bullet vibrator Archives

Tracy's Dog review header image for Surreal lipstick vibrator

[Toy Review] Tracy’s Dog Surreal App-Controlled Lipstick Vibrator

Published on October 12, 2024October 12, 2024 by Amy

Even those who are nowhere near as deep in the world of sex toys as I am might have heard of Tracy’s Dog [1]. One Amazon user went slightly viral back in 2019 for her hilarious Tracy’s Dog review: of her experience using the OG Sucking Vibrator, the anonymous woman wrote: “My legs went straight out like those goats who faint when scared.”

Honestly, I should probably hang up my keyboard right now because I am literally a professional sex toy reviewer and yet nothing I ever write will be as succinctly, brilliantly descriptive and hilarious as that line.

As it is, however, I’m not going anywhere and I am back with my latest Tracy’s Dog review. This time I’m looking at the Surreal bullet vibrator. Did it match up to the lofty heights of the company’s previous viral sensation?

[1] Apparently this objectively incredibly strange name came about because the company wanted their toys to become “faithful and loyal companions” like… well, a dog.

Tracy’s Dog Surreal: What Is It?

The Tracy’s Dog Surreal is a lipstick-shaped bullet vibrator with app-controlled functionalities and a single control button on the toy itself. It measures just over 3.5″ in total length, weights a petite 197g, and has a broad base that enables it to stand up.

This toy is made of body-safe silicone in bright red. It is USB rechargeable and waterproof, and offers 10 different vibration settings (3 constant speeds and 4 patterns.)

The Surreal works with an app, the bafflingly-named “Monster Party” which – as far as I can tell – appears to be a generic “interactive platform with adults” that connects up with various different sex toys.

What I Liked About the Surreal

Let’s start by talking about what I liked about the Tracy’s Dog Surreal – which, despite some issues I had with it that we’ll cover in the next section, is actually quite a lot!

The silicone is soft and the basic construction of the toy appears to be solid.
The lipstick design is cute and the bright red colour is vibrant and attractive.
It arrived attractively packaged in a sturdy box with a magnetic fastener and no single-use plastic.
I really like the shape. The broad shaft, flat end, and pinpoint tip of the lipstick design allow for different types of stimulation depending on what you enjoy and what you’re in the mood for.
The broad base makes it comfortable to hold and use, and its petite size and light weight will make it easy and manageable for most users.
The button is large, well-placed, and easy to press.
It comes with a plastic case that slides over the toy like the top part of a lipstick tube. This is great for travel and for keeping the toy hygienic in storage, preventing it from picking up dust and lint if it’s sitting in a drawer for a while. Honestly, if you prefer a more rigid surface to your toys and don’t mind the extra little bit of dampening to the vibrations, you can even use it with the plastic cover on.

Surreal lipstick vibrator for Tracy's Dog review

In theory (more on that in a minute) it has app-control functionalities. This means you can hand over control to a partner from anywhere in the world.
Being waterproof makes it bath/shower friendly as well as super easy to clean. Being waterproof seems to be becoming more and more of a standard in the sex toy industry. However, you don’t always see it on toys at this price-point so it’s a nice extra.
It retails for a budget-friendly £37.27 at the time of writing, which is incredibly affordable for an app-controlled toy.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Unfortunately, there were also a few problems I had with this toy.

Perhaps most worryingly, I could not get my toy to connect with the app at all. (Given that the app has less than two stars in the app store reviews, I can’t say I’m entirely surprised!) I followed the instructions, but nothing happened. I switched it off and back on again, and still nothing happened.

In practice, I actually use sex toy apps very rarely. I’m glad they exist, but I mostly just use them to review products then forget I have them. But if you’re specifically looking for an app-controlled toy – and considering this is one of the major selling points of this product – it’s pretty bad.

My other significant complaint about the Tracy’s Dog Surreal is that its vibrations are just… okay. They’re neither particularly strong nor particularly rumbly. I knew the moment that I switched it on and turned it up to the highest speed that it had little to no chance of giving me an orgasm.

Finally, it has one of those one-button interfaces that always annoy me so much.

Tracy’s Dog Review: Surreal Verdict

This toy is about what I would expect for the price. It’s broadly fine, but it’s nothing to write home about. Honestly, even at this price point, there are better toys available. If you want the app functionality on a budget, and don’t need particularly strong vibrations, you might get on fine with it (if you can get the app to work! It’s possible, of course, that I was just unlucky with this but given the app’s rating I can’t believe I am the only one having this problem.)

Woman's hand holding Tracy's Dog lipstick vibrator

Despite the negatives I’ve pointed out, the Tracy’s Dog Surreal is a body-safe and easy to use offering. It might suit those who are newer to exploring toys, are looking for something cute and non-threatening in appearance, or prefer low-strength to mid-strength vibrations. It’ll be a great toy for some people, I just don’t think I’m one of them. As such, I will likely pass this one along so someone else can enjoy it.

Thanks to the company for sponsoring this Tracy’s Dog review. This means I was paid to write an honest account of my experience with the product. In addition, if you make a purchase through my links I will earn a small commission. All views are, as always, mine!

