[Toy Review] FirmTech Tech Ring

When you’re a sex writer, you occasionally send texts to your friends what would be objectively weird in any other context. I recently sent one to my dear friend SilverDom (who has kindly helped me with reviews before) that amounted to “hey, do you want to test a dick Fitbit for me?” Obviously he said yes, because who could resist such an offer? So with SD’s help, I’m pleased to be bringing you a review of the FirmTech “Tech Ring.”

What is a Tech Ring?

FirmTech’s Tech Ring was developed by Elliot Justin, MD, FACEP, an Emergency Medicine specialist, telemedicine expert and sex toy enthusiast. The Tech Ring is a cock ring with a difference: this high-tech device features various sensors which gather information about the wearer’s penis health. It then connects with an app on your smartphone, allowing you to review and interpret this data.

FirmTech Tech Ring on its charging stand

FirmTech Tech Ring smart cock ring

So yes: it’s like a fitness tracker… but for your penis. I will never stop getting joy from calling it the “dick Fitbit.”

The Tech Ring has a penoscrotal design, meaning that it it wraps around both the testicles and shaft of the penis. It provides light pressure on the urethra (which some people say makes their orgasms more intense.) With an incredible 8-10 hour battery life and comfort-focused design, it’s suitable to wear for several hours or even overnight. And, of course, you can also wear it during sex.

I thought it would be easiest to show you how the Tech Ring is designed to be worn. To that end, I took a picture with the assistance of my Valm Triple Density Silicone Dildo:

FirmTech Tech Ring cock ring wrapped around a bright orange and pink silicone dildo

The Tech Ring comes packaged in an attractive circular box. It’s not unlike the sort of packaging you’d expect a fancy smartwatch or piece of tech to come in. Inside, you’ll find the Tech Ring, its USB charger, an extra sleeve, a travel pouch, and an instruction manual.

The Tech Ring is not waterproof (though it is splashproof) and it is compatible with all water-based lubes. You can take the sensor out of the sleeve to clean it, but it’s really fiddly to get it back in and there’s also the risk of ripping the material so I wouldn’t recommend doing this any more often than you really need to.

Why Would You Need So Much Information About Your Penis and Erections?

Please note that I am not a doctor or any kind of medical professional. I am sharing the facts as I understand them based on the available data, but please do not take anything in this review as any kind of medical advice. If you have concerns about any aspect of your health (sexual or otherwise) or are not sure whether a product like the Tech Ring is right for you, consult your doctor.

According to FirmTech: “number of nocturnal erections a man[1] has during REM sleep is predictive of vascular health.” They also state that “There is a very strong link between erectile dysfunction and heart disease. Several studies have shown that if a man[1] has ED, he has a greater risk of having heart disease.”

Did you know that? Because I didn’t.

You’ll also be able to learn how various factors, such as medications, alcohol, recreational drug use, and exercise play a role in your erectile health. This can help you to make more informed decisions about your health and lifestyle.

In other words, understanding your erectile and penile health is one way into a broader understanding of other aspects of your health. Pretty cool. This product is also endorsed by various medical doctors and urologists, so I feel pretty confident in saying that it’s not just a gimmick and the science stands up to scrutiny.

Of course, if sex is important to you – as it is to most of us! – the Tech Ring can also give you a bunch of interesting information about your sex life and sexual wellness.

[1] I don’t love the gendered language here. Apparently it’s been used so as not to turn off older men from the product. I have a general policy against gendered language which is why I’ve used “penis owner”/”person with a penis” throughout this review.

How Does It Function as a Cock Ring?

On their most basic level, cock rings do one thing: they help to keep blood inside the shaft of the penis, allowing the penis-owner to maintain a firmer erection for longer. They can also be very pleasurable to wear. Many different iterations, including vibrating cock-rings and even remote control ones, are now available.

But how does the Tech Ring stack up as a cock ring?

The exterior of the Tech Ring is made of medical-grade elastomer. It’s unclear whether this material is porous – the information I could find online was conflicting – but it is body-safe for external use.

When I first published this review, I said that I couldn’t see why the product wasn’t silicone. However, I’ve since spoken again to a member of the team and it turns out there’s a great reason for this!

Silicone is too tight and inelastic a material to be worn for hours. That’s why, when you see ordinary cock rings for sale, the advice is typically to wear them for no more than 30 minutes. Silicone can also choke off the arterial flow into the penis, meaning that silicone rings should be put on when already erect. Trials were conducted with silicone but elastomer was found to be both far safer and more comfortable for overnight wear.

