[Toy Review] Womanizer Starlet

People often ask me which clitoral suction toy they should start with if they’ve never tried one before and aren’t sure if they will like it. Well, you could do a lot worse than the Womanizer Starlet!

Hey, did you know it’s Masturbation Month? I’m partnering with Lovehoney to bring you sexy content and reviews, of which this is one. Let’s dive in…

The Womanizer you know and love, but in miniature

The Womanizer Starlet is part of Womanizer’s range of PleasureAir stimulators. These toys stimulate the clitoris via gentle suction and rapid pulses of air. There are quite a number of toys in the Womanizer range at this point, but the Starlet (not to be confused with the Starlet 2) is by far the smallest.

The Womanizer Starlet Clitoral Stimulator

In fact, the Starlet is only 3.5 inches in total length. Yes, that’s the whole toy!

The Womanizer Starlet is USB rechargeable (cable included). You only get around 30 minutes’ run time on a full charge, so that will be a downside for those who like their masturbation sessions to last longer. This is a significantly shorter battery life than other toys in the range. It is also splashproof, rather than waterproof.

Finally, the Starlet has only 4 speed settings (some Womanizer products have as many as 12, plus separate vibrating functions.)

In other words, the Womanizer Starlet is a pared-down and simplified version of the company’s signature toy in more ways than just size.

But how did it measure up in use?

Smaller in size, no less satisfying!

I was enamoured with the Womanizer Starlet straight away. The beauty of this pared-down version is it just fulfils its purpose, and does it well, without any gimmicks or unnecessary extras.

The Womanizer Starlet Clitoral Stimulator

The four power settings are more than enough to provide a good range of sensation, and the highest setting is no less powerful than that of the higher-priced Womanizer toys. I actually appreciated only having 4 settings to scroll through to find the one I liked, rather than having to click through 8 or 10 or 12. Toy manufacturers take note: more isn’t always better!

I got off quickly and easily with the Womanizer Starlet. There’s a reason these products are so popular – they feel amazing. (They do not, however, feel like oral sex and I will die on this hill.) This little beauty gives me clutching-at-the-sheets, trying-not-to-wake-the-neighbours orgasms.

User-friendly and intuitive

The Starlet is, perhaps unsurprisingly, very light. This makes it accessible for those who struggle to hold or manipulate heavier or bulkier toys. I found it comfortable to hold in my smaller-than-average hand.

It’s also well shaped – the suction nozzle sticks out far enough from the main body of the toy that it’s easy to angle and hold in place. This is a big deal as too many suction toys are really poorly designed in this regard, meaning you need to hold them really awkwardly to get them to properly make contact with the clit.

The Womanizer Starlet Clitoral Stimulator

The Starlet’s single button interface, located at the base of the body, couldn’t be simpler to use. The button is easy to press, and large enough to feel for and push with your fingers without needing to look. I’m not even going to complain about the lack of up and down controls. Honestly with just four settings they’re not necessary.

Care and Safety

The Womanizer Starlet, like all products in the Womanizer range, features a silicone nozzle. The body is hard ABS plastic, making the entire toy completely body-safe.

As this toy is not waterproof, you cannot submerge it to clean it. However, the nozzle is removable so you can sterilise that separately in a 10% bleach solution or by boiling. You can also buy spare nozzles, which is useful if you want to share the toy with a partner.

As always. water-based lube is recommended. Pro tip: add lube to both the rim of the nozzle and directly to your clit before play.

So do I recommend it?

Small but mightly, I was really impressed with the Womanizer Starlet. Retailing for £69.99, it’s one of the most affordable entries to suction toys – perfect if you’re on a budget or just want to see if you even like the sensation!

It’s easy, intuitive and comfortable to use. I found the pleasure and sensations every bit as satisfying as those provided by much larger and more expensive models. In fact, the only complaint I can find is the less than stellar battery life.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are, as ever, my own! Affiliate links feature in this post, and using them supports my work at no extra cost to you.

[Toy Review] Womanizer Starlet 2

Before we dive in: did you see I’ve revised my Patreon? There are new reward tiers, better perks, and more ways to get involved! Go check it out and maybe support me – every single dollar really does help.

Despite saying I was going to do substantially fewer product reviews, interesting things to try out keep finding their way to me! Remember when I said I’d been wanting to get my hands on a Womanizer toy for ages and hadn’t had the opportunity? Well, my cup runneth over, so to speak – as I have yet another new Womanizer product to tell you all about!

