Tag: sex toys

A lower border of red roses. White text in a red heart reads "Tu Mando Rose"

[Toy Review] Tu Mando Rosé Sonic Bloom

Published on by Amy

After almost a decade in this industry, it’s rare that I look at a sex toy and go “huh, that’s something I’ve never seen before!” But that’s exactly the reaction I had to the Tu Mando Rosé Sonic Bloom. This cutie landed in my review queue recently along with the Tu Mando Leaf necklace vibrator, which I reviewed last week.

Tu Mando red silicone rose vibrator viewed from the side

Yes, it’s another iteration on the surprisingly enduring “rose” trend. No, it’s not just more of the same!

What is the Tu Mando Rosé Sonic Bloom?

The Tu Mando Rosé Sonic Bloom is a two-part toy that looks like a rose with a handle. The “stem” part is a traditional vibrator suitable for either internal or external use, while the flower part has a raised pearl that rotates beneath the silicone, designed for clitoral stimulation.

Close up of Tu Mando rose vibrator head
Tu Mando rose vibrator viewed from the top to show the control panel

This toy is made of body-safe silicone in (what else?) rose red. It measures just over 5″ in total length, 2.44″ across the rose head, and 1.37″ in diameter at the widest insertable point.

The Tu Mando Rosé is IPX7 waterproof, making it suitable for use in the bath or shower. It is rechargeable, with a full charge giving 60-90 minutes of runtime depending on what settings you’re using.

What I Liked About the Tu Mando Rosé

Tu Mando red rose "Sonic Bloom" vibrator

The handle/stem part of the Tu Mando Rosé is a good vibrator. I was surprised, when I turned it on, how powerful it is. It’s also moderately rumbly. The stem is insertable, and the flexible join between the head and stem makes it easy to position comfortably. The three raised ridges on the underside of the stem provide additional clitoral stimulation if you’re using it externally.

Let’s talk about the real gem of this toy, though: the rotating pearl head.

I’ve said before that there is no such thing as a toy that accurately mimics cunnilingus. I stand by that. The warmth and wetness of a mouth and the precise feel of a tongue is almost impossible to replicate with the technology we currently have. This toy, though? I might go as far as to say it’s the closest a toy has come so far to replicating that sensation. The rhythmic rotating of the pearl reminds me of a partner’s tongue moving in circles on my clit, especially if I hold it lightly against my vulva.

The texturing on the “face” of the rose also really adds to the clitoral pleasure this toy provides. Sensation-wise, this is a toy for a long, slow session and a gradual build-up. The sensation rises slowly, almost teasingly, giving me the kind of orgasm that takes a while but is more than worth the pay-off. No matter how long I use it, I don’t get numb or overstimulated. And if I need a little more intensity to get over the edge, as I sometimes do? No need to grab another toy, I just spin it around and use that lovely stem vibrator.

Lubrication is essential with this one. Slather it generously over the entire head of the toy for the best experience.

Ergonomically, this toy is comfortable to hold and use. It’s light, the handle is a good size and shape, and the head provides a useful handhold when you’re using the stem.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Tu Mando Rose red rose vibrator

My main complaint about this toy is its noise. The vibrator’s noise is about at the level I’d expect, but the rotating pearl function makes a horrible whining noise that I find really difficult to tune out. I’ve sometimes had to put my headphones on when I’m using this toy. The volume isn’t super bad, but something about the frequency and consistency of the whining just really grates on my sensory-sensitive brain.

Though this toy has two buttons, they’re each functionally a one-button interface. The clitoral stimulator and the vibrating stem are each controlled by a single button. This means you have to cycle through all the settings (three speeds and seven patterns for the vibrator, two speeds and five patterns for the clitoral stimulator) to find your favourite. I’m not sure the rose head really needs so many patterns; apart from the two constant speeds, they all feel broadly the same.

The button placement (on the top side of the rose head) is a little weird. When I’m using the head end, I have to either pause or contort my hand at a weird angle to change the setting.

It’s kind of annoying to clean. All those lovely little ridges and folds, which admittedly (as I said above) enhance the sensation a lot, can trap fluids and bacteria. Take extra care in these areas when cleaning the toy.

Verdict

Minor annoyances aside, I absolutely love this toy!

My intrigued “huh, that’s different” when I realised what it does turned into an “oh, yes, absolutely” when I tried it out. It’s not only innovative and a little different from any other toy I’ve seen, but it actually gets the job done every time. The sensation is unlike any other toy I’ve tried and that sensation is, frankly, fucking fantastic.

The Tu Mando Rosé Sonic Bloom retails for £89/$119 and is available directly from Tu Mando. Use code AMY for 20% off any Tu Mando order.

Thanks to Tu Mando for sending me this product to review! All views, as always, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header image featuring a close up of the veins in a red leaf. Text reads: Tu Mando Leaf

[Toy Review] Tu Mando Aurae Leaf Necklace Vibrator

Published on by Amy

Readers often ask me for recommendations for small, discreet, or travel-friendly toys. And it doesn’t get much more small and discreet than Tu Mando’s Aurae Leaf necklace vibrator.

But how does it perform?

Details

Tu Mando Leaf necklace vibrator

The Aurae Leaf from Tu Mando is a miniature clitoral vibrator shaped like, well, a leaf. It’s tiny, less than 2″ in total length, and weighs just 27g. It is made of bright red body-safe silicone, and has a loop attached so you can wear the vibrator as a necklace.

The Leaf is IPX7 waterproof, i.e. fully submersible in water. It is rechargeable via the magnetic connectors on the back and included cable.

What I Like About the Tu Mando Leaf Necklace Vibrator

Pink box with black text reading "necklace vibrator"
Tu Mando Leaf in black foam packaging in a pink box

Let’s look at the pros of this product first.

