Tag: cuffs

Custom BDSM collars, custom floggers and more header image

Where Can You Get Custom BDSM Collars, Toys, and Other Handmade Kink Gear?

Published on by Amy

When you first start out in kink and BDSM, you might be thinking about building up a toybag. Perhaps you’ve been exploring for a while and you’re ready to upgrade your basic kit for something a bit fancier. Perhaps you’re in a new relationship or have a special occasion coming up and want to treat yourself or your partner to something special. Custom BDSM collars, outfits, toys, and other handmade kink gear can be amazing, one-of-a-kind additions to your collection.

To be absolutely clear: you don’t need expensive custom BDSM gear to be kinky. We’ve all met those individuals who think that a toybag worth thousands of dollars makes them a truer kinkster but who doesn’t know how to actually use any of that stuff safely. Kink isn’t about the toys you own. You can do amazing things with your bodies, with your imaginations, with pervertables, and with some basic items from a beginners’ bondage kit or your local sex shop.

But if you want to add some artisan pieces or custom BDSM gear to your collection, here are five places you can go to find them.

Find Custom BDSM Artisans at a Fetish Market

I love a fetish market (though my bank balance does not!) Fetish markets or kink markets are in-person events where vendors can come to network, meet customers, and sell their wares.

Some happen at regular intervals, such as the monthly Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar/BBB in the UK and the annual Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco. Others are pop-up or one off events. You’ll also find kink and fetish sections in the vendors’ area at some Pride festivals.

The beauty of fetish markets is that you can see and handle items before you buy them. You may even be able to try things—try that collar on, swing those custom floggers against your arm to see how they feel, see how sturdy that bespoke BDSM furniture is—before you commit. And, since most kinky crafters and makers are hugely passionate about what they do, you’ll benefit from their knowledge and advice to help you choose the perfect thing for you.

Shop on Etsy (For Now?)

The Etsy adult content guidelines have made the news over the last couple weeks as the popular crafters’ and makers’ marketplace has clamped down on pornography, sex toys, and other sexual content. At the time of writing, the guidelines explicitly state that kink and BDSM products ARE still permitted:

Etsy allows the sale of non-insertable and non-penetrable adult toys and sexual accessories, as long as they meet our requirements for sale on Etsy. This includes items such as restraints, handcuffs, nipple clamps, body harnesses, sex furniture, and BDSM accessories.

Permitted adult toys and sexual accessories may not be shown in use or worn by human models in listing or review photos. Consider using a mannequin or flat lay photography instead.

Etsy content guidelines as of 11/07/2024

So this is good news for those who buy or sell handmade and custom kink gear. It may change, of course, so keep an eye on it. For now, though, there are thousands of beautiful kinky pieces from custom BDSM collars, cuffs and harnesses to wax play kits, floggers, whips, clamps and much more for sale on Etsy.

A couple of my personal favourites are Kandles by Kitten for the best wax play candles you’ll ever try, and Freebound Studio for all-vegan collars, cuffs and more.

Commission a Custom BDSM Gear Maker Directly

If you find a particular artist or maker you like but they don’t have quite what you’re looking for, ask if you can commission them to make you something unique. Others in your local kink community will probably also have recommendations for their favourite makers. A commission allows you to choose everything from the colours and materials to the sizing.

Again, kinky makers and crafters tend to get into this field because they love it. So if you ask them to help you create something, you’re sure to end up with a unique and beautiful piece you’ll love.

Make Your Own

Not everyone can or wants to get into making their own stuff, of course. This isn’t an easy or quick solution. Many kinky makers have spent years honing their crafts to get as good as they are. But if you’re passionate about making things, have the time, and are willing to drop money on the equipment you’ll need, making your own is one way to guarantee you get something truly bespoke.

Of course, if you already have a crafty talent – such as leatherworking or wood-turning – it should be easy to turn your skills to kinkier projects.

Don’t try to make your own sex toy unless you have an excellent working knowledge of body-safe materials and how to work with them, and test your handmade kink gear thoroughly before you use it on a person.

