realistic dildo Archives

Header image for Mr Hankey's Toys review of Monster Dildo

[Toy Review] Mr Hankey’s Toys Monster Dildo

Published on July 15, 2024July 15, 2024 by Amy

I don’t think I (or my vagina) was feeling particularly brave when I ordered the Mr Hankey’s Monster Dildo from the website, because I chose the smallest of four available sizes. Even so, I took it out of the box and my immediate reaction was “wow, this thing is huge!”

As with the Mr Hankey’s Perfect Penis, I cannot get my entire hand around this toy’s shaft.

So how did I get on with this monster of a realistic dildo? This is the third in my series of reviews for Mr Hankey’s Toys, who are also one of my site sponsors, winner of tonnes of adult industry awards, and all-round purveyors of stellar sex toys in both the fantasy and realistic categories.

Mr Hankey’s Toys Monster Dildo

The Mr Hankey’s Toys Monster Dildo in size medium measures 9.13″ in total length, 7″ in insertable length, and 2.46″ in diameter at the widest point. Again: this is the smallest size! The remaining sizes measure 11.38″, 13.5″, and 15.75″ in total length respectively, with corresponding girth increases. If you want serious size and lots of it, you’ve come to the right place.

This toy is made of body-safe silicone and available in an array of colours from skin tones to brights, metallics, and even UV-reactive shades. You can also choose different firmness levels, from very soft to extra firm, and add a vac-u-lock hole if you wish.

In terms of firmness, 75% firmness or medium will suit most users. 75% firm is supposed to resemble a bio-cock that is 75-80% erect, and many Mr Hankey’s customers report that it feels the most lifelike of the options. Medium is closer in firmness to a fully erect penis.

What I Liked About the Monster Dildo

I found this toy challenging to use. And that’s fine – sometimes a challenge can be fun! I do prefer girth over length (hitting my cervix = ow, bad pain!) though so I’d be more inclined to reach for a girthy toy like this one if I was in the mood for a large insertable. Overall, the girthy design is excellent for those who enjoy the sensation of a stretch, but don’t desire or enjoy excessive length.

This one takes a lot of warm-up and lube for me to use it comfortably. And even then, as I said, I’d describe the experience as challenging and seriously, seriously intense.

Let’s look at some of the specific features of the Monster Dildo that I enjoyed.

I really love the shade of purple and the shimmery effect from the metallic colourway.
This is a highly realistic toy, down to the skin texturing of the balls and the detailing around the head and foreskin. It was apparently life-cast from a real penis owned by a person simply known as “The Jackpot.”
At least at this size, it stands up on its own due to the size of the base. If you want to use the toy hands-free, this makes it easier to do so as you can simply put it on a firm surface and then “ride” it.
The gentle curve is ideal for targeting your G-spot or prostate. When I’m able to get the toy inside me, it presses firmly against my G-spot in a very enjoyable way.
At the firmness level I chose (75% soft or the second softest), it’s fairly squishy and flexible. For a toy of this size, that’s going to be essential for a lot of users. If you like a lot of flex, go softer. If you prefer more rigid toys, go firmer.
The large base makes it anal-safe, if that’s your thing. There was no universe in which this thing was going in my butt, but it can safely go in yours if you’d like. (Obligatory disclaimer: if you’re putting something of this size in your butt, go S L O W L Y. Use even more lube than you think you need. To be fair, that actually applies to vaginal use as well, but the butt isn’t self-lubricating so you’ll need to be even more careful.)

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Personally, I don’t like the pronounced ridge on the underside of the Monster Dildo’s shaft. Even with plenty of lubrication, I consistently found it made insertion uncomfortable. Once the toy was fully inserted, I could still feel the ridge in a way that was pretty distracting.

Like the other Mr Hankey’s Toys I’ve tried, the silicone is very matte. I would have preferred a smoother silicone for a toy of this size. With that said, a smoother silicone would lessen the realistic effect of the toy’s appearance, so it’s a trade-off. As you can probably see in the photos, it also gathers lint and dust.

The texturing can make the Monster Dildo take a little longer to clean. This isn’t really a problem, just something to be aware of. You’ll want to make sure you’ve got all bodily fluids and lube out of the little creases.

Due to its size, the Monster Dildo is also pretty heavy. It’s just about manageable at this size but I have to imagine that the larger versions could be quite difficult to hold and manipulate in use.

Verdict

Honestly, the final analysis is that even in the smallest size this toy is bordering on too large for me. And that’s fine – I am not really the target market for very large toys. But you might be, and this is an excellent choice if so! So many large toys are not body-safe, so it is nice to have somewhere to point my readers for oversized toys that are also safe and well-made.

And make no mistake, this is a beautifully designed toy. The attention to detail is excellent and the array of colours and effects on offer means that you can truly make it your own.

I like having this in my collection but I don’t think it will be going in my body very often. I can enjoy it occasionally, but it’s going to be a once-in-a-while thing and probably revolve around enjoying the challenge as part of a kink dynamic.

The Monster Dildo’s pricing begins at $140.95 for the size Medium in a standard colourway. Going up in size, adding effects, and adding a vac-u-lock hole all add to the price.

Thanks to Mr Hankey’s Toys for sponsoring this review! All views are, as always, my own.

Green sparkles falling down a black background. Header image for Mr Hankey's Toys Perfect Penis review

[Toy Review] Mr Hankey’s Toys Perfect Penis

Published on May 17, 2024May 17, 2024 by Amy

I arrived home to find my shipment of products from Mr Hankey’s Toys waiting for me (discreetly packaged) on my doorstep. My first thought when I picked up the box was “bloody hell, these things are heavy!” When I opened the box, I understood why, as I was greeted by three gigantic hunks of silicone. This is the first of the three.

I requested the Perfect Penis in the medium, which is the second smallest available size, because I am not a size queen by any stretch of the imagination. I’d read the dimensions, but apparently hadn’t fully grasped the meaning of them. So imagine my expression when I realised that:

This thing is the size of my fucking forearm.
I cannot get my entire hand around its shaft.
This is only the second of four sizes.