Suction Toys

I wrote recently about whether or not I think all suction-based clitoral stimulators are basically variations on the same theme. The conclusion I came to was… sort of. The sensation provided by these toys is remarkably consistent across models and even across brands. However, unique design features can really make or break each specific model. Read on to find out whether I thought the Starlet 2 was a hit or a miss.

A little more down-to-Earth…

After the high-end luxury with price tags to match that defines the Womanizer Premium and Duo, the Starlet 2 is a simpler product – more aimed at the everyday consumer, rather than at serious toy enthusiasts with serious money to spare. The Starlet 2 retails at the much more affordable £69.99 (that’s $79.99 to my American friends!) and is an upgrade of the original Starlet model.

It’s a petite toy, only 5 inches in total length, and very light. I have tiny hands and would have preferred the body of the toy to be slightly longer for ease of use, so bear that in mind if you’re a person with big hands. However, for those who find holding larger or heavier toys difficult, the compact nature of this model could be an advantage for you.

The Starlet 2 is USB rechargeable, requiring 30 minutes’ charge for 30 minutes’ playtime. I’m really not impressed with the battery life here. 30 minutes, for me, is often not even long enough to reach orgasm – and the same is true for a lot of people with vulvas. When other toys can do two or three hours on a full charge, this is a major negative in my view.

The Starlet 2 is also fully waterproof, if playing in the bath is your thing. It comes in two colours – a pinkish-orange called “coral”, and a deep blue.

Body-safety, care and cleaning

The Womanizer Starlet 2 sex toy in coral resting on a white sheet

The Womanizer Starlet 2 is made of hard ABS plastic with a silicone nozzle. Like all Womanizer products, this makes it completely body-safe.

The silicone nozzle is removable, so you can remove it and sterilise it in the usual ways – boiling water or a 10% bleach solution. You can also buy replacement nozzles, which are your best bet if you’re going to be sharing the toy with a partner, as it’s not really possible to use a suction toy with a barrier.

Pro tip: swirl a bit of water-based lube around the rim of the nozzle, and put some on your clit too. Lube makes everything better!

Controls & Settings

The Starlet 2 has four possible speeds. This is far fewer than the higher-end models: the Classic has 8 speeds, and the Premium has a massive 12.

The Womanizer Starlet 2 sex toy in coral on a white sheet

Honestly, I think for most people, 4 speeds is probably enough? They’re not as finely graded as they could be, true, but they allow for a steady increase in intensity. But I’m aware I am saying that as someone whose usual play-style with toys is “whack it on the top setting and leave it there.”

The controls are two simple buttons: On/Up and Off/Down. No complaints here – they’re sensibly located in the centre of the main body of the toy, and they’re easy to press. If anything, the Off/Down button could do with being a bit bigger – it’s smaller than the Up button and I see no good reason for this. Overall, though, I’ll give the Starlet 2 points for simple and sensible controls.

So was the Starlet 2 a rising star?

I had high hopes for this toy after my amazing experiences with the Premium and the Lovehoney/Womanizer Pro40. Unfortunately, it just really missed the mark for me in practice.

Due to the shape, and how little the nozzle sticks out from the body of the toy, I found it almost impossible to get the right angle against my body. I tried holding the toy in multiple different ways, but all of them either left a gap between part of the nozzle and my body (thus meaning my clit got much less stimulation) or required contorting my hand/arm in uncomfortable ways. A longer handle and a more pronounced nozzle would go a long way to mitigating this issue.

I also really noticed the relative lack of power at the higher settings, compared to other suction toys.

I tried this toy three times, and was not able to orgasm with it on any occasion.

So do I recommend it?

Unfortunately I don’t. I was hopeful about the Starlet 2, but it didn’t live up to expectations for me at all. It’s not egregiously bad or anything, but I was left unimpressed and I doubt I’ll use it again. I recommend splashing out another £30 if you can and getting the Womanizer/Lovehoney Pro40 instead, which is just so much better.

Thanks to Womanizer for sending me this product in exchange for an honest review. All views are my own and images are by me. Please use the affiliate links within this post if you want to make a purchase; commission helps to keep this site going!