Check Out the Spicerack, a Marketplace for Adult Artisans and Kinky Crafters

Spicerack is a new platform that is basically Etsy for adults! This sex-positive online marketplace allows makers to sell products from sex toys and custom BDSM gear to lingerie, accessories, art, novelties, sexual wellness products and more. It’s an absolute treasure-trove.

For example, The Kinky Peach sells made-to-order and custom BDSM collars in delightfully whimsical and playful designs. LVX offers custom floggers in a range of handle wood and leather colour options. And I am absolutely lusting over Naughty Pawsies’ colourful shades and quirky pieces.

Whatever custom BDSM gear your kinky heart desires, there’s probably someone on Spicerack selling it… or someone you can commission to make it for you!

Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as always, are mine.

Liebe Seele Fairy Collection review header

[Kink Product Review] Liebe Seele Fairy Collection

Published on by Amy

Something that often bugs me about kink and BDSM is the way that the aesthetic is, broadly speaking, so damn similar everywhere you look. There’s nothing wrong with black leather cuffs or PVC catsuits or red and black colourways, of course, but it does all get a bit samey after a while. That’s why I’m so drawn to BDSM products that offer something a little bit different, such as the Liebe Seele Fairy collection.

As a femme with a love of brights, pastels, and fun colours, I don’t always want my BDSM vibe to be dark and serious. Sometimes I want it to be pretty, pastel, and fun! That’s what these items represent.

Liebe Seele Fairy BDSM Collection

Liebe Seele is a Japanese brand selling quality leather BDSM gear, sex toys, fetishwear, and more. Fun fact: “Liebe Seele” translates to “dear soul.”

Their “Fairy” collection is a range of 5 products: wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs, blindfold, collar and leash, and ball gag. Each item is available in either pink and white or green and white. I received the blindfold and ankle cuffs in green, and the collar/leash and wrist cuffs in pink (no ball gag because I don’t use them.)

Liebe Seele Fairy bdsm collection in pink
Liebe Seele Fairy bdsm collection in green

All of the products are handcrafted in real leather, and some have gold or bronze-coloured metal accents such as buckles and fastenings

General First Impressions

My Liebe Seele products arrived beautifully packaged. Each item comes in a sturdy box and is sealed with an inner wrap and branded sticker. The presentation gets absolute top marks. I will say there’s quite a lot of unnecessary single-use plastic, though, so I would like to see that go.

Liebe Seele leather handcuffs for BDSM in their box

Liebe Seele bondage gear inner packaging

At first glance, the leather looks and feels of high quality. It’s lovely and soft, and has that beautiful unique leather smell.

Let’s look at each of the items in turn.

Liebe Seele Blindfold

A blindfold is one of the first basic BDSM items I recommend people get when they’re building a toybag. These versatile toys can be great for sensory deprivation, for getting into a headspace and switching your mind off, or for playing out all kinds of fantasies.

Liebe Seele green leather blindfold for BDSM

The Liebe Seele fairy blindfold has 9 holes, making it highly adjustable and wearable by just about anyone. It’s comfortable to wear, particularly after a couple of uses once the leather is starting to wear in. I particularly love getting a nose full of leather smell – a highly erotic scent to me, because I might be a vegetarian but I am also a giant hypocrite – when I’m wearing it.

It comes with a branded drawstring storage bag.

If I have a criticism of this blindfold, it’s that the actual mask part is slightly too small. When it’s on, it still lets a good amount of light in. Making it just half an inch wider over each eye would likely solve this problem.

The Liebe Seele Fairy Blindfold retails for £24/$28.95.

Liebe Seele Wrist Cuffs

The Liebe Seele wrist cuffs have five holes to fit different wrist sizes. I have fairly small wrists and I find them most comfortable on the fourth setting (i.e. the second tightest.)

Liebe Seele leather handcuffs for BDSM

These cuffs are so, so comfy to wear! The leather is soft and supple immediately, and only gets more so as you wear it in. They feel sturdy and secure, but also sensual and sexy. Each cuff has a small D-ring and they come with a separate double-ended clip chain, allowing you to fasten the wearer’s hands together if you want to.

