[Toy Review] Monster Pub Dr Whale 2

You’ve heard of rabbit vibrators. You’ve probably heard of Satisfyer’s famous Penguin clitoral suction toy. But have you ever seen a whale vibrator before? Well, now you have! Specifically, the Dr Whale vibrator, which I recently received to test and review.

Monster Pub Dr Whale 2: Basics

The Dr Whale 2 is a curved vibrator shaped like a little whale. It measures 7 inches in total when stretched out flat (4 inches insertable) and 1.3 inches in diameter at the widest point. It houses two motors, one in the whale’s “body” and one in its tail.

Monster Pub Dr Whale 2

The Dr Whale 2 is coated in soft and body-safe silicone in a pretty shade of pale blue. It is rechargeable via the included USB cable and you get 120 minutes use out of a full charge. You also get a storage bag for the toy.

Confusingly, the website says the toy is waterproof but the included instruction booklet says NOT to submerge it in water. I’m going to assume that means it’s splashproof only, though I’m not entirely sure. I didn’t want to risk breaking it by submerging it. For a toy of this price point, though, I feel like “waterproof” should come as standard.

Monster Pub Dr Whale 2

The Dr Whale 2 features an internal heating element that warms up to a comfortable 42C within a couple minutes of being switched on. Most intriguing of all, it is controllable via the Monster Pub app (available free on iOS and Android).

App-Controlled Kegel Exerciser

One of the advertised purposes of the Dr Whale 2 is as a kegel exerciser. Performing kegel exercises regularly can help strengthen your pelvic floor, which some evidence shows has a variety of benefits from better bladder control to stronger orgasms. I delved into some of the science on kegel exercises a long time ago on this blog, and anecdotal evidence seems to suggest that while using internal exercisers like the Dr Whale 2 doesn’t necessarily make the kegel exercises more effective, using one might make you more likely to perform them regularly.

I downloaded the app and the toy connected easily. The connection is good, reliable and steady as long as you have a stable internet connection.

You have to set up an account on the app, which takes a few seconds. It also asks you to select your gender, but only offers “girl” and “boy” (which is weirdly infantilising as well as annoyingly binary.)

The app then asked me to complete a “Q&A For Girls” which consists of a few questions about whether you’re using the app alone or with a lover and whether you want to share it with a partner. It also, however, includes THIS:

I strongly suspect this is just some really, really bad Google Translate but the last thing I want to see in a sex toy app is talk of being “molested”. Gross. It also gives me pause about the app’s security and safety. Is it likely that someone is going to randomly take control of my toy? Because that’s, erm, deeply concerning if so.

Once you’re in, you can choose from a range of pre-set patterns and those created by other users. You can also create your own using the “Gesture” mode, connect with a partner via chat tools such as WeChat or WhatsApp, or make the vibes respond to movement with the “Action/Reaction” mode.

If you go into the “Health” tab at the top of the screen, you’ll find the various kegel exercise section. In this mode, a voice talks you through a range of exercises. The sessions are pretty short, stating at just 3 minutes, so they’re quite accessible. If you need a little extra encouragement to do kegel exercises regularly, you might enjoy being gently talked through it by the narrator’s soothing voice. I certainly find it helps me to actually bother doing my exercises!

The app responsiveness is good. It’s also fairly intuitive to use, with just a few basic controls to get your head around.

What About as a Sex Toy?

I like the shape and flexibility of the Dr Whale 2. I also really like the gently ridged texture of the silicone on one side of the whale’s body. Its flexy tail means it will work for a variety of bodies and comfortable positioning is easy. The downside of the flexible tail is that, when you’ve inserted the toy, it’s difficult to get a satisfying amount of clitoral pressure.

Monster Pub Dr Whale 2

I’m not really a fan of internal vibrations, though, so I soon turned to using it solely as a clitoral toy.

Unfortunately, the Dr Whale 2 really falls down for me on power. It’s not the worst by any stretch, and I’ve certainly used more expensive toys that were packing less of a punch than this one. But ultimately the vibrations are of mediocre strength and very buzzy. This toy is highly unlikely to ever get me off.

Verdict

A mixed bag here.

I do think the Dr Whale 2 is a good kegel exerciser. The guided sessions on the app are a nice touch and the vibrations add more pleasure to the whole process. As a sex toy, though, I’m unlikely to ever use it again. It’s just too buzzy and not really powerful enough to be satisfying.

The Monster Pub Dr Whale 2 retails for $119.00.

This review was sponsored, meaning the company paid me to write an honest review. All views and experiences are my own.

What are the Best Vibrators for Long Distance Play?

I’m not in a serious long distance relationship at the moment (though I do have a lovely long distance play partner). But until a few months ago, I had a partner who lived in a different city. We saw each other about once a month, and kept in touch using various methods in between. We texted, sexted, had virtual dates, and – yes – occasionally played with remote vibrators.

Sales of high-tech, remote-capable sex toys boomed in the first months of the Covid-19 pandemic. Whether you’re temporarily separated by travel restrictions, one of you is travelling for work, or you currently (or permanently) live apart, you can enjoy sex from anywhere in the world with the right remote sex toy.

This is just one of the use-cases for the large, and growing, market for sex toys that can be controlled over long distances. If you enjoy the thrill of wearing a sex toy out and about and handing control to your partner, a long-distance vibrator can also be a good investment. They tend to be much more reliable than the ones with short-range handheld remotes.

Another popular use-case for long-distance vibrators is for those who do online camming. Say you’ve set up your custom Chaturbate profile and built a loyal following, what’s next? Many performers find that using a remote vibe, and allowing fans to take control of it in exchange for tips, is a fun way to boost their earnings. Lovense toys are specifically designed with this functionality in mind.