[Toy Review] Womanizer x Lovehoney Pro40 Clitoral Stimulator

A quick PSA before we start: I’ve revamped my Patreon! There are new tiers (named after types of coffee because of course,) new rewards, and plans for lots of exciting content in the near future! Please check it out and support me if you can.

Many of you may remember from a a while back that I am a Womanizer convert! The Premium was just so damn good. So when I heard that Womanizer had teamed up with Lovehoney to produce a toy together, how could I resist giving the Pro40 a go?

The Womanizer Pro40 black and rose gold clitoral suction toy lying on a white bedsheet.

Are all suction-based simulators broadly the same?

I’ve been wondering this as I try more of them. And my answer is… sort of. All the air suction based clitoral toys I’ve tried have been, in many ways, remarkably similar. Each one has slightly different features, of course, and some certainly work better for my body than others. But if you like one you’ll probably like a lot of them, and if you hate the sensation of one then you’ll (probably) dislike most of them. They’ve certainly got better over the years (the first time I tried one I did not see what all the hype was about!)

But broadly speaking, one suction-based clitoral stimulator feels very similar to the next. Luckily, the sensation they provide is one that I absolutely love. My clit gets overstimulated easily with direct contact, so the gentle caressing sensation is perfect for me. These things, if I’m in the right headspace, can give me full body, clutching-at-the-sheets-and-trying-not-to-wake-the-neighbours orgasms.

With that said, how did the Womanizer x Lovehoney Pro40 stack up?

The Womanizer x Lovehoney Pro40 is a one-off collaboration between these two companies. It uses Womanizer’s signature Pleasure Air technology, which stimulates the clitoris via rapid pulses of air. These types of clitoral stimulators can be a godsend for those who find that vibrators often make them feel numb. (They do not, however, feel like oral sex! Whatever the hype says, I will die on this hill.)

The Womanizer Pro40 black and rose gold clitoral suction toy in my hand on the background of a white bedsheet.

I’ll be honest: a lot of the time I’ll try a suction toy, review it, and then shove it in a drawer and not bother with it again for months. I fucking love this one, though. I’ve been reaching for it again and again lately, long after all the necessary testing sessions for this review were complete. It’s just really, really good.

Important bits…

The Lovehoney/Womanizer Pro40 has an ABS plastic body and uses silicone nozzles. This makes it completely body-safe. The nozzles are also removable, which is convenient when it comes to cleaning. Just pull the nozzle off, sterilise it in boiling water or a 10% bleach solution, pop it back on and you’re good to go! You can also buy replacement heads , should you need to.

You can’t really use a barrier with a suction toy, so I suggest swapping out the heads between users if you’re sharing with a partner. As ever, water-based lube is recommended – I find swiping a bit of lube around the rim of the nozzle makes the whole experience feel so much better.

The Womanizer Pro40 black and rose gold clitoral suction toy lying on a white bedsheet.

The Pro40 is fully waterproof, and is rechargeable via the included USB cable. The battery life is great – I’ve had over 3 hours use out of a single charge.

Price and Aesthetics

The plastic body of the Lovehoney/Womanizer Pro40 is a pretty mix of black and rose-gold. (The latter of which seems to be VERY trendy for sex toys right now.) It comes packaged in Lovehoney’s distinctive style, with just a shade of Womanizer luxury thrown on top. This toy, and its packaging, lacks the high-end feel of some of Womanizer’s other recent products, but nontheless has a sleek, stylish vibe.

At £99.99, it’s far from a cheap toy, but is more wallet-friendly than the pricier Classic, and the eye-wateringly expensive Duo and Premium.

Ease of use

The Womanizer x Lovehoney Pro40 is around 6.5 inches long and pleasingly light to hold. Ergonomics-wise, this one is a huge win for me. I have found some suction-based toys cumbersome to hold or difficult to position, but this one feels comfortable in my small hand and fits against my body like a dream. It helps that the nozzle also sticks out a good distance from the body of the toy, making it much easier to angle it effectively against my clit.

The Womanizer Pro40 black and rose gold clitoral suction toy lying on a white bedsheet.

It also has easy, intuitive controls. There’s an on/off button, and +/- speed buttons and… that’s it. The buttons are easy to press, sensibly located on the main body of the toy, large enough, and well spaced out. The only thing that could improve the controls would be to have the +/- signs on the buttons raised, so that the user could easily feel which was which without having to look.