FirmTech Tech Ring smart cock ring

The material feels flimsy and gathers lint and dust something awful, meaning that it starts to look dull and dirty again moments after washing it. It also has a slightly gummy texture that I don’t find particularly pleasant. Unfortunately, elastomer just isn’t as durable as some materials and there is already an area on the back of my Tech Ring where it’s starting to degrade and split.

The FirmTech tech ring’s material is very stretchy and gives a light but noticeable pressure when worn. If you have a girthier penis, though, the Tech Ring may be too small for you. The site says that it will comfortably fit anyone “except above 95% in girth.” SD reported finding it too tight to wear for a long period of time.

If you want your Tech Ring tighter for sexual pleasure purposes, though, you can just use the loop or a twist to tighten it. Never do this for overnight or long-term wear.

This product is not primarily designed for pleasure, and it shows. And that’s fine – I would never advocate spending close to $300 on a simple cock-ring! But if you’re primarily looking for something to increase pleasure during sex, this isn’t it.

How’s the App Functionality?

The FirmTech app is free to download for Apple or Android. First you’ll need to set up an account. When you do this, the app asks for data such as your height, weight, and date of birth as well as whether you have certain health conditions, drink alcohol, or use recreational drugs. You can choose to skip these questions if you’d prefer.

Warning: if you input your weight and height, a BMI chart will pop up and tell you whether you’re “underweight”, “healthy,” “overweight”, or “obese.” I hate this. Not only because it can be really triggering to people who suffer with body image struggles or disordered eating (hello!) but also because BMI is a massively flawed system.

You can then do something called the “Sexual Health Inventory for Men” which consists of a few short questions and helps you to assess your erectile fitness and identify whether you have any current or potential erectile dysfunction issues. Then, once you start using the Tech Ring, you’ll get access to information such as a “firmness score”, your average number of nocturnal erections, and your total number of erections per week.

Screenshot from the FirmTech app

(Screenshot shared without any actual data for privacy.)

Once you’ve set up your account, it’s time to connect the toy. This should only take seconds. Simply turn on the toy by pressing the power button once and then select “pair” in the app.

SD reported some issues with getting the app to connect to the device. He says: “Once charged, I was initially unable to get the device to pair with my phone. The blue light came on to indicate it was ready to pair, but no connection was ever estabished. In the end, I had to delete and reinstall the app and everything worked as it should”. When I tried it on my end, it worked the first time.

The app is fast and responsive, and becomes more and more useful the more you use it. I also found it fairly straightforward and intuitive to use once I’d taken a few minutes to learn what all the different functions did.

Using the FirmTech Tech Ring During Sex

One of the main selling points of the FirmTech Tech Ring is that you can wear it during sexual activity, including partnered sex and masturbation. Before you begin, simply set your ring to record a “session” and then masturbate or have sex as you normally would.

Screenshot from the FirmTech app

You can then use this data to make comparisons and use it to inform your health decisions. If you experience firm nocturnal erections but struggle to stay hard during sex, for example, that indicates that the problem is likely psychological. A declining number of nocturnal erections, decreased firmness or decreased duration can all indicate potential health problems. (They don’t necessarily, though – so it’s important not to panic and to ask your doctor if you have concerns.)

The Tech Ring is small and unobtrusive enough to not get in the way during sex. In fact, if you’re wearing it correctly and it fits you properly, you’ll likely barely even notice you’re wearing it.

Verdict

Retailing for $275, the Tech Ring is a pretty expensive piece of kit. If you’re just looking for a cock ring, skip it and get something much (much) cheaper.

I don’t really think the Tech Ring is a sex toy, to be honest. I’m just categorising it in that way for ease of publishing this review in the absence of a better option. It’s actually really more of a wellness device or a health tracker.

As a sex toy, I can’t wholeheartedly recommend it. But as a health tracker, I actually think it’s pretty damn cool! As with any technology like this, you’d have to use it very regularly to enjoy its full benefits. But if you’re suffering from any kind of ED issues, want to keep track of your erectile health, or are just curious, it can offer you a wealth of data.

I’d love to see the next iteration drop the gendered language on the website and marketing materials. Also: this is an admittedly small gripe, but the print on the provided instruction flyer is tiny. I have near perfect eyesight and I still had to squint to read it.

Thanks to FirmTech for sponsoring this review and to SilverDom for helping out with the testing! All views are, as always, my own.

[Toy Review] YoYoLemon Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator

Reviewing penis toys can be a challenge for me, not being in possession of a penis. My nesting partner, Mr C&K, is often willing to assist but was unable to on this occasion. I’d like to extend my thanks to my dear friend SilverDom for lending his penis and opinions to the cause of sex toy reviews.

Now let’s take a look at the Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator from YoYoLemon.