No notes. A near perfect set of handcuffs for BDSM.

The Liebe Seele Fairy Wrist Cuffs retail for £47/$57.95.

Liebe Seele Ankle Cuffs

Like the wrist cuffs, the Liebe Seele ankle cuffs come with a D-ring on each cuff and a detachable double-ended clip chain. You can clip the ankles together… or combine them with the wrist cuffs for a basic hogtie position. (Read up on how to do this safely before you start!)

Liebe Seele green leather ankle cuffs for BDSM

Again, the cuffs are ultra soft and beautifully made. They feel sturdy enough for harder play, in that I can pull against them without worrying that they’re going to break!

They have 7 hole settings for different sizing, and I personally find the middle one the most comfortable.

The Liebe Seele Fairy Ankle Cuffs retail for £49/$59.95.

Liebe Seele BDSM Collar and Leash

Collars are hugely personal and can mean many different things. Whether you’re choosing one that you’ll just wear in a scene for fun, or one that you’ll wear as a symbol of a committed D/s relationship, it’s important to choose one[*] that feels like “you.” While I’m not sure the Liebe Seele Collar is really me, it is objectively an absolutely gorgeous piece even so.

Liebe Seele pink leather collar for BDSM, BDSM collar and leash

This collar has 9 different sizing settings. Collars shouldn’t be fastened too tight – as a rule of thumb, you should be able to slide two fingers between the collar and the neck with minimal difficulty. Its 3 D-rings offer a variety of play and restraint options (as with anything involving the neck, do your research and be VERY careful. Never do anything that may restrict the wearer’s breathing.) The accompanying leash is completely detachable, so you can use them either separately or together.

It’s comfortable to wear and soft enough that I could happily wear it all evening for a party or scene.

The Liebe Seele Collar and Leash Set retails for £46/$55.95.

[*] Or several. I think I own about 10 collars at this point that I wear in various contexts and with varying degrees of regularity.

Verdict

Gorgeous! I’m obsessed. The Liebe Seele Fairy BDSM collection pieces are such fantastic quality and, if properly cared for, will last for many years. They’re functional as well as aesthetically beautiful.

These pieces are also super affordable for the quality. You can get the full set (everything I’ve reviewed here plus the gag) for under $250/£200, or you can mix and match to get the pieces you want in your choice of colour.

Use code Amy15 to get 15% off your entire Liebe Seele purchase!

Thanks to Liebe Seele for sending me these items to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views are, as always, mine.

leg in futomomo shibari tie. Header image for 3 mini reviews of kink products

[Kink Product Review] Beginner BDSM Toys: Leather Cuffs, Hemp Rope, and Silicone Paddle

Published on by Amy

If you’re looking to explore BDSM for the first time, the sheer volume of toys and gear on the market can be overwhelming. From BDSM starter kits to custom, artisan-made toys, shopping for beginner BDSM toys can be a minefield and an expensive one at that. That’s why I’m working with The Pleasure Garden, a women-owned and 100% body-safe online sex shop, to bring you this round-up of three potential options for newcomers to kink: a set of leather cuffs, some hemp rope, and a silicone paddle. You’ll also find some quick tips on how to use them safely.

Let’s delve into the parcel, shall we?

Beginner BDSM Toys #1: Bound Noir Slim Wrist Cuffs

If you’re interested in playing with bondage and restraint, a set of good quality wrist cuffs is a great place to start. This set, made of soft and supple real leather with gold-coloured metal hardware, retail for the bargain price of £34.99.

Bound Noir black leather cuffs from a beginner BDSM toys kit

The Bound Noir Slim Wrist Cuffs come with a removable connecting chain with clips at either end, and each cuff has two D-rings. This offers plenty of opportunities for play, from securing the wearer’s hands behind their back to fastening them to a bondage bed, St. Andrew’s Cross, or other surface. They have 5 notches for an adjustable fit.

These cuffs are soft and comfortable, and the leather gets softer with use as you break them in. I’ve worn them in scene them for well over an hour, and they remained comfortable the whole time. The gold accents give an elegant feel.

