I Tried an Adult Mystery Box! [Bed Nerdz Review]

I love a mystery box! The concept of giving someone information about my preferences and then they pick out things to suit me is just very satisfying to me. It’s a bit like receiving a present from someone who knows you well enough to pick out things you’ll love. So when new company Bed Nerdz got in touch and asked me to review one of their adult mystery box sets, I was all over it.

What is Bed Nerdz and How Does It Work?

Adult mystery box from Bed Nerdz - box opened showing presentation and packaging

Bed Nerdz is a one-off gift box service (i.e. not a subscription.) There are currently three options to choose from, each containing three toys:

  • Rodeo Drive Box: One penis toy, one vulva toy, one anal toy
  • Sunset Strip Box: Three vulva toys
  • La La Land Mystery Box: Three toys chosen just for you based on preferences you specify

For the La La Land Mystery Box, you’ll need to answer a few questions about yourself, your partners, and how you like to have sex. I told them that I’m female, have sex with partners of multiple genders, enjoy vibration and suction, prefer clitoral stimulation, and would describe my sexual personality as adventurous, curious, and kinky.

You’ll receive three products of the eight currently in the Bed Nerdz catalogue. I’m assuming they will add more options over time, though it makes sense to keep the range small initially.

What’s the La La Land Adult Mystery Box Like?

My La La Land box arrived discreetly packaged in the post, and I set about unboxing it. I was immediately impressed by how beautifully presented it was. The contents, set in a sturdy box, were protected with a paper covering tied by a ribbon.

Adult mystery box from Bed Nerdz - box opened showing presentation and packaging

A postcard with some gorgeous sapphic artwork (see above) and a message from the founders was included.

Postcard to Amy from Bed Nerdz founders

Inside, the three toys (and a set of bonus sex dice) were presented in foam packaging.

Adult mystery box from Bed Nerdz with toys in foam packaging

Ten out of ten for presentation! But what about performance?

Which Toys Did I Receive?

Safe to say the Bed Nerdz team understood the assignment (as the young people apparently say!) I received three clitoral toys: two vibrators, and a suction toy.

Toy chargers and instruction leaflets from Bed Nerdz

Let’s have a look at each of them in turn.

Jesse Clit Sucker

The Jesse is a clitoral suction toy made of body-safe silicone and measuring 5.5″ in length. It offers 10 suction modes including 3 constant speeds and 7 patterns. It has a two-button interface, one button that switches the toy on and off and another that scrolls through the patterns.

Bed Nerdz Jesse clitoral suction vibrator

The Jesse is IPX6 waterproof, AKA splashproof but not submersible.

Overall, this is a pretty good basic clitoral suction toy! It doesn’t have all the bells and whistles of some of the higher end brands, of course, but it’s also a fraction of the price when purchased as part of one of these kits. The nozzle is broad enough to get a good seal around my clit, and the steady power settings are decent. I’m not sure what the point of the little fronds inside the nozzle is; I guess they’re supposed to tickle the clit but on my body at least, they’re nowhere near long enough to make contact with it.

The Jesse isn’t too loud, and its light weight and tapered handle make it comfortable to hold.

Sandy Bullet Vibrator

The Sandy is a small bullet vibrator, measuring just over 3″ in length and made of body-safe ABS plastic. Like the Jesse, it offers 10 modes: 3 speeds and 7 patterns.

Bed Nerdz Sandy clitoral vibrator

There is a one-button interface on the toy, and a separate remote control with an on/off button and a speed change button. If you’re going to include a remote with a toy, I would really expect it to have dual-directional controls, but this is probably something I’m going to be banging on at toy manufacturers about for the rest of my life. The remote’s responsiveness is good, though. The Sandy is also IPX6 water-resistant, though the remote isn’t.

I didn’t expect much from this little bullet, but it really pleasantly surprised me with its intensity! The vibes are a little buzzier than I would really like, but I can’t fault the power of its motor. And, as it is plastic, the vibes can be felt more intensely through the hard casing.

Cali Wand Vibrator

The Cali is a mini wand vibrator measuring 6″ in total length. It provides a total of 20 different vibration settings and 9 speeds to choose from on each setting, with a three-button interface allowing you to switch it on or off, change the speed, or change the setting respectively. It is made of body-safe silicone on Bed Nerdz’ signature shade of coral orange.

Bed Nerdz Cali mini wand vibrator

This toy, like the others in the box, is IPX6 water-resistant.

Despite being the most fully-featured toy in this set, I ultimately found the Cali wand the most disappointing of the three. Its motor is extremely buzzy, and not strong enough to compensate for the dampening effect of the silicone.