YoYoLemon Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator

The YoYoLemon Male Masturbator with Rotating and Thrusting and Female Moans, Realistic Textured Vagina Pocket Pussy (to give it its full and exhausting title!) is a penis masturbator in the typical “hard outer cup, soft inner sleeve” style. Like many other toys of its kind, it wouldn’t look out of place amidst a lineup of high-end kitchen gadgets. It measures a hefty 10.5″ in length and 3.5″ in diameter. The maximum penetration depth is 5.2″.

YoYoLemon thrusting and rotating masturbator

This toy offers both thrusting and rotating functions, as well as audio playing female voices making moaning sounds. I’m equally amused and a little unsettled by the idea of a toy that moans at you as you use it, but I can see how this might be some people’s thing.

The YoYoLemon Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator is rechargeable. A full charge takes 2.5 hours and gives you anything from 30 minutes to 1.5 hours of runtime, depending on the settings you’re using. Confusingly, the packaging states that the toy is “waterproof” but the instructions then warn you not to keep it in the water for long. I have not tested it in water for fear of killing it, but this suggests to me that it’s somewhat water-resistant for cleaning but it definitely wouldn’t be a good idea to use it in the bath or shower.

SilverDom notes that the text on the packaging “reads like it has been run through Google Translate 17 times.” An actual quote: “Do not let go the start of moanin and return to the moanin forward.” The instructions, such that they are, are written in much the same way. Hire an actual translator for your product info, please and thank you.

Materials and Care

The exterior case is made of hard ABS plastic, while the interior is TPE. This internal part is removeable for cleaning. TPE (thermoplastic elastomer) is usually non-toxic, but it is porous. This means that you can never get it truly sterile. The material will harbour bacteria and begin to degrade after a while.

It’s generally fine to use TPE toys for external use, and the vast majority of penis masturbators are made of this material. However, you should throw it away as soon as it starts to split, smell bad, or show any other signs of material degredation. You shouldn’t share a TPE toy, as this can be an STI transmission risk. Wash it with soap and water after each use, and then dust it with a little bit of cornstarch to encourage it to dry out completely.

In Use

The YoYoLemon Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator looks and feels well-built and is heavy in the hand. Most people will likely need two hands to operate it.

YoYoLemon thrusting and rotating masturbator

The inner sleeve is lined with dozens of little nubs to provide additional stimulation, and the opening is “vaguely vulva-shaped.” At first, the opening appears quite small, meaning that if your penis is above average in either length or girth you might worry about whether it’ll fit. Don’t worry, though – this toy is stretchy and with a little water-based lube, will accommodate the majority of penis sizes easily. If you have a slimmer penis, you might find it frustrating as the inner tube is quite wide and doesn’t have the tightest grip. SilverDom reported finding the inner nubs quite rough and not particularly pleasurable.

The toy offers 10 patterns of twisting and thrusting and a single button that cycles through them all. What is lacking, though, is speed control. A scroll wheel or separate buttons would fix this problem. “I found all of the patterns entirely useless to me, largely because I had no control over them. I came frustratingly close to orgasm at least 4 times,” SilverDom says.

There are three buttons on the toy in total. The other two switch it on and off, and control the moaning sounds.

Oh, and those moans? They’re basically low-quality mainstream porn sounds. If this is something you find sexy, fair enough. SilverDom and I both agreed it was mostly weird and distracting. There is a headphone jack if you want to make use of this feature discreetly. The toy’s actual sounds in use are – despite claims to the contrary – also rather loud and distracting.

The YoYoLemon Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator features a suction cup to attach it to a wall or other surface for hands-free use. The suction cup is reasonably sturdy and holds it in place well.

Cleaning is ostensibly easy thanks to the removeable inner part. However, it’s actually quite hard to take apart and put back together. This is made worse by the fact that the tube and entrance are two separate pieces.

Verdict

This one’s more miss than hit, unfortunately. There are just too many problems and design-and-execution flaws for me to really recommend it. Speed controls, a non-porous material, a better designed internal sleeve, and removing or improving the weird moaning function would all vastly improve the quality of this product.

This toy retails for $79.99/£65.99. It might be cheaper than other comparable products on the market, but it’s not really worth the cost saving when there’s such a dip in quality. You can spend just a little more and get something much better.

I’m gonna conclude with SilverDom’s TL/DR: “I don’t think a toy has ever made me feel so sexually frustrated… or with such temporary hearing loss!” Unfortunately, the promised “earth-shaking orgasms” were not forthcoming.

This review was sponsored, which means I was paid to write an honest and unbiased review. All views are mine and the toy tester’s. Pics are by YoYoLemon.