Mr Hankey’s Toys Perfect Penis: Details

Mr Hankey's Toys Perfect Penis green silicone dildo

The Mr Hankey’s Toys Perfect Penis in medium measures just under 11″ in total length and around 8″ in insertable length, with a circumference of 7″ (that’s a diameter of 2.2″.) There are various customisation options available for this toy. You can choose your size and level of firmness, whether or not to add a vac-u-lock hole, as well as a colour and colour effect.

As its name implies, the idea of this toy is that it is as close to a “perfect penis” as one can get. Mr Hankey’s Toys used AI to analyse an array of studies on preferred penis sizes and dimensions and create a range of dildos offering “the perfect balance of length and width.” The result is a realistic toy that includes a pronounced head, detailing such as a foreskin and frenulum, a textured shaft with veins, and realistic balls.

I can’t say I’ve ever had particularly strong opinions about penises, or indeed about what makes one perfect. I tend to be far more interested in the humans they’re attached to, and the actual shape and size of them is of far less interest to me. And, of course, what makes a body part perfect is inherently a subjective and personal question. Still, it was interesting to see this toy, the result of extensive analysis of folks’ penis preferences.

The Perfect Penis is made from body-safe matte silicone. I ordered mine in metallic green, just because I like green and I like unusual colours for my sex toys sometimes.

What I Like About the Mr Hankey’s Toys Perfect Penis

The Mr Hankey’s Toys Perfect Penis is, objectively and by all measures, an excellent dildo.

I chose the 75% soft, which is the second softest of four available options. According to the company, this mimics a bio penis that is at around 75-80% erect. This was definitely the right choice. I enjoy firm toys sometimes, but for this kind of size, a soft and squishy texture was definitely called for. It’s great that you can customise the toy’s firmness to your preferences. For me, being able to go for a softer and more flexible option made this toy far more useable and enjoyable.

I also particularly like the pronounced head and the additional stimulation it offers as you insert the toy.

The Perfect Penis’s matte silicone gives a fairly lifelike skin texture, and the overall realistic detailing on the toy is excellent. Of course, you can choose one of the flesh tones available if you want to make your toy even more realistic. I prefer bright colours that don’t resemble actual dicks, but your mileage may vary.

Using this toy is a challenge for me, though it certainly won’t be for everyone. I generally prefer girth over length for insertables, because anything hitting my cervix is painful, so it works best when I use just the first three inches or so of the toy’s shaft. Even then, plenty of warmup and tonnes of lube is essential.

Because it’s so bottom-heavy, this toy actually stays put in an upright position very well by itself. So if putting it down on a firm surface and using it hands-free is your thing, you can do that.

Also thanks to this base, the Perfect Penis is anal-safe. I, however, am not that brave so I did not attempt this.

If you decide to try giant dildos like this one, remember to take things slowly and use even more lube than you think you really need. I’m going to write a piece on safely and comfortably using very large toys soon, so look out for that. In the meantime, taking your time and listening to your body are the most important things you can do.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

My only real difficulty with the Perfect Penis was its weight. Because it’s a giant piece of solid silicone, it’s got some serious weight to it. This is something you’ll want to be aware of if holding and manipulating heavy toys is difficult for you.

The only other downside is that I can’t use it for strap-on sex. The balls and base are far too big to make it harness-compatible. I suspect their might be a market for a body-safe, strap-on-friendly toy of these dimensions, though. Other reviewers have noted that the Perfect Penis in size small is great for strap-on play.

It’s also worth noting that the Perfect Penis’s silicone is very matte and quite grabby. This isn’t really a complaint as such, but it makes plenty of lube even more essential.

This is admittedly a small gripe, but I didn’t love that the toys came shrink-wrapped in single-use plastic. I understand this might be for hygiene reasons, but silicone is so easy to sterilise and I always recommend cleaning a toy thoroughly before you use it for the first time anyway. Reusable storage bags, or ditching the individual packaging entirely, would be more eco-friendly.

Verdict

Readers often ask me for recommendations for very large dildos, and I sometimes struggle to know what to suggest. Many companies offering huge toys make them out of unsafe and porous materials to save money. So I am pleased to have somewhere to point size lovers looking for quality and body-safe products.

As for me? The Mr Hankey’s Toys Perfect Penis is definitely going to be a “once in a while”, not a “reliable staple”. But those can be fun too!

The Mr Hankey’s Toys Perfect Penis starts from $125.95 for the small size in a single colour, with prices going up as you move up the sizes and add customisations. But if size and more size is what you desire, you can’t go far wrong with this one.

Thanks to Mr Hankey’s Toys for sponsoring this review. This means they paid me to write a fair and honest review. All views and experiences are, as always, my own.

[Toy Review] Lezovibes 6-in-1 Thrusting Heating Telescopic & Squirming Dildo

Published on January 3, 2024April 30, 2024 by Amy

Happy new year, my friends! I hope you’ve had a relaxing holiday season and new year, no matter what you celebrate or don’t. I’m back at work now, which means it’s time to start ploughing through my review queue.

First up, the Lezovibes 6-in-1 Thrusting Heating Telescopic & Squirming Dildo, which was kindly sent to me recently. Considering the absolute mouthful of its full name, I’m gonna just call it the Lezovibes Thrusting Dildo from here on out. Let’s take a look, shall we?

Lezovibes 6-in-1 Thrusting Dildo

This realistic dildo measures 8.6″ in total length (6.3″ insertable) and offers a thrusting extension of an additional 1.5″. It measures 1.59″ in diameter at the widest point.

The “6-in-1” refers to its 6 key features: thrusting, heating, vibrating, swinging, rotating, and remote-controllability. There’s also a suction cup and large “balls” base, making it harness-compatible if you like.

The Lezovibes Thrusting Dildo is made of body-safe and non-porous silicone and passes a flame-test. The silicone is extremely matte, so don’t forget to add plenty of water-based lube particularly if you’re using the thrusting function.

