[Review] Lovehoney Advent Calendar 2024

It’s that time of year again when I do a day-by-day unboxing of the Lovehoney Advent Calendar for couples! Lovehoney UK is offering three advent calendars this year: a 12-day version and a 24-day version in partnership with Womanizer, as well as the Amorana Deluxe 24-day calendar which contains over £1100 worth of products. In the US, the 24-day version is the only one currently available.

Lovehoney Adult Advent Calendar 2024

I received the Lovehoney x Womanizer 24-day advent calendar. Straight away, I will say that I like the presentation of this Lovehoney advent calendar much more than previous iterations. The products are packaged in little individually labelled cardboard boxes in festive red and gold, rather than the tear-off doors that start to look a little scruffy when you’re a few days in. There’s also no plastic inner tray, cutting down on single-use plastic to make the whole thing more eco-friendly.

Lovehoney Adult Advent Calendar 2024

For the next 24 days, I’ll open one door each day and tell you a little about the item inside in a mini review with product info, pros and cons.

Without further ado, let’s dive into Day 1, shall we?

Day #1: Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator

Like previous iterations of the Lovehoney Advent Calendar, this one begins with a rechargeable bullet vibrator. This time, it’s a pretty rose gold colour with black button and Lovehoney insignia.

Lovehoney Adult Advent Calendar 2024 rechargeable bullet vibrator

Product Info

  • Material: ABS plastic with silicone button
  • Colour: Rose gold
  • Body safe? Yes, ABS plastic is non-toxic and non-porous
  • Waterproof: Yes, IPX-7 waterproof (submersible)
  • Size: 3″ length
  • Speeds/patterns: 3 speeds and 7 patterns
  • Lube-compatible: Any kind of lube is suitable
  • Cleaning: Sterile wipe or warm water and antibacterial soap
  • RRP if bought as a single item: £24.99

Pros

  • Light and compact – ideal for sliding between bodies during partnered sex or throwing into your bag for a sexy date
  • Surprisingly decent level of power for its size and price-point, and the hard plastic transmits the vibrations well
  • Versatile – designed for clits but great for penises, balls, nipples, and all kinds of other erogenous zones too (don’t use it anally, though, as it doesn’t have a suitable base)

Cons

  • Unlike many Lovehoney toys, it does not arrive with any charge so you’ll need to plug it in before you use it. This can ruin the mood if you’re aiming for an “unbox and use straight away” vibe.
  • A little more buzzy than I would prefer
  • Single button interface is kind of annoying when there are so many settings

Verdict

Lovehoney Adult Advent Calendar 2024 bullet vibrator

Once again, a solid basic bullet vibrator to kick things off. I would prefer it to be a bit more rumbly, but for the size and price-point it’s decent.

Day #2: Lube and Toy Wipes

Lovehoney Advent Calendar Day 2 box

Door #2 contains two items: a 60ml tube of Womanizer water-based lubricant and a packet of 10 Lovehoney toy cleaning wipes.

Pros

Lovehoney toy wipes and Womanizer water-based lube

  • The biodegradable wipes are eco-friendly
  • The handy travel sizes are ideal for taking with you on a date or weekend away
  • Both products are compatible with all toy materials including silicone
  • The lube has a nice, fairly thin and runny consistency that flows and spreads well
  • The lube is virtually scent-free and flavourless

Cons

  • The lube contains glycerin as the second ingredient. Experts believe that glycerin can damage the vagina’s mucus membranes and raise the osmolality of a lube, increasing the risk of irritation or even infection. Claims that glycerin contributes to yeast infections are somewhat controversial and hotly debated. However, experts at Stanford OB/GYN and the Cleveland Clinic believe there is a risk. Personally, I avoid glycerin-containing lubes for the sake of my vaginal health. They also tend to have an unpleasant sticky or tacky feeling after a while.
  • The toy wipes will clean your toy and should not be taken as a substitute for properly sterilizing it, especially if you are sharing it with a partner or partners.

Verdict

I like this combination of two miniature products together, but I would like to see the lube swapped out with one that doesn’t contain glycerin.

Day #3: Silicone Textured Dildo

Lovehoney Advent Calendar Day 3 box

Today’s box revealed a bright red silicone dildo with a curved shaft, gentle rippling texture on the underside, and slightly pronounced head. It also has a suction cup base and a hollow space where you can insert the bullet vibrator from Day 1.

Product Info

Lovehoney silicone textured dildo

  • Material: Silicone
  • Colour: Scarlet red
  • Body safe? Yes, silicone is body-safe and non-porous
  • Waterproof: Yes, there is no motor and the material is non-porous so you can safely use this toy in water
  • Size: 6″ length, 1.2″ diameter at widest point
  • Speeds/patterns: N/A
  • Lube-compatible: Water-based lube is best
  • Cleaning: Sterile wipe, warm water and antibacterial soap, or boiling
  • RRP if bought as a single item: A similar product retails for £24.99

Pros

  • Soft and flexible
  • Petite size makes it unthreatening for a beginner
  • Lovely curve, ideal for targeted G-spot or prostate stimulation
  • Large base makes the toy anal safe
  • Works with or without the bullet vibe from Day 1 (or any suitably sized bullet in your collection)
  • Texturing adds additional internal stimulation

Cons

  • Bullet vibe has a tendency to get stuck and be hard to remove (pro tip: lube it first!)
  • Base is too small for the toy to be harness-compatible

Verdict

Lovehoney silicone textured dildo

A great basic textured dildo! These kits are really aimed at people who are newer to toys/sexual exploration, and this item’s thoughtful design and small-ish size make it ideal for a first dildo. I would like to see a slightly larger base to make it harness-compatible, though.

Day #4: TPE Penis Stroker

Day 4’s box contains a TPE penis stroker, complete with a slot along the side to add the bullet vibrator from Day 1 (or any other bullet in your collection) if you want to.

Lovehoney Advent Calendar Day 4 box

Product Info

Lovehoney penis stroker around red silicone dildo

  • Material: Thermoplastic elastomer (TPE), a kind of soft plastic
  • Colour: Translucent white
  • Body safe? Ish. TPE is generally non-toxic but it is porous, which means it will harbour bacteria and cannot be fully sterilised. Don’t share it and don’t expect it to last forever. I recommend upgrading to a silicone stroker when you can.
  • Waterproof: Yes, you can use this toy in water safely, though it may damage the material more quickly.
  • Size: 4″ length but stretchy
  • Speeds/patterns: N/A
  • Lube-compatible: Water-based lube is best
  • Cleaning: Warm water and antibacterial soap. Dusting the toy with a little cornstarch after cleaning and drying may help to extend its life.
  • RRP if bought as a single item: This exact product is not available, but a similar item retails for £34.99

Pros

Lovehoney penis stroker around red silicone dildo viewed from above to show slot for bullet vibrator

  • A decent introduction to strokers if you’ve never used one before
  • Ability to use with the bullet vibrator from Day 1, transforming it into a vibrating stroker
  • Very stretchy to accommodate most penis sizes
  • Nice internal texturing that hugs and stimulates the entire shaft of your penis

Cons

  • Weird powdery texture that feels horrible on my hands
  • Material cannot be fully sterilised
  • Unlikely to last long

Verdict

It’s fine for what it is, but I would much prefer it were made of a non-porous material like silicone. Again: if you like the sensation, upgrade to a silicone stroker for a toy that will last you a lifetime and be far more hygienic.

Day #5: Kink Blindfold

Sensory deprivation can be a lot of fun to play with. By taking away one or more of the senses (such as sight) you heighten the others (such as touch). It can also be a great way to enhance anticipation, play with power and control, or otherwise explore whatever aspects of kink and BDSM appeal to you.

Today’s advent calendar box contains a kink blindfold. Made of polyester and with a pretty black and rose gold pattern, this blindfold measures 7″ across and 2.5″ top to bottom. A similar item retails for £7.99 if bought separately.

Pros

Lovehoney black and rose gold satin kink blindfold

  • Stretchy elastic means the blindfold will fit most users
  • Plushy padded backing is comfortable to wear
  • Pretty black and rose gold design
  • Doubles as a sleep mask (I have several of these now and as a seasoned kinkster I rarely use them for BDSM as I have better blindfolds, but I always take one with me when I travel to help me sleep)

Cons

  • Not quite big enough – it blocks most of the light effectively but I can still see around the edges a bit if I keep my eyes open
  • Cheap fabric is starting to pull at the edges and look less attractive after just a few wears
  • I’m not sure how well it would survive washing

Verdict

A perfectly serviceable basic blindfold if you just want to play but aren’t looking for complete sight deprivation. It would be better if it was slightly wider. If you enjoy playing with this, then it’s easy to upgrade to a better kink blindfold that will last you longer and block more of your vision.

Day #6: Crystal Butt Plug

Box #6 contains an aluminium metal butt plug with a sparkly red crystal-look base.

Product Info

Lovehoney advent calendar crystal butt plug

  • Material: Aluminium
  • Colour: Rose gold body with a red gem base
  • Body safe? Generally yes; aluminium is a non-toxic and non-porous metal that is safe for use in sex toys. However, some aluminium can contain traces of nickel so I’d be very cautious if you are allergic.
  • Waterproof: Yes, you can use this toy in water with no issues.
  • Size: 3″ in total length, 1.1″ in diameter at widest insertable point
  • Speeds/patterns: N/A
  • Lube compatible: Yes, any kind of lube is suitable
  • Cleaning: Sterile wipe, 10% bleach solution, or warm water and antibacterial soap. I wouldn’t boil this one or put it in the dishwasher as it might damage the glue holding the gem in place.
  • RRP if bought as a single item: This similar toy retails for £22.99

Pros

Lovehoney advent calendar crystal butt plug

  • Surprisingly light – aluminium is a lot lighter than stainless steel, making it a more accessible entry point for metal toys
  • The rose gold body and red crystal colour scheme is really pretty
  • Great for temperature play – just pop it in the fridge or run it under some warm (not hot) water right before use
  • Small size likely to make it suitable for more users

Cons

  • In general, I think a metal anal toy in a set aimed at beginners is a bold choice. I might have gone for silicone instead.
  • The firm rounded base might dig in after you’ve been wearing it for a while and could be uncomfortable

Verdict

A nice little metal plug; personally I would have gone for silicone if I were designing this kit, but as entry-level metal anal toys go this is a decent one. The pretty colour and sparkly crystal make it super cute, too.

Day #7: Vanilla Massage Oil

Day 7’s box contains a 30ml bottle of Lovehoney’s vanilla massage oil. Massage can be a great precursor to sex, a way to connect intimately and show love and affection to a partner without getting your genitals involved, or a form of aftercare. For those in kinky dynamics, it can also be a fun form of service!

Product Info

Lovehoney vanilla massage oil

This vanilla massage oil contains just four ingredients:

  • Ethylhexyl palmite: A common and safe emollient and carrying agent which can soften and smooth the skin.
  • Caprylic/capric triglyceride: Derived from coconut oil and glycerine, this antioxidant also smooths the skin and helps to bind other ingredients. It is safe for topical use unless you have a coconut oil allergy.
  • Isopropyl myristate: An emollient with low viscosity which softens, smooths, and moisturises the skin and is safe and beneficial for most users. It may cause skin irritation in a small minority of people, usually those with existing skin conditions.
  • Parfum (aroma): This is a weird one. “Parfum” isn’t actually an ingredient but a concoction that could contain any of over 3000 ingredients designed to make a product smell good. Some people recommend avoiding products with this mystery mix, others say it’s probably fine as long as you don’t have an allergy or sensitivity. Personally I don’t worry about it too much for products for occasional topical use (such as massage oils), but your risk tolerance may vary.

