[Toy Review] Mr Hankey’s Toys Captain’s Hook Curved Dildo

I’m really pleased to be back with another Mr Hankey’s Toys review following my mini-series last year. The Mr Hankey’s team recently got back in touch recently and asked me to pick another three toys to review. As soon as I saw it, I couldn’t resist the gloriously curved dildo that is the Captain’s Hook.

Extreme Curved Dildo: Mr Hankey’s Toys Captain’s Hook

Mr Hankey's Toys Captain's Hook, a bright pink curved girthy dildo

The Captain’s Hook by Mr Hankey’s Toys is a realistic silicone dildo with an extreme curve. It is available in four sizes, with the total length ranging from 8.25″ to 12″ in overall length. Its central shaft diameter ranges from 2.06″ to 3.23″. It is also available in four firmness levels ranging from very soft to extra firm.

Having had previous experience with Mr Hankey’s products and their impressive sizes, I chose the smallest size for my Captain’s Hook dildo. This means my toy measures 8.25″ in length, 7″ in insertable length, and 2.06″ in diameter at the centre of the shaft. Whichever way you look at it, the Captain’s Hook is a large dildo even in the smallest size.

I requested my Captain’s Hook in the second softest of the four options. As with all Mr Hankey’s products, you can customize your product with your choice of colour. The Captain’s Hook dildo is advertised in a metallic gunmetal grey, but I like my electric UV pink choice better! (Femmes gonna femme, amirite?)

A curved extra large hot pink dildo

This toy has a large, thick base which allows it to stand up on its own as well as making it theoretically harness-compatible (though, as we’ll see below, this might not work so well in practice.)

What I Liked About the Captain’s Hook

I knew I was going to love this toy as soon as I saw it on the Mr Hankey’s site, and I was right. Curved dildos are amazing for targeting the G-spot, and this is the most extremely curved silicone dildo I’ve ever owned. I’ve also found that they allow me to experiment with larger toys while minimising the risk of hitting my cervix, which is something I find intensely painful.

This dildo’s curve is so intense that I can get plenty of enjoyment from using just the first two or three inches, if I’m not in the mood for full insertion (which the body often isn’t even if the mind is willing.)

Interestingly, th Captain’s Hook is actually listed on the Mr Hankey’s site as a “prostate massager.” I have neither a prostate nor a sufficiently brave butt to attempt anal insertion of this toy, myself, but I’m sure it would feel amazing for folks who are into larger anal toys and target the prostate in the same way as it does the G-spot.

The softness level of this toy is also pretty ideal for me. The 75% soft silicone is a middling density, with a little bit of squish. This enables the toy to be slightly flexible, which is ideal for more comfortable positioning with larger toys. Choose a firmer option if you want something more intense. Or, if you want this toy to be a little gentler, select the softest silicone.

A woman's hand holding an extra large curvy pink dildo

Aside from the level of curve, the Captain’s Hook dildo is realistic in design. It has a pronounced corona (that’s the “rounded border that projects from the base of the glans penis”) and texturing along the shaft to mimic skin and veins. This makes it an ideal toy for those who enjoy a realistic or semi-realistic aesthetic, but prefer the sensation of a curve.

Any Downsides To Be Aware Of?

Due to its size, the Captain’s Hook is a heavy dildo even in its smallest size. This means that, although it is technically harness-compatible, I can’t imagine using it for strap-on sex realistically. The large base enables it to stand upright, but also adds additional weight and bulk.

Mr Hankey’s notes on the product page that for the larger sizes in particular, this toy can be more practical for partnered play due to its size and shape. Due to the shape and lack of a suction cup, it’s unlikely to be suitable for hands-free use.

The surface texture of the silicone is also very matte. I’ve pointed this out before and I think it might just be a feature of the silicone or finishes that Mr Hankey’s uses. This can add to the challenging nature of inserting a toy this large. You should always use tonnes of lube when using an extra large dildo anyway. The grabby feel of this silicone just makes this even more essential.

Captain’s Hook Curved Dildo: Verdict

I love this dildo. My initial impressions were entirely correct here; this design is fucking fabulous. I’ve never tried a silicone dildo this curved before. The closest things I have in my collection are stainless steel or glass, which is of course a completely different sensation.

The Captain’s Hook is a dildo designed with serious targeted internal stimulation in mind, whether you use it vaginally or anally. Its intense curve and girthy shaft up the intensity.

The Captain’s Hook curved dildo retails starting from $125.95 for the smallest size in one of the middle two firmness levels and your choice of colour. Sizing up, choosing extra firm or extra soft, and adding a metallic effect or vac-u-lock hole will all increase the total price.

Thanks to Mr Hankey’s Toys for sponsoring this review. All views and writing are, as always, mine.

[Toy Review] Nothosaur Meo’s Ridge Extra-Long Dildo

We seem to be in something of a golden age of fantasy sex toys right now. More and more designers and manufacturers are popping up, and existing retailers are also realising the potential of these types of toys and beginning to stock them. From dragon dildos to Zodiac sex toys to tentacles and much more, if you can think of it then someone has probably made a version of it you can fuck. And for whatever reason, fantasy toys and oversized toys – from ultra-girthy to extra-long dildos – very often seem to go together.

I think Nothosaur are one of the absolute best in the fantasy toys space right now. They offer consistently superb product quality, great customer service, various customization options, and value for money.

This week, Nothosaur are back as a site sponsor once again. They’ve asked me to review their Meo’s Ridge extra-long dragon dildo.

Meo’s Ridge: An Extra-Long Dragon Dildo

The Meo’s Ridge by Nothosaur is a design inspired by a dragon-like creature. Its suction cup base, adorned with spikes, gives way to a long and rippling shaft with rich and beautiful scale-like texturing. It really does make you think of the spines and scales on a mythical creature.

Meo's Ridge extra-long dildo from Nothosaur dragon range

The Meo’s Ridge dragon dildo is available in four sizes from XS to L, and three firmness levels: soft, medium, or hard. You can also add a vac-u-lock base, if you want. Lengths range from 9.4″ up to 17.5″ in total length, and 8.4″ up to 16.3″ in insertable length. Here’s Nothosaur’s useful size chart so you can compare the sizes and figure out which is best for you:

Size chart for Nothosaur Meo's Ridge extra-long dildo

I requested the Small size (the second smallest overall, measuring 12.2″ in overall length and 10.8″ in insertable length) in medium firmness.

All Nothosaur products are made from body-safe silicone.

As with most Nothosaur toys, you can also customize your dildo with your choice of colours. There are set suggested colourways available, or you can pick from a single solid colour, a two-colour fade, a covered colour (different colours for the inside and outside), or a marble effect with two or three colours.

