Tag: impact toys

Custom BDSM collars, custom floggers and more header image

Where Can You Get Custom BDSM Collars, Toys, and Other Handmade Kink Gear?

Published on by Amy

When you first start out in kink and BDSM, you might be thinking about building up a toybag. Perhaps you’ve been exploring for a while and you’re ready to upgrade your basic kit for something a bit fancier. Perhaps you’re in a new relationship or have a special occasion coming up and want to treat yourself or your partner to something special. Custom BDSM collars, outfits, toys, and other handmade kink gear can be amazing, one-of-a-kind additions to your collection.

To be absolutely clear: you don’t need expensive custom BDSM gear to be kinky. We’ve all met those individuals who think that a toybag worth thousands of dollars makes them a truer kinkster but who doesn’t know how to actually use any of that stuff safely. Kink isn’t about the toys you own. You can do amazing things with your bodies, with your imaginations, with pervertables, and with some basic items from a beginners’ bondage kit or your local sex shop.

But if you want to add some artisan pieces or custom BDSM gear to your collection, here are five places you can go to find them.

Find Custom BDSM Artisans at a Fetish Market

I love a fetish market (though my bank balance does not!) Fetish markets or kink markets are in-person events where vendors can come to network, meet customers, and sell their wares.

Some happen at regular intervals, such as the monthly Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar/BBB in the UK and the annual Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco. Others are pop-up or one off events. You’ll also find kink and fetish sections in the vendors’ area at some Pride festivals.

The beauty of fetish markets is that you can see and handle items before you buy them. You may even be able to try things—try that collar on, swing those custom floggers against your arm to see how they feel, see how sturdy that bespoke BDSM furniture is—before you commit. And, since most kinky crafters and makers are hugely passionate about what they do, you’ll benefit from their knowledge and advice to help you choose the perfect thing for you.

Shop on Etsy (For Now?)

The Etsy adult content guidelines have made the news over the last couple weeks as the popular crafters’ and makers’ marketplace has clamped down on pornography, sex toys, and other sexual content. At the time of writing, the guidelines explicitly state that kink and BDSM products ARE still permitted:

Etsy allows the sale of non-insertable and non-penetrable adult toys and sexual accessories, as long as they meet our requirements for sale on Etsy. This includes items such as restraints, handcuffs, nipple clamps, body harnesses, sex furniture, and BDSM accessories.

Permitted adult toys and sexual accessories may not be shown in use or worn by human models in listing or review photos. Consider using a mannequin or flat lay photography instead.

Etsy content guidelines as of 11/07/2024

So this is good news for those who buy or sell handmade and custom kink gear. It may change, of course, so keep an eye on it. For now, though, there are thousands of beautiful kinky pieces from custom BDSM collars, cuffs and harnesses to wax play kits, floggers, whips, clamps and much more for sale on Etsy.

A couple of my personal favourites are Kandles by Kitten for the best wax play candles you’ll ever try, and Freebound Studio for all-vegan collars, cuffs and more.

Commission a Custom BDSM Gear Maker Directly

If you find a particular artist or maker you like but they don’t have quite what you’re looking for, ask if you can commission them to make you something unique. Others in your local kink community will probably also have recommendations for their favourite makers. A commission allows you to choose everything from the colours and materials to the sizing.

Again, kinky makers and crafters tend to get into this field because they love it. So if you ask them to help you create something, you’re sure to end up with a unique and beautiful piece you’ll love.

Make Your Own

Not everyone can or wants to get into making their own stuff, of course. This isn’t an easy or quick solution. Many kinky makers have spent years honing their crafts to get as good as they are. But if you’re passionate about making things, have the time, and are willing to drop money on the equipment you’ll need, making your own is one way to guarantee you get something truly bespoke.

Of course, if you already have a crafty talent – such as leatherworking or wood-turning – it should be easy to turn your skills to kinkier projects.

Don’t try to make your own sex toy unless you have an excellent working knowledge of body-safe materials and how to work with them, and test your handmade kink gear thoroughly before you use it on a person.

