stable!

Verdict

Yes and yes and yes again! I can’t believe that something so small could be so brilliant, but this is an absolute winner.

The Lovense Ferri retails for £149.99 ($139.99 US) and, as long as you’re happy using a smartphone app, it’s worth every penny.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review. All opinions mine. Affiliate links appear in this post. Don’t forget to use code AFF-COFFKINK10 at checkout to get 10% off everything at Lovehoney!

[Toy Review] Lovense Lush 2

Update 23/04/25: the Lovense Lush 2 has now been replaced by newer products, the Lush 3 and Lush 4. I have left this Lovense Lush 2 review up for reference but have yet to test the new products in the Lush range.

To say I was excited to finally get to write a Lovense Lush 2 review would be an understatement. Lovense toys have a reputation that precedes them, and I’ve never been able to get one for review before.

So let’s dive in and find out what I thought of the famed Lush 2, shall we?

Lovense Lush 2

The Lush 2 by Lovense is a rechargeable, app-controlled insertable vibrator. It is 8 inches long, of which about 3.5 inches are intertable. The rest is a long, flexible tail. The Lush 2 is made of body-safe silicone in an extremely bright shade of pink.

The Lush 2 is described as a “love egg” vibrator, but the main body isn’t really quite egg shaped. Instead it has a bulge on one side, which I guess is supposed to hit the G-spot. The body and tail shape kinda makes me think of a sperm! Here’s what it looks like:

The Lovense Lush 2 on a wooden floor

On my body, the main head of the toy really isn’t long enough or the right shape to hit my G-spot with any degree of precision. Given this and the that I’m not a big fan of internal vibrations, I was more inclined to use it as a clitoral vibrator.

This toy is fully waterproof, and rechargeable via a USB cable (you get around 2.5 hours of use for a 2 hour charge).

Lovense Lush 2 Review: App Functionality

Perhaps the biggest appeal of Lovense’s toys is their superior app functionality. After testing my Lush 2 with the Lovense app, I can confirm that it’s by far the best sex toy remote control app I’ve ever used.

This is absolutely a toy that was designed with app-first usage in mind. Without the app, the interface is a single button (located on the end of the tail) that you use to scroll one way through the three constant vibration speeds and four inbuilt patterns.

The Lovense Remote app is free to download and compatible with iOS 9.0 and later, and Android 4.3 and later. There’s also a Mac version, and a Windows PC version (though you need a special Lovense USB Bluetooth Adaptor for the latter).

You’ll need to set up a free account to use the app, which takes a couple of minutes. Then you switch on your Bluetooth and click the link symbol in the top right corner to connect your toy. Unlike other app-based toys I’ve used, my Lush 2 connected in a couple of seconds. The connection is steady and reliable.

The Lovense Connect app

Once you’ve connected your toy to the app, you have a number of different options. You can use the “Remote” control panel to change the vibration speed with the swipe of a finger, or create your own repeating pattern using the “loop” feature. In “My Patterns,” you can find the pre-installed vibration patterns and also create and save your own.

The other cool app options include:

  • “Alarm”, wherein you can schedule the toy to start vibrating at a specific time. (Yes I tested it, and yes it works). I mean, the idea of waking up with this thing buzzing away inside me is not my idea of fun, but some people might enjoy it!
  • “Sound” makes the toy sound-responsive. You can talk at it, play music, or even just tap gently on something nearby and the Lush 2 will vibrate in time with it. It’s EXTREMELY responsive – at the top sensitivity setting, it was picking up traffic noise from the end of my street and responding to that. So you might want to turn the sensitivity level down a bit. This function has some particularly interesting D/s potential. I have to admit the idea of a Dom making my vibe react with just their voice is hot as fuck. You could even watch porn and sync the toy with the performers’ sounds!
  • “Music”, which allows you to sync the vibrations along with music. You can use music files uploaded to your device, or link your app with streaming services like Spotify.
The Lovense Connect app

Lush 2: Long Distance Functionality

You can hand over control of your Lovense Lush 2 to your partner using the “Long Distance” tab. For privacy reasons, you can’t search by email address, so your partner will need to set up an account so you can add one another by username.

Again, the connectivity is quick and simple, and remains steady as long as you both have Bluetooth and a stable internet connection.

You can also create a limited-time “control link”, allowing you to hand over control for a specified amount of time from a few seconds up to 60 minutes. Every link is unique, for one-time use only, and expires if not used within 30 minutes. You can end the session any time by simply pressing “back” on the app.

The Lovense Connect app

Lovense provides a useful how-to guide to help you set up.

Cam Site Connection

The Lovense Lush 2 boasts the ability to connect with cam sites, which I haven’t seen from any other sex toy companies. Cam models and performers can sync any Lush toy with numerous cam sites including Chaturbate, Manyvids, MyFreeCams, and more. You can then create tip-based responses, allowing your fans to “control” your vibe by tipping you.

Of course, it’s also possible to hand over control to your high tippers using the control link function mentioned above.

As I’m not a cam performer, I have not tested this functionality myself. However, I have seen clips of performers using it, and read reviews that are generally very positive about it.

Power

Sadly, what the Lovense Lush 2 has in app functionality and innovation, it lacks in power. As soon as I switched it on in my hand, I was unimpressed. I hoped it might feel better once I was warmed up and using it on my vulva, but alas I remained underwhelmed.

The Lovense Lush 2 on a white bedsheet

The Lovense Lush 2’s vibrations aren’t exactly terrible, but they’re just… not good. They’re fairly buzzy and, even on the highest setting, nowhere near powerful enough to justify this toy’s price tag.

I’m sad to report that this toy didn’t get me off. After multiple attempts, I had to reach for a trusty wand to finish the job.