  • The design is aesthetically pleasing. I like the delicate leaf shape and the red and gold colourway. The overall vibe is one of luxury and premium quality.
  • The shape is excellent. You can either press the leaf flat against your clit, or use the soft and flexible tip for pinpoint stimulation.
  • It genuinely is tiny. If you’re looking for discretion or something that will take up almost no space in your travel bag, this does fit the bill.
  • Due to its small size, it is also easy to fit the Leaf necklace vibrator between bodies during penetration or other types of sex, if you like.
  • It’s pretty quiet, coming in at under 40dB on the highest settings.
  • It comes with a five year warranty so if anything goes wrong, you’re covered.
  • Tu Mando takes real care over packaging and presentation, adding to the luxurious feel when you receive and unbox the toy.

What I Don’t Like

Much as my overall first impressions were positive and I wanted to love the Aurae Leaf, it also has some major issues that make it more of a miss than a hit for me.

Tu Mando Leaf in the palm of a woman's hand to show how small it is

  • The “necklace vibrator” thing feels needlessly gimmicky. I’m not convinced you could wear it out and about without someone figuring out it’s a vibrator pretty quickly. I also can’t think of any good reason you’d want to wear a vibrator as a necklace (outside of, say, a sex party, where you wouldn’t need to hide what it is anyway.)
  • With 10 modes and a one-button interface, scrolling through to find the setting you like is annoying.
  • The button itself is tiny, flat, and difficult to press and to find without looking.
  • The motor. Oh, god, the motor. I wouldn’t expect something this size to be the most powerful toy in the world, but it must be possible to do better than this. The Tu Mando Aurae Leaf has the weakest, buzziest motor I’ve encountered in a very long time. Not only is it never going to give me an orgasm, I can barely even feel it. The motor is so, so bad it really outweighs everything good about this toy’s design.

Tu Mando Necklace Vibrator: Verdict

Unfortunately, this one is a no from me.

Despite the cute design and promising shape, the Tu Mando Leaf necklace vibrator’s motor is unforgivably bad. There’s no point making a toy to be small, discreet, and travel-friendly if it’s so weak you can barely feel it and so buzzy that, if you do get any sensation from it, you’ll be numbed out in minutes.

It’s pitched as “beginner-friendly,” but too often this is used as a cover for a crappy motor. Being new to toys doesn’t mean you want weak sensations! If anything, if this was my first toy I’d probably assume sex toys didn’t work for me and not bother with them again.

At £75 full price, this toy is egregiously overpriced for what it is.

The Leaf is available directly from Tu Mando. Use code AMY for 20% off any Tu Mando order.

Thanks to Tu Mando for sending me this product to test and review. All views, as always, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Woman licking a white ice cream in a pink cone. Text reads: Lovehoney Lick Me Review

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Lick Me Vibrating Pussy Pump and Tongue Vibrator

Published on by Amy

It’s been a long time since I tried my first pussy pump. While I found the sensation itself just okay, the real benefit was in the extra sensitivity it left me with after use. So I was intrigued by the concept of combining pumping with direct clitoral stimulation. That’s why I requested the Lovehoney Lick Me Vibrating Pussy Pump and Tongue Vibrator to review.

Lovehoney Lick Me: Details

Lovehoney Lick Me pussy pump vibrator with tongue in purple

The Lovehoney Lick Me is a three-part toy: the main part features a pussy pump-style suction cup, with a flickering tongue inside it. The idea is that the cup sucks up a large part of the vulva, and the tongue stimulates the clit. The handle is also an insertable vibrator.

The Lick Me measures a hefty 10.2″ in total length. The insertable part of the handle/vibrator measures 5.5″ .

The main body, handle, and tongue are made of silicone. The pump cups are made of plastic with silicone rims. This toy is rechargeable, with a 2 hour charge giving around 80 minutes of runtime. It is splashproof but not fully waterproof, so don’t take this one in the bath or shower and don’t submerge it to clean.

The vibrating end offers 3 constant speeds and 5 patterns to choose from. There are also 8 patterns of tongue movement and 3 suction intensities.

What I Liked About The Lovehoney Lick Me

Lovehoney Lick Me pussy pump vibrator with tongue in purple

Before I dive into all the problems I have with this toy, let’s look at the things I did like.

  • The suction is effective and not too intense. When I can ignore the noise for long enough (see below), I do genuinely enjoy the sensation it provides. The on/off suction provides pulsing, rhythmical stimulation. I can see myself using this part of the toy, if nothing else, as a warm-up or to increase sensation on low sensitivity days.
  • When the vibrating end is switched on, it’s reasonably powerful and not overly buzzy.
  • The Lovehoney Lick Me comes with two suction cups of different sizes, to suit different anatomy. Also useful if you want to use it on your breasts and nipples! The cups being removable makes the toy easier to clean, too.

What I Didn’t Like About This Product

Lovehoney Lick Me pussy pump vibrator, close up view of buttons

Unfortunately, aside from those few positive points, things went sideways quickly when I started using this toy.

  • The “tongue” piece is located too far inside the suction cup. Even with it on full suction, it just barely managed to reach my clit. Other reviewers have commented that it didn’t make contact with their clitoris at all.
  • The sensation the tongue provides when it does make contact is pretty lackluster. Even on the highest setting, it felt frustratingly light and even the slightest pressure made the movements stop. When I tried the tongue without the suction cup in place, it had the same problem as so many so-called “tongue vibrators”: it’s just a bit of rigid silicone flicking back and forth, which feels more pokey than pleasurable
  • The noise it makes is horrible. Specifically, when the suction is on it makes a distracting noise I can best describe as a whine or a screech. It was so grating I found I could only really use the toy with my earphones in to block it out. Very far from ideal.
  • There are 4 buttons, but the controls still manage to be super annoying. There’s an on/off button, one to control the tongue, one to control the suction, and one to control the vibrating handle. There are no dual-directional controls for any of the features.
  • The Lovehoney Lick Me’s buttons are small, difficult to see, and difficult to press. It’s almost impossible to know which button you’re pushing without pausing to look, which breaks the flow and often results in changing completely the wrong setting. They have little markings on them, but they’re both tiny and mostly nonsensical.
  • Though the motor in the handle is decent, I also don’t really understand why it’s there. You can’t feel it through the top part of toy toy when using the suction and tongue, and it’s hardly an ergonomic toy to hold the other way around. I guess if you just wanted a toy that does as many different things as possible, it would make sense, but toys that try to do too many things often end up not doing any of them particularly well.
  • The toy is long, bulky, and heavy.
  • The battery life is poor.
  • At this price-point, I would expect the toy to be fully waterproof.