But what are the best vibrators for long distance couples, cam models, and anyone else who needs a toy with remote control capability? Turns out that’s not a simple question to answer. Here are a few things you might want to consider to help you choose the best long-distance sex toy for YOU.

What’s Your Budget?

App-controlled and long distance sex toys are becoming more accessible, price-wise, as more and more companies are making them. You might say that sex tech has gone mainstream! Even so, there are products available at a wide range of price points. Lower priced products in this category tend to start at around the $80 mark, but you can easily spend hundreds of dollars for high-end products from some brands.

Before you start shopping, decide on your budget. You might need to compromise on some features, depending on how much you want to spend. Which brings us to…

Which Features Matter Most to You?

You should also consider which features you want your toys to have and what matters the most to you. For some people, the most important feature will be the toy’s level of power. Though there are exceptions, many people who use sex toys tend to prefer strong, rumbly vibrations over weaker, buzzier ones.

App reliability is another big factor to consider. You don’t want the connection to keep dropping in the middle of your hot virtual sex date! And if you’re into the idea of semi-public play (or live with family/roommates), the volume of the toy might also be important to you.

When it comes to power, volume, and app connectivity, the best thing you can do is read honest reviews like the ones you’ll find here and on other sex blogs. Good sex toy bloggers test things robustly and call it as we see it when we give our verdict on a product.

Some app-controlled sex toys are more feature-rich than others. At the most basic level, app control will allow your partner to switch the toy on and off and scroll through a pre-set range of speeds and patterns. More advanced products have all kinds of fancy bonus features. For example, some toys allow you to draw your own vibration patterns, sync the vibrations to music, or even use your wearable toy as an alarm.

The Lovense Connect app
App: Lovense Connect

If you’re non-monogamous or do certain types of sex work, such as camming or phone sex, the option to give control to different people at the touch of a button might be important to you. Some toys only let you add one partner to their apps at a time. This means that you have to delete and re-add every time you’re playing with a different person.

The Most Powerful App-Controlled Toys

Two of the biggest players in app-controlled sex toys right now are Lovense and We-Vibe. These products are popular for a reason – they are, in the main, high quality, reliable, and powerful vibes. But they are far from the only options on the market. Other options include Lovehoney’s Desire range as well as products from brands like Kiiroo, Svakom, and Lelo. I strongly suspect that over the next few years, most of the major sex toy brands will start bringing out app-controlled toys, if they haven’t already.

From a personal perspective, I have found We-Vibe’s products to be the most consistently powerful app-controlled toys I’ve tried. Lovense products are also generally pretty powerful. Interestingly, however, I found their most iconic and popular product (the Lush) rather lacklustre in the power department.

Consider Privacy

I am far from a digital privacy expert. I do know that some people with far more knowledge than me have expressed legitimate concerns over the privacy aspect of app-connected sex toys. Ultimately, you must do your own research and decide your level of acceptable risk. If you’re concerned, read the privacy policy of the company you’re considering buying from. You can also check out reviews from sex tech experts to see what they have to say about the privacy aspect.

A Few Specific Recommendations

As you can see, it’s not easy to give a blanket answer to the question “what are the best vibrators for long-distance sex?” Ultimately, what’s best for you will depend on your personal preferences and the various factors I’ve discussed in this piece.

But from a personal perspective, here are a few of the app-controlled sex toys that I like the most:

  • Lovense Ferri, a fabulously powerful-yet-discreet knicker vibe.
  • Lovense Domi, a genuinely brilliant wand. You don’t see app-controlled wand vibrators very often, which makes this one even more appealing.
  • We-Vibe Nova 2, an app-controlled rabbit vibe with a fantastic clit-friendly design.
  • We-Vibe Chorus, designed for clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex but also ideal for hands-free long-distance play.
  • Hot Octopuss x Kiiroo Pulse Solo, a high-tech update to the innovative masturbator inspired by medical technology.

This post was sponsored by Designurbate, a tool that allows you to customize your Chaturbate profile and stand out from the crowd. All writing and views are, as always, my own.

[Toy Review] Womanizer Starlet 3

If you’ve been around for a while, you might remember my reviews of the Womanizer Starlet and Womanizer Starlet 2. I was impressed with the original Starlet, a teeny-tiny, no-frills version of Womanizer’s classic clitoral suction stimulators, and significantly less enamoured with the Starlet 2.

The latest iteration in this range, the Womanizer Starlet 3, has just hit the market. Read on to find out how I got on when Lovehoney sent me one to try.

Womanizer Starlet 3: Details

Womanizer Starlet 3 clitoral suction stimulator

The Womanizer Starlet 3 is very similar in design to the Starlet 2. I can’t take a picture of them side by side because I passed on my Starlet 2 to a friend, but as far as I can tell they’re the same size (5″ total length) and the same shape. The Starlet 3 has the same ABS plastic body and removeable silicone nozzle, and is similarly lightweight and compact.

So what’s the difference?

As far as I can tell, the biggest difference is that the Womanizer Starlet 3 has 6 speed settings. The Starlet Original and Starlet 2 each have only 4.

Womanizer Starlet clit sucking toy

The Starlet 3 comes in a couple of new colourways, including the beautiful teal green I received. I specifically requested this because I love green and it’s an unusual shade for sex toys, so I jump on it when I see it. You can also get the Starlet 3 in blue, grey, or pink.

The Starlet 3 also arrived in revamped, sustainable cardboard packaging. Manufacturers who are still using tonnes of single-use plastic, take note.

