[Toy Review] Tracy’s Dog Craybit Pro Rabbit Vibrator

I confess that I have been puzzling over the name of this toy almost as much as I puzzled over the name of this company the first time I worked with them. (In case you were wondering, Tracy’s Dog is so called because it hopes its toys will become a loyal and faithful companion, like… well. Like a dog. Why this Tracy’s Dog rabbit toy is called the Craybit Pro, though, remains a mystery.)

Baffling name aside, let’s take a look at the Tracy’s Dog Craybit Pro. First, though, the team wanted me to tell you all about their Valentine’s Day promotion. Here’s what you need to know:

  • Use the code LOVE12 to get 12% off all products from February 5th to February 14th
  • If you use my exclusive discount code coffee15, you can enjoy 15% off your purchase
  • Both new and existing customers can choose either the LOVE12 code or my exclusive code
  • These codes can be used in conjunction with other promotions, such as: $10 off orders over $100 (Feb 5 – Feb 9), $30 off orders over $150 (Feb 10 – Feb 14)
  • Additionally, enjoy up to 59% off on sale products

What is the Tracy’s Dog Craybit Pro?

The Craybit Pro is a rabbit style vibrator with an insertable shaft and two flexible ears to stimulate the clitoris. It measures around 8.5″ in total length, and 4.5″ in insertable length. The diameter is 1.59″ at the widest point.

Craybit Pro Tracy's Dog rabbit vibrator

The Craybit Pro is made from purple body-safe silicone with an ABS plastic handle and buttons. It is IPX6 waterproof, meaning it can withstand powerful jets of water but is not submersible. In other words, it’s probably fine for use in the shower and for washing under the tap, but don’t take it in the bath or dunk it in a sink full of water to clean it.

The Craybit Pro has three motors and something called “Chord and Riff Technology”, which combines high-frequency “buzzy” vibrations with low-frequency “rumbly” vibrations. The motors are located in the head, in the lower portion of the insertable shaft, and in the clitoral stimulator respectively.

What I Liked About the Craybit Pro

With so many rabbit vibrators on the market, it can be overwhelming trying to choose one. They’re all designed to do basically the same thing: stimulate the vagina/G-spot and clitoris at the same time. However, they’re all slightly different and each model comes with pros and cons.

Craybit Pro Tracy's Dog rabbit vibrator packaging

Let’s start by looking at what the Tracy’s Dog Craybit Pro does well:

  • It came nicely packaged in a stylish cardboard box with a storage bag included.
  • I like the flexibility of both the insertable arm and the clitoral stimulator. This makes it easier to position the toy for a comfortable fit for your body.
  • The long, soft and flexible rabbit ears are great for keeping the stimulator in constant contact with my clit during use.
  • You can control the two motors in the shaft with one button, and the clitoral stimulator with another, allowing you to use the internal and external vibrations either separately or together.
  • The buttons are easy to press and the controls are simple and easy to learn.
  • The light-up buttons make them easy to see in low light.
  • The curved shaft is excellent for targeted G-spot stimulation.
  • Perhaps most importantly, at least some of the vibrations are actually good! All of the motors are reasonably strong, and the vibrations in the shaft are satisfyingly rumbly.
  • Your toy comes with a two-year warranty and a five-year quality guarantee.

Noise-wise, the Craybit Pro is fine. It’s not impressively silent but it’s also not annoyingly loud.

You can also use the Craybit Pro with the free Monster Party app (yet another baffling name, honestly.) I had more luck with this toy than I did with the Surreal, Tracy’s Dog’s other app-controlled toy, but I’m just not sure the app really adds very much for me. It gives you a little customisability of the three motors and another way to control your toy if you prefer to use your phone rather than manual controls, but I find it more hassle than it’s really worth. This toy works perfectly fine without the app, so it’s definitely an optional add-on rather than an essential.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Craybit Pro Tracy's Dog rabbit vibrator

I do also have a few complaints about the Craybit Pro. Namely:

  • A charge of two hours only gives you around an hour of runtime, which isn’t great.
  • The clitoral stimulator has a very buzzy motor compared to the internal motors. Though you do get some of the rumbles passing through to the clit stimulator when the shaft is switched on, it would be nice if the separate motor was much more rumbly. Say it with me: clit stimulation is the main event, not an afterthought!
  • The two motors in the shaft are controlled by the same button. This means you cannot control them independently.
  • When using the toy manually, there are only single-directional controls. This means you have to scroll through all the settings to go back a step.
  • The seam between the silicone portion and the plastic portion is quite hard to clean and can harbour fluids and bacteria if you’re not careful.
  • It’s surprisingly heavy!

I think the shaft is slightly too wide to be completely ideal for me. I tend to prefer slimmer insertable toys, particularly when pairing them with clitoral stimulation. This isn’t really a gripe with the toy itself, of course, just an acknowledgement of why it’s not totally perfect for my body.

Craybit Pro Tracy’s Dog Rabbit Vibrator: Verdict

Craybit Pro Tracy's Dog rabbit vibrator

Overall, I think the Tracy’s Dog Craybit is a decent-ish though not amazing rabbit vibrator. I’d recommend it most to people who enjoy strong and rumbly internal vibrations as part of dual stimulation. If buzzy clitoral vibrations are a dealbreaker for you, skip this one. With a better clitoral motor, this toy could be far better than it currently is.

The Craybit Pro retails for £59.04 or $54.99 at the time of writing.

Thanks to the company for sending me this Tracy’s Dog rabbit vibrator to review and for sponsoring this review. All views and writing, as always, are mine.

[Toy Review] Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo

As recently as a couple of years ago, readers would ask me for recommendations for giant toys that didn’t cost hundreds of dollars and I would be at a loss on where to send them. Historically, the vast majority of the extra large toys on the market were made of unsafe or porous materials such as rubber, PVC, or TPE/TPR. Those that were made of silicone tended to be tremendously expensive. Fortunately, things are changing and you can now get a body-safe, extra large fantasy dildo without breaking the bank.

Wildolo’s range of silicone monster dildos includes an array of the weird, wonderful, bizarre, and ultra-colourful for all your fantasy fucking needs. They kindly sent me this extra large silicone fantasy dildo from their collection to test and review.

About the Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo

This toy is made of body-safe matte silicone (more on the texture below) in a green, blue and purple marbled effect, and features a tapering shaft with a series of bulges that get progressively wider from top to bottom. As it is single-density silicone, the entire shaft has the same density all the way through (i.e. there is no firm “core” and soft outer layer.)

