[Toy Review] Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder

Tentacle toys, and fantasy sex toys in general, are a massive and hugely popular category. Readers are always asking me for recommendations and, until recently, I’ve been pretty stuck for what to suggest. I don’t share this particular kink, so I’ve never really sought out tentacle toys, alien toys, and so on for their own sake.

However, I’m now thrilled to have discovered the lovely folks at Uncover Creations and their fabulous all-silicone, body-safe, UK-made products. They were kind enough to send me three of their clit grinder toys to try. Today we’re looking at the third: the Tentacle Grinder.

(I suppose I should have probably reviewed the original Tentacle Grinder before the Tentacle Grinder II, but I loved the latter so much that I couldn’t wait to tell you all about it!)

Uncover Creations’ Tentacle Grinder

Tentacle Toys from Uncover Creations purple tentacle clit grinder

The Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder was one of the company’s first forays into tentacle toys and it seems to be standing the test of time for good reason! This clitoral grinder is a swirly mass of coiled tentacles, each lined with dozens of little suckers. I’m hugely impressed with the intricacy and detail of this toy. If you’re into tentacles for their own sake, you’ll love the fluid, almost moving sense you get from this toy’s aesthetic.

My Tentacle Grinder is a lovely lilac colour – looking at the colour guide, I think it’s the one called “Denim.” You can choose from a range of colourways including single colour, fade, and marble effects, or you can save a little money on your order by letting the company choose and surprise you.

The Tentacle Grinder is made of body-safe matte silicone. If you prefer things extra smooth, you can get the “Silky Smooth” upgrade which uses a special additive made from Durian tree nuts. There are other customisation options, too – you can add a hole for a bullet vibrator, add a vibrator to your order, or choose from different colours for your straps.

Back view of the Uncover Creations tentacle toys grinder

The toy measures 7″ in length, 4.9″ across, and 1.77″ in depth at the tallest point. It comes with a set of straps measuring 70cm (2.5 ft), allowing you to attach it to a surface, toy mount, or body part if you want to. Though, since it weighs in at a chunky 440g, it will stay in place on any flat surface without the need for the straps.

Tentacle Grinder In Use

The Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder is texture for days. The curves of the various tendrils, plus all the little suckers, means I get so much stimulation that it’s almost overwhelming in the best possible way. Given all that texturing, though, you’ll really need lots of lube to get the best experience from this one.

Since it’s relatively large and wide, you can get incredible all-over vulva stimulation from this toy. The stimulation is also continuous and constant. No matter how you move against it, at least one of the tentacles and all its suckers will be in contact with your clit at all times.

As with the other Uncover Creations tentacle toys I’ve tried, the height of this grinder is one of its main and best selling points. Its relatively tall design makes it so easy to get into a comfortable position and grind against it, even while lying down.

The firmness is excellent, too. Though the company calls this blend of silicone “super soft”, there’s still plenty of firmness and substance to grind against. If you prefer your toys much firmer, you can always ask for a custom toy in the “medium” blend.

Tentacle grinder from Uncover Creations in purple

The only downside to this toy is that it’s a bit of a nightmare to clean. Bodily fluids and lube can get stuck between the various tentacles and in all the little folds. I recommend boil-sterilising it regularly to make sure you’ve got it really clean as well as washing it thoroughly between uses.

Tentacle Toys + Vibrations

My Uncover Creations grinders came with the premium bullet option, which is the Nu Sensuelle Bullet Point. This surprisingly excellent and powerful bullet (which costs just £35 to add to your order) is waterproof, rechargeable, and offers 10 constant speeds and 10 vibration patterns.

You can also use your own favourite bullet vibrator with your grinder if you prefer, of course. Whatever you use, though, lube it up before you insert it into your grinder. Trust me, you don’t want to be trying to get it out afterwards without lube.

Nu Sensuelle bullet point bullet vibrator

Like the Tentacle Grinder II, the original Tentacle Grinder doesn’t really need the bullet. It’s just so excellent on its own. Even so, sometimes it’s nice to mix things up and if you want a little extra stimulation or something a bit different, the bullet is a nice addition. The thickness of the silicone on this one does dampen the vibrations a bit, making them slightly buzzy. Still, combined with the texture of the grinder, they’re more than enough for me.

Verdict

I love the Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder. When I want intensity from a grind toy, this is the one I reach for. If you like a lot of texture, this is the toy for you.

The basic Tentacle Grinder with black straps in a random colour retails at £60. Optional extras such as custom toy or strap colours, the vibrating bullet hole, a vibrator, and the “silky smooth” finish add to the cost.

Thanks to Uncover Creations for sending me three of their tentacle toys to review. All views are, as ever, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Toy Review] Uncover Creations Synstyl Grinder

The grinder toy market has exploded in the last couple of years, with numerous manufacturers bringing out their own versions. These textured toys are designed primarily for people with a clitoris, though they can of course be used by anyone. The idea is that you grind against them and the friction plus the texture provides stimulation.

If you’ve been reading my reviews for a while, you’ll know that I’m pretty obsessed with grinders. Today I’m reviewing the second of the three grinder toys that Uncover Creations recently sent me: the Synstyl Grinder.

Uncover Creations is a small UK-based business founded by two friends and focusing on providing body-safe pleasure products, mostly in the fantasy toys genre.