Bed Nerdz Mystery Box: Verdict

Overall, I’m pretty impressed with my Bed Nerdz mystery box, which was super fun to receive, unbox, and test! Besides my perspectives on the individual toys, let’s summarise with some pros and cons of the set and the customer experience as a whole.

Pros:

  • At £149.99 for three toys plus the extras, the Bed Nerdz La La Land Adult Mystery Box is pretty good value for what you get
  • Gorgeous, thoughtful presentation, ideal for gifting or treating yourself
  • All toys are body-safe
  • All toys are rechargeable and come pre-charged
  • The sex dice are a cute and fun extra

Cons:

  • Limited catalogue of products currently in the range
  • Included lube contained non-body-safe ingredients
  • Some unnecessary gendering on the site – you can just ask about preferred areas of stimulation without categorising toys as “male” or “female”

Who Should Consider Buying an Adult Mystery Box?

I would have absolutely loved a set like this when I was first starting out exploring with sex toys! It’s a great option if you’re trying toys for the first time, or trying to expand your collection but not sure of what you like. A mystery box is also a sexy gift for a lover or partner, or a fun thing to buy and then explore as a couple.

I’m looking forward to seeing how Bed Nerdz grows, develops, and expands on this concept in the future.

Buy your mystery box from Bed Nerdz.

Thanks to Bed Nerdz for sending me this bespoke box to review! All views, as always, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Lovehoney Advent Calendar 2024 Day #1: Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator

It’s that time of year again when I do a day-by-day unboxing of the Lovehoney Advent Calendar for couples! Lovehoney UK is offering three advent calendars this year: a 12-day version and a 24-day version in partnership with Womanizer, as well as the Amorana Deluxe 24-day calendar which contains over £1100 worth of products. In the US, the 24-day version is the only one currently available.

Lovehoney Adult Advent Calendar 2024

I received the Lovehoney x Womanizer 24-day advent calendar. Straight away, I will say that I like the presentation of this calendar much more than previous iterations. The products are packaged in little individually labelled cardboard boxes in festive red and gold, rather than the tear-off doors that start to look a little scruffy when you’re a few days in. There’s also no plastic inner tray, cutting down on single-use plastic to make the whole thing more eco-friendly.

Lovehoney Adult Advent Calendar 2024

For the next 24 days, I’ll open one door each day and tell you a little about the item inside in a mini review with product info, pros and cons.

Without further ado, let’s dive into Day 1, shall we?

Lovehoney Advent Calendar 2024 Day #1: Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator

Like previous iterations of the Lovehoney Advent Calendar, this one begins with a rechargeable bullet vibrator. This time, it’s a pretty rose gold colour with black button and Lovehoney insignia.

Lovehoney Adult Advent Calendar 2024 rechargeable bullet vibrator

Product Info

  • Material: ABS plastic with silicone button
  • Colour: Rose gold
  • Body safe? Yes, ABS plastic is non-toxic and non-porous
  • Waterproof: Yes, IPX-7 waterproof (submersible)
  • Size: 3″ length
  • Speeds/patterns: 3 speeds and 7 patterns
  • Lube-compatible: Any kind of lube is suitable
  • Cleaning: Sterile wipe or warm water and antibacterial soap
  • RRP if bought as a single item: £24.99

Pros

  • Light and compact – ideal for sliding between bodies during partnered sex or throwing into your bag for a sexy date
  • Surprisingly decent level of power for its size and price-point, and the hard plastic transmits the vibrations well
  • Versatile – designed for clits but great for penises, balls, nipples, and all kinds of other erogenous zones too (don’t use it anally, though, as it doesn’t have a suitable base)

Cons

  • Unlike many Lovehoney toys, it does not arrive with any charge so you’ll need to plug it in before you use it. This can ruin the mood if you’re aiming for an “unbox and use straight away” vibe.
  • A little more buzzy than I would prefer
  • Single button interface is kind of annoying when there are so many settings

Verdict

Lovehoney Adult Advent Calendar 2024 bullet vibrator

Once again, a solid basic bullet vibrator to kick things off. I would prefer it to be a bit more rumbly, but for the size and price-point it’s decent.

The Lovehoney Advent Calendar 2024 (24 Day) retails for £149 at Lovehoney UK and $199 at Lovehoney US, and contains £457/$530 worth of products! Move fast if you want one – these usually sell out by mid November.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 24 day Lovehoney x Womanizer Sex Toy Advent Calendar to review. All views are mine (with occasional input from Mr C&K!) Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Toy Review] Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibe

I don’t even know how many bullet vibrators I’ve tried at this point. They’re one of the most ubiquitous and popular sex toy models of all, and there must be thousands of variations on this theme on the market. Really good bullets, though? They’re much rarer. One such toy landed in my review queue this week, though. Let’s look at the Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibe.

What is the Vibeology Aeronaut?