Wildolo silicone fantasy dildo

It comes in two sizes, and I received the medium, which measures 10.49″ in length (8.98″ insertable) and weighs in at a hefty 0.95kg or just over 2lb. Its diameter tapers from a fairly average 1.35″ at the top, down to 2.87″ at the bottom. Yes: this toy is fucking huge. There’s also a larger version, which measures an enormous 14.76″ in total length and over 4″ in diameter at the widest point.

The Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo features raised texturing on the head, vein detailing on the shaft, and a decorative monster/demon face insignia part way down.

The Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo also has a large suction cup for affixing it to a flat surface. This features decorative detailing, too.

What I Liked About This Toy

The Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo is a relatively budget-friendly option in the scheme of body-safe and extra large fantasy toys, retailing for $75 or around £61.50. It also has a number of great features to recommend it.

Namely:
  • The pictures don’t really do justice to how pretty the shimmery, glittery swirls of green, blue and purple are. When it catches the light, the effect is almost irridescent.
  • Speaking of its physical appearance, the fantasy aesthetic – such that it is – is fairly subtle. If you’re looking for a way to ease into fantasy toys without going straight for something that looks like a tentacle or an alien or a killer plant from outer space, this is a great place to start.
  • I like the tapered design. When using larger toys, it’s really important to build up slowly to ensure a safe, pain-free, and pleasurable experience. Tapered toys build this in, allowing you to gradually increase the size to the point that you feel comfortable.
  • The textured tip is excellent for additional G-spot stimulation. Presumably it would also work well for a prostate for much the same reason.
  • This toy is surprisingly flexible for its size. When it comes to very large toys, particularly for those who are newer to them, some flexibility can make all the difference in ensuring comfortable insertion.
Wildolo silicone fantasy dildo

  • The firm, dense silicone will be great for anyone who likes plenty of intensity and not too much squish for their insertable toys.
  • The suction cup is reasonably strong, particularly given the size of the toy. The large surface area of the suction cup helps to hold the toy firmly to a surface for as long as you want it to stay there.
  • The extra large base means it is anal-safe. However, I feel duty-bound to advise you to proceed extremely carefully if you’re thinking of inserting anything of this size anally.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

The finish on the Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo is very matte. This means that it feels pretty grabby, which can be a downside especially for a toy this large. You’ll need to add lube, lube, and yet more lube for this one. (That was true anyway, given the size, but the grabbyness of the silicone makes it even more essential.)

Wildolo silicone fantasy dildo with suction cup attached to black tiled wall

The sheer size of this toy does make it a challenge to hold and manipulate for long periods of time. Its weight is something you’ll want to be aware of if you suffer from hand or wrist pain (or just, like me, have annoyingly tiny hands.)

I’ve said before and I will say it again that I just don’t think I’m really the target market for extra large insertables. I look at them and my body doesn’t go “ooh,” it goes “hahaha nope!” Realistically, I can use the top third of this dildo, maybe the top half if I’m feeling really brave. This isn’t really a criticism of the product, just an acknowledgement that it’s not one I will be reaching for on a regular basis.

Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo: Verdict

Even though I don’t think it’s particularly ideal for my body, the Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo is a well-designed and body-safe toy at a good price for the quality. If you’re into fantasy toys or looking to add something large to your collection without spending a lot, this is a great choice.

Thanks to Wildolo for sponsoring this review! All views are, as always, my own.

[Toy Review] Nothosaur “MOOM” Custom Dildo

You know what’s even more fun than shopping for sex toys? Creating one to your specifications! I recently told you all about Nothosaur’s custom dildo and custom fantasy toy service, which allows you to apply a dizzying variety of customisations to the company’s designs to create a piece that is entirely yours.

As part of our ongoing partnership, Nothosaur kindly let me customise a toy from their range to try and to tell you all about. After a lot of deliberation, I chose the MOOM dildo. Keep reading to learn what I like about this one and which customisations I chose.

What is the MOOM and Why Did I Choose It for My Custom Dildo?

The base product you choose will determine the shape and design of your toy. When Nothosaur offered me a custom dildo to review, I spent a long time looking around the site to decide which of the many options on offer felt right for me. Ultimately, I picked the MOOM. The basic product looks like this:

Nothosaur MOOM base product for custom dildo design
Image: Nothosaur. Colourway: “Streaming VioletBlue”

The shape of the toy really called to me. Its shaft consists of a series of long and elegantly intertwining vines, rising up to a pronounced head, and the broad base has those aforementioned little spikes. The MOOM’s shaft is relatively slimline, which tends to work well for my body – I do like girthy insertables sometimes, but they take a lot of warm-up. This is very much an “insert and go” toy, which can be an advantage sometimes.

The MOOM is based on one of Nothosaur’s many fantasy creature creations, a creature that makes its home in the jungle, collects pine cones and fruits, enjoys poems and stories, but also possesses a series of sharp thorns that help to keep it safe. I enjoy the combination of softness and fierceness in this characterisation, and in the combination of long, sweeping lines and the spiked base that make up the toy’s design.

I also just thought it was super pretty, fun, and unexpected, and I don’t own anything else like it.

My Customisation Choices

I went for the medium size MOOM dildo. I’m not a size queen by any stretch (heh) of the imagination, so at 5.9″ in total length and about 4″ in insertable length – the MOOM in medium is a fairly perfect size dildo for me. If you prefer a very small toy, choose the mini or small sizes. If you want more, opt for the large or extra large.

Next up was choosing the firmness. I ultimately went for the soft silicone because I don’t have many super-soft toys in my collection, so I thought it would be fun to get something a bit different. I also tend to like flexible toys, and I assumed the soft silicone would have more flex to it.

Finally, it was time to pick the colours for my custom dildo. I looked at the suggested colourways for the MOOM and, though they were all super pretty and creative, none of them felt like quite what I was looking for. Ultimately, inspiration struck and I settled on a marbled combination of bright orange, bright pink, and white that reminds me of the lesbian pride flag.

Nothosaur custom sex toys colour selection example
Nothosaur’s extensive colour selection

The MOOM in medium comes with a suction cup base by default, which works for me. This allows me to use it with a strap-on harness as well as making it convenient to hold. If you opt for the MOOM in a large or extra large size, you can add a vac-u-lock hole and adaptor for a fucking machine if you like.

What I Love About My Custom Nothosaur MOOM

And with all those decisions made, it was time to sit back and wait for my custom dildo to arrive. Which, in a couple of weeks, it did. The finished toy is so, so bright and femme and colourful! I mean, just look at it:

Nothosaur MOOM custom dildo

The website pictures really don’t do justice to just how bright and vibrant these colours are. The design is also even more beautiful and intricate close up than the images show. I feel like I notice some new detail every time I look at it.

