What is a BDSM Starter Kit and How Can It Help You Explore Kink?

“I’d love to start exploring BDSM, but all the gear is so expensive!” is a complaint I hear from new and curious kinksters all the time. “I don’t even know what I like yet, how can I get started without dropping hundreds of pounds on things I might not enjoy?”

And I hear you, budget-conscious newbie. Perhaps you’ve perused your local fetish market and picked up artisan floggers, hand-dyed natural fiber ropes, or vintage violet wands, then shuddered at the price tags.

I absolutely love beautiful, unique, one-of-a-kind kink items and I believe we should all be supporting our favourite indie creators within the community. Once you know you enjoy impact play, for example, that buttery soft leather flogger with a hand-turned handle might be a worthwhile investment that will serve you well for many years. But when you’re just starting out, that can be a prohibitive amount of money to drop on a “well, that might be fun…”

Budget constraints and curiosity sometimes lead new kinksters to improvise. Some pervertables are fine, of course, but in other cases using household items for kink can be dangerous.

This is where a BDSM starter kit can help you.

What is a BDSM Starter Kit or Bondage Kit for Beginners?

A BDSM starter kit might also be called a “bondage kit.” In short, it’s a collection of kink items bundled together in a package designed to help you explore.

Some of the items you might find in a beginners’ BDSM or bondage kit include:

  • Impact toys such as floggers, crops, or paddles
  • Restraints such as handcuffs, wrist ties, or bondage tape
  • Rope
  • Gags
  • Blindfolds
  • Collars and/or leashes
  • Clamps and clips (e.g. for nipples)
  • Sensation play items such as strokers or ticklers
  • Sex toys such as vibrators, cock rings, dildos, or strap-ons
  • Wax play candles
  • …and more!

Every BDSM starter kit is slightly different. You’ll need to choose the best one for you depending on your needs, budget, and interests.

How Can a Beginners’ Bondage Kit Help You to Explore?

What is it that interests you about bondage, kink, or BDSM?

If I asked this question to ten different newcomers to the world of kink, I would probably get ten very different answers. That’s because BDSM is a vast and varied world, encompassing all kinds of activities from impact play to power exchange, shibari to sensation play, and so much more.

This vastness is exciting, but can also be overwhelming and confusing. Investing in a BDSM starter kit can be a great place to start for several reasons.

Variety Without the Price-Tag

A kit allows you to try several different things at an affordable price. Perhaps you think you might be into pain, but you also fancy the idea of getting tied up… ooh, and that “wax play” thing sounds exciting, too! A good BDSM starter kit gives you an entry point for several different kinks.

This way, when you find something you like, you can explore it further. And if you find something isn’t for you, then you’ve learned something valuable about your desires without having spent a lot of money on a toy that will languish in the back of the bedroom closet.

Easy and Convenient

A beginners’ bondage kit or BDSM kit takes the guesswork out of kinky shopping. When you’re new, you don’t always know what you don’t know, and trying to buy toys can be confusing at best. A kit gives you an easy, one-stop place to get started.

Staying Safe

As I touched on above, improvising your kinky toys can be dangerous. Spanking your partner with a wooden spoon is likely fine, but did you know that tying someone up with a silk scarf is actually much less safe than using proper bondage rope?

Bondage kits sold by reputable retailers include products specially designed for kinky play that will help you to stay safe as long as you observe basic precautions and practice RACK (that’s Risk Aware Consensual Kink, FYI.)

Get Inspired

It’s a cliché, but a truism, that the brain is the body’s biggest and most important sexual organ. The real magic of BDSM isn’t just the feel of a flogger across your back or cuffs tightening around your wrists, but what’s happening in your mind – and in your dynamic with your partner(s) – as those things happen.

Your BDSM kit might contain items you’ve never thought to use before, and this can spark all kinds of ideas, fantasies, and inspiration.

Choose the Best Bondage Kit for You

Ready to dive in? Here are a few things you’ll want to take into consideration in choosing the best bondage kit for you.

Budget

A BDSM starter kit can cost you under £20 for the most basic kit, up to £150 or more for a comprehensive kit with all the bells and whistles.

Interests

Think about the aspects of kink that interest you the most, and prioritise. If your primary interest is in restraint, you’ll want a kit that includes ropes and/or cuffs. If you’re more interested in pain, choose a kit that comes with paddles, floggers, or crops.