Verdict

Lovehoney Lick Me pussy pump vibrator, close up view of suction cup

This one had as lot of promise, but some pretty significant flaws in execution. I still like the idea, but the reality just doesn’t really work at least in this form. It’s also far too expensive for what it is.

I think I’m starting to have a real issue with “tongue toys” in general. They seem to be based on the premise that just shaping something vaguely like a human tongue is enough to convince a user that a toy feels like receiving cunnilingus. Thing is, neither our brains nor our vulvas are that stupid. A little plastic or silicone thing flicking back and forth or poking me in the clit doesn’t feel like a partner’s tongue, and it is an insult to users’ intelligence to claim it does.

Can the flicking sensation feel good? Sure. But let’s call it something else and stop pretending toys are convincing replacements for acts that can (currently, at least) only be done with human partners.

The Lick Me retails for £99.99/$99.99 and is available from Lovehoney UK or Lovehoney US.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review. All views and writing are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

A black wall with text in a purple circle. Text reads "Hismith 4.0 Sex Machine Review"

[Toy Review] Hismith Premium 4.0 Sex Machine

Published on by Amy

I’ve wanted to do a Hismith review ever since they first came onto my radar, and I’m delighted to have received the Hismith Premium 4.0 sex machine to test. Now that Mr C&K have taken it for an extensive spin, I can tell you upfront that (spoiler alert) yes, it’s worth the money.

Let’s get into it.

Hismith 4.0: Details & Stats

Official product image: Hismith

The Hismith Premium 4.0 is a modular sex machine made from stainless steel and ABS plastic. It weighs 11.5kg and measures 18.03” x 17.67” x 10.23” when fully assembled.

Yes, this is a hefty piece of kit!

Along with the machine, the kit also contains:

  • The frame (comes in several pieces for assembly at home)
  • A power supply
  • A wired digital display controller
  • A set of anti-skid covers
  • A realistic silicone dildo measuring 8.3″ in total length (5.8″ insertable, 1.6″ maximum width)
  • A waterproof canvas storage and carry case
  • A dust cover
  • 2 Allen wrenches for assembly

The Hismith Premium 4.0 runs on a 100W turbine motor. It has a massive 100 inbuilt speeds, with a maximum speed of 267 strokes per minute (that’s around 4.5 strokes per second!) The stroke length is also adjustable, from 1.3″ up to 5.03″. The included wired remote control has a 2.5″ digital display. You can also use the machine with the Hismith app, if you like.

The machine is highly adjustable, with a full 180° of range.

I received the Hismith Premium 4.0 in black to review, but it’s also available in purple.

Assembly

Hismith 4.0 sex machine with dildo attached

Everything you need to set up your Hismith Premium 4.0 sex machine is included, so you won’t need any additional tools. (Though you might find a tape measure or ruler handy to ensure the vertical bar is positioned centrally when secured to the horizontal bar.)

We found the instructions clear and the process straightforward.

It’s totally possible to set up the Hismith 4.0 by yourself, but it’s easier with two people. From unboxing the machine to plugging it in and switching it on, the process took me and Mr C&K about 30 minutes. But remember this is a one-time process. You can take your machine apart between every use, of course, but I don’t recommend it unless absolutely essential.

Close-up of Hismith sex machine mechanism

The Kliclok mechanism is secure, and makes it super easy to attach and detach a dildo or other toy. Swapping out your attachments takes literally seconds. It appears to be a proprietary design, so you won’t be able to use toys from other brands with your machine out of the box, but Hismith offers various adapters to make other toys compatible. Hismith also has an extensive catalogue of compatible dildos, masturbators, and anal toys available.

Once your machine is set up, adjusting the angle is easy thanks to quick-release locking mechanisms (no tools required, so you won’t need to break the mood if you need to adjust mid-session.)

Hismith 4.0 Sex Machine Review: In Use

It’s hard to know where to start with all the things I love about the Hismith Premium 4.0.

Hismith 4.0 Premium sex machine

When we took it for a test run, the reason behind the Hismith 4.0’s weight and bulk became apparent. Even on a soft surface (our bed, in this case) it was able to stand on its own and remain in position on all settings. If you’re looking for a truly hands-free sex machine, this is it. I like that I can keep my hands available to touch my partner or hold a vibrator while I’m using the machine.

When I’ve tried cheaper sex machines and thrusting toys, one of the biggest problems has been that they simply… stop mid-use. They’re often no match for the clenching of a vagina (or a butt), particularly at the point of orgasm, causing them to get stuck or just cut out. Absolutely no such issues here. Even on the very slowest setting, the Hismith 4.0 keeps up a steady, smooth, and consistent thrust.

The adjustable stroke length is perhaps one of my favourite features of this machine. I’m someone who doesn’t always enjoy very deep penetration and, even when I do, it requires a lot of warm-up to get there comfortably. Being able to choose a short stroke length and gradually increase means I don’t have to risk getting painfully poked in the cervix.

The adjustable angles are also, of course, excellent. It means you can use the toy in all kinds of positions. Seated, standing, lying down, on your back, doggy style… truly endless possibilities.

These features, combined with an incredible 100 speeds, means you can create exactly the experience you want to have. And, of course, you can change things up as you go or do something different next time, if you like. Speaking of all the speeds: start low and work your way up. For the sake of the review, we tried every single one of the Hismith 4.0’s 100 speeds. Personally, I can’t go any higher than the 50s and still be having fun, but your mileage may vary. The roller wheel on the remote control makes it easy to change speeds rapidly if you need to.