Check Out the Spicerack, a Marketplace for Adult Artisans and Kinky Crafters

Spicerack is a new platform that is basically Etsy for adults! This sex-positive online marketplace allows makers to sell products from sex toys and custom BDSM gear to lingerie, accessories, art, novelties, sexual wellness products and more. It’s an absolute treasure-trove.

For example, The Kinky Peach sells made-to-order and custom BDSM collars in delightfully whimsical and playful designs. LVX offers custom floggers in a range of handle wood and leather colour options. And I am absolutely lusting over Naughty Pawsies’ colourful shades and quirky pieces.

Whatever custom BDSM gear your kinky heart desires, there’s probably someone on Spicerack selling it… or someone you can commission to make it for you!

Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as always, are mine.

leg in futomomo shibari tie. Header image for 3 mini reviews of kink products

[Kink Product Review] Beginner BDSM Toys: Leather Cuffs, Hemp Rope, and Silicone Paddle

Published on by Amy

If you’re looking to explore BDSM for the first time, the sheer volume of toys and gear on the market can be overwhelming. From BDSM starter kits to custom, artisan-made toys, shopping for beginner BDSM toys can be a minefield and an expensive one at that. That’s why I’m working with The Pleasure Garden, a women-owned and 100% body-safe online sex shop, to bring you this round-up of three potential options for newcomers to kink: a set of leather cuffs, some hemp rope, and a silicone paddle. You’ll also find some quick tips on how to use them safely.

Let’s delve into the parcel, shall we?

Beginner BDSM Toys #1: Bound Noir Slim Wrist Cuffs

If you’re interested in playing with bondage and restraint, a set of good quality wrist cuffs is a great place to start. This set, made of soft and supple real leather with gold-coloured metal hardware, retail for the bargain price of £34.99.

Bound Noir black leather cuffs from a beginner BDSM toys kit

The Bound Noir Slim Wrist Cuffs come with a removable connecting chain with clips at either end, and each cuff has two D-rings. This offers plenty of opportunities for play, from securing the wearer’s hands behind their back to fastening them to a bondage bed, St. Andrew’s Cross, or other surface. They have 5 notches for an adjustable fit.

These cuffs are soft and comfortable, and the leather gets softer with use as you break them in. I’ve worn them in scene them for well over an hour, and they remained comfortable the whole time. The gold accents give an elegant feel.

Bound Noir black wrist cuffs on anonymous female hands

If you’re vegan or would prefer not to use products made from animal leather, there are many faux leather alternatives available.

Leather Wrist Cuffs Tips & Tricks

When you start playing with restraint, experiment with different positions. Not everything will be comfy for everyone. Clip your partner’s hands together behind their back, hook their arms around the bedpost, or tie their hands to something above their head. If you like attending kink parties or other play spaces, there will be all kinds of furniture to experiment with. Pair with a set of ankle cuffs for more complete restraint or a “spread-eagle” position.

Safety-wise, cuffs should be loose enough that you can slip 1-2 fingers between the cuff and the skin. Experiment with different settings and check in regularly. If the wearer experiences any numbness, tingling, or pins and needles in the hands, take the cuffs off or loosen them. Never leave a bound person alone.

Store your cuffs flat, not fastened, to keep them looking good for longer.

Beginner BDSM Toys #2: Bound to Please Hemp Bondage Rope

Ask any rope bondage practitioner about their favourite type of rope, and you’ll get wildly different but equally passionate answers. We all have our favourites. I’ve always favoured jute for its look, its feel, and the way it handles. Another popular choice is hemp. this hemp bondage rope from Bound To Please.

Hemp rope coiled from a beginner BDSM toys kit

This hemp rope retails for £12.99 for each 10 metre lengths. It is 5mm in diameter, which is my preferred rope thickness for most purposes.

The thing I love about natural fibre ropes, and hemp in particular, is the smell. Hemp rope has a distinct, sweet and woody smell smell. Natural fibres also get softer and smoother with use, as they are handled and absorb the natural oils from your skin.