Settings & volume

The Lovehoney/Womanizer Pro40 has six levels of intensity. It also has – praise the sex toy gods – No Fucking Patterns!

This toy is pretty quiet on the lower levels, but does get quite loud when you turn it up to full power. Not as loud as a wand, but definitely louder than your average vibrator. So you’ll want to bear that in mind if discretion is important to you.

Overall, do I recommend it?

Yes. I adore this toy! I was so surprised by how good it was, and how well it stacked up against more expensive models. Fully endorsed with the C&K Stamp of Approval.

Thank you to Lovehoney for sending me this product in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are, as ever, my own. Affiliate links are used within this post and send a small commission my way if you make a purchase. Images are by me.

[Toy Review] Womanizer Duo

Did you know that some of my sex blogging work is funded through my wonderful patrons on Patreon? Joining me there now to get some cool perks. Now on to the review…

I am very, very picky when it comes to dual stimulation toys. (That is, toys that stimulate the clitoris and G-spot at the same time – rabbit vibes are the most classic example). Most of them simply don’t work that well for me. But just occasionally, one will come along that blows my expectations out of the water. Enter Womanizer Duo.

Double the Fun?

The Womanizer Duo in its box

Womanizer are a high-end sex toy brand with high-end prices to match. The absolute cheapest model, the Womanizer Starlet, will set you back £59.99. This model, their most expensive yet, retails for £179.99 (or $219 for my American friends!) Due to cost, I never bought a Womanizer product – I wasn’t willing to drop that kind of money on a toy that I wasn’t sure would work for me. But then Womanizer kindly sent me their new Premium model to review, and I was a total convert. So I jumped at the chance to try the Duo.

The Womanizer Duo is looks a bit like a classic rabbit vibrator, only instead of the rabbit “ears”, the smaller arm sports one of Womanizer’s patented Pleasure Air clitoral simulators.

The Womanizer Duo in its box

At 9 inches in length, this is a pretty hefty toy. However, the insertable length is a more manageable 5″ and the widest part is 1.4″ in diameter. The toy is fully waterproof, and rechargeable via USB. You get around 2 hours play for a 2 hour charge, so not a bad battery life. The Womanizer Duo comes in two colours, black or a lovely dark red they call “bordeaux” (fancy!) Both have a gold coloured accents at the base.

What’s in the box?

I’ll say this for Womanizer, they really go for it with the “luxury” feel to their toys. Even the packaging looks and feels expensive, stylishly designed with an image of billowing black fabric on the box. It kind of reminds me of the kind of packaging you get on high-end perfume!

Inside, you will find:

  • Your toy, of course
  • Two silicone heads for the clitoral stimulator, different sizes to suit different bodies
  • The magnetic charging cable
  • A useful satin storage bag, which is also super cute – it has a little mini flogger on the drawstring and a gold coloured Womanizer charm.
  • An instruction booklet in various languages
Accessories that come with the Womanizer Duo
The Womanizer Duo's storage pouch

Once you’ve taken this all out you’ll realise there’s a LOT of packaging to throw out, but at least it’s all recyclable!

Safety First

The Womanizer Duo is made of smooth silicone, which is super soft and luxurious to the touch as well as being phthalate-free, non-porous and body safe. Yay silicone! It is the greatest sex toy material, bar none, and this is the hill I will die on.

Clean your toy using gentle soap and warm water – as it’s waterproof, you can submerge it. You can also sterilise it more thoroughly with a sterile medical wipe or a 10% bleach solution.

If you’re sharing your toy, you can use a condom over the internal arm. I really, really like that Womanizer include changeable nozzles with their toys – not only does it make clean-up a breeze, it also means you can simply switch nozzles if different people are using the toy in a single session. You can also buy replacement nozzles if you happen to lose one or just think it’d be useful to have spares.

As ever, use a good quality water-based lube. Pro tip: as well as using lube on the internal arm, dab a bit on the nozzle of the clitoral stimulator.

Settings & Functions

A relevant piece of information about me when it comes to my experience with this toy: I do not like internal vibrations. At all. I find them uncomfortable, unpleasant and occasionally even painful. I am willing to concede that there may be an internal vibrator I like, but I haven’t found it yet. This is why I like dual-stim toys that have a thrusting mechanism or a “come hither” motion.

With that said, let’s have a look at the Womanizer Duo’s different settings.