Synstyl: A Grinder Toy with Serious Texture

Uncover Creations Synstyl clit grinder toy

The Synstyl Grinder, like all of Uncover Creations’ products, is made of 100% body-safe silicone. It comes with a set of straps measuring 70cm (2.5ft). You can use these to attach it to a surface, body part, toy mount, or whatever you care to grind against!

It measures 6.7″ in length, 5.1″ in width, and around 1.5″ in height at the tallest point. This relatively tall design is a major advantage – it makes it so much easier to grind against the toy from a comfortable position, such as lying down.

This toy’s design is inspired by a flower, though to me it really looks like a vulva! It’s perhaps the most intricately textured toy I’ve ever tried. The Synstyl Grinder is undoubtedly beautiful. Even the base is decorated with similar texturing, which isn’t necessary from a sensation perspective but makes the toy even more gorgeous.

You can order all Uncover Creations grinders in a vast array of colours and combinations. I think mine is “Kingfisher”, based on the colour guide, which is a lovely vibrant shade of blue. You can choose your own colour or ask the company to surprise you, and you can choose between a solid colour, a marbling effect, or a fade of two colours.

The customisation options don’t stop there, either! You can choose to include a hole in the back of your grinder for a vibrating bullet, and even purchase a basic or premium bullet vibe with it if you like. You can change the colour of your toy’s straps from basic black to one of four other options. And if you prefer things extra-smooth, there’s a “Silky Smooth” additive derived from Durian tree nuts that can be added to your toy. In other words, you can craft your ideal custom grinder.

The Synstyl Grinder In Use

When I first looked at my three Uncover Creations grinders, I thought the Synstyl would likely feel the most intense due to all the little flaps, curves and ridges. Imagine my surprise, then, when it actually turned out to be the least intense of the three!

Snystyl clit grinder toy from Uncover Creations

The Synstyl Grinder’s silicone is extremely soft and, for me, almost too yielding. I kept finding myself wanting more pressure from it. All those little petal-like folds were just a little too flexible. Uncover Creations do offer their grinder toys in medium firmness as well as the standard “super soft”, and I feel like that might have been a better option for me for this one.

Don’t get me wrong, the Synstyl Grinder still feels great in use. It’s just not quite enough for me from a pressure and intensity perspective. I’ve found that I tend to reach for it when I’m looking for a warmup toy, though it doesn’t usually make me orgasm by itself unless I’m having an extremely sensitive day.

After a couple of tests of the Synstyl Grinder by itself, I thought it was time to try it with the included bullet vibrator.

Synstyl Grinder + Bullet Vibrator

My grinders came with the premium bullet vibrator option, which happens to be the Nu Sensuelle Bullet Point. This excellent basic bullet vibrator is made of ABS plastic, which transmits vibrations well even through a thick silicone grinder toy like the Synstyl Grinder. It has 10 constant speeds and 10 patterns, a single button interface, and surprisingly rumbly and strong vibrations for its £35 price-point. I do wish it had a remote control, though. It’s pretty difficult to change the settings manually without completely dismounting when you’re riding the toy!

Back view of the Uncover Creations Synstyl Grinder

Of course, if you already have a favourite bullet vibrator you can use that with your grinder instead! Whatever you choose, though, use some lube to insert the vibrator into the grinder. Otherwise it will be difficult to get in and even more difficult to get out (ask me how I know.)

When I tried the Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II, I commented that it really didn’t need the bullet vibrator. The Synstyl Grinder, on the other hand, does – at least for me. I tend to prefer more intensity, and the grinder plus vibrator gives me what the grinder on its own lacks. On its higher settings, the vibrator makes the toy’s petals sort of quiver and flicker, which feels amazing.

Verdict

I like the Synstyl Grinder, even though it’s less intense than I expected it to be. This one really comes into its own when you add the vibrator, so I recommend doing so if you can. If you’re looking for a softer and slightly less intense grinder toy, the Synstyl Grinder might be perfect for you.

The basic Synstyl Grinder with black straps retails for £60. That price goes up as you add various customisation options.

Thanks to Uncover Creations for sending me samples of several of their grinders to try. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views are, as always, my own.

[Toy Review] Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II

Readers are constantly asking me for recommendations for good fantasy sex toys. And I’m often stuck for what to recommend, because tentacles and aliens and monsters and things just aren’t really my kink. You know what is my kink, though? Quality and body-safe sex toys made and sold by small businesses. (Also grinders. I fucking love grinders.) Enter Uncover Creations, who recently sent me their Tentacle Grinder II (as well as two other products – reviews coming soon!) to test for you all.

Uncover Creations is a small business based in the UK and started by two friends who were sick of seeing the same boring, repetitive sex toy designs again and again. All their toys are made from high-quality, body-safe silicone and hand poured to order in a huge range of colours and styles. To say I was excited to try out their stuff would be an understatement!

Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II

Even though I don’t actually have a tentacle kink, I’ll say this for the Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II: it’s a beautiful looking toy. There’s a central raised and textured tentacle with two rows of “suckers” that tapers to a tongue-like point. The base of the toy is also decorated with swirly patterns and aquatic motifs.

Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II fantasy sex toy

It comes with a set of straps that you can use to attach the toy to a pillow, toy mount, partner’s leg, or any other suitable surface you can think of. The straps measure around 70cm or 2.5ft and are removeable for convenience when you’re not using them.

My Tentacle Grinder II is a gorgeous shade of turquoise. I think it’s “Strong Mint,” based on the colour guide. You can choose a solid colour, a fade of two colours, or a marbling effect. You can also allow the company to surprise you with one colour or a blend.

Optionally, you can choose for your Tentacle Grinder II to have a hole in the back where you can insert a bullet vibrator. There’s also an option to add a “Silky Smooth” upgrade, which is a finish made from durian tree nuts. I chose not to go for this because my vulva is pretty sensitive and I wasn’t sure this additive would agree with me.

Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II fantasy sex toy from the back

The Tentacle Grinder II measures 7.5″ in length and 5.5″ in width. The central tentacle is raised by 1.77″ at the highest point. It weighs in at a hefty 440g but, since this isn’t (typically) a toy you have to hold in your hand during use, its weight won’t be a problem for most people.

In Use

I knew I was going to love this toy the moment I looked at it. It’s got so many things I like: a raised section, soft and squishy silicone, and plenty of texturing.

Here’s what I didn’t expect: it is by far the closest a sex toy has ever come to mimicking cunnilingus for me. No, I didn’t see that coming either!

I thought that the highest point in the middle of the tentacle was going to be my favourite part of this toy. However, I soon realised that if I grind against it just right, the tongue-like tip of the tentacle flicks back and forth over my clit like… well, like a tongue. With plenty of lube, it’s a surprisingly good approximation of cunnilingus.

Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II from fantasy sex toys range

The orgasms I have from this toy are less like the orgasms I have from other grinders and more like the orgasms I have from a partner going down on me.

I always thought that, if a toy ever did actually get close to feeling like receiving oral sex, it would be a suction toy. Many claim to do this, though none have yet succeeded. I did not expect that it would be a grinder shaped like a tentacle. But there you have it – if I want something that kinda feels like a partner going down on me and I don’t have a willing partner available, this is what I’m reaching for.

The other great selling point of the Tentacle Grinder II is its height. With some lower grinders, I’ve found myself struggling to get into the right position or having to use a pillow or mount to bring the toy closer to my body. No such problems here. I can simply place it under me in a lying position and grind against it comfortably.

Tentacle Grinder II + Bullet Vibrator

Confession: the first couple of times I used this toy, I completely forgot to try it with the bullet vibrator. That’s because it is so damn good even without it. Still, I thought I’d better test it both with and without the vibrator to give you all the fullest possible review.

I opted for the premium bullet option, which is the Nu Sensuelle Bullet Point. This plastic bullet is waterproof, rechargeable, and has 10 constant speeds and 10 patterns. For its price-point (it costs just £35 to add one of these to your Uncover Creations order), this is a shockingly good bullet vibrator. It’s powerful and surprisingly rumbly! Of course, you can also use any bullet vibrator you already own, if you prefer.

Nu Sensuelle bullet point bullet vibrator

I wasn’t sure how well the Tentacle Grinder II would transmit the bullet’s vibrations given the thickness of its silicone. But it actually does so incredibly well and I can still get plenty of sensation from the bullet even through the thickest part of the grinder.

It is a shame the bullet isn’t a remote control one, because having to manually change the settings when you’re riding the toy can be quite annoying and fiddly. It also has one of those annoying one-button interfaces.

Overall, I’m glad I got the bullet with my Tentacle Grinder II as it provides some different stimulation options. But it’s also not strictly necessary because this toy performs so damn well on its own. Since I got it, I’ve used the vibrator less than half the times I’ve used the grinder.

Pro tip: make your life much easier by applying a bit of lube to the bullet before you insert it into the grinder. Trust me, it’ll go in and come out so much more quickly and easily if you do.

Verdict

At this point it doesn’t even matter that I’m not into tentacles for their own sake. Because I am so, so, so into this thing specifically! I do not say this lightly, because I have reviewed around 200 toys at this point and tried hundreds more: the Tentacle Grinder II is one of the best sex toys I have ever tried.

The basic Tentacle Grinder II begins at £60 and comes with a set of black straps. Optional customisations such as custom colours, different strap options, a vibrating bullet hole, an included vibrator, and the “silky smooth finish” come with additional costs.

Thanks to Uncover Creations for sending me the Tentacle Grinder II to review. Affiliate links appear in this post and all reviews are, as always, my own.

[Toy Review] Promescent Rabbit Vibrator & Bullet Vibrator

If you’ve been around for a while, you might remember my last Promescent review from almost three years ago where I introduced you to their collection of lubes. Well, this company has now released a bunch of new products since then and their team were kind enough to send me two of them, so I think it’s time for another Promescent review, don’t you?

Today I’m looking at Promescent’s two new sex toys for vulva owners: a rabbit vibrator and a bullet vibrator. This new range also includes a cock ring.

Promescent review: Rabbit vibrator (left) and bullet vibrator on a grey blanket

Promescent Rabbit Vibrator

The Promescent Rabbit Vibrator looked promising to me straight away, and I’m saying that as someone who is very picky about rabbit vibrators and doesn’t get much out of most of them. The flexible, curved clitoral stimulator, in particular, caught my eye.