Lovense Lush 2 Review: Final Thoughts

I can only recommend this toy if you’re after app functionality or long-distance capability and if you don’t need very powerful vibrations. The Lovense Lush 2’s app is great, and the tip connectivity option for adult performers is genuinely cool and unique.

Unfortunately, its power level really lets the Lovense Lush 2 down. For a toy at this price point, a nifty app isn’t enough. I expect it to actually be powerful to get me off. Which, frankly, is a low bar for a supposedly high-end toy to meet.

Without the cool app features, all you have is an overpriced vibrator with a mediocre motor.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Lovense Lush 2 to review! All opinions are, as always, my own. Buying through my affiliate links sends a small commission my way at no extra cost to you.

[Toy Review] Lovehoney “Flexy Beast” Flexible Vibrator

Update 23/04/25: the “Flexy Beast” flexible vibrator is no longer available. Probably for the best. I usually remove reviews of obsolete products, but this one is staying because it amuses me and maybe it will give you a laugh, too.

Sometimes a sex toy makes me laugh and groan (with exasperation, not pleasure) at the same time. Sometimes I just take one look at a thing and immediately know it’s not going to do what it was designed for. The “Flexy Beast” flexible vibrator from Lovehoney is one such product.

Flexy Beast Flexible Vibrator: The Pun Game is Strong

It’s a flexible vibrator called the Flexy Beast. How could I resist!? Not only that, but the caption on the box reads “Bends With Benefits.” Well played, Lovehoney. Well. Played.

Anyway, let’s take a closer look, shall we?

The Lovehoney Flexy Beast wearable couples vibrator

The Flexy Beast is a small triangular vibrator with two long and hyper-flexible (they weren’t kidding about that) arms. It’s fully waterproof, and USB rechargeable via the included cable. It is 6.5 inches in total length, of which 3.5 are supposedly insertable (an assertion I question, as we’ll see momentarily.)

The Flexy Beast is coated in silicone and the tip is ABS plastic, making it body-safe. Because the plastic tip comes off to reveal the charging port, it has a significant seam that could harbour bacteria. Take extra care when cleaning your toy.

The Flexy Beast flexible vibrator has 3 levels of constant power and 7 patterns. It operates on a single button interface. I can forgive the one-button issue with cheaper toys, but on a product that retails for £70 I really expect to see at the very least +/- buttons, and ideally a remote control.

Lovehoney Flexible Vibrator: First Impressions

I have to admit that my first reaction to this thing was that I wanted to stick googly eyes on it and turn it into a desk mascot.

The Lovehoney Flexy Beast wearable couples vibrator with cartoon eyes

My second reaction was “huh, the level of power is actually respectable.” Considering how small it is, the Flexy Beast flexible vibrator offers passably good vibrations. They’re a little buzzy, though, whereas I prefer deep rumbles (and so, it seems, do 56% of my followers on Twitter based on my completely scientific study.)

But That’s When It All Went Sideways…

There are 5 helpful suggestions provided on the Lovehoney site for how to use the Flexy Beast flexible vibrator. Of the two that do not require a factory-installed penis, I was… I think “baffled” is a fair word to use?

Diagram of suggested ways to use the Lovehoney Flexy Beast vibrator

I mean, what the fuck is going on here?

The first one seems to imply I should shove the whole thing in my vagina and it will just kinda hang out around the entrance with the arms holding it in place somehow. The second one seems to be suggesting I stick the tip inside me and stick the arms on my labia majora, which… why? Half an inch inside the vagina and the outer labia 2 inches from the clit are not the areas that typically produce the most pleasure for vulva owners.

Let me reiterate: neither of these suggestions for using this flexible vibrator make a single iota of sense when you try them on an actual vulva.

So I Got Creative…

Not one to give up easily, I tried a few other things. I tried twisting the arms together and inserting them to make a sort of anchor in my vagina while I used the bullet part on my clit. This just ended up with it poking me painfully in the vaginal walls (and it fell out in three seconds.)

I tried to essentially attach it to my labia by twisting the arms in such a way as to use them as clamps. It slipped straight off.

The Lovehoney Flexy Beast wearable couples vibrator

Finally, I tried inserting the main body into my vagina and then bending the arms around to reach my clit. This sort of worked for about five seconds, but if you push the toy far enough inside that it actually stays put, the arms don’t reach the clit. (Plus the body isn’t anywhere near long enough, nor the right shape, to hit the G-spot.)

Sure, you could technically bend the arms into a circle shape and use it as a cock-ring, but why would you want to? You won’t get the effect of restricting blood flow from the penis (the actual purpose of a cock ring) and any sort of thrusting will stop it from providing meaningful clitoral stimulation.

Someone on the Lovehoney reviews under the product claims to have used it vaginally, anally, and clitorally all at the same time (main body on the clit, one arm in each hole.) After extensive testing, I am calling this out as not only something that is highly unlikely to feel good to the overwhelming majority of people, but as something that is physiologically fucking impossible unless you have the shortest vagina-to-butt distance of all time.

….Sentences I never expected to write.

Flexy Beast Flexible Vibrator: Final Verdict

All gimmick, no substance.

Seriously, what the fuck is this thing?

Even though the vibrations are actually okay considering the small size, I was far too annoyed by it and all the ways it was supposed to work and didn’t. I ended my testing session completely turned off. The Flexy Beast probably could have got me off from the vibrations alone, but all I wanted to do was throw it across the room and get my Doxy out.

I’m chalking this one up to a neat idea in theory that wasn’t tested on enough actual human genitals before being released. It also retails for a hugely overpriced £69.99 ($89.99 US) which is more expensive than several far better toys.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product in exchange for an honest review. All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear within this post.