The Womanizer Duo has six buttons in total. The on/off button is located at the base of the toy towards the back, just above the magnetic charging pins. The other five buttons are located on the front of the toy, below the clitoral stimulator. The top middle of these buttons changes the vibration pattern, then there are two pairs of buttons. The top set controls the vibrating internal arm, and the bottom set controls the clitoral stimulator, with “increase” and “decrease” options for each.

I won’t lie, the control mechanism takes a little getting used to, simply because there are six separate buttons and a lot going on. However, the buttons are easy to press and in an intuitive position: I hold the toy in my left hand and use my thumb to press the controls when I use it.

Remember what I said just now about not liking internal vibrations? Well, the saving grace of this product for me is the fact that the internal vibrator and the clitoral stimulator are controlled completely separately! This means the internal arm can fill me up and press against my G-spot (good!) while the clitoral stimulator works its magic, and I don’t have to deal with the unwanted vibrations!

The Womanizer Duo has 12 levels of intensity for each arm, and the internal vibrator has 10 different patterns as well. This means that hundreds of different combinations are possible and you can tailor your experience to exactly what you want.

This toy, like the Womanizer Premium, also has the very cool “smart silence” feature. This means that the toy will only switch on when it close contact with your body. In other words, if someone barges in on you, just lift the toy off your body and…. no sound! It also means there is zero chance of this toy accidentally switching itself on in your luggage.

How did I like it?

It took a bit of experimentation to get this toy to work for me. As I said, the controls are a little complex until you get the hang of it. But once I’d got that sorted and found a setting that worked for me… goddamn, I love this toy!

It is NOT a “get off very quickly then go to sleep” type of toy. This one is definitely a “slow and sensual build up” product. But sometimes that’s exactly what you want. Every single time I’ve used this toy, I’ve had a long, delicious build that has led to an incredible orgasm.

So do I recommend it?

Yes. But…

This toy is, let’s be honest, very expensive. Which is absolutely fine – I’m very pro luxury toys if you can afford the price tag. I wouldn’t suggest the Womanizer Duo as either your first dual stimulation toy or your first suction toy, for one simple reason: dual stim toys don’t work for everyone, and suction toys don’t work for everyone. So try cheaper versions of these types of products before you splash out nearly £200.

Try the Womanizer Starlet for a more affordable introduction to suction toys, and a Happy Rabbit to see if dual-stim toys are your jam.

But if you like suction, and you like dual stim, go for it – this lovely toy is the best of both worlds!

Thanks to Womanizer for providing me with this product to review. All views are, as always, my own. Shopping using my affiliate links helps me to keep doing this work by sending a small commission my way.

[Toy Review] Womanizer Premium

I’ve been wanting to get my hands on a Womanizer for SO long, you guys. I think I missed the buzz (heh) when they first launched as the first few models were already old news when I started my blog, so I was delighted to see that A) there are new models out, and B) Lovehoney were kind enough to provide me with one to review for you all.

Now, for those who don’t know, Womanizer were the first company to create clitoral suction toys of the kind that are now made by a whole host of companies. Many sex toy experts hold them up as the original and best, while others say they’re overpriced and the much more affordable Satisfyers do just as good a job. I’m not here to compare these toys today (though I will at some point) but felt that little bit of context was relevant.

Stats & Things

The Womanizer Premium on a wooden floor.The Womanizer Premium is the latest in Womanizer’s line of toys utilising what they call “Pleasure Air Technology”. Essentially, the nozzle creates a seal around the clitoris and the toy provides stimulation via rapid pulses of air.

This toy operates off a simple interface of 4 buttons. The bottom button just above the charging point switches the toy on and off; the one with a little wave pattern on it switches in and out of Auto Pilot mode; and the +/- buttons adjust the speeds. The buttons are easy to press, and well positioned to change the speed when in use without breaking your flow.

It’s USB rechargeable, completely waterproof, and ergonomically designed to fit comfortably in the user’s hand.

Premium Product, Premium Packaging… Premium Pricetag

The Womanizer Premium black box.The Womanizer Premium lives up to its name before you even take it out of the box. The packaging is elaborate and decorated in a style which makes me think of perfume or high-end make-up, with a clear section where you can see the toy. Included with the toy is the charging cable, a convenient storage bag, and two nozzles of different sizes (so you can swap them out depending on what suits your body).