This oil is also sold separately under Lovehoney’s Fifty Shades of Grey branded products and retails for £11.99 for 30ml.

Pros

  • Nice vanilla smell, distinctive but not overpowering or too “chemically”
  • Glides on smoothly and has a pleasant skin feel

Cons

  • Dries out quickly and doesn’t last particularly well, meaning you might need to reapply it regularly
  • May be unsuitable for those with fragrance sensitivities or certain skin allergies
  • Leaves a slight oily feeling on my hands after use

Verdict

Not my favourite massage oil, but it’s fine. I wouldn’t likely buy this again as there are other massage products I like a lot more.

Day #8: Wrist Restraints

Lovehoney Advent Calendar Day 8 box

Today’s box contains a pair of velcro-shut wrist cuffs with plastic hardware. The cuffs are black, and the hardware is rose gold, matching various other items in this set. I’ll say this for Lovehoney and Womanizer, they have their aesthetic cohesion down.

Pros

I will say straight away that these are a huge step up from the 2021 calendar’s “wrist restraints” (glorified ribbons and frankly pretty dangerous) and from 2022’s uncomfortable rough cuffs. These ones are made of a soft material that feels nice against the skin.

Lovehoney advent calendar wrist cuffs

Other pros include:

  • Velcro fastenings come undone in seconds, enhancing safety and making them beginner-friendly
  • Very adjustable so will fit just about anyone
  • Attached clips allow you to cuff someone’s hands together or clip them to something else

Cons

  • Clips are tiny, so what you can fasten them to is pretty limited
  • Not particularly strong – the hardware feels like it would break if you pulled against them too hard
  • When you fasten them tighter, there’s nowhere for the spare velcro to be tucked so it just sort of… dangles

Verdict

Lovehoney wrist restraints from adult advent calendar 2024

You might be sending a theme in my overall impression of this kit: these cuffs aren’t amazing, but they’re fine. If you want to play with light bedroom bondage or try out getting restrained for the first time, they’re ideal. If you’re looking for something a bit more heavy-duty, though, you’ll probably want to upgrade to leather cuffs (or vegan equivalent) or go to a dedicated kink gear maker.

Day #9: We-Vibe Sync Lite

Lovehoney Advent Calendar Day 9 box

The We-Vibe Sync Light is a wearable vibrator designed to be inserted into the vagina during penetrative sex, with an external arm that provides clitoral stimulation. Of course, as always, there are lots of different ways to use toys and the suggested way is just one of them!

We-Vibe Sync Lite

Product Info

  • Material: Silicone
  • Colour: Black
  • Body safe? Yes
  • Waterproof: No – toy is IPX-4 splashproof but should not be submerged
  • Size: 3″ insertable length
  • Speeds/patterns: 4 speeds and 6 patterns
  • Lube-compatible: Water-based lube is best
  • Cleaning: A body-safe sterile wipe is best for non-submersible toys
  • RRP if bought as a single item: £79.99
We-Vibe Sync Lite

Pros

  • Middling power vibrations – they’re not knock-your-socks-off, but they’re decent
  • Flexible middle between the two arms allows you to position the toy in whatever way is most comfortable for your body
  • App controls! I did not expect to find an app-controlled toy in this kit but I am very pleasantly surprised. We-Vibe’s app is free from the Android or iOS stores and allows you to connect at close range or remotely from anywhere in the world.
We-Vibe Sync Lite

Cons

  • No remote control, which is a downside if you don’t want to use the app
  • Single button interface on the body of the toy is kind of annoying
  • Not waterproof
  • In my experience, these toys don’t generally stay in place well during partnered sex without someone holding them in position

Verdict

This is a really impressive addition to the kit! These types of toys are normally seriously pricey, so this is a great introduction for those who are curious about trying one. The app controls are also a really nice extra, particularly for couples who want to connect sexually over long distance.

Day #10: Silicone Cock Ring

Today’s item is a basic silicone thick cock ring. Cock rings are worn around the base of the penis, restricting blood flow outwards to help the wearer maintain a stronger erection for longer. Some also say they heighten sensation and intensify orgasm.

Lovehoney advent calendar thick cock ring

According to Healthline, cock rings are safe for the vast majority of wearers as long as you listen to your body, wear a ring of a suitable size, and follow some basic precautions, such as using lube and not leaving the ring on for more than 30 minutes at a time.

Product Info

  • Material: Silicone
  • Colour: Black
  • Body safe? Yes – silicone is non-porous and non-toxic.
  • Waterproof: Yes, this toy is non-porous and has no motor so can safely be used in water
  • Size: 1.5″ diameter but stretchy
  • Speeds/patterns: N/A
  • Lube-compatible: Water-based lube is best
  • Cleaning: Boiling, a 10% bleach solution, a sterile wipe, or warm water and antibacterial soap
  • RRP if bought as a single item: £9.99 for a pack of 3

Pros

Lovehoney advent calendar thick cock ring

  • Very stretchy to accommodate most penis sizes
  • Extra-thick cock ring enhances comfort

Cons

  • May be uncomfortably tight on those with very girthy penises

Verdict

Not much more to say on this one – a great basic cock ring that is also body-safe and should be durable and long-lasting.

Day #11: Spanking Paddle

Today’s item is a mini spanking paddle with a pretty black and rose gold design matching other items in the kit. It’s made of silky satin on one side and faux leather on the other, and has a ribbon wrist loop. It measures 9″ in total length.

Lovehoney spanking paddle

A similar item retails by itself for £16.99.

Pros

Lovehoney spanking paddle

  • Very safe as an intro toy for impact play beginners – you’re very unlikely to do anyone real damage with this
  • Slightly different sensation from each of the two sides (the leather side is a little more stingy)
  • Impressive slappy noise which is hot to some people

Cons

  • Unlikely to satisfy anyone who enjoys more than very mild pain
  • Loud noise may be problematic if you have to keep your play discreet
  • Not particularly robust, will probably fall apart after a bit

Verdict

This is a perfectly okay spanking paddle for total beginners. It’s gentle enough to be safe and non-threatening, and might be a decent way to figure out if impact play is something you enjoy. It’s unlikely to satisfy serious BDSM enthusiasts but honestly, serious BDSM enthusiasts aren’t the target market for this kit anyway.

Try it out and, if you like it, upgrade to a well-made BDSM paddle.

Day #12: Snap Sex Position Card Game

Today it’s literally the card game “Snap” but as a sex position card game. Is the idea that you play the game and then when you get a “snap”, you have to have sex in that position? Because YKINMKBYKIOK and all, but that doesn’t sound sexy to me.

Also, they should really rename this as “Sex Position Card Game For Very Athletic Straight People.” Because seriously, look at them. They all assume, to a greater or lesser extent, a cisgender man and woman having penetrative vaginal sex. Some of them are fine, if fairly generic. Some are potentially doable, if you’re very fit, like “The Wheelbarrow”:

Snap Sex Position Card Game sample cards from Lovehoney Advent Calendar 2024

Others are… well, this:

Snap Sex Position Card Game "Hold On Tight" sex position

Stop it, Lovehoney. You’re being silly now.

Pros

  • Potentially a fun, goofy and low-pressure way into exploring new positions, I guess?
  • Calls to mind this scene from The Bold Type in which our three bestie protagonists test out a new sex position for Scarlet Magazine.
  • Some of these, at least, could potentially work for strap-on sex or anal sex (at least if you made some minor adjustments) as well as vaginal sex.

Cons

  • A lot of these are just fairly standard positions that most people who have penetrative sex likely already have in their repertoire.
  • The others are, as we have identified above, anything from “improbable if you’re not an athlete” to “physically im-fucking-possible.”
  • Extremely cishetero and gendered

Verdict

You might get a little inspiration from this, or at the very least you’ll have a laugh trying out some of the more challenging positions. Overall, though, I don’t know why we’re still pretending that contorting yourself into all kinds of weird shapes is superior to or hotter than good old missionary, doggy style, or over-the-edge-of-the-bed fucking.

Day #13: G-Spot/P-Spot Massager

Today’s product is a G-Spot/P-Spot Massager. In other words, a penetrative toy that can be used to stimulate either the G-spot or the prostate. It has an optional slot to insert a bullet vibrator such as the one from Day 1.

Product Info

Lovehoney black silicone P-spot massager

  • Material: Silicone
  • Colour: Black
  • Body safe? Yes
  • Waterproof: Yes (though if you’re using a vibrator with it, make sure that’s waterproof too!)
  • Size: 4″ insertable length, 1.4″ diameter at widest point
  • Speeds/patterns: N/A
  • Lube-compatible: Water-based lube is best
  • Cleaning: A body-safe sterile wipe, boiling, or gentle antibacterial soap and water
  • RRP if bought as a single item: N/A – not available

Pros

Lovehoney black silicone P-spot massager

  • Suitable and safe for both vaginal and anal use
  • Can be used with or without a vibrator
  • Very flexible, which can help with insertion and comfortable positioning
  • Bulbed head for precision stimulation of the G-spot or prostate
  • Narrow neck allows it to sit comfortably once inserted
  • Beginner-friendly size

Cons

  • None that I can see!

Verdict

This is a lovely item and a great inclusion in the kit. It’s good to see items that are suitable for people regardless of their body or genital type, the shape and curve are excellent, and the size isn’t too intimidating for those who are new to anal play.

Day #14: Menthol Pleasure Balm

Today’s item is a 7g tin of Lovehoney’s menthol pleasure balm. This item isn’t sold separately in this form but it’s pretty similar to the Bliss Orgasm Balm, which I love and use regularly.

Product Info

Lovehoney menthol pleasure balm

In a nutshell, pleasure balm or orgasm balm is designed to be applied to the external genitals, especially the clitoris. The ingredients provide a tingling sensation and may encourage blood flow, promoting greater sensitivity.

The Menthol Pleasure Balm contains a pretty long list of ingredients, but most of them give me no cause for concern. It does contain propylparaben, and some people like to avoid parabens entirely for understandable reasons. However, according to a report by the Scientific Committee on Consumer Safety, “the SCCS has concluded that propylparaben is safe when used as a preservative in cosmetic products up to a maximum concentration of 0.14%.” I’m not a scientist, of course, but I would conclude from this data that the tiny amount in this product is unlikely to do you any harm.

Lovehoney menthol pleasure balm ingredients list

Unfortunately this balm contains beeswax, so it is not vegan.

Pros

  • 7g doesn’t sound like a very big tin, but you really don’t need a lot to get the effects so you’ll get a good few uses out of this
  • Genuinely works! I have had several tins of this stuff over the years and I love it. It really does enhance sensitivity (it’s not a magic orgasm spell, though, so keep your expectations realistic!)
  • Some of the plant-based oils and other ingredients may have beneficial properties for skin

Cons

  • Not vegan due to beeswax
  • Oily consistency can make clean-up a bit annoying
  • Strong minty scent may be unpleasant to some people

Verdict

I still really like this stuff, though I think personally I’ll be sticking to the vegan, paraben-free version.

Day #15: Plastic Massager

Today’s item is a handheld plastic massager. It’s red and sparkly, and has a central handle and then four arms each with a spherical bulb on the end to get deep into all those muscles and knots. On its own, this item retails for £5.99.