Womanizer Starlet 3 recyclable sustainable packaging

The Womanizer Starlet 3 is waterproof and USB rechargeable via the included cable. You can clean the body of the toy with a sterile wipe or warm soapy water, and remove the nozzle to sterilise it in boiling water (or the dishwasher).

Starlet 3 in Use

Since it’s the same basic shape as the Starlet 2, many of the issues I had with that product carry over to this one. Specifically, the handle is short and the nozzle only sticks out from the toy’s body about half an inch. I find this makes it incredibly difficult to get and maintain a good angle for both maximum stimulation and comfort. This is probably an issue of personal preference rather than a fundamental flaw with the product, but if it’s a problem for me it’s sure to be a problem for at least some other users. Some of Lovehoney’s on-site reviewers have noted this issue, too.

The nozzle opening is also very small, only about half an inch across at the widest point. That means it’s probably only going to work for someone with a fairly small clit. (Yes, like all other body parts, they vary in shape and size).

The Starlet 3’s controls are fine, wth +/- buttons (which are also the on/off buttons) situated on the back of the main body of the toy. The buttons are a little stiff and require quite a firm press.

Womanizer Starlet 3 buttons

My biggest issue with the Starlet 3 is its battery life. The advertised runtime of 30 minutes on a full charge is already pretty poor. It takes many people longer than that to reach orgasm! But I found that the Starlet 3’s motor became juddery and unreliable after only about 20 minutes. If I pressed it too firmly against my body, or moved too suddenly, it would suddenly reduce in intensity or cut out completely.

Utimately, the Womanizer Starlet 3 fails the “does it get me off?” test. It didn’t on any of the three occasions I tried it. The level of power isn’t bad, especially on the higher settings. I also have no complaints about the suction sensation itself. It probably could have brought me to orgasm using the top couple of speeds, if only the shape weren’t so annoying and it hadn’t died mid-session!

Interestingly, the product copy specifically states that this toy can be used for edging (getting close to orgasm then backing off), something I and many other people enjoy. And while that’s true, it’s… also sort of true for any sex toy that is capable of bringing the user to orgasm? I’m not really sure why it’s specified for this one in particular. Plus, getting edged non-consensually because the damn battery ran out isn’t my idea of a good time.

Verdict

I really wanted to like this one. I appreciate that Womanizer have tried to offer a more budget-friendly option in their range of notoriously high-priced toys. Not to mention it’s just so pretty!

But… ugh.

For a toy that retails for £69.99 ($79.99 US), the Womanizer Starlet 3 was highly disappointing and I cannot recommend it. While the issues I had with the shape are arguably a matter of preference, there’s no excuse for the terrible battery life and unreliable motor. If you’re on a budget, the Romp Switch is a better (and cheaper!) alternative. If you can afford to spend a bit more, you can’t go wrong with the Womanizer/Lovehoney Pro40.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review. All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Toy Review] Godemiche Grind Rings “Pyramids” and “Tall Pyramids”

If you’re anything like me, “spikes” probably isn’t a word you associate with something you want near your genitals. Well, the newest Grind Ring designs from Godemiche, known as “Pyramids” or “Pyramid Spikes” and “Tall Pyramids”, a variation on the popular “Spike” texture, are a happy exception to that generally-sensible rule.

That’s right, I’m back again with another Godemiche Grind Rings review!

In Case You’re New Here…

If you’re new, you may have missed my previous posts, in which I outline what a Grind Ring is and some of the many ways you can use it. Check them out here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3. If you’re considering getting one, these reviews will also help you decide which texture is likely to work best for you.

In brief, here’s a description of what they are and how they work:

The Grind Ring is a soft textured piece of body safe silicone that’s shaped like a pizza slice with a bulge for grinding, dare we say it, it’s also more enjoyable then a pizza slice too and way fucking dirtier.

Each Grind Ring measures 6 inches in length and 4.3 inches across at the widest point. They feature a stretchy hole for a penis or dildo to fit through at the base. They’re designed to be used during penetrative sex for additional clitoral stimulation, but they’re actually really versatile and can be used in all sorts of ways, from getting you off while you’re sitting at your desk writing erotica, to changing up hand sex with different textures.

The Two New Textures

I received the new “Pyramid Spikes” and “Tall Pyramid Spikes” textures, which are exactly what they sound like. Here’s what they look like:

Pyramid Spikes and Tall Pyramids Grind Rings from Godemiche

As with all Godemiche products, you can choose from an array of gorgeous colours for your Grind Ring. I asked for purples and greens, and I received the Tall Pyramid Spikes in Winter Berry and the Pyramid Spikes in a mix of Ruby Rose and Garden Party. (As a general rule, Grind Rings are only available in single colours, so I feel very privileged to have received a limited edition one in my two favourite colours!)

The colours have a subtle shimmer and a really lovely swirling effect that you can see on the back:

Back view of Godemiche Grind Rings

Most importantly, though, how did they feel?

Pyramids

Adam from Godemiche says that the Pyramids Grind Ring texture was “inspired by a belt I happened to see someone wearing while out grocery shopping. It reminded me of my own ‘skater boy’ days when none of my trousers fit and I often opted for a studded belt to keep them around my thighs.” If you can’t picture what he means, think something like this.

I expected the Pyramids to feel a lot like the Spikes, but they really don’t. They’re less flexible, and still soft but with an overall firmer texture. I found the sensation from the Pyramids to be quite subtle compared to other designs in the range. I can best describe the feeling as a kind of pressure with some gentle texturing. For a point of comparison, the Pyramids is about on a par with the Bubbles for me, intensity-wise.

