Tag: bondage and restraint

Several BDSM items including leather straps, nipple clamps, and a blindfold on a red background. A length of black rope forms a heart. Text in the middle of the heart reads: A Beginners' Guide to BDSM wearables

A Beginners’ Guide to BDSM Wearables: 7 Types You Should Know

Published on by Amy

When you think of BDSM gear, what comes to mind? You probably thought of ropes, cuffs and other restraints, impact toys such as floggers and paddles, or maybe specialist tools like electro-play toys, chastity devices, or pinwheels. But what about collars, BDSM hoods, gags, and other kinky wearables? BDSM wear is anything you put on your body that’s in some way related to a kink, fetish, or kinky relationship.

There are, of course, tonnes of amazing BDSM and kink activities you can do without any gear or costumes at all. But for some people, slipping on a particular item or piece of clothing (or putting it on a partner) can help them get into, and maintain, the desired headspace for kinky play.

Whether you wear them all the time, just during play, or as part of a kink party outfit, wearables can mark a transition between the vanilla and kink worlds, help to signify your role outwardly to others, or simply make you feel more fully yourself.

These are seven types of BDSM wearables you should know about.

Collars

Collars are perhaps the ultimate BDSM wearable. In the traditional sense, a collar is something you wear around your neck, generally to signify that you’re a submissive in some kind of BDSM dynamic. Materials such as leather, faux leather, suede, and even metal are common. Collars can be obvious or much more subtle, resembling an ordinary necklace. Some collars may not even be collars in the literal sense; I’ve seen people use things like rings, bracelets, or even tattoos as their collars.

Collars can mean all sorts of things. For some people, they’re akin to a wedding ring, signifying a lifelong commitment. To others, they can signify when they’re “in” or “out” of scene space. For example, I have a collar my nesting partner bought for me, and I wear it when I’m in a submissive role during play or at an event. Some people see collars as intensely meaningful, others as nothing more that tools or fashion statements. There’s no right or wrong here; what matters is what they mean to you and your partner(s) if applicable.

By the way: you can also self-collar whether you’re in a relationship or not. I have a collar I bought for myself and when I wear it, it reminds me that my body, mind, heart and choices belong to me and that I am in charge of my life.

BDSM Hoods and Other Sensory Deprivation Wear

Sensory deprivation refers to removing one or more of the senses during play. Some find this can heighten other senses. Others say it quiets the mind, helps them get more into their submissive headspace, or reinforces a sense of helplessness and vulnerability.

Everything from blindfolds and earplugs to full sensory deprivation BDSM hoods and mummification sacks come under the category of sensory deprivation wearables.

Play of this type can be surprisingly intense, so go slowly if you’re new to exploring it. It can also cut off usual avenues of communication, such as eye contact, facial expressions, or auditory clues. Make sure you establish alternative check-ins and safe signals before you start.

Harnesses

Harnesses are wearables made up of a series of straps. They’re commonly made from leather or a faux-leather material, but silicone harnesses are also becoming increasingly popular.

A harness can be decorative, functional, or a mixture of both. They can be full-body or cover just one area, such as the chest, legs, or hands. Some people wear them purely for the aesthetic value, while others enjoy the restrictive sensation some harnesses can offer. They can also act as a symbol of submission or dominance, or as a useful set of anchor points to assist in playing with restraint.

Gags and Muzzles

Gags and muzzles limit or restrict the speech and sounds of the wearer. Many people find this sexy in the context of power exchange. If you’re someone who tends to be loud when you’re playing, they can also be a good way to have fun without scaring the neighbours!

Gags and muzzles can range from simple ball or bit gags to more complex designs that hold the mouth open, all the way up to full-head lockable devices.

If you’re playing with gags, always ensure you adopt a safe signal in place of a safeword in case the submissive needs to stop. You should also take extra care to ensure breathing isn’t restricted.

Pet Play Gear

Pet players are people who enjoy taking on the persona or characteristics associated with an animal during play or as part of a kink relationship. Puppies, kittens, ponies, foxes, cows, and pigs are just some of the animal personas you might see in pet play spaces. Mythical creatures, such as unicorns and dragons, may also come out to play in these spaces.

Pet play BDSM wear includes anything that helps pet players get more into their role and headspace. Think a puppy-themed BDSM hood, a tail, a cat collar with a bell on it, pony ears, and so on.

It’s important to note that pet play is about roleplaying, archetypes, and power dynamics between consenting adult humans. It has nothing to do with actual animals or animal abuse.

Fetish Fabrics

Strictly speaking, almost any fabric can be a “fetish fabric” since the core definition of a fetish is simply deriving sexual arousal from something that is an ordinarily non-sexual object or body part. However, the fabrics and materials most commonly associated with fetishism are things like rubber, PVC, latex, and leather. These fabrics can be used for clothes, accessories, BDSM hoods or blindfolds, and more.

You might be aroused by some aspect of these fabrics themselves, like the feel of rubber or the smell of leather, or by some aspect of how it feels to wear them, such as the constricting nature of latex. Or both! Or neither! You might just like how they look and how you feel in them. I don’t have any particular fabric fetishes, but I still adore my catsuit.

Costumes

If immersive kinky roleplay is your thing, you might get more into your role with costumes. This can be anything from a simple accessory like a hat, through to elaborate get-ups worthy of your local am-dram troupe. Doctors and nurses, teachers, schoolgirls, French maids and Playboy-style bunnies are some of the options you’ll commonly find in sex shops, but the sky’s the limit when it comes to your imagination.

Thanks to Juliet Toys for sponsoring this post. Check out their kink collection of toys and BDSM wear which includes collars, impact toys, BDSM hoods, and much more. All writing and opinions are my own.

Close-up on a pair of bondage handcuffs for a post on medical restraints sponsored by Klinik Bondage

[Guest Post] Restraints for Medical Kink: How and Why Do People Use Them in BDSM? by Lorenz Engel

Published on by Amy

One of the best things about my job? Learning about niche kinks and why people are into the things they’re into. That’s why I’m pleased to be hosting this guest post on medical kink/fetish from Lorenz (he/him), the founder of Klinik Bondage. In it, he shares his unique perspective on medical restraints and the relationship between functionality and desire.

Amy x

Restraints for Medical Kink: How and Why Do People Use Them in BDSM? by Lorenz Engel of Klinik Bondage

Medical kink is a form of erotic roleplay in which participants consensually explore scenarios inspired by clinical or hospital environments. This can include elements like physical exams, medical restraints, latex gloves, or clinical tools—often paired with a strong power dynamic, vulnerability, or the taboo of clinical authority. 

For many, the appeal of this fetish lies in the psychological intensity: the blend of trust, control, and intimacy that comes from simulated “treatment.” Some also enjoy the aesthetic of medical settings, while others find the structure and formality arousing. 