Lovehoney red sparkly plastic massager

Pros

  • Light weight and ergonomic design make it comfortable to hold and use
  • Great way to give a deeper massage, especially if your hands or wrists get tired or sore
  • Flexible options – use one, two, or all four ends at once for different sensations
  • Really good for getting properly into sore muscles!
  • Basically zero maintenance – just wash off excess massage oil after use and you’re good to go

Cons

  • Because it’s hard plastic, you need to be a little bit careful – you could possibly hurt someone if you press too hard. We’re not talking “serious injury” here, but maybe “nasty bruise.”

Verdict

Lovehoney red sparkly plastic massager

I really like this one. And it’s sparkly, which never hurts my opinion of a product!

Day #16: Micro Wand Vibrator

Today’s product is a micro wand vibrator. Look how tiny it is!

Lovehoney micro wand vibrator

Product Info

  • Material: Plastic body. I thought the head material was probably silicone but wasn’t 100% sure, so I flame-tested it and based on what I know about deciphering flame test results I think I’m correct
  • Colour: Black
  • Body safe? Yes, assuming it is indeed silicone
  • Waterproof: No
  • Size: 4.5″ in total length
  • Speeds/patterns: 3 speeds, 7 patterns
  • Lube-compatible: Water-based lube is best
  • Cleaning: Wipe the head with a body-safe sterile wipe (do not submerge this toy in water)
  • RRP if bought as a single item: £19.99 for something similar

Pros

Lovehoney micro wand vibrator

  • Small and discreet
  • Flexible neck for easy positioning
  • Easy user interface and satisfyingly clicky buttons

Cons

Lovehoney micro wand vibrator

  • Requires batteries, which are not included (2 x AAA)
  • Not waterproof
  • Vibrations not particularly powerful
  • Buzzy as fuck

Verdict

I think people see “wand vibrator” and assume that it’s going to be powerful. But this isn’t a wand in any meaningful sense. This is a wand. This tiny little thing, though, is just a crappy vibrator with a weak and buzzy motor designed to look like a micro version of a wand.

I already have something very similar from a previous calendar, and it’s often within reach because it does wonders for my sore neck when I’ve been sitting at the computer for too long. Partners have also really enjoyed having it used on them.

Day #17: Dice Sex Game

Today’s box contains a simple dice sex game. One dice includes pictures of items from the calendar (stroker, bullet vibe, paddle, mini wand, dildo, and massager). The other contains timeframes ranging from 1 minute to 15 minutes, plus a “free” option.

Lovehoney dice sex game

Pros

  • Can be a fun, low-pressure way into exploring with a partner if you are new and nervous about using toys or experimenting sexually
  • You can use the dice in different ways. I’m immediately thinking of a game where you roll the “implement” die three times and then have to come up with a quick scene that incorporates all three elements.

Cons

  • Things can end up feeling unbalanced if you follow the game too rigidly. If one person gets 15 minutes of something then the other rolls one minute, it’s probably not going to feel very mutual. Of course, you can get around this by creating “house rules” or just ensuring everyone gets roughly equal time (or whatever they want/need) even if you’re switching between different activities.

Verdict

Lovehoney dice sex game

Not really my thing, but perfectly fine for its intended audience.

Day #18: Ankle Restraints

Remember those velcro-fastening wrist cuffs from Day 8? Well, today’s box containd the matching set of ankle restraints. These, too, are black with rose gold hardware and come with a clip to fasten them together.

Pros

Lovehoney ankle restraints

  • Like the wrist cuffs, they’re a huge step up from the rough nylon cuffs and those unsafe ribbon things from previous years
  • Soft and comfy to wear
  • Safe and beginner-friendly as you can unfasten them in a second
  • Very adjustable sizing

Cons

  • The clips are tiny and not very strong
  • Annoying dangling velcro strap when they’re on
  • Mostly, I’m just annoyed that these were a separate item. All four cuffs should have been in the same box as they’re clearly a set.

Verdict

Exactly like the other half of this matching set (sensing a pattern here?) these are far from amazing, but they’re fine. They do the job if all you want to do is experiment with light bondage. If you find you enjoy it, you can always splash out on some properly made kink ankle cuffs later on.

Day #19: Kegel Balls

Day 19’s box contains a set of kegel balls, AKA ben-wa balls. Kegel balls are interesting, because there are a lot of lofty claims out there about them. They’ll solve incontinence! They’ll make your orgasms better! They might even make it easier to orgasm if you struggle!

Is any of this true?

Eh. Maybe. Check out my past posts on kegel balls and kegel exercisers, especially this one, to learn more about what the current research does and does not say.

In this post I will be approaching kegel balls solely as a sex toy designed for pleasure, not as any sort of health or wellness device.

Product Info

Lovehoney kegel balls

  • Material: Silicone
  • Colour: Red balls with black casing
  • Body safe? Yes
  • Waterproof: Yes
  • Size: 3″ insertable length, 3.5″ tail, 1.1″ diameter across each ball
  • Speeds/patterns: N/A
  • Lube-compatible: Water-based lube is best
  • Cleaning: Boiling is best as this will kill all bacteria even in hard-to-reach places
  • RRP if bought as a single item: This similar set retails for £12.99

Pros

  • Small enough for beginners
  • Long and strong silicone cord for easy removal
  • Removeable sling makes cleaning easy

Cons

  • None that I can find – these are great.

Verdict

An ideal introduction to kegel balls for anyone who has never tried them before.

Day #20: Rabbit Cock Ring

Day 20’s box contains a silicone cock ring with rabbit ears. This can be used with the bullet vibrator from Day 1, or on its own. When combined with the bullet vibrator, the ears can provide clitoral stimulation to the receptive partner during penetrative sex as well as stimulating the wearer. On its own, it still gives you all the benefits of using a cock ring.

Product Info

Black silicone rabbit cock ring

  • Material: Silicone
  • Colour: Black
  • Body safe? Yes
  • Waterproof: Yes
  • Size: 1.5″ ring diameter, 1″ ears
  • Speeds/patterns: N/A
  • Lube-compatible: Water-based lube
  • Cleaning: Boiling, soap and water, or a 10% bleach solution
  • RRP if bought as a single item: Not available but this similar item retails for £24.99

Pros

Black silicone rabbit cock ring

  • Versatile toy suitable for use during masturbation or partnered sex, and with or without a vibrator
  • Adds clitoral stimulation, which a large majority of vulva-owners need to orgasm and which is not always forthcoming during p-in-v sex
  • Wide band for comfortable fit
  • Stretchy to accommodate different sizes

Cons

  • May not fit people with very girthy penises comfortably

Verdict

Realistically, this toy is not something I’m likely to use. My experience has been that vibrating cock rings during penetrative sex don’t tend to do much for me as the stimulation they provide isn’t consistent enough. But everyone’s different and it’s a perfectly fine item, just not really for me.

Day #21: Beginner Nipple Clamps

Day 21’s box contains a pair of nipple clamps. They’re made of rose gold plastic, with a little decorative lightning bolt charm and red silicone tips. The slider design allows you to loosen or tighten them as desired.

Lovehoney beginner nipple clamps

They’re a variation on Lovehoney’s Tease Me clamps, which retail for £12.99.

Pros

  • They’re cute; I like the colour and the lightning charm is a fun touch
  • Easy to put on and take off quickly
  • Adjustable to fit different nipple sizes and tightness preferences
  • Very gentle, which makes them suitable beginner nipple clamps

Cons

  • That beginner-friendly gentleness means they’re unlikely to be enough for wearers who prefer any significant pressure or intensity
  • Won’t fit people with larger nipples
  • The slider starts to rub off the coloured plating after a few uses
  • They don’t stay on particularly well and fall off at the slightest tug

Verdict

These are fine if you’re just after a pair of purely decorative nipple clamps or want to try something very gentle for your first time. However, they’re neither particularly functional nor particularly durable for anything more than that. If you like them or want to experiment more with nipple clamps, get a more robust pair of adjustable clamps or try clover clamps.

Day #22: Finger Vibe Sleeve

Box 22 contains a finger vibe sleeve. There’s a space to insert a bullet vibrator (such as the bullet vibe from Day 1, or any other bullet in your collection that fits) and a loop for your finger.

Product Info

Lovehoney finger vibe sleeve

  • Material: Silicone
  • Colour: Red
  • Body safe? Yes
  • Waterproof: Yes (but the bullet vibrator you use with it may or may not be, so check first!)
  • Size: 2.5″ long sleeve for bullet, 0.5″ diameter finger loop
  • Speeds/patterns: N/A
  • Lube-compatible: Water-based lube
  • Cleaning: Boiling, soap and water, or a 10% bleach solution
  • RRP if bought as a single item: £29.99 with a bullet vibe included

Pros

Lovehoney finger vibe sleeve

  • Pairs with the bullet vibrator from Day 1, allowing yet another way to use it
  • Offers a fun new way to explore fingering and hand sex, which I believe are wildly underrated sex acts and should be explored far more
  • Gentle texturing on the underside offers additional clitoral stimulation
  • Can reduce the physical effort of the giving partner during hand sex, which is useful if you suffer from pain or fatigue in your hands

Cons

  • The finger loop is tiny! It was snug on me, and I have small hands. Someone with larger hands doesn’t stand a chance using this
  • If your bullet vibrator isn’t super powerful, the silicone dampens the vibrations
  • Texturing could do with being a bit more pronounced

Verdict

This is a really nice addition to the kit at least in theory. However, it feels to me like the design was a bit rushed and basic things – is the finger loop large/stretchy enough to be comfortable, is the texturing pronounced enough to be felt by most users? – were missed.

Day #23: Under-Mattress Restraints

Today’s item is a set of under-mattress restraints with clips to attach cuffs at each corner. These four-way restraints are designed to fit under your mattress, which then anchors them in place. Use in conjunction with the wrist cuffs from Day 8 and the ankle cuffs from Day 18 for a full set of restraints.

This set is similar to the Bondage Boutique Bound to Please Under-Mattress Restraints, which retail for £49.99 for a set including cuffs.

Pros

Under-mattress restraints set from Lovehoney

  • Adjustable to use with all bed sizes, including my fabulous super-king
  • Great way to try bedroom bondage if you want to tie someone to the bed but don’t have a metal bed frame or other suitable hard points.
  • Easy to tuck them out of sight quickly if you need to without dismantling the whole set-up
  • Strong and sturdy material
  • Safe and easy introduction to bondage
  • Pairs with the cuffs in this set or, if you prefer, you can upgrade to better cuffs and continue using the restraint kit

Cons

  • I feel like the under-mattress restraints and pairs of cuffs should have been ONE item in the advent calendar, not three. Otherwise, no complaints.

Verdict

Overall, this is a great addition for the second-last day of the advent kit. I’m also pleasantly surprised to learn they will work with my giant bad, having assumed they wouldn’t. For people who are brand new to playing with bondage and restraint, they’re a safe and accessible place to start.

Day #24: Womanizer Liberty 2

Day 24’s box contains the second of this kit’s two premium products (the first being the We-Vibe Sync Lite from Day 9!) Namely, the Womanizer Liberty 2, a petite clitoral suction stimulator in a neat little travel case.

