Even those who are nowhere near as deep in the world of sex toys as I am might have heard of Tracy’s Dog [1]. One Amazon user went slightly viral back in 2019 for her hilarious Tracy’s Dog review: of her experience using the OG Sucking Vibrator, the anonymous woman wrote: “My legs went straight out like those goats who faint when scared.”
Honestly, I should probably hang up my keyboard right now because I am literally a professional sex toy reviewer and yet nothing I ever write will be as succinctly, brilliantly descriptive and hilarious as that line.
As it is, however, I’m not going anywhere and I am back with my latest Tracy’s Dog review. This time I’m looking at the Surreal bullet vibrator. Did it match up to the lofty heights of the company’s previous viral sensation?
[1] Apparently this objectively incredibly strange name came about because the company wanted their toys to become “faithful and loyal companions” like… well, a dog.
Tracy’s Dog Surreal: What Is It?
The Tracy’s Dog Surreal is a lipstick-shaped bullet vibrator with app-controlled functionalities and a single control button on the toy itself. It measures just over 3.5″ in total length, weights a petite 197g, and has a broad base that enables it to stand up.
This toy is made of body-safe silicone in bright red. It is USB rechargeable and waterproof, and offers 10 different vibration settings (3 constant speeds and 4 patterns.)
The Surreal works with an app, the bafflingly-named “Monster Party” which – as far as I can tell – appears to be a generic “interactive platform with adults” that connects up with various different sex toys.
What I Liked About the Surreal
Let’s start by talking about what I liked about the Tracy’s Dog Surreal – which, despite some issues I had with it that we’ll cover in the next section, is actually quite a lot!
- The silicone is soft and the basic construction of the toy appears to be solid.
- The lipstick design is cute and the bright red colour is vibrant and attractive.
- It arrived attractively packaged in a sturdy box with a magnetic fastener and no single-use plastic.
- I really like the shape. The broad shaft, flat end, and pinpoint tip of the lipstick design allow for different types of stimulation depending on what you enjoy and what you’re in the mood for.
- The broad base makes it comfortable to hold and use, and its petite size and light weight will make it easy and manageable for most users.
- The button is large, well-placed, and easy to press.
- It comes with a plastic case that slides over the toy like the top part of a lipstick tube. This is great for travel and for keeping the toy hygienic in storage, preventing it from picking up dust and lint if it’s sitting in a drawer for a while. Honestly, if you prefer a more rigid surface to your toys and don’t mind the extra little bit of dampening to the vibrations, you can even use it with the plastic cover on.
- In theory (more on that in a minute) it has app-control functionalities. This means you can hand over control to a partner from anywhere in the world.
- Being waterproof makes it bath/shower friendly as well as super easy to clean. Being waterproof seems to be becoming more and more of a standard in the sex toy industry. However, you don’t always see it on toys at this price-point so it’s a nice extra.
- It retails for a budget-friendly £37.27 at the time of writing, which is incredibly affordable for an app-controlled toy.
Anything I Didn’t Like?
Unfortunately, there were also a few problems I had with this toy.
Perhaps most worryingly, I could not get my toy to connect with the app at all. (Given that the app has less than two stars in the app store reviews, I can’t say I’m entirely surprised!) I followed the instructions, but nothing happened. I switched it off and back on again, and still nothing happened.
In practice, I actually use sex toy apps very rarely. I’m glad they exist, but I mostly just use them to review products then forget I have them. But if you’re specifically looking for an app-controlled toy – and considering this is one of the major selling points of this product – it’s pretty bad.
My other significant complaint about the Tracy’s Dog Surreal is that its vibrations are just… okay. They’re neither particularly strong nor particularly rumbly. I knew the moment that I switched it on and turned it up to the highest speed that it had little to no chance of giving me an orgasm.
Finally, it has one of those one-button interfaces that always annoy me so much.
Tracy’s Dog Review: Surreal Verdict
This toy is about what I would expect for the price. It’s broadly fine, but it’s nothing to write home about. Honestly, even at this price point, there are better toys available. If you want the app functionality on a budget, and don’t need particularly strong vibrations, you might get on fine with it (if you can get the app to work! It’s possible, of course, that I was just unlucky with this but given the app’s rating I can’t believe I am the only one having this problem.)
Despite the negatives I’ve pointed out, the Tracy’s Dog Surreal is a body-safe and easy to use offering. It might suit those who are newer to exploring toys, are looking for something cute and non-threatening in appearance, or prefer low-strength to mid-strength vibrations. It’ll be a great toy for some people, I just don’t think I’m one of them. As such, I will likely pass this one along so someone else can enjoy it.
Thanks to the company for sponsoring this Tracy’s Dog review. This means I was paid to write an honest account of my experience with the product. In addition, if you make a purchase through my links I will earn a small commission. All views are, as always, mine!