The Womanizer Premium box openNow this toy screams luxury to me. The velvety soft premium silicone (available in three colours and, praise be to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, none of them are pink!) and subtle gold-coloured accents add to the luxurious feel.

This product does, though, come with a premium price-tag. It retails for £169.99 ($198.99 US). Do I think it’s worth it? Eh… maybe. It’s a damn good product from a trusted company, and if you can drop this kind of money on a toy it’ll be an investment that will last you for years. On the other hand, if money is tighter you can forego some of the special features (more on that later) you can get the Classic model or a much cheaper Satisfyer without losing a tonne of functionality. This toy does have some distinct advantages over cheaper models, but whether they’re worth the extra cost is a personal choice.

Body-Safety and Cleaning Concerns

The 100% silicone (apart from the ABS accents) of this toy make it completely body-safe. As it’s completely waterproof, you can submerge it to clean it all over. As an extra hygiene precaution, I recommend taking off the nozzle and sterilising it in boiling water or a 10% bleach solution after every few uses. In between, a sterile medical wipe will do the job just fine.

Sharing suction toys can be an issue, as they are not barrier compatible. Fortunately, this toy comes with two nozzles (and you can buy extras) so I recommend just swapping nozzles between partners if more than one person is going to be using it.

As ever, I recommend water-based lube.

Special Features

The Womanizer Premium has three defining features which set it apart from the lower priced models.

Firstly, it boasts a massive 12 speed settings (the Classic model has only 8), with the lowest setting lower and the highest setting higher than ever before.

Second, it has a super nifty body-sensor feature they call Smart Silence, which means the toy turns itself off automatically when it’s not in contact with the body, and then back on again (on the same setting) when contact is reestablished. It’s really cool and I like it a lot. No more fumbling with buttons if your roommate knocks on the door or your child barges in at an inopportune moment!

And finally, there’s the Auto Pilot mode. I hate this, because it’s basically a glorified pattern, but I think a lot of people will love it. In Auto Pilot, the intensity moves automatically between speeds (within a range of 4, which you can turn up or down). Personally, I want to be in control – it can ruin my chances of orgasm if the stimulation changes suddenly when I’m getting close – but others may love this. It could be fun to utilise as part of an edging or orgasm control game?

So how does it actually feel?

Short answer: amazing.

Long answer: it feels like it’s caressing your clit with a fierce determination to rip an orgasm from you whether you want it to or not, and when it does it’s the kind of orgasm that drenches the sheets and wakes the neighbours.

…At least that was my experience.

After a lackluster first try or two last year, I’m a serious suction toys convert. The differences between each model of suction toy are fairly subtle, but I’d describe this one as gentler than some others – even at the higher settings. If you’ve got a super sensitive clit and other toys of this type have been too intense for you, the Womanizer Premium on the lower settings might be the perfect choice.

Anything I Didn’t Love?

Well, that stupid Auto Pilot setting, but it’s easy to forget that exists. It’s also not the quietest, even when pressed against the body. For reference, my partner could hear it in the next room. It’s quieter than a wand but definitely louder than a bullet.

Otherwise, I can’t think of a single thing I didn’t enjoy about this toy.

So do I recommend it?

Yes, if you can afford to drop close to £200 on a toy and want something really luxurious that will last you for many years!

Thank you to Lovehoney for sending me the Womanizer Premium to review. All views are, as ever, entirely my own. If you buy through my affiliate links I make a small commission. Thank you for supporting my work when you buy your sex toys! All images are by me and not to be reproduced without permission.

[Toy Review] Satisfyer Pro 2

Firstly, and perhaps most importantly: I wrote this review with ‘Satisfied’ from Hamilton going around in my head and now I really want a musical theatre parody about sex toys.

[NOTE added 24/12/2019: the Satisfyer Pro 2 has been discontinued in favour of the Pro 2 Next Generation. Which, as you will see from my review, is a huge improvement on this product!]

With that out of the way: this is not the review I wanted to write. I really, really wanted to say that all the hype was deserved, that the Satisfyer Pro 2 (the latest edition to the Satisfyer range of toys) gave me the “screaming orgasm in under a minute” I’d been promised. Alas, it was not to be.