Bound Noir black wrist cuffs on anonymous female hands

If you’re vegan or would prefer not to use products made from animal leather, there are many faux leather alternatives available.

Leather Wrist Cuffs Tips & Tricks

When you start playing with restraint, experiment with different positions. Not everything will be comfy for everyone. Clip your partner’s hands together behind their back, hook their arms around the bedpost, or tie their hands to something above their head. If you like attending kink parties or other play spaces, there will be all kinds of furniture to experiment with. Pair with a set of ankle cuffs for more complete restraint or a “spread-eagle” position.

Safety-wise, cuffs should be loose enough that you can slip 1-2 fingers between the cuff and the skin. Experiment with different settings and check in regularly. If the wearer experiences any numbness, tingling, or pins and needles in the hands, take the cuffs off or loosen them. Never leave a bound person alone.

Store your cuffs flat, not fastened, to keep them looking good for longer.

Beginner BDSM Toys #2: Bound to Please Hemp Bondage Rope

Ask any rope bondage practitioner about their favourite type of rope, and you’ll get wildly different but equally passionate answers. We all have our favourites. I’ve always favoured jute for its look, its feel, and the way it handles. Another popular choice is hemp. this hemp bondage rope from Bound To Please.

Hemp rope coiled from a beginner BDSM toys kit

This hemp rope retails for £12.99 for each 10 metre lengths. It is 5mm in diameter, which is my preferred rope thickness for most purposes.

The thing I love about natural fibre ropes, and hemp in particular, is the smell. Hemp rope has a distinct, sweet and woody smell smell. Natural fibres also get softer and smoother with use, as they are handled and absorb the natural oils from your skin.

Rope Tips & Tricks

Close up of part of a futomomo in hemp rope on anonymous leg
A self-tie by me

Beginners often wonder how much rope to buy, and the annoyingly vague answer is “it depends.” Factors like the size of your rope bottom and the types of ties you want to do will have an impact. If all you want to do is tie your partner to the bed for sex, a couple of lengths will be enough. For more complex formal ties, a minimum of 3 lengths will get you started.

Once you start moving beyond very basic ties, the risk involved in rope bondage increases. Suspension looks cool and can be great fun, but it is also very dangerous if not done properly. Take the time to become proficient in floor-based bondage before you even think about suspending or being suspended, and then learn how to do it under the guidance of an experienced rigger.

Make sure you can remove the rope quickly if you need to. EMT shears (the kind paramedics use) are a popular and safe option. Again, never leave a bound person alone.

Peer rope events, in-person or online classes, and instructional videos by reputable teachers are all great ways to learn bondage basics and not-so-basics. Don’t discount self-tying, either, which can be both fun and educational.

Beginner BDSM Toys #3: Bound to Please Silicone Paddle

The most common materials for spanking paddles are leather, faux leather, and hard plastic. I’d never used a silicone paddle before I received this one to try.

The Bound To Please Silicone Paddle measures 41cm long by 6cm wide. It is light and easy to handle, a breeze to clean and sterilise (just throw it in boiling water or use a body-safe medical wipe), and suitable for vegans.

BLack silicone paddle from a beginner BDSM toys kit

I tested this one out with my partner The Artist. To the best of my recollection, my reaction to the first few strikes was a string of profanity. A combination of the density of the silicone, textured surface, and slender design means this fucking thing hurts like hell.

Seriously, I don’t think I can really recommend a silicone paddle as a beginner BDSM toy. It is vicious.

Now to be clear, I love this paddle. But I am an experienced kinkster and have been doing impact play for well over a decade. Unless you have a high pain tolerance and a very clear idea of your body’s capabilities and limits, I cannot recommend this paddle to someone just starting out. You could get hurt or hurt your partner in a bad way if you start out with an impact toy this intense.

So what do I recommend instead? A wide, soft leather paddle or flexible layered paddle is a great beginner BDSM toy for curious impact players.

If you’re feeling brave enough to try this fucker, though, it retails for an affordable £24.99.