Rope Tips & Tricks

Close up of part of a futomomo in hemp rope on anonymous leg
A self-tie by me

Beginners often wonder how much rope to buy, and the annoyingly vague answer is “it depends.” Factors like the size of your rope bottom and the types of ties you want to do will have an impact. If all you want to do is tie your partner to the bed for sex, a couple of lengths will be enough. For more complex formal ties, a minimum of 3 lengths will get you started.

Once you start moving beyond very basic ties, the risk involved in rope bondage increases. Suspension looks cool and can be great fun, but it is also very dangerous if not done properly. Take the time to become proficient in floor-based bondage before you even think about suspending or being suspended, and then learn how to do it under the guidance of an experienced rigger.

Make sure you can remove the rope quickly if you need to. EMT shears (the kind paramedics use) are a popular and safe option. Again, never leave a bound person alone.

Peer rope events, in-person or online classes, and instructional videos by reputable teachers are all great ways to learn bondage basics and not-so-basics. Don’t discount self-tying, either, which can be both fun and educational.

Beginner BDSM Toys #3: Bound to Please Silicone Paddle

The most common materials for spanking paddles are leather, faux leather, and hard plastic. I’d never used a silicone paddle before I received this one to try.

The Bound To Please Silicone Paddle measures 41cm long by 6cm wide. It is light and easy to handle, a breeze to clean and sterilise (just throw it in boiling water or use a body-safe medical wipe), and suitable for vegans.

BLack silicone paddle from a beginner BDSM toys kit

I tested this one out with my partner The Artist. To the best of my recollection, my reaction to the first few strikes was a string of profanity. A combination of the density of the silicone, textured surface, and slender design means this fucking thing hurts like hell.

Seriously, I don’t think I can really recommend a silicone paddle as a beginner BDSM toy. It is vicious.

Now to be clear, I love this paddle. But I am an experienced kinkster and have been doing impact play for well over a decade. Unless you have a high pain tolerance and a very clear idea of your body’s capabilities and limits, I cannot recommend this paddle to someone just starting out. You could get hurt or hurt your partner in a bad way if you start out with an impact toy this intense.

So what do I recommend instead? A wide, soft leather paddle or flexible layered paddle is a great beginner BDSM toy for curious impact players.

If you’re feeling brave enough to try this fucker, though, it retails for an affordable £24.99.

Silicone Paddle Tips & Tricks

Black silicone paddle in anoymous hand

Before you pick up a silicone paddle or any other impact toy, learn which areas of the body you can safely strike. Fleshy areas like the butt and backs of the thighs are low risk and enjoyable on most people. Front and inner thighs, breasts and chests, upper backs, and genitals can also be fun if you’re careful. Never strike the face, head, neck, spine, lower back, or any bony area or joint.

If you’re new to impact play, start slowly. Most people can take more impact, and will enjoy it far more, if you build up gradually. Unless you’ve negotiated it very explicitly with an experienced bottom, whacking someone at full force right out of the gate is a recipe for a bad time.

Remember that the goal of an impact play session isn’t to take or dish out as much as you possibly can. The goal is for everyone involved to have a good time.

When you’re negotiating a spanking session, get clear about what kind of scene you want and what impact play means to you. Playing with punishment is hot to some people and emotionally painful for others. Will power dynamics be involved or are you purely in it for the physical sensations? Will you be taking on a role, or playing as yourself?

Other Recommendations For Your First Toy Kit

When you’re just starting out in kink, you don’t necessarily want to spend a fortune on kit – especially before you’ve fully worked out what you like! Exactly what you prioritise spending your money on will, of course, depend on your interests. But here’s a few things I think you should consider for your basic all-purpose kink kit…

Thank you to The Pleasure Garden for sending me these items to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views and writing are mine.