The Satisfyer Pro 2, for a product reviewFor those not in the know, the Satisfyer Pro 2 (and others in the range) are essentially  copycats of the much-hyped and more expensive Womanizer toys, which boast patented PleasureAir technology for “touch free orgasms.” Essentially, you put the nozzle end around your clitoris to create a kind of seal, and the toy provides stimulation via rapid air pulses.

Being one for new and exciting things, I couldn’t wait to try it. However, I just couldn’t get any meaningful stimulation from it! Somehow, this much-lauded toy did absolutely nothing for me.

I like to think I gave it a good go – I tried it on three separate occasions in all. With lube and without. From cold, and when I was already turned on and half way to orgasm. On the low settings and the high settings. In the end, after my second session of over forty minutes, I threw the damn thing aside in frustration and reached for my trusty Doxy to finish the job.

I nearly didn’t write this review at all, as these toys are so popular and to say I didn’t like it feels a bit blasphemous. But different views are important, so there it is. I fucked a Satifyer and I didn’t like it.

So what didn’t I like about it?

The Satisfyer Pro 2, for a product reviewFirstly, I couldn’t get it to stay in place! In my experience, once you’ve got it on the right spot and angled it just correctly, you pretty much can’t move at all – which doesn’t work for a girl like me who likes to move her hips and buck against a toy.

Secondly, the actual stimulation didn’t feel like anything special at all. To me, it just felt like an annoyingly weak and buzzy vibrator. (I am utterly baffled by the descriptions of Satisfyer and Womanizer toys as “oral sex simulators.” Not any oral sex I’ve ever had, I can assure you.) And after a while, having the nozzle stuck around my clit started to hurt.

Thirdly, this thing is fucking LOUD. Seriously, it sounded like a swarm of bees around my clitoris, which is not a sentence I ever thought I’d type and not something I find even remotely appealing. Not one for you if you’ve got nosy roommates, kids asleep in the next room, or any embarrassment about other people knowing you’re wanking.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★
The Satisfyer Pro 2 retails on Lovehoney for £69.99, which is a pretty standard price for a high-end toy and a lot cheaper than the similar Womanizer toys (which start at £84.99 for a basic model and go all the way up to £149.99.)

[EDIT 27.12.2019: Lovehoney have stopped carrying all Satisfyer models. However, the Pro 2 Next Generation retails for £44.99 at Bondara or $49.95 at SheVibe.]

Materials: ★★★★★
The nozzle, i.e. the only bit that actually makes direct contact with the genitals, is silicone. The body is ABS plastic. This makes the whole toy body-safe and non-porous.

Appearance: ★★★★
It’s quite pretty, I’ll give it that! The body is a lovely rose-gold colour, which is stylish and a step away from endless, endless neon pink.

Ease of Use:
The Satisfyer Pro 2 is quite bulky and surprisingly heavy for its small size. The buttons are a pain to press. At least 50% of the time I had to press the “off” button more than once to turn it off. As I mentioned above, it’s also really difficult to hold in place if you’re a person who moves a lot while being pleasured. Worst of all, the settings are SO ANNOYING. It has eleven speeds but once you’ve gone up a speed, you have to cycle all the way through – there is no “turn down” option other than going through all 11 settings. Distracting and offputting to say the least.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★
The head is detachable and you can purchase replacements, which makes this part at least easy to keep hygienic. However, the nozzle is bound to trap some lube, sex fluids and germs. That said, it is waterproof so you can submerge it for a thorough cleaning. You cannot put a condom on a suction toy or use it with any other barrier protection. For this reason, I would recommend ideally only sharing this toy with a partner you’re fluid bonded to – or change the head between users.

Versatility: ★★
It can really only be used in one way. It does have different speed settings, which is something, and is advertised as waterproof so could be used in the bath or shower if that’s your thing.

Intensity:
As mentioned above, this thing just felt like an annoyingly light and buzzy vibrator. Even on the highest settings, it was too weak to get me anywhere near to coming.

Overall Score: ★★
Sadly, much as I wanted to love it, the results for Satisfyer Pro 2 just didn’t live up to the hype (or the price point.)

A note: This is not exactly a bad toy. It has some significant flaws but it’s body-safe and well made. All bodies are different and suction toys clearly work really well for lots of people, which is brilliant. When considering a toy, particularly an expensive one, please look at lots of reviews and don’t base your choice on just one. I have a pretty small, fairly hidden away but VERY sensitive clitoris, and certain toys will suit my anatomy while others won’t. And that’s okay.

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