Product Info

Womanizer Liberty 2 with case

  • Material: Plastic body and case, silicone nozzle
  • Colour: Black
  • Body safe? Yes
  • Waterproof: Yes, IPX 7 waterproof
  • Size: 4.5″ total length
  • Speeds/patterns: 8 intensity levels
  • Lube-compatible: Water-based lube
  • Cleaning: Soap and water or a 10% bleach solution, or remove the nozzle and boil-sterilise the nozzle only
  • RRP if bought as a single item: £89.99, available in various colourways

Pros

Womanizer Liberty 2 in case

  • Discreet and travel-friendly case
  • Waterproof for use in the bath or shower
  • Petite size makes it light and comfortable to hold
  • Removeable nozzle is easy to clean
  • Quieter than comparable models at the highest speeds
  • Two-way controls
  • 5 year warranty should anything go wrong

Cons

Womanizer Liberty 2

  • Buttons are not always as responsive as they could be – sometimes I have to press twice to get the speed to change

Verdict

Yes yes yes yes. This is an excellent product and a great note to finish on! Honestly, as long as you like at least a few of the other things at least somewhat, this toy kinda makes the value of the entire kit.

Phew. And we’re done! Will I do this again next year? Probably! Until then, I’ll return you to the regular C&K content you know and love.

The Lovehoney Advent Calendar 2024 (24 Day) retails for £149 at Lovehoney UK and $199 at Lovehoney US, and contains £457/$530 worth of products! Move fast if you want one – these usually sell out by mid November. Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the this set to review. All views are mine (with occasional input from Mr C&K!) Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Toy Review] Arosum Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On & Kegelator Kegel Exerciser

Arosum, who both sponsored this double review and recently came on board as a site sponsor, is a rare beast in this industry: a sex toy retailer that does not use gendered language in its marketing. You won’t find Arosum toys grouped into limiting and cissexist categories such as “for women” and “for men.” Instead, toys are categorised by type and body part.

This is such an easy change to make if you want to make your sex toy marketing more inclusive, and yet so many retailers fail.

Arosum kindly send me the Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On and the Kegelator Vibrating Kegel Balls to review.

Arosum Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On

Arosum Vibratwin strapless strap-on vibrator

Strapless strap-ons are a divisive topic in the sex toy space. Some love them and others hate them. I’ve always been quite indifferent. I had a mediocre experience with one in my twenties, and haven’t really bothered again since. So I was curious to see how I’d get on with the Arosum Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On.

Fun fact, as I discovered when doing Google keyword research for this post: Vibratwin is also the name of a dual-action floor cleaning machine!

Vibratwin strapless strap-on details

The Vibratwin is a classic strapless strap-on vibrator, with one arm to go inside the wearer and then a protruding arm for them to fuck their partner with. The main shaft measures 5.35″ in length and 1.57″ in diameter at the widest point, and the shaft for the wearer measures 5.51″ in insertable length (but is very curved) and 1.26″ in diameter at the widest point.

The Vibratwin is made of body-safe silicone in a pretty shade of green. In the box you’ll also find a remote control and a storage bag (though, weirdly, the bag isn’t really big enough for the toy unless you squish it in at a weird angle!)

The Vibratwin is IPX7 waterproof and rechargeable. The battery life – around 45 minutes on a full charge – isn’t great, but is anyone really doing penetrative sex for longer than 45 minutes at a time anyway?

In use: what I liked

Arosum Vibratwin strapless strap-on vibrator

I really like the curved shape of the wearer’s shaft on the Vibratwin, for two reasons:

  1. It helps the toy to actually stay inside me
  2. It presses very pleasurably against my G-spot

Other things I like about this toy:

  • The “come hither” motion of the main shaft. It feels great and it means that, if you want to have strap-on sex without a lot of thrusting, you can just slide the shaft inside your partner and let the toy do the hard work. There are 3 different speeds.
  • The versatility. You can control the come-hither motion and the vibrations separately. Or, if you’re not in the mood for either, just leave them switched off.
  • It takes much less set-up than my regular strap-on, which I love but which always requires several minutes of futzing with straps and rings before it’s ready to go.
  • The remote control is a really nice addition, making it easy to control the toy in use with a partner. It’s fast and responsive.
  • There’s no reason you can’t also use it as a solo toy, if you want.
  • The silicone is really soft and smooth.

Anything I don’t like?

  • The inevitable squeaky whine that accompanies the “come hither” motion. This isn’t really Arosum’s fault, it’s probably almost impossible to make a toy that does this motion without it, but I still hate it.
  • The ridges on the main shaft. These will work really well for some people but for me, that level of texturing is more likely to be painful than pleasurable. As such, I think I’d prefer to use this toy when I’m Topping (assuming my partner enjoys that texture) rather than bottoming.
  • The vibrations are quite weak and buzzy. I don’t really like internal vibrations anyway, though, so I’ll just keep them turned off when using this toy in the future.

Verdict

Surprisingly great! I really like this one and will definitely use it again.

The Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On retails for $99.

Arosum Kegelator Vibrating Kegel Balls

Arosum Kegelator vibrating kegel exerciser

I’ve written about kegel balls and their purported benefits before. Some proponents claim that they can strengthen the pelvic floor, reduce incontinence, or enhance (or make it easier to have) G-spot orgasms. The actual evidence, though, doesn’t really stack up. The data supporting the bladder control claims is minimal and contradictory, and I could find no evidence (beyond the anecdotal) to support the orgasm claims.

Kegel exercises themselves are good for you, helping to prevent incontinence and other pelvic floor problems. It’s a good idea to do them regularly. But do kegel balls or other exercisers really help? The jury is out on that one.

Due to the lack of evidence to support any health claims, I choose to look at kegel balls and kegel exercises purely as sex toys.

With that in mind, how does the Kegelator stack up as a sex toy?

The Kegelator measures 8.27″ end to end, of which 4.33″ is insertable and the rest is the tail. The insertable portion is 1.54″ wide at the widest point, and 0.79″ at the narrowest point. It’s made of body-safe silicone in a dusky pink shade and is the classic “two connected balls with a long tail” shape.

As well as vibrating, the top part of the Kegelator moves in a “come hither” motion to stimulate the G-spot.

What I liked about the Kegelator

Arosum Kegelator vibrating kegel exerciser

  • The main thing I like about this toy is its shape. The size and slight curve of the head is ideal for seeking out my G-spot and targeting it with precision.
  • The remote is fast, responsive, and allows you to move between the 10 patterns and settings in either direction.
  • It’s comfortable enough to wear for quite a while, if you want to.
  • The silicone is silky soft.

Anything I didn’t like?

  • That whining noise again!
  • The fact that you can’t control the vibrations and come hither motion separately. I don’t like internal vibrations and would really like to turn them off while still using the other function!
  • 60 minutes battery life isn’t great, especially for something you might theoretically want to wear for longer periods.
  • The vibrations are weak and buzzy.

Verdict

Unlike the Vibratwin, I think the Kegelator is just okay. It’s really let down by the lack of dual controls, and the buzzy vibrations will be a downside for anyone looking for powerful internal vibes.

The Kegelator Kegel Exerciser retails for $79.

Thanks to Arosum for sponsoring this review. Sponsors help to keep the site going! All views, as always, are mine.

[Review] Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” Sex Toy Advent Calendar

I originally wrote this review of the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar for couples as 24 separate posts. However, I’ve now combined them all into one as they were becoming unweildy and clogging up my blog archives.

I’m so excited to have received the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar for couples! This treasure trove of sexy goodies comes with 24 numbered windows, each containing a sex toy, kink product, or other sexy item.

This kit is geared towards couples where one person has a penis and the other has a vulva, but many of the items are flexible and unisex. Mr C&K and I are going to be opening one door at a time for the next 24 days and sharing a mini review each day, then I’ll publish an overall review of the whole set at the end.

Day 1: Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator

Let’s dive in and see what’s behind the first door of Lovehoney’s 2021 sex toy advent calendar…

Sex toy advent calendar for couples door 1

Today we’re looking at Door #1, which contained a small bullet vibrator. Here’s a quick rundown of the details:

  • Material: ABS plastic
  • Colour: Shiny red with a gold Lovehoney heart insignia.
  • Body safe? Yes – ABS is non-porous and non-toxic.
  • Power: Rechargeable.
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 3″ in length, 0.8″ in diameter.
  • Lube compatible: Yes, all kinds.
  • Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water or a 10% bleach solution.

As far as I can tell, this vibrator is the Lovehoney Glow Up Bullet Vibrator in a new colourway. This means its RRP is £24.99.

Lovehoney Glow-Up Bullet Vibrator from Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar

The vibe comes with a USB charging cable and you get around 60 minutes use on a full charge. It operates on a one-button interface located in the base, and offers three constant speeds and seven patterns. To switch it on, you have to hold down the button until the light flashes, then give it another quick press. Press to cycle through settings, then press and hold to turn the toy off.

Power-wise, I’m significantly more impressed than I expected to be! This toy packs a decent punch, given its small size and low price point. It sits midway along the buzz-to-rumble scale, offering strong and non-numbing vibrations though not quite hitting that deep, penetrating rumble that so many people love. It’s a little loud, so bear that in mind if you live in a shared space or need to keep the noise down.

The target market for this set is primarily people and couples without much experience of sex toys, perhaps just exploring or looking to start their collection, so I’m approaching this review series through that lens. This is a great bullet vibrator for beginners, powerful enough to hit the spot but compact, non-threatening, and easy to use.

Red bullet vibrator for couples from sex toy advent calendar

If you enjoy penetrative sex, this bullet is small enough to slide between bodies for extra clitoral stimulation. And remember that vibes aren’t just for clits! You can also use your bullet vibrator on the labia, nipples, penis, balls, perineum, or literally any other body part that feels good. (Don’t insert it anally, though – it’s not safe for that as it doesn’t have a flared base).

Bottom line: it’s body-safe. It can get me off reliably. And it’s small and light enough to throw in my bag for a playdate or weekend away.

Day 2: Adjustable Cock Ring

Sex toy advent calendar for couples day 2

Today’s sex toy advent calendar surprise is an adjustable silicone cock ring. Let’s start with some basic details.

  • Material: Silicone with an ABS plastic slider
  • Colour: Red
  • Body safe? Yes – silicone is body-safe and non-porous.
  • Power: N/A
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 5.5″ in total length.
  • Lube compatible: Yes, water-based and oil-based.
  • Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water, boiling, or a 10% bleach solution.
Adjustable cock ring from Lovehoney adult advent calendar for couples

A quick primer for beginners: the purpose of a cock ring is to restrict blood flow out of an erect penis. Some people report that cock rings help them to keep an erection for longer, make their penis feel harder, and provide extra pleasure for the wearer by increasing sensitivity. Some people believe they also help with erectile dysfunction, though research on this is spotty.

Cock rings sometimes come with vibrations and all kinds of fun additional features, but this one is as straightforward as it gets. Just slide it on and you’re good to go.

The beauty of this simple cock ring is that it’s completely adjustable and will fit all penis sizes. Simply press the easy-to-use button on the slider, and tug on the loop end to loosen or the tail ends to tighten. It’s also stretchy, so you can put it on before you’re fully hard and it will stretch to comfortably accommodate your erection.

Woman adjusting the Lovehoney cock ring from the Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar

The silicone is comfortable enough to wear once it’s in place, but is quite “grabby” on the skin as you slide it on. Apply water-based lube to the ring and/or to your penis before you put it on.