Silicone Paddle Tips & Tricks

Black silicone paddle in anoymous hand

Before you pick up a silicone paddle or any other impact toy, learn which areas of the body you can safely strike. Fleshy areas like the butt and backs of the thighs are low risk and enjoyable on most people. Front and inner thighs, breasts and chests, upper backs, and genitals can also be fun if you’re careful. Never strike the face, head, neck, spine, lower back, or any bony area or joint.

If you’re new to impact play, start slowly. Most people can take more impact, and will enjoy it far more, if you build up gradually. Unless you’ve negotiated it very explicitly with an experienced bottom, whacking someone at full force right out of the gate is a recipe for a bad time.

Remember that the goal of an impact play session isn’t to take or dish out as much as you possibly can. The goal is for everyone involved to have a good time.

When you’re negotiating a spanking session, get clear about what kind of scene you want and what impact play means to you. Playing with punishment is hot to some people and emotionally painful for others. Will power dynamics be involved or are you purely in it for the physical sensations? Will you be taking on a role, or playing as yourself?

Other Recommendations For Your First Toy Kit

When you’re just starting out in kink, you don’t necessarily want to spend a fortune on kit – especially before you’ve fully worked out what you like! Exactly what you prioritise spending your money on will, of course, depend on your interests. But here’s a few things I think you should consider for your basic all-purpose kink kit…

Thank you to The Pleasure Garden for sending me these items to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views and writing are mine.

Header image for a review of the Lovehoney Take Control bondage kit

[Kink Product Review] Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit

Published on by Amy

Sex toy kits are a fantastic idea in theory, but usually significantly less amazing in practice. Too often, they’re little more than a collection of cheap and poor-quality products shoved together in a pretty box and sold for a premium price. I’ll nearly always tell my readers to forego a kit and spend a bit more on just one or two quality items. However, I try to keep an open mind, which is why I agreed to review the Take Control Bondage Kit for beginners from Lovehoney.

Take Control: A Beginners’ Bondage Kit by Lovehoney

It’s been a very long time since I was new to BDSM. I’ve been doing kinky shit for well over a decade and have accrued a sizeable collection of toys, from basic staples to custom collars, premium impact toys, and more. So a beginner kit is not something I would ever buy for myself.

Therefore, I am trying to step back in time ten years or so in my mind, and view this BDSM starter kit through the eyes of someone who is just starting out, collecting their first beginner BDSM toys, or maybe wondering if they’re even kinky.

Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit: First Impressions

The Take Control Bondage Kit comes in one simple box, with all the products clearly displayed on the front so you know exactly what to expect. The packaging is brightly coloured and fun, reducing the intimidation factor for nervous new kinksters.

"Take Control" Lovehoney bondage kit
"Take Control" Lovehoney bondage kit in its box

There’s a LOT of information on the box, too. I appreciate that Lovehoney has provided a brief description on how to use each item as well as some basic information on safety and consent. The box reminds players to use safewords, never leave a bound person alone, and have a non-verbal safe signal if someone is gagged. It’s pretty 101-level stuff, but that’s also what a complete newcomer to kink is likely to need. Top marks for that.

I wasn’t delighted with the way the box was packed. Everything was just sort of piled in, each item wrapped in a cellophane wrapper. It’s a lot of unnecessary single-use plastic.

There is no real leather in this kit, making it vegan-friendly.

What’s in the Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit?

With that said, I think this is overall a decent beginners’ bondage kit. Many BDSM starter kits and sex toy kits generally are filled with things that aren’t even safe, let alone of good quality.

Let’s take a look at what’s inside, shall we? Just for fun, I’ve included a fun tip or an idea to try with each item in the Take Control kit. As always, pick the ones that resonate for you, leave the rest, and add your own ideas as you explore.

1: Blindfold

This blindfold is super comfy. It’s also thick and padded, meaning I couldn’t see a thing when it was on. The band is stretchy, too, so it should fit most people comfortably.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Blindfold your partner and stroke different items across their body – a silk scarf, a piece of velvet, the tails of your flogger – and have them guess what each item is.