I’m unlikely to each orgasm with this one, but it’s a good warm-up texture before moving onto something more intense.

Tall Pyramids

I think the Tall Pyramids might have overtaken the Waves as my favourite Grind Ring texture of all!

The square spikes are noticeably smaller than those on the Spikes ring (see the below picture for comparison). So though that’s probably the closet comparison, they’re really quite different in use.

Godemiche Spikes and Tall Pyramids Grind Rings

The Tall Pyramids are very soft and very flexible. Since they’re so soft, they really don’t feel “pointy” at all.

You can get a range of sensations from the Tall Pyramids Grind Ring. In my experience, if I grind down hard against it, I get an all-over rubbing sensation, whereas if I support some of my weight and just glide my vulva along it, it’s more of a gentle tickle.

I think I like this texture best because you get constant stimulation as the spikes slide along your vulva. The little pyramids feel like dozens of little silicone tongues lapping at and around my clit. As you grind, they flick back and forth, offering both direct clitoral stimulation and all-over vulva pleasure.

Verdict

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: these toys are so genuinely innovative and just so damn good! They’re all very different and, interestingly, I think overall the Pyramids is my least favourite of the six and the Tall Pyramids is my favourite. But all the designs are good, it’s just a matter of individual preferences which one will work best for you.

Such a simple idea, so brilliantly executed.

Grind Rings retail for £34.99. You can get one hand-made to order in your choice of colour and texture, or grab one off-the-shelf for faster delivery.

Thanks to Godemiche for sending me these Grind Rings in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links appear in this post and using them sends me a small commission at no additional cost to you.

[Toy Review] Godemiche Morpheus

Many of you may be aware that I consider the Godemiche Ambit to be just about the most perfect silicone dildo in existence. The size, the curve, the flex… it’s all there. The fact that it comes in a huge array of colours, combinations, and even sparkly and pride flag options doesn’t hurt, either.

That’s why I was very keen to try out Godemiche’s new dildo, the Morpheus, which went on sale today.

I received the Morpheus in Emerald Glitter, a beautiful and bright shade of sparkly green. In the sea of near-endless pink/black that is the sex toy industry, being able to get things in different and unexpected colours is one of Godemiche’s big selling points.

Seriously, look how pretty it is!

Godemiche Morpheus green glittery silicone dildo

The Morpheus is made from body-safe, easy-care silicone. It’s hypoallergenic, condom compatible, and sterilising is as easy as throwing it in a pan of boiling water for a few minutes.

How does the Morpheus differ from the Ambit?

Like the Ambit, the Morpheus comes in an array of different sizing options. I received the Morpheus Thin Small, which measures 5.7″ in total length (5.3″ insertable) and 1.1″ wide at the centre of the shaft. There’s also a Thin Medium, Thick Small, and Thick Medium option. So whatever your length and girth preferences, you should be able to find a Morpheus to suit you.

The most notable difference between the Morpheus and the Ambit is that the former has a more pronounced curve. Here’s what they look like next to each other:

Godemiche Ambit and Morpheus silicone dildo comparison

The Morpheus’s head is also more gently tapered and less pronounced than the Ambit’s. This might make it more comfortable for some users and in some circumstances (more on my experiences with that in a minute).

Morpheus in use

The first thing I noticed about the Morpheus, once I’d finished admiring how sparkly and pretty it is, is that the silicone is quite matte and “grabby”. This just means it’s really, really important to use plenty of lube, which I always recommend anyway. A simple water-based lube will give you a pleasurable glide without damaging your toy (or staining the hell out of your sheets!)

Green glitter dildo

Unlike many sex writers I know, I’m not really into very girthy penetrative toys. I find that they cross the line from pleasurable to painful really quickly. When it comes to insertable things, I’m all about direct and targeted G-spot stimulation, which means that slimline toys with a decent curve tend to be the way to go. The Morpheus’s slimline shaft is perfect for my body in this regard.

Flexible dildo, green silicone dildo from Godemiche

This toy’s deep curve and bulbed head are also absolutely dreamy. The head is the ideal size for focused G-spot pressure, and the curve makes it easy to find the right spot. It’s also super flexible, which can help with comfortable insertion and positioning. I don’t have a prostate, being a cis woman, but if you’re someone who does I can imagine this toy would be equally perfect for P-spot play. Its flared base makes it anal safe.

The Morpheus comes with a nice wide base, so it’s perfect for popping into your strap-on harness if that’s your thing. I also appreciate this wider base designed because it makes for a convenient handle, making the toy easier to hold and manipulate.

Pro tip: fan of strong vibrations internally? Place a high-powered wand vibrator against the base of your dildo.

Verdict

Comfortable, slimline shaft? Check. Great curve? Check. Pronounced head for targeted G-spotting? Check. On all counts, the Godemiche Morpheus is a genuinely excellent dildo and a worthy addition to the company’s range and my collection. It’s also currently living on my desk because it’s so sparkly it makes me happy every time I look at it.

The Morpheus retails from £44.99 – £52.99 depending on which size you go for.

Thanks to Godemiche for sending me this product to review. All views are, as ever, my own. Affiliate links appear within this post.

[Toy Review] Godemiche Grind Ring “Hearts”

Happy Valentine’s Day, loves!

I’m generally not too fussed about Valentine’s Day these days. In non-plague times it’s as good an excuse for a date as any, but I’m not super into the idea of expressing love just because it’s a particular date. I’d rather show my love all year round. With that said, I’ve decided to mark the day in two ways: I’m wearing my “DM Me” heart tights from Snag, and I’m bringing you a review of Godemiche’s new Grind Ring texture, “Hearts”.

What is a Grind Ring and how do you use it?