Aesthetic

Yes, it matters! BDSM is a very personal thing, and different aesthetics resonate with different people. If you’re after a darker, more atmospheric mood, an all-black set might suit you. If, on the other hand, you prefer a more colourful and playful feel, you might like reds, pinks or purples. Then there are completely offbeat options, like this denim set!

This post was kindly sponsored by Whipple Tickle. You can shop bondage kits as well as sex toys, lingerie, kink gear, and more at their site. All views and writing are, as always, mine.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day #20: Spanking Paddle

Welcome back once again to my 2022 review series of Lovehoney and Womanizer’s Sex Toy Advent Calendar. You can read the whole series here. And if you decide to buy one (or anything else from Lovehoney), please help me out by going through my affiliate links!

Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 Day 20: Spanking Paddle

Lovehoney mini spanking paddle from sex toy advent calendar

Product Info

A mini spanking paddle decorated with a pretty black and gold design in silky fabric on one side, and plain black faux leather on the other side. The paddle measures 9″ in total length.

Pros

  • A fairly non-scary beginner paddle that delivers a gentle sting rather than anything more painful
  • Pretty aesthetic
  • Slightly different sensations from each side
  • Loop handle makes it easy to hold and store

Cons

  • Loud noise can be problematic if you have family or roommates at home
  • Not particlarly robust

Verdict

This is a nice enough beginner spanking paddle. It’s gentle enough to be suitable for complete BDSM novices, though unlikely to do much for fans of more intense pain play. It might not last very long if you’re doing anything more than very gentle play with it, but it’s fine for figuring out if spanking and impact play are things you enjoy.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 2022 Couples’ Sex Toy Advent Calendar, which retails for £130 and contains £374.99 worth of products, to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going! US readers can buy it here.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #8: Mini Spanking Paddle

Update 04/03/22: this product is seasonal only and has been discontinued. Individual components may still be available.

If you’re new here, hello! I am currently reviewing Lovehoney’s “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar one day at a time. It’s the start of the second week, and we’re about to open Door #8…

Door #8: Mini Spanking Paddle

Mini spanking paddle in adult advent calendar door

We’re getting a little kinky today, with Door 8 revealing a mini spanking paddle. The paddle is red and made of a satiny material on one side, adorned with starts and Lovehoney hearts to match last week’s blindfold. The other side is a leather-like material. I think this is faux rather than of animal origin, but I wouldn’t swear to that. It measures 9″ in total length, not including the black ribbon loop, and 2″ across at the widest point. Its main body is firm with a very small amount of flex.

Lovehoney spanking paddle for BDSM hanging on wall

This paddle’s bark is worse than its bite, so to speak. It makes an impressively loud slapping noise (something to be aware of if you have family or roommates at home!) but the sensation it delivers is pretty gentle. The satin side offers a gentler sensation (great for sensation play, if pain isn’t your thing) and the leather side is slightly more bitey.

Woman holding mini spanking paddle

I say the above with the awareness that pain is entirely subjective and everyone’s experience is different. I enjoy pain sometimes, but I’m not a hardcore masochist by any stretch. The best way to figure out how painful something is for you or your partner is to start out with a few light swats and then build up to your desired level from there. If you want a gentle tickle without any real “ouch” behind it, this paddle can offer that. If you want a more intense sting, you’ll have to put some power behind it or switch to a harder paddle.

As a spanking paddle for complete BDSM beginners and people who prefer the less ouchy kind of kink, it’s fine. I’m not convinced it will last very long in good condition or stand up to any kind of hard play, but it’s also cute, non-threatening, and safe to use as long as you communicate and exercise a little common sense.

Similar paddles retail on Lovehoney for £16.99. The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar offers £370+ worth of products for £120. You can also get another 10% off with my code “coffkink10”.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

5 Reasons I Like Pain Play

You absolutely don’t have to like pain to do BDSM. There are plenty of kinky things you can do that don’t involve pain play at all! I don’t have a particularly high pain threshold, but I do like a little bit of ouch with my kink.

Just for fun, I wanted to share a few reasons why.

I like a challenge

Not always, but sometimes I enjoy being pushed close to my limit with pain play. I enjoy the challenge and the sense of accomplishment.

It’s a bit like pushing yourself through the last half-mile of a particularly intense run, only a lot more fun. (I fucking hate running. Pain play scenes are my answer to marathons!)