2. Nipple suckers

I really liked these little suckers! They’re a great gentle introduction to nipple play, and perfect if you want some sensation but without the pain of nipple clamps or clothes pegs. They work for all chest sizes, from flat chests to large breasts, and most nipple sizes. If you flick or hit them too hard, they will fly off, but they can withstand some gentle manipulation.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Tell your partner to fetch you something from another room with these on. They’ll have to move carefully, though – they’ll be spanked if one falls off!

3. Ball gag

Full disclosure: I hate ball gags. I fucking hate them. They make my jaw hurt, they make me drool, and I can’t kiss my partner when I’m wearing one. They’re basically a soft limit at this point. With that said, this is a fine ball-gag if you do like them. The holes make it breathable, and silicone is a non-porous and hygienic material. I also like how adjustable this gag is. With 9 buckle holes, it will fit most people comfortably.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Make your submissive try to repeat words back to you while gagged.

4. Flogger

This is a stingy little fucker! Don’t let the small size fool you, this flogger can pack a wallop. The falls are made of thin rubber, which delivers a vicious sting when you put some force behind it. If pain isn’t your thing, you can drag it sensually across the skin for a gentle tickle. I would have liked the handle to have a bit more width and weight to it.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Try gently flogging the vulva or penis if your partner is up for it. Remember to clean your flogger thoroughly afterwards to remove any bodily fluids.

5. Wrist and ankle cuffs

These were the weakest part of the Take Control kit by far, for me. They’re quite thin and made of nylon, with no padding, which means they chafe if you put any pressure on them. They’re fine for exploring the feeling of being restrained, but if you want to pull against them at all I recommend getting some quality BDSM cuffs.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Restrain your partner then make them watch you masturbate in front of them.

6. Under-bed restraints

These are great, except for the tiny detail that they don’t fit my bed! We have a Super King bed and these restraints fit up to King Size. So they’ll be fine for the vast majority of people, but if you have a ridiculously giant bed like us, they may not fit.

These restraints are strong, durable, and easy to both set up and tuck out of sight when you’re done, if you want to. The little clips mean you can easily add any set of cuffs to them.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: when your partner is restrained, run a cube of ice along their body or drip low-temperature candle wax onto their skin.

7. Silicone suction cup dildo

Wow, a body-safe dildo in a BDSM kit! This shouldn’t be a pleasant surprise, and yet it is. This dildo measures 6″ in length and has a diameter of 1.5″. The slight curve is ideal for targeting the G-spot or prostate, and the silicone is super soft and silky. The suction cup and hollow space for a bullet vibrator are great additions.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Tease your lover’s entrance with the dildo until they beg to have it inside them.

8. Strap-on harness

This is the same harness that Lovehoney sells as part of their basic strap-on sex/pegging kit a few years ago. It’s comfortable and the rings are interchangeable so you can use it with any dildo with a flared base. However, it’s a pretty basic harness and you’ll want to upgrade to a higher-quality harness if you find you enjoy strap-on play.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: If you have a vulva, insert a wearable vibrator before you put on your harness. This will stimulate you while you penetrate your partner.

9. Wired bullet vibrator

I was fully expecting this bullet vibrator to be awful. While it’s far from the strongest bullet vibrator in the world and it is a little buzzy, it’s not a bad basic bullet for the size and price. It has several patterns as well as steady vibration speeds.

I don’t love that it’s wired rather than cordless, but the wire is long enough for one partner to control the remote while the other holds the vibrator against their genitals. The bullet takes 2x AAA batteries, which are not included.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Switch it off just when your lover is on the edge of orgasm and make them beg for release.

Lovehoney Take Control Beginners’ Bondage Kit: Verdict

On the whole, the Take Control Bondage Kit is a very solid basic beginners’ set for the price. If you’re brand new to exploring your kinks, you get a lot of bang for your buck here.

The Take Control kit retails for £79.99 UK/$99.99 US.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this kit in exchange for an honest review. If you choose to purchase this or anything else from Lovehoney, please buy through my affiliate links – it supports the blog at no extra cost to you!