This toy measures 8″ in total length, 4″ in insertable length. Its slim shaft is 1.2″ in diameter at the widest point. It is made of 100% body-safe silicone in a lovely, rich shade of blue/purple (fun fact: a very similar colour to my hair!) The material, it has to be said, is absolutely lovely. It’s ultra-soft and feels gorgeous to the touch.

Promescent rabbit vibrator in a woman's hand

The Promescent Rabbit Vibrator is waterproof, USB-rechargeable, and comes with a drawstring storage bag. You’ll get around 2 hours running time from a 2 hour charge.

In Use: Pros & Cons

Let’s start with the good and talk about what I liked about this toy.

  • Its shape is excellent. The insertable portion has a gentle curve and a pronounced tip which is ideal for G-spot stimulation.
  • The flexibility is a huge perk for a rabbit toy like this. It makes it comfortable to insert and easy to move around to get the best possible angle. Since all bodies are different, this will make the Promescent Rabbit accessible to far more users.
  • The clitoral arm is curvy and flexible enough that it actually stays in contact with my clit when I thrust with the toy or change positions! This is rare in rabbit vibrators, and I love it.
  • The buttons are easy to press and the controls are simple, intuitive, and responsive. Plus and minus buttons allowing you to switch between settings in both directions are a big advantage.
  • The button placement is sensible and comfortable to use.
  • It has three patterns and a constant vibration setting, all of which you can use on three different speeds. (That’s 12 settings in total.)
  • It’s pretty quiet.
Promescent rabbit vibrator buttons close up

So with all those good things said, was there anything I didn’t like?

  • When I turned the Promescent Rabbit Vibrator on, the intensity of the vibrations felt promising. Unfortunately, in use, they felt weaker than I expected them to, particularly in the clitoral stimulator. Companies continually design rabbit vibrators with the stronger motor in the internal section and, given that the overwhelming majority of people with vulvas orgasm primarily from clitoral stimulation, this is going to be the wrong way around for the vast majority of users.
  • The vibrations are buzzier than I would ideally like.
  • The buttons are small and hard to see in anything but bright light. Larger or lit buttons would make the toy more accessible.
  • I would have preferred the ability to control the two motors independently. Many users, including me, don’t always like the same level of stimulation internally as externally.

The Promescent Rabbit Vibrator retails at $109.99.

Promescent Bullet Vibrator

The Promescent Bullet Vibrator is made of the same soft, silky, blue/purple silicone as the rabbit. It measures a petite 3.5″ in total length, about the same as a lipstick.

Promescent review: purple bullet vibrator in a woman's hand

It’s USB rechargeable, giving about 90 minutes of runtime for a 2 hour charge, and waterproof. You’ll find the charging cable and a drawstring storage bag in the box alongside the toy.

In Use: Pros & Cons

Once again, let’s start with the things I liked about the Promescent Bullet Vibrator.

  • The twist towards the base makes it so easy and comfortable to hold. This is such a simple but brilliant design feature!
  • Like the Rabbit, the Bullet’s silicone is super soft and silky.
  • The large button on the base is easy to locate and press, even in dark environments.
  • I really love the lipstick-style shape, which gives you the option of broad stimulation (using the side), pinpoint stimulation (using the edge), or a middle ground (using the flat top part.)
  • It has 9 settings, which are really the same three – constant vibrations and two patterns – on three different speed levels. That’s enough for variety, but not enough to get unwieldy with a one-button interface.
  • It’s powerful enough that I can usually cum with it unless I’m having a particularly low-sensitivity day.
  • It’s very quiet.
Promescent bullet vibrator button

Anything I didn’t like about this one?

  • The only real complaint I can make about this toy is that I would have liked the motor to have a little more rumble. It’s reasonably powerful, but it’s also quite buzzy.
  • A two-button interface with up/down options would be a nice addition, but it’s not critical.

The Promescent Bullet Vibrator retails at $69.99.

Verdict

Overall these are two well-made and solidly designed toys! The bullet is the winner for me personally out of the two, though the Rabbit also has plenty to recommend it, particularly in terms of its physical shape and design. Both toys came attractively boxed and were delivered in discreet packaging. They’re reasonably priced for what they are, too.

Promescent also offers a 60-day guarantee. If any product doesn’t do it for you, you can return it within 60 days for a full refund.

This Promescent review was sponsored, meaning I received a fee to write an honest and unbiased review of these products. All views, as always, are mine.

[Toy Review] Godemiche Vibe Pad “Waves” and “Tall Pyramids”

This is the second installment of a two-part review series of Godemiche’s innovative new hump toys, the Vibe Pads. You can read part one here. I received these toys in four of the six available textures, and wanted to tell you a little about each texture as well as about the toys’ overall design.

Godemiche Vibe Pad hump toys with Rocks Off RO80 bullet vibrator

Vibe Pads: The New Generation of Hump Toys

Vibe Pads are the latest iteration of Godemiche’s line of grinding toys which began with the Grind Ring. Each Vibe Pad is a flat, rectangular piece of piece of silicone with a cylindrical raised area a few inches long in the middle. The raised part is covered in texturing and is hollow, and there’s a slit in the back where you can insert the included bullet vibrator. There is also an indent in the silicone where the vibrator button sits, allowing you to switch it on, off, or change settings without taking it out.