I like taking pain for someone else

Ultimately, my sexual partners only hurt me in bed because I want them to. (Otherwise, that would be abuse!) But I also enjoy the feeling of taking something to please a dominant partner. That fulfills my service submissive side.

It gets me out of my head

One of the reasons I like sex in general and kink more specifically is because it pulls me out of my head. As a writer, an anxious person, and an overthinker, I am very in my head much of the time. Just the right level of sexy pain can quiet down all the noise in my brain and it’s fucking blissful.

It gets me into a submissive headspace

Physical sensations can help us get into a particular mental zone, and pain inflicted by a dominant partner is one of the best ways to get me into a submissive headspace.

I think this is connected to the above point about getting out of my head. It makes my mind go quiet and helps me tap into feelings of submission and vulnerability.

I literally don’t know, I just do

Sometimes kinks just are what they are. There isn’t always a strong reason I can identify why I like a particular sensation. It just… feels good, gets me wet, and gets me off.

And sometimes that’s enough!

If you’re into pain play, do these reasons speak to you? If not, what questions do you have about the combination of pain and pleasure?

Quote Quest badge for a post on pain play and why I like it

I wrote this piece as part of Quote Quest, a weekly meme by Little Switch Bitch. Click the button to see who else was inspired by this week’s quote! And if today’s piece resonated with you, you can always buy me a coffee to say thanks!

[Guest Blog] Kink: Not All Whips and Chains by Violet Grey

Ms. Grey is becoming a C&K regular at this point, and I couldn’t be happier about it. She always pitches me great ideas and writes fantastic, thought provoking pieces it’s a privilege to publish. Today, she’s here talking kink and why it’s not all whips and chains!

Amy x

Not All Whips and Chains by Violet Grey

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me!

This classic line from Rihanna’s hit song, S&M, encompasses a general flavour of sadomasochism. It’s a common perception that BDSM (Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism) involve some form of pain or impact play. 

What comes to mind when you think of BDSM? Is it tying people up? Spanking? Paddles? Whips? Giving control to someone else, or being the one in control? 

All these kinks, and many more, are surprisingly common. But “kinky” esn’t mean the same to everyone – it depends on the person. In everyday life, as we’ve seen with books and films like Fifty Shades of Grey, BDSM is often misunderstood if not completely misrepresented. 

Two of the most common misconceptions are: 

  • BDSM, fundamentally, is abusive. 
  • As I heard one person say, “It’s just all hitting each other, isn’t it?”

Firstly, BDSM is not abusive as long as it’s done between consenting adults, limits and boundaries are respected, and they are playing safely and responsibly. While there are individuals who can and do use BDSM as a guise to abuse others, they are not representative of the majority of kinksters. Most of us just want to have good, safe fun. That being said, it is important to vet any potential partners properly and call out abuse when you see it in the community.

Secondly, no, BDSM is not “just hitting each other”. Any knowledgeable and safe sadomasochist will tell you that. If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this piece, it’s this: kink doesn’t have to be about pain. 

Kink without pain!?

This can be quite a shocking revelation to some folks, especially if all they’ve seen of BDSM is someone having a whip cracked against their arse. My first introductions to BDSM were through very two-dimensional Femdom scenes in crime dramas, usually involving heavy bondage and whips. Male submissives were often ridiculed, and sometimes BDSM as a whole was the butt of a joke. 

So when I was first exploring my kinks, it came as a surprise to learn that you can still be really kinky and not incorporate sadomasochism. I’ll be candid here: I’m no pain slut by any means. While I enjoy erotic spankings and rough sex as much as the next person, if you bring a tawse or thick cane near me, I’m running for the hills! 

So how can you navigate getting kinky without pain or impact play? It’s simple: the same as you usually do. Through negotiation and consent, safety protocols and risk assessment. You have your boundaries, and they can and should be respected. 

Painless kink? Let me count the ways!

So what kind of kinks can you have that aren’t necessarily about whips and chains and pain? Oh, so many! 