Though comprehensive statistics are limited, the information we do have suggests that medical play is a niche but significant interest in the BDSM community. For example, a 2015 Fetlife user survey by Dr. Brad Sagarin found that around 20% of respondents had engaged in some form of medical fetish play, with many citing its psychological edge and ritualistic nature as central to its appeal.

It is important to note that people with a medical kink do not typically find actual medical treatments arousing. This is an area where fantasy and reality sharply diverge. 

Use of Restraints in Medical Kinks 

People who have a medical kink or fetish sometimes use restraints to enhance the pleasure and power dynamics of these scenarios. For many players, restraints play an integral role in the kink. 

Restraints such as leather cuffs, straps, or handcuffs can be used in role-playing scenarios where the restrained partner submits to the dominant one. The feeling of complete immobilization can make physical sensations more intense and create a more immersive psychological experience. 

As with everything in BDSM and sex, medical play is based on mutual consent. Both/all partners must agree on boundaries, limits, and what activities are and are not on the table. Safewords and clear communication are essential. 

How A Small BDSM Brand is Reinventing This Kink

For years, those interested in medical kink had limited options, often resorting to repurposed hospital equipment or makeshift solutions. However, our small German brand Klinik Bondage has recognized the unique needs of the BDSM community and created purpose-built, high-quality gear for medical players.

At KlinikBondage® we like to think that these key innovations set our products apart:

  • Long-Term Comfort: The restraints are designed for extended wear, with materials that are soft at key pressure points. This prevents discomfort while maintaining immobilization for the submissive partner. 
  • Magnetic Locking System: Klinik Bondage incorporates powerful magnetic locks in our BDSM medical restraints, making them both secure and easy to release with specialized keys. These locks provide an added layer of control, ensuring that only the keyholder can grant freedom. For safety, we strongly recommend always keeping a spare key within reach and never leaving a bound person unattended. Consent, care, and risk mitigation are the foundation of every scene.
  • Customizable Bed Restraints: Klinik Bondage offers a variety of bed restraints that can be adapted to different bed sizes and setups, ensuring a perfect fit for any body and any scene.
  • Premium Materials: Made from high-quality and skin-friendly bio-cotton, our restraints are both durable and washable, making them ideal for long-term play without compromising hygiene or comfort. 

More Than Just a Bed Restraint

While most people associate medical kink restraints with beds, their application in BDSM goes far beyond that. Klinik Bondage offers wrist and ankle cuffs, body harnesses and much more, designed for long-term immobilization, creating a full-body experience that emphasizes helplessness. 

There’s also an increasing interest in self-bondage within medical-themed play. Devices like frost locks—time-release mechanisms using melting ice—allow solo players to experience prolonged immobilization while maintaining an element of safety. The psychological challenge of waiting for release can intensify the experience, adding layers of anticipation and mental endurance.

A word of warning here: solo bondage is a form of edge play and can be dangerous. Never restrain yourself without easy access to a quick-release mechanism for emergencies and a means of calling for help if you need it. And never, ever, ever put any kind of restraint around your neck or do anything to restrict your breathing. 

Exploring the Depths of Control

Medical kink and restraint play in BDSM is not just about physical immobilization—it’s a journey into mental surrender. The feeling of being securely bound in a system designed for absolute stillness can be both calming and intensely erotic. Whether used for roleplay, sensory deprivation, or long-term confinement, medical restraints offer a structured and immersive way to explore deep levels of submission and control. 

More than just a fetish, medical restraints bring a uniquely intense experience of restriction and immobilization to your kinky scenes. 

About the Writer

Lorenz Engel is the founder of Klinik Bondage, a German BDSM brand redefining modern fetish aesthetics. With a background in fiber engineering and a deep passion for the kinky community, he’s been pushing the boundaries of fetish aesthetics since 2020.

Heads up: this post contains sponsored links. All content and views are the writer’s own!

Header image for a post on home dungeon design: a bondage bed with black leather handcuffs on chains and a St Andrews cross on the wall behind

Bondage Bed, Suspension Points, and More: 8 Things I’d Want in My Dream Home Dungeon

Published on by Amy

Did you see that Netflix series How to Build a Sex Room? Like millions of other kinksters, I watched it and it got me thinking about what my own “sex room” might look like. In a world where I had a much bigger house than I do and an unlimited interior design budget, one of the first things I’d do would be to construct a badass playroom or home dungeon. And of course, from a bondage bed and sex swing to suspension points and toy storage solutions, I’ve put a lot of thought into this concept and what I’d want to include in my dungeon.

It goes without saying that you don’t need tonnes of amazing kit to do BDSM. Your first and best tool in constructing scenes is your imagination. But one of the reasons I enjoy going to clubs and public play spaces is to use the kit I don’t have access to at home. I suspect the same is true for a lot of kinksters who play at clubs, dungeons and parties.

So just for fun, let’s do a little kink-meets-interior-design. If I could build my dream home dungeon, what would I put in it?

Hard Points for Suspension and More

Suspension points are absolutely essential if you want to do any kind of shibari or bondage that includes someone coming off the ground. You can get portable suspension frames (I actually have one in bits in my spare room right now!) but properly ceiling-mounted hard points are safer, more space-efficient, and less effort to set up. I’d definitely install one in my home dungeon.

Suspension points (AKA hard points) aren’t just for rope, either. You can also use them for other things, such as mounting a sex swing.

Speaking of which…

A Sex Swing

Sex swings are so versatile and a great alternative to beds for a home dungeon with limited space. They allow you to get into all kinds of positions safely and comfortably that would not otherwise be possible. They’re great for trying out different positions for penetrative sex (either with a bio-cock or a strap-on) but you can also use them for oral sex, kink scenarios, and more.

I actually own a door-mounted sex swing, but it has never come out of its packaging for the simple reason that I do not trust the structural integrity of my very old house’s doors that much. It feels like a recipe for injury. So a proper sex swing that I could mount on safe, load-rated hard points would be amazing.

A Bondage Bed: The Ultimate Home Dungeon Sex Accessory

The awesome thing about bondage beds is they’re not just one thing. Despite the name, a bondage bed in your home dungeon can also be a table or flat surface, a restraint rack, an alternative to a St Andrews cross for standing impact play, a surface for sex, and much more. You can even use it in conjunction with other items of dungeon furniture to create just about anything your kinky heart desires. For example, why not add a toy mount or a wand harness, which can hold a toy in place against the bottom’s body while keeping the top’s hands free to do other things?

The possibilities are limited only by your imagination, your and your partner’s boundaries, and the laws of physics. A good bondage bed will also be able to accommodate all body types, no matter your size or weight.

I’d love a customisable bondage bed for my home dungeon. I think I’d really enjoy getting cuffed to it for a flogging, or using it with the toy mount for edging and denial scenes. Given the size, it would also be ideal for group scenes. I think it would be super fun to cuff two submissives to it in a face to face position, making them each watch what’s happening to the other one. Exhibitionism, voyeurism, anticipation, and a little light fear play all in one… fun, no?

