strap on Archives - Coffee & Kink

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[Toy Review] Blush Novelties Neo Elite Hanky Panky Glow in the Dark Confetti Dildo

Published on March 21, 2025March 13, 2025 by Amy

On my last call with the lovely Francesca, who owns The Pleasure Garden inclusive sex shop, we discussed which strap-on compatible dildos I might want to review in some companion pieces to my Spareparts Joque review. I asked for the gayest, girliest, sparkliest items the store had in stock. And friends, as the kids say, she understood the assignment.

Along with the lesbian pride dildo I reviewed last week and a gorgeous sparkly one I’ll be talking about next week, I received another Blush dildo: this spectacular confetti-filled glow in the dark creation, the Neo Elite Hanky Panky.

What is the Neo Elite Hanky Panky?

Glow in the dark Blush dildo with confetti design

The Neo Elite Hanky Panky is a glow in the dark dildo by Blush Novelties. It measures 8″ in total length, around 6.5″ in insertable length, and 1.5″ in diameter at the widest point.

The Neo Elite is made of clear/translucent silicone filled with little confetti-style flecks in pink, purple, blue and green inside. Yes, it’s possible to get body-safe clear sex toys! You don’t need to resort to toxic jelly materials to enjoy this unique aesthetic.

The Best Things About This Blush Dildo

Multicoloured clear silicone Blush dildo pictured with close-up of suction cup

One of my hottest takes as a queer femme is that enjoying pretty things just because they’re pretty is not frivolous, but tremendously important. Beauty is not frivolous. Enjoying things, as a queer person in a world that wants to tear us down and drown us out, fucking matters. Pleasure is political.

And that’s just as true whether we’re talking about eating delicious food in defiance of diet culture or fucking my hot girlfriend with the gayest cock I can find in defiance of societal homophobia.

All this to say: I like this toy because it’s cute, colourful, and playful as fuck.

Blush clear silicone glow in the dark dildo

There are other great things to say about it too, of course. The shape is fabulous, with a medium curve and a prominent head. The silicone is pretty firm and dense, with minimal “squish”, but the shaft is flexible enough to enable comfortable positioning.

I particularly like the pronounced ridge on the underside of the head, which is ideal for both G-spot and prostate stimulation as well as stimulating the sensitive nerve endings around the vaginal/anal opening on insertion and removal. Otherwise, the shaft is smooth, making it a great choice for people who don’t enjoy the sensation of textured toys. It’s also the same width all the way down.

The large suction cup is strong, and also makes the toy anal-safe and harness compatible.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Silicone clear dildo with confetti detailing from Blush Novelties

The only thing to be aware of is that this toy’s silicone is very matte. This means it can feel “grabby” and doesn’t glide as smoothly as some softer silicones do, which some users can find uncomfortable. You can overcome this by adding tonnes of water-based lube; just be aware you’ll probably need more lubrication than usual.

Neo Elite Hanky Panky Blush Dildo: Verdict

If you love beautiful, playful aesthetics and don’t mind a more matte texture, this is a fantastic toy. It has a great shape and design, is versatile enough for different kinds of play from solo masturbation to strap on sex to anal, and is a relatively rare example of a clear/translucent toy made from a body-safe material.

The Neo Elite Hanky Panky retails for a very reasonable £38.

Thanks to The Pleasure Garden for sending me this Blush dildo to review. All views, as always, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping with them sends me a small commission at no additional cost to you.

Header image for Avant Pride P3 lesbian flag small suction cup dildo

[Toy Review] Avant Pride P3 Beauty Small Suction Cup Dildo

Published on March 13, 2025March 13, 2025 by Amy

Way back in 2018, in the early days of this blog (wow that was a different time!) I reviewed my first Avant Pride toy, the P1 rainbow dildo. I followed this up with reviews of the P4 leather pride butt plug later that year and the P8 bi pride dildo in 2021.

I still really like the P8, but I’m not so sure I identify as bisexual any more. Since entering my 30s I’ve slid further and further down the Kinsey Scale to… well, not quite a Kinsey 6, because that wouldn’t account for Mr C&K. Maybe a Kinsey 5-and-a-half? Anyway, the terms I most often use to define my sexuality now are sapphic and homoflexible, the latter meaning (to me) “basically a lesbian but with very very occasional exceptions.”

Sexuality is complicated, y’all.

You know what isn’t complicated, though? How damn good this dildo is.