Back of the Godemiche Vibe Pad

The idea is simple: grind your vulva and clitoris along the toy. Vibe Pads come with removeable straps so that you can attach them to something (a pillow, the arm of a sofa, your partner’s thigh…) if you want to.

You can customise your Vibe Pad with your choice of one or two colours from over 60 options, your choice of strap colour from 9 options, and shorter or longer straps. There are currently six textures available, though I expect more will be added in due course.

The Vibrator: RO80

The RO80 provided with your Vibe Pad is a small silver bullet vibrator with 7 settings: 3 speeds and 4 patterns. I’m not blown away by it as a vibrator – it’s not particularly powerful and it’s quite buzzy. However, I mind this less than I expected to in this context. Because the vibrations are an addition to an already-excellent toy, rather than being the main event.

As I said in yesterday’s post, the vibrations are more effective with Vibe Pads that have more raised designs rather than flatter ones because they cause the raised areas to sort of flutter.

Of course, you do have the option to use the bullet vibrator of your choice instead. However, that could be more fiddly because the button(s) likely won’t be in the right place.

With that said, let’s take a closer look at the remaining two textures.

“Waves” Vibe Pad

If you remember way back when I reviewed the original Grind Ring range, you may recall that the Waves was my favourite. The silicone ripples are very soft and flexible, and close enough together to provide constant clitoral contact as I grind against it.

Waves Vibe Pad hump toy by Godemiche

It’s a bit like having your clit licked by lots and lots of little silicone tongues. It’s also an ultra smooth sensation compared to many of the other textures. I like this one best when I grind down really hard against it.

“Tall Pyramids” Vibe Pad

The Tall Pyramids texture is a variation on the “Spikes” (part of the original Grind Ring range and also available on other hump toys including the Grind Pads and Vibe Pads.) At first glance, it looks a little scary. Who wants sharp-looking pointy things near their vulva!?

Tall Pyramids Vibe Pad hump toy by Godemiche

However, when you touch the tall pyramids you’ll realise that they are actually very soft and flexible. Depending on how hard you grind against the toy, you can get anything from a very gentle tickle up to quite an intense rubbing sensation. The pyramids glide around your vulva and flick over your clit, stimulating you all over at once.

Verdict

I am, once again, totally obsessed with these toys and ready to evangelise about them to anyone who will listen! These two are definitely my favourite textures of the four, with the Waves coming out overall top by just a hair.

Vibe Pads start from £59.99. If you want to save money, choose “surprise me” to get a random colour. Custom colours, strap lengths, strap colours, and lube all cost a little extra. You can also get a bargain price on a bundle of 3 textures in the same colour for £134.99.

Thanks to Godemiche for sending me the Vibe Pads to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as always, are mine.

[Toy Review] Godemiche Vibe Pad “Jelly Bean” and “Ridges”

Since they first revolutionised my masturbation habits with their Grind Rings over two years ago, Godemiche have been adding more and more products to their range of grinding toys. The latest is the Vibe Pad, which I’m going to review in two batches of two since I received them in four different textures.

What is a Vibe Pad?

Godemiche Vibe Pads in "Jelly Bean" and "Ridges" textures

A Vibe Pad is a flat, flexible, rectangular piece of silicone with a cylindrical raised area a few inches long in the middle. This part is covered in texturing to stimulate the vulva and clitoris when you grind against it. The raised part of each Vibe Pad is hollow, with space for a bullet vibrator that can be put in or removed via the slit in the back of the toy.

Back of the Godemiche Vibe Pad

Vibe Pads also come with removable straps so you can attach them to a surface or body part (thighs work particularly well, #askmehowIknow!) if you want to.

Each Vibe Pad is totally customisable. You can choose one or two colours from over 60 choices, and choose the colour and length of your straps, as well as obviously selecting the texture you want.

At the time of writing, Vibe Pads are available in 6 different textures. Today we’re looking at two of them. Watch this space, though, as I strongly suspect more will be added to the range in due course.

“Jelly Bean” Vibe Pad

This texture is my least favourite of the four that I received. Even so, the fact that I still quite like it should tell you everything you need to know about how I feel about this range overall.

Jelly Beans is the gentlest of the four textures I’ve tried. As you grind, each of the little beans laps slightly against your… no, I’m not making that joke. It’s too obvious and I am ashamed of myself for even thinking it.

Godemiche Vibe Pad in "Jelly Bean" texture

This one definitely works best with the vibrations, which cause each of the little beans to flicker very slightly. I’m actually wondering, though, whether the Jelly Beans texture would work better if the beans lay horizontally rather than vertically. With them positioned vertically, a lot of that lovely “flicking” sensation is lost because you’re grinding with the texture rather than against it.

I enjoy using the Jelly Beans Vibe Pad as a warm-up toy. Overall, though, I find this one slightly too gentle and I haven’t been reaching for it anywhere near as much as the others. This would be a good one to start with if you’re new to hump toys or just prefer a less intense type of stimulation.

“Ridges” Vibe Pad

The Ridges texture is a bit like a slight variation of the “Waves”, which you’ll recall was my favourite from the original batch of Grind Ring textures, so I knew straight away that I was probably going to like this one.