Vibeology Aeronaut mini vibe black plastic bullet vibrator

The Vibeology Aeronaut is a bullet vibrator measuring 3.5″ in length and in the classic rounded-end shape. Its main body is made of ABS plastic, which is body-safe and non-porous as well as super easy to clean. The single button, located on the base, is made of silicone.

This toy is IPX7 waterproof, meaning it can be submerged in water for up to 30 minutes at a time. It is also USB rechargeable via the included magnetic cable. I got over an hour of use out of a full charge.

Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibe: Pros

Fundamentally, the Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibe is simply a damn good basic bullet vibrator. Its vibrations are surprisingly strong for its small size and low price-point, and also much more rumbly than I expected. Since plastic transmits vibrations well with minimal dampening, I can really feel them throughout my entire clit and vulva.

Vibeology Aeronaut mini vibe black plastic bullet vibrator

The shape allows for both broader stimulation with the long edge, or more targeting with the rounded end. I also appreciate this toy’s clicky, easy-to-press button and light weight.

Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibe: Cons

My only major complaint about the Vibeology Aeronaut is its single-button interface. I always prefer to be able to scroll both ways through patterns and speeds. The Aeronaut has 3 constant speeds and 7 patterns, so having to cycle through all of them is a bit annoying.

Vibeology Aeronaut mini vibe button close-up

One downside that is pretty consistent with bullet vibes is the transmission of vibrations into your hand. This tends to be more noticeable with plastic toys than silicone ones, and it is pretty strong with the Aeronaut. It doesn’t bother me that much for short stints of use, but if you have pain or nerve issues in your hands it’s something to be aware of.

Verdict

If you’re looking for a good quality basic bullet with strong vibrations, particularly if you’re on a budget, the Vibeology Aeronaut is a fantastic pick. Considering its low price-point, I’m genuinely impressed at just how good this toy is.

The Aeronaut Mini Vibe retails for a super budget-friendly £21/$19.99.

Thanks to Shevibe for sending me the Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibe to test and review. All views and writing are mine, as always. Affiliate links appear in this post and using them helps to keep the blog going!

[Toy Review] Pleasure Engine Fluffer Vibrating Makeup Brush

You know how some images stay with you and become a part of your erotic imagination? Years ago, I remember seeing a Dominant using a makeup brush to tease their partner’s clit at a play party. I found the entire thing unbearably sexy and have had countless fantasies about having something similar done to me. Turns out a lot of people have had the same idea! An ex partner once tried this on me with a small paintbrush (ouch, poke-y, no) but I did eventually buy a new large, soft makeup brush solely for this purpose. The Pleasure Engine Fluffer is a sex toy that takes this one step further. It is, essentially, a vibrating makeup brush (or a makeup brush vibrator, if you prefer!)

Pleasure Engine Fluffer Vibrating Makeup Brush

Pleasure Engine Fluffer vibrating makeup brush

The Pleasure Engine Fluffer is a vibrating makeup brush measuring around 6″ in length. The handle is made of ABS plastic. The bristles are made of… well, I don’t know. It doesn’t say. Makeup brushes are usually made from synthetic fibres such as nylon or polyester, so I assume the same is probably true here. However, I don’t know for sure. This means I also can’t tell you with any certainty how porous or not this material is.

In terms of cleaning, the instructions say to wash the bristles with water and gentle antibacterial soap. I did this, and it still felt soft afterwards and did not seem to hang on to any odours. However, because I can’t tell you for sure that it’s non-porous, I recommend against sharing this toy unless you have negotiated fluid exchange and this falls within your acceptable risk parameters.

This toy is splashproof rather than waterproof, so don’t use it in the bath or shower.

What I Liked About the Fluffer

I had high hopes for the Fluffer and I’m happy to say that overall I really, really liked it! Here are a few of the main things I liked about this product.

Pleasure Engine Fluffer vibrating makeup brush closeup on bristles

  • The bristles are super soft – soft enough even to brush directly over my very sensitive clit.
  • It just… feels really fucking good. The gentle tickle of the bristles combined with the vibrations is heavenly. I should note that I haven’t been able to orgasm with this toy, because the stimulation is just too gentle. For once, though, I’m not seeing that as a significant downside. In fact, this toy perfectly plays into my teasing kink. It creates exactly the kind of frustration I enjoy. And, of course, I can switch to a more intense toy when I’m ready to get off.
  • Speaking of which, if you’re using the Fluffer and find you want a little more intensity, you can just turn it around and use the handle part directly against your clit. I think this is probably incidental rather than intentional but in this way, it’s kinda like two vibrators in one.
  • It’s USB rechargeable without a cable! Simply pop the top off and use the inbuilt USB connector to attach it to a power source. It charges quickly in around 40 minutes, and I’ve had over an hour of use out of a full charge.
  • It’s super discreet and genuinely looks like the thing it’s disguised as. Fun fact: some beauty experts like vibrating brushes for actually applying makeup, so this is pretty indistinguishable from one of those. (Don’t use the same brush for your foundation that you use for your genitals, though, I beg you.) I don’t really care if my sex toys look like sex toys (I think that ship has long sailed) but plenty of people need or prefer discretion for all sorts of reasons, and toys that look like other things are great options for those folks.
  • At just $26/£21, it’s super affordable.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Apart from the unclear material labelling re. the bristles, the main thing I dislike about this toy is that the vibrations are pretty weak and quite buzzy. As I mentioned above, I haven’t been able to actually orgasm with it.