There are also patterns to play with, and (particularly important if you’re using the higher speeds) a quick-stop button that turns the thrusting off immediately.

The included dildo is more or less perfect. While I would have preferred a less realistic aesthetic (the option to choose your own dildo or attachment would be cool!), I otherwise can’t fault it. The size is satisfying but not intimidating. It’s just flexible enough to be comfortable but just rigid enough that it doesn’t fall out or miss during use. And in some positions, the balls stimulate my clit when I have the machine set to a longer thrust length.

Hismith dildo close-up attached to 4.0 sex machine

Noise-wise, the Hismith 4.0 is also impressive. Nothing of this level of power is going to be silent, but it’s also not obtrusive. And, mercifully, it doesn’t make the horrible screeching/squeaking noise that many thrusting toys give out. (Story time: I was once at a sex club and I heard a noise from across the room that sounded, I kid you not, like a seagull squawking. I looked over and realised the noise was coming from a very squeaky fucking machine.)

Hismith sells a huge range of accessories and add-ons to make its machines more versatile. There are platforms and extenders to increase the height, leg rests, vibrator holders, and more. I appreciate that it comes with a storage case and a dust cover.

More Options with the Hismith App

I’ll be honest: app functionality isn’t really my thing. I try a lot of toy apps as part of this job, but I rarely (read: basically never) use them as part of my actual sex life outside of the testing and reviewing process. We all spend so much time on our phones anyway. I don’t really want to be using it during sex, too.

But if you’re a fan of toy apps, you can get even more functionality out of your Hismith sex machine with the Hismith app. It’s free to download, and allows you to choose a pre-programmed thrust frequency or create your own, hand over control to a partner (including long-distance), connect with other users via chat (and hand over control to them, if you like), and change your machine’s speed with the swipe of a finger.

Hismith 4.0 Sex Machine Review: Verdict

Hismith 4.0 Premium sex machine

I can’t believe I’m telling you a toy that retails for £569/$599 is worth the money, but I am!

If you enjoy penetrative sex and you’re looking for a toy that will do the hard work for you, the Hismith Premium 4.0 is a brilliant investment.

This is an incredibly well-designed and well-made machine. I fully expect it to last for years. The app functionality, the option to add different attachments and accessories, and the exceptional versatility really take this one to the next level.

Great work, Hismith. You’ve converted me. I also invited my lovely metamour to try this machine and, in her words, “it’s raised the bar so much it’s ruined any other sex machine for me!”

You can buy this machine directly from Hismith. Coffee & Kink readers can get 10% off any order with code HISMITH10

Thanks to Hismith for sending me this product to test and review. All views, as always, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header image with a blue wheely suitcase. Text reads: Womanizer Next Liberty Review

[Toy Review] Womanizer Next Liberty

Published on by Amy

It’s been more than two years since I reviewed the Womanizer Next, the next-generation iteration of the bestselling clitoral suction toy. It’s still one of the suction toys I reach for most often and recommend to my readers and workshop participants. Given its success, I’m not surprised to find there’s a new, smaller and travel-friendly version now out. I received the Womanizer Next Liberty to test and review.

What is the Womanizer Next Liberty?

The original Womanizer Liberty was a smaller, portable version of Womanizer’s classic clitoral stimulator. The Next Liberty, then, is the compact and portable answer to the Womanizer Next.

This petite clitoral suction toy measures just 4.7″ in length and comes with a magnetic cap. This not only ensures discretion and prevents it from accidentally turning on in your bag, but also helps to keep the toy clean and hygienic.

Womanizer Liberty Next in travel case

The handle and case are made of ABS plastic, while the nozzle and main body are body-safe silicone. It is available in pink, blue and red, or a dark wine shade called “Bordeaux.” I received the blue and red version.

The Womanizer Next Liberty is IPX7 waterproof and USB-C rechargeable. The charging port has a little silicone cover, so just make sure this is closed before you use the toy in the bath or shower. A full charge takes around 90 minutes and gives you 120 minutes of runtime.

Womanizer Next Liberty Review: What I Liked

Womanizer Liberty Next with travel case removed

I absolutely love the “Next” generation 3D version of Womanizer’s patented Pleasure Air Technology. The so-called Dynamic Dimension Drive (which sounds like something out of a car ad)allows you to control not only the speed and intensity, but also the “depth” of the suction. There are 8 speeds and 3 levels of suction depth to choose from.

A setting that feels kinda “meh” on a shallow suction setting is absolutely transformed when I shift it to the deep suction. This extra level of adjustment also offers more flexibility to suit different bodies and different levels of sensitivity (as our bodies can change day to day.)

Womanizer did this “Pleasure Air” thing first, and honestly I still think they do it best. The Next Liberty’s sensation is smooth, rhythmic, and intense. Thanks to its effectiveness, small size, and good battery life, I’ve started keeping this one close to my bed alongside my favourite bullet vibrator.

A few other things I like about this toy:

  • Its small size means it fits comfortably in my hand, even for longer sessions.
  • The shape of the body makes it easy to angle and position.
  • Unlike many of the suction toys I’ve tried, the nozzle opening is actually big enough to completely fit over my external clitoral glans.
  • The three buttons are easy to press, satisfyingly clicky, and easy to differentiate from one another by feel without needing to pause to look.
  • DUAL-DIRECTIONAL CONTROLS! Yes, there are both + and – speed buttons, and yes, it really does make that much of a difference.
  • The nozzle is removable, which makes it a breeze to clean.

Downsides and Things to Be Aware Of

Womanizer Liberty Next held in a woman's hand

As is so often the case: this toy is great. It’s the marketing fluff that’s pissing me off. The new 3D version of Pleasure Air is awesome, and I do love the enhanced smoothness of the suction. But the marketing copy describes this as an “oral-like rhythm,” which is going to lead those not in the know to expect a toy that feels like receiving cunnilingus.