Smooth Segue, Amy! So Tell Us About the Avant Pride P3 Beauty

The P3 Beauty is another of the Avant Pride range of sex toys from Blush Novelties. It is a small suction cup dildo measuring 5″ in length and 1.1″ in diameter. Its design is fairly realistic, with a pronounced head and subtle vein texturing along the shaft. The colours are based on the pink, white and orange stripes of the lesbian pride flag.

The Avant Pride P3 is made of body-safe and easy-clean silicone. It also has a suction cup, making it ideal for hands-free use and strap-on sex.

What I Liked About the Avant Pride P3 Beauty Small Suction Cup Dildo

My favourite thing about this toy, apart from the gorgeous and vibrant pride-inspired colours, is its small size. Large and oversized toys can be fun on occasion, but often when I’m craving penetration what I actually want is something a little smaller. I also like that the girth is more or less the same all the way down.

I very rarely do anal play at the moment but if you’re interested in a dildo for pegging or anal sex, a slimline toy like this one is an ideal place to start.

Avant Pride realistic small suction cup dildo in lesbian pride flag colours

The Avant Pride P3 has some of the softest silicone I’ve felt in a long time. Its texture is so delightfully velvety that I’ve been absentmindedly stroking my hand over it in between typing up this review. It has a medium density with a little squish, plenty of flex, and a very slight curve. In other words, it’s comfortable to use and easy to position in the way that works for your body.

I like that the suction cup is quite wide, relative to the diameter of the toy. This makes it stick down really firmly to any flat surface, and also makes it easy to use with my favourite strap-on harness without it slipping out or coming loose.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

No? This is a genuinely excellent toy and I can’t find a single fault with it. If you prefer larger insertables it might not be big enough to satisfy you, but for many of us a bigger dildo is not necessarily a better dildo.

Verdict

Avant Pride small lesbian flag dildo with suction cup showing

This is such an easy to use dildo! A simple yet effective design, refreshingly petite size, gorgeous queer colourway, and high quality material. It’s also versatile, anal-safe, and harness compatible. What more could you need in a basic dildo? And on top of all that, it retails for just £32.

Thanks to The Pleasure Garden for sending me the Avant Pride P3 to review. All views, as always, are mine! Affiliate links appear in this post.

SpareParts Joque Harness review header image

[Toy Review] SpareParts Joque Harness

Published on January 14, 2025January 14, 2025 by Amy

Here’s a fun fact about me that tends to surprise new lovers: I’m much more of a strap-on top than a strap-on bottom. In other words, most of the time I prefer to be the person doing the fucking rather than the person being fucked. Unfortunately, gender stereotypes and outdated ideas about power dynamics mean that those of us who fall on the femme end of the gender spectrum and/or the submissive end of the power exchange spectrum are often assumed to be bottoms by default. Well, nope! I’m a femme and a submissive-leaning switch, and I also love strapping it on and fucking my partner.

So naturally, I love getting to try out a new strap-on harness. The Pleasure Garden was kind enough to send me the hugely popular SpareParts Joque harness to try, and my girlfriend[1] was kind enough to help me test it out.

[1] Yes, I’m in a new relationship! She’s amazing. I’m very lucky and very happy.

What is the SpareParts Joque Harness?

The SpareParts Joque is a harness for strap-on sex. It comes in two sizes (A fits a belt size of 20-50″, while B fits 35-65″) and two colourways, black or purple. Both sizes feature an O-ring (that’s the ring the dildo goes through to anchor it in place) that stretches to accommodate dildos between 1.25″ and 2″ in diameter.

The Joque is made of a combination of nylon and spandex, which is both comfortable and strong as well as moisture-wicking. Though these materials are not biodegradable or sustainable, they are durable and easy to clean. This means that, with a little care, your harness should last you a lifetime and never need replacing. These synthetic materials are also suitable for those who want to avoid animal materials such as leather.

The Joque features a wide, comfortable belt that sits around the hips. There are also two leg straps that hug the upper thighs and bottom of the butt cheeks. It fastens with velcro, meaning that you can make micro-adjustments so that it fits you perfectly. It also comes with a mesh bag for washing and storage.

Aesthetically, the Joque is perhaps a little more androgynous-leaning-masc than I would go for in a totally ideal world. Requesting the purple one made it feel a lot more like “me,” though. I can also, of course, femme things up by using the girliest dildos imaginable. (Which, naturally, I did. Before our date, I literally texted my girlfriend a picture of an array of dildos to pick from, all of which were some variation of brightly coloured, sparkly, or covered in little hearts.)[2] And ultimately, functionality is always going to be more important than anything else when it comes to strap-on harnesses.

