[Better Sex Products Review] Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Massage Candle

You may recall that I reviewed a series of products from Bijoux Indiscrets’ Slow Sex range almost two years ago. Since then, new items have been added to the line and a few of them arrived for me to test this week.

First up: the Slow Sex Massage Candle. This little candle in a tin comes attractively packaged in a Slow Sex-branded box.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex massage candle in box


I’m always curious about the ingredients in products like this, so let’s take a close look at everything that’s in the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Massage Candle.

  • Prunus Amygdalus Dulcis oil: A carrier oil extracted from almond seeds, used as an emollient (skin softener) and for moisture retention.
  • Cocos Nucifera oil: AKA coconut oil, which is well known for its skincare benefits and can even be used as a lubricant.
  • Stearic acid: A fatty acid derived from both plant and animal fats (Bijoux is an all-vegan company, so uses plant-based stearic acid.) Functions as an emollient and emulsifier (stabiliser) as well as a texture enhancer.
  • Butyrospermum Parkii butter: AKA Shea butter, an emollient and a powerful moisturiser that’s particularly great for dry skin
  • Aroma: This is what’s added to the product to makes it smell nice.
  • Glycine Soja oil: AKA soybean oil, this non-fragrant plant oil is an emollient and an antioxidant which can help skin to stay hydrated.
  • Squalene: An oil compound found in some fish oils but also in some vegetable oils and which is an excellent skin hydrator.
  • Glyceryl Stearate SE: A stabiliser, emulsifier, and emollient. SE stands for “self-emulsifying,” which means it blends with water without the need for additional emulsifying ingredients.
  • Tocopherol: A pure form of Vitamin E, with many skincare benefits including hydration, moisturising, and antioxidation.
  • Beta-sitosterol: A fatty acid derived from plants that’s a great moisturisor and can sooth irritated or damaged skin.

In short, nothing but body-safe, skin-friendly, and plant-based ingredients.

In Use

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex massage candle in its box

The Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Massage Candle melts quickly once you light it. On the first use, I had plenty of useable oil within less than a minute. When I wanted to top up on oil mid-massage, it took no more than 10-15 seconds of the candle being lit to get the amount I needed. The box says to light it for 15 minutes but honestly, unless you want the entire thing melted, that’s not even close to necessary. Any oil you don’t use will just harden again as it cools, ready for next time.

Both my girlfriend and I loved the subtly coconutty scent of this candle. It’s distinctive without being obstrusive or overpowering, and helps to create a lovely romantic, relaxed vibe as it permeates your space.

Our skin felt wonderfully soft and moisturised after trading massages, and I still kept catching little whiffs of the scent hours later.

I often struggle with oily sensations for sensory reasons, but the Bijoux Indiscrets Massage Candle’s oil doesn’t leave my skin feeling unpleasantly greasy because it soaks in so well. An oil-based product that doesn’t have me running to wash it off my hands? That’s an achievement in itself.

Because there’s no wax in this candle, you can also use it as a moisturiser or as a fragrant addition to a bath if you like.

Is this the Same as a Wax Play Candle?


Well, it’s similar insofar as you light the candle and then drip it onto your partner’s body as it melts. However, the melting point of the oils in this candle is lower than that of paraffin or even soy wax, meaning that – even if you drip it from very close to your partner’s skin – you’ll get a pleasant warmth rather than an “ouch.”

This candle also doesn’t actually contain any wax. The oil will start to harden again as it hits the body, but as soon as you run your hands over it, it’ll melt again and start to be absorbed into the skin as you massage. This means that, unlike with wax play, there’s no cleanup afterwards. You won’t even need to shower if you don’t want to, and leaving the oils on your skin for longer means you can keep enjoying their skincare benefits as well as the gorgeous scent.

Any Downsides?

Due to the oils it contains, this massage candle is not compatible with latex or polyisoprene (though it’s okay with polyurethane.) This means you’ll need to be careful if you’re using barriers such as condoms or dams.

I also didn’t love the slight black residue you get on the inside of the tin and across the top of the candle when it’s been burning a few minutes. It doesn’t really get on your skin in any noticeable way, but it looks a bit yuck.

Bijoux Indiscrets Massage Candle after use, showing black burn residue on the candle and edge of the tin

How Long Will It Last?

Depending on how generous you like to go with your oil, you’ll probably get 4-5 massages out of one candle. You could make it last a little longer by going lighter on your coverage, but more is definitely more here in my experience!