I also find that a lot of the vibrations are transmitted through the handle. This means that my hand ends up getting buzzed a lot during use. It’s not a massive problem, but it’s definitely noticeable.

The one-button interface is, as always, kind of annoying. But I can’t complain too much with a toy at this price-point.

Fluffer Vibrating Makeup Brush: Verdict

This is a really fun little toy that I like a lot! Even though it’s not particularly powerful, it still feels amazing and it really hits on a very specific kink button for me.

The Pleasure Engine Fluffer retails for £21/$26 at Shevibe.

Thanks to Shevibe for sending me the Pleasure Engine Fluffer to review! All views are, as always, mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Toy Review] Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder

Tentacle toys, and fantasy sex toys in general, are a massive and hugely popular category. Readers are always asking me for recommendations and, until recently, I’ve been pretty stuck for what to suggest. I don’t share this particular kink, so I’ve never really sought out tentacle toys, alien toys, and so on for their own sake.

However, I’m now thrilled to have discovered the lovely folks at Uncover Creations and their fabulous all-silicone, body-safe, UK-made products. They were kind enough to send me three of their clit grinder toys to try. Today we’re looking at the third: the Tentacle Grinder.

(I suppose I should have probably reviewed the original Tentacle Grinder before the Tentacle Grinder II, but I loved the latter so much that I couldn’t wait to tell you all about it!)

Uncover Creations’ Tentacle Grinder

Tentacle Toys from Uncover Creations purple tentacle clit grinder

The Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder was one of the company’s first forays into tentacle toys and it seems to be standing the test of time for good reason! This clitoral grinder is a swirly mass of coiled tentacles, each lined with dozens of little suckers. I’m hugely impressed with the intricacy and detail of this toy. If you’re into tentacles for their own sake, you’ll love the fluid, almost moving sense you get from this toy’s aesthetic.

My Tentacle Grinder is a lovely lilac colour – looking at the colour guide, I think it’s the one called “Denim.” You can choose from a range of colourways including single colour, fade, and marble effects, or you can save a little money on your order by letting the company choose and surprise you.

The Tentacle Grinder is made of body-safe matte silicone. If you prefer things extra smooth, you can get the “Silky Smooth” upgrade which uses a special additive made from Durian tree nuts. There are other customisation options, too – you can add a hole for a bullet vibrator, add a vibrator to your order, or choose from different colours for your straps.

Back view of the Uncover Creations tentacle toys grinder

The toy measures 7″ in length, 4.9″ across, and 1.77″ in depth at the tallest point. It comes with a set of straps measuring 70cm (2.5 ft), allowing you to attach it to a surface, toy mount, or body part if you want to. Though, since it weighs in at a chunky 440g, it will stay in place on any flat surface without the need for the straps.

Tentacle Grinder In Use

The Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder is texture for days. The curves of the various tendrils, plus all the little suckers, means I get so much stimulation that it’s almost overwhelming in the best possible way. Given all that texturing, though, you’ll really need lots of lube to get the best experience from this one.

Since it’s relatively large and wide, you can get incredible all-over vulva stimulation from this toy. The stimulation is also continuous and constant. No matter how you move against it, at least one of the tentacles and all its suckers will be in contact with your clit at all times.

As with the other Uncover Creations tentacle toys I’ve tried, the height of this grinder is one of its main and best selling points. Its relatively tall design makes it so easy to get into a comfortable position and grind against it, even while lying down.

The firmness is excellent, too. Though the company calls this blend of silicone “super soft”, there’s still plenty of firmness and substance to grind against. If you prefer your toys much firmer, you can always ask for a custom toy in the “medium” blend.

Tentacle grinder from Uncover Creations in purple

The only downside to this toy is that it’s a bit of a nightmare to clean. Bodily fluids and lube can get stuck between the various tentacles and in all the little folds. I recommend boil-sterilising it regularly to make sure you’ve got it really clean as well as washing it thoroughly between uses.