If you’re new here, you may have missed my previous reviews (part 1 and part 2) of the Grind Ring collection. In Godemiche’s own words:

The Grind Ring is a soft textured piece of body safe silicone that’s shaped like a pizza slice with a bulge for grinding, dare we say it, it’s also more enjoyable then a pizza slice too and way fucking dirtier.

They measure 6 inches in length and 4.3 inches across at the widest point, and feature a stretchy hole for a penis or dildo to fit through at the base.

There are currently six textures available, of which Hearts is the newest addition. I knew I wanted my Hearts Grind Ring in a Valentine’s-themed colour, so I opted for Ruby Rose. It’s a gorgeous and shimmery red/pink, and on the flat back side of the toy you get a beautiful marbling, swirling effect. Here’s what it looks like:

Godemiche Hearts Grind Ring, Valentine's Day sex toy
Back of Godemiche Hearts Grind Ring, Valentine's Day sex toy for women and people with clits

The intended purpose of a Grind Ring is to wear it around the penis or dildo during penetrative sex with someone with a clitoris, so that the receptive partner can grind against it and enjoy additional clitoral stimulation (which, as we know, is essential to reach orgasm for a significant majority of cis women and other people with vulvas).

However, as I’ve discovered, there are numerous other ways to enjoy this toy. While it’s certainly fun to use during P-in-V sex with my partner, I actually mostly use my Grind Rings by placing them on a firm surface (my desk chair is ideal) and grinding against it from a seated position. I also regularly use them as an accessory for hand sex, as that allows me to feel all the lovely texture while having finer control over the pressure and angle. Other good options include using it with a dildo for solo sex, or placing it over the head of a powerful wand vibrator.

As always, the only “right” way to use a toy is the way that feels right for you.

Texture: Hearts

So the Hearts Grind Ring is obviously cute as fuck. But how does it feel in use? I had a feeling I was going to get along well with this one as soon as I saw it, and I wasn’t disappointed. The hearts are sufficiently raised to provide a unique, and moderately intense, sensation. For a point of comparison, I’d describe the Hearts texture as less intense than the Spikes texture but more intense than the Waves or Bumps.

Due to the shape of the hearts, I find this Grind Ring is more intense on the downward motion than on the upward motion. The smooth silicone, coupled with the deeply ridged texture, is divine when paired with tonnes of lube. Of all the Grind Ring textures I’ve now tried, the Hearts is the one that gets me off the most quickly and the most consistently.

I’d recommend this one to people who enjoy firm pressure with their clitoral stimulation. It’s as functional as it is pretty and I’m a little bit in love.

Pro tip: I like to put a little clitoral balm on the toy itself for added intensity.

Verdict

Definitely a toy that’s not just for Valentine’s Day! I just received my Hearts Grind Ring a few days ago and it’s fast becoming an absolute favourite.

You know what else I love about these toys? Apart from the fact that they feel amazing, that is. As far as I can tell, there really isn’t anything else quite like this on the market. Genuine innovation is pretty rare in this industry, where copycat products and occasionally blatant design stealing are rampant. And oftentimes, when a sex toy is original in design, it’s also… kind of terrible. So to come across something that’s both actually innovative and actually good is a breath of fresh air.

The Hearts Grind Ring retails for £34.99. Get one for yourself or your favourite clit owner. You won’t regret it.

Thanks to Godemiche for sending me this product to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. Buying through my links helps to keep the blog going at no additional cost to you. All views, as always, are mine.

5 Sexy New Year’s Resolutions I’m Making

Belated happy 2022, folks! I completely failed to mark the occasion, but 31 December 2021 was the fifth anniversary of Coffee & Kink. What started out as a little passion project ended up completely changing my life. So whether you’ve been here since the beginning or you’re just joining me now, thank you so much for reading.

With the beginning of the year comes new challenges, new adventures, and – yes – new year’s resolutions. I don’t really believe in the “typical” resolutions, because I think they’re mostly built on false premises and values I don’t subscribe to. 

What I do believe in, though, is taking any opportunity to focus on and improve our sex lives! Whether you’re planning to buy a vibrator for the first time, switch to eco-friendly sex toys (more on why this is one of mine in a minute!), or talk to your partner about trying BDSM, I hope you’ll take time for yourself and your pleasure this year. 

To that end, here are five sexy new year’s resolutions I’m making in 2022.

Become a More Conscious Consumer

Love Not War Koi eco friendly vibrator

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my impact on the planet. I stopped eating meat several years ago, but I’ve started incorporating more vegan foods into my diet, buying locally where possible, and generally trying to approach food in a more sustainable way. I don’t have periods at the moment (praise Mirena!) but, if I start having them again, I’ve promised myself that I’ll try reuseable menstrual cups instead of pads or tampons. Of course, no-one is perfect and it’s impossible to completely mitigate one’s environmental footprint, but if we all make small steps they really can make a big difference.

One way to become a more conscious consumer, and one that is often forgotten, is in the realm of sexuality. And one of the most fun ways to do that? Buy eco-friendly sex toys!

I recently tried the Koi vibrator from Love Not War. Love Not War vibrators are made using as few materials as possible, and are constructed from silicone and recycled aluminium. There is no single-use plastic and the small amount of plastic that is necessary is recycled within the factory. It arrives in eco-friendly, brown cardboard packaging, and even the little storage pouch for your toy is made from environmentally friendly bamboo fabric. Best of all? The electronics unit works with all the interchangeable heads, which you can buy separately. So you can try lots of different sensations without needing to buy a new battery unit for each one.