The MOOM dildo has the perfect level of texturing for me. The “vines” along the shaft are pronounced enough to feel and to be satisfying, but not so much that it tips over into uncomfortable.

I’m also really glad I opted for the soft silicone for this one. I think it’s possible that the intensely ridged head and the textured shaft would have been too intense in a firmer silicone. But at this level, it’s absolutely perfect. The ultra-flexible softness also means that I can angle the head perfectly to brush against my G-spot.

Nothosaur MOOM custom dildo

The MOOM’s suction cup is strong, and its broad base makes it ideal for strap-on sex.

Finally, can we talk about those spikes on the base? They, too, are super soft and when the dildo is fully inserted, they tease and tickle my vulva every time I thrust or twist the toy. Amazing.

Get Your Own Custom Dildo

It’s safe to say Nothosaur knocked it out of the park with my MOOM custom dildo. The result is something beautiful, unique, and totally “me.” I love it.

Nothosaur MOOM custom dildo

Want your own? Head over to Nothosaur’s store, find the design you like, and get customising! A medium MOOM in 3 colours retails for $94.99, but prices vary according to the style and customisations you choose.

Thanks to Nothosaur for gifting me this toy and sponsoring this review! All views are, as always, my own.

[Toy Review] SpareParts Joque Harness

Here’s a fun fact about me that tends to surprise new lovers: I’m much more of a strap-on top than a strap-on bottom. In other words, most of the time I prefer to be the person doing the fucking rather than the person being fucked. Unfortunately, gender stereotypes and outdated ideas about power dynamics mean that those of us who fall on the femme end of the gender spectrum and/or the submissive end of the power exchange spectrum are often assumed to be bottoms by default. Well, nope! I’m a femme and a submissive-leaning switch, and I also love strapping it on and fucking my partner.

So naturally, I love getting to try out a new strap-on harness. The Pleasure Garden was kind enough to send me the hugely popular SpareParts Joque harness to try, and my girlfriend[1] was kind enough to help me test it out.

[1] Yes, I’m in a new relationship! She’s amazing. I’m very lucky and very happy.

What is the SpareParts Joque Harness?

The SpareParts Joque is a harness for strap-on sex. It comes in two sizes (A fits a belt size of 20-50″, while B fits 35-65″) and two colourways, black or purple. Both sizes feature an O-ring (that’s the ring the dildo goes through to anchor it in place) that stretches to accommodate dildos between 1.25″ and 2″ in diameter.

SpareParts Joque Harness

The Joque is made of a combination of nylon and spandex, which is both comfortable and strong as well as moisture-wicking. Though these materials are not biodegradable or sustainable, they are durable and easy to clean. This means that, with a little care, your harness should last you a lifetime and never need replacing. These synthetic materials are also suitable for those who want to avoid animal materials such as leather.

The Joque features a wide, comfortable belt that sits around the hips. There are also two leg straps that hug the upper thighs and bottom of the butt cheeks. It fastens with velcro, meaning that you can make micro-adjustments so that it fits you perfectly. It also comes with a mesh bag for washing and storage.

SpareParts Joque Harness

Aesthetically, the Joque is perhaps a little more androgynous-leaning-masc than I would go for in a totally ideal world. Requesting the purple one made it feel a lot more like “me,” though. I can also, of course, femme things up by using the girliest dildos imaginable. (Which, naturally, I did. Before our date, I literally texted my girlfriend a picture of an array of dildos to pick from, all of which were some variation of brightly coloured, sparkly, or covered in little hearts.)[2] And ultimately, functionality is always going to be more important than anything else when it comes to strap-on harnesses.

[2] Since I know you’re wondering, I ultimately paired my Joque harness with my Lovehoney Galaxy Dildo on this occasion.

What I Liked About the Joque

Retailing for £120, the Joque is not a cheap option. However, for the quality I really believe it is more than worth the price. I’ve wanted one of these for ages, and now that I’ve tried it I can understand the hype entirely.

Here are a few of the things I liked about the SpareParts Joque.

  • It is super easy to set up, put on, and adjust. From unboxing it to being ready to use it took me maybe one to two minutes.
  • The ultra-adjustable velcro waistband means that even if my body size changes (which it tends to do quite a lot), the harness will still fit me. It also means that, if you and your partner have different body sizes but both want to top for strap-on sex sometimes, you don’t need to buy two.
  • It’s so comfortable! I love the wide waistband, which hugs my hips rather than cutting uncomfortably into them like harnesses with narrower straps tend to do. As a curvy gal, this is tremendously important to me. This harness is often advertised as a great choice for people who want to pack, and I can understand why. It’s comfortable and unobtrusive enough to wear under your regular clothes, if you like.
  • A fabric flap separates the dildo from the wearer’s body. This makes a big difference to comfort, particularly if you’re going to be playing for a while. It prevents uncomfortable rubbing or chafing. However, you can also move it aside if you prefer – for example, if you want to use the harness with a double-ended toy.
SpareParts Joque Harness

  • There are two small pockets, above and below the O-ring, where you can insert a bullet vibrator if you like. This provides additional stimulation to the wearer. You’ll need a tiny bullet vibe for this – something around 6cm or shorter is ideal.
  • It’s washable. Simply handwash it in some cool water, or throw it in the washing machine on a gentle cycle. (I recommend using the included mesh bag to protect it.) We all know that we should be sterilising our dildos between uses, but many people forget that their harnesses can also hold onto bodily fluids and bacteria. This is particularly important if you have anal sex or if you use the same harness with multiple partners.

Most importantly of all, the SpareParts Joque is simply a highly usable harness. With many strap-on harnesses, I have to hold the dildo in place or keep readjusting the straps. Not so with the Joque harness. It stays exactly where I put it and keeps the dildo perfectly positioned so that I can fuck my partner and keep my hands free. This allows me to touch and pleasure them in other ways at the same time (or to keep my balance in more challenging positions!)

Anything I Didn’t Like?

The only significant downside I wanted to flag with the SpareParts Joque harness is that the O-ring does not appear to be interchangeable. This probably won’t be an issue to most people due to its flexibility – I’m certainly not likely to be using dildos larger than 2″ in diameter – but if you like to use very girthy toys with your strap-on harness, it’s something to be aware of.

SpareParts Joque Harness

I also didn’t find the vibrator pockets to be ideally positioned. When I use this harness with a bullet vibe, it doesn’t really directly stimulate my clit. It still feels nice, and ultimately it’s not a big deal as I’m more focused on my partner’s enjoyment when I’m topping anyway. But if clitoral stimulation while you’re having strap-on sex matters to you, it is a downside.