Tentacle Toys + Vibrations

My Uncover Creations grinders came with the premium bullet option, which is the Nu Sensuelle Bullet Point. This surprisingly excellent and powerful bullet (which costs just £35 to add to your order) is waterproof, rechargeable, and offers 10 constant speeds and 10 vibration patterns.

You can also use your own favourite bullet vibrator with your grinder if you prefer, of course. Whatever you use, though, lube it up before you insert it into your grinder. Trust me, you don’t want to be trying to get it out afterwards without lube.

Nu Sensuelle bullet point bullet vibrator

Like the Tentacle Grinder II, the original Tentacle Grinder doesn’t really need the bullet. It’s just so excellent on its own. Even so, sometimes it’s nice to mix things up and if you want a little extra stimulation or something a bit different, the bullet is a nice addition. The thickness of the silicone on this one does dampen the vibrations a bit, making them slightly buzzy. Still, combined with the texture of the grinder, they’re more than enough for me.

Verdict

I love the Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder. When I want intensity from a grind toy, this is the one I reach for. If you like a lot of texture, this is the toy for you.

The basic Tentacle Grinder with black straps in a random colour retails at £60. Optional extras such as custom toy or strap colours, the vibrating bullet hole, a vibrator, and the “silky smooth” finish add to the cost.

Thanks to Uncover Creations for sending me three of their tentacle toys to review. All views are, as ever, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Toy Review] Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II

Readers are constantly asking me for recommendations for good fantasy sex toys. And I’m often stuck for what to recommend, because tentacles and aliens and monsters and things just aren’t really my kink. You know what is my kink, though? Quality and body-safe sex toys made and sold by small businesses. (Also grinders. I fucking love grinders.) Enter Uncover Creations, who recently sent me their Tentacle Grinder II (as well as two other products – reviews coming soon!) to test for you all.

Uncover Creations is a small business based in the UK and started by two friends who were sick of seeing the same boring, repetitive sex toy designs again and again. All their toys are made from high-quality, body-safe silicone and hand poured to order in a huge range of colours and styles. To say I was excited to try out their stuff would be an understatement!

Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II

Even though I don’t actually have a tentacle kink, I’ll say this for the Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II: it’s a beautiful looking toy. There’s a central raised and textured tentacle with two rows of “suckers” that tapers to a tongue-like point. The base of the toy is also decorated with swirly patterns and aquatic motifs.

Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II fantasy sex toy

It comes with a set of straps that you can use to attach the toy to a pillow, toy mount, partner’s leg, or any other suitable surface you can think of. The straps measure around 70cm or 2.5ft and are removeable for convenience when you’re not using them.

My Tentacle Grinder II is a gorgeous shade of turquoise. I think it’s “Strong Mint,” based on the colour guide. You can choose a solid colour, a fade of two colours, or a marbling effect. You can also allow the company to surprise you with one colour or a blend.

Optionally, you can choose for your Tentacle Grinder II to have a hole in the back where you can insert a bullet vibrator. There’s also an option to add a “Silky Smooth” upgrade, which is a finish made from durian tree nuts. I chose not to go for this because my vulva is pretty sensitive and I wasn’t sure this additive would agree with me.

Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II fantasy sex toy from the back

The Tentacle Grinder II measures 7.5″ in length and 5.5″ in width. The central tentacle is raised by 1.77″ at the highest point. It weighs in at a hefty 440g but, since this isn’t (typically) a toy you have to hold in your hand during use, its weight won’t be a problem for most people.

In Use

I knew I was going to love this toy the moment I looked at it. It’s got so many things I like: a raised section, soft and squishy silicone, and plenty of texturing.

Here’s what I didn’t expect: it is by far the closest a sex toy has ever come to mimicking cunnilingus for me. No, I didn’t see that coming either!

I thought that the highest point in the middle of the tentacle was going to be my favourite part of this toy. However, I soon realised that if I grind against it just right, the tongue-like tip of the tentacle flicks back and forth over my clit like… well, like a tongue. With plenty of lube, it’s a surprisingly good approximation of cunnilingus.

Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II from fantasy sex toys range

The orgasms I have from this toy are less like the orgasms I have from other grinders and more like the orgasms I have from a partner going down on me.

I always thought that, if a toy ever did actually get close to feeling like receiving oral sex, it would be a suction toy. Many claim to do this, though none have yet succeeded. I did not expect that it would be a grinder shaped like a tentacle. But there you have it – if I want something that kinda feels like a partner going down on me and I don’t have a willing partner available, this is what I’m reaching for.

The other great selling point of the Tentacle Grinder II is its height. With some lower grinders, I’ve found myself struggling to get into the right position or having to use a pillow or mount to bring the toy closer to my body. No such problems here. I can simply place it under me in a lying position and grind against it comfortably.