Lovehoney Advent Calendar 2024 review header: Day 1 (rechargeable bullet vibrator)

Lovehoney Advent Calendar 2024 Day #1: Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator

Published on October 9, 2024October 11, 2024 by Amy

It’s that time of year again when I do a day-by-day unboxing of the Lovehoney Advent Calendar for couples! Lovehoney UK is offering three advent calendars this year: a 12-day version and a 24-day version in partnership with Womanizer, as well as the Amorana Deluxe 24-day calendar which contains over £1100 worth of products. In the US, the 24-day version is the only one currently available.

I received the Lovehoney x Womanizer 24-day advent calendar. Straight away, I will say that I like the presentation of this calendar much more than previous iterations. The products are packaged in little individually labelled cardboard boxes in festive red and gold, rather than the tear-off doors that start to look a little scruffy when you’re a few days in. There’s also no plastic inner tray, cutting down on single-use plastic to make the whole thing more eco-friendly.

For the next 24 days, I’ll open one door each day and tell you a little about the item inside in a mini review with product info, pros and cons.

Without further ado, let’s dive into Day 1, shall we?

Lovehoney Advent Calendar 2024 Day #1: Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator

Like previous iterations of the Lovehoney Advent Calendar, this one begins with a rechargeable bullet vibrator. This time, it’s a pretty rose gold colour with black button and Lovehoney insignia.

Lovehoney Adult Advent Calendar 2024 rechargeable bullet vibrator

Product Info

Material: ABS plastic with silicone button
Colour: Rose gold
Body safe? Yes, ABS plastic is non-toxic and non-porous
Waterproof: Yes, IPX-7 waterproof (submersible)
Size: 3″ length
Speeds/patterns: 3 speeds and 7 patterns
Lube-compatible: Any kind of lube is suitable
Cleaning: Sterile wipe or warm water and antibacterial soap
RRP if bought as a single item: £24.99

Pros

Light and compact – ideal for sliding between bodies during partnered sex or throwing into your bag for a sexy date
Surprisingly decent level of power for its size and price-point, and the hard plastic transmits the vibrations well
Versatile – designed for clits but great for penises, balls, nipples, and all kinds of other erogenous zones too (don’t use it anally, though, as it doesn’t have a suitable base)

Cons

Unlike many Lovehoney toys, it does not arrive with any charge so you’ll need to plug it in before you use it. This can ruin the mood if you’re aiming for an “unbox and use straight away” vibe.
A little more buzzy than I would prefer
Single button interface is kind of annoying when there are so many settings

Verdict

Lovehoney Adult Advent Calendar 2024 bullet vibrator

Once again, a solid basic bullet vibrator to kick things off. I would prefer it to be a bit more rumbly, but for the size and price-point it’s decent.

The Lovehoney Advent Calendar 2024 (24 Day) retails for £149 at Lovehoney UK and $199 at Lovehoney US, and contains £457/$530 worth of products! Move fast if you want one – these usually sell out by mid November.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 24 day Lovehoney x Womanizer Sex Toy Advent Calendar to review. All views are mine (with occasional input from Mr C&K!) Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header image for Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibe review

[Toy Review] Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibe

Published on September 4, 2024September 4, 2024 by Amy

I don’t even know how many bullet vibrators I’ve tried at this point. They’re one of the most ubiquitous and popular sex toy models of all, and there must be thousands of variations on this theme on the market. Really good bullets, though? They’re much rarer. One such toy landed in my review queue this week, though. Let’s look at the Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibe.

What is the Vibeology Aeronaut?

Vibeology Aeronaut mini vibe black plastic bullet vibrator

The Vibeology Aeronaut is a bullet vibrator measuring 3.5″ in length and in the classic rounded-end shape. Its main body is made of ABS plastic, which is body-safe and non-porous as well as super easy to clean. The single button, located on the base, is made of silicone.

This toy is IPX7 waterproof, meaning it can be submerged in water for up to 30 minutes at a time. It is also USB rechargeable via the included magnetic cable. I got over an hour of use out of a full charge.

Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibe: Pros

Fundamentally, the Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibe is simply a damn good basic bullet vibrator. Its vibrations are surprisingly strong for its small size and low price-point, and also much more rumbly than I expected. Since plastic transmits vibrations well with minimal dampening, I can really feel them throughout my entire clit and vulva.

The shape allows for both broader stimulation with the long edge, or more targeting with the rounded end. I also appreciate this toy’s clicky, easy-to-press button and light weight.

Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibe: Cons

My only major complaint about the Vibeology Aeronaut is its single-button interface. I always prefer to be able to scroll both ways through patterns and speeds. The Aeronaut has 3 constant speeds and 7 patterns, so having to cycle through all of them is a bit annoying.

Vibeology Aeronaut mini vibe button close-up

One downside that is pretty consistent with bullet vibes is the transmission of vibrations into your hand. This tends to be more noticeable with plastic toys than silicone ones, and it is pretty strong with the Aeronaut. It doesn’t bother me that much for short stints of use, but if you have pain or nerve issues in your hands it’s something to be aware of.

Verdict

If you’re looking for a good quality basic bullet with strong vibrations, particularly if you’re on a budget, the Vibeology Aeronaut is a fantastic pick. Considering its low price-point, I’m genuinely impressed at just how good this toy is.

The Aeronaut Mini Vibe retails for a super budget-friendly £21/$19.99.

Thanks to Shevibe for sending me the Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibe to test and review. All views and writing are mine, as always. Affiliate links appear in this post and using them helps to keep the blog going!