SpareParts Joque Harness: Verdict

This is, simply put, the most functional and fully featured strap-on harness I’ve ever used. It is ultra-comfortable, it allows for numerous different styles of strap-on play, and it is easy to wear and use. I think newcomers to strap-on sex sometimes feel put off because harnesses appear to be so complicated and fiddly. But that doesn’t need to be the case. Turns out you just need a harness designed by someone who understands how strap-on sex actually works.

SpareParts Joque Harness with Lovehoney Galaxy Dildo

The SpareParts Joque harness does its job, and it does it damn well.

Buy this harness from The Pleasure Garden and check out their range of dildos to pair it with. You’ll want something with a wide, flat base – a suction cup dildo is ideal.

Thanks to The Pleasure Garden for sending me the Joque harness to try out! All views and experiences are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Toy Review] AcmeJoy Ramsdell Mouth Vibrator

I think I’ve said before that, the longer I do this work, the harder it gets to find anything I haven’t tried before. Sure, I can still get excited about a really good bullet vibrator or a suction toy that doesn’t suck, but it’s rare to come across a sex toy that makes me go “huh… I’ve never seen one of those before.” AcmeJoy’s Ramsdell mouth vibrator, though, elicited exactly that reaction.

AcmeJoy Ramsdell mouth vibrator

I mean. Look at it! Of course I had to request this one when AcmeJoy invited me to review one of their products.

What is the AcmeJoy Ramsdell Mouth Vibrator?

The AcmeJoy Ramsdell – or to give it its full title, the Ramsdell 10 Biting Modes & 10 Vibrating Speeds Stimulate Nipple Clitoral Women Vibrator (no I’m not kidding) – is a handheld sex toy designed to look like a pair of lips with a tongue poking out.

AcmeJoy Ramsdell mouth vibrator

The Ramsdell measures 4.65″ in total length, and the mouth is 2.1″ wide at the widest point. It is made of body-safe red silicone with a rose gold plastic accent panel for the buttons. (Confusingly, the product page claims it is silicone and then later says it is TPE! I think this is a mistake as – based on the look, feel, smell, and flame test results – it definitely appears to be silicone.)

The Ramsdell is IPX6 water-resistant, AKA splashproof. This makes for easy cleaning but does mean the toy can’t be fully submerged in water (you’d need IPX7 waterproof for that.) It is also rechargeable, with a two hour charge giving around an hour of runtime.

When it’s switched on, the Ramsdell makes what I can only describe as a biting motion, with the mouth moving up and down. I turned it on and immediately stuck my finger in there, and this thing has quite a bite to it! Fortunately, as you’ll see below, it doesn’t really “bite” your genitals when it’s actually in use. The tongue can also vibrate, if you like. I think the overall effect is supposed to simulate oral sex, which – as anyone who has read my numerous rants on the subject knows – isn’t really possible with the current toy technology we have available to us.

According to the site, it can stimulate my “A & G & U” all at the same time. I’m assuming that stands for anus, G-spot, and urethra, which is wildly untrue (there’s no way this thing is getting anywhere near the G-spot and it’s certainly not stimulating three different areas at the same time.) Companies, take note: it’s fine for a sex toy to just do one thing, if it does it well. You don’t have to claim otherwise, especially when it’s so demonstrably not true.

What I Liked About the AcmeJoy Ramsdell

When it comes to the aesthetic of this toy, I don’t really have strong feelings either way. I can imagine if you’re someone who is extremely into mouths or lips, a mouth vibrator could be kind of hot. I can also imagine it might squick you out if you find a disembodied mouth offputting! (I’ll say this for it, though, it’s a hell of a lot sexier than that awful disembodied tongue thing I once tried.)

AcmeJoy Ramsdell mouth vibrator

From my perspective? It’s fine. It doesn’t turn me on to look at it, and it kinda makes me giggle, but it doesn’t actively make me go “ew, no” either.

With that said, let’s look at the things I liked about this product.

  • Does it feel like cunnilingus? No it does not. But does it feel good? Amazingly, yes, it really does! With plenty of lube on both the toy and my body, the mouth’s up-and-down motion is shockingly pleasurable. Despite the description and my first impression, it does not (thankfully) feel like someone biting my clit! It’s more like someone rubbing it in a very consistent pattern.
  • I particularly like that this toy can stimulate the entire clitoral area, not just the tip of the glans.
  • It also feels pretty good on nipples, if you’re into that.
  • You can control the mouth movements and the tongue vibrations separately. Want one without the other, or to use different settings? No problem. There are 10 “biting” modes and 10 vibration modes to choose from and use in any combination.
  • The buttons are well-positioned and easy to press, and the controls simple to understand and use.
  • At $31.97 USD (about £26), it’s budget-friendly.

I was surprised at how good this toy felt and how close it got me to orgasm. It didn’t make me come on this occasion, but I think it’s entirely possible it could get me off in the future, if I was sufficiently turned on to start with.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

AcmeJoy Ramsdell mouth vibrator with Sliquid lube

I do also have a couple of complaints with the Ramsdell mouth vibrator.

  • The noise. It’s not that it is particularly loud, just that the up-and-down mechanism kind of squeaks in a way that hurts my neurodivergent and sound-sensitive soul.
  • The vibrations are tremendously buzzy and not particularly strong. They’re kinda okay as an accompaniment to the mouth movements, but they start making my clit feel numb pretty fast if I use them for too long.
  • If I press it too hard against my body, the up-and-down motion stops working. This is something to be aware of if you’re someone who likes lots of pressure when you use toys.
  • I would have preferred the silicone on the lips to be slightly softer and squishier. It’s not bad as it is, but this would enhance comfort and pleasure during use.

AcmeJoy Ramsdell: Verdict

Significantly better than I expected!

I am somewhat surprised to say that as a concept for a toy, this works. I would like to see some changes made to improve it – notably, softening up the “lips” and making the motor in the tongue more powerful and rumbly. I’d happily pay more for a better version of this basic design. Overall, though? Not bad at all. It’s something new and different, and a creative twist on the enduringly popular “tongue toy” theme.

Get it from AcmeJoy. It will also soon be available from Seekheart DE and AcmeJoy Germany.

Thanks to AcmeJoy for sponsoring this post and sending me this product to review! All views and experiences, as always, are mine.

[Toy Review] Lovense Osci 3

Rabbit vibrators are hard to get right. As a general rule, when one lands in my review queue I have pretty low expectations. A rabbit vibe I enjoy is a rare find, and a rabbit vibe that can actually make me come is even rarer. Still, I like to keep an open mind, so here I am with a review of the just-launched Lovense Osci 3.

What is the Lovense Osci 3?