I chose the pastel pink A-07 and pastel turquoise C-06 shades. The way they’ve blended together in the final fade, with a lilac colour in the middle, reminds me of a pastel version of the bisexual pride flag! This wasn’t intentional on my part, but I’m into it.

By the way: if you want the full set, you can also get the Meo’s Scales grinder (which I have and absolutely love) and the Meo’s Claw!

The Meo’s Ridge Extra-Long Dildo: Impressions & In Use

Meo's Ridge extra long dragon dildo

The first thing that struck me about the Meo’s Ridge dragon dildo when it arrived (apart from its size – more on that in a minute) is how pretty it is. The scales and ridges are a work of art. The level of detailing that has gone into it is truly impressive. I love the colourway I chose – I think it’s giving “queer pastel femme but make it a little bit edgy.”

The silicone looks and feels to be high quality. It is very matte, so it can feel quite “grabby” against the skin and this is amplified by the texturing. Just make sure to add plenty of lube to this toy. I recommend the boil-sterilising method of cleaning. All those little ridges and crevices can harbour germs and bacteria if you don’t clean the toy thoroughly.

The tapered design of the Meo’s Ridge is excellent. If you’re new to experimenting with extra-long dildos, trying out “depth training”, or just prefer a slower warm-up, a tapered toy is a great way to enjoy gradual insertion without things feeling too intense too quickly.

Meo's Ridge dildo tip close up

I also like that the Meo’s Ridge isn’t too girthy. The diameter at the widest insertable point ranges from 1.5″ (XS) up to 2.7″ (L), though this point is right near the base of the toy so many users may never insert it that far. The first bulge, towards the top of the shaft, ranges from 1.1″ up to 2.2″ in diameter. Not everyone enjoys both length and girth; some people prefer longer but slimmer toys, and this is an ideal design for those people.

By the way: the length, softness, and texturing of this toy also make it amazing for grinding on, if that’s something you’re into. There’s never just one way to use a toy and there’s certainly no right or wrong way. This was one additional use I found for the Meo’s Ridge dildo.

Let’s Talk About This Toy’s Size and Softness

The size of this toy is quite something. Despite being only the second of four sizes, the Meo’s Ridge in Small is literally the length of my forearm! I can’t imagine any universe in which I could insert it all or would even want to try. But that’s fine; bodies are different and preferences are different.

You don’t need to insert the entire length of an extra-long dildo like this to enjoy it. If you only ever use the first two or three inches, or even less than that, as long as you’re having fun nothing else matters. Sex toys aren’t supposed to be a challenge unless the challenge turns you on!

Nothosaur Meo's Ridge extra-long dildo bent in half

I was a little surprised by just how floppy and flexible the Meo’s Ridge dildo is. When I stand it up on the suction cup, it completely flops over. The advantage of this is that the softness and flexibility makes it super comfortable to insert. You can bend it virtually any way you like and the silicone has tonnes of give to it. You can also flex the toy once it’s inside you to target your G-spot or any other internal spot you’re looking to stimulate.

The downside is that it can make initial insertion a little tricky. I found that if I don’t get the angle exactly right, the tip of the toy bends away from my body when I apply pressure to insert it.

It has a suction cup, which theoretically makes it hands-free and harness-compatible. In reality, though, the Meo’s Ridge isn’t likely to be a suitable toy for either of those activities due to its length and floppiness. It is anal-safe if that’s your thing. However, even the medium firmness is soft enough that I imagine anal penetration would be tricky for most users.

Verdict

If you’re looking for a soft extra-long dildo that isn’t also extremely girthy, the Meo’s Ridge is a great choice. Its dragon dildo aesthetic is unique and detailed, and sure to appeal to fantasy toy lovers. I love the textured surface, the tapered design, and the slimline shaft in particular.

One quick pro tip: if you get this toy, I’d really recommend choosing the “hard” firmness level unless you’re intentionally looking for something very soft and floppy.

The Meo’s Ridge retails from $59.99 for the smallest size in a standard colourway. Larger sizes, custom colours, and additional customisations all impact the final price you’ll pay.

Thanks to Nothosaur for sending me this product and sponsoring this review! All views are, as always, mine.

Deinfluencing You: 6 Sexual Wellness and Pleasure Products You Do Not Need

I’ve only ever been called an “influencer” once and to be honest, friends, it made my teeth itch. I never set out to be an influencer, and ultimately the only thing I want to “influence” anyone to do is to have healthier, happier sex lives and more fulfilling relationships. That may or may not include buying quality sexual wellness or pleasure products. And today I’m going to be deinfluencing you from buying a bunch of shit you don’t need.

Settle in, get comfy, and grab a beverage, because this one got long.

I’m tremendously grateful, of course, to all the brands and business owners that have trusted me to test, review, and promote their products and to everyone who has ever used my affiliate links to make a purchase. Those deals and the money I make from them help me to keep the site going and pay my bills But my first duty is and will always be to my readers.

I promised right at the beginning of Coffee & Kink that I would never lie, deliberately omit pertinent information, or promote things I hadn’t tried or didn’t believe in. I’m proud to have stuck to that philosophy for more than 8 years.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this “deinfluencing you” trend that I’m seeing all over the various social media platforms, particularly Instagram and TikTok. In a nutshell, deinfluencing is all about the things you don’t need to buy. It’s about encouraging people to be more mindful about the products they buy, avoiding both overhyped nonsense that doesn’t work and micro-trends that will be used a handful of times and end up in landfill by this time next year.

Done right, deinfluencing can help to reduce overconsumption, reduce waste, and save money.

What I haven’t seen yet, though, is any deinfluencing content specifically related to sexual wellness products. So I thought I’d create some.

Deinfluencing You: 6 Sexual Wellness and Pleasure Products You Do Not Need

First, a quick disclaimer: this is ultimately my opinion. If you’ve bought any of these products and found that they changed your sex life for the better, you do you! I’m happy for you. The point of this isn’t to say these products are inherently bad (though some of them are). The point is to get you to look past the marketing hype and consider whether they’ll actually be beneficial to you.

So what pleasure and sexual wellness products do you not need? Here are six I’d like to deinfluence you from buying.

Sex Toy Cleaner

Dedicated “toy cleaner” for sex toys is a scam, and an expensive one at that. Simply put, it probably won’t hurt you but you definitely don’t need it. There’s nothing special, magical, or unique about sex toy cleaner. It’s literally a body-safe (sometimes) antibacterial spray or liquid, that’s it. If you’re using non-porous, body-safe toys, you don’t need it. If you’re using porous or toxic toys, it won’t help you.