If you’ve never worn a cock ring before, experiment with different placements. Try it around the base of your penis in front of the balls, or behind the balls for an extra squeeze. Different people have different preferences, so see what feels best for you. Using this adjustable cock ring should not hurt. If you feel pain, readjust or stop.

Godemiche Adam glitter dildo with adjustable cock ring
Feat. Godemiche Adam dildo in Effulgence Blood Red

If you’ve never used a cock ring before, then this one is a great place to start. You can start off with a looser fit and experiment to see which placing and what level of tightness feels best. Simple but effective, plus durable and long-lasting. Similar rings retail on Lovehoney for around £9.99.

Day 3: Starry Eyed Blindfold

This sex toy advent calendar set is aimed at a pairing of one penis owner and one vulva owner (sort out the gendered language, Lovehoney, please!) But many of the items are unisex and can be enjoyed by people with all sorts of bodies.

Let’s sneak a peek behind Door #3…

Sex toy advent calendar for couples door 3 with blindfold description

Behind Door #3 is a red blindfold with little star and Lovehoney heart insignia embellishments. It’s a limited edition variation on the Lovehoney Oh! Blindfold, which has an RRP of £5.99. The aesthetic is cute and a little festive (which makes sense, given this set is a Christmas release).

Starry Eyed Bondage Blindfold from Lovehoney

The Starry Eyed Blindfold is satin on the outside and some sort of soft, fuzzy material on the inside, and has black elastic straps to hold it in place. It feels soft, plushy, and comfortable to wear. The fabric is pretty cheap and already starting to pull at the edges and some of the stitching is coming loose after a trial run, though, so I don’t expect it to last all that long.

Satin BDSM blindfold fabric stitching coming undone

Blindfolds are a staple of kinky play for many people. This is for a couple of reasons. First, some believe that blocking out one sense heightens the others. Second, not knowing what your partner is going to do next adds an extra layer of excitement and anticipation if you’re playing with power in some way.

This blindfold isn’t really quite big enough to block vision completely. However I position it, I can see out of the top or bottom at least a little bit. It also lets quite a lot of light in. If you want complete sensory deprivation, you’ll be disappointed (try a Mindfold or similar for that!)

But this whole set is really for beginners, so I’m trying to approach it through that lens. If you’re brand new to playing with any kind of BDSM, this blindfold is a fine low-intensity starting point to see if you enjoy sensory deprivation and want to explore it further. Want to kick things up a notch? Try adding earplugs or combining your blindfold with light bondage.

Bondage blindfold from Lovehoney

I don’t think this blindfold is going to be a bedroom staple for me. However, it does double nicely as a sleep mask, so that’s something.

Day 4: Sex Dice

Though this sex toy advent calendar set is gendered (I really wish they’d stop doing that!) and assumes a cisgender, heterosexual couple, many of the items can be used by people of all genders and body types.

So what’s behind Door #4?

Door #4 contains a pair of sex dice. The first die names a different body part on each side, and the second names various actions to do to those body parts. The idea is that you take turns to roll, then do the actions you land on.

Set of sex dice for foreplay from Lovehoney advent calendar

I’ve never really got the point of the whole “sex dice” thing, personally. I can see that they maybe make sense, in a certain light, if you’re brand new to exploring each others’ bodies. I can also see these being a useful starting point for a couple who are struggling to communicate about their likes and desires, or for those who like plenty of laughs alongside their moans. But the whole system just feels too contrived and gamified to be sexy to me. I’d rather just communicate and do what feels good, personally.

But your mileage may vary! And if this seems like a useful way in (or the idea of being dommed by a pair of dice feels hot to you), then have at it.

The actual acts on these dice are fine, if a little unimaginative. They mostly involve doing different things with your mouth (lick, blow, nibble, kiss) or occasionally hands (massage) to the most common erogenous zones (penis/clitoris, nipples, inner thigh, butt, neck).

Sex dice for couples, foreplay dice from adult advent calendar

The nature of this sort of game means you do occasionally get baffling combinations or those that wouldn’t work for a lot of people. I do NOT want anyone nibbling my clitoris, thank you. Ouch! But if you get a combo that doesn’t work for you, you can always just reroll.

Perfectly fine, but not really my thing.

Door 5: Slimline Silicone Butt Plug

Despite the annoyingly gendered marketing, many of the items in this sex toy advent calendar set are suitable for folks of any gender and with any body parts. Let’s open up Door #5, shall we?

Today’s surprise is a slimline silicone butt plug. Let’s start with some quick basic details:

  • Material: Silicone.
  • Colour: Black.
  • Body safe? Yes – silicone is body-safe and non-porous. This also means it’s safe to share this plug with a partner as long as you sterilise it properly between uses.
  • Power: N/A
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 4.5″ in total length, 1.3″ in diameter at widest point.
  • Lube compatible: Yes, water-based and oil-based.
  • Cleaning: Boiling or a 10% bleach solution.
Black silicone butt plug

The gently tapered design and slim neck make this plug easy to insert and comfortable to wear, and the silicone is soft and high quality. It is middling-firm to the touch, with some flex towards the tip and plenty of flex in the neck.

The cool thing about this butt plug is that it features a sling style base, allowing you to use it in conjuction with the bullet vibrator from day 1. You’ll need to push quite firmly to get the vibe into the sleeve, but once it’s in it stays put securely. It will also pair with any slim bullet vibe you have in your collection.

Black silicone butt plug with red bullet vibrator

The silicone transmits vibrations very effectively on all settings, allowing you to experiment with a range of anal play sensations. Whether you use the plug on its own or with the vibe, don’t forget to use tonnes of lube. I recommend a thick water-based lube designed for anal play, such as Sliquid Sassy.

Lovehoney bullet vibrator and black silicone vibrating butt plug

This is a great butt plug for beginners or toybag staple for more experienced folks. Use it by itself for anal exploration, or leave it in while you do other things such as hand sex, oral sex, or penetrative play.

Yes, Door #5 is a winner!

Day 6: Kegel Balls

This sex toy advent calendar set assumes that couples consist of a “man and woman” (i.e. penis owner and vulva owner, because cis-centric gendered marketing is still annoyingly a thing). But in reality, many of the items are suitable for all genders and types of bodies.

So what will we find behind Door #6?

Kegel balls in sex toy advent calendar for couples

Kegel balls, also known as Ben-wa balls, are fascinating. These small balls, designed to sit inside the vagina, come with a tonne of intense claims as to their benefits, but very little robust science to back those claims up. I dived into the available literature (there isn’t much) a while back, but here’s the short version:

The claims: Kegel balls strengthen the pelvic floor, help prevent or fix urinary incontinence, improve sexual satisfaction, and make it easier to orgasm.

The reality: Eh…. maybe? Research on the incontinence thing is limited and contradictory in its findings, and there’s virtually no evidence one way or the other (beyond anecdotal) for the “improved sexual pleasure” thing.

So what’s the point of kegel balls, then? As a sexuality writer without any background in medicine or gynecology, I approach kegel balls as a sex toy rather than a health and wellness product. And from that perspective, there’s a great reason to use them: they can feel good!

Silicone kegel balls

With that out of the way, let’s dive into the review, shall we?

  • Material: Both the balls and their sling are silicone.
  • Colour: Red balls, black sling.
  • Body safe? Yes. Silicone is body-safe, hygienic, and non-porous.
  • Power: N/A
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 3″ insertable with a 4″ tail. Each ball is 1.2″ in diameter.
  • Lube compatible: Yes, water-based and oil-based lubes are fine.
  • Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water, boiling, or a 10% bleach solution.

This set consists of two kegel balls fitted into a silicone sling. The nice thing about this design is that you can use the balls on their own (together or one at a time) or with the sling. The sling features a long tail for easy retrieval.

Some people use kegel balls anally, but I really, really don’t recommend it. One of the balls could easily come loose from the sling and get stuck. These are for vaginal use only.

Kegel balls from Lovehoney for kegel exercises

You can use kegel balls in a few different ways. Here are some I suggest you might want to try:

  • Wear them for an hour or so before you have sex to heighten arousal and get yourself in the mood.
  • Wear them as you go about your day for a little thrill of sexual excitement each time you move. Start with a short amount of time and build up to longer wear if you want to, and stop immediately if you feel pain or discomfort.
  • If you’re into anal play, wear kegel balls in your vagina while you do butt stuff for additional pleasure.
Silicone kegel balls black and red from Lovehoney

However you explore with them, use plenty of lube and always clean them thoroughly between uses. Not keeping them clean (or inserting them with dirty hands) could lead to an infection.

This is a nice enough set of beginner-friendly kegel balls. Unlike some I’ve tried, they’re not weighted and don’t have any moving parts inside, so the stimulation they provide is very gentle. This isn’t a criticism, it’s just… a thing worth bearing in mind. They’re small enough to be non-intimidating, made of a body-safe and easy-clean material, and are comfortable to insert and easy to retrieve. A worthy addition to the calendar!

Day 7: Beaded Stroker

This sex toy advent calendar set of 24 sex toys and sex-related surprises is aimed primarily at couples who are newer to sex toys, and assumes one penis owner and one vulva owner, though many of the items are usable by anyone.

So what do we have closing out week 1?

Beaded stroker in Lovehoney sex toy advent calendar

Today’s product is a beaded stroker for people with penises. Here’s a quick rundown of the details:

  • Material: “Soft plastic”, which I think means some kind of TPE or TPR.
  • Colour: Semi-translucent black.
  • Body safe? Dubious. Lovehoney claims this material does not contain phthalates, but it is definitely porous. I’m less leery about porous materials for external-only toys such as strokers, but it’s less than ideal. It probably won’t hurt you but it won’t stay hygienic for very long so don’t expect it to last forever.
  • Power: N/A
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 5″ in total length, very stretchy.
  • Lube compatible: I suggest you only use water-based lube with this one.
  • Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water. The porous material means this one will never get 100% clean, so don’t sterilise it and expect to replace it after a few uses.
Penis masturbator stroker

This stroker contains two rows of small metal beads designed to stimulate the shaft of the penis as you masturbate (or give your partner a hand job). These offer a different and interesting sensation from a regular stroker or using your hand.

Don’t be fooled by the Beaded Stroker’s small opening – it’s very stretchy and flexible and will accommodate dicks of most sizes. Here it is around the large and girthy Godemiche Adam to illustrate my point:

Godemiche Adam red silicone dildo with Lovehoney beaded stroker

You’ll definitely need to use plenty of lube regardless of your size. This material is quite grabby when it’s not properly lubricated, and that can cause the wrong kind of friction. If you’ve got a foreskin, be especially careful, as using a stroker without sufficient lube can cause it to pull back too far (ouch).

Speaking from the giver’s perspective, using a stroker can ease pressure on your wrist and make it easier to jerk your partner off for longer without discomfort. Win-win!

This toy seems to be a variation on Lovehoney’s BASICS Beaded Stroker, which retails for £12.99. It’s perfectly fine as an introduction to masturbators for individuals and couples who are newer to sex toys. If you enjoy using it, though, I really suggest that you invest in a silicone stroker. This will last far longer as well as being safer and more hygienic.

Day 8: Spanking Paddle

It’s the start of the second week of this sex toy advent calendar unboxing, and we’re about to open Door #8…

Mini spanking paddle in adult advent calendar door

We’re getting a little kinky today, with Door 8 revealing a mini spanking paddle. The paddle is red and made of a satiny material on one side, adorned with starts and Lovehoney hearts to match last week’s blindfold. The other side is a leather-like material. I think this is faux rather than of animal origin, but I wouldn’t swear to that. It measures 9″ in total length, not including the black ribbon loop, and 2″ across at the widest point. Its main body is firm with a very small amount of flex.