It doesn’t. There’s no such thing (yet.) Sorry.

A couple of other things to be aware of:

  • Unlike the Womanizer Next and various other iterations, the Next Liberty does not the have Smart Silence feature. This function, which switches the motor off automatically when the toy isn’t in direct contact with the body, isn’t something I personally care about much but it may matter more to you.
  • It also doesn’t have the Autopilot mode or Afterglow features the Womanizer Next boasts. Again, these are add-ons and I don’t think they materially change all that much about the toy for most people, but it’s something to consider if you care about these features.
  • It is not, despite what the ad copy claims, “whisper quiet.” It’s not horribly loud, but if you want a near-silent toy, this isn’t it.

Womanizer Next Liberty: Verdict

This toy is so good!

I often roll my eyes at new versions of existing toys. Many times, the manufacturer barely changes anything and is simply trying to cash in by getting existing customers to buy again. However, Womanizer’s “Next” range is a truly worthy next-generation addition. The new motor and depth control features make a huge difference.

I also prefer the shape and size of this one over the earlier Liberty iterations.

The Womanizer Next Liberty retails for $129/£119.99 and is available from Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney US, Shevibe, or directly from Womanizer Europe or North America.

Thanks to Womanizer for sending me the Next Liberty to review. All writing and views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

A bowl of raspberries. Text reads: Hello Nancy Berri review

[Toy Review] Hello Nancy Berri

Published on by Amy

Sex toy trends come and go. Some of them make sense, while others are anywhere from “wait, what?” to utterly unhinged. And right now, it seems that toys shaped like fruits and vegetables are having a moment. Well, in a world where we’ve all collectively decided the aubergine emoji means “penis”, I suppose it was only a matter of time. Anyway, all this to say that following my Lem lemon vibrator review, I’m back with another Hello Nancy review: this time, we’re looking at the Berri.

Hello Nancy Berri: Details

The Hello Nancy Berri is a clitoral toy shaped like… well, a berry. Specifically a raspberry.

Hello Nancy Berri tapping clitoral stimulator

It features something called TapSphere™ technology (patent pending). The top of the toy has an opening a little like the nozzle on a suction toy, with a stalk in the centre that stimulates the clitoris via a rapid tapping motion instead of traditional vibrations.

The Berri measures a petite 6.9 cm (2.7″) in height and width. Its surface is coated in body-safe silicone in raspberry pink/red. The Berri is IPX7 certified waterproof, meaning you can safely submerse it in water. It comes with a USB charging cable, and a full charge takes 90 minutes and gives you up to 2 hours of runtime.

Interestingly, this toy is specifically marketed as a toy for edging—getting close to orgasm and then backing off. As this is a pretty significant kink of mine, I was curious to say the least.

What I Liked About the Hello Nancy Berri

As usual, let’s start with what I liked.

The Berri’s tapping stimulation is genuinely excellent. I don’t often agree with sex toy marketing fluff, but I have to hand it to Hello Nancy: they’ve nailed it with this one. The Berri is very much a slow-build toy for me. It’s not something I’d reach for on a low sensitivity day or when I want to get off quickly and get on with my day. But when I want to take my time and let sensation build slowly, this toy is ideal.

Hello Nancy Berri tapping clitoral stimulator

The six constant speeds are well graded, starting off feather-light and building up to rapid and intense. There are also six patterns, if that’s your thing. The sensation is targeted and precise, a little like a suction toy. But, unlike a suction toy, you don’t need a “seal” over your clit to get the full effect. This means you can move the toy around more easily, if you like.

Another thing I loved about the Berri: it’s quiet. Genuinely quiet toys are hard to come by, and whenever a company claims their toy is “whisper quiet” I laugh and roll my eyes. The Berri genuinely is, though. Even on the highest setting, it doesn’t get above a low hum.

What I Didn’t Like

Though it’s cute to look at, the shape is also the most annoying thing about the Hello Nancy Berri for me. The round, bumpy body is a pain to hold and angle, particularly for the long sessions this toy is designed for. Much as I’d like to use this toy for an hour or more, my hand starts to cramp up in a quarter of that time.

All the little ridges also make it a pain to clean, and the bulges around the nozzle means I have to press it quite firmly against my body to get reliable clitoral contact.

The button is difficult to find, particularly once you’re mid-use. It’s small and blends into one of the toy’s bumps. I also hate the single-button interface, particularly since Hello Nancy cites “smooth transitions” as one of the selling points of this toy. There’s nothing smooth about struggling to find a button, and then having to press the damn thing 12 times to go back one setting.

Hello Nancy Berri Review: Verdict

Hello Nancy Berri tapping clitoral stimulator

Mixed, but ultimately more positive than negative.

This is not a toy I can get off with quickly. And, to be fair, Hello Nancy does mark this very clearly as a “slow build” toy. While this can feel a little prescriptive, especially with the suggested time intervals given on the product page, it beats the hell out of “ORGASM IN 60 SECONDS GUARANTEED!” The actual sensation, though? 10/10, no notes.

Next, I want to see this glorious clit-tapping technology put into a more ergonomic toy so I can really take my time with it without needing to take breaks to deal with hand cramps. Cute aesthetics shouldn’t take priority over the actual user experience.

The Berri retails for £85/$95 and is available directly from Hello Nancy. My readers can get 25% off this or any other Hello Nancy order by using my referral link.

Thanks to Hello Nancy for sending me this toy to review. All views, as always, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Picture of a Hismith sex machine, text reads "We Cancelled the Threesome and Bought a Sex Machine Instead"

[Guest Post] We Cancelled the Threesome and Bought a Sex Machine

Published on by Amy

Today’s guest post is kindly sponsored by Hismith, manufacturer and retailer of premium sex machines.

My partner and I had been talking about a threesome for six months. It started on a road trip, one of those conversations where you’re tired and honest and the guardrails come down. Neither of us had done it before and we both found the idea electric: bringing someone new into the mix, seeing each other through someone else’s eyes, breaking out of the five-year routine that had started to feel a little too predictable.