[Toy Review] TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator

This review has been a while in the making, so first I would like to thank TWIJOY for being so patient with me. I prefer to get things done properly rather than rushing to get them out quickly, and between some ongoing life stuff and a bout of COVID, there’s been a lot going on at C&K HQ.

I would also like to thank my Twitter pal Gentleman_Perve for his assistance in testing this toy and providing feedback. Me and the readers appreciate you lending your penis to the cause of accurate sex toy reviews!

So with that said, let’s take a look at the TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator.

TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator: State of the Art Stroker

The TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator looks like a high-end kitchen appliance. “It looked right at home charging on my kitchen counter!”, G_P says. Its design is sleek and stylish, and it is not immediately obvious as a sex toy. It’s one of those “if you know you know” type things.

TWIJOY NIGHT interactive masturbator

It has an opening at one end, housing a soft sleeve with textured nubbins. Those with shorter penises may find that they struggle to reach the rotating part. The interior material seems to be some kind of TPE. This material is body-safe for external use (though it is porous, so it’s best not to share this toy with anyone else for hygiene reasons.)

The TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator is IPX7 waterproof, meaning it can be submerged in water for play in the bath or shower and for ease of cleaning. It is rechargeable via the included cable.

Buttons and Controls

The TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator operates on a 5 button interface that is easy to decipher and use.

You’ll need to long-press the On/Off button to switch your toy on or off. The Rotate button rotates the inner sleeve, pressing the button again changes its pattern, and pressing and holding it stops the rotating. The Sucking button allows you to turn the sucking function on and off and to cycle through the different settings, and the Pressure button allows you to increase the toy’s pressure. Finally, the Exhaust button releases the toy with a short press.

So far, so intuitive!

Functionality and Feel

One of the greatest selling points of the TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator is that it comes with so much inbuilt functionality. Between the rotating, sucking, and pressure functions, it’s easy to customise your experience. It can reach up to an impressive 200 rotations per minute!

TWIJOY NIGHT interactive masturbator

The toy’s entrance is generously sized but may still feel tight particularly if your penis is girthy. Always use plenty of lube for a comfortable experience.

“I hit the Pressure button, but something that on my thumb had been pleasurable on my penis felt like it was going to rip my foreskin off!” says G_P. “I hit the Exhaust button which helped a lot,” he adds. So unless you like a LOT of tightness to the point of pain, you might want to be careful with that Pressure button!

The rotate button fared much better, offering a pleasurable stimulating feeling as the nubbins rotate around the shaft and head of the penis. If you prefer constant stimulation, you may find the patterns frustrating. They tend to stop and start or switch direction. Others will enjoy this variation. It’s purely a “your mileage may vary” situation. The steady speeds are quite slow, so that may be an issue if you prefer fast and furious rather than slow and steady.

“Next I tried the suck function, which uses the vacuum to suck and release in a number of different patterns,” G_P says. “Fortunately the increase and decrease in pressure here were much better than with the pressure button. It was very clever.” You can use these functions both separately and together.

One thing to bear in mind is that the suction on this toy is strong. “I tried to remove my penis and found it firmly suctioned into the device and painful to remove,” G_P says. “The Exhaust button was no use, so I had to open the case at the top where it separates for cleaning and release the pressure.”

The TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator is also loud, sounding like somewhere between a kitchen appliance and breathing apparatus. Truly silent motorised sex toys do not exist, so I always take claims that a toy is quiet with a pinch of salt. You do have to deal with a certain level of volume if you want power. But it’s something to be aware of if volume is an issue for you.

App Connectivity

When you buy your TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator, you have to select either the Android or iOS operating system. Make sure you get the right one, or you won’t be able to use your toy with the app! I received the Android version.

G_P reported that app connectivity was difficult. Once you have downloaded the app, you have to log in using Google, Facebook, or something similar or create an account with your email address. If security is a concern for you, use a burner account.

When you download and connect to the TWIJOY app, you’ll be awarded 300 tokens as a joining offer. This can be used to purchase time with the various webcam models who work through the platform if interactive online play is your thing (including letting them take control of your toy remotely.) You can buy more credits if you wish.

Another fun function of the TWIJOY app is the ability to send a control link to another person. This allows them to control your toy from anywhere in the world. This can be fun for long distance couples.

The app itself seems fairly simple and intuitive to use, with a clean and user-friendly interface.

Verdict

A mixed bag, this one. Overall, the main selling point of this toy seems to be for those who enjoy playing with cam models online. If having your favourite performer take control of your toy sounds like a fun time, then this toy will be a great choice for you.

It’s also a good option if you are looking for a technologically sophisticated toy to use with a long distance partner. If you’re just looking for a straightforward masturbator, though, it would not be my first recommendation.

The TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator retails for £100.

Thanks to TWIJOY for sponsoring this review. All opinions are mine and the tester’s own. Pictures are by TWIJOY.

[Toy Review] Habakon B-Warrior Automatic Masturbator

I don’t review all that many penis toys on this site for the simple and obvious reason that I do not have a penis. I do, however, have a very accommodating and penis-enabled nesting partner who is often very willing to lend his genitals to the cause of sex blogging (#DoinItForTheReaders! You’re welcome.)

Today’s review is of a penis masturbator (often and erroniously called a “male masturbator” – not all men have penises and not everyone with a penis is a man!) by a new-to-me brand. So how did the Habakon B-Warrior Automatic Masturbator fare in testing?

Habakon B-Warrior Automatic Masturbator

Habakon B-Warrior male masturbator

The Habakon B-Warrior Automatic Masturbator is a handheld masturbation sleeve designed for people with penises. It measures 9.5″ in length and has an insertable depth of 5.5″.

The exterior (the portion you hold in your hand) is made of ABS plastic. The interior (the part you put your penis into) is made of TPE. I’d prefer it was silicone, of course, but I can forgive TPE for a non-insertable toy. However, it’s best if you don’t share this toy, and you shouldn’t expect it to last forever even with good care as TPE is porous.

Habakon B-Warrior masturbation sleeve

The internal portion is removeable for easy cleaning. Pop it out and wash it with warm water and gentle soap, then let it dry thoroughly before putting it back into the case. Some people say that dusting TPE toys with a little cornstarch helps them to retain their quality and structural integrity for longer.

The Habakon B-Warrior is rechargeable via the included USB cable, with a 2 hour charge giving you around an hour of runtime. It is not waterproof, so do not use it in the bath or shower and always remove the sleeve for cleaning.

In Use

The first thing I noticed straight away about the Habakon B-Warrior when I took it out of the box is this: it’s really, really heavy. This may or may not be a problem for you, of course, but if holding and manipulating heavy objects is problem that’s something to be aware of. I can’t hold it and use it on my partner for very long due to its weight, though he had less trouble using it on himself. I have tiny hands, which probably didn’t help.

"Male masturbation sleeve," or masturbator for penis owners

The TPE interior is really soft and feels lovely to the touch. It’s also heavily textured inside for additional stimulation. Unlike some penis toys I’ve seen, this one seems to be genuinely suited to dicks of all sizes. You’d be amazed how many toys we’ve tried in which, without putting too fine a point on it, my partner’s dick simply wouldn’t fit. Not the case here and, with the help of a little water-based lube (necessary as TPE can be quite grabby), he was able to slide straight into it with no discomfort.

The Habakon B-Warrior isn’t too loud, but it’s sound is very distinctive. In particular, when the suction is on you’ll get a sort of squelching noise followed by a squeak. How much that bothers you, though, will be down to individual preference.

Settings & Controls

The Habakon B-Warrior Automatic Masturbator offers two modes of stimulation: vibration and suction.

The vibrations are incredibly weak, unfortunately. I could literally barely feel them on my fingers and my partner said the same thing about his penis. I don’t know if the problem is the placement of the motor or the quality of the motor (or both), but if you like intense vibrations, skip this one.

The suction mechanism is better. It gives a definite and intense squeeze. “I feel like I’m being milked!” my partner commented. He said he thinks it’s unlikely this toy would ever make him orgasm. But if the idea of having the orgasm squeezed out of your dick with a sucking type motion appeals to you, you’ll love the B-Warrior Masturbator.

The controls are simple: turn the toy on and off with the largest button, then use the two icon buttons to switch between vibration and suction settings. There are 4 vibration modes, 3 suction modes, and something called “one click orgasm”. The latter involves pressing a separate button on the back of the toy, which then enhances the sucking mechanism. This supposedly “allows you to reach climax any time” but… bodies don’t really work like that. Still, it might up the pleasure if more intense suction is a thing you like!

Habakon penis masturbator buttons

The buttons are large, well-placed, and easy to press.

Verdict

My verdict on this one is a mix. Ultimately, it didn’t work particularly well for us. However, that’s likely to be a matter of preference rather than a direct comment on the quality of the toy. It may work great for you!

The Habakon B-Warrior Automatic Masturbator retails for $66.99. My readers can get 15% off with the code Habakon01.

This review was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write an honest and fair review. All opinions are my own (and Mr C&K’s!)

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day #23: Couple’s Cock Ring

Well, here we are – it’s the penultimate day of my review series of Lovehoney and Womanizer’s 2022 Sex Toy Advent Calendar. You can read all the reviews here. And if you decide to buy a calendar or any Lovehoney product, please consider buying through my affiliate links. This supports my work at no additional cost to you!