You can safely skip the toy cleaner and save money by learning how to clean your toys quickly and easily without it. I wrote this guide for Godemiche a few years ago, but here’s the TL/DR version:

  • Boil silicone, glass, or stainless steel non-motorized toys in a pot of water on the stove for 10 minutes.
  • Clean ABS plastic toys and water-resistant motorized toys with some warm water and a gentle antibacterial soap.
  • For everything else, or for a quick clean-up between uses, a body-safe sterile wipe (the kind you can buy in bulk designed for cleaning medical instruments) is a great option.

Anything to Change How Your Genitals Taste, Smell, or Look

Though no-one is immune, these types of products and services are disproportionately marketed at people with vulvas. There is an enormous and hugely profitable industry out there designed to make you feel bad about the appearance, smell, or taste of your genitals. This category covers everything from sprays, creams, douches, and intimate washes through to supplements and even extreme solutions such as cosmetic surgeries.

But here’s the thing: pussy is supposed to smell and taste like pussy. Not flowers or honey or fucking cookies. And healthy, normal genitals come in numerous shapes, sizes, colours, textures, levels of symmetry, amounts and types of hair, and more. I want to deinfluence you not just from buying bogus products, but from thinking there is a single thing wrong with your beautiful, perfect genitals exactly as they are.

At best, anything designed to change the smell or taste of your genitals is unlikely to work for longer than a few minutes. At worst, these products can be actively dangerous. Many of them contain harmful ingredients which can disrupt the delicate balance of bacteria, throw off your pH levels, and lead to discomfort or even infection.

The amazing thing about the vagina is that it’s self-cleaning. You don’t need to – and shouldn’t – put any products inside it at all. The external vulva needs nothing more than a daily wash with some warm water to keep it clean. Some experts say to use a gentle and unperfumed soap, others say to avoid soaps entirely.

Short of surgery, you also can’t change how your genitals look. And you don’t need to! Your bits don’t need to be bigger, smaller, tighter, plumper, skinnier, neater, or any other bullshit you’ve been fed. They’re perfect exactly as they are. Anyone who shames or criticises you for the normal look, feel, taste, or smell of your genitals doesn’t deserve to be anywhere near your glorious body.

Scented or Flavoured Lube (Especially Seasonal Flavoured Lube)

I’m a big fan of lube. I probably have about ten or fifteen bottles of the stuff scattered around my bedroom, in my party kit, in my various travel bags for visiting my long-distance girlfriend, and in my “to be reviewed” pile. I believe lube can help to make mediocre sex good, and good sex great.

Flavoured lube, though?

No. That stuff can fuck off.

Flavoured lube is often packed with ingredients such as glycerin and other sweeteners, flavourings and fragrances. All of these can be really bad for vulvovaginal health. It also tends to have an unpleasant sticky texture.

And again: genitals are meant to smell and taste like genitals. Not strawberry. Not bubblegum. And certainly not any “seasonal” flavours, like that caramel latte stuff I reviewed once and then forgot about and ultimately threw away two years later because, even though it was less gross than many such products, I still don’t actually want my/my partners’ bits to taste of coffee and sugar.

While I’m deinfluencing you from buying flavoured lubes, I think we also need an honourable mention for flavoured condoms. I can sort of see the appeal of them if you’re someone who uses barriers for oral sex. Latex tastes nasty, after all. But in my considered opinion, those horrible artificial flavours taste worse. Pro tip: choose non-latex condoms made from materials like polyurethane (PU) condoms, and go for the non-lubricated variety, to minimise the taste and smell.

Libido or Arousal Supplements

Libido-boosting supplements and arousal supplements are big business. Manufacturers of these products make lofty claims, but do they work? Probably not, says Harvard Medical School. Some of these products may contain ingredients for which there is some evidence base, but at best they’re a helping hand, not a magic solution. Often, they’re pure pseudoscience.

Sometimes, libido supplements they can even be dangerous. They can cause unforseen side effects, allergic reactions, or interactions with other prescription or over-the-counter medication. If you’re going to try one, always consult a healthcare professional first. My ultimate recommendation, though, is to avoid these products unless you’re specifically directed to take one by your doctor.

Why? They’re a neat and easy “solution” to a complex issue which may or may not even be a problem at all.

Sexual desire (it’s not a drive!) is complex. Many people do not experience spontaneous desire (that “out of the blue” horniness or desire for sex, without any kind of sexually relevant stimulus) at all. Others experience it rarely, or find that its frequency declines with age. And some experience it all the time! All of these experiences are normal and healthy.

If your sexual desire is low, whether it’s always been low or has dipped recently, you don’t need scammy pills and potions. Instead, you need to take the time to understand what’s going on for you. Factors such as ageing, hormonal changes, pain, disability, stress, mental health problems, pregnancy and parenting, caring responsibilities, relationship challenges, and bereavement are just a few of the things that can impact sexual desire and sexual response. You might also be on the asexual spectrum or just a person with naturally low sexual desire. If your level of desire or lack thereof is not causing a problem for you, then… it’s not a problem!

Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are and its accompanying workbook is an unbeatable resource for anyone who is struggling with sexual desire. It’s primarily about the experiences of cis women and other people with vulvas, but Nagoski’s insights and the science underpinning them can be transformative for anyone. It’ll cost you a lot less than a packet of “libido-boosting supplements” and it’ll likely help you a hell of a lot more. (I might be deinfluencing you from buying crappy sexual wellness products, but I’m very happy to influence you into reading and internalising the brilliance of Dr. Nagoski!)

Note: what I’m not talking about in this section is pleasure balm, clitoral stimulation cream and so on. You apply these topically and they contain ingredients that stimulate blood flow or provide a pleasurable tingling sensation. I’m a big fan of these products and to the best of my knowledge, believe them to be safe.

Numbing Lubes, Sprays, and Creams

Numbling lubes, as well as other products such as sprays and creams, contain desensitising ingredients such as lidocaine or benzocaine. They’re particularly popular for anal sex. Some people also use them to delay ejaculation.

This is another product that isn’t just bad and a waste of money, it’s dangerous.

Never, ever, ever use a numbling agent for any kind of penetrative sex, whether anal or vaginal. Sex should not hurt. Yes, including anal sex – this is one of the biggest and most harmful anal sex myths there is. Yes, including the first time you have penetrative sex. If sex is painful, something is wrong. You might not be sufficiently aroused or lubricated. You might be tense or worried. Or there might be an underlying medical cause.

Regardless of the reason, numbing the area so you don’t feel the pain isn’t the answer. Pain is your body’s way of telling you something is wrong. Without its vital signals, you literally won’t be able to tell if damage is happening to your delicate tissue. Sex should never be something you have to push through or numb your body to get through.