But the hypothetical discussions that were fun at midnight felt heavy and a little too real in the light of day. The logistics alone were a nightmare. Coordinating three schedules, managing jealousy, finding someone we both liked—it suddenly felt less like planning great sex and more like executing a corporate merger. Every time we found someone we thought we might be into, the same questions and insecurities arose. Who was more into them? Whose idea even was this, really? 

That’s when it hit us: what we actually wanted wasn’t an extra person in our bedroom. It was just… something new. Something that would shake up our routine without shaking up our relationship. So we tabled the idea of opening up our relationship and started looking at things we could enjoy just the two of us instead. Ultimately, we bought the Hismith 4.0 Premium.

I didn’t expect it to work. Not the machine itself; I’d read enough reviews to feel confident it would perform. What I didn’t expect was how much this new sexual adventure would bring to our relationship. 

You might (reasonably!) wonder why we’d spend nearly $600 on a sex machine instead of choosing something cheaper and less space-intensive, like a dildo or vibrator. But when we started looking at toys together, we realised that what we were looking for wasn’t just power or speed, but a toy to play a specific role. A typical vibrator or dildo still requires someone to hold it, position it, control the rhythm. A sex machine, though, takes this labour out of the equation. My partner could lie next to me, witnessing my pleasure without any physical obligation to perform. The Hismith sex machine enabled us to shift between the roles of active participant and relaxed witness, and that’s what ultimately made the threesome fantasy unnecessary. We didn’t actually want a third person. We just wanted the equivalent of a third pair of hands.

The Specs

The Hismith 4.0 Premium has a stainless steel and ABS plastic body. Its 100W brushless turbine motor can deliver up to 267 strokes per minute, with a stroke length that’s adjustable from 1.3”up to 5.03”. It retails for $599/£599. 

Fully adjustable, the Hismith 4.0 allows you to enjoy various different positions. One One silicone dildo (5.8” insertable length) is included, and the KlicLok system allows you to purchase and use additional attachments if you like. It also comes with a wired digital display controller, a set of antiskid covers, an adaptor, a canvas storage and travel bag, and the various components you’ll need to set it up. 

This machine weighs 11.5kg and measures 18.03” x 17.67” x 10.23” when fully assembled. 

What We Loved About This Hismith Sex Machine

The Hismith 4.0’s KlicLok quick-change system is a breeze to use. I’ve tried machines where swapping out one attachment for another meant sweating over a tiny screw while the whole thing wobbled. With this one, though, it’s as quick and easy as swapping a camera lens. With different types, textures, and sizes of toys available, you might find yourself swapping them more than you think, sometimes mid-session. But because there’s zero friction to doing it, there’s no reason not to. 

The Hismith app also pleasantly surprised me. I’m cynical about smart toys, which are often laggy and frustrating to use. But the Hismith 4.0’s Bluetooth connection was rock solid and responsive, with virtually no delay. 

Noise-wise, this machine definitely makes a noticeable sound, but the level is totally acceptable. The brushless motor hums but doesn’t scream. If your walls are thin, you might want to stick to lower settings late at night or when others are home.

Things to Be Aware Of 

I love this machine, but storage is an issue. This thing pretty much as to live out in the open. Though a large carrying case is included, it’s not a “tuck in the nightstand drawer and forget about it” product. If you have room-mates or nosy visitors, plan your setup accordingly. And if you live in a small apartment and space is at a premium, you might like to consider a mini sex machine instead. 

The Shifts That Surprised Me: What The Hismith 4.0 Sex Machine Did For My Sex Life

The biggest surprise wasn’t the pleasure and orgasms this machine gave–that was expected. No, what surprised me the most was the pressure it lifted.

I’m the type of person who worries about performance during sex. “Is this taking too long?” “Is my rhythm off?” “Are they still enjoying this or do they just wish I’d hurry up and finish already?” With this machine, that anxiety evaporated. There’s nothing to manage because there’s no person on the other end to disappoint. No coordination is required. Just presence. The machine does the labor and all you have to do is feel. If you’ve ever been the partner who worries you can’t last long enough, or the partner who worries they’re asking for too much, you might recognise the relief you feel when you find a solution that works. For us, that solution was a fucking machine. 

The first time we tried the Hismith sex machine, my partner said something I think about a lot. They said: “I finally got to fully relax and just watch you feel good, without carrying the pressure of having to make it all happen.” That’s not something a handheld toy can offer, but it also wouldn’t have been a fair expectation to put on a third person. The machine allows us to go as long as we want and stop when we’re done. 

Is the Hismith 4.0 Sex Machine Worth It?

$600 is a significant investment, and this machine isn’t going to be“impulse purchase” territory for most people. But the build quality is exceptional. And, compared to the emotional cost of a threesome we absolutely were’nt ready for, it was a bargain. 

If you’re looking for something that functions as an extra pair of hands without the pressure, jealousy, or scheduling hell of opening up your relationship, a sex machine can be a fabulous investment. Just maybe skip it if you don’t have the storage space! 

About the Writer

Quin is a writer focused on wellness, lifestyle, and emerging technology topics. He enjoys exploring how innovation influences modern relationships and everyday experiences.

All views in this sponsored post are the writer’s own. 

Header image for Creature Cocks Tentavibe tentacle vibrator review

[Toy Review] Creature Cocks Tentavibe

Published on by Amy

I’ve reviewed quite a few tentacle dildos at this point—especially considering I don’t even have a tentacle kink—but never a tentacle vibrator. But that’s about to change, because the Creature Cocks Tentavibe landed on my desk recently courtesy of Babeland. Let’s get into it.

What is the Creature Cocks Tentavibe?

The Creature Cocks Tentavibe is a tentacle vibrator measuring a lengthy 10.7″ in total (7.6″ insertable.) Despite its long length, the Tentavibe has a fairly narrow girth, coming in at 1.5″ in diameter at the widest point. It has a slight backwards curve ending in a forward-curving tapered tip. There are two rows of tentacle suckers along the front side of the vibrator, and the rest of the shaft is covered in rippling raised bumps and ridges.