A Spanking Bench

The humble spanking bench always seems to be one of the most-used bits of kit whenever I go to a dungeon or play party. A spanking bench allows the bottom to hold a bent-over position for impact play more easily. It can help the bottom to stay comfortable and prevent them moving around too much, give the top a clear spot to aim for, and enhance feelings of vulnerability and humiliation if you’re into that.

My ideal spanking bench would be one of those lovely wooden, leather-padded ones that comes with built-in restraints for the wrists, ankles, and upper body.

A Bondage Wheel

One of my favourite local dungeons has one of these, and I absolutely love it. It’s a padded, wall-mounted wheel with restraints to strap a person to in an upright position. You can then tilt it in any direction, or even spin it all the way around.

Bondage wheels are fun for all kinds of reasons. You can immobilise your partner and move them around at will to try out different activities or reach different parts of their body. If disorientation is something you like to play with, combining a bondage wheel with sensory deprivation play can create a very intense experience.

They’re also a fun way to experiment with inversion (being upside down) in a way that you can get out of in seconds if you need to.

Practical, Wall-Mounted Home Dungeon Toy Storage Solutions

When designing the perfect kinky play space, practicality is at least as important as aesthetics. To that end, I’d make use of wall-mounted toy storage solutions.

I have to credit sex and mental health writer JoEllen Notte for the genius idea of using a wall-mounted wine rack to store wand vibrators. I’d love to display my wands this way in my hypothetical home dungeon! (JoEllen is also the person who gave me the idea of repurposing door-hanging shoe holders with multiple pockets, which I now use to store both my sex toys and my hair and beauty products!)

I’d also love to have some beautiful wooden or metal hooks on the walls to store my floggers, paddles, and other large impact toys as well as coils of rope and cuff sets.

Home Dungeon Style: Erotic Art & Decor

I have a growing collection of erotic art in my office and bedroom, from shibari-themed embroidery to a sapphic BDSM print to an incense holder shaped like a vulva. I’d love to expand this collection a lot more, and I feel like my home dungeon would be the perfect place to show this off. My dream would be to invest in commissioning my favourite kinky and sex-positive artists to create some custom work for the space.

As far as colour schemes, I’m thinking dark wood furniture and splashes of dark plum purple and rich teal green. Less “red room of pain” and more “high-end hotel suite… but make it kinky.”

Aftercare Corner

Aftercare is one of the most crucial parts of a good kink scene. Good aftercare helps the players to ground, regroup, and connect to each other again as equal humans after intense play. It can also help to reduce sub drop/Top drop. My dungeon would have a cosy aftercare corner with a comfortable sofa, warm blankets, and maybe a mini-fridge well stocked with water and snacks for a post-play pick-me-up.

FYI: this post was sponsored. All views and writing are, as always, my own.

UPKO remote control wand vibrator harness combo header image feauring a woman's legs in black high heels

[Toy Review] UPKO Remote Control Wand Vibrator Harness Combo

Published on by Amy

There are a lot of so-called hands-free vibrators on the market, from wearables to knicker vibrators and more. However, far fewer of them are actually hands-free in any meaningful sense. Most of them require at least some manual input to keep them in place. Since the main selling point of these toys is that they enable you to use your hands to do other things while using them, it’s always disappointing when they don’t work as advertised. As such, I am continuously on the hunt for hands-free toys that really are hands-free. UPKO kindly sent me their remote control wand vibrator and thigh harness combo to review.

UPKO Remote Control Wand Vibrator and Vibrator Harness

The UPKO Remote Control Wand Vibrator measures 12″ in length. Both the handle and the head are coated in body-safe silicone. It weighs in at a fairly heavy 380g.

UPKO remote control wand vibrator

The wand is IPX6 waterproof which means it should not be submerged. It is USB rechargeable and you’ll get around 90 minutes runtime from a 2 hour charge. Included is a remote control which works from a range of up to 10 metres.

The other part of the kit Upko sent me to review is a thigh vibrator harness. This is made of nylon and consists of two thick black bands decorated with gold coloured metal hardware and an embroidered UPKO insignia. The harness fastens with velcro straps and is adjustable up to around 22″ in the upper band and 18″ in the lower. Each band features a smaller strap that sits on the inside of the leg and is designed to hold the wand in place against the genitals.

UPKO wand vibrator harness

Bafflingly, the marketing copy for this set includes the phrase “wearing it in public triggers a strong sense of embarrassment.” Which isn’t technically untrue, I’m sure, but… wearing this in public would also trigger a strong sense of getting arrested for public indecency. It’s not a little insertable or knicker vibe, it’s a giant fuckoff wand. There is no universe in which you’re using this in public.

With that said, let’s look at the pros and cons of this set.

UPKO Wand Vibrator & Harness Kit Review: What I Liked

UPKO wand vibrator and vibrator harness combo box

  • It arrived beautifully packaged in a smart and sturdy branded box
  • There are six settings—two constant vibration speeds and four patterns—and dual controls so you can scroll through them in either direction.
  • The motor has a decent amount of power behind it (not the rumbliness I’d prefer, though—see below.)
  • The flexible neck makes it easy to turn and position the head whatever way works best for your body.
  • The vibrator harness holds the wand in place effectively. After a little experimenting with positions and the tightness of the straps, I was able to enjoy this toy truly hands-free.
  • The harness is also pretty comfortable to wear.
  • The texturing on the wand’s head adds to the clitoral stimulation it provides.
  • The hands-free nature of this set presents some intriguing—and kinky—possibilities. Why not combine it with other bondage fun such as cuffs or shibari, or use it for orgasm control or forced orgasm play?
  • The vibrator is fairly quiet even on its top setting, clocking in at under 55db.
  • The buttons are easy to press and satisfyingly clicky.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

  • I like the toys I review to be pretty, and this Upko wand vibrator’s aesthetic is weird and dull. Why is it so grey? I suspect they were going for an elegant and classy vibe but it just doesn’t work for me.
  • The vibrations might be powerful, but they’re also pretty buzzy. I could get an orgasm out of this thing but it required a couple of pauses mid-session because it was starting to numb me out.
  • The harness is not as size-inclusive as it could be. The upper band is adjustable up to around 22″ in circumference but it would be trivial to add longer straps to make it suitable for bigger bodies.
  • The + and – buttons blend in with the surrounding silicone. Making them a different colour, more pronounced, or light-up would make them easier to use particularly in low light.

Upko Wand Vibrator & Harness Review: Verdict

This is not a bad kit for the price. You get a body-safe wand vibrator with a few different settings and a harness for a relatively affordable $129 (at the time of writing, on sale and down to $99.)