From someone whose kinks are mostly not pain-related, so to speak, let me list some of mine for you: 

  • Praise kink – A praise kink is where someone feels aroused or enjoys other positive feelings from being praised by a partner in a scene or during sex. A common example is “good girl/good boy”. Basically, if you call me a “good girl” I’m putty in your hands! 
  • Dominance and submission (D/s) – This dynamic forms the foundation for many BDSM and kink arrangements or fantasies. D/s play can incorporate pain and impact play if you want, but it doesn’t have to. Something as simple as doing the dishes or cuddling can be made kinky when you add a D/s twist. 
  • Blindfolds – Pretty self explanatory. Blindfolds can be made of soft material, like a scarf, satin mask, etc., or tougher materials like leather. My go-to blindfold is my silk sleep mask. 
  • Light bondage –  Light bondage can involve something as simple as a scarf, or you can use cuffs or basic Shibari (Japanese rope bonage) ties. As well as the super-hot element of restraining someone, many people find bondage relaxing. However, bondage – even light bondage – carries a risk factor. Always play safely and responsibly
  • Sensual domination – Sensual domination is my kinky happy place. I love it. This is domination that focuses on delighting the senses, rather than giving pain. It is domination that focuses solely on pleasure, and can involve implements like feathers, satin, bondage rope, massage oils, and candles to set the mood. It can even involve all of the above (which for me, it does!) Sensual domination can often be seen as a gateway for people experimenting or getting started in BDSM, but it’s a valid activity in itself that many experienced kinksters enjoy.

Though sometimes I crave the rough stuff, which I also adore, sensual or “soft” kink (as it’s sometimes called) is where I feel most in my element. 

 On that note… 

No shame in soft kink

Some of the more “hardcore” kinks are so-called due to carrying a great deal of risk. Needle and knife play, for instance, are by no means activities for beginners and require deal of studying, safety, and risk awareness to master. 

I’ve seen less “extreme” kinks, or those not involving pain, described as “diet kink.” Some even go as far as to kink-shame people for “not being kinky enough”. Obviously this is not ok.  It’s easy, when looking into BDSM, to internalise “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts”. I should like hard spankings and floggers, or I should be able to do 24/7 Total Power Exchange if I want to be “really kinky”.

But the truth is, if you’ve got a kink, even if it’s just one? Congratulations! You’re kinky!

No two people are exactly the same. It can be easy to internalise (guilty as charged) feeling like you have to fit into a kinky box – and, of course, feeling you have to be into pain. For all the reasons I’ve discussed here, you don’t have to be and if you’re not, that’s ok. Your kinks are entirely unique to you. 

So go forth, experiment, and have fun! And as always, play safely and responsibly!

Violet Grey describes herself as “your 20-something lady who loves to write. I write erotic fiction, along with real-life sex stories, thoughts on sexuality, kink, BDSM, and generally whatever else is on my mind.” Check out her blog and give her a follow on Twitter!

Oh, and if you enjoyed this post, tips and shopping with my affiliates help me to keep paying occasional guest bloggers.

[Kink Product Review] Three Mini Reviews: Cuffs, Rope, Paddle

It’s no secret to my readers that I love small, independent, women-owned-and-run businesses, especially when they sell exclusively body-safe adult products. That’s why I am proud to be an affiliate of The Pleasure Garden Shop, a homegrown (pun intended) online feminist sex shop right here in the UK.

I must first apologise for the delay in getting these reviews out – my health (physical and mental) have taken a nosedive since the beginning of the year and Mr CK has been unwell too. As such I am woefully behind on testing and writing about everything! But no matter – we’re here now.

I was really excited when Francesca, owner of The Pleasure Garden reached out and suggested a series of mini-reviews of kinky products that might appeal to people looking to explore BDSM for the first time, along with some handy tricks and tips on using them safely. This is the first of such a series – let’s take a look at what was in my very exciting parcel when it arrived…

Bound Noir Slim Wrist Cuffs

People who have seen me getting my sexy on will know that I kink super hard for leather. (Yes, I know, as a vegetarian this makes me a horrible hypocrite – don’t @ me!) Good quality leather also tends to be expensive, which is probably why I don’t own that much of it.

Bound Noir black leather cuffs

The Bound Noir Slim Wrist Cuffs had me squeeing for joy! Not only are they super stylish, made of soft black leather with gold coloured metal accents, they’re also an absolute steal at £32.99. I’ve seen leather cuff sets go for £100+, but there’s no need to spend that much when these are so good! They come with a removable connecting chain with clips at either end, and each cuff has two D-rings – so lots of ways to fasten your sub to something (or to themselves) should you desire.

Bound Noir black wrist cuffs on anonymous hands

These cuffs feel super luxurious to wear. The leather is really soft and supple, and just gets softer with use as you break them in. I’ve worn them for well over an hour before, including in a session where my wrists were above my head. They remained comfortable the whole time. The gold accents give an elegant feel. The perfect accessory for any sexy outfit!