Though it’s not as dangerous, I’d also like to deinfluence you from using numbing agents to delay ejaculation. Firstly, they reduce pleasure, which is likely one of the main reasons you’re having sex in the first place. Some people experience unwanted side effects such as redness, irritation, or even an allergic reaction. They can also transfer to your partner during penetrative sex, numbing or causing irritation to their vagina or anus.

If you’re tempted to reach for the numbing lube or spray, whether to deal with painful sex or to manage ejaculation that’s faster than you would like, seek support from a qualified medical professional such as a doctor or psychosexual therapist instead.

Yoni Eggs, Quartz Wands, and Other Crystal Sex Toys

Remember those “jade eggs” that Gwynneth Paltrow’s company, Goop, was selling a few years back? The company ended up paying $145,000 in fines for “unsubstantiated” marketing claims. Goop claimed that its jade eggs and quartz eggs could correct all kinds of medical issues, from hormonal imbalances to irregular mentrual cycles. Spoiler: they couldn’t.

Yoni eggs are egg-shaped pleasure products, designed to be inserted into the vagina. They’re usually made from gems such as jade or rose quartz. Other, similar products include quartz wands, which are basically dildos made from rose quartz. Proponents claim that these products have an array of impressive benefits, from altering hormones to healing sexual trauma. Spoiler: they don’t.

Some claims about crystal sex toys are readily disprovable with, you know, science. Others are so vague and wishy-washy as to be functionally meaningless. “As for ‘female energy’… I’m a gynaecologist and I don’t know what that is,” quips the amazing Dr. Jen Gunter.

Say it with me: crystals look pretty but they have absolutely no other powers or properties. Sorry pals, but I’m here to tell you that these things are absolute, solid gold, grade A bullshit. It’s pure woo nonsense made up to sell you things. And if you put crystals inside your body, they can also be dangerous.

Firstly, crystals are often porous. This means they will harbour bacteria and never get truly clean, leading to issues such as infections. This is a particular risk for products such as yoni eggs, which are designed to be worn inside the vagina for hours at a time. Some gynecologists have even identified them as a risk for toxic shock syndrome, which can be fatal.

Stones and crystals vary widely in both their porosity and their overall quality. Because the sex toy industry is largely unregulated, it can be hard to be sure that what you’re getting is what the manufacturer claims it is. That’s why writers, educators, and advocates like me are constantly banging on about how you should only buy from reputable retailers. This risk goes up massively when you’re dealing with things like crystals.

Crystal mining can also be harmful to the environment and to the people who actually dig these stones out of the ground. According to solicitor Rebecca Swan, writing for UK law firm Leigh Day, crystal mining can come with a steep human cost: injury, death, child labour, and economic exploitation. According to Tess McClure, writing for The Guardian, crystal mining is contributing directly to rainforest destruction and threatening the survival of endangered species. Some activists have even called crystals “the new blood diamonds.”

Not so “healing”, huh? If these facts don’t deinfluence you from being tempted by crystal pleasure products, I don’t know what will.

Leave the crystals alone. Your body and the planet will thank you.

I hope this has given you pause for thought if you were considering buying any of these products, which vary from “unnecessary and expensive” to “actively dangerous.” If I think of other sexual wellness and pleasure products you definitely don’t need, I might follow this up with a part 2.

Looking for pleasure products that are good for your body from companies you can trust? Check out my favourite retailers in the right hand sidebar or read my sex toy reviews for an unbiased and informed perspective.

[Toy Review] Blush Novelties Avant Lucky Glitter Dildo

I’m back again with another Blush Novelties Avant range review following my recent post all about the Avant Pride P3 lesbian flag dildo. Today we’re looking at the Avant Lucky, a gorgeous glitter dildo in a pink/purple/blue ombre, which was sent to be by The Pleasure Garden inclusive sex shop.

What is the Blush Novelties Avant Lucky?

Blush Novelties Avant Lucky glitter dildo

The Avant Lucky is part of Blush Novelties’ range of affordable and cute as fuck silicone dildos. It measures 8″ in total length, 6.5″ in insertable length, and 1.5″ in diameter. It has a straight shaft design in a semi-realistic style, a slightly pronounced head, and a suction cup base.

The shimmering glitter colourway is reminiscent of a pastel version of the bi pride flag, though I think that’s coincidental rather than intentional.

Are Glitter Dildos Body-Safe?

I knew what I thought my stance on this subject was before writing this review, but I did some additional research to be sure. So are glitter dildos actually body-safe?

The short and (I’m sorry) unsatisfying answers are… “maybe” and “sometimes.”

Glitter dildo in pink blue and purple from Blush Novelties' Avant range

Some glitters (and related materials like mica) are body-safe, others are not. Think about the ones used in reputable sparkly cosmetics, for example, vs. the stuff you buy in craft stores. The problem with glitter sex toys is that, unless the company chooses to disclose it, there’s almost no way to tell what type of glitter they’re using.

Back in 2021, the fabulous sex blogger Felicity at Phallophile Reviews noted some issues with the Avant Lucky; specifically, she was concerned about glitter flakes delaminating (making their way out of the toy) and the possible safety implications of this. Shortly after, Blush responded to apologise for the problem and to let her know that the glitter they use is non-toxic and body-safe. Felicity also discovered that the Avant Lucky is made by mixing the glitter into the silicone, which is a far safer option than the alternative of adding it as a coating at the setting/curing stage.

I know that, with my Avant Lucky, I haven’t had any issues with glitter flakes coming out of the toy so it’s entirely possible Blush were true to their word and fixed the issue. So is this toy truly body-safe? I’m going to say probably though I don’t feel confident enough to say definitely.

I think the risk here is small, if there is any. Personally, I feel comfortable using this toy. But you’re ultimately the only one who can decide your own risk tolerance. If you’re not sure but you still love the toy, you can always pop a condom over it.

What I Like About the Blush Novelties Avant Lucky Glitter Dildo

I have to hand it to Blush: they are knocking it out of the park with their range of body-safe dildos in beautiful colourways at affordable prices. This toy’s silicone feels high quality and soft enough to rival (or beat) many of the far more expensive products I’ve tried. It has a satisfyingly velvety texture that’s a joy to touch, hold, and use.

Avant Lucky glitter silicone suction cup dildo in bi pride colours

The Avant Lucky is made of fairly firm and dense silicone, with minimal “squish.” Its rounded shaft is the same width all the way down, making it ideal for lovers of medium girth toys. The shaft has a little flexibility. It also has some light texturing on the shaft, a little like the veins of a bio-cock, making it a good in-between option for those who enjoy some texture but find heavily textured toys too intense.