Ultimately, the wand itself is only mediocre and I’m unlikely to reach for it again. The harness, though, I do like. I’ll probably be trying it with other wand vibrators in my collection.

Thanks to UPKO for sending me this vibrator and harness kit to review. As always, views and writing are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

BDSM starter kit items including cuffs, flogger, and ball gag on a purple background

What is a BDSM Starter Kit and How Can It Help You Explore Kink?

Published on by Amy1 Comment

“I’d love to start exploring BDSM, but all the gear is so expensive!” is a complaint I hear from new and curious kinksters all the time. “I don’t even know what I like yet, how can I get started without dropping hundreds of pounds on things I might not enjoy?” And I hear you, budget-conscious newbie. This is where a bondage or BDSM starter kit can help you.

Perhaps you’ve perused your local fetish market and picked up artisan floggers, custom collars, hand-dyed natural fiber ropes, or vintage violet wands, then shuddered at the price tags. I absolutely love beautiful, unique, one-of-a-kind kink items and I believe we should all be supporting our favourite indie creators within the community. Once you know you enjoy impact play, for example, that buttery soft leather flogger with a hand-turned handle might be a worthwhile investment that will serve you well for many years.

But when you’re just starting out, that can be a prohibitive amount of money to drop on a “well, that might be fun…” Budget constraints and curiosity sometimes lead new kinksters to improvise. Some pervertables are fine, of course, but in other cases using household items for sex and kink can be dangerous.

What is a BDSM Starter Kit or Bondage Kit for Beginners?

A BDSM starter kit might also be called a “bondage kit.” In short, it’s a collection of kink items bundled together in a package designed to help you explore.

Some of the items you might find in a beginners’ BDSM or bondage kit include:

  • Impact toys such as floggers, crops, or paddles
  • Restraints such as handcuffs, wrist ties, or bondage tape
  • Rope
  • Gags
  • Blindfolds
  • Collars and/or leashes
  • Clamps and clips (e.g. for nipples)
  • Sensation play items such as strokers or ticklers
  • Sex toys such as vibrators, cock rings, dildos, or strap-ons
  • Wax play candles
  • …and more!

Every BDSM starter kit is slightly different. You’ll need to choose the best one for you depending on your needs, budget, and interests.

How Can a Beginners’ Bondage Kit Help You to Explore?

What is it that interests you about bondage, kink, or BDSM?

If I asked this question to ten different newcomers to the world of kink, I would probably get ten very different answers. That’s because BDSM is a vast and varied world, encompassing all kinds of activities from impact play to power exchange, shibari to sensation play, and so much more.

This vastness is exciting, but can also be overwhelming and confusing. Investing in a BDSM starter kit can be a great place to start for several reasons.

Variety Without the Price-Tag

A kit allows you to try several different things at an affordable price. Perhaps you think you might be into pain, but you also fancy the idea of getting tied up… ooh, and that “wax play” thing sounds exciting, too! A good BDSM starter kit gives you an entry point for several different kinks.

This way, when you find something you like, you can explore it further. And if you find something isn’t for you, then you’ve learned something valuable about your desires without having spent a lot of money on a toy that will languish in the back of the bedroom closet.

Easy and Convenient

A beginners’ bondage kit or BDSM kit takes the guesswork out of kinky shopping. When you’re new, you don’t always know what you don’t know, and trying to buy toys can be confusing at best. A kit gives you an easy, one-stop place to get started.

Stay Safe While Exploring with a BDSM Starter Kit

As I touched on above, improvising your kinky toys can be dangerous. Spanking your partner with a wooden spoon is likely fine, but did you know that tying someone up with a silk scarf is actually much less safe than using proper bondage rope?

Bondage kits sold by reputable retailers include products specially designed for kinky play that will help you to stay safe as long as you observe basic precautions and practice RACK (that’s Risk Aware Consensual Kink, FYI.)

Get Inspired

It’s a cliché, but a truism, that the brain is the body’s biggest and most important sexual organ. The real magic of BDSM isn’t just the feel of a flogger across your back or cuffs tightening around your wrists, but what’s happening in your mind – and in your dynamic with your partner(s) – as those things happen.

Your BDSM kit might contain items you’ve never thought to use before, and this can spark all kinds of ideas, fantasies, and inspiration.

Choose the Best BDSM Starter Kit for You

Ready to dive in? Here are a few things you’ll want to take into consideration in choosing the best bondage kit for you.

Budget

A BDSM starter kit can cost you under £20 for the most basic kit, up to £150 or more for a comprehensive kit with all the bells and whistles.

Interests

Think about the aspects of kink that interest you the most, and prioritise. If your primary interest is in restraint, you’ll want a kit that includes ropes and/or cuffs. If you’re more interested in pain, choose a kit that comes with paddles, floggers, or crops.

Aesthetic

Yes, it matters! BDSM is a very personal thing, and different aesthetics resonate with different people. If you’re after a darker, more atmospheric mood, an all-black set might suit you. If, on the other hand, you prefer a more colourful and playful feel, you might like reds, pinks or purples. Then there are completely offbeat options!

This post was kindly sponsored by Whipple Tickle. You can shop bondage kits as well as sex toys, lingerie, kink gear, and more at their site. All views and writing are, as always, mine.

Liebe Seele Fairy Collection review header

[Kink Product Review] Liebe Seele Fairy Collection

Published on by Amy

Something that often bugs me about kink and BDSM is the way that the aesthetic is, broadly speaking, so damn similar everywhere you look. There’s nothing wrong with black leather cuffs or PVC catsuits or red and black colourways, of course, but it does all get a bit samey after a while. That’s why I’m so drawn to BDSM products that offer something a little bit different, such as the Liebe Seele Fairy collection.

As a femme with a love of brights, pastels, and fun colours, I don’t always want my BDSM vibe to be dark and serious. Sometimes I want it to be pretty, pastel, and fun! That’s what these items represent.

Liebe Seele Fairy BDSM Collection

Liebe Seele is a Japanese brand selling quality leather BDSM gear, sex toys, fetishwear, and more. Fun fact: “Liebe Seele” translates to “dear soul.”

Their “Fairy” collection is a range of 5 products: wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs, blindfold, collar and leash, and ball gag. Each item is available in either pink and white or green and white. I received the blindfold and ankle cuffs in green, and the collar/leash and wrist cuffs in pink (no ball gag because I don’t use them.)

Liebe Seele Fairy bdsm collection in pink
Liebe Seele Fairy bdsm collection in green

All of the products are handcrafted in real leather, and some have gold or bronze-coloured metal accents such as buckles and fastenings

General First Impressions

My Liebe Seele products arrived beautifully packaged. Each item comes in a sturdy box and is sealed with an inner wrap and branded sticker. The presentation gets absolute top marks. I will say there’s quite a lot of unnecessary single-use plastic, though, so I would like to see that go.