Lovehoney spanking paddle for BDSM hanging on wall

This paddle’s bark is worse than its bite, so to speak. It makes an impressively loud slapping noise (something to be aware of if you have family or roommates at home!) but the sensation it delivers is pretty gentle. The satin side offers a gentler sensation (great for sensation play, if pain isn’t your thing) and the leather side is slightly more bitey.

Woman holding mini spanking paddle

I say the above with the awareness that pain is entirely subjective and everyone’s experience is different. I enjoy pain sometimes, but I’m not a hardcore masochist by any stretch. The best way to figure out how painful something is for you or your partner is to start out with a few light swats and then build up to your desired level from there. If you want a gentle tickle without any real “ouch” behind it, this paddle can offer that. If you want a more intense sting, you’ll have to put some power behind it or switch to a harder paddle.

As a spanking paddle for complete BDSM beginners and people who prefer the less ouchy kind of kink, it’s fine. I’m not convinced it will last very long in good condition or stand up to any kind of hard play, but it’s also cute, non-threatening, and safe to use as long as you communicate and exercise a little common sense.

Day 9: Vanilla Scented Candle

Vanilla scented candle in Lovehoney advent calendar

Behind Door #9 of Lovehoney’s 2021 sex toy advent calendar is a vanilla scented candle designed to set the mood for a romantic evening and fill your room with a lovely vanilla fragrance. The scent is pretty strong, so you might want to skip this one if you have any kind of fragrance sensitivity. Assuming you like the smell of vanilla, it’s pleasant enough and not too “artificial” smelling.

Vanilla scented soy wax candle for BDSM

Is this candle safe for wax play?

Being the kinky fucker that I am, my thought when I see a candle in a sex-related context is less “romantic mood lighting” and more “drip it on my skin!” So is this candle suitable for wax play (a BDSM activity involving dripping melted candle wax on your partner or yourself)?

Short answer: I can’t see any reason why not.

This candle contains just two ingredients: soy wax and vanilla bean fragrance. Soy wax is very popular for wax play because it has a fairly low melting point – typically 120-160°F (49-71°C) – and cools quickly on contact with the skin. Additives such as fragrances and colourants can impact the melting point significantly so if you want to experiment with wax play, it’s safest to buy bondage candles rather than just using anything you have lying around at home.

I tried out this candle on my arm to assess its wax play potential. Dropped from a height of about 8 inches, the wax was just slightly warm when it hit my skin and cooled in a flash. Obviously, the lower the height, the warmer the wax will be. But from a temperature perspective, this candle seems pretty safe. Assuming you’re not allergic or sensitive to soy and fragrances, you should be fine.

Arm with candle wax from BDSM wax play

Actually, the biggest issue with this candle from a wax play perspective is that the tin gets warm when it’s been lit for a while. So if you want to use it for that, I suggest you do so as quickly after lighting it as possible.

Be aware that soy wax can be a little sticky, so leave time for clean up. Also, the scent clings to skin quite strongly! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go and sniff my currently vanilla-scented arm some more…

Day 10: Jewelled Butt Plug

Description of jewelled butt plug in Lovehoney sex toy advent calendar

Today’s sex toy advent calendar door contains the second anal toy in this collection so far: a metal jewelled butt plug.

  • Material: “Metal” (unspecified, likely an alloy of some description.)
  • Colour: Gold body with a red gem base.
  • Body safe? Likely yes. Metal toys are non-porous and broadly non-toxic. Many metal alloy toys contain nickel, though, so avoid it if you’re allergic or sensitive.
  • Power: N/A
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 3″ in total length, 1.1″ in diameter at widest point.
  • Lube compatible: Yes, water-based, oil-based, or silicone-based lubes are all fine.
  • Cleaning: A body-safe medical wipe or a 10% bleach solution. I wouldn’t boil it as this might damage the glue holding the gem in place.
Jewelled butt plug gem base

This plug is surprisingly light for a metal piece, so don’t go in expecting the heft and weight of a stainless steel toy. Its classic butt plug shape with tapered tip makes it easy to insert and comfortable to wear, while the narrow neck and broad base hold it safely and securely in place. You might find that the base digs into your butt cheeks after a while, so this probably isn’t a plug for all-day wear.

The bright red gem in the base is super pretty if you (like me) enjoy sparkly things. The red and gold colour scheme matches the rest of the set’s aesthetic and is pleasingly seasonal.

Hot (or cold) tip: experiment with temperature by popping your plug in the fridge for a few minutes or running it under warm water before use. Just remember that for anal play, tonnes of lube is essential.

A cute and playful plug for beginners to anal play or anyone who enjoys smaller yet rigid butt toys.

Day 11: Mini G-Spot Vibrator

Lovehoney sex toy advent calendar description of G-spot vibe

This is the first vibrating toy in this sex toy advent calendar since Day 1’s bullet vibrator. Exciting! Let’s start with a few basic stats:

  1. Material: ABS plastic
  2. Colour: Black.
  3. Body safe? Yes. ABS plastic is non-porous and non-toxic.
  4. Power: 1 AA battery (not included).
  5. Waterproof: No.
  6. Size: 5″ in length, 1″ in diameter.
  7. Lube compatible: Yes, all kinds.
  8. Cleaning: Body-safe sterile wipe.

This plastic G-spot vibrator features a straight handle and curved, gently tapered tip for precision stimulation. If you prefer girthy toys or very deep stimulation, it won’t do much for you, but for basic vibrating G-spot action it’s perfectly serviceable.

Battery powered G-spot vibrator or clit vibrator

I don’t love that it requires adisposable battery, partly for environmental reasons (rechargeable toys are so much more eco-friendly) and partly because having to hunt around for batteries before a masturbation sesh is super annoying. But to be fair, if anyone reads the small print on the advent calendar’s box, it does warn you that you’ll need a battery for one of the items. Inserting and changing the battery is easy. Simply unscrew the top and bottom halves of the toy, pop your battery in, and screw it back up again.

How to open the Lovehoney mini G-spot vibrator

The controls are a simple twist mechanism. Turn until the little arrow on the side points to “on” or “off”. This vibe has only one speed. It’s actually reasonable, power-wise, for a one-AA-battery basic vibe, though much buzzier than I prefer. Volume-wise, it’s not too bad, though it does make a slight “rattly” noise when I press it hard against my body.

If, like me, you find that internal vibrations don’t do much for you, this G-spot vibrator also works well as a clitoral toy. Use the side of the shaft for broad stimulation and the tip for more precision. Of course, it’s also good for penises, balls, and anywhere else where vibrations feel good. (Not butts, though – this toy is not anal safe).

Day 12: Penis Stroker

Behind Door #12 of Lovehoney’s sex toy advent calendar is a stroker for people with penises. (It’s called a “male stroker” on the box. Lovehoney, I love you but please sort out the unnecessarily gendered language for next year!)

  • Material: Some kind of soft plastic, most likely TPE/TRP.
  • Colour: White.
  • Body safe? Kinda. The box indicates these strokers do not contain any phthalates, but the material is super porous. They’re safe enough for external use but won’t last very long.
  • Power: N/A
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 2.5″ in length but SUPER stretchy.
  • Lube compatible: Water-based only, according to the instructions.
  • Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water. This material is porous so you won’t be able to get it fully clean. Consider it fluid-bonded to the person who uses it. I’d also suggest you throw it out after a few uses or if the material starts to degrade.
Lovehoney penis stroker or male stroker

This specific product doesn’t seem to be available by itself, but it is very similar to the strokers you get in Tenga Eggs. It is textured inside and designed to fit over the head of the penis and then stretch as you masturbate your (or your partner’s) penis.

It’s very stretchy and pretty strong, so it will accommodate a wide range of sizes and you don’t need to worry about ripping it. It comes pre-lubricated, but adding extra water-based lube will only make your experience more enjoyable.

Lovehoney penis stroker on Godemiche Adam silicone dildo
Feat. Godemiche Adam dildo in Effulgence Blood Red

How does it feel? Let’s just say I got a very good response from an initially-sceptical Mr C&K. If you usually masturbate with your hand, strokers can be a brilliant way to change things up and add a new sensation. And if you enjoy hand sex with a partner, a textured penis stroker can turn a good hand job into an amazing hand job.

If you get this kit and enjoy using this stroker, I’d suggest swapping out to a more durable (preferably silicone) one when you can. Failing that, Tenga Eggs are pretty affordable at £9.99 so you can just replace them frequently.

Day 13: Wrist Restraints

We’re over half way now! It’s Day 13 of the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar, which I’m unboxing and reviewing day by day.

Lovehoney wrist restraints for bondage

Behind Door #13, we have a set of black ribbon wrist restraints. They seem to be a slight variation on the Lovehoney Oh! Silky Bondage Restraints (RRP £8.99).

They’re… glorified ribbons, honestly. Each one has a little loop at each end to make restraint easier and is decorated with a red and gold Lovehoney heart, but other than that they’re just black ribbons of the sort you’d find in any craft store.

Lovehoney bondage restraints

Tying people up with silky items like ribbons, ties, and scarves is a divisive subject amongst kinksters. Some say it’s fine, but many educators believe it’s dangerous. This is because these materials can easily tighten when pressure is applied, making them harder to untie if you’re using knots or even cutting off circulation if they’re left on for long enough.

If you want to use these restraints for a light BDSM or roleplay activity like tying your partner to the bed, that’s probably fine if you follow some basic safety protocols:

  • Tie them loosely. You should always be able to get at least two fingers between the ribbon and the skin.
  • Don’t use them for any kind of weight-bearing activity (the bound person shouldn’t pull hard against them, either).
  • Keep a pair of safety shears to hand in case you need to cut them off.
  • Never, ever leave a bound person alone. No, not even for a minute.
Lovehoney bondage restraints for kink and BDSM

Honestly, though, if restraint is your thing just get some proper cuffs or some bondage rope and learn how to use it safely (via online tutorials, books, peer rope sessions, or classes with reputable teachers).

This one’s a miss for me. Packaging up lightly branded basic ribbons as “bondage restraints” (and dubiously safe ones at that) just doesn’t sit right with me.

Day 14: Adjustable Nipple Clamps

We’ve reached the end of the second week! After today, there are only ten days left to go of Lovehoney’s sex toy advent calendar 2021.

Lovehoney adjustable nipple clamps in sex toy advent calendar

Behind Door #14 we have a set of nipple clamps. This set is a limited edition colourway version of the Lovehoney Tease Me Adjustable Nipple Clamps (RRP £12.99). They are gold in colour with red silicone tips, and finished with little charms shaped like the Lovehoney heart insignia.

My first reaction on opening this window was “oooh, they’re cute!” And they are. The red and gold is a pretty colour combination of the sort that I can see myself wearing to a very adult Christmas party! But how functional are they?

Lovehoney nipple clamps

These clamps are easy to put on and take off. Simply move the slider down to open them up, pop them into position, and move the slider up again to secure them in place.

The point of adjustable nipple clamps is to fit a wide range of nipple sizes (and offer variable pressure levels). But these really won’t work for anyone with large nipples. My nipples are on the smaller side, considering that I have G-cup boobs, and I still had to open the clamps all the way to get them on.