The slight protrusion of the head is great for G-spot or prostate stimulation, and the suction cup base makes it anal safe, harness compatible, and easy to use hands-free if that’s your thing.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

My personal preference is for curved dildos rather than straight-up-and-down ones. For that reason, the Blush Avant Lucky isn’t quite a perfect pick for my body. This is, of course, different for every individual so it’s important to be aware of your body’s needs and preferences. I also find straight toys somewhat less ideal for strap-on sex than curved ones due to issues with positioning.

Verdict

Blush Novelties Avant Lucky glitterly dildo

As long as you’re comfortable with using glitter toys, the Blush Novelties Avant Lucky is a solid basic dildo in a medium size at an affordable price. It probably isn’t one I’ll use much on myself, but I’ll keep it on hand to use with lovers who prefer straight toys to curved ones.

The Avant Lucky retails for £36.50.

Thank you to The Pleasure Garden for sending me this product to review. All views, as always, are mine. This post contains affiliate links – clicking through and shopping with them sends me a small commission at no extra cost to you.

[Toy Review] Blush Novelties Neo Elite Hanky Panky Glow in the Dark Confetti Dildo

On my last call with the lovely Francesca, who owns The Pleasure Garden inclusive sex shop, we discussed which strap-on compatible dildos I might want to review in some companion pieces to my Spareparts Joque review. I asked for the gayest, girliest, sparkliest items the store had in stock. And friends, as the kids say, she understood the assignment.

Along with the lesbian pride dildo I reviewed last week and a gorgeous sparkly one I’ll be talking about next week, I received another Blush dildo: this spectacular confetti-filled glow in the dark creation, the Neo Elite Hanky Panky.

What is the Neo Elite Hanky Panky?

Glow in the dark Blush dildo with confetti design

The Neo Elite Hanky Panky is a glow in the dark dildo by Blush Novelties. It measures 8″ in total length, around 6.5″ in insertable length, and 1.5″ in diameter at the widest point.

The Neo Elite is made of clear/translucent silicone filled with little confetti-style flecks in pink, purple, blue and green inside. Yes, it’s possible to get body-safe clear sex toys! You don’t need to resort to toxic jelly materials to enjoy this unique aesthetic.

The Best Things About This Blush Dildo

Multicoloured clear silicone Blush dildo pictured with close-up of suction cup

One of my hottest takes as a queer femme is that enjoying pretty things just because they’re pretty is not frivolous, but tremendously important. Beauty is not frivolous. Enjoying things, as a queer person in a world that wants to tear us down and drown us out, fucking matters. Pleasure is political.

And that’s just as true whether we’re talking about eating delicious food in defiance of diet culture or fucking my hot girlfriend with the gayest cock I can find in defiance of societal homophobia.

All this to say: I like this toy because it’s cute, colourful, and playful as fuck.

Blush clear silicone glow in the dark dildo

There are other great things to say about it too, of course. The shape is fabulous, with a medium curve and a prominent head. The silicone is pretty firm and dense, with minimal “squish”, but the shaft is flexible enough to enable comfortable positioning.

I particularly like the pronounced ridge on the underside of the head, which is ideal for both G-spot and prostate stimulation as well as stimulating the sensitive nerve endings around the vaginal/anal opening on insertion and removal. Otherwise, the shaft is smooth, making it a great choice for people who don’t enjoy the sensation of textured toys. It’s also the same width all the way down.

The large suction cup is strong, and also makes the toy anal-safe and harness compatible.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Silicone clear dildo with confetti detailing from Blush Novelties

The only thing to be aware of is that this toy’s silicone is very matte. This means it can feel “grabby” and doesn’t glide as smoothly as some softer silicones do, which some users can find uncomfortable. You can overcome this by adding tonnes of water-based lube; just be aware you’ll probably need more lubrication than usual.

Neo Elite Hanky Panky Blush Dildo: Verdict

If you love beautiful, playful aesthetics and don’t mind a more matte texture, this is a fantastic toy. It has a great shape and design, is versatile enough for different kinds of play from solo masturbation to strap on sex to anal, and is a relatively rare example of a clear/translucent toy made from a body-safe material.

The Neo Elite Hanky Panky retails for a very reasonable £38.

Thanks to The Pleasure Garden for sending me this Blush dildo to review. All views, as always, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping with them sends me a small commission at no additional cost to you.

[Toy Review] Avant Pride P3 Beauty Small Suction Cup Dildo

Way back in 2018, in the early days of this blog (wow that was a different time!) I reviewed my first Avant Pride toy, the P1 rainbow dildo. I followed this up with reviews of the P4 leather pride butt plug later that year and the P8 bi pride dildo in 2021.

I still really like the P8, but I’m not so sure I identify as bisexual any more. Since entering my 30s I’ve slid further and further down the Kinsey Scale to… well, not quite a Kinsey 6, because that wouldn’t account for Mr C&K. Maybe a Kinsey 5-and-a-half? Anyway, the terms I most often use to define my sexuality now are sapphic and homoflexible, the latter meaning (to me) “basically a lesbian but with very very occasional exceptions.”

Sexuality is complicated, y’all.

You know what isn’t complicated, though? How damn good this dildo is.

Smooth Segue, Amy! So Tell Us About the Avant Pride P3 Beauty

Avant Pride lesbian pride dildo

The P3 Beauty is another of the Avant Pride range of sex toys from Blush Novelties. It is a small suction cup dildo measuring 5″ in length and 1.1″ in diameter. Its design is fairly realistic, with a pronounced head and subtle vein texturing along the shaft. The colours are based on the pink, white and orange stripes of the lesbian pride flag.

The Avant Pride P3 is made of body-safe and easy-clean silicone. It also has a suction cup, making it ideal for hands-free use and strap-on sex.

What I Liked About the Avant Pride P3 Beauty Small Suction Cup Dildo

My favourite thing about this toy, apart from the gorgeous and vibrant pride-inspired colours, is its small size. Large and oversized toys can be fun on occasion, but often when I’m craving penetration what I actually want is something a little smaller. I also like that the girth is more or less the same all the way down.

I very rarely do anal play at the moment but if you’re interested in a dildo for pegging or anal sex, a slimline toy like this one is an ideal place to start.

Avant Pride realistic  small suction cup dildo in lesbian pride flag colours

The Avant Pride P3 has some of the softest silicone I’ve felt in a long time. Its texture is so delightfully velvety that I’ve been absentmindedly stroking my hand over it in between typing up this review. It has a medium density with a little squish, plenty of flex, and a very slight curve. In other words, it’s comfortable to use and easy to position in the way that works for your body.