Liebe Seele leather handcuffs for BDSM in their box

Liebe Seele bondage gear inner packaging

At first glance, the leather looks and feels of high quality. It’s lovely and soft, and has that beautiful unique leather smell.

Let’s look at each of the items in turn.

Liebe Seele Blindfold

A blindfold is one of the first basic BDSM items I recommend people get when they’re building a toybag. These versatile toys can be great for sensory deprivation, for getting into a headspace and switching your mind off, or for playing out all kinds of fantasies.

Liebe Seele green leather blindfold for BDSM

The Liebe Seele fairy blindfold has 9 holes, making it highly adjustable and wearable by just about anyone. It’s comfortable to wear, particularly after a couple of uses once the leather is starting to wear in. I particularly love getting a nose full of leather smell – a highly erotic scent to me, because I might be a vegetarian but I am also a giant hypocrite – when I’m wearing it.

It comes with a branded drawstring storage bag.

If I have a criticism of this blindfold, it’s that the actual mask part is slightly too small. When it’s on, it still lets a good amount of light in. Making it just half an inch wider over each eye would likely solve this problem.

The Liebe Seele Fairy Blindfold retails for £24/$28.95.

Liebe Seele Wrist Cuffs

The Liebe Seele wrist cuffs have five holes to fit different wrist sizes. I have fairly small wrists and I find them most comfortable on the fourth setting (i.e. the second tightest.)

Liebe Seele leather handcuffs for BDSM

These cuffs are so, so comfy to wear! The leather is soft and supple immediately, and only gets more so as you wear it in. They feel sturdy and secure, but also sensual and sexy. Each cuff has a small D-ring and they come with a separate double-ended clip chain, allowing you to fasten the wearer’s hands together if you want to.

No notes. A near perfect set of handcuffs for BDSM.

The Liebe Seele Fairy Wrist Cuffs retail for £47/$57.95.

Liebe Seele Ankle Cuffs

Like the wrist cuffs, the Liebe Seele ankle cuffs come with a D-ring on each cuff and a detachable double-ended clip chain. You can clip the ankles together… or combine them with the wrist cuffs for a basic hogtie position. (Read up on how to do this safely before you start!)

Liebe Seele green leather ankle cuffs for BDSM

Again, the cuffs are ultra soft and beautifully made. They feel sturdy enough for harder play, in that I can pull against them without worrying that they’re going to break!

They have 7 hole settings for different sizing, and I personally find the middle one the most comfortable.

The Liebe Seele Fairy Ankle Cuffs retail for £49/$59.95.

Liebe Seele BDSM Collar and Leash

Collars are hugely personal and can mean many different things. Whether you’re choosing one that you’ll just wear in a scene for fun, or one that you’ll wear as a symbol of a committed D/s relationship, it’s important to choose one[*] that feels like “you.” While I’m not sure the Liebe Seele Collar is really me, it is objectively an absolutely gorgeous piece even so.

Liebe Seele pink leather collar for BDSM, BDSM collar and leash

This collar has 9 different sizing settings. Collars shouldn’t be fastened too tight – as a rule of thumb, you should be able to slide two fingers between the collar and the neck with minimal difficulty. Its 3 D-rings offer a variety of play and restraint options (as with anything involving the neck, do your research and be VERY careful. Never do anything that may restrict the wearer’s breathing.) The accompanying leash is completely detachable, so you can use them either separately or together.

It’s comfortable to wear and soft enough that I could happily wear it all evening for a party or scene.

The Liebe Seele Collar and Leash Set retails for £46/$55.95.

[*] Or several. I think I own about 10 collars at this point that I wear in various contexts and with varying degrees of regularity.

Verdict

Gorgeous! I’m obsessed. The Liebe Seele Fairy BDSM collection pieces are such fantastic quality and, if properly cared for, will last for many years. They’re functional as well as aesthetically beautiful.

These pieces are also super affordable for the quality. You can get the full set (everything I’ve reviewed here plus the gag) for under $250/£200, or you can mix and match to get the pieces you want in your choice of colour.

Use code Amy15 to get 15% off your entire Liebe Seele purchase!

Thanks to Liebe Seele for sending me these items to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views are, as always, mine.

Header image for a post on kink with sex toys

How to Make Sex Toy Use More Kinky

Published on by Amy

Given that I’ve somehow built an entire career out of talking about them (I know, it’s still totally bonkers to me too!) it will come as no surprise that I love both sex toys and kink a whole bunch. But what about all the fun ways you can combine them? Using sex toys isn’t necessarily a kinky activity in itself though, as with anything else, what makes an activity “kinky” is mostly in your mindset around it anyway. Someone’s vanilla is someone else’s edge play. One person’s hardcore BDSM is another person’s average Friday night.

Whether you’re a kinkster who loves using toys or a toy aficionado who wants to bring a little more kink into your bedroom, why not try some of these fun strategies to kink up your sex toy use?

Play Kinky Edging and Denial Games with Sex Toys

The reason most people use sex toys? Because toys get them off. Often because toys make them come faster, harder, or more easily than other types of stimulation. But what if you kinda get off on not getting off? Well, sex toys are amazing for playing kinky edging and orgasm denial games.

You can do this with a partner or by yourself. Simply use your favourite vibrator or masturbator (or have your partner use it on you), get close to orgasm, and then… stop.

From here, you have a few options. You can edge as many times as you like and then cum. You can edge as many times as you like and then not cum, allowing that delicious sexual tension and frustration to build. Or you can ruin your orgasm by removing stimulation the second you tip over the edge. Many sexual masochists find ruined orgasms exquisitely painful.

Toys and Bondage

Do you like getting a little tied up or tying your partner up? Sex toys can be a super fun addition to bondage—any kinky activity involving restraining someone or being restrained. Bondage can range from something as simple as immobilising your partner and using toys on them, to complex predicament ties or rope harnesses designed to hold sex toys in place. I find this type of play pairs particularly well with forced orgasms (more on that in a minute.)

You can even play with toys and bondage by yourself. Self-bondage (AKA solo bondage and self-tying) is very popular and you can find tutorials online to help you learn how to do it.

Always follow safety protocols: keep a cutting tool for rope or the keys for any locking restraints within reach, keep your phone within reach in case you need to call for help should something go wrong, and never put rope or restraints around your or your partner’s neck. (Not so fun fact: the overwhelming majority of kink-related deaths are attributed to breath restriction, and autoerotic asphyxiation in particular. Please just don’t go there.)

Forced Orgasm

A forced orgasm is when a consenting person is “made” to cum in a way that may be beyond their physical control. It can work particularly well for those who are multi-orgasmic or for those who find continued stimulation after the point of orgasm painful or uncomfortable in an enjoyable way.

For some people, the kink lies in trying to resist the climax until their body succumbs to the sensation. For others, the hot part is being made to cum repeatedly until they physically (or psychologically) cannot any longer.