This toy is IPX6 waterproof. This means it can withstand jets of water but is not submersible. In other words, clean it under the tap but don’t take it in the bath with you. The remote control is not waterproof.

The Lezovibes Thrusting Dildo is rechargeable via the included USB cable, and a full charge took around 2 hours and gives up to 60 minutes of runtime depending on the settings you’re using.

Things I Like About This Toy

Let’s start with the good. Retailing at a middle-of-the-road $69.99, the Lezovibes Thrusting Dildo does have several positive points to recommend it.

It does a lot of different things! If you’re newer to toys or just want to get something quite versatile, then a toy with lots of different features is a great choice for you. As mentioned, this thrusting dildo also vibrates, rotates, swings, and heats up. Pretty impressive array of options, there!
The outer layer of silicone is squishy and pliable, and the toy has a firm core. This gives a kind of “dual density” effect that more realistically mimics a bio-cock.
Speaking of realism, the lifelike aesthetic is great if you like that sort of thing, from the veined shaft to the textured balls and foreskin. To be entirely honest I don’t particularly like that kind of thing, personally. Hyper-realism isn’t really my vibe. However, it appeals to a lot of people and I’m continually getting asked for recommendations for realistic toys.
The thrusting function feels great in use. (The swinging function is really just a slight variation on the thrusting and I couldn’t feel much difference between them.)
The suction cup is strong and holds the toy firm on a surface, even when the various functions are switched on.
The heating function! A sex toy that warms up in use is one of those things you never knew you needed until you try it. I started feeling the warmth around 30 seconds after I switched the heating function on. It heats to 42°C.
It has ten different vibrating modes, and the motor is positioned so that the vibrations are concentrated in the head of the toy. For most users, that’s gonna be where you want them.
As it has a large base (thanks to the balls and suction cup), this toy is both vaginal-safe and anal-safe.
The rigidity makes it great for strap-on sex.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

There were also a few issues that let this toy down. They include:

The controls are needlessly complicated and confusing. I actually had to email the company because I COULD NOT get mine to work at all and I was convinced I had a dud one for a while. It did eventually start working, but the controls are still far more confusing than they need to be.
The button in the base is really, really hard to push in a way that’s extremely annoying. I literally have to use the thumbs of both hands, one on top of the other, to get it going or switch it off.
Like all thrusting toys, it makes a high-pitched mechanical whining noise in use. I can’t hold this against Lezovibes in particular, though – even at the premium end of the market, the technology just isn’t there yet to make silent thrusting toys.
The vibrations are weak and buzzy.
I can’t feel the rotating function at all so I’m not really sure what the point of this is.
The remote control’s responsiveness is variable. It responds about 75% of the time in my experience, but that’s a high enough failure rate to be intensely annoying.
It’s a little too straight for me. I would have preferred it to have a little more curve and flex.

Verdict

Lezovibes thrusting dildo suction cup dildo attached to black shower tiles

With the acknowledgement that realistic dildos aren’t really my thing (but may well be yours,) I still found quite a few things to like in the Lezovibes Thrusting Dildo. Overall, it’s a mixed bag. Though the many different functions are a good way to explore new sensations, I think this toy is trying to do too many things. It’s better to do fewer things and do them really well than to try to cram every feature under the sun into a single toy.

More than anything, though, please sort out those controls. It’s so needlessly complicated to use and that means people will just end up not using a bunch of the functionalities that make up its main selling points.

Thanks to Lezovibes for sponsoring this review! All views, as ever, are mine.

Header image for Valm Silicone Dual Density Dildo review

[Toy Review] Valm 8″ Silicone Triple Density Dildo

Published on December 6, 2023April 30, 2024 by Amy

Valm is a US-based company, founded by long-time adult industry professionals, that has been designing and manufacturing body-safe sex toys since 2015. The company’s product line is currently small, focusing on dual density and triple density sex toys made of body-safe platinum cure silicone. I received the 8″ triple density dildo to try out.

Valm Toys: A Range of Options

Valm produces realistic silicone dildos in a range of sizes and colours, as well as two different density options. You can choose 6″, 8″, 10″, or 12″ for your toy’s length, with corresponding girth sizes of 1.49″, 1.65″, 2″, or 2.4″ in diameter respectively. I received the 8″ version at my request.

The Valm Triple Density Dildo, a bright orange and pink silicone realistic dildo

The standard colour options are tan, brown, or black. However, you can also order a custom toy in a two-colour fade, with a range of colours to choose from. I picked the bright orange to pink fade for mine, partly because it’s an unusual look for a sex toy and partly because it reminds me of a particularly vibrant sunset. (The colours are so bright. I have never seen a sex toy quite this orange. Seriously, it practically glows in the dark!)

Look and Feel

My Valm Triple Density Dildo has an impressively lifelike aesthetic including a veined shaft, pronounced head, wrinkled skin-like texturing around the base of the head to represent the foreskin, and textured balls. If you want a dildo that really looks like an actual penis, you could do much worse than a Valm toy in one of the available skin colour shades.

The Valm Triple Density Dildo’s outer layer silicone is very matte, which can make it feel quite grabby against the skin. This means that sufficient lubrication is particularly important. It also means it hangs on to lint and dust, so you’ll want to give it a quick wipe down before use if it’s been sitting in storage for a while.

What Does “Triple Density” Mean Anyway?

In a nutshell, a triple density dildo is made up of three layers of silicone. Valm says that their triple density toys feature “a hard inner core, gel-like middle layer, and soft outer layer.”

The main draw of a dual density or triple density dildo is that it feels more like a real penis. The Valm Triple Density Dildo has a firm core, slightly squishy middle layer, and a soft outer “skin” – just like an erect cock. Valm uses a silicone gel for the middle layer.

What’s the Difference Between a Triple Density and Dual Density Dildo?

Dual density sex toys have been on the market for some time, but triple density toys such as this one are much less common. If you’re new to this type of toy, you might be wondering which to go for.