[2] Since I know you’re wondering, I ultimately paired my Joque harness with my Lovehoney Galaxy Dildo on this occasion.

What I Liked About the Joque

Retailing for £120, the Joque is not a cheap option. However, for the quality I really believe it is more than worth the price. I’ve wanted one of these for ages, and now that I’ve tried it I can understand the hype entirely.

Here are a few of the things I liked about the SpareParts Joque.

It is super easy to set up, put on, and adjust. From unboxing it to being ready to use it took me maybe one to two minutes.
The ultra-adjustable velcro waistband means that even if my body size changes (which it tends to do quite a lot), the harness will still fit me. It also means that, if you and your partner have different body sizes but both want to top for strap-on sex sometimes, you don’t need to buy two.
It’s so comfortable! I love the wide waistband, which hugs my hips rather than cutting uncomfortably into them like harnesses with narrower straps tend to do. As a curvy gal, this is tremendously important to me. This harness is often advertised as a great choice for people who want to pack, and I can understand why. It’s comfortable and unobtrusive enough to wear under your regular clothes, if you like.
A fabric flap separates the dildo from the wearer’s body. This makes a big difference to comfort, particularly if you’re going to be playing for a while. It prevents uncomfortable rubbing or chafing. However, you can also move it aside if you prefer – for example, if you want to use the harness with a double-ended toy.

There are two small pockets, above and below the O-ring, where you can insert a bullet vibrator if you like. This provides additional stimulation to the wearer. You’ll need a tiny bullet vibe for this – something around 6cm or shorter is ideal.
It’s washable. Simply handwash it in some cool water, or throw it in the washing machine on a gentle cycle. (I recommend using the included mesh bag to protect it.) We all know that we should be sterilising our dildos between uses, but many people forget that their harnesses can also hold onto bodily fluids and bacteria. This is particularly important if you have anal sex or if you use the same harness with multiple partners.

Most importantly of all, the SpareParts Joque is simply a highly usable harness. With many strap-on harnesses, I have to hold the dildo in place or keep readjusting the straps. Not so with the Joque harness. It stays exactly where I put it and keeps the dildo perfectly positioned so that I can fuck my partner and keep my hands free. This allows me to touch and pleasure them in other ways at the same time (or to keep my balance in more challenging positions!)

Anything I Didn’t Like?

The only significant downside I wanted to flag with the SpareParts Joque harness is that the O-ring does not appear to be interchangeable. This probably won’t be an issue to most people due to its flexibility – I’m certainly not likely to be using dildos larger than 2″ in diameter – but if you like to use very girthy toys with your strap-on harness, it’s something to be aware of.

I also didn’t find the vibrator pockets to be ideally positioned. When I use this harness with a bullet vibe, it doesn’t really directly stimulate my clit. It still feels nice, and ultimately it’s not a big deal as I’m more focused on my partner’s enjoyment when I’m topping anyway. But if clitoral stimulation while you’re having strap-on sex matters to you, it is a downside.

SpareParts Joque Harness: Verdict

This is, simply put, the most functional and fully featured strap-on harness I’ve ever used. It is ultra-comfortable, it allows for numerous different styles of strap-on play, and it is easy to wear and use. I think newcomers to strap-on sex sometimes feel put off because harnesses appear to be so complicated and fiddly. But that doesn’t need to be the case. Turns out you just need a harness designed by someone who understands how strap-on sex actually works.

SpareParts Joque Harness with Lovehoney Galaxy Dildo

The SpareParts Joque harness does its job, and it does it damn well.

Buy this harness from The Pleasure Garden and check out their range of dildos to pair it with. You’ll want something with a wide, flat base – a suction cup dildo is ideal.

Thanks to The Pleasure Garden for sending me the Joque harness to try out! All views and experiences are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header image for Liebe Seele review of Kinbaku Ukiyoe leather strap-on harness

[Toy Review] Liebe Seele Kinbaku Ukiyoe Leather Strap-On Harness

Published on July 18, 2024July 18, 2024 by Amy

My first strap-on harness was a super basic, no-frills thing with rough nylon straps. It did the job, just about, but that was all. I had better luck with harness pants, but ultimately they weren’t really my vibe or aesthetic. Last year, I upgraded massively with a gorgeous faux leather strap-on harness I purchased at Eroticon. And my pals at Liebe Seele just sent me the leather strap-on from their Kinbaku Ukiyoe range to try.