Love Not War Koi sustainable vibrator

Oh, and it’s a damn good vibrator, too. The Love Not War Koi is powerful, rumbly, and has a fabulous wide head for all-over vulva stimulation.

Other ways to make your sex life more environmentally friendly include switching to ethically-made lubricants with organic ingredients, buying lingerie made from sustainable and recycled fabrics, and avoiding products with tonnes of single-use plastic packaging. Buying glass, silicone, or stainless steel toys instead of hard plastic is another great option, as is choosing rechargeable toys rather than those powered by disposable batteries. Some manufacturers, such as Lovehoney, will also recycle old sex toys so they don’t end up in landfill.

Remember to Masturbate for Fun!

“So, what, you get paid to masturbate?” people say when I tell them I test and review sex toys for a living. And… yes, kind of, but not really. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do and I’m incredibly lucky that I get paid to try out some awesome and innovative sex toys. But it’s far more than just “being paid to masturbate”.

For every toy review that appears on this site, there are hours of testing, taking notes, and sometimes discussing the product with my partner. Then there’s writing it up, proofreading and editing, taking and editing photos, creating a header image, adding tags and categories, and then promoting the post on social media once it’s live.

I love my job, but it’s still my job. This year, I want to remember that self-pleasure is supposed to be about, well, pleasure. This means taking the time to masturbate just for fun, with the toys (or lack thereof) that I feel like using, without the pressure to write about it afterwards. 

Start Dating Again

This one might be a little trickier, what with that ongoing pandemic thing, but I’m an optimist and I’m going to do my best!

Many of you may remember that I went through a truly terrible break-up in late 2021. As a result, I decided to take a long break from dating anyone except my nesting partner. This was unquestionably the right decision, as I needed time to process and heal from what happened. But I’m starting to feel like dating again might be a good thing for me.

I’m trying to keep my resolutions for 2022 squarely in the realm of “things I can actually control”. So I’m not going to promise to go on 15 dates this year, or have a girlfriend by December (if only…). But I am going to get myself back on some dating apps, flirt with some pretty humans, and maybe ask someone out if they seem like a good fit.

Take More Sexy Selfies

My body image has been a little all over the place recently. Perhaps unsurprising in these ongoing Covid times. As a result, I haven’t been taking many sexy pics recently except when I need them for lingerie reviews. I always get a good reaction when I do take them and send them to a lover, play partner, or long distance crush… and honestly, even if I don’t send them to anyone, taking them and looking at them makes me feel hot and desirable.

2022 shall be the year of the nude selfie!

Try a New Kink

What will that new kink be? I don’t know yet! But I recently read Kate Sloan’s fabulous book, 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do, and it’s given me more than a few ideas.

One of the things I love the most about sexuality is its infinite variety. Just when I think I’ve seen it all, I come across a new kink or fetish I’ve never even heard of. So maybe this year I’ll try something that’s been on my bucket list for years, or maybe I’ll end up trying a kink I don’t even know exists yet. The point is less about the specific act itself, and more about committing to a state of ongoing openness, curiosity, and adventure.

What’s on your 2022 sexy resolutions list, lovelies?

This post was sponsored by the good folks at Love Not War, an eco-conscious and sustainable toy company that also happens to make gorgeous, powerful vibrators in a range of interesting shapes and styles. All opinions are, as always, completely my own. Images are by Love Not War and used with permission.

[Toy Review] Hot Octopuss PleX with Flex

Do you all remember the Kurve vibrator from Hot Octopuss? I raved about the Kurve because of its dual “treble and bass” motors, which allow the user to customise not just the intensity level of the vibrations, but also where they fall on the buzz-rumble scale. Well, a new Hot Octopuss toy has arrived, and it uses the same tech. But this time, it’s for your butt. Meet the PleX with Flex.

What is PleX with Flex?

The PleX with Flex is a vibrating butt plug by Hot Octopuss. It measures 5.5″ in total length, of which around 5″ are insertable, and 1.7″ in diameter at the widest point. The plug sits on a wide base. As the name suggests, it’s ultra flexible, bending up to 90 degrees in any direction.

My PleX with Flex arrived packaged in Hot Octopuss’s signature, sleek black packaging with a picture of the toy on the front. In the box you’ll find your plug, a little square remote control, a branded storage pouch, a charging cable, and an instruction leaflet. I do appreciate that Hot Octopuss always include a storage bag with their toys. It’s such a small thing but it really does help a more expensive product feel like value for money.

PleX with Flex vibrating butt plug in its box

The PleX with Flex is made of smooth and body-safe matte black silicone. It is also fully waterproof, though the remote control is not. It’s rechargeable via the included USB cable.

What I Liked

By far my favourite thing about the PleX with Flex is its shape. The smooth, tapered shape makes insertion comfortable, and the ultra flexible nature of it means you can position the toy exactly how you want. I don’t have a prostate but for people who do, I’m informed that the curved shape of the PleX with Flex makes it ideal for targeted prostate pleasure.

PleX with Flex black silicone butt plug from Hot Octopuss

The PleX with Flex’s motors are also fantastic. It houses a rumbly (“bass”) motor towards the bottom of the shaft, and a buzzy (“treble”) motor towards the tip. With independent controls (we’ll talk more about the and five available pattern settings for each motor, you can create an enormous range of different experiences and sensations. Best of all, each motor is powerful. I’m not a big fan of buzz, so I eventually found that the sweet spot for me was to have the buzzy motor on low and the rumbly motor on a higher setting.

PleX with Flex vibrating prostate massager

The large base, which essentially functions as a handle, also makes it possible to thrust with this toy, if you want to. That’s unusual in a butt plug style toy. For that reason, I’d recommend this one if you’re working up to anal penetration with a penis or a larger dildo.