Godemiche Vibe Pad in "Ridges" texture

The Ridges are perhaps more intense than the Waves if anything, as the tops of them are slightly firmer and they don’t move quite as smoothly. If you enjoyed the Waves texture, this is a great step up. You’ll really need adequate lubrication for this one, though. I like to add a little to the surface of the toy before I start, regardless of how wet I am.

The great thing about this texture is that the ridges are close enough together that, as you grind, you get a pretty much constant rubbing sensation along your vulva and clit. Of the new batch, this is the one that can most reliably make me cum.

Let’s Talk About the Vibrator

Your Vibe Pad comes with a vibrator included: the RO80 bullet by Rocks Off. This battery-operated mini vibe has a single-button interface and 7 different settings including 3 constant speeds and 4 patterns.

The Vibe Pads are cleverly designed with a “button” cut into the silicone right where the vibrator’s button sits. This means that you can turn it on, off, or change the setting during use without having to take the vibrator out. This is an excellent touch.

Used by itself, I don’t think I would find the RO80 anything particularly special. It’s not terrible, but it’s fairly buzzy and not that powerful. It’s definitely an enhancement to the Vibe Pad’s main function as a grinding toy rather than the main event.

You know what, though? That’s fine. These toys stand up so well on their own that I can happily use them with or without the vibrations.

The design of the Vibe Pad is such that the vibrations dissipate all the way across my vulva. In my experience, they definitely work best with the more “raised” designs than the flatter ones, as they make everything sort of quiver slightly. Try the “Spikes” with the vibe and thank me later!

Your other option, of course, is to use any bullet vibrator you prefer that fits within the slot. However, this will make operating it more fiddly unless your vibe of choice also happens to have a single button in exactly the same place.

Verdict

Is anyone surprised that I absolutely love these toys? They’re a great evolution of the Grind Ring concept and I’m already a bit obsessed.

Vibe Pads start from £59.99 for a random colour, with optional extras including custom colours, strap lengths, strap colours, and lube available at an additional cost. You can also save by getting a bundle of 3 textures in the same colour for £134.99.

Thanks to Godemiche for sending me the Vibe Pads to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as always, are mine.

[Toy Review] Love Not War Maya

Variations on the trusty bullet vibrator are a dime a dozen these days. This simple and classic design is popular for a reason but, though countless retailers and manufacturers of sex toys have churned out their own version, good bullets are still not the easiest things to find.

There’s the market-leading We-Vibe Tango, of course. The £27 powerhouse from Blush that goes on every sex date with me because it gets me off so damn reliably. A few other decent options. But overall, there are a lot of weak and buzzy and just plain lacklustre bullet vibes out there, with price not always correlating to quality.

That’s why, when lovely sustainable sex toy brand Love Not War (purveyors of such excellent products as the Meile and Koi) reached out and asked me to write them a post for Orgasm Week, I immediately knew I wanted to try out the Maya bullet vibrator.

Love Not War Maya: Sustainably Sexy

Love Not War is a manufacturer dedicated to tackling the wastefulness of the mainstream sex toy industry and bringing more sustainable, planet-friendly alternatives to our bedrooms. All their products come with the same rechargeable battery base and heads you can purchase separately, meaning you only need one set of electronics to enjoy numerous different toys.

Love Not War Maya

Love Not War use as few materials as possible, mostly FDA-grade silicone (with leftovers recycled or reused) and recycled aluminium. Even their packaging is eco-friendly, using natural brown card, soy ink, and environmentally friendly glue. And if something goes wrong, they’ll repair the toy if possible and recycle it if not. Pretty impressive, no? You can read more about Love Not War’s sustainability credentials here.

The Love Not War Maya is a bullet vibrator measuring 4.7″ in length and 0.88″ in diameter. It is made from aluminium which, yes, is a body-safe material! The metal gives it a nice weight (though much lighter than stainless steel, the other metal commonly used for sex toys.)

Love Not War Maya

It is an attractive colour that is… not exactly rose gold, but that’s the closest thing I can think to compare it to. It’s stamped with the Love Not War logo. The brushed aluminium feels absolutely gorgeous in my hand, cool and sleek and smooth. It’s also perfect for temperature play. Just run it under warm or cold water before use (or pop it in the fridge for a few minutes.)

The Love Not War Maya is rechargeable (cable included), waterproof, and travel lockable. It comes with an included drawstring storage pouch, which is a nice extra.

Love Not War Maya

In Use

The Love Not War Maya isn’t the smallest bullet vibrator in the world, so if a very petite size is important to you then you might want to look elsewhere. Due to its slightly larger size, though, I actually find it easier to hold and operate than many of its tinier counterparts.

The Maya’s single button is situated at its base. This button is easy to find with your finger and easy to press. Simply short-press to turn it on and to scroll through the ten settings, then long-press to turn it off. I don’t love a single-button interface, personally. Ten settings is a lot to scroll through to find the one you like! So that’s a little annoying.

Love Not War Maya

It is, however, pretty much the only significant complaint I can make about this overall excellent toy. The Maya’s gently tapering tip is perfect for precision clitoral stimulation, while its body is wide enough for a satisfying all-over buzz if I lay it flat against my vulva. It’s unobstrusive enough to slide between bodies during penetrative sex, if that’s your thing.