Both dual density and triple density toys feel great, and offer a more lifelike experience compared to an ordinary single density silicone dildo. Here are a few things you’ll want to consider in making your choice:

A triple density dildo will cost more than a dual density one, simply because it uses more materials and requires more complex construction. For reference, the Valm 8″ retails for $109 in dual density and $129 in triple density.
All things being equal, triple density will provide a slightly more “realistic” feel. That is, if you want a toy that feels as much like a human penis as possible, choose triple density. If you’re happy to compromise somewhat on realism for the sake of cost, go for dual.
A triple density toy’s “layers” will be easier to move, whereas they’re likely to be less malleable and require more force to move in a dual density toy.

Both dual density and triple density dildos are easy to clean (toss it in the dishwasher or a pan of boiling water,) compatible with water-based and oil-based lubes, and body-safe.

Valm Silicone Triple Density Dildo In Use

The Valm Triple Density Dildo is more flexible than I expected, and definitely more flexible than your average erect human cock! I love this about it, though. Its shaft is basically straight, but the flexibility allows me to get the curve I need to target my G-spot effectively.

I also really love the squish and softness of this toy. When it’s properly lubricated, the skin-like texture of the outer silicone makes it a joy to use. I was a little surprised by how squishy the head is. This was a plus point for me in this case, but if you prefer very firm toys it might not provide enough pressure for you.

I’m not a big fan of a lot of texture on insertable toys, as I tend to find it painful or uncomfortable rather than pleasurable. The Valm dildo’s texturing on the shaft is subtle enough that I really can’t feel it, though, and the pronounced head is ideal for G-spotting without being so pronounced as to make insertion painful.

Other Uses and Considerations

Being a large hunk of triple density silicone, the Valm realistic dildo isn’t the lightest thing in the world. I don’t have an issue with heavy toys, but it’s something to be aware of if they are tricky for you. It’s easy to hold, with the suction cup and balls providing a convenient handle for thrusting even for my small hands.

Valm dildos are harness-compatible thanks to the balls and suction cup. However, I find mine is slightly too flexible to be ideal for strap-on sex. It’s certainly useable, but I tend to prefer slightly firmer dildos for this purpose as they make it easier to consistently get the right angle (and to avoid unintentionally slipping out of my partner.)

The Valm Triple Density Dildo, a bright orange and pink silicone realistic dildo, stuck to black shower tiles

The suction cup is strong and firm, allowing you to attach the dildo to a surface for hands-free fucking, if you like. It doesn’t detach until you want it to. And, since the balls and suction cup form a kind of base, it’s anal safe if that’s your thing.

Verdict

This is my first triple density dildo, and I’m a big fan. Valm’s design is realistic in both look and feel, and – for me at least – offers the ideal blend of firmness, flex, and squish.

A winner.

Thanks to Valm Toys for sending me this product to review. This review was sponsored, meaning I received a fee in exchange for this honest and unbiased review. All views are, as always, mine.

Bestvibe CYRUS thrusting realistic dildo

Review: Bestvibe CYRUS Classic Swing&Heat Thrusting Realistic Dildo

Published on January 6, 2023April 30, 2024 by Amy2 Comments

Happy new year, friends! 2022 was a rough one and I’m not naive enough to say “2023 is going to be my year!” We’re all still facing ongoing challenges due to *gestures vaguely at everything*. Personally, I’ll be satisfied if 2023 reaches the bar of “better than 2022.”

With that said, it’s time to dive into my very first review of the new year: the CYRUS Classic Swing&Heat Thrusting Realistic Dildo from Bestvibe.

Bestvibe CYRUS Classic Swing&Heat Thrusting Realistic Dildo

Bestvibe approached me right before the holidays to ask if I’d be interested in reviewing any of their products. Since I get asked about recommendations for both realistic toys and thrusting toys all the time, I thought I’d choose this one, which ticks both of those boxes.

The CYRUS Classic Swing&Heat Thrusting Realistic Dildo is designed to closely resemble a bio-cock. It is impressively detailed, with a veined shaft, textured balls, a pronounced head, and even skin texturing at the base of the head. If you’re looking for a highly detailed realistic toy without breaking the bank, look no further.

The CYRUS measures 9″ from base to tip, of which 7″ is insertable length, and 1.59″ in diameter at the widest point. This makes it a little larger than the average factory-installed penis, but not scarily huge. Due to the internal mechanisms and dense silicone, it weighs in at a hefty 490g. It features a suction cup base, allowing for hands-free play or harness compatibility for strap-on sex.

The CYRUS is made of body-safe silicone. Since the texture is quite similar to some TPE/TPR toys I’ve handled, I flame tested it to be sure, and I’m pleased to say it’s definitely silicone. (The lack of any discernible smell also tipped me off that it’s real silicone.) Body safety is often sacrificed in favour of “real feel” materials when it comes to realistic toys, so I’m always delighted to find safe, non-porous alternatives.

The CYRUS is IPX5 waterproof, meaning it can withstand a sustained, low-pressure spray of water such as that from a home tap. This means you can safely get your toy wet to wash it, but shouldn’t submerge it in water. It is rechargeable via the included cable and comes with a battery-operated remote control (1 x 27A 12V battery is included.)

The CYRUS retails for a very reasonable $77 and is currently on sale at $66.

Settings and Controls

There are two ways to control the CYRUS: via the button on the base or via the remote control. Using the button, you’ll be able to scroll through 9 different patterns of vibration and their corresponding inbuilt thrusting patterns (there are 3 different thrusting patterns.)

With the remote, you can enjoy a much finer level of control, pairing any of the 3 thrusting and rotating modes with any of the 9 vibration patterns for a completely customisable experience. You can also use either the vibrations or thrusting separately, if you like.

The button on the base of the toy is a little stiff and requires quite a firm press. The buttons on the remote control, on the other hand, are easy to press. The toy’s responsiveness to the remote is fast and reliable, and the range of the remote is 10 metres.

In Use

The CYRUS’s realistic design is ideal for users looking for the most lifelike experience possible from a toy. The shaft is rigid most of the way along, though the soft and squishy head (the last inch or so) really makes a positive difference from a comfort and ease of use perspective. The pronounced and ridged head is ideal for G-spotting.