I like that the suction cup is quite wide, relative to the diameter of the toy. This makes it stick down really firmly to any flat surface, and also makes it easy to use with my favourite strap-on harness without it slipping out or coming loose.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

No? This is a genuinely excellent toy and I can’t find a single fault with it. If you prefer larger insertables it might not be big enough to satisfy you, but for many of us a bigger dildo is not necessarily a better dildo.

Verdict

Avant Pride small lesbian flag dildo with suction cup showing

This is such an easy to use dildo! A simple yet effective design, refreshingly petite size, gorgeous queer colourway, and high quality material. It’s also versatile, anal-safe, and harness compatible. What more could you need in a basic dildo? And on top of all that, it retails for just £32.

Thanks to The Pleasure Garden for sending me the Avant Pride P3 to review. All views, as always, are mine! Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Toy Review] Tracy’s Dog Ciro Dual Stimulation Vibrator

Tracy’s Dog are becoming a regular feature on this site as they’re currently putting out new products at an impressive rate, such as the recently launched Ciro – a dual stimulation vibrator with thrusting, licking, and vibrating motions – which I received to review this month.

Let’s take a look and find out how I got on with this latest offering.

Oh, and don’t forget to use my exclusive code coffee15 to get 15% off your purchase of the Ciro or any other Tracy’s Dog product.

What is the Ciro Dual Stimulation Vibrator?

The Ciro by Tracy’s Dog is a vaguely C-shaped dual stimulation clitoral and G-spot toy. The insertable portion both thrusts and vibrates, while the clitoral stimulator is a firm ball that rotates and vibrates. This toy’s insertable length is around 6″, and its diameter is around 1.4″ at the widest point.

Tracy's Dog Ciro dual stimulation vibrator

It is made of silicone in the signature purple shade that Tracy’s Dog use for many of their toys, and has a gold coloured plastic accent panel for the two buttons.

In the sturdy, magnetic-close box, you’ll also find the charging cable, a drawstring storage bag, two sachets of Tracy’s Dog lube (which I won’t be using because it contains glycerin and disodium EDTA, but YMMV), the instruction manual, a warranty card, and some stickers.

The Ciro is IPX6 waterproof, making it suitable for use in the shower. However, it’s not submersible, so don’t take it in the bath or dunk it in a sink of water to clean it! It is also rechargeable via the included magnetic cable. I’ll talk more about the charging and battery life a bit later on.

What I Liked About the Ciro

I was immediately intrigued by this unusual design and combination of features. Yet another boring iteration of a generic rabbit vibrator this is not! It’s nice to see something a bit different in the form of the round, rotating clitoral stimulator.

Tracy's Dog Ciro dual stimulation vibrator

But how did it actually perform?

Let’s look at the things I liked about the Ciro.

  • Many dual stimulation vibrator designs treat clitoral stimulation as an afterthought (I’ve ranted about this before.) The Ciro does not. The rotating clitoral stimulator is just… really, really good, to be honest. It’s completely different to the traditional “bunny ears” design and I love it. It does not feel like “licking”, but it feels like having my clit massaged in circles with just the right amount of pressure. Yes. (Pro tip: lube makes this feel about 10,000 times better.)
  • The wavy ridges on the sides of the shaft will appeal to fans of texture. I like that I can feel them in use, but they’re not too intense.
  • The flexible hinge between the insertable shaft and the clitoral stimulator make it easy to position the toy in a way that works for your body. It also means it’s relatively easy to keep the clitoral stimulator in the right place during use (a major drawback of many rabbit toys is that it’s almost impossible to position both portions of the toy in the right way at the same time.)
  • The rigid shaft provides firm internal pressure, while the slight squishiness of the head is comfortable against my G-spot.
Tracy's Dog Ciro dual stimulation vibrator

  • I like the relatively short thrust. Toys with long thrusts are often painful for me, risking poking me in the cervix (ouch. Ow. No.) Its motion feels more like a “come hither” than hard pounding, which is vastly preferable in my book.
  • Even the lowest thrusting speed is pretty intense! This isn’t one for those who prefer very slow strokes, but ideal for anyone looking for fast thrusting.
  • The three thrusting speeds and 7 patterns, plus 3 clitoral stimulation speeds, offer plenty of variety.
  • You can control the internal and external stimulators completely separately, with a simple one-button control for each function.
  • It retails for a relatively affordable £48.36

Overall, this toy is pretty intense. Even on the lower thrusting speed, with both parts switched on it comes close to feeling overstimulating for me. Which can be fun on occasion! I don’t think I’ll reach for it regularly, but there’s definitely a time and a place for this kind of toy.

What I Didn’t Like

Though it has many good features, there are also a few things about the Ciro that I found frustrating.

Tracy's Dog Ciro clitoral stimulator close up

  • The vibrations are super buzzy. Like… so buzzy. They’re the kind of buzzy that is likely to numb out my clit long before ever getting me off.
  • Related: I wish it was possible to switch the vibrations off. I think I’d really love this toy if I could use the thrusting and rotating functions without the addition of annoying, buzzy vibes.
  • The battery life isn’t great. A full charge takes 150 minutes (2.5 hours) and only gives you 50-60 minutes of runtime.
  • There are, as usual, no dual directional controls. This isn’t so much of an issue for me, as I tend to just choose the settings I like and stick with them. But it’s something to be aware of if you prefer to swap and change between different speeds and settings.
  • Like virtually every thrusting sex toy I have ever tried, it makes an annoying kind of high-pitched squeaking noise. It’s not particularly loud, but this sound is really grating to me (probably one reason I don’t actually use thrusting toys very often!) It’s also not “whisper quiet”. Companies, stop with this cliché. It’s literally never true.

Ciro Dual Stimulation Vibrator: Verdict

Overall, I like this toy! It’s an innovative design not quite like anything I’ve seen before, and the rotating clitoral stimulator is truly excellent. I also particularly appreciated the shallow thrust depth and separate controls for each of the two parts. Though it does have some flaws, I’ll likely use this one again.

Get the Ciro directly from Tracy’s Dog or from the company’s Amazon store. Remember to use my discount code for 15% off!

Thanks to Tracy’s Dog for sponsoring this review. All views and experiences are, as always, my own.

[Toy Review] Tracy’s Dog Craybit Pro Rabbit Vibrator

I confess that I have been puzzling over the name of this toy almost as much as I puzzled over the name of this company the first time I worked with them. (In case you were wondering, Tracy’s Dog is so called because it hopes its toys will become a loyal and faithful companion, like… well. Like a dog. Why this Tracy’s Dog rabbit toy is called the Craybit Pro, though, remains a mystery.)

Baffling name aside, let’s take a look at the Tracy’s Dog Craybit Pro.

What is the Tracy’s Dog Craybit Pro?