Header image for tentacle toys grinder review from Uncover Creations

[Toy Review] Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder

Published on March 22, 2024March 14, 2024 by Amy

Tentacle toys, and fantasy sex toys in general, are a massive and hugely popular category. Readers are always asking me for recommendations and, until recently, I’ve been pretty stuck for what to suggest. I don’t share this particular kink, so I’ve never really sought out tentacle toys, alien toys, and so on for their own sake.

However, I’m now thrilled to have discovered the lovely folks at Uncover Creations and their fabulous all-silicone, body-safe, UK-made products. They were kind enough to send me three of their clit grinder toys to try. Today we’re looking at the third: the Tentacle Grinder.

(I suppose I should have probably reviewed the original Tentacle Grinder before the Tentacle Grinder II, but I loved the latter so much that I couldn’t wait to tell you all about it!)

Uncover Creations’ Tentacle Grinder

Tentacle Toys from Uncover Creations purple tentacle clit grinder

The Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder was one of the company’s first forays into tentacle toys and it seems to be standing the test of time for good reason! This clitoral grinder is a swirly mass of coiled tentacles, each lined with dozens of little suckers. I’m hugely impressed with the intricacy and detail of this toy. If you’re into tentacles for their own sake, you’ll love the fluid, almost moving sense you get from this toy’s aesthetic.

My Tentacle Grinder is a lovely lilac colour – looking at the colour guide, I think it’s the one called “Denim.” You can choose from a range of colourways including single colour, fade, and marble effects, or you can save a little money on your order by letting the company choose and surprise you.

The Tentacle Grinder is made of body-safe matte silicone. If you prefer things extra smooth, you can get the “Silky Smooth” upgrade which uses a special additive made from Durian tree nuts. There are other customisation options, too – you can add a hole for a bullet vibrator, add a vibrator to your order, or choose from different colours for your straps.

Back view of the Uncover Creations tentacle toys grinder

The toy measures 7″ in length, 4.9″ across, and 1.77″ in depth at the tallest point. It comes with a set of straps measuring 70cm (2.5 ft), allowing you to attach it to a surface, toy mount, or body part if you want to. Though, since it weighs in at a chunky 440g, it will stay in place on any flat surface without the need for the straps.

Tentacle Grinder In Use

The Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder is texture for days. The curves of the various tendrils, plus all the little suckers, means I get so much stimulation that it’s almost overwhelming in the best possible way. Given all that texturing, though, you’ll really need lots of lube to get the best experience from this one.

Since it’s relatively large and wide, you can get incredible all-over vulva stimulation from this toy. The stimulation is also continuous and constant. No matter how you move against it, at least one of the tentacles and all its suckers will be in contact with your clit at all times.

As with the other Uncover Creations tentacle toys I’ve tried, the height of this grinder is one of its main and best selling points. Its relatively tall design makes it so easy to get into a comfortable position and grind against it, even while lying down.

The firmness is excellent, too. Though the company calls this blend of silicone “super soft”, there’s still plenty of firmness and substance to grind against. If you prefer your toys much firmer, you can always ask for a custom toy in the “medium” blend.

Tentacle grinder from Uncover Creations in purple

The only downside to this toy is that it’s a bit of a nightmare to clean. Bodily fluids and lube can get stuck between the various tentacles and in all the little folds. I recommend boil-sterilising it regularly to make sure you’ve got it really clean as well as washing it thoroughly between uses.

Tentacle Toys + Vibrations

My Uncover Creations grinders came with the premium bullet option, which is the Nu Sensuelle Bullet Point. This surprisingly excellent and powerful bullet (which costs just £35 to add to your order) is waterproof, rechargeable, and offers 10 constant speeds and 10 vibration patterns.

You can also use your own favourite bullet vibrator with your grinder if you prefer, of course. Whatever you use, though, lube it up before you insert it into your grinder. Trust me, you don’t want to be trying to get it out afterwards without lube.

Nu Sensuelle bullet point bullet vibrator

Like the Tentacle Grinder II, the original Tentacle Grinder doesn’t really need the bullet. It’s just so excellent on its own. Even so, sometimes it’s nice to mix things up and if you want a little extra stimulation or something a bit different, the bullet is a nice addition. The thickness of the silicone on this one does dampen the vibrations a bit, making them slightly buzzy. Still, combined with the texture of the grinder, they’re more than enough for me.

Verdict

I love the Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder. When I want intensity from a grind toy, this is the one I reach for. If you like a lot of texture, this is the toy for you.

The basic Tentacle Grinder with black straps in a random colour retails at £60. Optional extras such as custom toy or strap colours, the vibrating bullet hole, a vibrator, and the “silky smooth” finish add to the cost.

Thanks to Uncover Creations for sending me three of their tentacle toys to review. All views are, as ever, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Synstyl clit grinder review header image

[Toy Review] Uncover Creations Synstyl Grinder

Published on March 18, 2024April 2, 2024 by Amy

The grinder toy market has exploded in the last couple of years, with numerous manufacturers bringing out their own versions. These textured toys are designed primarily for people with a clitoris, though they can of course be used by anyone. The idea is that you grind against them and the friction plus the texture provides stimulation.

If you’ve been reading my reviews for a while, you’ll know that I’m pretty obsessed with grinders. Today I’m reviewing the second of the three grinder toys that Uncover Creations recently sent me: the Synstyl Grinder.

Uncover Creations is a small UK-based business founded by two friends and focusing on providing body-safe pleasure products, mostly in the fantasy toys genre.