I also really love the dual density feel. This means that the toy has a firm core on the inside, and a softer layer on the outside. Like an erect penis, in other words!

The CYRUS’s thrusting mechanism feels amazing in use. If you have a vulva and enjoy dual stimulation, try using it hands-free (or asking a partner to use it on you) and pairing it with your favourite clitoral vibe. I actually prefer to use the thrusting mode alone, because I’m not the biggest fan of internal vibrations. Though it’s far too large for me to have tried it in this way personally, the CYRUS is also anal-safe if that’s your jam.

One of my favourite features of the CYRUS is its “warming” function. Press the little flame icon on the remote, and the toy will warm to 38℃ (just very slightly above human body temperature). This really enhances the experience if you’re looking for a toy that feels as realistic as possible. Instead of cool silicone, you can mimic the natural warmth you’d feel with a partner’s cock.

The CYRUS’s silicone is quite “grabby” due to its matte texture. Therefore, I’d really recommend using plenty of lubricant for a comfortable experience. Any water-based lube will work. It will also pick up dust and lint in storage, so give it a quick wipe before each use.

The vibrations aren’t massively strong and are a little buzzy, but they are concentrated in the head of the toy. If you like really powerful G-spot vibrations, this one might not be for you. But if you’re happy with gentler vibes (or mainly here for the thrusting function, as I was) this shouldn’t be too much of a problem.

Volume-wise, the vibrations are very quiet. The thrusting mode isn’t exactly loud, but it does have a very distinctive sound that’s best described as a repetitive, high-pitched whirr. The suction cup is strong and stays in place well on every surface I’ve tried it on.

Verdict

I really like this one! If I’m honest, realistic dildos aren’t often my thing, aesthetically speaking. I tend to prefer more abstract, colourful (and occasionally glittery) designs. But functionally, it absolutely gets the job done and comes with some great extra features. If I was going to recommend one body-safe, realistic toy that is very reasonably priced, it might be this one.

Thanks to Bestvibe for sending me the CYRUS to review. All views are, as always, my own. This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write an honest review.

Header image for Edward realistic dildo review

[Toy Review] BMS Addiction Edward Realistic Dildo

Published on August 9, 2021May 9, 2024 by Amy1 Comment

Today’s review is the third and final in my series featuring the new Addiction range from BMS (check out Luke and Steven if you haven’t already!) The final toy in the series is the Edward realistic dildo.

Let’s take a closer look.

Edward Design & Materials

The Edward is a realistic dildo in a pale white flesh tone. It is gently curved and features lifelike detailing on the shaft and a pronounced, realistic-looking head.

The Edward is made of 100% silicone, which is non-porous and body-safe (it’s also easy to sterilise – just pop the toy in a pan of boiling water for 10 minutes, and any germs or bacteria will be killed). The material is very soft and squishy, making it a great entry point for people new to insertable toys… or just a good choice if you know you don’t like things too rigid.

The Edward measures 6″ in total length (5.5″ insertable) and 1.5″ in diameter at the widest point. It features a suction cup base, which makes it ideal for both hands-free solo play and strap-on sex. This is probably the most ideal toy from the Addiction range for strap-on play, as it doesn’t have balls (which can make it trickier to keep a toy in place in a harness). Thanks to the flared base, you can also safely use the Edward for anal play.

Like the other Addiction toys I’ve tried, the Edward comes with a mini single-speed vibrating bullet. It requires 3 x LR44 watch batteries, which are included.

Edward Realistic Dildo In Use

The Edward is by far my favourite of the realistic dildos I’ve tried from the BMS Addiction range.

Lifelike suction cup dildo affixed to shower wall

When it comes to inserting the toy, the matte silicone can be quite grabby against your skin. Using plenty of water-based lube is the best way to ensure maximum comfort and pleasure. Shape and design wise, I found the Edward easy to insert and manipulate. The suction cup makes a convenient “handle”.

The best thing about the Edward compared to the other Addiction toys I’ve reviewed is its curved shape. If you’re looking for precision G-spot or prostate (P-spot) action, a curved dildo is the way to go. The Edward’s curve works brilliantly for my body. Combined with the pronounced head, it makes targeted G-spotting easy.

This dildo is more “average” in size than the larger Steven and Luke, but that can be a good thing. I don’t particularly gravitate towards size when it comes to dildos – shape (the aforementioned curve) is far more important. Considering that the average erect penis is supposedly about 5.1″ inches in length (source), the Edward is likely to feel closer to being penetrated by a human lover.

Steven and Edward realistic dildos in flesh coloured silicone — Edward and Steven side by side for comparison

If I have one complaint, it’s that I would have preferred the Edward to be a little bit firmer. Some flex in a toy can be nice, but this is maybe a little too flexy to be completely ideal. Of course, your mileage may vary and if you don’t like too much firmness or pressure, the Edward might be your dream dildo.

About That Bullet Vibe…

If you’ve read my previous Addiction reviews, you’ll know what I think of the included vibrating bullet. Tl;dr version: it’s a weak, buzzy waste of time. If manufacturers are going to include bonus vibrators with their dildos, I wish they’d do it properly. Otherwise, I wish they just wouldn’t bother. Leaving them out would reduce the overall price of the product a little, and there are far better bullet vibes on the market.

Black mini bullet vibrator for clitoral pleasure

I also worry about including a mini bullet in with a toy that is clearly aimed primarily at the beginner market. Why? Because when I was new to sex toys, I tried this type of weak vibrator. When I couldn’t get off with it, when it numbed my clit and left me confused and frustrated, I thought there was something wrong with me.

Sex toy beginners, please hear this: there’s nothing wrong with you if you can’t get off with a weak and buzzy vibe, or indeed any toy. You just need to find what works for your body.

Verdict

Overall, the Edward is a nice realistic dildo that does its job well. It’s well designed, safe, and suitable for a range of different purposes including hands-free penetration, strap-on sex, and anal play.