The Craybit Pro is a rabbit style vibrator with an insertable shaft and two flexible ears to stimulate the clitoris. It measures around 8.5″ in total length, and 4.5″ in insertable length. The diameter is 1.59″ at the widest point.

Craybit Pro Tracy's Dog rabbit vibrator

The Craybit Pro is made from purple body-safe silicone with an ABS plastic handle and buttons. It is IPX6 waterproof, meaning it can withstand powerful jets of water but is not submersible. In other words, it’s probably fine for use in the shower and for washing under the tap, but don’t take it in the bath or dunk it in a sink full of water to clean it.

The Craybit Pro has three motors and something called “Chord and Riff Technology”, which combines high-frequency “buzzy” vibrations with low-frequency “rumbly” vibrations. The motors are located in the head, in the lower portion of the insertable shaft, and in the clitoral stimulator respectively.

What I Liked About the Craybit Pro

With so many rabbit vibrators on the market, it can be overwhelming trying to choose one. They’re all designed to do basically the same thing: stimulate the vagina/G-spot and clitoris at the same time. However, they’re all slightly different and each model comes with pros and cons.

Craybit Pro Tracy's Dog rabbit vibrator packaging

Let’s start by looking at what the Tracy’s Dog Craybit Pro does well:

  • It came nicely packaged in a stylish cardboard box with a storage bag included.
  • I like the flexibility of both the insertable arm and the clitoral stimulator. This makes it easier to position the toy for a comfortable fit for your body.
  • The long, soft and flexible rabbit ears are great for keeping the stimulator in constant contact with my clit during use.
  • You can control the two motors in the shaft with one button, and the clitoral stimulator with another, allowing you to use the internal and external vibrations either separately or together.
  • The buttons are easy to press and the controls are simple and easy to learn.
  • The light-up buttons make them easy to see in low light.
  • The curved shaft is excellent for targeted G-spot stimulation.
  • Perhaps most importantly, at least some of the vibrations are actually good! All of the motors are reasonably strong, and the vibrations in the shaft are satisfyingly rumbly.
  • Your toy comes with a two-year warranty and a five-year quality guarantee.

Noise-wise, the Craybit Pro is fine. It’s not impressively silent but it’s also not annoyingly loud.

You can also use the Craybit Pro with the free Monster Party app (yet another baffling name, honestly.) I had more luck with this toy than I did with the Surreal, Tracy’s Dog’s other app-controlled toy, but I’m just not sure the app really adds very much for me. It gives you a little customisability of the three motors and another way to control your toy if you prefer to use your phone rather than manual controls, but I find it more hassle than it’s really worth. This toy works perfectly fine without the app, so it’s definitely an optional add-on rather than an essential.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Craybit Pro Tracy's Dog rabbit vibrator

I do also have a few complaints about the Craybit Pro. Namely:

  • A charge of two hours only gives you around an hour of runtime, which isn’t great.
  • The clitoral stimulator has a very buzzy motor compared to the internal motors. Though you do get some of the rumbles passing through to the clit stimulator when the shaft is switched on, it would be nice if the separate motor was much more rumbly. Say it with me: clit stimulation is the main event, not an afterthought!
  • The two motors in the shaft are controlled by the same button. This means you cannot control them independently.
  • When using the toy manually, there are only single-directional controls. This means you have to scroll through all the settings to go back a step.
  • The seam between the silicone portion and the plastic portion is quite hard to clean and can harbour fluids and bacteria if you’re not careful.
  • It’s surprisingly heavy!

I think the shaft is slightly too wide to be completely ideal for me. I tend to prefer slimmer insertable toys, particularly when pairing them with clitoral stimulation. This isn’t really a gripe with the toy itself, of course, just an acknowledgement of why it’s not totally perfect for my body.

Craybit Pro Tracy’s Dog Rabbit Vibrator: Verdict

Craybit Pro Tracy's Dog rabbit vibrator

Overall, I think the Tracy’s Dog Craybit is a decent-ish though not amazing rabbit vibrator. I’d recommend it most to people who enjoy strong and rumbly internal vibrations as part of dual stimulation. If buzzy clitoral vibrations are a dealbreaker for you, skip this one. With a better clitoral motor, this toy could be far better than it currently is.

The Craybit Pro retails for £59.04 or $54.99 at the time of writing. And you can use my code coffee15 to get 15% off any Tracy’s Dog purchase!

Thanks to the company for sending me this Tracy’s Dog rabbit vibrator to review and for sponsoring this review. All views and writing, as always, are mine.

[Toy Review] Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo

As recently as a couple of years ago, readers would ask me for recommendations for giant toys that didn’t cost hundreds of dollars and I would be at a loss on where to send them. Historically, the vast majority of the extra large toys on the market were made of unsafe or porous materials such as rubber, PVC, or TPE/TPR. Those that were made of silicone tended to be tremendously expensive. Fortunately, things are changing and you can now get a body-safe, extra large fantasy dildo without breaking the bank.

Wildolo’s range of silicone monster dildos includes an array of the weird, wonderful, bizarre, and ultra-colourful for all your fantasy fucking needs. They kindly sent me this extra large silicone fantasy dildo from their collection to test and review.

About the Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo

This toy is made of body-safe matte silicone (more on the texture below) in a green, blue and purple marbled effect, and features a tapering shaft with a series of bulges that get progressively wider from top to bottom. As it is single-density silicone, the entire shaft has the same density all the way through (i.e. there is no firm “core” and soft outer layer.)

Wildolo silicone fantasy dildo

It comes in two sizes, and I received the medium, which measures 10.49″ in length (8.98″ insertable) and weighs in at a hefty 0.95kg or just over 2lb. Its diameter tapers from a fairly average 1.35″ at the top, down to 2.87″ at the bottom. Yes: this toy is fucking huge. There’s also a larger version, which measures an enormous 14.76″ in total length and over 4″ in diameter at the widest point.

The Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo features raised texturing on the head, vein detailing on the shaft, and a decorative monster/demon face insignia part way down.

The Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo also has a large suction cup for affixing it to a flat surface. This features decorative detailing, too.

What I Liked About This Toy

The Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo is a relatively budget-friendly option in the scheme of body-safe and extra large fantasy toys, retailing for $75 or around £61.50. It also has a number of great features to recommend it.