(Fun fact: kinbaku means “tight binding” and is a form of Japanese rope bondage. Ukiyo-e literally means “pictures of the floating world” and refers to a particular style of Japanese paintings and woodblock prints produced from the 17th-19th Centuries. These works featured subjects such as history and folk tales, travel scenes, and landscapes… but also erotica and portrayals of performers and sex workers.)

The Kinbaku Ukiyoe leather strap-on harness is made of lamb leather and suede, black on the inside and printed with a red rose pattern on the outside. Of course, if you’re vegan or otherwise object to animal leather, you’ll want to skip this one.

Kinbaku Ukiyoe Leather Strap-On Harness: What I Liked

Kinbaku Ukiyoe leather strap-on harness box

Strap-on sex isn’t something I do particularly regularly. I enjoy it, but it’s not an every-time activity. I’ve also discovered that, though I do enjoy both roles, I am more of a strap-on Top than a strap-on bottom. Which was an interesting and slightly surprising thing to learn about myself!

I pretty much always use my reliable fave harness these days but I do like to try new things. So I was excited to try out the Kinbaku Ukiyoe harness. First let’s look at the things I liked about it.

It arrived beautifully packaged and presented. The harness comes in a sturdy red box with a gold kintsugi print and a cardboard sleeve featuring a ukiyo-e style erotic image of two women having sex. The same image is printed on an included silky fabric square. In the box, the harness’s wrapping is tissue paper with the same kintsugi print. The overall effect is thoughtful and luxurious.
When I took it out of the box, I gasped at how beautiful this harness is. The rose print is striking and gorgeous, with an aesthetic somewhere between “goth” and “high femme.” The hardware is copper-plated metal in an attractive muted gold shade.
The leather and suede look and feel of excellent quality. They are soft and supple and have only become more so with handling and wear. They also have that wonderful and inimitable leather smell that I love so much.
The harness is adjustable in two places: the waistband and also the two straps that sit around the butt and between the legs. This makes it easy to adjust it to your unique body.
The included O-ring is 2.5″ in diameter but you can easily swap it out for a different size. Just unfasten the poppers and insert your preferred ring size.
It’s clearly well made and seems built to last, with neat and strong stitching and strong hardware.
It is easy to put on. Some strap-on harnesses are so confusing that by the time you’ve wrestled your way into them, all the sexiness is gone from the moment. This one takes seconds to put on and adjust.
Perhaps most importantly, it’s wonderful to wear. As I’ve already mentioned, the leather is super soft and it works with my body like a second skin. It is breathable so I don’t get too hot wearing it, and it stays in position without constant readjusting.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

My only significant complaint about this product is that it is not as size-inclusive as it could be. The harness’s waistband is adjustable from 78-116cm (around 30-45″) which will fit a lot of users but also exclude a lot of others. I’d like to see more adjustability or, failing that, a larger version also available.

Due to the design, there also isn’t anywhere to include a vibrating bullet or other toy to stimulate the wearer. This doesn’t matter to me in the slightest – when I’m strap-on Topping, I’m focusing on my partner’s pleasure and prefer not to have distractions – but it will be a downside for some users.

I also would have liked it to come with more O-ring sizes, as opposed to just one. If you want to try different ring sizes, I recommend the set of four from Sportsheets which retails for an affordable £9.99.

Verdict

A truly beautiful and well-made harness that is a joy to wear and use. Just be aware of the sizing restrictions and measure yourself to ensure it will fit you before you buy. Otherwise, I adore this harness.

The Kinbaku Ukiyoe leather strap-on harness retails for £177. Use my code Amy15 to get 15% off this or any other purchase sitewide at Liebe Seele.

Thank you to Liebe Seele for sending me this product to test and review. All views are, as always, mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header for Arosum strapless strap-on and kegel exerciser review

[Toy Review] Arosum Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On & Kegelator Kegel Exerciser

Published on November 21, 2023April 30, 2024 by Amy2 Comments

Arosum, who both sponsored this double review and recently came on board as a site sponsor, is a rare beast in this industry: a sex toy retailer that does not use gendered language in its marketing. You won’t find Arosum toys grouped into limiting and cissexist categories such as “for women” and “for men.” Instead, toys are categorised by type and body part.