Creature Cocks Tentavibe tentacle vibrator

The Tentavibe is made of body-safe silicone in a gorgeous, iridescent teal colour. The handle features a little screen which indicates the toy’s battery level and which of the 9 vibration modes it is set to.

This toy is rechargeable, with a 1-2 hour charge giving 45-60 minutes of runtime. It is IPX5 water resistant, which means it is splashproof but shouldn’t be taken into the bath/shower or submerged in water.

What I Liked About the Tentavibe Tentacle Vibrator

While I wasn’t initially super excited about the Tentavibe, once I unboxed it I quickly realised there were a lot of things about it I was going to like.

So you know the thing about tentacles? Even if, like me, you feel indifferent to them aesthetically, they can offer some very interesting things sensation-wise. I’m not that into heavily textured insertable toys, but the Tentavibe offers just the right level for folks who enjoy some texture without it being too extreme. The flexible shaft makes it comfortable to insert, and the hooked tip is ideal for intense, targeted G-spot stimulation.

Tentavibe tentacle vibrator by Creature Cocks

If you’re someone who prefers clitoral stimulation, the Tentavibe’s tentacles are absolutely dreamy for that. Thanks to the shape of the toy, you can either use it hand-held or put it underneath you and grind against its length. Oh, and that curved tip? Also absolutely incredible for lovers of pinpoint stimulation. When the power is turned up, this tip flicks rapidly back and forth and provides a sensation that’s somewhere between vibrating and tapping.

The other pleasant surprise about the Tentavibe? This thing is powerful. I wasn’t expecting much from the motor, but it’s packing some real power. When I switched it on, I had to check it wasn’t one of those weird designs where the toy switches on at the highest setting. But no, it just has a genuinely incredible motor—powerful and surprisingly rumbly.

Tip of the Creature Cocks Tentavibe

Some other things I like about the Tentavibe tentacle vibrator include:

  • The screen on the base. It not only makes it easy to remember your favourite settings by number, but also indicates how much battery you have left. Anyone who has ever had an orgasm thwarted by a toy dying at the wrong moment will understand the benefit here.
  • The ergonomic bulb shape of the handle, which is comfortable to hold even for lengthy sessions.
  • The toy is light
  • The motor is fairly quiet, particularly considering its impressive level of power.

Anything I Didn’t Like About the Creature Cocks Tentavibe?

Top down view of Tentavibe tentacle vibrator

This toy is a surprising winner, and I don’t have many negative things to say about it. Just a couple of small things to be aware of:

  • The battery life isn’t great. I can get off with this toy quickly, but I need to remember to charge it between uses due to the short runtime.
  • It has a single-button interface. While it only has 9 settings (3 speeds and 6 patterns,) it’s still annoying to have to scroll through them all to go back one step.
  • I would expect a toy of this price-point to be IPX7 waterproof, i.e. submersible and suitable for use in the bath or shower. I don’t really care about this personally as I almost never use toys while bathing, but it also makes it a bit of a pain to clean the Tentavibe between uses.

Tentavibe Tentacle Vibrator: Verdict

Overall, I have to rate the Tentavibe highly for both sensation and versatility. It’s rare to find a toy I rate for lovers of both internal and external stimulation, but this tentacle vibrator has a fantastic combo: powerful motor, great texture, incredible shape. I fully expected this to be a “test, review, never use it again, eventually pass it on to a friend” product, but I think it might enter my regular toy rotation.

The Tentavibe retails for $79.75 and is available from Babeland and Good Vibes.

Thanks to Babeland for sending me this product to review. All views are my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

A red mushroom with white spots. Text reads: Maia Toys Shroomie

[Toy Review] Maia Toys Shroomie Mushroom Vibrator

Published on by Amy

Perhaps surprisingly, the Maia Toys Shroomie is actually the second mushroom vibrator to join my collection. When Babeland offered me some products to review, I was immediately drawn to the cute aesthetic, ergonomic-looking handle, and broad wand-like head of this small clitoral vibrator. But how did the Shroomie actually perform?

What is the Maia Toys Shroomie?

Maia Toys Shroomie mushroom vibrator

The Shroomie mushroom vibrator is part of Maia Toys’ “Trippy Toys” range. It measures just under 5″ in total length, with a head diameter of 2.2″. It is made of body-safe silicone, and is shaped like a little mushroom with a white stalk that’s slightly curved and wider at the bottom, and a red cap.

The Shroomie is rechargeable, with a full charge taking around 3 hours and giving 90-120 minutes of runtime. It is also IPX7 waterproof, i.e. submersible in water.

What I Like About This Cute Lil Mushroom Vibrator

While I was initially drawn to the Maia Toys Shroomie for its fun and unusual aesthetic, there are also plenty of other things to like about this vibrator!

  • The silicone is ultra soft and smooth, and the head of the mushroom is squishy in a way that feels almost dual-density. The upper layer has a soft, pliable texture with some give, then there’s a firm core underneath.
  • The shape of the head is fantastic. If you enjoy the broad head design of wand vibrators, you’ll probably enjoy the Shroomie as a miniature alternative. You can either use the flat, broad top of the head, or tilt it sideways or upwards to use the ridge at the underside.
  • Due to the aforementioned shape, the Maia Toys Shroomie is an absolutely dreamy vibrator for grinding against. If I place it under my body, the combination of the upward curve of the handle and my body weight anchors it in place.
  • When I first looked at the Shroomie’s handle design, I thought it’d probably be really nice to hold and I was right. The curved handle fits comfortably in my hand, allowing me to angle the toy easily and to press the buttons without breaking m my flow. Since it’s small and pretty light, this is an easy to hold and easy to use toy.
  • The buttons are easy to press and the controls straightforward.
Shroomie mushroom vibrator buttons

  • With 15 different settings to choose from, including 3 speeds and 12 patterns, the Shroomie is a good beginner-friendly toy for those looking to experiment with different external sensations.
  • The vibrations are pretty good! You’re never going to get the same power out of a toy like this as you’d get from a full-size wand, but it’s a decent mid-level motor for the price.
  • I don’t normally care about packaging that much. I mostly just want it to be functional and eco-friendly. However, I have to commend Maia Toys for the Shroomie’s fun packaging design decorated with quirky psychedelic imagery.
  • A storage bag is included.
Maia Toys Shroomie product box with psychedelic mushroom designs

Anything I Didn’t Like?