Lovense Osci 3 app-controlled rabbit vibrator

The Lovense Osci 3 is the latest in Lovense’s line of Osci toys (preceded by the Osci 2 oscillating G-spot vibrator.) It measures 8.5″ in total length, around 5″ in insertable length, and 1.2″ in diameter at the widest point. The Osci 3 has three functions: an oscillating G-spot stimulator on the end of the internal arm, a flexible vibrating clitoral stimulator, and a warming function. The internal arm offers an impressive 4000-6000 oscillations per minute.

This toy is made of Lovense’s signature hot pink silicone. It is IPX7 waterproof, meaning it is fully submersible, and rechargeable. A full charge takes just 75 minutes and gives you up to 3 hours of battery life.

Like most Lovense products, the Osci 3 is app-controllable via the Lovense app. This gives you tonnes more options for ways to play, and also allows you to hand over control to a partner anywhere in the world.

What I Like About the Osci 3

Lovense Osci 3 app-controlled rabbit vibrator

The Osci 3 is an impressively full-featured toy with a lot to recommend it. These are the main things I liked about it, and that you might appreciate too:

  • I love that the G-spot stimulator oscillates rather than vibrating. I’m really not a fan of internal vibrations, finding them far more uncomfortable than pleasurable. But the Osci 3’s rapid tapping motion is quite a different sensation. It’s also far more focused, stimulating the G-spot intensely without vibrating the entire vagina.
  • The flexible clitoral stimulator makes it relatively easy to try different positions and angles to find what works for your unique body.
  • The intense curve of the insertable shaft is fantastic for targeted G-spot pressure.
  • The two motors are independently controllable. This means you can use one without the other, use them together, and use them on two completely different settings – whatever you prefer, the experience is completely customisable.
  • The clitoral motor is strong and, even better, fairly rumbly.
  • Connecting with the Lovense app (free on Android and iOS) was easy and took seconds. You can use the “Remote” function to control each of the toy’s motors with the swipe of a finger, use the “My Patterns” function to use the various inbuilt settings or create your own, use the “Music” function to sync your toy to music stored on your device.
  • You can add more than one partner! This is great for those of us who are non-monogamous. Many sex toy apps still only allow you to have one partner connected at a time.
  • The “Control Link” function allows you to hand over control and chat anonymously without connecting or showing any personal data. I don’t really have much use for this function personally, but it’s one of the reasons Lovense toys are popular with online cam performers.
  • Through the app, you can also sync your toy with various types of online content and other adult apps, play games such as “Control Roulette”, turn on sound-activated mode, and much more. Use the “app gallery” and “discover” tabs to do this.
  • The heating function really changes how the toy feels, bringing it up to just above body temperature. It also works quickly, heating the toy in 1-1.5 minutes.
  • The quick charging time is a nice bonus, especially given the excellent battery life.
  • It’s not too loud.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Because no toy is perfect, I do also have a few gripes with the Osci 3.

  • I actually might have liked one slower speed for the oscillating G-spot stimulator! I know this is an unusual thing for me to say, but even on the slowest speed it’s pretty fast and intense. If I’m not very well warmed up, this can be too much.
  • The silicone is extremely matte and “grabby.” You can overcome this with plenty of lube (water-based is best for silicone toys!). Even so, I would have preferred it to be softer and smoother.
  • I feel like I say this about virtually every toy I test, but dual-directional controls please! It’s really distracting and offputting having to scroll through every setting just to go back one.
  • Lovense toys generally really do require the app to get the most out of them. As someone who doesn’t really use sex toy apps except on very rare occasions, I do consider this a downside personally. I just want to switch my toy on and have access to all its features without needing to fuck around with my phone! Of course, your preferences may vary.

Lovense Osci 3: Verdict

The reality of the situation is that I just don’t really use rabbit vibrators very much. As rabbit vibes go, though, I think the Lovense Osci 3 is excellent. It’s objectively well-designed, with body-friendly flexibility and great motors.

Like many Lovense toys, it really comes into its own with the app. If you just want a rabbit vibrator you can enjoy without bothering with app controls, there are cheaper options on the market which are just as good. But if you want something you can use long-distance, or something with extensive app-based and online features, the Osci 3 is a worthwhile purchase.

The Lovense Osci 3 retails for £159. It is also currently on a limited-time introductory offer at just £71 (that’s a 55% saving!)

Thanks to Lovense for sending me the Osci 3 to review! All writing and views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post and if you use them to buy this or any other Lovense product, I will make a small commission at no additional cost to you.

I Tried an Adult Mystery Box! [Bed Nerdz Review]

I love a mystery box! The concept of giving someone information about my preferences and then they pick out things to suit me is just very satisfying to me. It’s a bit like receiving a present from someone who knows you well enough to pick out things you’ll love. So when new company Bed Nerdz got in touch and asked me to review one of their adult mystery box sets, I was all over it.

What is Bed Nerdz and How Does It Work?

Adult mystery box from Bed Nerdz - box opened showing presentation and packaging

Bed Nerdz is a one-off gift box service (i.e. not a subscription.) There are currently three options to choose from, each containing three toys:

  • Rodeo Drive Box: One penis toy, one vulva toy, one anal toy
  • Sunset Strip Box: Three vulva toys
  • La La Land Mystery Box: Three toys chosen just for you based on preferences you specify

For the La La Land Mystery Box, you’ll need to answer a few questions about yourself, your partners, and how you like to have sex. I told them that I’m female, have sex with partners of multiple genders, enjoy vibration and suction, prefer clitoral stimulation, and would describe my sexual personality as adventurous, curious, and kinky.

You’ll receive three products of the eight currently in the Bed Nerdz catalogue. I’m assuming they will add more options over time, though it makes sense to keep the range small initially.

What’s the La La Land Adult Mystery Box Like?

My La La Land box arrived discreetly packaged in the post, and I set about unboxing it. I was immediately impressed by how beautifully presented it was. The contents, set in a sturdy box, were protected with a paper covering tied by a ribbon.

Adult mystery box from Bed Nerdz - box opened showing presentation and packaging

A postcard with some gorgeous sapphic artwork (see above) and a message from the founders was included.

Postcard to Amy from Bed Nerdz founders

Inside, the three toys (and a set of bonus sex dice) were presented in foam packaging.

Adult mystery box from Bed Nerdz with toys in foam packaging

Ten out of ten for presentation! But what about performance?

Which Toys Did I Receive?

Safe to say the Bed Nerdz team understood the assignment (as the young people apparently say!) I received three clitoral toys: two vibrators, and a suction toy.

Toy chargers and instruction leaflets from Bed Nerdz

Let’s have a look at each of them in turn.