The PleX with Flex also isn’t too loud relative to its vibration strength. Even outside the body it’s pretty quiet, and when it’s inserted the sound is muffled still further. You might not want to use it out in public, but there’s no way you’ll wake the neighbours!

The PleX with Flex is also easy to keep clean. I recommend using a body-safe sterilising wipe then wash it thoroughly in warm water and gentle soap.

Anything I Didn’t Love?

The PleX with Flex is fundamentally a well designed toy. Its shape is dreamy and its motors are excellent. With that said, there are a few things I think could be improved.

My biggest complaint lies in the buttons and controls. Placing the controls on the bottom of the toy’s base is an odd choice for this one. This makes it impossible to see the buttons when the toy is inserted. So you have to either rely on touch alone (possible but not ideal), ask your partner to change the setting for you if you’re using the toy together, or take it out to change the setting and then reinsert. None of which is ideal.

PleX with Flex silicone prostate massager buttons

I could forgive this if the remote control was brilliantly designed, but it’s… not. Hot Octopuss’s remote controls are inexplicably tiny. I think they’re going for discretion but, unless you’re going to use the toy in public (which, as I’ve said, I don’t recommend) I’d rather have a slightly bigger control that’s easier to use. Being so small, it’s difficult to hold and easy to lose. I much, much prefer the wrist strap design offered with toys like the Pulse Solo Lux.

Remote for remote control vibrating butt plug PleX with Flex

The battery life is also a bit of an issue. It lasts about an hour on a full charge. But with a charging time of 4 hours, I would have liked its run time to be a little longer.

From a personal experience perspective, another downside is that the PleX with Flex is slightly too big. It took me a long-ass (ha) time to write up this review, partly because my butt is rarely up for taking something of this size. This is less an objective criticism, admittedly, than a personal preference. I’d really love to see them release a mini version alongside this one, for those of us who prefer a smaller anal toy. So if any Hot Octopuss designers are reading…

The PleX with Flex isn’t really a leave-in toy. Given the size of the base and the location of the buttons, sitting or walking around all day with it in isn’t really possible. This isn’t really a downside as such, just something to be aware of. This is a toy

Verdict

It’s a mixed bag for me with this one. Ultimately, the PleX with Flex is a toy that meets specific needs well. If you’re looking for a butt toy with strong motors and an ability to experiment with buzz/rumble as well as power level and patterns, this is the one for you. I also recommend it if you’re looking for a vibrating anal toy you can thrust with. On the other hand, if you’re looking for something more akin to an “insert and leave in” anal toy, this is not it.

At £89.95, it’s not a cheap toy. While its body-safe materials, well-designed shape, and powerful motors work in its favour, there are notable downsides that make it hard to give an unqualified YES to this one.

PleX with Flex banner from Hot Octopuss sex toys

The PleX with Flex is available from Hot Octopuss, who sent me the product in exchange for an honest review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

How Wand Vibrators Helped Me Reclaim My Sexuality When Antidepressants Killed It

I’ve been on antidepressants for the majority of my adult life, in three separate stints (having come off them most recently earlier this year). I’m very pro medication for those who need it which, at the times I was taking it, I absolutely did. I’m not exaggerating when I say that those meds saved my life on more than one occasion.

Wand vibrators - Honey Wand from Honey Play Box
Honey Wand by Honey Play Box

But like any medications, antidepressants often have side effects, which can range in severity from mildly annoying to seriously debilitating. One of the worst side effects I experienced on two out of the three antidepressants I tried was a significant change to my sexuality. This manifested in different ways on each drug.

On Fluoxetine (Prozac), I pretty much lost my sex drive entirely for months. Anything that had been pleasurable just felt like… nothing. This wasn’t limited to sex, either – I also lost my appetite and all ability to derive pleasure from food. On Citalopram, I lost my ability to orgasm while my body adjusted to the meds. While this did have some pleasant results (particularly discovering that I have an orgasm denial kink), it was also upsetting and frustrating. Feeling like I had no control over my body and like I’d lost one of my greatest sources of pleasure was so damaging that I seriously considered coming off the meds that were otherwise helping with my depression.

Trying Sex Toys

The first time antidepressants killed my sex life, I was so thoroughly miserable (both from the depression and from the side effects of the meds) that I wasn’t even interested in reclaiming it. I’m pretty sure I didn’t have sex or masturbate for about nine months at one stage. In hindsight, this probably made things even worse, because my sexuality has always been one of the key ways that I access pleasure and joy. At that time, I didn’t own any sex toys, and any touch from either myself or my partner left me cold.

The second time was a different matter, though. This time, the antidepressants actually took the edge off the worst of the sadness and hopelessness, and I still wanted sex. I just couldn’t orgasm, either with my partner or by myself. Though orgasm is not necessarily the goal of sex, this quickly became frustrating and then enraging. I felt like my body was betraying me. Like I had to choose between having a properly functioning brain and a satisfying sex life.

The turning point came when my then-partner pulled out a wand vibrator after about a month of this issue. That thing finally broke through the orgasm block. And, once that dam broke, it became easier and easier to get there again. I invested in a wand for myself pretty quickly after that, and it became my go-to toy.

Breaking Through the Depression-Haze

Even now, when I’m not currently on any psychiatric medication (though I accept I might be again in the future), I’m most likely to reach for my wand vibes when I’m in the middle of a bad depression funk. Contrary to popular belief, it’s still possible to feel horny at the same time as being depressed. Sad people need pleasure and orgasms, too! There have also been times when I haven’t felt horny, but I knew intellectually that an orgasm would make me feel better.