While the Maia Toys Shroomie has a lot to recommend it, there were also a few things I found frustrating.

  • The lack of dual-directional controls. 15 settings is a lot, and scrolling all the way through them to go back one level is enough to throw me off my game and leave me annoyed. There are literally two buttons already! Adding + and – controls would be so easy!
  • Though the motor is decent in terms of strength, the vibrations are still pretty buzzy.
  • This is really a matter of preference, but I don’t love the flexible neck. This is the kind of toy I want pressure from, and it’s frustrating that if I press it too hard against my vulva, the flexible neck bends it away.

Maia Toys Shroomie Mushroom Vibrator: Verdict

Maia Toys Shroomie viewed from the head

The Maia Toys Shroomie is probably coasting along a little too much on its cuteness factor. (We’ve all had days like that amirite?) I do think it’s a good beginner-friendly vibrator with plenty of settings, a mid-strength motor, and a non-threatening aesthetic, with some excellent features—most notably, that gorgeous squishy silicone! But at $44.95 it’s also fairly expensive for what it is, and let down by the buzzy vibrations and lack of two-directional controls.

The Shroomie is available from Babeland and Good Vibes.

Thanks to the Babeland team for sending me the Maia Toys Shroomie to review. All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header image for Hello Nancy Lem lemon vibrator review

[Toy Review] Hello Nancy Lem Lemon Toy

Published on by Amy

After close to ten years in this industry and in the era of TikTok, I really should know to stop trying to predict sex toy trends. From the rose toys that the internet was going crazy for a few years ago to that unfortunate (and dangerous) crystal egg fad, sex toy microtrends come and go. The latest seems to be this lemon-shaped toy by Hello Nancy, known as the Lem, which I received to review.

Viral Lemon Clitoral Suction Toy: What is the Hello Nancy Lem?

Hello Nancy Lem lemon vibrator

The Lem by Hello Nancy is a small clitoral suction toy shaped like, well, a lemon. It measures a petite 3″ in total length and has a small nozzle at one end that sits over the clit and stimulates it via suction-like air pulses.

The Lem is made body-safe silicone in (unsurprisingly) lemon yellow. It is rechargeable, with a 90 minute charge giving around 2 hours of runtime, and IPX7 waterproof, i.e. submersible.

With a score of 4.7/5 over almost 2000 reviews on TrustPilot, and hundreds of social media posts dedicated to extolling its virtues, this little toy has been a big hit. But what did I think of it in use?

Hello Nancy Lemon Review: What I Liked

As is customary around here, let’s begin with what I liked about the Hello Nancy Lem.

  • It looks like a lemon! Which is just so random and silly I can’t help but be slightly charmed by it. I’m not convinced by the argument that this makes it “discreet” (who keeps a lemon in their nightstand?) but then again I’m the sort of person who uses improbably enormous dildos as desk ornaments/paperweights, so I’m probably not the target market when it comes to discretion.
  • It came attractively packaged in Hello Nancy’s signature hot pink and yellow packaging. While I thought the size of the box was a bit excessive for such a small toy, it’s all cardboard so it is recyclable. A storage bag was also provided.
Hello Nancy Lem lemon vibrator in box sent for review

  • The 8 constant suction speeds are well-spaced and offer a nice gradually-increasing intensity.
  • The actual sensation is decent. The suction has a good depth and feels very smooth. The power level is also excellent, particularly on the top few settings.
  • The Hello Nancy Lem is pretty quiet, if that matters to you. Its noise level is on a par with some of the higher-end clitoral suction toys on the market, and significantly quieter than many traditional vibrators.

What I Didn’t Like

Hello Nancy Lem lemon vibrator

  • The nozzle is far too small. It measures only 1cm across (less than half an inch). I don’t have a particularly large external clit, but I still found this toy’s nozzle too small to enclose it properly.
  • The edges of the nozzle are a little too thin and firm to be entirely comfortable for me. I prefer a broader, squishier nozzle rim.
  • I don’t find it particularly comfortable to hold. Though it’s petite and light, the shape makes my hand start to ache after a few minutes.
  • Almost no-one likes patterns even in traditional vibrators. Is literally anyone using them on a suction toy? The four inbuilt patterns are completely unnecessary and just make the user experience more annoying.
  • Speaking of which, and I know regular readers just knew I was going to complain about this: the damn single button interface! A toy that costs well over £100 should have dual-directional controls at the very least.

Hello Nancy Lem Lemon Toy Review: Verdict

Ultimately, I think this is a fine but not great product that’s coasting along a little too much on a cute aesthetic. I suspect it’s a combination of the cuteness factor and the fact that there are countless really bad toys out there that has so many people thinking this is the best thing ever.

Hello Nancy Lem lemon vibrator held in a woman's hand

Or maybe I’m just absurdly picky when it comes to toys. I’ve been making a living evaluating them for a decade so, you know, that might well be the case.

The Lem is an average clitoral suction toy that has a fun aesthetic and gets the job done, but at £139/$169 at full price, is probably kinda overpriced for what it is. It’s a beginner-friendly design, but not really an entry-level price. Can I get off with it? Yes. Is it going to become a staple favourite? No.

Buy the Lem directly from Hello Nancy and get 25% off this or any other Hello Nancy product when you use the above link.

I received this product in exchange for an honest review. All views are my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.