Namely:
  • The pictures don’t really do justice to how pretty the shimmery, glittery swirls of green, blue and purple are. When it catches the light, the effect is almost irridescent.
  • Speaking of its physical appearance, the fantasy aesthetic – such that it is – is fairly subtle. If you’re looking for a way to ease into fantasy toys without going straight for something that looks like a tentacle or an alien or a killer plant from outer space, this is a great place to start.
  • I like the tapered design. When using larger toys, it’s really important to build up slowly to ensure a safe, pain-free, and pleasurable experience. Tapered toys build this in, allowing you to gradually increase the size to the point that you feel comfortable.
  • The textured tip is excellent for additional G-spot stimulation. Presumably it would also work well for a prostate for much the same reason.
  • This toy is surprisingly flexible for its size. When it comes to very large toys, particularly for those who are newer to them, some flexibility can make all the difference in ensuring comfortable insertion.
Wildolo silicone fantasy dildo

  • The firm, dense silicone will be great for anyone who likes plenty of intensity and not too much squish for their insertable toys.
  • The suction cup is reasonably strong, particularly given the size of the toy. The large surface area of the suction cup helps to hold the toy firmly to a surface for as long as you want it to stay there.
  • The extra large base means it is anal-safe. However, I feel duty-bound to advise you to proceed extremely carefully if you’re thinking of inserting anything of this size anally.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

The finish on the Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo is very matte. This means that it feels pretty grabby, which can be a downside especially for a toy this large. You’ll need to add lube, lube, and yet more lube for this one. (That was true anyway, given the size, but the grabbyness of the silicone makes it even more essential.)

Wildolo silicone fantasy dildo with suction cup attached to black tiled wall

The sheer size of this toy does make it a challenge to hold and manipulate for long periods of time. Its weight is something you’ll want to be aware of if you suffer from hand or wrist pain (or just, like me, have annoyingly tiny hands.)

I’ve said before and I will say it again that I just don’t think I’m really the target market for extra large insertables. I look at them and my body doesn’t go “ooh,” it goes “hahaha nope!” Realistically, I can use the top third of this dildo, maybe the top half if I’m feeling really brave. This isn’t really a criticism of the product, just an acknowledgement that it’s not one I will be reaching for on a regular basis.

Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo: Verdict

Even though I don’t think it’s particularly ideal for my body, the Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo is a well-designed and body-safe toy at a good price for the quality. If you’re into fantasy toys or looking to add something large to your collection without spending a lot, this is a great choice.

Thanks to Wildolo for sponsoring this review! All views are, as always, my own.

[Toy Review] Nothosaur “MOOM” Custom Dildo

You know what’s even more fun than shopping for sex toys? Creating one to your specifications! I recently told you all about Nothosaur’s custom dildo and custom fantasy toy service, which allows you to apply a dizzying variety of customisations to the company’s designs to create a piece that is entirely yours.

As part of our ongoing partnership, Nothosaur kindly let me customise a toy from their range to try and to tell you all about. After a lot of deliberation, I chose the MOOM dildo. Keep reading to learn what I like about this one and which customisations I chose.

What is the MOOM and Why Did I Choose It for My Custom Dildo?

The base product you choose will determine the shape and design of your toy. When Nothosaur offered me a custom dildo to review, I spent a long time looking around the site to decide which of the many options on offer felt right for me. Ultimately, I picked the MOOM. The basic product looks like this:

Nothosaur MOOM base product for custom dildo design
Image: Nothosaur. Colourway: “Streaming VioletBlue”

The shape of the toy really called to me. Its shaft consists of a series of long and elegantly intertwining vines, rising up to a pronounced head, and the broad base has those aforementioned little spikes. The MOOM’s shaft is relatively slimline, which tends to work well for my body – I do like girthy insertables sometimes, but they take a lot of warm-up. This is very much an “insert and go” toy, which can be an advantage sometimes.

The MOOM is based on one of Nothosaur’s many fantasy creature creations, a creature that makes its home in the jungle, collects pine cones and fruits, enjoys poems and stories, but also possesses a series of sharp thorns that help to keep it safe. I enjoy the combination of softness and fierceness in this characterisation, and in the combination of long, sweeping lines and the spiked base that make up the toy’s design.

I also just thought it was super pretty, fun, and unexpected, and I don’t own anything else like it.

My Customisation Choices

I went for the medium size MOOM dildo. I’m not a size queen by any stretch (heh) of the imagination, so at 5.9″ in total length and about 4″ in insertable length – the MOOM in medium is a fairly perfect size dildo for me. If you prefer a very small toy, choose the mini or small sizes. If you want more, opt for the large or extra large.

Next up was choosing the firmness. I ultimately went for the soft silicone because I don’t have many super-soft toys in my collection, so I thought it would be fun to get something a bit different. I also tend to like flexible toys, and I assumed the soft silicone would have more flex to it.

Finally, it was time to pick the colours for my custom dildo. I looked at the suggested colourways for the MOOM and, though they were all super pretty and creative, none of them felt like quite what I was looking for. Ultimately, inspiration struck and I settled on a marbled combination of bright orange, bright pink, and white that reminds me of the lesbian pride flag.

Nothosaur custom sex toys colour selection example
Nothosaur’s extensive colour selection

The MOOM in medium comes with a suction cup base by default, which works for me. This allows me to use it with a strap-on harness as well as making it convenient to hold. If you opt for the MOOM in a large or extra large size, you can add a vac-u-lock hole and adaptor for a fucking machine if you like.

What I Love About My Custom Nothosaur MOOM

And with all those decisions made, it was time to sit back and wait for my custom dildo to arrive. Which, in a couple of weeks, it did. The finished toy is so, so bright and femme and colourful! I mean, just look at it:

Nothosaur MOOM custom dildo

The website pictures really don’t do justice to just how bright and vibrant these colours are. The design is also even more beautiful and intricate close up than the images show. I feel like I notice some new detail every time I look at it.

The MOOM dildo has the perfect level of texturing for me. The “vines” along the shaft are pronounced enough to feel and to be satisfying, but not so much that it tips over into uncomfortable.

I’m also really glad I opted for the soft silicone for this one. I think it’s possible that the intensely ridged head and the textured shaft would have been too intense in a firmer silicone. But at this level, it’s absolutely perfect. The ultra-flexible softness also means that I can angle the head perfectly to brush against my G-spot.

Nothosaur MOOM custom dildo

The MOOM’s suction cup is strong, and its broad base makes it ideal for strap-on sex.

Finally, can we talk about those spikes on the base? They, too, are super soft and when the dildo is fully inserted, they tease and tickle my vulva every time I thrust or twist the toy. Amazing.

Get Your Own Custom Dildo

It’s safe to say Nothosaur knocked it out of the park with my MOOM custom dildo. The result is something beautiful, unique, and totally “me.” I love it.

Nothosaur MOOM custom dildo

Want your own? Head over to Nothosaur’s store, find the design you like, and get customising! A medium MOOM in 3 colours retails for $94.99, but prices vary according to the style and customisations you choose.

Thanks to Nothosaur for gifting me this toy and sponsoring this review! All views are, as always, my own.