Synstyl: A Grinder Toy with Serious Texture

Uncover Creations Synstyl clit grinder toy

The Synstyl Grinder, like all of Uncover Creations’ products, is made of 100% body-safe silicone. It comes with a set of straps measuring 70cm (2.5ft). You can use these to attach it to a surface, body part, toy mount, or whatever you care to grind against!

It measures 6.7″ in length, 5.1″ in width, and around 1.5″ in height at the tallest point. This relatively tall design is a major advantage – it makes it so much easier to grind against the toy from a comfortable position, such as lying down.

This toy’s design is inspired by a flower, though to me it really looks like a vulva! It’s perhaps the most intricately textured toy I’ve ever tried. The Synstyl Grinder is undoubtedly beautiful. Even the base is decorated with similar texturing, which isn’t necessary from a sensation perspective but makes the toy even more gorgeous.

You can order all Uncover Creations grinders in a vast array of colours and combinations. I think mine is “Kingfisher”, based on the colour guide, which is a lovely vibrant shade of blue. You can choose your own colour or ask the company to surprise you, and you can choose between a solid colour, a marbling effect, or a fade of two colours.

The customisation options don’t stop there, either! You can choose to include a hole in the back of your grinder for a vibrating bullet, and even purchase a basic or premium bullet vibe with it if you like. You can change the colour of your toy’s straps from basic black to one of four other options. And if you prefer things extra-smooth, there’s a “Silky Smooth” additive derived from Durian tree nuts that can be added to your toy. In other words, you can craft your ideal custom grinder.

The Synstyl Grinder In Use

When I first looked at my three Uncover Creations grinders, I thought the Synstyl would likely feel the most intense due to all the little flaps, curves and ridges. Imagine my surprise, then, when it actually turned out to be the least intense of the three!

Snystyl clit grinder toy from Uncover Creations

The Synstyl Grinder’s silicone is extremely soft and, for me, almost too yielding. I kept finding myself wanting more pressure from it. All those little petal-like folds were just a little too flexible. Uncover Creations do offer their grinder toys in medium firmness as well as the standard “super soft”, and I feel like that might have been a better option for me for this one.

Don’t get me wrong, the Synstyl Grinder still feels great in use. It’s just not quite enough for me from a pressure and intensity perspective. I’ve found that I tend to reach for it when I’m looking for a warmup toy, though it doesn’t usually make me orgasm by itself unless I’m having an extremely sensitive day.

After a couple of tests of the Synstyl Grinder by itself, I thought it was time to try it with the included bullet vibrator.

Synstyl Grinder + Bullet Vibrator

My grinders came with the premium bullet vibrator option, which happens to be the Nu Sensuelle Bullet Point. This excellent basic bullet vibrator is made of ABS plastic, which transmits vibrations well even through a thick silicone grinder toy like the Synstyl Grinder. It has 10 constant speeds and 10 patterns, a single button interface, and surprisingly rumbly and strong vibrations for its £35 price-point. I do wish it had a remote control, though. It’s pretty difficult to change the settings manually without completely dismounting when you’re riding the toy!

Back view of the Uncover Creations Synstyl Grinder

Of course, if you already have a favourite bullet vibrator you can use that with your grinder instead! Whatever you choose, though, use some lube to insert the vibrator into the grinder. Otherwise it will be difficult to get in and even more difficult to get out (ask me how I know.)

When I tried the Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II, I commented that it really didn’t need the bullet vibrator. The Synstyl Grinder, on the other hand, does – at least for me. I tend to prefer more intensity, and the grinder plus vibrator gives me what the grinder on its own lacks. On its higher settings, the vibrator makes the toy’s petals sort of quiver and flicker, which feels amazing.

Verdict

I like the Synstyl Grinder, even though it’s less intense than I expected it to be. This one really comes into its own when you add the vibrator, so I recommend doing so if you can. If you’re looking for a softer and slightly less intense grinder toy, the Synstyl Grinder might be perfect for you.

The basic Synstyl Grinder with black straps retails for £60. That price goes up as you add various customisation options.

Thanks to Uncover Creations for sending me samples of several of their grinders to try. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views are, as always, my own.

Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II review header

[Toy Review] Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II

Published on March 8, 2024March 14, 2024 by Amy

Readers are constantly asking me for recommendations for good fantasy sex toys. And I’m often stuck for what to recommend, because tentacles and aliens and monsters and things just aren’t really my kink. You know what is my kink, though? Quality and body-safe sex toys made and sold by small businesses. (Also grinders. I fucking love grinders.) Enter Uncover Creations, who recently sent me their Tentacle Grinder II (as well as two other products – reviews coming soon!) to test for you all.

Uncover Creations is a small business based in the UK and started by two friends who were sick of seeing the same boring, repetitive sex toy designs again and again. All their toys are made from high-quality, body-safe silicone and hand poured to order in a huge range of colours and styles. To say I was excited to try out their stuff would be an understatement!

Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II

Even though I don’t actually have a tentacle kink, I’ll say this for the Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II: it’s a beautiful looking toy. There’s a central raised and textured tentacle with two rows of “suckers” that tapers to a tongue-like point. The base of the toy is also decorated with swirly patterns and aquatic motifs.

It comes with a set of straps that you can use to attach the toy to a pillow, toy mount, partner’s leg, or any other suitable surface you can think of. The straps measure around 70cm or 2.5ft and are removeable for convenience when you’re not using them.