This is such an easy change to make if you want to make your sex toy marketing more inclusive, and yet so many retailers fail.

Arosum kindly send me the Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On and the Kegelator Vibrating Kegel Balls to review.

Arosum Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On

Strapless strap-ons are a divisive topic in the sex toy space. Some love them and others hate them. I’ve always been quite indifferent. I had a mediocre experience with one in my twenties, and haven’t really bothered again since. So I was curious to see how I’d get on with the Arosum Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On.

Fun fact, as I discovered when doing Google keyword research for this post: Vibratwin is also the name of a dual-action floor cleaning machine!

Vibratwin strapless strap-on details

The Vibratwin is a classic strapless strap-on vibrator, with one arm to go inside the wearer and then a protruding arm for them to fuck their partner with. The main shaft measures 5.35″ in length and 1.57″ in diameter at the widest point, and the shaft for the wearer measures 5.51″ in insertable length (but is very curved) and 1.26″ in diameter at the widest point.

The Vibratwin is made of body-safe silicone in a pretty shade of green. In the box you’ll also find a remote control and a storage bag (though, weirdly, the bag isn’t really big enough for the toy unless you squish it in at a weird angle!)

The Vibratwin is IPX7 waterproof and rechargeable. The battery life – around 45 minutes on a full charge – isn’t great, but is anyone really doing penetrative sex for longer than 45 minutes at a time anyway?

In use: what I liked

I really like the curved shape of the wearer’s shaft on the Vibratwin, for two reasons:

It helps the toy to actually stay inside me
It presses very pleasurably against my G-spot

Other things I like about this toy:

The “come hither” motion of the main shaft. It feels great and it means that, if you want to have strap-on sex without a lot of thrusting, you can just slide the shaft inside your partner and let the toy do the hard work. There are 3 different speeds.
The versatility. You can control the come-hither motion and the vibrations separately. Or, if you’re not in the mood for either, just leave them switched off.
It takes much less set-up than my regular strap-on, which I love but which always requires several minutes of futzing with straps and rings before it’s ready to go.
The remote control is a really nice addition, making it easy to control the toy in use with a partner. It’s fast and responsive.
There’s no reason you can’t also use it as a solo toy, if you want.
The silicone is really soft and smooth.

Anything I don’t like?

The inevitable squeaky whine that accompanies the “come hither” motion. This isn’t really Arosum’s fault, it’s probably almost impossible to make a toy that does this motion without it, but I still hate it.
The ridges on the main shaft. These will work really well for some people but for me, that level of texturing is more likely to be painful than pleasurable. As such, I think I’d prefer to use this toy when I’m Topping (assuming my partner enjoys that texture) rather than bottoming.
The vibrations are quite weak and buzzy. I don’t really like internal vibrations anyway, though, so I’ll just keep them turned off when using this toy in the future.

Verdict

Surprisingly great! I really like this one and will definitely use it again.

The Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On retails for $9 9.

Arosum Kegelator Vibrating Kegel Balls

Arosum Kegelator vibrating kegel exerciser

I’ve written about kegel balls and their purported benefits before. Some proponents claim that they can strengthen the pelvic floor, reduce incontinence, or enhance (or make it easier to have) G-spot orgasms. The actual evidence, though, doesn’t really stack up. The data supporting the bladder control claims is minimal and contradictory, and I could find no evidence (beyond the anecdotal) to support the orgasm claims.

Kegel exercises themselves are good for you, helping to prevent incontinence and other pelvic floor problems. It’s a good idea to do them regularly. But do kegel balls or other exercisers really help? The jury is out on that one.

Due to the lack of evidence to support any health claims, I choose to look at kegel balls and kegel exercises purely as sex toys.

With that in mind, how does the Kegelator stack up as a sex toy?

The Kegelator measures 8.27″ end to end, of which 4.33″ is insertable and the rest is the tail. The insertable portion is 1.54″ wide at the widest point, and 0.79″ at the narrowest point. It’s made of body-safe silicone in a dusky pink shade and is the classic “two connected balls with a long tail” shape.

As well as vibrating, the top part of the Kegelator moves in a “come hither” motion to stimulate the G-spot.

What I liked about the Kegelator

The main thing I like about this toy is its shape. The size and slight curve of the head is ideal for seeking out my G-spot and targeting it with precision.
The remote is fast, responsive, and allows you to move between the 10 patterns and settings in either direction.
It’s comfortable enough to wear for quite a while, if you want to.
The silicone is silky soft.