Jesse Clit Sucker

The Jesse is a clitoral suction toy made of body-safe silicone and measuring 5.5″ in length. It offers 10 suction modes including 3 constant speeds and 7 patterns. It has a two-button interface, one button that switches the toy on and off and another that scrolls through the patterns.

Bed Nerdz Jesse clitoral suction vibrator

The Jesse is IPX6 waterproof, AKA splashproof but not submersible.

Overall, this is a pretty good basic clitoral suction toy! It doesn’t have all the bells and whistles of some of the higher end brands, of course, but it’s also a fraction of the price when purchased as part of one of these kits. The nozzle is broad enough to get a good seal around my clit, and the steady power settings are decent. I’m not sure what the point of the little fronds inside the nozzle is; I guess they’re supposed to tickle the clit but on my body at least, they’re nowhere near long enough to make contact with it.

The Jesse isn’t too loud, and its light weight and tapered handle make it comfortable to hold.

Sandy Bullet Vibrator

The Sandy is a small bullet vibrator, measuring just over 3″ in length and made of body-safe ABS plastic. Like the Jesse, it offers 10 modes: 3 speeds and 7 patterns.

Bed Nerdz Sandy clitoral vibrator

There is a one-button interface on the toy, and a separate remote control with an on/off button and a speed change button. If you’re going to include a remote with a toy, I would really expect it to have dual-directional controls, but this is probably something I’m going to be banging on at toy manufacturers about for the rest of my life. The remote’s responsiveness is good, though. The Sandy is also IPX6 water-resistant, though the remote isn’t.

I didn’t expect much from this little bullet, but it really pleasantly surprised me with its intensity! The vibes are a little buzzier than I would really like, but I can’t fault the power of its motor. And, as it is plastic, the vibes can be felt more intensely through the hard casing.

Cali Wand Vibrator

The Cali is a mini wand vibrator measuring 6″ in total length. It provides a total of 20 different vibration settings and 9 speeds to choose from on each setting, with a three-button interface allowing you to switch it on or off, change the speed, or change the setting respectively. It is made of body-safe silicone on Bed Nerdz’ signature shade of coral orange.

Bed Nerdz Cali mini wand vibrator

This toy, like the others in the box, is IPX6 water-resistant.

Despite being the most fully-featured toy in this set, I ultimately found the Cali wand the most disappointing of the three. Its motor is extremely buzzy, and not strong enough to compensate for the dampening effect of the silicone.

Bed Nerdz Mystery Box: Verdict

Overall, I’m pretty impressed with my Bed Nerdz mystery box, which was super fun to receive, unbox, and test! Besides my perspectives on the individual toys, let’s summarise with some pros and cons of the set and the customer experience as a whole.

Pros:

  • At £149.99 for three toys plus the extras, the Bed Nerdz La La Land Adult Mystery Box is pretty good value for what you get
  • Gorgeous, thoughtful presentation, ideal for gifting or treating yourself
  • All toys are body-safe
  • All toys are rechargeable and come pre-charged
  • The sex dice are a cute and fun extra

Cons:

  • Limited catalogue of products currently in the range
  • Included lube contained non-body-safe ingredients
  • Some unnecessary gendering on the site – you can just ask about preferred areas of stimulation without categorising toys as “male” or “female”

Who Should Consider Buying an Adult Mystery Box?

I would have absolutely loved a set like this when I was first starting out exploring with sex toys! It’s a great option if you’re trying toys for the first time, or trying to expand your collection but not sure of what you like. A mystery box is also a sexy gift for a lover or partner, or a fun thing to buy and then explore as a couple.

I’m looking forward to seeing how Bed Nerdz grows, develops, and expands on this concept in the future.

Buy your mystery box from Bed Nerdz.

Thanks to Bed Nerdz for sending me this bespoke box to review! All views, as always, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

5 Things to Consider Before You Buy a Sex Machine

Compared to other toy categories such as vibrators, dildos, and strokers, sex machines (AKA fucking machines) are a relatively niche corner of the sex toy market. This is partly due to cost; choosing to buy a sex machine can be a major financial investment, costing hundreds to thousands of dollars. They can also take up a lot of space.

Even so, sex machines have an enduring fan base and seem to have grown in popularity and prevalence in recent years.

A sex machine is simply a machine designed to simulate sex with a partner, particularly penetrative vaginal or anal sex. You attach a toy – such as a dildo or masturbator – to the mechanism, and the machine then thrusts back and forth. Many machines have additional features such as an adjustable angle, adjustable speeds, remote control or app-control functionality, programmable settings, space to add an external vibrator such as a wand, and more.

Many people enjoy sex machines because you can enjoy them hands-free and because they can provide a more immersive, lifelike sensation compared to other types of toys.

So if you’re thinking about making the leap, what do you need to know before you buy a sex machine?

Space Concerns

Sex machines vary in size, but even the smaller ones are much bigger than your typical hand-held sex toy. Before you buy a sex machine, always make sure you have the space for the model you’re considering. This means making sure you have a safe and spacious place to set it up and use it, but also that you have somewhere to store it if you’re not going to have it set up permanently.

If you live in a small apartment, need to be discreet, or have limited storage space available, you might want to consider one of the small sex machine models on the market. Take measurements of your space, and triple check before you click the “buy” button. Don’t forget to think about practicalities such as easy access to a power socket to plug your machine into, too.

Budget

How much a sex machine costs varies enormously. The most basic models can cost under $100, while high end sex machines can run into thousands of dollars. Before you start shopping, decide what kind of budget you’re comfortable with.

In general, cheaper machines will be more basic and have fewer features. However, they might still suit your needs just fine if you’re on a budget. If you’re looking for extras such as remote or app controls or greater levels of personalisation/adjustability, you can expect to pay more.

Don’t forget to account for dildos or other attachments, lube, positioning aids, travel or storage cases, or whatever other extras you might need as well as the machine itself.

Comfort and Positioning

Learning how to use a sex machine comfortably and pleasurably can take some practice. One thing you’ll need to figure out is the most comfortable and practical positions in which to use it.

Many people find that it is easiest to use a sex machine while reclining on their back on a bed, or face down in a “doggy style” position. Others prefer to use another surface such as a couch or spanking bench to achieve the desired position. Positioning aids such as sex furniture, sex position wedges, and sex swings can also be a great option, as can add-ons for your machine designed to adjust its height or angle to suit you.

Before you buy a sex machine, think about how you will actually use it in practice.

Another aspect of comfort in use is stroke length. This simply means how far back and forth the toy moves when the machine is switched on. A longer stroke length will give you deeper penetration, while a shorter stroke length will give you shallower penetration. Some machines offer adjustable stroke length, while others are fixed at one particular length.