At €20/£18, the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Massage Candle is a little pricey. But it’s also a lovely luxurious little treat which makes a great addition to trading massages with your partner. When it runs out, I’d seriously consider spending money on getting another one.

Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me this product to review. All views, as always, mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

What is a BDSM Starter Kit and How Can It Help You Explore Kink?

“I’d love to start exploring BDSM, but all the gear is so expensive!” is a complaint I hear from new and curious kinksters all the time. “I don’t even know what I like yet, how can I get started without dropping hundreds of pounds on things I might not enjoy?”

And I hear you, budget-conscious newbie. Perhaps you’ve perused your local fetish market and picked up artisan floggers, hand-dyed natural fiber ropes, or vintage violet wands, then shuddered at the price tags.

I absolutely love beautiful, unique, one-of-a-kind kink items and I believe we should all be supporting our favourite indie creators within the community. Once you know you enjoy impact play, for example, that buttery soft leather flogger with a hand-turned handle might be a worthwhile investment that will serve you well for many years. But when you’re just starting out, that can be a prohibitive amount of money to drop on a “well, that might be fun…”

Budget constraints and curiosity sometimes lead new kinksters to improvise. Some pervertables are fine, of course, but in other cases using household items for kink can be dangerous.

This is where a BDSM starter kit can help you.

What is a BDSM Starter Kit or Bondage Kit for Beginners?

A BDSM starter kit might also be called a “bondage kit.” In short, it’s a collection of kink items bundled together in a package designed to help you explore.

Some of the items you might find in a beginners’ BDSM or bondage kit include:

  • Impact toys such as floggers, crops, or paddles
  • Restraints such as handcuffs, wrist ties, or bondage tape
  • Rope
  • Gags
  • Blindfolds
  • Collars and/or leashes
  • Clamps and clips (e.g. for nipples)
  • Sensation play items such as strokers or ticklers
  • Sex toys such as vibrators, cock rings, dildos, or strap-ons
  • Wax play candles
  • …and more!

Every BDSM starter kit is slightly different. You’ll need to choose the best one for you depending on your needs, budget, and interests.

How Can a Beginners’ Bondage Kit Help You to Explore?

What is it that interests you about bondage, kink, or BDSM?

If I asked this question to ten different newcomers to the world of kink, I would probably get ten very different answers. That’s because BDSM is a vast and varied world, encompassing all kinds of activities from impact play to power exchange, shibari to sensation play, and so much more.

This vastness is exciting, but can also be overwhelming and confusing. Investing in a BDSM starter kit can be a great place to start for several reasons.

Variety Without the Price-Tag

A kit allows you to try several different things at an affordable price. Perhaps you think you might be into pain, but you also fancy the idea of getting tied up… ooh, and that “wax play” thing sounds exciting, too! A good BDSM starter kit gives you an entry point for several different kinks.

This way, when you find something you like, you can explore it further. And if you find something isn’t for you, then you’ve learned something valuable about your desires without having spent a lot of money on a toy that will languish in the back of the bedroom closet.

Easy and Convenient

A beginners’ bondage kit or BDSM kit takes the guesswork out of kinky shopping. When you’re new, you don’t always know what you don’t know, and trying to buy toys can be confusing at best. A kit gives you an easy, one-stop place to get started.

Staying Safe

As I touched on above, improvising your kinky toys can be dangerous. Spanking your partner with a wooden spoon is likely fine, but did you know that tying someone up with a silk scarf is actually much less safe than using proper bondage rope?

Bondage kits sold by reputable retailers include products specially designed for kinky play that will help you to stay safe as long as you observe basic precautions and practice RACK (that’s Risk Aware Consensual Kink, FYI.)

Get Inspired

It’s a cliché, but a truism, that the brain is the body’s biggest and most important sexual organ. The real magic of BDSM isn’t just the feel of a flogger across your back or cuffs tightening around your wrists, but what’s happening in your mind – and in your dynamic with your partner(s) – as those things happen.

Your BDSM kit might contain items you’ve never thought to use before, and this can spark all kinds of ideas, fantasies, and inspiration.

Choose the Best Bondage Kit for You

Ready to dive in? Here are a few things you’ll want to take into consideration in choosing the best bondage kit for you.