Anything I didn’t like?

That whining noise again!
The fact that you can’t control the vibrations and come hither motion separately. I don’t like internal vibrations and would really like to turn them off while still using the other function!
60 minutes battery life isn’t great, especially for something you might theoretically want to wear for longer periods.
The vibrations are weak and buzzy.

Verdict

Unlike the Vibratwin, I think the Kegelator is just okay. It’s really let down by the lack of dual controls, and the buzzy vibrations will be a downside for anyone looking for powerful internal vibes.

The Kegelator Kegel Exerciser retails for $79.

Thanks to Arosum for sponsoring this review. Sponsors help to keep the site going! All views, as always, are mine.

Header image for a review of the Temptasia Harness Briefs and Jezebel dildo

[Toy Review] Temptasia Harness Briefs & Jezebel Dildo

Published on October 14, 2018May 10, 2024 by Amy

I’ve had these harness briefs and this dildo in my “to review” pile for ages.

Unfortunately, I don’t have sex with vulva owners super often, and the dildo is a little too big for my current pegging adventures with my penis-owning partner, so it took a while for me to have chance to test them. However, I’ve now tested from both the giving and receiving perspective, so I feel prepared to tell you all about them!

I’m reviewing these items together, even though you purchase them separately, because I received them – and tested them – as a pair. Do I think it’s a match made in sexy heaven? Read on to find out…

Temptasia: Affordable Delights

I’ve previously reviewed Temptasia’s jewelled butt plug, which you may recall I was really impressed with, and overall I’m a big fan of this product line from Blush Novelties. Everything is body-safe and great quality for the price.

Temptasia Harness Briefs

I LOVE these briefs! The material is a soft and stretchy black cotton/spandex blend, which makes them super comfortable against the skin. They also didn’t leave me over hot or unnecessarily sweaty.

They come equipped with a 1.5″ O-ring (slightly stretchy) which can accommodate most harness-compatible dildos or packers. There are also two strategically-placed inner pockets where you can put a vibrating bullet, ideal for giving some clitoral stimulation to the wearer.

Though I’m cis and pretty femme, I really enjoyed the masculine aesthetic of these boxer-style harness briefs. As they’re comfy enough for day to day wear, they’re ideal for trans-masculine folks who want to wear a packer as well as for play purposes. I enjoyed pairing them with my glitteriest, most ridiculously colourful femme dildo, because fucking with gendered norms is my jam.

They’re even machine washable! Just stick them on a gentle 30 degrees cycle and air-dry, and you’re good to go.

A note on sizing:

The product listing helpfully contains the waist circumference of each size of briefs. However, as they’re super stretchy, don’t worry if you’re between sizes or a bit over or under.

Mine are a size Medium. My play partner wears a UK 8 and she was able to wear these comfortably, though they were a touch big for her. I’m currently wearing a UK 16 and the Medium was, though wearable, a little on the small side. I’d be more comfortable in a size up. I’m actually seriously considering buying another pair in Large because I love them so much.

Broadly, I’d recommend a Small if you’re a size 6-10, Medium for 12-14, Large for 16-18, and XL for 18-20 (all UK sizes, I don’t know how that translates across the pond!) Sadly, XL is the largest size they go up to.

Jezebel Silicone Dildo

I was given the choice of three dildos with my Temptasia harness briefs, and I chose the Jezebel – in part for the beautiful red colour! It’s a gorgeous bright crimson, and the base is a heart shape. Cuteness galore!

The Jezebel is a 6.1″ long (5.3″ insertable) dildo with a diameter of 1.5″ and a gentle curve, making it ideal for g-spot stimulation. The flared suction-cup base makes it ideal for harness play, for sticking to surfaces for hands free fun, and even for anal play.

The Jezebel is made of 100% smooth, body-safe silicone. Clean with a sterile medical wipe or gentle soap and water, and stick it in a pan of boiling water or in the top rack of the dishwasher to completely sterilise. It’s latex and non-latex condom compatible, and will play best with water-based lube.

How do they play together?

Brilliantly! The positioning of the Jezebel dildo inside the Temptasia harness briefs was perfect for g-spot stimulation (as the receiver) and easy positioning and thrusting (as the giver). These items were clearly designed with use together in mind.

Do I recommend them?

Yes! This is the most comfortable and user-friendly strap on harness I’ve ever tried, and these items pair perfectly together. And at $29.99 for the briefs and $29.99 for the dildo, you really can’t go far wrong!

