[Toy Review] Funzze Super Powerful Massager

It’s no secret that I love wand vibrators. I don’t even know how many I own at this point – it must be at least a dozen, possibly closer to 20. Yet, whenever I get offered the chance to review one, I jump at it. They’re a classic for a reason, after all, and have stood the test of time ever since Betty Dodson taught women how to masturbate with the Hitachi Magic Wand in the living room of her New York apartment back in the 1970s. (What a legend that woman was.)

I’m pleased to be bringing you another wand vibrator review today courtesy of Funzze, who kindly sent me the Funzze Super Powerful Massager, their take on the wand vibrator, to try out and review for you all.

Funzze Super Powerful Massager

Funzze Super Powerful Massager wand vibrator

The Funzze Super Powerful Massager is a wand style vibrator with a long handle and a large head, measuring a total of 13.5″ in length. Its head is made of body-safe silicone and the body is ABS plastic. The button panel, located in the middle of the handle, is also silicone. The only colour it comes in is black.

This toy is USB rechargeable. You’ll get anything from an hour to 2 hours of use (depending on settings) out of a full charge, which takes around 3 hours.

The Funzze Super Powerful Massager arrived in discreet packaging, with the toys packed in simple branded cardboard boxes. It also comes with a drawstring storage bag.

What I Like About the Funzze Super Powerful Massager

Funzze Super Powerful Massager wand vibrator bent to show the flexible neck

In short, I am really impressed with how well the Funzze Super Powerful Massager holds up, even compared to much more expensive products. Let’s have a look at all the specific things I liked about it.

  • First and most importantly: those vibrations! The Funzze Super Powerful Massager really lives up to its name – its power level is seriously impressive. Even better, the vibrations are fairly rumbly. This means that you get deep, satisfying stimulation rather than a numbing buzz. It gets the job done, and it gets it done quickly and reliably.
  • The firmness of the head. This makes it easy to get a good amount of pressure, and it transmits the vibrations well.
  • The flexible neck. This allows you to position the toy exactly where and how you want it. However, it’s not so flexible that it’s impossible to get any pressure. This can be a difficult balance to strike, but this toy does it well.
  • There are 8 speed settings and a massive 20 different patterns, which can be used in any combination.
  • It is compatible with many standard wand attachments. Want to add texture or turn your wand into a penis masturbator or rabbit vibe? Just add a topper and you’re good to go.
  • It’s fairly light for its size, weighing just over 300g.
  • The buttons are easy to press, well placed, and the controls are intuitive. There’s an on/off button, a button to change the pattern, and a button to change the speed. The buttons are raised and large enough that it’s easy to press them without looking.
  • An on/off button that you just press and don’t have to hold down. This might sound like a small thing, but it really makes a difference to my experience using a toy.
  • The inclusion of a storage bag is a nice touch, particularly for such an inexpensive product.
  • The super affordable price point! The Funzze Super Powerful Massager retails for a bargain $29.99. It also comes with a 1-year warranty should anything go wrong.

Any Downsides?

Funzze Super Powerful Massager wand vibrator buttons

With all of those good things said, there were a few small things about the Funzze Super Powerful Massager that didn’t work so well for me.

  • For some reason, when you switch on the Funzze Super Powerful Massager, it starts at the highest setting. This might not be a problem for those of us whose usual vibrator use pattern is “stick it on the most powerful speed and leave it there.” (Hello!) But if you prefer to start slowly and work up through the speeds, having to immediately switch down when you turn it on could be annoying.
  • The speed and pattern controls only scroll one way. So if you want to go back a step, you have to cycle all the way through all the settings to do so.
  • It’s not waterproof. Which is fair enough – most wand vibrators aren’t. This isn’t a big deal to me as I don’t generally use toys in water anyway, but if you like to masturbate in the bath or shower this is something to bear in mind. It also means it’s better to clean the wand with a sterile body-safe wipe rather than soap and water.
  • It’s moderately loud (companies: please stop claiming your toys are quiet when they demonstrably aren’t.) All wand vibrators are going to be loud to a certain extent, and it’s not egregious, but it’s certainly noticeable.
  • The single use plastic wrap around the toy inside the packaging box was unnecessary and is not very environmentally friendly.

Verdict

I’m often cynical about toys at very low price points, assuming they can’t possibly compete with their higher priced counterparts. I should probably reevaluate that assumption, though, because the Funzze Super Powerful Massager is so, so, so good for the price. Whether you’re on a budget and looking for a reliable staple or seeking an entry-level product to see whether wand vibrators work for you, this is a great option. Despite the small issues I identified, it’s an excellent toy that can easily compete with many of the pricier products in my collection.

You can buy this product directly from Funzze.

Thanks to Funzze for sending me this product and sponsoring this unbiased review. All writing and views are, as always, mine.

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