Toys are great for forced orgasm play because they can create sensations more intense and overwhelming than bodies can typically produce by themselves. I find that wand vibrators are particularly perfect for forced orgasms because they’re just so intensely and overwhelmingly powerful. They also work equally well on both penises and vulvas. To keep your hands free while you force orgasms from your submissive, try a wand harness.

Sex Toys as Rewards for a Submissive in a Kinky Dynamic

If you’re in a Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship or playing with some kind of power dynamic in the bedroom or in your relationship, you may want to incorporate rules, rewards, and punishments in some way. Favourite sex toys can be a great motivator in this type of kinky relationship.

For example, time with a favourite sex toy can be a great reward for an obedient submissive. On the other hand, refusing them permission to masturbate or use toys can be an effective punishment. Remember to negotiate thoroughly in advance to make sure you’re both happy with the rules, rewards, and punishments you agree on.

Play with Threesome or Group Sex Fantasies

Threesomes, foursomes, orgies, and other group sex configurations are tremendously popular fantasies that strike a chord with many people. In fact, according to some sources, having a threesome is the most popular sexual fantasy for people of all genders!

Actually having group sex is certainly possible, and it’s something many people enjoy very much. However, there are many considerations to take into account if you’ve never done it before: jealousy and insecurities, navigating multiple people’s boundaries, and the ways in which your relationship may change are just some of them.

If you’re not ready to go there for real, or prefer to keep it in the realm of fantasy, then you can use a sex toy to simulate your group sex desires without the emotional or relational risk. Realistic dildos, sex dolls, and lifelike pussy-style strokers are ideal for this type of fantasy.

…And Get Creative!

What about you, folks? Any creative or unique ideas on how to get kinky with your favourite sex toys? As with anything in the realm of kink, sex, and toys, you’re limited only by creativity, consent, and your imaginations. So play, explore, don’t be afraid to try things out, and have fun with it.

This post was kindly sponsored by BestVibe, and my readers can enjoy 20% off all products in their store by using code “coffee” at checkout! All writing and views are, as always, mine.

Header image for review of Bondage Seductions sex game for couples

[Game Review] “Bondage Seductions”

Published on by Amy

There are a number of things that are consistently more appealing in theory than in reality. One such concept? Sex games. Buckle in, folks, it’s time to review Bondage Seductions, a BDSM/bondage card game made by Kheper Games and sold by Lovehoney.

Bondage Seductions: Where to Begin With This Mess of a Card Game?

Bondage Seductions is a sex card game for couples. In the box, you’ll find:

  • 36 game cards
  • A pair of silky “ties” (lengths of ribbon)
  • 2 dice
  • A red elasticated blindfold
  • A mini rubber flogger
Bondage Seductions sex game box

The quality of these items is… Not Great. The flogger looks shoddily made and the materials look and feel cheap. The cards contain the same copy in four languages (English, German, French, and Spanish.) I can’t speak for any of the other languages, but the English passages are poorly written and feature frequent typos and weird syntax. Clearly nobody proofread this before whacking it through Google Translate and publishing it.

The rules are simple: roll the 2 dice, and choose the corresponding numbered card (they are numbered 1-1 through 6-6. The red die indicates the first number, the black die the second number.)

Contents of Bondage Seductions couples sex game

Cards in red are “for her to read,” and cards in black are “for him to read” (more on that in a minute.) You read your chosen scenario and then act it out, using the included props as appropriate.

Everything That’s Wrong with This Game

First, Bondage Seductions gets its terminology egregiously wrong. “Bondage” is not a synonym for “BDSM” or “kinky sex”. Bondage is one specific kink: restraining other people and/or being restrained. This game should be called Kinky Seductions or something, because most of it doesn’t involve bondage.

The game also continually uses the word “whip” to describe a flogger. Again, they’re completely different implements! The two words are not synonymous. This is a whip. This is a flogger. The item in this game is a flogger, admittedly a shit excuse for one.

Terminology matters in kink. We can only negotiate and talk about our desires and limits effectively if we use the right language. If someone says they like whips but they actually mean floggers, you can see how that could lead to some really troublesome miscommunications. Single-tail whips are seriously dangerous pieces of kit that can put you or your partner in hospital if you don’t know what you’re doing. They require training and practice to use properly. Using the correct terminology helps keep people safe.

(The game also, even more inexplicably, refers to the flogger as a “paddle”. This is a paddle.)

Bondage Seductions is lax to the point of being irresponsible when it comes to safety. There are cards that explain what safewords are and how to use them, which I guess is something. There’s also a mention of consent and only going as far as you want to go. But that’s all, and that’s not enough.

Several of the activities listed can be dangerous either physically (e.g. impact play) or psychologically (e.g. non-consent roleplay) if done incorrectly. While I appreciate that game creators can’t give an essay on safety for every activity, some context is essential.

I was particularly horrified to see one card suggesting that you flog your lover’s back, without making any distinction between hitting the upper back and shoulders (generally fine) and hitting the lower back, kidney area, and spine (incredibly dangerous and absolutely NOT fine.)

We can’t just nudge total beginners into impact play or non-consent roleplay scenes without telling them how to do so and emerge unharmed. This is grossly irresponsible.

Bondage Seduction… But Only If You’re Cis and Straight

This game takes unnecessary and aggressive gendering to the next level. It begins from the premise of assuming the players are a heterosexual, cisgender couple. There was absolutely no reason to do that! The cards could easily have been split by Top/bottom rather than male/female, or even just included a bunch of scenarios and left it to the players to decide who would take which roles.

Bondage Seductions kink game cards

This game is not just cisheteronormative, but incredibly sexist. Here are a few choice quotes (all genuine, all copied down verbatim):

“Doesn’t he know you’d have an orgasm on the spot if he’d lift a finger and do the dishes for once in his life?”

“Perhaps he’d chatting with his mother when he should be asking about your day? Or worse yet… screaming at other drivers when he should be offering you compliments about your new hairdo!”

“Men are visual, and women are more sensitive to touch.”

“Don’t you wish sometimes that he would just shut up?”

This game was designed by people who don’t have a very good opinion of either men or women. It also seems to carry the assumption that people in heterosexual partnerships kinda hate each other. And honestly, I just find that sad.

ALSO. There are two cards titled “Safe Word For Her” and “Safe Word for Him.” Apart from the pronouns, these two cards are identical. There is literally zero point to this. Just have one safeword card or explain the concept in the rules! This game takes “gendering things that have no reason to be” to the next level.

Verdict

Bondage Seductions is bad. It’s really, really bad. This game is not just cheesy, cheap, and badly put-together. It’s also outrageously sexist and dangerously cavalier about some pretty risky activities.

Seriously. Do not go near this game. This is awful. There are far better introductory toys and beginner-friendly BDSM kits out there.