Thank you to Peepshow Toys for sending me these products to review. As ever, all views are my own. If you make a purchase through any of the affiliate links in this post, I make a small commission.

Header image for a review of the Lovehoney Take Control bondage kit

[Kink Product Review] Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit

Published on September 9, 2018May 9, 2024 by Amy

I often groan at the idea – and the reality – of sex toy kits. Too often, they’re lots of cheap and bad quality things shoved together in a pretty box and sold for a premium. If pressed for an opinion, I’ll nearly always tell my readers to forego a kit and spend a bit more on just one or two quality items. However, I try to keep an open mind, and occasionally something surprises me. The Take Control Bondage Kit from Lovehoney pleasantly surprised me.

Through the eyes of a beginner…

I’m practically a kinky veteran at this point. I’ve been practicing BDSM for about a decade and have accrued a sizeable collection of toys – expensive leather floggers, my fabulous vegan leather collar, the gorgeous hand-made whip I gave Mr CK last Christmas, our electro-play kit, and more. So beginner kits are not something I would ever normally buy for myself. Therefore, I am trying to step back in time ten years or so and view this kit through the eyes of someone who is just starting out in their kinky explorations.

Inviting and Fun Packaging…

The Take Control Bondage Kit comes in one simple box, with all the products clearly displayed on the front so you know exactly what to expect. The packaging is bright and fun, which I suspect is a deliberate choice to make it non-intimidating to the new and nervous.

There’s a LOT of information on the box, too. I really like the way that there’s a brief description on how to use each item on the back, and also that they pay attention to safety and consent! The box reminds you to use safewords, never leave a bound person alone, and have a non-verbal safe signal if someone is gagged. In this regard, I’m really impressed. It’s pretty 101 stuff, but safety/consent 101 is exactly the information that the target market for this kit needs. A+ for that.

Take Control Kit: the unboxing…

I wasn’t delighted with the way the box was packed – everything was just sort of piled in, each item wrapped in a cellophane wrapper. It would have been nicer to have an inner tray with slots for everything. Some little storage bags for the items would also be a welcome addition. Assuming you don’t want to throw everything back in the box when you’re done playing, it’s not an ideal storage solution.

With that said, I was immediately pretty impressed with what was inside the Take Control kit. Some (many) beginner BDSM kits are filled with things that are dubiously even safe, let alone of good quality.

Let’s take a look at what’s inside, shall we? Just for fun, I’ve included a fun tip or an idea to try with each item in the Take Control kit.

1: Blindfold

A black blindfold. For a post about the Take Control bondage kit.

This blindfold is super comfy. It’s nice and thick and padded, and I couldn’t see a thing when it was on. The band is stretchy, too, so it should fit most people comfortably.

Pro kink tip: blindfold your partner and stroke different things across their body – a silk scarf, a piece of velvet, the tails of your flogger – and make them guess what each item is.

2. Nipple suckers

A pair of purple nipple suckers. For a post about the Take Control bondage kit.

I really liked these! They’re a great gentle introduction to nipple play, and perfect if you want some sensation but without the pain of clamps or clothes pegs. I have pretty small nipples on fairly large breasts, and I found these stayed in place very nicely once I’d suctioned them onto my chest.

If you flick or hit them too hard, they will fly off, but they can withstand some gentle playing and wiggling.

Pro kink tip: tell your partner to fetch you something from another room with these on. They’ll have to move carefully… they’ll be spanked if one falls off!

3. Ball gag

A black ball gag. For a post about the Take Control bondage kit.

Full disclosure: I hate ball gags. I fucking hate them. They make my jaw hurt, they make my face contort into an expression that no-one could possibly find attractive, they make me drool, and I can’t kiss my partner when I’m wearing one. I. Hate. Them.

With that said, this is a good one if you like that sort of thing. The holes make it breathable, and being silicone it’s non-porous which makes it hygienic. The holes do make it somewhat of a pain to clean, so take extra care when you’re cleaning it. Warm water and gentle soap is the best way to go here.

I also like how adjustable this gag is. With 9 buckle holes, it will fit most people comfortably.

Pro kink tip: make your submissive try to repeat words back to you (try phrases like “I’m a dirty little slut”) while gagged.

4. Flogger

This is a stingy little bastard! Don’t let the small size fool you, it can pack a wallop. The falls are made of thin rubber, which delivers a vicious sting when you put some force behind it. If pain isn’t your thing, you can drag it sensually across the skin for a gentle tickle. I would have liked the handle to have a bit more width and weight to it.