Sometimes, when I’m very very depressed, I feel as though there’s a kind of fog around me. The fog keeps me at least partly disconnected from everything and everyone around me. At its worst, it creates a sense of being somewhat outside and detached from my own body. In this state, many types of touch that would normally be pleasurable struggle to penetrate the fog. When that happens, I need intense stimulation and lots of it. It’s times like this that I might crave certain BDSM activities even more than usual. It’s also times like this when knock-your-socks-off powerful wand vibes are a Godsend.

The thing with my favourite wand vibes is that ultimately, they can wrench an orgasm from my body with very little active input from me. This has a lot of fun potential (forced orgasm scenes anyone?) It’s also extremely useful during periods of significant depression. If I want to orgasm at my own or a partner’s hand, or with a lower powered toy, it can be fun but often requires significant effort, mentally if not physically. With a powerful enough wand, I basically just put it in the right spot and wait for the orgasm to happen. In this way, I can access pleasure and the positive physical and mental health benefits of orgasm even when I feel so low I don’t want to leave my bed.

Sexual Pleasure Matters

When someone is dealing with severe health issues, either physical or mental, it’s often tempting to see sexual pleasure as trivial. Certainly when I spoke to my doctor about the side effects of my various medications, they dismissed my concerns. Did I want to be able to orgasm or did I want to not be sad? Because I couldn’t have both.

Except I actually could, and I needed and deserved to have both.

If you’re struggling with pleasure or orgasm due to health issues and medication, I want you to hear this: sexual pleasure matters! It’s not trivial and it’s not unimportant. If it’s important to you, then it matters. And you deserve to have what you need to feel sexually satisfied – whether that’s a change of medication, a super powerful vibrator, or just to change up what you’re doing.

Thanks to Honey Play Box for sponsoring this post. All views and experiences are my own!

[Toy Review] Agent Provocateur X Lovehoney Rumba Wand Vibrator

I have never owned a single thing made by luxury lingerie brand Agent Provocateur. This is partly due to the fact that they make only a very few bra styles and zero unwired designs in my size (36G in case you were wondering), and partly because I do not live in a world where spending tens or even hundreds of pounds on a pair of knickers is a reasonable financial choice. Even so, every time I am reminded that they exist, I find myself sighing over the pretty things and wishing I was both wealthier and smaller busted.

So naturally, when I saw that Lovehoney had teamed up with Agent Provocateur to create a line of sex toys, I simply had to get my hands on one to try.

Agent Provocateur X Lovehoney Rumba Wand Vibrator

I received the Rumba Wand Vibrator. This silicone wand measures 7″ in length and features a broad, prominent head and flexible neck.

My Rumba Wand Vibrator arrived in an attractive pink box with Lovehoney and Agent Provocateur branding. Inside, the toy sits in a very stylish zip-up leather case with rose gold zip and Agent Provocateur branding. It’s definitely real leather, so that’s something you might want to be aware of if you’re vegan or have ethical objections to leather. Absolutely top marks for stylish and luxurious presentation!

The Rumba Wand Vibrator is coated in super soft, body-safe black silicone. Its handle is firm to the touch, while the head has a nice level of squish. The button panel is the same rose gold as the adornments on the case, and the base of the toy features the Lovehoney heart insignia on one side and the Agent Provocateur logo on the other side.

The Rumba Wand Vibrator is USB rechargeable and waterproof.

In Use

In case you’re new here: hi, I’m Amy and I have a wand vibrator obsession! I collect every type I can get my hands on. I even once did a big compare and contrast (though that’s now woefully out of date, so I should probably do another one). All this to say that I am predisposed to like wands, but I am also very discerning.

So did the Rumba Wand Vibrator pass the test?

First, the good. I love the Rumba’s flexible neck, which allows for easy and comfortable positioning. The ultra squishy dual density silicone of the head also feels lovely. The user interface is simple, with one button to change between the 7 patterns and one button to change between the 3 levels of intensity.

Flexible vibrator, wand massager with bendy neck

There’s also a nifty setting where, if you hold down the bottom button (the one for the patterns), it will switch back to continuous vibration no matter what pattern setting you were on. Pretty useful for people who don’t care for patterns, especially if you accidentally hit the wrong button when trying to change speeds.

So with credit given where it’s due for this toy’s good points, what didn’t I love? The main issue with the Rumba Wand Vibrator is that it’s just not as powerful as I wanted it to be. A rechargeable mini wand vibrator is never going to be as powerful as a mains powered wand, of course. But even taking that into account, the motor was neither as strong nor as rumbly as I would expect from a toy at this price point.

I can orgasm with the Rumba Wand Vibrator if I’m very turned on and at least somewhat patient, but it takes effort. Since I tend to reach for my wand vibes when I want a quick and easy orgasm, I doubt I’ll be using this one regularly.

The battery life isn’t great, either – 45 minutes for a full (2 hour) charge.

Finally, and this is a small issue but it’s really bugging me: the rose gold coating on the button panel is already starting to chip off. It doesn’t affect the functionality of the toy, but I’d expect better from a product with a £110 pricetag and a luxury brand name behind it.

Verdict

I really wanted to love this one more than I actually did.

Though it has some good design points and is clearly made of safe and high quality materials, the Rumba Wand Vibrator falls down in the functionality department with its disappointing, buzzy motor. Considering it retails for £109.99 ($149.99 US), I’d have expected it to pack more of a punch than it did.

If you’re after a basic middling-power wand vibe, it’s fine, but be aware that you’re paying for the brand name as much as anything. You can get a better mini wand, or even the world’s best wand vibrator, for less money.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.