Toy Compatibility

Some sex machines come with a dildo (or several) included. Others don’t have toys included and you will need to buy these separately. Sex machine attachments don’t stop at standard dildos, either. You can also get fantasy toys, ejaculating or squirting dildos, anal toys, masturbation sleeves, and much more.

Your sex machine will be compatible with toys using a certain attachment type, and this can vary between manufacturers and machine models. This may mean you won’t be able to use your existing toys with your new sex machine, or you may need to buy an adaptor to enable you to do so. Always check before you buy a sex machine to make sure that your toys are compatible or that you can get toys that will work for you and fit your chosen machine.

Whatever toys you choose, make sure you opt for body-safe materials. 100% silicone is best!

Aesthetic

You might not care at all what your sex machine looks like. On the other hand, you might care a lot! Perhaps you want a machine that feels like “you”, or something that ties in with the decor of your bedroom, home dungeon, or other playspace.

Sex machines are available in numerous different designs and colours. So whether you’re looking for sleek black or silver, hot pink, or something more unusual like red, gold or blue, there’s sure to be a machine that suits your preferred aesthetic.

Ready to Buy a Sex Machine?

Hismith, whose links are included within this post, sell sex machines of various sizes and designs, at a range of prices from $95 up to $1999. They also sell dildos, masturbators, anal toys, and various other attachments and accessories to go with their machines. Check out their extensive catalogue of products!

Thanks to Hismith for sponsoring this post! All views and writing, as always, are mine.

Creating Your Dream Custom Sex Toys with Nothosaur

What does your perfect fantasy sex toy look like? You might have ideas about the shape and design, size, softness or firmness, colour, and more. Nothosaur, who have already featured on the site several times previously, offer custom sex toys with various options across their fantasy range, helping you to craft the perfect dildo or other toy for your desires.

For something a bit different today, they have invited me to check out and review their customisation process.

Why Choose Custom Sex Toys?

Custom sex toys are generally more expensive than their off-the-shelf counterparts, so why would you choose a custom toy? In short, because this way you can get exactly what you want from a product.

How many times have I written a review in which I say “this toy would be perfect if only…” [“…it were shorter/girthier/softer/firmer/more flexible/etc.”]? I imagine you’ve thought the same about toys in the past. A custom toy allows you to have complete control over all those factors.

Some people enjoy having a toy that is one-of-a-kind, knowing that no-one else has one quite like it. This can be particularly true for people who view a toy as a kind of extension of their body; for example, if you’re someone who has strap-on sex, your dildo might essentially become your penis while you’re using it. It follows that you’d want to get something that really feels like you.

A custom sex toy can also make an amazing gift for a partner or lover. If you know the person and their preferences well enough, you can get something perfectly crafted just for them. Alternatively, why not spend a fun and sexy date night designing and ordering your perfect toy together?

Custom Sex Toys with Nothosaur

Creating a custom dildo, butt plug, grinder, or other toy with Nothosaur is easy. You just need to go through four simple steps, which we’ll look at in detail in this section.

Choosing Your Base Toy

The first step is to choose your base product, which you can then customise. Nothosaur’s extensive range includes tentacle dildos, ejaculating dildos, ovipositors, dragon dildos and other fantasy creature designs, and much more.

You might already have a clear idea of what you’re after, or you might not be sure. Pay attention to things like overall shape, texturing, and any additional features that are important to you (such as a large base, harness compatibility, or an ejaculation tube.) Aesthetics matter, too, but ignore colours for now because we’re going to customise those later in this process! Instead, think about what overall look or vibe speaks to you.

Though I’m not an Astrology Queer, my personal faves right now are the Zodiac collection just for how pretty and unusual they are.

Choosing Your Size

Once you’ve selected your base toy, it’s time to choose your size. Most Nothosaur toys come in a range of sizes, with anything from two to six options to pick from.

One unfortunate but pervasive belief about sex toys (like penises) is that bigger automatically equals better. This just isn’t true. Now perhaps giant toys are your thing! In which case, go nuts and pick the biggest size available. On the other hand, you might find very large insertables uncomfortable, painful, or just plain impractical to use. If so, choose a smaller product.

All Nothosaur toys have exact measurements for all sizes listed in the image gallery on the product pages. I highly recommend getting out a tape measure or ruler and checking the sizes before you make your selection so that you don’t end up with something far larger or far smaller than you expected.

Example of Nothosaur custom sex toys sizing breakdown
Example taken from toy “Graemen

Pro tip: pay at least as much attention to girth as to length when you’re choosing an insertable toy. If a toy is too long for you, you can just use part of the shaft. If it’s too wide, though, you might not be able to use it at all.

Choosing Your Firmness Level

Next, you need to choose the firmness level of your toy. Not all Nothosaur toys have customisable firmness (ovipositors don’t, for example, as they are hollow) but the majority do. Most are available in soft, medium or firm, while some are available only in medium or firm. Nothosaur ships medium firmness toys by default, unless you choose a different option.

Ultimately, the firmness you choose is a matter of preference. Do you like your toys soft and squishy, or firm and rigid? Softer toys will generally be easier to use and insert than firmer toys, so can be a good choice for beginners. Smaller toys generally feel softer than larger ones, and those that are very girthy will also feel harder. For toys that stand up on their own, choosing medium or firm will give them a more stable base.

Nothosaur recommends soft or medium firmness if you’re wanting to do depth training with your toy for safety reasons.

Choosing Your Custom Colourway

Now we get to the really fun part: making your toy look pretty!

Each Nothosaur toy has a default suggested colourway (or several), which you can choose. There are also an array of pre-set colour schemes available across many products. Personally I think “fairy” is probably the prettiest.

None of them quite calling to you? Then you can select “custom mode” and transform your toy to look exactly the way you want it to. You have seven types of custom colourways to choose from:

  • Solid: a single colour
  • Covered: an effect with one colour layered over another
  • Fade 2 colour: the top colour fades gradually into the bottom colour
  • Marble 2 colour: 2 colours swirled together
  • Marble 3 colour: 3 colours swirled together
  • Split 2 colour: the top is one colour, the base another
  • Split 3 colour: the top, middle, and base are each a different colour

There are 56 colours to choose from in total. Depending on the style you choose, you’ll then be prompted to select one, two, or three colours.

Nothosaur custom sex toys colour selection example
Example colour selection for “Fade 2 colour” style

Some very quick phone maths tells me that with these seven colourway options and 56 colours, that gives you over 18,000 possible combinations. And that’s without including Nothosaur’s suggested colourways or any of the other customisation options. In other words, your toy is sure to be unlike anyone else’s.

You can read more about the custom colour process and check out the colour guide to get inspired.