My Tentacle Grinder II is a gorgeous shade of turquoise. I think it’s “Strong Mint,” based on the colour guide. You can choose a solid colour, a fade of two colours, or a marbling effect. You can also allow the company to surprise you with one colour or a blend.

Optionally, you can choose for your Tentacle Grinder II to have a hole in the back where you can insert a bullet vibrator. There’s also an option to add a “Silky Smooth” upgrade, which is a finish made from durian tree nuts. I chose not to go for this because my vulva is pretty sensitive and I wasn’t sure this additive would agree with me.

Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II fantasy sex toy from the back

The Tentacle Grinder II measures 7.5″ in length and 5.5″ in width. The central tentacle is raised by 1.77″ at the highest point. It weighs in at a hefty 440g but, since this isn’t (typically) a toy you have to hold in your hand during use, its weight won’t be a problem for most people.

In Use

I knew I was going to love this toy the moment I looked at it. It’s got so many things I like: a raised section, soft and squishy silicone, and plenty of texturing.

Here’s what I didn’t expect: it is by far the closest a sex toy has ever come to mimicking cunnilingus for me. No, I didn’t see that coming either!

I thought that the highest point in the middle of the tentacle was going to be my favourite part of this toy. However, I soon realised that if I grind against it just right, the tongue-like tip of the tentacle flicks back and forth over my clit like… well, like a tongue. With plenty of lube, it’s a surprisingly good approximation of cunnilingus.

Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II from fantasy sex toys range

The orgasms I have from this toy are less like the orgasms I have from other grinders and more like the orgasms I have from a partner going down on me.

I always thought that, if a toy ever did actually get close to feeling like receiving oral sex, it would be a suction toy. Many claim to do this, though none have yet succeeded. I did not expect that it would be a grinder shaped like a tentacle. But there you have it – if I want something that kinda feels like a partner going down on me and I don’t have a willing partner available, this is what I’m reaching for.

The other great selling point of the Tentacle Grinder II is its height. With some lower grinders, I’ve found myself struggling to get into the right position or having to use a pillow or mount to bring the toy closer to my body. No such problems here. I can simply place it under me in a lying position and grind against it comfortably.

Tentacle Grinder II + Bullet Vibrator

Confession: the first couple of times I used this toy, I completely forgot to try it with the bullet vibrator. That’s because it is so damn good even without it. Still, I thought I’d better test it both with and without the vibrator to give you all the fullest possible review.

I opted for the premium bullet option, which is the Nu Sensuelle Bullet Point. This plastic bullet is waterproof, rechargeable, and has 10 constant speeds and 10 patterns. For its price-point (it costs just £35 to add one of these to your Uncover Creations order), this is a shockingly good bullet vibrator. It’s powerful and surprisingly rumbly! Of course, you can also use any bullet vibrator you already own, if you prefer.

I wasn’t sure how well the Tentacle Grinder II would transmit the bullet’s vibrations given the thickness of its silicone. But it actually does so incredibly well and I can still get plenty of sensation from the bullet even through the thickest part of the grinder.

It is a shame the bullet isn’t a remote control one, because having to manually change the settings when you’re riding the toy can be quite annoying and fiddly. It also has one of those annoying one-button interfaces.

Overall, I’m glad I got the bullet with my Tentacle Grinder II as it provides some different stimulation options. But it’s also not strictly necessary because this toy performs so damn well on its own. Since I got it, I’ve used the vibrator less than half the times I’ve used the grinder.

Pro tip: make your life much easier by applying a bit of lube to the bullet before you insert it into the grinder. Trust me, it’ll go in and come out so much more quickly and easily if you do.

Verdict

At this point it doesn’t even matter that I’m not into tentacles for their own sake. Because I am so, so, so into this thing specifically! I do not say this lightly, because I have reviewed around 200 toys at this point and tried hundreds more: the Tentacle Grinder II is one of the best sex toys I have ever tried.

The basic Tentacle Grinder II begins at £60 and comes with a set of black straps. Optional customisations such as custom colours, different strap options, a vibrating bullet hole, an included vibrator, and the “silky smooth finish” come with additional costs.

Thanks to Uncover Creations for sending me the Tentacle Grinder II to review. Affiliate links appear in this post and all reviews are, as always, my own.

Promescent review header for rabbit vibrator and bullet vibrator review

[Toy Review] Promescent Rabbit Vibrator & Bullet Vibrator

Published on January 20, 2024July 5, 2024 by Amy

If you’ve been around for a while, you might remember my last Promescent review from almost three years ago where I introduced you to their collection of lubes. Well, this company has now released a bunch of new products since then and their team were kind enough to send me two of them, so I think it’s time for another Promescent review, don’t you?

Today I’m looking at Promescent’s two new sex toys for vulva owners: a rabbit vibrator and a bullet vibrator. This new range also includes a cock ring.

Promescent review: Rabbit vibrator (left) and bullet vibrator on a grey blanket

Promescent Rabbit Vibrator

The Promescent Rabbit Vibrator looked promising to me straight away, and I’m saying that as someone who is very picky about rabbit vibrators and doesn’t get much out of most of them. The flexible, curved clitoral stimulator, in particular, caught my eye.