Several wooden spoons. For a post about pervertables and doing BDSM on a budget with household items

5 Pervertables You Probably Have in Your House Right Now

Published on by Amy1 Comment

Quality BDSM gear can be expensive. Sex shops sell some stuff, of course, though its quality is highly variable. A custom flogger or handmade paddle can cost anything from tens to hundreds of dollars. Many people simply don’t have that type of money and want to enjoy BDSM on a budget instead. Enter: pervertables.

What Are Pervertables?

Pervertables are innocuous everyday household items, reimagined and repurposed for kink. They are ideal for kinksters looking to do BDSM on a budget, anyone who is new to BDSM or wants to try a new type of sensation without blowing a lot of cash, or for those occasions when you find yourself somewhere without your toybag and want to have some fun.

And, of course, some pervertables can be sexy for their own sake. A lot of people fetishise, for example, the feeling and aesthetic of being spanked with a hairbrush.

Doing BDSM on a Budget? You Probably Have These 5 Pervertables in Your House Right Now

When it comes to using pervertables for BDSM and bondage at home, you’re limited only by your imagination and basic safety precautions. Here are five ideas for items you might have to hand right now that can have a kinky use.

Clothes Pegs

Clothes pegs are an amazing alternative to clamps and such an underrated kink toy! Choose the plastic ones with soft pads on the teeth if you’re after something less vicious. The wooden ones are often more pinchy. This can vary, though, so test them out on your finger before you apply them to anywhere more sensitive.

Use clothes pegs on nipples, labia, clits, cocks, or most sensitive fleshy areas. Keep them away from the face and neck. After a more intense or painful experience? Try putting a line of clothes pegs along your masochist’s back, tying them all together with string or twine, and pulling them all of at once. (Don’t surprise someone with this the first time you do it; it’s not for everyone, so always get consent first.)

Pro tip: the longer you leave clamps or pegs on, the more they’ll hurt when they come off.

Chopsticks

Chopsticks are another option for makeshift clamps. Simply squeeze a nipple (or other sensitive area) between two chopsticks and secure the ends with small elastic bands or hair ties. For a tighter squeeze, secure closer to the centre. To loosen them off, move the bands outwards.

Wooden Spoon

Arguably the ultimate household spanking implement, wooden spoons can deliver a surprisingly sharp and stingy sensation. Much like canes, their pain comes in waves – the initial sting when the blow hits, and then a second or two moments later as all the nerves fully register the impact.

Pervertables like wooden spoons are pretty safe when used on fleshy places like butts, but you should always start slowly and gently, checking in with your partner along the way. You’d be surprised how much they can hurt!

Hairbrush

Traditionally associated with over-the-knee spanking, hairbrushes remain enduringly popular impact implements. Different sizes, shapes and materials can feel very different, so make no assumptions, build up slowly, and communicate with your partner as you go about how it feels.

Ice

Ice is brilliant. You can use it on its own or alongside something like wax play for a fun temperature-based scene. You can run ice over your partner’s body for a cold tease, press it to a nipple or clit, or trail icy droplets all over them.

Ice play doesn’t have to be painful and can be purely sensual, but it definitely can be painful if that’s what you want. Typically, ice in sensitive places will become painful quite quickly. Keep the ice moving (i.e. don’t rest it on one spot for too long) and make sure that the bottom gets dried off and warmed up as quickly as possible after play.

…And 5 Things You Shouldn’t Use as Pervertables

All the pervertables and activities I’ve suggested here are relatively low risk as long as you communicate with your partner, practice risk-aware consensual kink (RACK), and observe some basic safety precautions such as understanding no-hit zones.

But there are also some things you absolutely should not use as pervertables. Here are a few of them:

Cable Ties

Cable ties (also known as zip ties) are not a safe way to restrain someone. They can tighten easily, cutting off circulation or causing nerve damage. They’re also thin bands of rough plastic, meaning there’s a high risk of them cutting or chafing the skin.

Household Candles

There are different schools of thought on this. Some people say that basic, unscented paraffin wax candles are okay. My stance, though, is it’s not worth the risk. Different wax blends and quality levels burn at different temperatures and it can be hard to know what you’re getting. Instead, choose wax play candles from a reputable maker or supplier.