Don’t forget to check back for the final day tomorrow.

Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 Day 23: Couple’s Cock Ring

couple's cock ring

Product Info

  • Material: Silicone
  • Colour: Purple
  • Body safe? Yes, silicone is both non-porous and non-toxic, making it a completely body-safe sex toy material
  • Waterproof: Yes
  • Size: 3″ total length, with a 1″ “tongue” for clitoral stimulation
  • Lube-compatible: Yes, water-based only
  • Cleaning: A body-safe sterile wipe, antibacterial soap and water, a 10% bleach solution, boiling, or dishwasher

Pros

  • Pairs with the bullet vibe from day 1 (or any other bullet in your collection)
  • Soft silicone
  • Stretchy to fit most penis sizes
  • Nice texturing on the clitoral stimulator

Cons

  • Vibrations feel very weak once transmitted through the silicone
  • Clitoral stimulator is too flimsy to really be satisfying

Verdict

I have long come to the conclusion that vibrating cock rings are better in theory than in practice, at least for me. This one seems well designed on the surface, and I do like that it’s designed to fit a wide range of bodies and that the clitoral stimulator portion is textured. Unfortunately, in practice, it’s too flimsy and flexible to provide any kind of pressure or sustained stimulation.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 2022 Couples’ Sex Toy Advent Calendar, which retails for £130 and contains £374.99 worth of products, to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going! US readers can buy it here.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day #14: Textured Stroker

14 days down, 10 to go! I’m unboxing Lovehoney and Womanizer’s 2022 Sex Toy Advent Calendar day by day and bringing you a mini review of everything that’s inside.

Read the rest of the series here and, if you decide to buy the calendar or anything else from Lovehoney, please click through via one of my affiliate links. It sends a small commission my way and helps keep the blog going at no additional cost to you.

Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 Day 14: Textured Stroker

Textured stroker

Product Info

  • Material: TPE
  • Colour: Translucent white
  • Body safe? Sort of. TPE isn’t toxic, but it is porous and will harbour bacteria.
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible
  • Size: 6″ long and 4″ wide when flat
  • Lube compatible: Yes, water-based is recommended
  • Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water. Please note that TPE can be washed but cannot be sterilised.

Pros

  • Nice ribbed and dotted texturing
  • Flat wrap-around design makes it suitable for all penis sizes

Cons

  • Weird powdery texture that makes my sensory issues unhappy
  • Material cannot be properly sterilised due to its porous nature
  • May only last a few uses

Verdict

This is an interesting design; I like that it’s flat and wrap-around rather than the usual tube shape, and the texturing is excellent. Due to it being made of porous TPE, which will start to break down after a while, it’s probably only going to last a short time. Grab a silicone stroker if you enjoy this sensation and want a longer-lasting toy!

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 2022 Couples’ Sex Toy Advent Calendar, which retails for £130 and contains £374.99 worth of products, to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going! US readers can buy it here.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day #6: Thick Cock Ring

Hello again! Happy Monday and happy Halloween! I’m currently working my way, day by day, through Lovehoney and Womanizer’s Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022. Check out the full series here and if you decide to buy one (or anything else from Lovehoney), using the affiliate links in this post really helps out me and the blog.

It’s Day 6. Let’s go!

Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 Day 6: Thick Cock Ring

Thick cock ring from Lovehoney sex toy advent calendar

Product Info

  • Material: Silicone
  • Colour: Black
  • Body safe? Yes, silicone is phthalate-free and non-porous
  • Waterproof: Yes
  • Size: 1.5″ basic diameter but very stretchy
  • Lube-compatible: Yes – water-based is best
  • Cleaning: A body-safe sterile wipe, antibacterial soap and water, a 10% bleach solution, boiling, or dishwasher

Pros

  • Soft, body-safe silicone
  • Thick cock ring design makes it comfortable to wear
  • Super stretchy to accommodate the vast majority of penis sizes
  • Comes with a useful (multilingual) safety guide

Cons

  • None – this is a great basic toy.