They stayed on reasonably well when I was just moving around normally, but they pop off with the slightest tug. So if you like the idea of your partner pulling on them during sex, look elsewhere.

Lovehoney adjustable nipple clamps for beginners

As far as how they feel, these clamps are going to be very, very gentle for the vast majority of wearers. And that might be exactly what you want! Wearing clamps purely for decoration or a very slight squeezing sensation is totally valid. But if you’re looking for a more intense pinch or for that rush of delicious pain when the clamps come off, these are likely to disappoint.

The quality also isn’t great. I’ve tried these clamps just a couple of times and already, some of the gold-coloured plating is starting to come off.

Cute, yes. But they’re not especially functional and they won’t last very long. They’re fine for a night or two of wear in the bedroom or out at the club. But if you’re looking for something more intense or durable, you might want to consider tweezer clamps or clover clamps instead.

Day 15: Silicone Anal Beads

Here we are in the third week of the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar. There have been a few hits, a few misses, and a few in-betweens so far.

Behind Door #15, we have a set of silicone anal beads.

  • Material: Silicone.
  • Colour: Black.
  • Body safe? Yes. Silicone is hygienic (essential for anal toys in particular), non-toxic, and non-porous.
  • Power: No inbuilt power but it pairs with a bullet vibrator (see more further down).
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 6″ in total length, 5″ insertable. Beads range in diameter from 0.9″ to 1.2″.
  • Lube compatible: Water-based or oil-based lubes will work.
  • Cleaning: Sterilise with a 10% bleach solution or by boiling.

I’m impressed with today’s offering. These anal beads are made of soft and silky matte silicone and are well-designed to make for easy and comfortable insertion, even for complete beginners. Remember to always use tonnes of lube for anal play and if anything hurts, stop immediately. Anal can feel intense, but it is not supposed to hurt.

You can use these beads on their own, or pair them with the bullet vibrator behind Door #1 (or any small bullet in your collection – it pairs particularly well with the We-Vibe Tango!) The silicone transmits vibrations well along the length of the beads and into the tip, even on lower settings.

Anal beads are versatile. They can form the main event of a play session, or you can wear them during sex or masturbation for added stimulation. Some people swear by pulling them out at the point of climax, claiming that this increases orgasmic contractions and increases pleasure. Your mileage may vary but if that sounds fun to you, why not give it a go?

Day 16: Menthol Pleasure Balm

With only 9 days of the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar to go, I feel like we’re into the home stretch now.

Tin of Lovehoney menthol pleasure balm

Behind Door #16 is a small tin of Lovehoney’s menthol “pleasure balm”. The idea is that when you apply a small amount to external erogenous zones, such as the clitoris or nipples, it increases sensitivity to enhance your pleasure. It’s very similar to the Bliss Orgasm Balm I reviewed last year.

Lovehoney’s pleasure balm is made of primarily plant-derived ingredients including sweet almond oil, grape seed oil, shea butter, cocoa, avocado oil, and wheat extract. It does also contain beeswax, so you might want to avoid this one if you’re vegan. I’m not a scientist by any stretch, but I can’t see anything alarming from a health or safety perspective in the ingredients list as long as you don’t have any allergies or sensitivities to any of the ingredients.

Tin of Lovehoney orgasm balm

Everyone will react differently to things like this. It works really well for me! The cool, tingly sensation is quite intense and it definitely makes my clitoral orgasms both easier to reach and more explosive. It’s not a magic cure-all for orgasm difficulties, of course. But if a little extra sensitivity helps you, then this could be just the thing. And of course, even if you don’t struggle to orgasm, it can always be fun to play with new and different sensations!

You only get 7g in the tin, but a little goes a long way with this stuff. I really only needed a small dab to get the full effects. It also lasts well, so constant reapplication isn’t necessary.

The pleasure balm has a white creamy consistency that melts to an oily liquid when you rub it between your fingers or massage it into your skin. It has a distinctive but pleasant minty smell. Be aware that if you’re using it during oral sex, you’ll definitely be able to taste it. It’s for external use only, so don’t use it inside your vagina or butt.

My biggest complaint? The little tin is really hard to open! I’ve found that squeezing it between my palms and then twisting is the best way. But struggling to open a tin without interrupting the flow of your sex or masturbation session is a pain.

Otherwise? Love this stuff. I’ll definitely be buying more when this little tin runs out.

Day 17: Rabbit Cock Ring

Today’s offering in Lovehoney’s 2021 sex toy advent calendar is a rabbit cock ring. It can be used alone, but to get the most out of it you’ll want to pair it with the bullet vibe found in Door #1 or any other bullet vibe in your collection. The ring sits around the penis, restricting blood flow out of the wearer’s erection, while the rabbit ears tickle the receptive partner’s clitoris. It looks a little something like this:

Silicone rabbit cock ring for couples

Here are the basic facts and stats:

  • Material: Silicone.
  • Colour: Black.
  • Body safe? Yes. Silicone is non-porous, hygienic, and body-safe.
  • Power: No inbuilt power, use with any bullet vibe.
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 3.5″ in total length. Ears measure 1″. Diameter of opening is 1.5″ without stretching.
  • Lube compatible: Yes, water-based or oil-based lubes are compatible.
  • Cleaning: Boiling or a 10% bleach solution for a full clean.

I really like this cock ring. It is stretchy enough to fit the vast majority of penis sizes, but strong enough to provide a pleasurable squeeze and stay securely in place.

The rabbit ears really make this one for me. The silicone transmits vibrations well, and the fluttering from the ears feels amazing against my clit.

I’ll be honest: I rarely orgasm from using this kind of toy during penetrative sex. That’s because, once you add any kind of thrusting into the mix, the clitoral stimulation is too eratic and inconsistent to get me off. But that doesn’t mean the extra sensation isn’t very welcome.

I can honestly see myself using this ring separately for clitoral masturbation as well as for partnered sex. Those ears are just that good, especially when paired with a high powered bullet like the Blush Nocturnal (pictured here):

Silicone rabbit cock ring with Blush Nocturnal powerful bullet vibrator

If you’re a penis owner, you could also use this ring for masturbation either by itself or with a bullet. Try turning the ears around so they tickle your balls, if that sounds hot to you.

A versatile toy that is a great addition to this kit.

Day 18: Pom Pom Tickler

We’re less than a week from the end of this sex toy advent calendar adventure now!

Door #18 contains what Lovehoney are calling a “pom pom tickler”. It’s essentially a red pom pom in some kind of soft and fluffy material attached to a black velcro ring.

Lovehoney red pom pom tickler for sensation play

Sensation play can be a lot of fun either as part of sex or as an activity in and of itself. Try running the tickler along sensitive places, from your partner’s sides to their inner thighs or even the soles of their feet. This pom pom tickler is soft enough that you can even use it on places like faces and genitals.

Sensation play can be intense. Even though it doesn’t usually involve pain, it is a form of kink. And tickling can be a hyper-intense activity or even a hard limit for some people. So check in regularly with your partner and make sure you have their active, ongoing consent.

Optionally, you might want to consider combining sensation play with restraints (proper rope or cuffs, not those horrible “wrist restraint” ribbons from Day 13!)

Lovehoney pom pom tickler for sensation kink

My only concern with the pom pom tickler is I’m not really sure how easy it is to clean. You might be able to wash it in some warm water and then let it dry thoroughly, but you’re never going to get it completely sterile again. So if you get any kind of bodily fluids on it, I recommend considering it fluid bonded to that person.

Day 19: Vanilla Massage Oil

Door #19 of Lovehoney’s sex toy advent calendar 2021 contains a bottle of vanilla-scented massage oil. This simple formula contains just four ingredients:

  • Ethylhexyl palmite, a common skincare ingredient that functions as an emollient, solvent, and fragrance fixative, according to The Derm Review.
  • Caprylic/capric triglyceride, which is derived from coconut oil and glycerine according to The Soap Kitchen and is widely recognised as safe for topical use.
  • Isopropyl myristate, a thickening agent or moisturiser commonly found in cosmetics. Reports suggest it can cause skin irritation in a minority of people (usually those with existing skin conditions) but is widely considered safe for cosmetic use.
  • Parfum, a mysterious concoction of synthetic fragrances designed to make the product smell good. Many people recommend avoiding products with this “ingredient” (actually potentially a mix of ingredients) as we don’t know exactly what’s in it. I can’t tell you whether to avoid these products or not. I generally use them without too much concern and have never had a problem, but your mileage (and tolerance for long-term risk) may vary.
Lovehoney vanilla massage oil ingredients

You get 30ml in this little bottle of vanilla massage oil. You only need a few drops to get decent skin coverage, but it does dry out quite quickly once you start massaging. You’ll get maybe 3-4 massages out of this bottle, depending on how generously you want to apply it.

The scent is very strong and distinctively vanilla. It’s a little artificial, but not unpleasant. Be aware that the scent really lingers on your skin so unless you’re going to take a shower straight after, you might smell of vanilla for the rest of the day.

By the way: make sure the lid is on properly when you’re done! Ask me why there’s massage oil all over my desk…

Massages can be a fun precursor to sex, a form of aftercare, or even a way to connect physically and intimately with your partner without involving your genitals. A nice scented massage oil can add a little extra sense of indulgence to the experience.

If you like this massage oil, you can get a bottle of Lovehoney’s Oh! Vanilla Massage Oil for £5.99 when this one runs out. The Oh! oil seems to contain more natural ingredients and nothing mysterious like the above-mentioned “parfum”.

Day 20: G-Spot Dildo

We’re down to the last few days!

Black silicone dildo, G-spot dildo from Lovehoney

Behind today’s sex toy advent calendar door is a mini G-spot dildo. I’ll start, as usual, with a rundown of the basic stats:

  • Material: Silicone.
  • Colour: Black.
  • Body safe? Yes. Silicone is body-safe and non-porous.
  • Power: No motor, but pairs with a bullet vibe if you wish.
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 5.5″ total length, 5″ insertable, 1.2″ in diameter at the widest point.
  • Lube compatible: Water-based or oil-based lubes will work fine.
  • Cleaning: Boiling or a 10% bleach solution will clean it completely.

This dildo has a hole in the base where you can insert a bullet vibe. This means it is very flexible to about halfway up the shaft, after which the silicone becomes firmer.

Base of the Lovehoney G-spot dildo which you can use with a bullet vibrator

You can use your G-spot dildo with the bullet that came in Door #1, or any suitably sized bullet vibe in your collection. I found it worked well with the Blush Nocturnal or We-Vibe Tango X!

Rabbit cock ring with black G-spot dildo
I also teamed it with the rabbit cock ring from a few days ago, just for fun!

The very gentle curve and bulbed head offer comfortable insertion and G-spot targeting. Though this toy is billed as a G-spot dildo, you could also use it as an anal dildo. The flared base makes it safe and, if you have a prostate, the curved tip is ideal for prostate stimulation.

Small silicone dildo for G-spot

Size lovers may not find this dildo large enough to satisfy. But if you’re new to insertable toys, want something you can use for warm-up, or just prefer smaller or slimmer toys, you can’t go wrong with this one.

Day 21: Massager

The 21st door of Lovehoney’s 2021 sex toy advent calendar contains a star-shaped plastic massager, presumably designed to be used with the massage oil from two days ago (the ordering here is a little weird. I’d have put them on consecutive days, but okay). It’s red with silver glitter, tying in with the festive theme of this whole set.