Bound Noir black wrist cuffs on anonymous female hands

They’re super adjustable. They have 5 notches, and there’s no reason you couldn’t get an extra one put in if you wanted to. (Take them to a professional leather worker, you could ruin them if you try it yourself!) The adjustability means they’ll work on most bodies. I have tiny wrists so I use them on the tightest setting. But I’ve also used them on people with much bigger hands/wrists than me with no problems at all.

Leather Wrist Cuffs Tips & Tricks…

Bound Noir black leather wrist cuffs on anonymous female hands

  • Experiment with different positions. Not everything will be comfy for everyone. Clip your partner’s hands together behind their back, hook their arms around the bedpost, tie their hands to something above their head.
  • Pair with a set of ankle cuffs and a 4-way hogtie for more complete immobilisation.
  • Cuffs should be loose enough that you can slip 1-2 fingers between the cuff and the skin, but tight enough so your partner cannot wiggle free. Experiment with different settings and check regularly. If there is any numbness, tingling or pins and needles in the hands, take the cuffs off IMMEDIATELY.
  • Never, EVER leave a bound person alone.
  • Store your cuffs flat, not fastened – the leather will degrade quicker if you store them closed.

Bound to Please Hemp Bondage Rope

Ask any rope bondage aficionado about their favourite type of rope, and you’ll get wildly different – but equally passionate – answers. We all have our favourites. I’ve always been a jute fan; I love the smell of it, the feel of it and the way it handles. But hemp is also a really popular choice. So I was delighted to try out this hemp bondage rope from Bound To Please.

Hemp rope coiled

This rope comes in 10 metre lengths and 5mm width. I believe this is the most ideal rope thickness for most bondage – any thicker and it starts looking bulkier and less elegant, any thinner and it starts to make ties more painful due to the way thinner ropes cut against the skin. (Not necessarily a bad thing if you like pain, but I don’t suggest tying with anything below 5mm until you’re experienced!) Each length costs £12.99.

“How much rope should I buy?” is always a question beginners ask me. It depends on a number of things, including types of ties and the size of the bottom. If you eventually want to move on to complex ties and suspensions, you’ll need more. If all you want to do is tie your partner to the bed for sex, you can get away with a couple of lengths. As a rough guide, for a TK (Takate Kote or Box Tie, the first formal harness tie most riggers learn) you’ll need 3 lengths and possibly 4 lengths for larger bodies. (If your partner is very petite, you might get away with 2.)

(I should just write a Big Guide to Choosing Rope, shouldn’t I? Okay, coming up…)

Anonymous leg tied in a futomomo with hemp rope

The thing I really love about natural fibre ropes, and especially hemp, is the smell. Hemp rope has this slightly undefinable sweet/woody smell and it’s gorgeous. I love tying in a room full of rope enthusiasts because the mix of natural fibres, bodies and sex in the air is just so intoxicating. Natural fibre ropes also get softer and smoother with use, as they are handled and absorb the natural oils from your skin.

Yes, I LOVE this rope!

Rope Tips & Tricks…

Close up of part of a futomomo in hemp rope on anonymous leg

  • Firstly and most importantly, always – ALWAYS – keep a cutting tool to hand. The safest and best tool is a pair of EMT shears, like this, which you can by for a few quid on Amazon or from a medical supplies store.
  • Suspension looks cool and is great fun, but it is NOT the be-all, end-all. It is also very dangerous if not done properly. Gain proficiency in floor-work before you even think about suspending, and then do it under the tuition of an experienced rigger. Bottoms, this applies to you too – don’t ask someone to suspend you when you’ve never even worn a basic chest harness before.
  • Rope is for everyone! No matter the size of your body or your ability level, you can do rope if you want to. Listen to your body and be prepared to adjust.
  • Get some lessons! Rope bondage is inherently risky, and can be dangerous if not done properly. If you’re really lucky, there might be a rope studio near you. Otherwise, see if there’s a Peer Rope event in your area (these are usually listed on Fetlife) or find a trusted private tutor.
  • Check out some instructional Youtube videos. Ask in your local community or on Fetlife for recommendations, as not all teachers are created equal.
  • Get a book, such as Shibari You Can Use or Showing You the Ropes.
  • Learn about the safe areas of the body to tie. This is a great and thorough guide to bondage safety.
  • Rope can be a scene in itself. “Tie them up and fuck them” is great if that’s your thing, but don’t discount the possibility of rope for the sake of rope. Some of my most amazing scenes have been rope and nothing else.
  • To keep your rope in the best condition, coil it and put it away as soon as you can after a session.
  • This is worth reiterating: NEVER leave a bound person alone!