Tentacle Grinder II + Bullet Vibrator

Confession: the first couple of times I used this toy, I completely forgot to try it with the bullet vibrator. That’s because it is so damn good even without it. Still, I thought I’d better test it both with and without the vibrator to give you all the fullest possible review.

I opted for the premium bullet option, which is the Nu Sensuelle Bullet Point. This plastic bullet is waterproof, rechargeable, and has 10 constant speeds and 10 patterns. For its price-point (it costs just £35 to add one of these to your Uncover Creations order), this is a shockingly good bullet vibrator. It’s powerful and surprisingly rumbly! Of course, you can also use any bullet vibrator you already own, if you prefer.

Nu Sensuelle bullet point bullet vibrator

I wasn’t sure how well the Tentacle Grinder II would transmit the bullet’s vibrations given the thickness of its silicone. But it actually does so incredibly well and I can still get plenty of sensation from the bullet even through the thickest part of the grinder.

It is a shame the bullet isn’t a remote control one, because having to manually change the settings when you’re riding the toy can be quite annoying and fiddly. It also has one of those annoying one-button interfaces.

Overall, I’m glad I got the bullet with my Tentacle Grinder II as it provides some different stimulation options. But it’s also not strictly necessary because this toy performs so damn well on its own. Since I got it, I’ve used the vibrator less than half the times I’ve used the grinder.

Pro tip: make your life much easier by applying a bit of lube to the bullet before you insert it into the grinder. Trust me, it’ll go in and come out so much more quickly and easily if you do.

Verdict

At this point it doesn’t even matter that I’m not into tentacles for their own sake. Because I am so, so, so into this thing specifically! I do not say this lightly, because I have reviewed around 200 toys at this point and tried hundreds more: the Tentacle Grinder II is one of the best sex toys I have ever tried.

The basic Tentacle Grinder II begins at £60 and comes with a set of black straps. Optional customisations such as custom colours, different strap options, a vibrating bullet hole, an included vibrator, and the “silky smooth finish” come with additional costs.

Thanks to Uncover Creations for sending me the Tentacle Grinder II to review. Affiliate links appear in this post and all reviews are, as always, my own.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day #1: USB Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator

I’m baaaaaaaaaack!

Hey there folks. Yes, I’m back. I honestly wasn’t sure if I was going to continue sex blogging for a while. My health has taken a serious battering this year and I’m not fully back to “normal” yet, whatever normal is going to look like from now on. I’m taking it one day at a time.

But I did find that I missed sex blogging and talking to you all. So, after a long hiatus, I’m back. A couple of things are going to be changing around here, most notably that I’m going to be much less rigid with myself about my posting frequency.

I’d love to share content with you reliably on set days throughout the week, every week. I really would. But the reality is that I am neurodivergent, have a busy grad school and vanilla work schedule, and have unreliable physical and mental health. So I’m choosing kindness to myself and I’m going to write when I can, forgive myself when I can’t, and focus on work that pays (without compromising on my values and my ethical obligations to my readers, of course.)

If you’re still here, thank you for bearing with me.

Now let’s get on with the review, shall we?

Once again, my lovely pals at Lovehoney have sent me their sex toy advent calendar, this year created in partnership with Womanizer. And once again, I’m going to be opening a door a day and telling you about the products inside.

This kit is aimed at “couples”, and assumes one penis-owner and one vulva-owner. There are several other adult advent calendars in the range including 12 day toy calendars for different types of bodies and a 7 day lingerie calendar.

I’m going to try a slightly different format this year as I review this kit: giving you some basic product info, some pros and cons, and a quick final verdict on each product.

Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 Day 1: Bullet Vibrator

Gold bullet vibrator from Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022

Product Info

  • Material: ABS plastic
  • Colour: Shiny gold with a black Lovehoney heart insignia.
  • Body safe? Yes – ABS is non-porous and non-toxic.
  • Power: Rechargeable, cable included.
  • Speeds/patterns: 3 constant speeds, 7 patterns
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 3″ in length, 0.8″ in diameter.
  • Lube compatible: Yes, all kinds.
  • Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water or a 10% bleach solution.

Pros

  • Surprisingly powerful for its small size
  • Small enough to slide between bodies during penetrative sex other activities
  • Versatile and suitable for a wide range of body parts

Cons

  • A little more buzzy than I would like
  • Only one button, making it a little annoying to select the pattern you want

Verdict

A decent, basic bullet vibrator. Unlikely to satisfy serious power fans or those who really need rumbles, but otherwise perfectly serviceable and does what it says on the tin.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 2022 Couples’ Sex Toy Advent Calendar, which retails for £130 and contains £374.99 worth of products, to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going! US readers can buy it here.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #11: Mini G-Spot Vibrator

Update 04/03/22: this product is seasonal only and has been discontinued. Individual components may still be available.