This toy measures 8″ in total length, 4″ in insertable length. Its slim shaft is 1.2″ in diameter at the widest point. It is made of 100% body-safe silicone in a lovely, rich shade of blue/purple (fun fact: a very similar colour to my hair!) The material, it has to be said, is absolutely lovely. It’s ultra-soft and feels gorgeous to the touch.

Promescent rabbit vibrator in a woman's hand

The Promescent Rabbit Vibrator is waterproof, USB-rechargeable, and comes with a drawstring storage bag. You’ll get around 2 hours running time from a 2 hour charge.

In Use: Pros & Cons

Let’s start with the good and talk about what I liked about this toy.

Its shape is excellent. The insertable portion has a gentle curve and a pronounced tip which is ideal for G-spot stimulation.
The flexibility is a huge perk for a rabbit toy like this. It makes it comfortable to insert and easy to move around to get the best possible angle. Since all bodies are different, this will make the Promescent Rabbit accessible to far more users.
The clitoral arm is curvy and flexible enough that it actually stays in contact with my clit when I thrust with the toy or change positions! This is rare in rabbit vibrators, and I love it.
The buttons are easy to press and the controls are simple, intuitive, and responsive. Plus and minus buttons allowing you to switch between settings in both directions are a big advantage.
The button placement is sensible and comfortable to use.
It has three patterns and a constant vibration setting, all of which you can use on three different speeds. (That’s 12 settings in total.)
It’s pretty quiet.

Promescent rabbit vibrator buttons close up

So with all those good things said, was there anything I didn’t like?

When I turned the Promescent Rabbit Vibrator on, the intensity of the vibrations felt promising. Unfortunately, in use, they felt weaker than I expected them to, particularly in the clitoral stimulator. Companies continually design rabbit vibrators with the stronger motor in the internal section and, given that the overwhelming majority of people with vulvas orgasm primarily from clitoral stimulation, this is going to be the wrong way around for the vast majority of users.
The vibrations are buzzier than I would ideally like.
The buttons are small and hard to see in anything but bright light. Larger or lit buttons would make the toy more accessible.
I would have preferred the ability to control the two motors independently. Many users, including me, don’t always like the same level of stimulation internally as externally.

The Promescent Rabbit Vibrator retails at $109.99.

Promescent Bullet Vibrator

The Promescent Bullet Vibrator is made of the same soft, silky, blue/purple silicone as the rabbit. It measures a petite 3.5″ in total length, about the same as a lipstick.

Promescent review: purple bullet vibrator in a woman's hand

It’s USB rechargeable, giving about 90 minutes of runtime for a 2 hour charge, and waterproof. You’ll find the charging cable and a drawstring storage bag in the box alongside the toy.

In Use: Pros & Cons

Once again, let’s start with the things I liked about the Promescent Bullet Vibrator.

The twist towards the base makes it so easy and comfortable to hold. This is such a simple but brilliant design feature!
Like the Rabbit, the Bullet’s silicone is super soft and silky.
The large button on the base is easy to locate and press, even in dark environments.
I really love the lipstick-style shape, which gives you the option of broad stimulation (using the side), pinpoint stimulation (using the edge), or a middle ground (using the flat top part.)
It has 9 settings, which are really the same three – constant vibrations and two patterns – on three different speed levels. That’s enough for variety, but not enough to get unwieldy with a one-button interface.
It’s powerful enough that I can usually cum with it unless I’m having a particularly low-sensitivity day.
It’s very quiet.

Anything I didn’t like about this one?

The only real complaint I can make about this toy is that I would have liked the motor to have a little more rumble. It’s reasonably powerful, but it’s also quite buzzy.
A two-button interface with up/down options would be a nice addition, but it’s not critical.

The Promescent Bullet Vibrator retails at $69.99.

Verdict

Overall these are two well-made and solidly designed toys! The bullet is the winner for me personally out of the two, though the Rabbit also has plenty to recommend it, particularly in terms of its physical shape and design. Both toys came attractively boxed and were delivered in discreet packaging. They’re reasonably priced for what they are, too.

Promescent also offers a 60-day guarantee. If any product doesn’t do it for you, you can return it within 60 days for a full refund.

This Promescent review was sponsored, meaning I received a fee to write an honest and unbiased review of these products. All views, as always, are mine.

Header for review of Godemiche Vibe Pads hump toys review

[Toy Review] Godemiche Vibe Pad “Waves” and “Tall Pyramids”

Published on December 15, 2023December 15, 2023 by Amy

This is the second installment of a two-part review series of Godemiche’s innovative new hump toys, the Vibe Pads. You can read part one here. I received these toys in four of the six available textures, and wanted to tell you a little about each texture as well as about the toys’ overall design.

Godemiche Vibe Pad hump toys with Rocks Off RO80 bullet vibrator

Vibe Pads: The New Generation of Hump Toys

Vibe Pads are the latest iteration of Godemiche’s line of grinding toys which began with the Grind Ring. Each Vibe Pad is a flat, rectangular piece of piece of silicone with a cylindrical raised area a few inches long in the middle. The raised part is covered in texturing and is hollow, and there’s a slit in the back where you can insert the included bullet vibrator. There is also an indent in the silicone where the vibrator button sits, allowing you to switch it on, off, or change settings without taking it out.

The idea is simple: grind your vulva and clitoris along the toy. Vibe Pads come with removeable straps so that you can attach them to something (a pillow, the arm of a sofa, your partner’s thigh…) if you want to.