Best of all, the Edward retails for a very affordable £22.83. I’m so pleased to see more and more affordable body-safe toys hitting the market all the time. Being on a budget doesn’t need to mean settling for crap quality or unsafe materials!

Thanks to The Pleasure Garden for sending me this toy to review. All views, as ever, are my own. You can support the site by shopping through the affiliate links in this post.

Header image for review of BMS Luke semi-realistic dildo

[Toy Review] BMS Addiction Luke Semi-Realistic Dildo

Published on August 6, 2021July 5, 2024 by Amy1 Comment

Last week, I reviewed the Steven from the new Addiction range by BMS. This line of silicone dildos are designed to be both body-safe and affordable. Today we’re looking at another toy from the range: the Luke semi-realistic dildo.

Materials and Design: A Closer Luke

(Sorry. You knew there’d be puns).

The Luke from BMS’s Addiction range is a silicone semi-realistic dildo. I say semi-realistic because the Luke is realistic in shape, complete with a lifelike veined shaft, detailed head, and textured balls, but definitely not realistic in colour, with its gorgeous and unusual blue and white marbling effect. Prefer pink? The Brandon is the same design in equally cute pink and white.

As someone who generally prefers playful and unusual colourways rather than flesh tones for my toys, I gravitated to the Luke’s striking aesthetic straight away.

The Luke measures 7.5″ in length (5″ insertable) and 1.5″ in diameter. Being silicone, it’s completely body-safe and simple to keep clean. Be aware that this silicone is very matte, meaning it can feel a little “grabby”. Plenty of water-based lube will give you a smoother and more enjoyable experience.

Matte silicone is also a nightmare for attracting dust and lint, so always give it a quick wipe down before use, even if it’s been sterilised. You don’t want to introduce unnecessary gunk into your sensitive areas!

BMS Addiction semi-realistic dildo with suction cup

The Luke features a strong suction cup for hands-free use, is harness-compatible if strap-on play is your jam, and comes with a mini vibrating bullet (batteries included). Thanks to its large base, the Luke is also safe for anal play.

Luke In Use

Putting them side by side, we can see that the Luke is the more colourful twin of the Steven. They’re physically the same in shape, size, and texture. This means that, for the same reasons, the Luke wasn’t a good match for my preferences.

It’s comfortable to insert and easy to angle, which are definitely points in its favour. But I have a very strong preference for insertable toys with a pronounced curve. They just target my G-spot much more easily. The Luke is also a little too squishy and flexible to give me the G-spot pressure I’m really after.

What About the Bullet Vibe?

I never expect much from the mini bullets that are sometimes included with dildos. They’re clearly an afterthought on the part of the manufacturer, and it shows.

Though I will say that the bullets included with the BMS range have given me an idea for a creative orgasm control/mindfuck scene: “if you really need to cum, you’ll be able to get off with this crappy little buzzy thing. If not, guess you don’t actually need it!” So, you know, I can still eroticise shit sex toys sometimes!

If you’re buying the Luke or any other dildo in the BMS Addiction range, consider the bullet an unnecessary add-on that probably won’t do much. If you’re looking for a vibrator specifically, there are far better options on the market!

You Might Like the Luke If…

If you like softer dildos with plenty of flex, the Luke will be a great match for you. This softer silicone is a great step up for people who have tried TPE/TPR/jelly dildos and are looking for something safer but with the same squish and softness.

The Luke is also a great choice for people who like straighter toys. Some people find the intense G-spotting of curved toys painful, or just enjoy the deeper penetration that a toy like the Luke can provide. If that’s you, then snap this one up!

But It Might Not Suit You So Well If…

If you prefer more rigid toys for penetration, look elsewhere. If intense G-spot pressure or firmness does it for you, the Luke is unlikely to be a good fit. Similarly, if you enjoy curved toys for precision G-spot (or prostate) targeting, the Luke won’t be the best choice for you.

Final Thoughts

The Luke wasn’t a great fit for my body, simply because I prefer something a little more rigid and a little more curved for penetrative. But that doesn’t mean it’s not a great toy! If you’re after a soft, body-safe, semi-realistic dildo with a fun aesthetic, you can’t go far wrong.

The Luke retails for £39.55. I’m assuming that the higher price-point compared to the Steven and other single-colour options is due to the additional labour involved in producing the lovely swirled marble effect. It’s still well priced for the quality and will last you years.

Thanks to The Pleasure Garden, a wonderful feminist sex shop, for sending me this toy to review. All opinions are, as always, entirely my own. Shopping through the affiliate links in this post supports my work at no extra cost to you!

Header image for BMS Steven realistic dildo review

[Toy Review] BMS Addiction Steven Realistic Dildo

Published on July 26, 2021May 9, 2024 by Amy2 Comments

As many of you know by now, I’m a big proponent of making quality sex toys more affordable. There are still too many poorly made, poor quality toys on the market, many of which are made from harmful and toxic materials. That’s why I was excited to try the BMS Steven, part of the new Addiction realistic dildo range.

Over the coming weeks, I’ll also be reviewing the Edward and the Luke from the same range in partnership with The Pleasure Garden, a delightful woman-owned and inclusive online sex shop.

Meet Steven: Materials and Design

Addiction by BMS is a new range of realistic dildos made from 100% silicone. Unlike the TPE, TPR, jelly, and mystery materials that make up many cheap realistic sex toys, silicone is non-porous, non-toxic, and completely body-safe.

The silicone used for this toy is particularly matte and very flexible. I have to admit, when I first took it out of the packaging, part of me was questioning whether it was really pure silicone at all. It feels very different to any silicone toy I’ve encountered before. I flame-tested it to be sure (don’t try this at home!) and luckily it passed, so you can rest assured it’s definitely silicone. The things I do in the name of sex journalism!

Realistic dildo from BMS - Steven lifelike sex toy

If you’ve used TPE/TPR toys and enjoyed the texture, this would be a good upgrade. You’ll get much of the same squishiness and flexibility, only in a non-porous toy. If you prefer very soft, silky or smooth silicone, this toy might not be for you.