Welcome back again for another installment of “Amy reviews Lovehoney’s “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar. Each day, I’m opening up a door and telling you guys about what’s inside. It’s been an interesting mixed bag so far, so let’s see what Day 11 has in store.

Door #11: Mini G-Spot Vibrator

Lovehoney sex toy advent calendar description of G-spot vibe

This is the first vibrating toy since Day 1’s bullet vibrator. Exciting! Let’s start with a few basic stats:

  • Material: ABS plastic
  • Colour: Black.
  • Body safe? Yes. ABS plastic is non-porous and non-toxic.
  • Power: 1 AA battery (not included).
  • Waterproof: No.
  • Size: 5″ in length, 1″ in diameter.
  • Lube compatible: Yes, all kinds.
  • Cleaning: Body-safe sterile wipe.

This plastic G-spot vibrator features a straight handle and curved, gently tapered tip for precision stimulation. If you prefer girthy toys or very deep stimulation, it won’t do much for you, but for basic vibrating G-spot action it’s perfectly serviceable.

I don’t love that it requires a disposable battery, partly for environmental reasons (rechargeable toys are so much more eco-friendly) and partly because having to hunt around for batteries before a wank session is super annoying. But to be fair, if anyone reads the small print on the advent calendar’s box, it does warn you that you’ll need a battery for one of the items. Inserting and changing the battery is easy. Simply unscrew the top and bottom halves of the toy, pop your battery in, and screw it back up again.

How to open the Lovehoney mini G-spot vibrator

The controls are a simple twist mechanism. Turn until the little arrow on the side points to “on” or “off”. This vibe has only one speed. It’s actually reasonable, power-wise, for a one-AA-battery basic vibe, though much buzzier than I prefer. Volume-wise, it’s not too bad, though it does make a slight “rattly” noise when I press it hard against my body.

If, like me, you find that internal vibrations don’t do much for you, this G-spot vibrator also works well as a clitoral toy. Use the side of the shaft for broad stimulation and the tip for more precision. Of course, it’s also good for penises, balls, and anywhere else where vibrations feel good. (Not butts, though – this toy is not anal safe).

The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar is available now and for a limited time. It retails for £120 but contains about £370 worth of stuff. You can get 10% off your purchase of this or any other items at Lovehoney by using my code “AFF-COFFKINK10” at checkout.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #1: Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator

Update 04/03/22: this product is seasonal only and has been discontinued. Individual components may still be available.

I’m so excited to have received the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar for couples! This treasure trove of sexy goodies comes with 24 numbered windows, each containing a sex toy, kink product, or other sexy item.

This kit is geared towards couples where one person has a penis and the other has a vulva, but many of the items are flexible and unisex. Mr CK and I are going to be opening one door at a time for the next 24 days and sharing a mini review each day, then I’ll publish an overall review of the whole set at the end.

Let’s dive in and see what’s behind the first door…

Door #1: Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator

Sex toy advent calendar for couples door 1

Today we’re looking at Door #1, which contained a small bullet vibrator. Here’s a quick rundown of the details:

  • Material: ABS plastic
  • Colour: Shiny red with a gold Lovehoney heart insignia.
  • Body safe? Yes – ABS is non-porous and non-toxic.
  • Power: Rechargeable.
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 3″ in length, 0.8″ in diameter.
  • Lube compatible: Yes, all kinds.
  • Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water or a 10% bleach solution.

As far as I can tell, this vibrator is the Lovehoney Glow Up Bullet Vibrator in a new colourway. This means its RRP is £24.99.

Lovehoney Glow-Up Bullet Vibrator from Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar

The vibe comes with a USB charging cable and you get around 60 minutes use on a full charge. It operates on a one-button interface located in the base, and offers three constant speeds and seven patterns. To switch it on, you have to hold down the button until the light flashes, then give it another quick press. Press to cycle through settings, then press and hold to turn the toy off.

Power-wise, I’m significantly more impressed than I expected to be! This toy packs a decent punch, given its small size and low price point. It sits midway along the buzz-to-rumble scale, offering strong and non-numbing vibrations though not quite hitting that deep, penetrating rumble that so many people love. It’s a little loud, so bear that in mind if you live in a shared space or need to keep the noise down.

The target market for this set is primarily people and couples without much experience of sex toys, perhaps just exploring or looking to start their collection, so I’m approaching this review series through that lens. This is a great bullet vibrator for beginners, powerful enough to hit the spot but compact, non-threatening, and easy to use.