Bound to Please Silicone Paddle

I’d never used a silicone paddle before, so the Bound To Please Silicone Paddle was an exciting new addition to my impact play collection. It measures 41cm long by 6cm wide and is nice and light to handle. Silicone is super easy to clean and sterilise (just chuck it in boiling water or use a body-safe medical wipe), and as it contains no animal derived materials is suitable for vegetarians and vegans.

BLack silicone paddle

I tested this one out with The Artist. From what I recall, my reaction to it was a string of profanity, followed by tears (because it hurt so fucking much, y’all). Due to the density of the silicone and the slender design, what feels like a relatively light stroke to the Top can deliver a hell of a sting to the bottom.

This thing is fucking vicious.

SIlicone paddle

I absolutely adore this paddle. But I am an experienced bottom and have been doing impact play for well over a decade at this point. Unless you have a high pain tolerance and a very clear idea of your body’s capabilities and limits, I cannot recommend this paddle to a beginner.

A wide leather paddle or a paddle that is padded on one side are great options for a gentler start for complete beginners! If you’re feeling brave enough to try this fucker, it retails for a very affordable £24.99.

Paddle Tips & Tricks…

Black silicone paddle in anoymous hand

  • Start slowly. People can take more impact if you build up gradually rather than just whack them at full force straight away!
  • Remember that the goal isn’t “take as much as you possibly can”. The goal is for both of you to have fun and get something out of the session.
  • Get clear about what kind of scene you want and what impact play means to you. Playing with punishment is hot to some people, and emotionally painful for others. “Teacher spanking a naughty student” roleplay is a VERY different scene to “I’ve had a terrible week and need you to spank me until I cry“, even though both might superficially look similar.
  • Learn the safe areas of the body to hit. Upper back and butt = good. Thighs, chest and genitals = yes if you’re careful. Face, head, joins, spine, lower back and neck = absolutely not.
  • Making your partner count the strokes and/or ask you for them can be super hot. Try phrases like, “Thank you Sir/Miss, may I have another?”

Other recommendations for your beginner kit…

When you’re just starting out in kink, you don’t necessarily want to spend a fortune on kit – especially before you’ve fully worked out what you like! Exactly what you prioritise spending your money on will, of course, depend on your interests. But here’s a few things I think you should consider for your basic all-purpose kink kit…

Thank you to Francesca at The Pleasure Garden for sending me these items to review. Please check out the affiliate links in this post – by buying from The Pleasure Garden, you’ll be supporting a small woman-owned business as well as sending a little commission my way to help me keep doing what I’m doing. All views are, as always, my own.

5 Pervertables You Probably Have in Your House Right Now

Hey, did you know October is Kink Month? Join the conversation over on Twitter!

Pervertables are basically innocent everyday items, reimagined for naughty and devious purposes. As today’s 30 Days of D/s prompt is all about pain, I thought I’d tell you a few of my favourite household pervertables for sadomasochistic purposes. They’re great if you want to get your kink on but you’re on a budget, if you want to try a new sensation without blowing loads of cash, or if you find yourself somewhere without your toybag and want to have some fun.

Clothes Pegs

Clothes pegs are amazing! Plastic ones with soft pads on the teeth tend to be a bit less vicious, whereas wooden ones are often more pinchy. This can vary enormously so do test them sneakily on your finger before buying if you can.

Use them on nipples, labia, clits, cocks, or most sensitive fleshy areas (keep away from the face and neck.) Try putting a line of clothes pegs along your masochist’s back, tying them all together with string or twine, and pulling them all of at once. (Don’t surprise someone with this the first time you do it – it’s quite intense and not for everyone. Consent, y’all.)

Pro tip: if you leave them on for more than a few minutes, they’ll hurt like a motherfucker when you take them off. This goes for any type of clamps.

Wooden Spoon

Arguably the ultimate household spanking implement, wooden spoons deliver a surprisingly sharp whack. Much like with canes, the pain comes in waves – initially when the blow hits, and then a few moments later as all the nerves fully register the impact. Implements like this are pretty safe when used on fleshy places like butts, though do start slowly and gently. You’d be surprised how much one of these can hurt!