It also attract lint (and, in my house, cat hair) like whoa. Always give it a wipe down or a quick wash before use.

The Steven is a straight realistic dildo with impressive detailing including lifelike veins on the shaft, a contoured head, and textured balls. It measures 7.4″ (19cm) in total length, of which around 5″ are insertable, and measures 1.5″ (3.8cm) in diameter at the widest point.

BMS Steven bullet vibe and realistic sex toy

It also comes with a suction cup base, and with an accompanying single-speed miniature bullet vibe (which requires 3 LR44 watch batteries, included.) There isn’t a slot to insert the vibe into the toy, so it needs to be held and operated separately.

In Use

I found the BMS Addiction Steven easy and comfortable to insert and use. Its flexible shaft means you can angle it in exactly the way that works for you as you insert it. Because the silicone is so grabby, I recommend using a LOT of lube. I used Promescent aloe lube because it happened to be the nearest bottle to the bed at the time, but any water-based lube will work.

Personally, I don’t love the shape of the Steven. I much prefer curved toys for internal stimulation. Straight toys like this one tend to poke my cervix (ow) more easily than they hit my G-spot.

I also found it quite hard to angle the Steven once it was inserted as it’s so flexible. I like my toys to have some flex (erm, there are exceptions) but there’s such a thing as too much of a good thing. The Steven was too bendy and not firm enough for me.

Of course, bodies are all different! This isn’t a judgement on the toy’s quality, just on how well it worked for me. If you prefer straight shaped toys or lots of flex, it might be the perfect match for you.

The accompanying vibe is, I’m sorry to say, a complete waste of time if you like anything other than fairly weak and VERY buzzy stimulation. It only has one speed and offers that infuriating, numbing, surface-level vibration that puts many clitoris-owners off vibes entirely. I don’t really know why the manufacturer felt the need to include it, especially now you can get powerful bullet vibrators at affordable prices.

FAQs

Can I use the Steven realistic dildo in the bath or shower?

Yes. 100% silicone toys without motors are completely safe to use in water. Remember: you still need to use lube! Oil-based lube is great for playing in water. The accompanying bullet vibe isn’t waterproof.

What’s the point of a suction cup?

Suction cups allow you to fix your toy to a solid surface (like a wall, mirror, floor, or the bathroom tiles) and use it hands-free. The Steven’s suction cup is impressively strong and stays put very nicely, even during vigorous use.

Is the Steven harness-compatible?

Yes… kind of. The suction cup base means you can use the Steven realistic dildo in most strap-on harnesses. It wouldn’t be my first choice for harness play, because the suction cup is quite flimsy and the toy is flexible enough that getting the right angle while thrusting could be difficult. But yes, you certainly can if you want to.

Is the Steven anal-safe?

Yep. The balls and suction cup create a large enough base to make the Steven A-okay for anal play.

How do I clean my silicone dildo?

Your best bet is to throw it in a large pan of boiling water for a few minutes. Failing that, use a 10% bleach solution and rinse thoroughly, or use a sterile medical wipe followed by gentle soap and warm water.

Verdict

Ultimately, my verdict on this one is landing on “perfectly fine but not a great fit for me.” The BMS Addiction Steven is an affordably priced and body-safe realistic dildo, and I’m really glad it exists. Any toys that steer beginners or those on a budget towards body-safe choices can only be a good thing.

The shape and level of flex didn’t really work for my body, but that doesn’t mean the Steven couldn’t be a great fit for yours!

The Steven retails for £24.88 from The Pleasure Garden.

Thanks to The Pleasure Garden for sending me this toy to review. All views are my own. If you use the affiliate links within this post, I make a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Header image for review of the Clone a Willy KIit

[Toy Review] Clone a Willy

Published on December 9, 2020May 10, 2024 by Amy

Have you ever wanted a lifesize, silicone replica of your own (or your partner’s) penis? Well, you’re in luck! Clone a Willy is a company that makes kits that allow you to make a replica dick at home. There’s also now a Clone a Pussy, by the way! Lovehoney kindly sent me the Clone a Willy kit for Day 9 of #12DaysofLovehoney, and Mr CK and I had quite the adventure making it.

Let’s see how we got on, shall we? Oh, and check out the whole review series here.

What’s in the Clone a Willy Kit?

The Clone a Willy kit comes packaged in a plastic tube, which also serves as the molding tube. Inside, you’ll find:

Instruction leaflet
Packet of molding power
2 tubs of silicone
Mini thermometer
Single speed plastic vibrator
Stirring stick

Some of the contents of the Clone a Willy Kit

It’s worth noting that the kit doesn’t include every single thing you need. Fortunately, everything else you need is likely something you already have. You’ll need to have to hand:

A mixing pot to mix the molding powder (we used a plastic jug to make pouring easier)
A large wooden spoon
A disposable container to mix the silicone in (we used a well-cleaned plastic takeaway tub)
Means of measuring water in precise quantities
A way of keeping time (we used the timer function on my smartphone)
A square of scrap cardboard

How Does it Work?

The process of casting your penis isn’t all that difficult, but it takes a bit of precision and care.

First, you’ll need to cut the tube to size. It should be half an inch longer than your erect penis. Next, you’ll need to measure out 1 3/4 cups (that’s 414ml) of lukewarm water and let it cool to exactly 90F (32C). That’s what the thermometer is for. Be aware that this can take longer than you think!

Once the water is at the right temperature, you mix the molding powder in and stir it for exactly 45 seconds. Pour the mix into the tube, insert your erect penis, and hold it still until the mix starts to set. The instructions say 1-2 minutes, but this wasn’t quite enough. All in, it took around 4 minutes.

Voila, you have a mold! Then all you have to do is mix up the silicone, pour it into the mold, add the vibrator, and leave it to set for 24 hours.

How Hard is It?