Red bullet vibrator for couples from sex toy advent calendar

If you enjoy penetrative sex, this bullet is small enough to slide between bodies for extra clitoral stimulation. And remember that vibes aren’t just for clits! You can also use your bullet vibrator on the labia, nipples, penis, balls, perineum, or literally any other body part that feels good. (Don’t insert it anally, though – it’s not safe for that as it doesn’t have a flared base).

Bottom line: it’s body-safe. It can get me off reliably. And it’s small and light enough to throw in my bag for a playdate or weekend away.

Door #1 is a hit. Check back to see what’s behind Door #2 tomorrow…

The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar retails for £120, and you can get 10% off this or any other purchase at Lovehoney by using my code “AFF-COFFKINK10” at checkout. These calendars are limited in quantity, so don’t wait until December to get yours.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

[Toy Review] GFY Custom Vibrator

[Update: this product has been discontinued and the company has closed. I have removed dead links and left this post up for information.]

Sometimes I don’t know I need something until it is offered to me. One such thing recently was… a vibrator with my site logo on it! It’s such an obvious thing, given what I do, but it had simply never occured to me as a possibility before. But when the good folks at GFY Toy reached out and offered me a GFY custom vibrator, well, I immediately knew I needed it in my life.

GFY custom printed sex toys logo

Read on to learn how I got on… and to learn how you can enter to win your own custom sex toy!

Who Are GFY?

I’ll let them introduce themselves. In their words:

“Sometimes you’ve just got to ask yourself, what sort of person starts a company literally just to print people’s faces on vibrators? Well, that’s us. The heroes you never knew you needed.”

– GFY

GFY stands for – yeah, you guessed it – Go Fuck Yourself. Which is, honestly, a truly hilarious name for a company that makes custom vibrators. Well played, folks. They claim to be the first company in the world making custom-printed vibes, and they make a donation to Cancer Research for every vibe sold.

You can send them a picture and they’ll use it as a basis for a toy, or you can use their nifty online design tool to create your own. They’ll print up your vibrator and ship it to you quickly and discreetly. That’s it!

Here’s how mine looks:

Coffee and Kink GFY custom vibrator

GFY custom vibrator with coffee cups

Cute, no? The printing is clear and has not started to rub off even though I have washed the toy several times.

If you design your own, a GFY custom vibrator costs £19.99. If they design it for you, it’s £24.99.

What’s it Like as a Vibrator?

The GFY custom vibrator is in the classic bullet vibrator shape and measures 5″ in length and 1″ in diameter at the widest point. It tapers to a rounded tip and is suitable for both vaginal and clitoral use (don’t use it anally, though, as it doesn’t have a flared base). The GFY vibe is made of hard ABS plastic, which is non-porous, body-safe, and compatible with all varieties of lube.

Custom printed vibrator with Coffee and Kink logo

The single button interface is located in the base and is easy to press. You use this to switch the toy on, cycle through the patterns, and switch it off again. The GFY vibrator offers ten settings in total: two constant vibration speeds and eight patterns.

The power is pretty mediocre, which is what you’d expect from a basic bullet vibe that costs under £25. I’ve actually tried far worse at this price point, though – it’s not excessively buzzy and the hard plastic conducts the vibrations reasonably well.

Bullet vibrator with custom printing and button in base

If you prefer gentle to middling strength vibes, the GFY custom vibrator is a solid option. If you’re a Power Queen (or any other form of Power Royalty!) like me, though, this vibe is unlikely to hit the spot.

You’ll need one AA battery for your GFY vibe, which is handily included. I’ve had about 2 hours’ testing time out of mine so far and it’s still going strong!

Verdict

Honestly, I think my GFY toy is going to be a desk ornament rather than a vibrator I reach for to get off. It’s just not really powerful enough to become a nightstand staple for me. But that’s okay, because it makes me smile every time I look at it.

Are you looking for playful gag gift ideas for your partner, a joke present for your bestie, souvenirs for your hen party, or even promotional items if you work in the adult industry? If so, a GFY vibrator is a fun and different option!

Win a GFY Custom Vibrator

We’ve just launched the fundraising campaigns for Smutathon 2021, the 12 hour charity writing marathon that I founded back in 2017. This year’s event takes place on Saturday 6 November. We will be supporting Trans Lifeline in the US and Gendered Intelligence in the UK. These trans-led charities are dedicated to supporting the transgender community, which is so important in this time of rampant transphobia.

As a token of our appreciation, everyone who donates at least £10 between now and midnight on November 6th will be entered into a prize draw. We have a bunch of amazing things to give away, including a GFY custom vibrator with your choice of design, plus erotica anthologies, sex toys, event tickets, and much more! Each £10 gets you an entry, so if you donate £100 you’ll get ten entries.

Thanks to GFY Toy for sending me this custom vibrator in exchange for an honest review, as well as for their support of Smutathon 2021! All views, as always, are mine.