Hairbrush

Traditionally associated with over-the-knee spanking, hairbrushes remain ever popular hitty implements. Different sizes, shapes and materials feel really different. Make no assumptions, build up slowly and communicate lots with your partner about how it feels. One brush will not feel the same as another. Use the back of the brush (i.e. not the bristles) and bend your sub over the bed or your lap for a delicious sexy spanking.

Ice

Ice is brilliant! You can run it over the body for a cold tease, press it to a nipple or clit, trail icy droplets over them, or even put a small piece of ice into the vagina (make sure they’re well lubricated first, or the ice can stick. Not what you want!)

Ice play doesn’t have to be painful and can be quite sensual, but it definitely can be painful if that’s what you want. Typically, ice in very sensitive places will become painful quite quickly. You could also try pressing it to one spot for a few seconds. Don’t let your partner get too cold, though – get them dry and warm after ice play.

Ginger

At some point I’m going to write a whole post on figging – the practice of sticking a piece of peeled ginger up someone’s butt. But for now, just believe me when I tell you, that shit is INTENSE. The best description I can come up with is that it’s a fiery burning sensation.

Some people love it, some hate it. If you’re curious, give it a go, but don’t expect to be able to keep it in long… and remember, the burning can take a little while to fully settle down even when the ginger is removed. (On my first experience, I had some discomfort for about an hour afterwards, which settled down a lot when I took a really thorough shower.)

Kinky item of the day: They’re all listed above! Go forth, pervert innocent objects, and don’t forget to tell me your favourite pervertables in the comments.

[Kink Product Review] Rouge Garments Leather Spiral Flogger

Did I mention that sex bloggers get the best goodie bags at our events? The lovely people at Rouge Garments provided various goodies for the June Lube and A Laptop social, and mine turned out to be this fittingly red red red (seriously this thing is so red) leather flogger.

This flogger is pretty hefty. End to end it’s about 71cm, of which 51cm is the falls and 20cm the handle. (On Rouge’s site it lists the length of falls as 47cm, so mine may be a slightly over-long prototype.) Either way it’s got a lot of length to it.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
The flogger retails at The Pleasure Garden for £32, which is a very reasonable price for a real leather product.

Materials: ★★★★
It’s 100% real leather, which is my material of choice for hitty items in general. Vegans and stricter vegetarians may want to steer clear, but that’s a matter of personal choice. (I’ll hold my hands up as a hypocritical vegetarian who loves leather here.)

Appearance & Quality: ★★★
It comes in pink, purple or red, which are pretty standard colours for kink gear. I’d love to see more variety in this area in general! The design is fine though I don’t think it’s the prettiest flogger ever – my personal taste in floggers leans more towards leather falls with a wooden or metal handle, rather than all-over leather, but that’s a matter of preference.

The Rouge flogger seems fairly strong and durable, but my one gripe (and it’s a pretty major one) is with the length of the falls. They’re not cut evenly and there is a disparity of more than an inch between the longest and shortest. This does, unfortunately, make an otherwise promising product look somewhat cheap and slapdash.

Ease of Wielding: ★★★
Like all longer floggers, it takes some practice to wield effectively, but this isn’t a criticism of the product. Generally the longer the hitty thing, the harder it is to wield. It is very light for its size, though, which is a plus point. I could use it for quite a while without my arm getting tired, and I’m far from the strongest person around. Mr CK pointed out that, due to the handle not being smooth (the leather is effectively wrapped around in a spiral shape,) the ridges did start to hurt his hand after using the flogger on me for a little while.

Feel: ★★★
I adore the feel of real leather on my skin, and this flogger has a good thud/sting balance. The weight is just enough to give it a nice thud, while the thin falls follow that initial thud with a little bit of stingy bite. The uneven falls do increase the tendency for mishits to happen, though, which led to a couple of “BAD ouch” moments. Not recommended for anyone who wants pure thud or intense sting, but a passable option if you like a mix.

Overall Score: ★★★
Not the greatest flogger I’ve ever used, but passable if you’re looking for something inexpensive. It’s an affordable option for people with some flogging experience who want to try out a larger flogger, and for anyone who wants to add some real leather to their collection without spending a fortune. If you want pure beauty and craft, though, I’d skip this one and head over to a dedicated BDSM retailer instead.

Thanks to Rouge Garments for providing these products in exchange for honest reviews. All opinions are, and will always be, my own. Affiliate link to The Pleasure Garden sends a small commission my way if you buy.