Fruits and Vegetables

Please don’t insert fruits and veggies into your body. They can carry harmful bacteria, pesticides, or other contaminants which can lead to irritation or infection. They can also have rough or sharp areas which can cut you. It is particularly dangerous to insert anything without a flared base anally, as it could become stuck (leading to an embarrassing emergency room visit if not a serious injury.)

This applies to virtually any household items you might be tempted to insert, by the way. There are safe(r) ways to repurpose other items or make your own sex toy, but when you can get a basic silicone dildo for under $20, it’s just not worth taking risks with unsafe items.

Bamboo Garden Canes

Tempted to reach for one of those cheap bamboo gardening canes and repurpose it as a BDSM implement? Please, please don’t. Here’s why: when bamboo breaks, it splits horizontally along the shaft. This can result in razor-sharp long edges, putting the recieving partner at risk of a deep and dangerous cut.

Scarves

Scarves, particularly those made of slippery materials like silk, are popular “beginner bondage” materials for those wanting to practice BDSM on a budget. Unfortunately, they’re also far more dangerous than you think. They can easily tighten unintentionally, cutting off circulation, causing nerve damage, or making them difficult to undo quickly. Grab some basic jute or hemp rope and learn how to do some fundamental ties instead. You’ll be much safer.

FYI: affiliate links appear in this post.

Header image for a review of the Rouge Garments leather flogger

[Kink Product Review] Rouge Garments Leather Spiral Flogger

Published on by Amy

One of the great things about being a sex writer is that our events always have great freebies, from sex toys to kink gear and beyond. Rouge Garments kindly provided various goodies for the recent Lube and A Laptop social, and I came home with this red leather flogger.

Rouge Garments Red Leather Flogger: Basics

This flogger is pretty hefty. End to end it’s about 71cm, of which 51cm is the falls and 20cm the handle. (On Rouge Garments’ site it lists the length of falls as 47cm, so mine may be a slightly over-long prototype.) It is made of real leather, so vegans may want to skip this one.

The Rouge Garments flogger retails for £36.99, which is a very reasonable price for a real leather product. It is available in black, purple, or pink as well as red leather.

Rouge Garments Flogger: Design

The design of this toy is fine, though it’s far from the prettiest flogger ever. My personal tastes in impact toys leans more towards leather falls with a wooden or metal handle, rather than all-over leather, but that’s a matter of preference.

The Rouge Garments red leather flogger seems fairly strong and durable, but my main design gripe (and it’s a pretty major one) is with the length of the falls. They’re not cut evenly and there is a disparity of more than an inch between the longest and shortest. This makes the product look somewhat cheaply made and slapdash. It also makes accuracy harder to attain, particularly for newer impact tops. I got it for free, but if I’d paid for it I would be pretty unhappy with it on this basis.

In Use

Like all longer floggers, the Rouge Garments red leather flogger takes some practice to wield effectively, It is pretty light for its size, though, which is a plus point. I could use it for quite a while without my arm getting tired, and I’m far from the strongest person around.

Mr C&K pointed out that, due to the handle not being smooth (the leather is effectively wrapped around in a spiral shape,) the ridges did start to hurt his hand after using the flogger for a little while.

From the receiving end, the Rouge Garments flogger has a decent thud/sting balance. The weight is just enough to give it a nice thud, while the thin falls follow that initial deep impact with a little bit of stingy bite.

I wouldn’t recommend it for anyone who wants either very hard thud or intense sting. However, it’s a passable option if you’re after something in the middle of the spectrum.

Verdict

This is an okay beginner flogger for people who are new to BDSM or anyone looking for something inexpensive. If you want beauty, craftsmanship, and something to last you a lifetime, though, I’d skip this one. Head over to a dedicated BDSM retailer or marketplace instead.

Thanks to Rouge Garments for providing these products in exchange for honest reviews. All opinions are, and will always be, my own. Affiliate link to buy this product from The Pleasure Garden send a small commission my way if you use them.