Verdict

An excellent basic cock ring. No criticisms here; it’s body-safe, will fit the vast majority of users, and should last for years if you look after it.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 2022 Couples’ Sex Toy Advent Calendar, which retails for £130 and contains £374.99 worth of products, to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going! US readers can buy it here.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day #2: Ribbed Stroker

It’s that time of year again, and I’m pleased to be bringing you another day-by-day unboxing of Lovehoney and Womanizer’s 2022 Sex Toy Advent Calendar! Let’s see what’s behind Door #2…

Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 Day 2: Ribbed Stroker

Ribbed stroker from Lovehoney sex toy advent calendar 2022

Product Info

  • Material: TPE, I think
  • Colour: Translucent white
  • Body safe? Kinda. TPE isn’t toxic but it is porous and will harbour bacteria
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible
  • Size: 4″ in length, very stretchy
  • Lube compatible: Yes, water-based only
  • Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water. Please note that TPE can be washed but cannot be sterilised

Pros

  • Small pocket in the side, allowing you to insert yesterday’s bullet vibrator (or any bullet vibe of your choice)
  • Soft, squishy feeling material
  • Very stretchy, making it suitable for the vast majority of dick sizes
  • Nice internal texturing

Cons

  • Material cannot be fully sterilised due to its porous nature
  • Material is already starting to tear around the holes
  • Likely only good for a few uses

Verdict

An okay stroker for a few uses, or for a beginner to find out if this is a sensation they enjoy. It won’t last long, though, so if you enjoy using it I recommend upgrading to a silicone stroker ASAP.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 2022 Couples’ Sex Toy Advent Calendar, which retails for £130 and contains £374.99 worth of products, to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going! US readers can buy it here.

[Toy Review] Hot Octopuss Atom Plus Lux

[Update 02/11/23: this product has been discontinued, though the original Atom and the Atom Plus are still available. I have removed dead links but left the post up for reference.]

This review has been a long time coming. For various reasons, we kept getting thwarted each time we tried to test out this toy! But better late than never, and I’m pleased to be bringing you a review of the Hot Octopuss Atom Plus Lux today.

What is the Atom Plus Lux?

The Atom Plus Lux is the newest vibrating cock ring from Hot Octopuss, London-based purveyors of innovative sex toys. It’s an upgrade on the original Hot Octopus Atom Plus, the main difference being that it now comes with a remote control.

Hot Octopuss Atom Plus Lux cock ring

The Atom Plus Lux measures 4.72″ in length and 2.36″ in total width. It is made of ultra soft and body-safe matte black silicone and adorned with plastic accents on each end, which is also where the buttons live. The top is stamped with the Hot Octopuss crown insignia.

The Atom Plus Lux contains two motors. Motor #1 is housed at the top and designed to deliver vibrations to the head and upper shaft of the penis, as well as the receptive partner’s clitoris during penetrative sex. The second motor lives in the base and, combined with the pronounced ridge, stimulates the wearer’s perineum.

Atom Plus Lux vibrating cock ring viewed from the side

The Atom Plus Lux is rechargeable via the included USB cable. Charging takes 2 hours and you get around 40 minutes’ use out of a full charge, which isn’t amazing. It is fully waterproof, should you want to use it in the bath or shower.

How powerful is it?

One thing Hot Octopuss has consistently got right is their motors. The Atom Plus Lux’s two motors are impressively powerful, certainly more so than any other vibrating cock ring I’ve tried. That said, they are a little on the buzzy side. They do not have the deep, satisfying rumbles of the “bass” motors in, say, the Jett or the Kurve.

The Atom Plus Lux offers five levels of power and five vibrating patterns. I asked Mr CK how the vibrations felt to him. His answer: “I mean, they’re fine, but they won’t get me off”. I could definitely orgasm from this toy if I used it just for clitoral stimulation, but probably not during penetrative sex (for reasons I’ll get into below).

By the way: the two motors are integrated, so you cannot control them separately.

How does it fare in use?

I am coming to the conclusion that Mr CK and I just don’t really care for vibrating cock rings all that much. The idea of them is good, but in practice they tend to be more trouble than they’re really worth.

Hot Octopuss Atom Plus Lux vibrating cock ring on Godemiche Ambit silicone dildo
Feat. Godemiche Ambit in a limited edition Valentine’s Day design.

You have to put on the Atom Plus Lux when the penis is flaccid or semi-flaccid, and it has to sit behind the testicles (we tried it first just around the penis, and it just moves around and slips off). The silicone is pretty rigid and hard to stretch for long at first, although it does loosen up a little after a few uses. That said, if you suffer from pain or muscle weakness in your hands, you may find it challenging to put on.

Part of the idea behind vibrating cock rings is that most people with vulvas need sustained clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. The problem is that they don’t really provide that stimulation very well! While I appreciate the extra clitoral sensation that comes from using a vibrating cock ring like the Atom Plus Lux, it’s neither consistent nor sustained enough to actually get me off unless my partner just, sort of, puts his penis inside me and then doesn’t move. (Which… can be hot and is apparently a thing Mormons don’t think counts as sex, but it’s not really our thing!)