You can customise your Vibe Pad with your choice of one or two colours from over 60 options, your choice of strap colour from 9 options, and shorter or longer straps. There are currently six textures available, though I expect more will be added in due course.

The Vibrator: RO80

The RO80 provided with your Vibe Pad is a small silver bullet vibrator with 7 settings: 3 speeds and 4 patterns. I’m not blown away by it as a vibrator – it’s not particularly powerful and it’s quite buzzy. However, I mind this less than I expected to in this context. Because the vibrations are an addition to an already-excellent toy, rather than being the main event.

As I said in yesterday’s post, the vibrations are more effective with Vibe Pads that have more raised designs rather than flatter ones because they cause the raised areas to sort of flutter.

Of course, you do have the option to use the bullet vibrator of your choice instead. However, that could be more fiddly because the button(s) likely won’t be in the right place.

With that said, let’s take a closer look at the remaining two textures.

“Waves” Vibe Pad

If you remember way back when I reviewed the original Grind Ring range, you may recall that the Waves was my favourite. The silicone ripples are very soft and flexible, and close enough together to provide constant clitoral contact as I grind against it.

It’s a bit like having your clit licked by lots and lots of little silicone tongues. It’s also an ultra smooth sensation compared to many of the other textures. I like this one best when I grind down really hard against it.

“Tall Pyramids” Vibe Pad

The Tall Pyramids texture is a variation on the “Spikes” (part of the original Grind Ring range and also available on other hump toys including the Grind Pads and Vibe Pads.) At first glance, it looks a little scary. Who wants sharp-looking pointy things near their vulva!?

However, when you touch the tall pyramids you’ll realise that they are actually very soft and flexible. Depending on how hard you grind against the toy, you can get anything from a very gentle tickle up to quite an intense rubbing sensation. The pyramids glide around your vulva and flick over your clit, stimulating you all over at once.

Verdict

I am, once again, totally obsessed with these toys and ready to evangelise about them to anyone who will listen! These two are definitely my favourite textures of the four, with the Waves coming out overall top by just a hair.

Vibe Pads start from £59.99. If you want to save money, choose “surprise me” to get a random colour. Custom colours, strap lengths, strap colours, and lube all cost a little extra. You can also get a bargain price on a bundle of 3 textures in the same colour for £134.99.

Thanks to Godemiche for sending me the Vibe Pads to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as always, are mine.

[Toy Review] Godemiche Vibe Pad “Jelly Bean” and “Ridges”

Published on December 14, 2023 by Amy

Since they first revolutionised my masturbation habits with their Grind Rings over two years ago, Godemiche have been adding more and more products to their range of grinding toys. The latest is the Vibe Pad, which I’m going to review in two batches of two since I received them in four different textures.

What is a Vibe Pad?

Godemiche Vibe Pads in "Jelly Bean" and "Ridges" textures

A Vibe Pad is a flat, flexible, rectangular piece of silicone with a cylindrical raised area a few inches long in the middle. This part is covered in texturing to stimulate the vulva and clitoris when you grind against it. The raised part of each Vibe Pad is hollow, with space for a bullet vibrator that can be put in or removed via the slit in the back of the toy.

Vibe Pads also come with removable straps so you can attach them to a surface or body part (thighs work particularly well, #askmehowIknow!) if you want to.

Each Vibe Pad is totally customisable. You can choose one or two colours from over 60 choices, and choose the colour and length of your straps, as well as obviously selecting the texture you want.

At the time of writing, Vibe Pads are available in 6 different textures. Today we’re looking at two of them. Watch this space, though, as I strongly suspect more will be added to the range in due course.

“Jelly Bean” Vibe Pad

This texture is my least favourite of the four that I received. Even so, the fact that I still quite like it should tell you everything you need to know about how I feel about this range overall.

Jelly Beans is the gentlest of the four textures I’ve tried. As you grind, each of the little beans laps slightly against your… no, I’m not making that joke. It’s too obvious and I am ashamed of myself for even thinking it.

Godemiche Vibe Pad in "Jelly Bean" texture

This one definitely works best with the vibrations, which cause each of the little beans to flicker very slightly. I’m actually wondering, though, whether the Jelly Beans texture would work better if the beans lay horizontally rather than vertically. With them positioned vertically, a lot of that lovely “flicking” sensation is lost because you’re grinding with the texture rather than against it.

I enjoy using the Jelly Beans Vibe Pad as a warm-up toy. Overall, though, I find this one slightly too gentle and I haven’t been reaching for it anywhere near as much as the others. This would be a good one to start with if you’re new to hump toys or just prefer a less intense type of stimulation.

“Ridges” Vibe Pad

The Ridges texture is a bit like a slight variation of the “Waves”, which you’ll recall was my favourite from the original batch of Grind Ring textures, so I knew straight away that I was probably going to like this one.

The Ridges are perhaps more intense than the Waves if anything, as the tops of them are slightly firmer and they don’t move quite as smoothly. If you enjoyed the Waves texture, this is a great step up. You’ll really need adequate lubrication for this one, though. I like to add a little to the surface of the toy before I start, regardless of how wet I am.

The great thing about this texture is that the ridges are close enough together that, as you grind, you get a pretty much constant rubbing sensation along your vulva and clit. Of the new batch, this is the one that can most reliably make me cum.

Let’s Talk About the Vibrator

Your Vibe Pad comes with a vibrator included: the RO80 bullet by Rocks Off. This battery-operated mini vibe has a single-button interface and 7 different settings including 3 constant speeds and 4 patterns.