Bondage Seductions is available from Lovehoney UK and Lovehoney US, but you absolutely shouldn’t buy it.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! Views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

leg in futomomo shibari tie. Header image for 3 mini reviews of kink products

[Kink Product Review] Beginner BDSM Toys: Leather Cuffs, Hemp Rope, and Silicone Paddle

Published on by Amy

If you’re looking to explore BDSM for the first time, the sheer volume of toys and gear on the market can be overwhelming. From BDSM starter kits to custom, artisan-made toys, shopping for beginner BDSM toys can be a minefield and an expensive one at that. That’s why I’m working with The Pleasure Garden, a women-owned and 100% body-safe online sex shop, to bring you this round-up of three potential options for newcomers to kink: a set of leather cuffs, some hemp rope, and a silicone paddle. You’ll also find some quick tips on how to use them safely.

Let’s delve into the parcel, shall we?

Beginner BDSM Toys #1: Bound Noir Slim Wrist Cuffs

If you’re interested in playing with bondage and restraint, a set of good quality wrist cuffs is a great place to start. This set, made of soft and supple real leather with gold-coloured metal hardware, retail for the bargain price of £34.99.

Bound Noir black leather cuffs from a beginner BDSM toys kit

The Bound Noir Slim Wrist Cuffs come with a removable connecting chain with clips at either end, and each cuff has two D-rings. This offers plenty of opportunities for play, from securing the wearer’s hands behind their back to fastening them to a bondage bed, St. Andrew’s Cross, or other surface. They have 5 notches for an adjustable fit.

These cuffs are soft and comfortable, and the leather gets softer with use as you break them in. I’ve worn them in scene them for well over an hour, and they remained comfortable the whole time. The gold accents give an elegant feel.

Bound Noir black wrist cuffs on anonymous female hands

If you’re vegan or would prefer not to use products made from animal leather, there are many faux leather alternatives available.

Leather Wrist Cuffs Tips & Tricks

When you start playing with restraint, experiment with different positions. Not everything will be comfy for everyone. Clip your partner’s hands together behind their back, hook their arms around the bedpost, or tie their hands to something above their head. If you like attending kink parties or other play spaces, there will be all kinds of furniture to experiment with. Pair with a set of ankle cuffs for more complete restraint or a “spread-eagle” position.

Safety-wise, cuffs should be loose enough that you can slip 1-2 fingers between the cuff and the skin. Experiment with different settings and check in regularly. If the wearer experiences any numbness, tingling, or pins and needles in the hands, take the cuffs off or loosen them. Never leave a bound person alone.

Store your cuffs flat, not fastened, to keep them looking good for longer.

Beginner BDSM Toys #2: Bound to Please Hemp Bondage Rope

Ask any rope bondage practitioner about their favourite type of rope, and you’ll get wildly different but equally passionate answers. We all have our favourites. I’ve always favoured jute for its look, its feel, and the way it handles. Another popular choice is hemp. this hemp bondage rope from Bound To Please.

Hemp rope coiled from a beginner BDSM toys kit

This hemp rope retails for £12.99 for each 10 metre lengths. It is 5mm in diameter, which is my preferred rope thickness for most purposes.

The thing I love about natural fibre ropes, and hemp in particular, is the smell. Hemp rope has a distinct, sweet and woody smell smell. Natural fibres also get softer and smoother with use, as they are handled and absorb the natural oils from your skin.

Rope Tips & Tricks

Close up of part of a futomomo in hemp rope on anonymous leg
A self-tie by me

Beginners often wonder how much rope to buy, and the annoyingly vague answer is “it depends.” Factors like the size of your rope bottom and the types of ties you want to do will have an impact. If all you want to do is tie your partner to the bed for sex, a couple of lengths will be enough. For more complex formal ties, a minimum of 3 lengths will get you started.

Once you start moving beyond very basic ties, the risk involved in rope bondage increases. Suspension looks cool and can be great fun, but it is also very dangerous if not done properly. Take the time to become proficient in floor-based bondage before you even think about suspending or being suspended, and then learn how to do it under the guidance of an experienced rigger.

Make sure you can remove the rope quickly if you need to. EMT shears (the kind paramedics use) are a popular and safe option. Again, never leave a bound person alone.

Peer rope events, in-person or online classes, and instructional videos by reputable teachers are all great ways to learn bondage basics and not-so-basics. Don’t discount self-tying, either, which can be both fun and educational.

Beginner BDSM Toys #3: Bound to Please Silicone Paddle

The most common materials for spanking paddles are leather, faux leather, and hard plastic. I’d never used a silicone paddle before I received this one to try.

The Bound To Please Silicone Paddle measures 41cm long by 6cm wide. It is light and easy to handle, a breeze to clean and sterilise (just throw it in boiling water or use a body-safe medical wipe), and suitable for vegans.

BLack silicone paddle from a beginner BDSM toys kit

I tested this one out with my partner The Artist. To the best of my recollection, my reaction to the first few strikes was a string of profanity. A combination of the density of the silicone, textured surface, and slender design means this fucking thing hurts like hell.

Seriously, I don’t think I can really recommend a silicone paddle as a beginner BDSM toy. It is vicious.

Now to be clear, I love this paddle. But I am an experienced kinkster and have been doing impact play for well over a decade. Unless you have a high pain tolerance and a very clear idea of your body’s capabilities and limits, I cannot recommend this paddle to someone just starting out. You could get hurt or hurt your partner in a bad way if you start out with an impact toy this intense.

So what do I recommend instead? A wide, soft leather paddle or flexible layered paddle is a great beginner BDSM toy for curious impact players.

If you’re feeling brave enough to try this fucker, though, it retails for an affordable £24.99.

Silicone Paddle Tips & Tricks

Black silicone paddle in anoymous hand

Before you pick up a silicone paddle or any other impact toy, learn which areas of the body you can safely strike. Fleshy areas like the butt and backs of the thighs are low risk and enjoyable on most people. Front and inner thighs, breasts and chests, upper backs, and genitals can also be fun if you’re careful. Never strike the face, head, neck, spine, lower back, or any bony area or joint.

If you’re new to impact play, start slowly. Most people can take more impact, and will enjoy it far more, if you build up gradually. Unless you’ve negotiated it very explicitly with an experienced bottom, whacking someone at full force right out of the gate is a recipe for a bad time.

Remember that the goal of an impact play session isn’t to take or dish out as much as you possibly can. The goal is for everyone involved to have a good time.

When you’re negotiating a spanking session, get clear about what kind of scene you want and what impact play means to you. Playing with punishment is hot to some people and emotionally painful for others. Will power dynamics be involved or are you purely in it for the physical sensations? Will you be taking on a role, or playing as yourself?