Pro kink tip: Try – gently – flogging the vulva or penis if your partner is up for it. Remember to clean your flogger thoroughly afterwards.

5. Wrist and ankle cuffs

A woman's hand in a black velcro cuff. For a post about the Take Control bondage kit.

These were the weakest part of the kit by far, for me. They’re quite thin and made of nylon, with no padding, which means they chafe if you put any pressure on them at all. They’re fine for exploring the feeling of being restrained, but if you’re into rough play and would be wanting to pull against them, they’re not a good option for that.

Try restraint with these, by all means, to see if you like it. But then ditch them and get some proper cuffs. And I hope it goes without saying that you should never, EVER suspend from wrist or ankle cuffs. These are not designed to take any real weight.

Pro kink tip: Restrain your partner then make them watch you masturbate in front of them.

6. Under-bed restraints

These are great, except for the tiny detail that they don’t fit on our bed! We have a Super King bed (which is the best thing ever, seriously. I always tell Mr CK that my relationship with him and the bed is polyamorous in itself.) Turns out these restraints fit up to King Size. So they’ll be fine for the vast majority of people, but if you have a ridiculous bed like us, they may not fit.

That said, they’re still a great addition to the kit. They’re strong, durable, and easy to set up… and tuck out of sight when you’re done, if you want to. The little clips mean you can easily add different cuffs to them, so when you ditch the rubbish cuffs in this set and get some better ones, you can still use them with this restraint system.

Pro kink tip: when your partner is restrained, run a cube of ice along their body… or drip candle wax onto their skin (read up on how to do wax play safely first, of course!)

7. Silicone suction-cup dildo

Do my eyes deceive me, or… no, it’s actually a body-safe dildo in a BDSM kit! With an insertable length of 6 inches and a diameter of 1.5″, this toy is perfect for vaginal play. It’s possibly a bit ambitious for first-time anal sex or pegging, but most people could easily work up to it with a bit of time and warm-up.

The slight curve makes this dildo feel delicious for G-spot or prostate stimulation, and the silicone is super soft and silky. The suction cup is also a nice addition and makes this toy more versatile.

It’s even got a convenient hollow in the base where you can slip the bullet vibe that comes with this kit to turn your dildo into a G-spot vibrator!

Remember to use water-based lube with your silicone dildo for the best experience.

Pro kink tip: tease your lover’s entrance with just the tip of the dildo. If they want it inside, they have to thrust on to it!

8. Strap-on harness

This is actually the same harness that I bought as part of a pegging kit a few years ago. I’ve used it many, many times to top for both vaginal and anal penetration, and it’s still my favourite harness. It’s comfortable, the dildo stays in place well during thrusting, and the rings are interchangeable so you can use it with any dildo with a flared base.

Pro kink tip: If you have a vulva, put on a wearable vibrator before you put on your harness, so that you get some clitoral pleasure while you fuck your partner.

9. Wired bullet vibrator

This was the biggest surprise in the Take Control kit for me. I was fully expecting it to be awful. While it’s not the strongest vibrator in the world, it’s not a bad little bullet for the size. I was able to orgasm with it quickly and easily. It has a number of patterns as well as steady vibration speeds.

I didn’t love the wire element, but you cannot expect to get a wireless bullet for this price-point. It’s long enough for one partner to comfortably have control of the remote while the other holds the vibrator against their genitals.

Pro kink tip: switch it off just when your lover is on the edge of orgasm. Make them beg for release.

Other things to note if you’re thinking of getting the Take Control kit:

The bullet takes 2x AAA batteries, not included.
There is no real leather in the Take Control kit, making it entirely vegan-friendly.

Overall Verdict: do I recommend it?

On the whole, a very solid kit for the price. I wouldn’t recommend it to folks more experienced in kink and BDSM, but for those of you who are new and looking to explore different sensations and types of power-play, this kit is a great starting point.

The Take Control kit retails for £79.99 ($99.99 US) which is a reasonable price for the quality and variety. As you get more into your kink and discover what you like, I’d encourage you to drop more money on single items if you can – a quality, handcrafted whip or flogger will last you a lifetime, perhaps, or some really high quality natural fibre rope? But to get you started? Look no further.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this kit in exchange for an honest review. If you choose to purchase this or anything else from Lovehoney, please buy through my affiliate links – it supports the blog at no extra cost to you!