A BDSM starter kit can cost you under £20 for the most basic kit, up to £150 or more for a comprehensive kit with all the bells and whistles.


Think about the aspects of kink that interest you the most, and prioritise. If your primary interest is in restraint, you’ll want a kit that includes ropes and/or cuffs. If you’re more interested in pain, choose a kit that comes with paddles, floggers, or crops.


Yes, it matters! BDSM is a very personal thing, and different aesthetics resonate with different people. If you’re after a darker, more atmospheric mood, an all-black set might suit you. If, on the other hand, you prefer a more colourful and playful feel, you might like reds, pinks or purples. Then there are completely offbeat options, like this denim set!

This post was kindly sponsored by Whipple Tickle. You can shop bondage kits as well as sex toys, lingerie, kink gear, and more at their site. All views and writing are, as always, mine.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day #8: Sandalwood Scented Candle

Welcome back to my day by day unboxing and review of Lovehoney and Womanizer’s 2022 Sex Toy Advent Calendar . If you’ve just arrived, check out the full series here. If you decide to make a purchase of this or any other Lovehoney product, I’d really appreciate you using my affiliate links. It helps to keep the blog going!

Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 Day 8: Sandalwood Scented Candle

Sandalwood scented candle from Lovehoney

Product Info

A small (40g) sandalwood-scented candle in a little gold and black tin.


  • Lovely, earthy sandalwood scent – ideal for setting the mood for a romantic night in


  • Not suitable for wax play
  • May be unsuitable for those with fragrance sensitivities as the scent is quite strong when lit


It’s a nice extra if you’re someone who likes to light candles during sex (or just enjoys using scented candles to make your space smell nice.

Unlike last year’s candle, I don’t feel at all confident suggesting that this one is suitable for wax play. Its melting point is not clear and the addition of scents can sometimes make candles burn much hotter so, since it is not specifically stated as a wax play-safe candle, I wouldn’t take the risk. Choose a wax play candle or massage candle if you want to apply the wax to your skin.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 2022 Couples’ Sex Toy Advent Calendar, which retails for £130 and contains £374.99 worth of products, to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going! US readers can buy it here.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #9: Vanilla Scented Candle

Update 04/03/22: this product is seasonal only and has been discontinued. Individual components may still be available.

A few weeks ago, I received the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” advent calendar for couples. Each door includes a toy, kink product, or other sex-themed surprise. I’m reviewing the set day by day, and today is Day 9!

Door #9: Vanilla Scented Candle

Vanilla scented candle in Lovehoney advent calendar

Behind Door #9 is a vanilla scented candle designed to set the mood for a romantic evening and fill your room with a lovely vanilla fragrance. The scent is pretty strong, so you might want to skip this one if you have any kind of fragrance sensitivity. Assuming you like the smell of vanilla, it’s pleasant enough and not too “artificial” smelling.

Is this candle safe for wax play?

Being the kinky fucker that I am, my thought when I see a candle in a sex-related context is less “romantic mood lighting” and more “drip it on my skin!” So is this candle suitable for wax play (a BDSM activity involving dripping melted candle wax on your partner or yourself)?

Short answer: I can’t see any reason why not.

This candle contains just two ingredients: soy wax and vanilla bean fragrance. Soy wax is very popular for wax play because it has a fairly low melting point – typically 120-160°F (49-71°C) – and cools quickly on contact with the skin. Additives such as fragrances and colourants can impact the melting point significantly so if you want to experiment with wax play, it’s safest to buy bondage candles rather than just using anything you have lying around at home.

I tried out this candle on my arm to assess its wax play potential. Dropped from a height of about 8 inches, the wax was just slightly warm when it hit my skin and cooled in a flash. Obviously, the lower the height, the warmer the wax will be. But from a temperature perspective, this candle seems pretty safe. Assuming you’re not allergic or sensitive to soy and fragrances, you should be fine.

Arm with candle wax from BDSM wax play

Actually, the biggest issue with this candle from a wax play perspective is that the tin gets warm when it’s been lit for a while. So if you want to use it for that, I suggest you do so as quickly after lighting it as possible.

Be aware that soy wax can be a little sticky, so leave time for clean up. Also, the scent clings to skin quite strongly! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go and sniff my currently vanilla-scented arm some more…

The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar is a limited-edition product offering £370+ worth of products for £120. Get 10% off this or any other order at Lovehoney with my code “coffkink10”.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!