Other Recommendations For Your First Toy Kit

When you’re just starting out in kink, you don’t necessarily want to spend a fortune on kit – especially before you’ve fully worked out what you like! Exactly what you prioritise spending your money on will, of course, depend on your interests. But here’s a few things I think you should consider for your basic all-purpose kink kit…

Thank you to The Pleasure Garden for sending me these items to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views and writing are mine.

Header image for a review of the Lovehoney Take Control bondage kit

[Kink Product Review] Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit

Published on by Amy

Sex toy kits are a fantastic idea in theory, but usually significantly less amazing in practice. Too often, they’re little more than a collection of cheap and poor-quality products shoved together in a pretty box and sold for a premium price. I’ll nearly always tell my readers to forego a kit and spend a bit more on just one or two quality items. However, I try to keep an open mind, which is why I agreed to review the Take Control Bondage Kit for beginners from Lovehoney.

Take Control: A Beginners’ Bondage Kit by Lovehoney

It’s been a very long time since I was new to BDSM. I’ve been doing kinky shit for well over a decade and have accrued a sizeable collection of toys, from basic staples to custom collars, premium impact toys, and more. So a beginner kit is not something I would ever buy for myself.

Therefore, I am trying to step back in time ten years or so in my mind, and view this BDSM starter kit through the eyes of someone who is just starting out, collecting their first beginner BDSM toys, or maybe wondering if they’re even kinky.

Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit: First Impressions

The Take Control Bondage Kit comes in one simple box, with all the products clearly displayed on the front so you know exactly what to expect. The packaging is brightly coloured and fun, reducing the intimidation factor for nervous new kinksters.

"Take Control" Lovehoney bondage kit
"Take Control" Lovehoney bondage kit in its box

There’s a LOT of information on the box, too. I appreciate that Lovehoney has provided a brief description on how to use each item as well as some basic information on safety and consent. The box reminds players to use safewords, never leave a bound person alone, and have a non-verbal safe signal if someone is gagged. It’s pretty 101-level stuff, but that’s also what a complete newcomer to kink is likely to need. Top marks for that.

I wasn’t delighted with the way the box was packed. Everything was just sort of piled in, each item wrapped in a cellophane wrapper. It’s a lot of unnecessary single-use plastic.

There is no real leather in this kit, making it vegan-friendly.

What’s in the Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit?

With that said, I think this is overall a decent beginners’ bondage kit. Many BDSM starter kits and sex toy kits generally are filled with things that aren’t even safe, let alone of good quality.

Let’s take a look at what’s inside, shall we? Just for fun, I’ve included a fun tip or an idea to try with each item in the Take Control kit. As always, pick the ones that resonate for you, leave the rest, and add your own ideas as you explore.

1: Blindfold

This blindfold is super comfy. It’s also thick and padded, meaning I couldn’t see a thing when it was on. The band is stretchy, too, so it should fit most people comfortably.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Blindfold your partner and stroke different items across their body – a silk scarf, a piece of velvet, the tails of your flogger – and have them guess what each item is.

2. Nipple suckers

I really liked these little suckers! They’re a great gentle introduction to nipple play, and perfect if you want some sensation but without the pain of nipple clamps or clothes pegs. They work for all chest sizes, from flat chests to large breasts, and most nipple sizes. If you flick or hit them too hard, they will fly off, but they can withstand some gentle manipulation.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Tell your partner to fetch you something from another room with these on. They’ll have to move carefully, though – they’ll be spanked if one falls off!

3. Ball gag

Full disclosure: I hate ball gags. I fucking hate them. They make my jaw hurt, they make me drool, and I can’t kiss my partner when I’m wearing one. They’re basically a soft limit at this point. With that said, this is a fine ball-gag if you do like them. The holes make it breathable, and silicone is a non-porous and hygienic material. I also like how adjustable this gag is. With 9 buckle holes, it will fit most people comfortably.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Make your submissive try to repeat words back to you while gagged.

4. Flogger

This is a stingy little fucker! Don’t let the small size fool you, this flogger can pack a wallop. The falls are made of thin rubber, which delivers a vicious sting when you put some force behind it. If pain isn’t your thing, you can drag it sensually across the skin for a gentle tickle. I would have liked the handle to have a bit more width and weight to it.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Try gently flogging the vulva or penis if your partner is up for it. Remember to clean your flogger thoroughly afterwards to remove any bodily fluids.

5. Wrist and ankle cuffs

These were the weakest part of the Take Control kit by far, for me. They’re quite thin and made of nylon, with no padding, which means they chafe if you put any pressure on them. They’re fine for exploring the feeling of being restrained, but if you want to pull against them at all I recommend getting some quality BDSM cuffs.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Restrain your partner then make them watch you masturbate in front of them.

6. Under-bed restraints

These are great, except for the tiny detail that they don’t fit my bed! We have a Super King bed and these restraints fit up to King Size. So they’ll be fine for the vast majority of people, but if you have a ridiculously giant bed like us, they may not fit.

These restraints are strong, durable, and easy to both set up and tuck out of sight when you’re done, if you want to. The little clips mean you can easily add any set of cuffs to them.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: when your partner is restrained, run a cube of ice along their body or drip low-temperature candle wax onto their skin.

7. Silicone suction cup dildo

Wow, a body-safe dildo in a BDSM kit! This shouldn’t be a pleasant surprise, and yet it is. This dildo measures 6″ in length and has a diameter of 1.5″. The slight curve is ideal for targeting the G-spot or prostate, and the silicone is super soft and silky. The suction cup and hollow space for a bullet vibrator are great additions.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Tease your lover’s entrance with the dildo until they beg to have it inside them.

8. Strap-on harness

This is the same harness that Lovehoney sells as part of their basic strap-on sex/pegging kit a few years ago. It’s comfortable and the rings are interchangeable so you can use it with any dildo with a flared base. However, it’s a pretty basic harness and you’ll want to upgrade to a higher-quality harness if you find you enjoy strap-on play.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: If you have a vulva, insert a wearable vibrator before you put on your harness. This will stimulate you while you penetrate your partner.

9. Wired bullet vibrator

I was fully expecting this bullet vibrator to be awful. While it’s far from the strongest bullet vibrator in the world and it is a little buzzy, it’s not a bad basic bullet for the size and price. It has several patterns as well as steady vibration speeds.

I don’t love that it’s wired rather than cordless, but the wire is long enough for one partner to control the remote while the other holds the vibrator against their genitals. The bullet takes 2x AAA batteries, which are not included.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Switch it off just when your lover is on the edge of orgasm and make them beg for release.

Lovehoney Take Control Beginners’ Bondage Kit: Verdict

On the whole, the Take Control Bondage Kit is a very solid basic beginners’ set for the price. If you’re brand new to exploring your kinks, you get a lot of bang for your buck here.

The Take Control kit retails for £79.99 UK/$99.99 US.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this kit in exchange for an honest review. If you choose to purchase this or anything else from Lovehoney, please buy through my affiliate links – it supports the blog at no extra cost to you!