The Vibe Pads are cleverly designed with a “button” cut into the silicone right where the vibrator’s button sits. This means that you can turn it on, off, or change the setting during use without having to take the vibrator out. This is an excellent touch.

Used by itself, I don’t think I would find the RO80 anything particularly special. It’s not terrible, but it’s fairly buzzy and not that powerful. It’s definitely an enhancement to the Vibe Pad’s main function as a grinding toy rather than the main event.

You know what, though? That’s fine. These toys stand up so well on their own that I can happily use them with or without the vibrations.

The design of the Vibe Pad is such that the vibrations dissipate all the way across my vulva. In my experience, they definitely work best with the more “raised” designs than the flatter ones, as they make everything sort of quiver slightly. Try the “Spikes” with the vibe and thank me later!

Your other option, of course, is to use any bullet vibrator you prefer that fits within the slot. However, this will make operating it more fiddly unless your vibe of choice also happens to have a single button in exactly the same place.

Verdict

Is anyone surprised that I absolutely love these toys? They’re a great evolution of the Grind Ring concept and I’m already a bit obsessed.

Vibe Pads start from £59.99 for a random colour, with optional extras including custom colours, strap lengths, strap colours, and lube available at an additional cost. You can also save by getting a bundle of 3 textures in the same colour for £134.99.

Thanks to Godemiche for sending me the Vibe Pads to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as always, are mine.

[Toy Review] Love Not War Maya

Published on July 31, 2023November 1, 2023 by Amy

Variations on the trusty bullet vibrator are a dime a dozen these days. This simple and classic design is popular for a reason but, though countless retailers and manufacturers of sex toys have churned out their own version, good bullets are still not the easiest things to find.

There’s the market-leading We-Vibe Tango, of course. The £27 powerhouse from Blush that goes on every sex date with me because it gets me off so damn reliably. A few other decent options. But overall, there are a lot of weak and buzzy and just plain lacklustre bullet vibes out there, with price not always correlating to quality.

That’s why, when lovely sustainable sex toy brand Love Not War (purveyors of such excellent products as the Meile and Koi) reached out and asked me to write them a post for Orgasm Week, I immediately knew I wanted to try out the Maya bullet vibrator.

Love Not War Maya: Sustainably Sexy

Love Not War is a manufacturer dedicated to tackling the wastefulness of the mainstream sex toy industry and bringing more sustainable, planet-friendly alternatives to our bedrooms. All their products come with the same rechargeable battery base and heads you can purchase separately, meaning you only need one set of electronics to enjoy numerous different toys.

Love Not War use as few materials as possible, mostly FDA-grade silicone (with leftovers recycled or reused) and recycled aluminium. Even their packaging is eco-friendly, using natural brown card, soy ink, and environmentally friendly glue. And if something goes wrong, they’ll repair the toy if possible and recycle it if not. Pretty impressive, no? You can read more about Love Not War’s sustainability credentials here.

The Love Not War Maya is a bullet vibrator measuring 4.7″ in length and 0.88″ in diameter. It is made from aluminium which, yes, is a body-safe material! The metal gives it a nice weight (though much lighter than stainless steel, the other metal commonly used for sex toys.)

It is an attractive colour that is… not exactly rose gold, but that’s the closest thing I can think to compare it to. It’s stamped with the Love Not War logo. The brushed aluminium feels absolutely gorgeous in my hand, cool and sleek and smooth. It’s also perfect for temperature play. Just run it under warm or cold water before use (or pop it in the fridge for a few minutes.)

The Love Not War Maya is rechargeable (cable included), waterproof, and travel lockable. It comes with an included drawstring storage pouch, which is a nice extra.

In Use

The Love Not War Maya isn’t the smallest bullet vibrator in the world, so if a very petite size is important to you then you might want to look elsewhere. Due to its slightly larger size, though, I actually find it easier to hold and operate than many of its tinier counterparts.

The Maya’s single button is situated at its base. This button is easy to find with your finger and easy to press. Simply short-press to turn it on and to scroll through the ten settings, then long-press to turn it off. I don’t love a single-button interface, personally. Ten settings is a lot to scroll through to find the one you like! So that’s a little annoying.

It is, however, pretty much the only significant complaint I can make about this overall excellent toy. The Maya’s gently tapering tip is perfect for precision clitoral stimulation, while its body is wide enough for a satisfying all-over buzz if I lay it flat against my vulva. It’s unobstrusive enough to slide between bodies during penetrative sex, if that’s your thing.

Best of all, the Maya is powerful. Its vibrations don’t quite meet my definition of truly rumbly, but they are also far from buzzy. Its power rivals many vibrators that are both far bigger and more expensive. There are four constant vibration settings (the highest is absolutely dreamy) as well as six patterns to choose from. The Maya is also quiet enough to be non-distracting and discreet.

Verdict

I love this vibrator! The Maya is sleek, sexy, sustainable, and powerful. It’s easy to use and, while not the smallest, still easy to throw in my bag for a date night or weekend away. It’s going right on the list of the best bullet vibrators I have ever tried.

The Love Not War Maya retails for £69.99 but LNW are currently offering 40% off for Orgasm Week while stocks last!

Thanks to Love Not War for sending me this item to review. All opinions are, as ever, my own. This post contains affiliate links.