Love Not War Maya

Best of all, the Maya is powerful. Its vibrations don’t quite meet my definition of truly rumbly, but they are also far from buzzy. Its power rivals many vibrators that are both far bigger and more expensive. There are four constant vibration settings (the highest is absolutely dreamy) as well as six patterns to choose from. The Maya is also quiet enough to be non-distracting and discreet.

Verdict

I love this vibrator! The Maya is sleek, sexy, sustainable, and powerful. It’s easy to use and, while not the smallest, still easy to throw in my bag for a date night or weekend away. It’s going right on the list of the best bullet vibrators I have ever tried.

The Love Not War Maya retails for £69.99 but LNW are currently offering 40% off for Orgasm Week while stocks last!

Thanks to Love Not War for sending me this item to review. All opinions are, as ever, my own. This post contains affiliate links.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day #1: USB Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator

I’m baaaaaaaaaack!

Hey there folks. Yes, I’m back. I honestly wasn’t sure if I was going to continue sex blogging for a while. My health has taken a serious battering this year and I’m not fully back to “normal” yet, whatever normal is going to look like from now on. I’m taking it one day at a time.

But I did find that I missed sex blogging and talking to you all. So, after a long hiatus, I’m back. A couple of things are going to be changing around here, most notably that I’m going to be much less rigid with myself about my posting frequency.

I’d love to share content with you reliably on set days throughout the week, every week. I really would. But the reality is that I am neurodivergent, have a busy grad school and vanilla work schedule, and have unreliable physical and mental health. So I’m choosing kindness to myself and I’m going to write when I can, forgive myself when I can’t, and focus on work that pays (without compromising on my values and my ethical obligations to my readers, of course.)

If you’re still here, thank you for bearing with me.

Now let’s get on with the review, shall we?

Once again, my lovely pals at Lovehoney have sent me their sex toy advent calendar, this year created in partnership with Womanizer. And once again, I’m going to be opening a door a day and telling you about the products inside.

This kit is aimed at “couples”, and assumes one penis-owner and one vulva-owner. There are several other adult advent calendars in the range including 12 day toy calendars for different types of bodies and a 7 day lingerie calendar.

I’m going to try a slightly different format this year as I review this kit: giving you some basic product info, some pros and cons, and a quick final verdict on each product.

Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 Day 1: Bullet Vibrator

Gold bullet vibrator from Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022

Product Info

  • Material: ABS plastic
  • Colour: Shiny gold with a black Lovehoney heart insignia.
  • Body safe? Yes – ABS is non-porous and non-toxic.
  • Power: Rechargeable, cable included.
  • Speeds/patterns: 3 constant speeds, 7 patterns
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 3″ in length, 0.8″ in diameter.
  • Lube compatible: Yes, all kinds.
  • Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water or a 10% bleach solution.

Pros

  • Surprisingly powerful for its small size
  • Small enough to slide between bodies during penetrative sex other activities
  • Versatile and suitable for a wide range of body parts

Cons

  • A little more buzzy than I would like
  • Only one button, making it a little annoying to select the pattern you want

Verdict

A decent, basic bullet vibrator. Unlikely to satisfy serious power fans or those who really need rumbles, but otherwise perfectly serviceable and does what it says on the tin.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 2022 Couples’ Sex Toy Advent Calendar, which retails for £130 and contains £374.99 worth of products, to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going! US readers can buy it here.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #1: Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator

Update 04/03/22: this product is seasonal only and has been discontinued. Individual components may still be available.

I’m so excited to have received the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar for couples! This treasure trove of sexy goodies comes with 24 numbered windows, each containing a sex toy, kink product, or other sexy item.

This kit is geared towards couples where one person has a penis and the other has a vulva, but many of the items are flexible and unisex. Mr CK and I are going to be opening one door at a time for the next 24 days and sharing a mini review each day, then I’ll publish an overall review of the whole set at the end.

Let’s dive in and see what’s behind the first door…

Door #1: Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator

Sex toy advent calendar for couples door 1

Today we’re looking at Door #1, which contained a small bullet vibrator. Here’s a quick rundown of the details:

  • Material: ABS plastic
  • Colour: Shiny red with a gold Lovehoney heart insignia.
  • Body safe? Yes – ABS is non-porous and non-toxic.
  • Power: Rechargeable.
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 3″ in length, 0.8″ in diameter.
  • Lube compatible: Yes, all kinds.
  • Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water or a 10% bleach solution.

As far as I can tell, this vibrator is the Lovehoney Glow Up Bullet Vibrator in a new colourway. This means its RRP is £24.99.

Lovehoney Glow-Up Bullet Vibrator from Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar

The vibe comes with a USB charging cable and you get around 60 minutes use on a full charge. It operates on a one-button interface located in the base, and offers three constant speeds and seven patterns. To switch it on, you have to hold down the button until the light flashes, then give it another quick press. Press to cycle through settings, then press and hold to turn the toy off.

Power-wise, I’m significantly more impressed than I expected to be! This toy packs a decent punch, given its small size and low price point. It sits midway along the buzz-to-rumble scale, offering strong and non-numbing vibrations though not quite hitting that deep, penetrating rumble that so many people love. It’s a little loud, so bear that in mind if you live in a shared space or need to keep the noise down.