Remote control cock ring Hot Octopuss Atom Plus Lux remote

The Atom Plus Lux’s controls are easy to use, with an on/off/change pattern button located on the bottom and the speed buttons located on either side at the top. The remote control is a nice addition, as pressing buttons on the toy itself can be a little fiddly mid-fuck!

Verdict

The Atom Plus Lux is a very well-designed and well-made vibrating cock ring with two reasonably powerful motors. I don’t think we’ll be using it much, but that’s got very little to do with the product itself.

Honestly, if any toy was going to turn me into a vibrating cock ring convert, it’d be this one. Sadly, it really hasn’t, so I have to conclude they’re probably not for me.

That said, if you enjoy (or think you might enjoy) this kind of toy, the Atom Plus Lux is a good bet! Hot Octopuss’s products are well-made and built to last and, if something does go wrong, their customer service is stellar. I actually recently had an issue with a different product and they sorted it so quickly and professionally.

The Atom Plus Lux retails for £89.95 (that’s $129.95 for my American friends).

Thanks to Hot Octopuss, who sent me this product in exchange for an honest review. All views are mine. Affiliate links are included and if you shop through them, I make a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #22: Penis Sleeve

Update 04/03/22: this product is seasonal only and has been discontinued. Individual components may still be available.

With only three days to go, we’re definitely into the home stretch of this adventure now! In case you’re brand new here (hi, welcome!) I’m currently reviewing Lovehoney’s “Best Sex of Your Life” adult advent calendar, a set aimed at couples which offers a sex toy, kinky implement, or other item to improve your sex life each day.

So what’s behind Door #22?

Door #22: Penis Sleeve

Lovehoney textured penis sleeve

I’ve had a wide range of feelings about the items in this advent calendar, ranging from very positive to “ugh, seriously?” But today is the first one that has genuinely, seriously annoyed me! Let’s take a look at this stretchy penis sleeve and find out why I’m going “aaaaahhhhhh no!”

  • Material: A jelly-like “soft plastic”, possibly TPE.
  • Colour: Clear.
  • Body safe? No. More on why below.
  • Power: N/A.
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 4″ total length, very stretchy.
  • Lube compatible: Should work with any kind of lube.
  • Cleaning: You really can’t clean this material. Gentle soap and warm water will clean surface dirt but since it’s porous, it’ll never be entirely clean again.
Lovehoney textured penis extender

The basic idea of a penis sleeve like this is that you stretch it over your penis before penetrative sex. The bumps and nodules supposedly offer additional stimulation to the receptive partner, while helping the wearer to “last longer”, presumably by reducing the sensations they can feel.

Setting aside all the problems with the ubiquitous idea that a penis owner’s job is to “last” as long as possible during sex, the premise of this toy pisses me off. Sure, wearing a penis sleeve might mean you don’t come as quickly (or at all, until you take it off). Why? Because you can’t fucking feel anything!

I also seriously question how much these little jelly bumps and ridges are going to do for the person being penetrated. They’re not really pronounced enough to have the effect of, say, a highly textured dildo. I suspect the effect, for most people, will be little more than that of one of those “ribbed for her pleasure” condoms (i.e. basically nothing.)

Then we get into the safety issue. The website and packaging insists this penis sleeve doesn’t contain phthalates, so let’s take that at face value. But phthalates aren’t the only reason to be wary of jelly-like, “soft plastic” and TPE/TPR sex toys. According to toxic toy expert Dangerous Lilly, these materials are often softened with mineral oils and can contain other harmful chemicals besides phthalates. The material is also unstable and will begin to break down after a few months. (That myth about silicone toys melting together in storage? They won’t, but these mystery soft plastic toys likely will!)

Lovehoney penis sleeve on Godemiche Ambit silicone dildo
Feat. the Godemiche Ambit in a limited-edition Valentine’s Day design

This material is also extremely porous. I have mixed feelings about porous materials for external toys (TL;dr: probably okay for a few uses, but replace them often) but I NEVER recommend using them internally. Just from handling this penis sleeve, taking photos, and leaving it out on my desk overnight, it’s started to dull and get cloudy with lint, house dust, and the oils from my skin. You will NEVER get this thing clean, and it will harbour bacteria that could potentially give you a nasty infection. If you absolutely must use it for sex, please use it once and then throw it in the trash where it belongs.

Bottom line: I actually can’t tell you how it feels, because my partner and I both refuse to put this contraption anywhere near our genitals. Steer clear. I cannot stress enough how much I hate it. The fact that it’s included in a set that is fundamentally marketed at beginners, who may not know any better (because we don’t exactly get taught about toy safety in sex education), just makes it worse.

If you want to get your own Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar, they retail for £120. You can also get 10% off this or anything else you want to order at Lovehoney by using my code “coffkink10” at checkout.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!