Adding Extras

Some Nothosaur toys (and some sizes) have additional customisation options available. For example, many of the products allow you to add a vac-u-lock hole and/or adaptor so that you can use your toy with a sex machine. Alternatively, you can stick with the default suction cup base, which allows you to affix your toy to any firm flat surface.

Finally, you can add any extras to your purchase, such as a bottle of lube or a drawstring storage bag for your toy.

And you’re done! It’s time to check out and wait for your custom toy to arrive. Make sure you triple-check everything before you pay, as custom orders are final and non-refundable once production of your toy has started.

How easy was that?

Thanks to Nothosaur for sponsoring this post. All views, as always, are mine. I’ll be back in January with a review of a custom toy I’ve designed using this process!

[Toy Review] Tracy’s Dog Swirlii Rotating Vibrator

Before we get into today’s review of another Tracy’s Dog toy, the Swirlii rotating vibrator, the company have asked me to let you all know about their seasonal specials that have now launched for Christmas.

Naughty or Nice? Tracy’s Dog Makes Your Nights Bright!

Have you been naughty or nice this year?  No matter your answer, Tracy’s Dog is here to make your holiday nights a little brighter—and a lot more fun. With their exclusive “Naughty or Nice” campaign, they’ve got everything you need to treat yourself or someone special this season.

Up to 60% Off: Holiday Sale You Can’t Miss

Right now, Tracy’s Dog is offering up to 60% off their popular products! From bold and adventurous to soft and romantic, their Naughty and Nice collections are designed to match any mood. Ready to explore? Check out the Tracy’s Dog’s website and find your perfect match today.

There will be several fun seasonal activities available in the Tracy’s Dog app, which you can use with many of their bestselling toys including the OG 2 & 3, the Surreal, and the Beta:

  • Find your Christmas vibe with the Naughty vs. Nice Voting Showdown
  • Find out who’s on Santa’s naughty list with a fun ranked event
  • Share your funny and sexy Christmas secrets anonymously
  • Join the “Elf on the Shelf” Remix meme challenge

Hot new products are 10% off, and the highest discount allows you to enjoy up to 59% off! Plus you can use my exclusive code “coffee10” for 10% off your entire basket.

With that said, let’s dive into today’s review of the Swirlii rotating vibrator.

Tracy’s Dog Swirlii

Tracy's Dog Swirlii rotating vibrator

The Tracy’s Dog Swirlii is a wearable rotating vibrator designed to be worn inside your underwear for hands-free pleasure. It features a main insertable shaft which sits inside the vagina and rotates in a circle, a flexible small appendage that vibrates, and an external part with a raised bump that stimulates the clit. This external arm also helps to anchor the toy in place. At first, I wasn’t sure what the little flexible appendage was for or where to put it. Eventually I realised that it is meant to go inside along with the main inserable arm.

The Swirlii comes with a remote control as well as a drawstring storage bag. It is USB rechargeable with the included magnetic charging cable, and IPX7 waterproof (i.e. completely submersible.)

The Swirlii measures around 4.5″ in length and 5″ in height. Its insertable portion measures 3.5″ in length and around 1.4″ in diameter at the widest point. It is made of body-safe lilac silicone.

What I Liked About the Tracy’s Dog Swirlii

Tracy's Dog Swirlii rotating vibrator

The Swirlii rotating vibrator is such an unusual design, and I was curious to try it out. First let’s look at all the things about it that I liked.

  • It came attractively packaged in a smart and sturdy box, and the inclusion of a storage bag is a nice touch.
  • The colour is really pretty! I love lilac and it’s a more unusual colour for a sex toy than a brighter or darker purple.
  • The silicone is soft and smooth.
  • The flexibility of the external arm means that you can position it in a few different ways depending on what works for your body.
  • At first glance, I was really confused about the shape of the insertable shaft. I couldn’t work out why it’s almost scoop-shaped rather than just rounded. Eventually I realised it’s so that it kind of hugs the vibrating appendage (sorry, I can’t think of a better term for it!) against the front wall of the vagina – i.e. where the G-spot is for most bodies – when it’s in use. This initially baffling design is actually pretty clever!
Tracy's Dog Swirlii remote

  • I love the rotating motion! As someone who doesn’t really enjoy internal vibrations, this is such a fabulous change.
  • The user interface is simple, with a single button on the toy itself and then two buttons on the remote control. Learning how to use it is a breeze.
  • Sound-wise, it’s fairly quiet. I’m not truly convinced it’s quiet enough to wear in public (unless you’re in a very noisy space like a nightclub) but the inevitable whirring noise you get with rotating toys isn’t anywhere near as bad as many I’ve tried.
  • On the higher levels, the vibrations are pretty powerful.
  • The remote’s responsiveness is good and works up to 10m away.
  • Using the remote control, you can choose to use the vibrations and the rotation together or separately. You can also scroll through the settings – 10 vibration modes and 3 rotation modes – of each motor completely independently of the other.
  • When worn with underwear, it stays in place pretty well, allowing for hands-free use.
  • At £48.15, its price point is pretty reasonable.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Tracy's Dog Swirlii rotating vibrator

There were also a few things about the Swirlii that didn’t work so well for me.

  • Inserting two different pieces inside me can be tricky and uncomfortable unless I get the angle exactly right. It also makes the actual insertable diameter wider than will be comfortable for some users. A lot of lubrication is essential with this one. A couple of sachets of lube were included, but I won’t use them because they contain ingredients such as glycerin, propylene glycol, and disodium EDTA.
  • The vibrations are very buzzy. The result is that they make my clit feel numb and tingly long before I get close to coming.
  • I would have preferred dual-directional controls, preferably on the toy itself but at least on the remote control.

This might be petty, and admittedly isn’t a gripe with the toy itself, but this bit of the marketing copy also really bugs me: “Put on your sexiest lingerie, grab Swirlii and put it right into your panties. Call up your partner and hand him a remote.” Why are we assuming my partner is a “him”? I literally work in this industry and I still find this kind of assumed heteronormativity so so offputting and alienating.

Verdict

There were a lot of things about the Swirlii that I liked. Overall, though, I unfortunately have to conclude it’s not one for me due to the diameter of the insertable portions and the buzziness of the vibrations. I still think it’s a well-designed product and will work very well for many people, especially those who are comfortable with wider insertables and who enjoy strong but buzzy vibrations.

I’m glad it exists, but I think I’ll likely be passing it along for someone else to enjoy.

The Swirlii retails for £48.15 at full price. Get it direct from Tracy’s Dog and don’t forget: “coffee10” at checkout for 10% off.

Thanks to Tracy’s Dog for sponsoring this review and sending me the Swirlii rotating vibrator to test. All views are, as always, my own.