The target market for this set is primarily people and couples without much experience of sex toys, perhaps just exploring or looking to start their collection, so I’m approaching this review series through that lens. This is a great bullet vibrator for beginners, powerful enough to hit the spot but compact, non-threatening, and easy to use.

Red bullet vibrator for couples from sex toy advent calendar

If you enjoy penetrative sex, this bullet is small enough to slide between bodies for extra clitoral stimulation. And remember that vibes aren’t just for clits! You can also use your bullet vibrator on the labia, nipples, penis, balls, perineum, or literally any other body part that feels good. (Don’t insert it anally, though – it’s not safe for that as it doesn’t have a flared base).

Bottom line: it’s body-safe. It can get me off reliably. And it’s small and light enough to throw in my bag for a playdate or weekend away.

Door #1 is a hit. Check back to see what’s behind Door #2 tomorrow…

The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar retails for £120, and you can get 10% off this or any other purchase at Lovehoney by using my code “coffkink10” at checkout. These calendars are limited in quantity, so don’t wait until December to get yours.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

[Toy Review] GFY Custom Vibrator

[Update: this product has been discontinued and the company has closed. I have removed dead links and left this post up for information.]

Sometimes I don’t know I need something until it is offered to me. One such thing recently was… a vibrator with my site logo on it! It’s such an obvious thing, given what I do, but it had simply never occured to me as a possibility before. But when the good folks at GFY Toy reached out and offered me a GFY custom vibrator, well, I immediately knew I needed it in my life.

GFY custom printed sex toys logo

Read on to learn how I got on… and to learn how you can enter to win your own custom sex toy!

Who Are GFY?

I’ll let them introduce themselves. In their words:

“Sometimes you’ve just got to ask yourself, what sort of person starts a company literally just to print people’s faces on vibrators? Well, that’s us. The heroes you never knew you needed.”

– GFY

GFY stands for – yeah, you guessed it – Go Fuck Yourself. Which is, honestly, a truly hilarious name for a company that makes custom vibrators. Well played, folks. They claim to be the first company in the world making custom-printed vibes, and they make a donation to Cancer Research for every vibe sold.

You can send them a picture and they’ll use it as a basis for a toy, or you can use their nifty online design tool to create your own. They’ll print up your vibrator and ship it to you quickly and discreetly. That’s it!

Here’s how mine looks:

Coffee and Kink GFY custom vibrator

GFY custom vibrator with coffee cups

Cute, no? The printing is clear and has not started to rub off even though I have washed the toy several times.

If you design your own, a GFY custom vibrator costs £19.99. If they design it for you, it’s £24.99.

What’s it Like as a Vibrator?

The GFY custom vibrator is in the classic bullet vibrator shape and measures 5″ in length and 1″ in diameter at the widest point. It tapers to a rounded tip and is suitable for both vaginal and clitoral use (don’t use it anally, though, as it doesn’t have a flared base). The GFY vibe is made of hard ABS plastic, which is non-porous, body-safe, and compatible with all varieties of lube.

Custom printed vibrator with Coffee and Kink logo

The single button interface is located in the base and is easy to press. You use this to switch the toy on, cycle through the patterns, and switch it off again. The GFY vibrator offers ten settings in total: two constant vibration speeds and eight patterns.

The power is pretty mediocre, which is what you’d expect from a basic bullet vibe that costs under £25. I’ve actually tried far worse at this price point, though – it’s not excessively buzzy and the hard plastic conducts the vibrations reasonably well.

Bullet vibrator with custom printing and button in base

If you prefer gentle to middling strength vibes, the GFY custom vibrator is a solid option. If you’re a Power Queen (or any other form of Power Royalty!) like me, though, this vibe is unlikely to hit the spot.

You’ll need one AA battery for your GFY vibe, which is handily included. I’ve had about 2 hours’ testing time out of mine so far and it’s still going strong!

Verdict

Honestly, I think my GFY toy is going to be a desk ornament rather than a vibrator I reach for to get off. It’s just not really powerful enough to become a nightstand staple for me. But that’s okay, because it makes me smile every time I look at it.

Are you looking for playful gag gift ideas for your partner, a joke present for your bestie, souvenirs for your hen party, or even promotional items if you work in the adult industry? If so, a GFY vibrator is a fun and different option!

Win a GFY Custom Vibrator

We’ve just launched the fundraising campaigns for Smutathon 2021, the 12 hour charity writing marathon that I founded back in 2017. This year’s event takes place on Saturday 6 November. We will be supporting Trans Lifeline in the US and Gendered Intelligence in the UK. These trans-led charities are dedicated to supporting the transgender community, which is so important in this time of rampant transphobia.

As a token of our appreciation, everyone who donates at least £10 between now and midnight on November 6th will be entered into a prize draw. We have a bunch of amazing things to give away, including a GFY custom vibrator with your choice of design, plus erotica anthologies, sex toys, event tickets, and much more! Each £10 gets you an entry, so if you donate £100 you’ll get ten entries.

Thanks to GFY Toy for sending me this custom vibrator in exchange for an honest review, as well as for their support of Smutathon 2021! All views, as always, are mine.