The tricksy part of this whole process is the precision – getting the right amount of water, making sure it’s exactly the right temperature, and stirring for the right amount of time. Once the molding power goes in the water you have to act quickly, so make sure the dick being cast is erect and ready to go before you start mixing! (Staying hard is also a challenge when your dick is in lukewarm molding mix, I’m told. Have some porn or a sexy naked partner to hand!)

Mr CK has quite a lot of body hair, so we applied a generous amount of vaseline before we started casting. If you’re on the hairy side, I highly recommend this approach, otherwise you might end up getting an unwanted wax job!

The other thing to bear in mind is that this process can get messy! You have to hold the tube full of liquid against your groin for several minutes in a slightly upward-tilted angle, and some WILL spill out. Put a towel or an old sheet down before you start, and don’t do this in a carpeted area if you can possibly help it.

Clean-up isn’t too difficult. The molding mix washes off skin easily. Pro tip for cleaning your utensils and mixing bowl: wait for the leftover mix to completely dry, and then it will just peel away.

The molding is by far the hardest bit. Once that’s sorted, mixing up and pouring the silicone is a breeze. The one thing to be aware of is that you have to mix the silicone for several minutes (we did about 8 minutes) and then pour it as slowly as possible.

So how did it turn out?

We got a very promising mold from our dick casting! And the silicone is the most gorgeously bright and vibrant colour:

As per the advice, we decided to leave the mold to set overnight and then pour the silicone the next morning. As such, the final product is currently setting and I’ll add some photos tomorrow. Watch this space!

The Outcome

Ta-da!

Finished purple silicone dildo made with Clone a Willy Kit

After this adventure, I have a newfound appreciation for folks who make beautiful dildos. This came out pretty well for a first go – its structurally sound, useable, and actually a pretty good likeness to its, erm, source material.

But it’s still a far cry from what the professionals can do. Support your favourite lovely dildo-makers, people!

(But also clone your/your partner’s dick at home with one of these kits, because it’s fun!)

Final Verdict

This whole experience was messy, awkward, and absolutely hilarious. You’ll need a good sense of humour if you want to make a Clone a Willy, but we had tonnes of fun making ours!

The Clone a Willy kit retails for £34.99 from Lovehoney ($44.99 US).

I’ll just leave you with this:

Me: “What do you think people do with their cloned dick if they have a really bad breakup?”
Him: (beat) “Will it blend?”

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! Views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this and all my review posts. Want to support the blog? Buying me a coffee is a great way to do that!

Header image for Blush Ruse Jammy review

[Toy Review] Ruse Jammy Silicone Dildo by Blush Novelties

Published on December 4, 2018April 30, 2024 by Amy

Can we acknowledge for a second how much great stuff Blush Novelties have been coming out with lately? From the best bullet to come out in ages to their brilliant and colourful Pride line, this New York City based company is really one to watch. They’re already doing brilliant things and I suspect they’ll do more. Plus, their philosophy is “that all bodies are beautiful, worthy, and deserving of celebration and pleasure”. Can’t argue with that!

This new offering, the Ruse Jammy silicone dildo, was kindly sent to me by Peepshow Toys. It is also available at SheVibe.

A sizeable realistic offering!

The Ruse Jammy is definitely a dildo for size-lovers. It’s 7.5″ long with a full 2″ in girth. For reference, the average factory-installed penis is around 5.1″ long and 1.4″ wide when erect. This is a sizeable toy! I gulped when I first took it out, but I’m unafraid in my quest to put things in my vagina and write about it for you… even things that make me go “eek!” when I see them.

The Ruse Jammy is made of 100% silicone, and has a suction cup. This means you can attach it to a hard surface – a wall, floor, bath/shower screen – and it also means it’s harness-compatible (why not pair with this fab Blush harness-brief I tested recently?) and anal safe.

The Ruse Jammy is also realistic in design. It has a veiny shaft, a subtle natural curve and a pronounced coronal ridge and head. There’s even realistic-looking skin texturing and a meatus. This is a very well-designed realistic style toy! Of course, if realistic colouring is your thing you’ll want to look elsewhere – the Ruse Jammy comes in purple or jet black rather than anything resembling a lifelike skin tone. The silicone has a lovely smooth, satiny finish which feels wonderful to the touch.

Safety and care

This is a 100% silicone toy which means it’s completely body-safe. The best way to sterilise your silicone toys is to pop them in a pot of boiling water or the top shelf of the dishwasher. In between uses, wash with warm water and gentle soap or use a body-safe sterile wipe.

The Ruse Jammy is condom-compatible, but given the size you’ll want to use large condoms. Water-based lube is, as ever, recommended for silicone toys.

So how did I get on?

I’m not a size Queen, friends. I’m just not. I sometimes enjoy larger things inside of me (fisting is fun!) but more often than not, an average sized cock or small/medium dildo is more than enough to keep me satisfied.

I also have to be careful with depth of penetration, because I have an IUD and anything touching my cervix is painful. So realistically, taking this dildo all the way inside me simply wasn’t going to happen. Even so, I decided to give it a good go and see how I got on!

I tried it with one of my partners during a play session. With plenty of lube, we managed to get about half the shaft inside me relatively comfortably. It gave me a nice full feeling which I did very much enjoy. Once I’d got used to it, my partner tried fucking me with it. This, unfortunately, very quickly led to “Ow! Ouch! No! Too much!”

For me, the best use for this toy is to let it just sit inside me while I do other things such as clitoral play. Thrusting with a toy of this size is not something I find pleasurable.

So do I recommend it?

To size lovers, yes. If you’ve played with smaller dildos and just found they weren’t quite enough for you, the Ruse Jammy is a great and affordable larger option. Considering some toys this size run to £100 or more, the $33 (about £26) for a large silicone toy of this quality is an absolute steal.

I don’t recommend this one for beginners, or those who don’t know they can take large penetrative toys comfortably. But I wholeheartedly endorse it for length/girth lovers and those looking for a realistic toy at an affordable price.

Thanks to Peepshow Toys for sending me the Ruse Jammy to review! If you buy through my affiliate links, I make a small commission at no extra cost to you.