The massager measures 6″ across from point to opposite point, and each arm is around 2″ in length. It’s very light, and the shape makes it easy and comfortable to hold. If you enjoy giving massages but find that your hands or wrists get tired, a massager like this can help. You can use all five points at once for an all-over massage, or tilt it and use one end to focus on a smaller area.

This one is a surprising winner for me. It’s sitting on my desk at the moment and I’ve found myself reaching for it to get the knots out of my temperamental neck and shoulders and relieve my I-spend-too-long-sitting-at-a-computer upper back pain. The rigidity allows you to get deeply into those sore muscles. With this thing, I can get the kind of deep tissue massage that is sort of painful but in a really good way.

Lovehoney massager for couples review

Exchanging massages can be a lovely way to connect physically with your partner, whether or not they lead to sex. Massage can also be a great way to show love to someone whose love language is physical touch.

Day 22: Penis Sleeve

With only three days to go, we’re definitely into the home stretch of this sex toy advent calendar adventure now! So what’s behind Door #22?

Lovehoney textured penis sleeve

I’ve had a wide range of feelings about the items in this advent calendar, ranging from very positive to “ugh, seriously?” But today is the first one that has genuinely, seriously annoyed me! Let’s take a look at this stretchy penis sleeve and find out why I’m going “aaaaahhhhhh no!”

  • Material: A jelly-like “soft plastic”, possibly TPE.
  • Colour: Clear.
  • Body safe? No. More on why below.
  • Power: N/A.
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 4″ total length, very stretchy.
  • Lube compatible: Should work with any kind of lube.
  • Cleaning: You really can’t clean this material. Gentle soap and warm water will clean surface dirt but since it’s porous, it’ll never be entirely clean again.
Lovehoney textured penis extender

The basic idea of a penis sleeve like this is that you stretch it over your penis before penetrative sex. The bumps and nodules supposedly offer additional stimulation to the receptive partner, while helping the wearer to “last longer”, presumably by reducing the sensations they can feel.

Setting aside all the problems with the ubiquitous idea that a penis owner’s job is to “last” as long as possible during sex, the premise of this toy pisses me off. Sure, wearing a penis sleeve might mean you don’t come as quickly (or at all, until you take it off). Why? Because you can’t fucking feel anything!

I also seriously question how much these little jelly bumps and ridges are going to do for the person being penetrated. They’re not really pronounced enough to have the effect of, say, a highly textured dildo. I suspect the effect, for most people, will be little more than that of one of those “ribbed for her pleasure” condoms (i.e. basically nothing.)

Then we get into the safety issue. The website and packaging insists this penis sleeve doesn’t contain phthalates, so let’s take that at face value. But phthalates aren’t the only reason to be wary of jelly-like, “soft plastic” and TPE/TPR sex toys. According to toxic toy expert Dangerous Lilly, these materials are often softened with mineral oils and can contain other harmful chemicals besides phthalates. The material is also unstable and will begin to break down after a few months. (That myth about silicone toys melting together in storage? They won’t, but these mystery soft plastic toys likely will!)

Lovehoney penis sleeve on Godemiche Ambit silicone dildo
Feat. the Godemiche Ambit in a limited-edition Valentine’s Day design

This material is also extremely porous. I have mixed feelings about porous materials for external toys (TL;dr: probably okay for a few uses, but replace them often) but I NEVER recommend using them internally. Just from handling this penis sleeve, taking photos, and leaving it out on my desk overnight, it’s started to dull and get cloudy with lint, house dust, and the oils from my skin. You will NEVER get this thing clean, and it will harbour bacteria that could potentially give you a nasty infection. If you absolutely must use it for sex, please use it once and then throw it in the trash where it belongs.

Bottom line: I actually can’t tell you how it feels, because my partner and I both refuse to put this contraption anywhere near our genitals. Steer clear. I cannot stress enough how much I hate it. The fact that it’s included in a set that is fundamentally marketed at beginners, who may not know any better (because we don’t exactly get taught about toy safety in sex education), just makes it worse.

Day 23: Sex Position Cards

It’s the penultimate day of my foray into the Lovehoney’s “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar. After yesterday’s “aaaaahhhhh”-inducing offering, I was hoping that Day 23 might show a little more promise. Let’s open it up and find out.

Sex position cards box

Door #23 contains a set of sex position cards. There are 26 cards in total, with positions ranked “easy”, “medium”, or “difficult”. I think those rankings might be largely subjective, as all our bodies have their own strengths and weaknesses. But okay, I’ll run with it.

The deck begins with a card offering some safety tips. They’re pretty 101-level, which makes sense since this set is really aimed at beginners, but they’re solid: never leave a bound person alone, don’t tie someone too tightly, stop if something hurts, use a safeword, agree boundaries before you play. Cool. That’s basically the Safety & Consent 101 I’d want to give a complete beginner.

Sex position cards safety and instructions

Each position has a name, many of which are punny or otherwise amusing. (The Thigh’s The Limit, Clitar Hero, and Deep G Diving are a few highlights). Each card contains a picture of how to do the position, and a short description of why it’s fun or how to make it hotter. You also get a handy list of which types of stimulation the position is best for (clitoral, G-spot, penis, balls, etc.) and suggested toys or implements to use.

Sex position cards with easy sex positions
Sex position cards with medium difficulty sex position ideas
Sex position cards with difficult sex positions ideas

I have not, of course, tried every single position on these cards. Some of them are fairly basic positions with quirky names (“The Elevator” is just someone on their knees giving their partner oral sex) while others are somewhere between “why?” and “likely to be physiologically impossible unless one of you is a size four and the other is a gym-bunny.” But for gaining ideas and inspiration, they’re perfectly fine.

For some reason, I’m now thinking about this scene from The Bold Type where Jane, Kat and Sutton test out one of Sage’s sex positions to “verify it’s physically possible.”

Day 24: Womanizer Classic

We’ve made it!

Front of Womanizer suction vibrator for Womanizer Classic review

If you were expecting something big and exciting for Day 24, Lovehoney did not disappoint! Behind Door #24 of this sex toy advent calendar is a Womanizer Classic, one of the newer additions to the famed Womanizer line of clitoral stimulators. Let’s start with the basic rundown:

  • Material: ABS plastic body, silicone nozzle.
  • Colour: Pink body, white nozzle.
  • Body safe? Yes, completely. ABS plastic and silicone are both 100% body-friendly and non-porous.
  • Power: Rechargeable via the included magnetic cable.
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible. Suction toys offer a very different sensation underwater, so it’s worth trying to see if it works for you.
  • Size: The body is 6″ in total length. The nozzle opening is 0.7″.
  • Lube compatible: Use water-based or oil-based lubes with this one.
  • Cleaning: Wipe the body clean with a sterile wipe. Clean the removable nozzle by boiling it or popping it into a 10% bleach solution.

The Womanizer Classic is shaped very similarly to the Womanizer Premium, which you may recall I adored. The Classic model has slightly fewer features (none of the fancy Smart Silence or Auto Pilot stuff, and only 8 speeds instead of 12). But otherwise, it’s broadly much the same.

Womanizer Classic suction sex toy for Womanizer Classic review

Most importantly, it delivers those slow-build, leg-shakingly intense orgasms I’ve come to expect from Womanizer toys.

These toys all use patented “Pleasure Air” technology. The nozzle surrounds your clit and delivers stimulation through rapid air pulses. Sound too gentle? It’s not. It’s amazing.

The Womanizer Classic has three intuitively placed buttons: an on/off, and buttons to turn the speed up or down. They’re easy to press, and they’re different sizes so you can feel for the right one without needing to break your flow to look.

The only thing to be aware of is that it’s pretty loud at the higher settings. It gets a little quieter when the nozzle has a proper seal against your body, but it’s still got a distinctive sound. I don’t really care about discretion (“Goodnight, honey, I’m going to go masturbate” is a commonly used sentence in my house!) but your mileage may vary.

Womanizer Classic sex toy clitoral suction vibrator

One thing to be aware of as a beginner, is that suction sex toys do take a little getting used to. The sensations are quite different to a traditional vibrating toy, and it can take practice to figure out how it works best for you. So if you don’t get on with it the first time, I recommend giving it a few chances before you discount it.

Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” Sex Toy Advent Calendar: Conclusion & Final Thoughts

We made it! I reviewed every single item in the Lovehoney Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar over the last 24 days. Before I call it a wrap on this project, I wanted to provide a final review where I share my thoughts on the set as a whole.

Lovehoney Best Sex of Your Life sex toy advent calendar
Image: Lovehoney

Who is the Target Market?

The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar is aimed at couples, and specifically assumes a cisgender, heterosexual couple. I’m not a fan of gendered language or assumptions in sex toy marketing, since body parts don’t have inherent genders and products certainly don’t.

In the future, I’d like to see these calendars marketed according to what body parts they work with, rather than gendering things, which can be alienating for trans and non-binary people. I’d also like to see versions available for couples made up of two vulva-owners or two penis-owners.

Gendering aside, this set is very clearly designed to provide sex toys for beginners. Many of the items are super basic, which is mostly fine for its intended purpose.

This set is aimed at people who are new to exploring sex toys and different ways to connect intimately, so offering lots of different options and ideas is a great thing.

Best and Worst Of

The quality of the items in this set is wildly variable. There are a few things that are genuinely great quality and will probably last many years, like the silicone toys. A few that are fine for a use or two, but won’t last long, like the strokers. Some that are fine for complete beginners but “meh” for anyone with an iota of experience, like the kink gear. And the odd one that made me go “aaaaaahhhhh, no!”

So here’s my best and worst of roundup:

Best item: This is easy – definitely the Womanizer Classic from Day #24, a genuinely excellent clitoral suction toy that retails for £119.99 by itself.

Honourable mention: The bullet vibe from Day #1. Reasonable power, versatile (it pairs well with many of the other items in this set), and rechargeable.

Worst item: That damn penis sleeve from Day #22. Unsafe, unsanitary, and just overall not something I would ever recommend anyone puts near their genitals.

Honourable mention: The wrist ties from Day #13. Not only are they glorified basic satin ribbons, they also work in a way that is very dubiously safe for any but the lightest bondage.

So Is It Worth It?

Whether or not this kit is worth the money very much depends on what you want to get out of it. If you’re an experienced player looking to expand your sex toy collection, skip it and get one or two really good quality toys instead (might I suggest a Doxy or a We-Vibe Tango?)

If you and your partner are brand new to toys and looking to explore some basic things together, you might get a lot out of this set. Despite the variable quality, it offers possibilities and a kind of permission to try things out. And if something doesn’t work for you? No big deal, there are 23 other things to try.

If you’re specifically after a Womanizer Classic and think you might enjoy a few of the other items too, the Best Sex of Your Life set is a no-brainer. The Womanizer costs literally the same as this entire set, so you might as well snag a bargain.

You do get £370+ worth of products for £120 (and can get a further 10% off with my code “AFF-COFFKINK10”). So if you think there are at least a few things you’ll enjoy, it’s a good deal.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Excite Pleasure Balls

The first time I reviewed a set of pleasure balls (also known as kegel balls, ben-wa balls, or kegel exercisers,) I did a dive into the scientific literature concerning these are-they-a-sex-toy-or-are-they-a-wellness-product?

TL;DR: despite claims that kegel balls strengthen the pelvic floor, there’s little evidence that using them is any more effective than doing unaided kegel exercises alone. And there’s no hard evidence, beyond the anecdotal, to support the notion that using them improves sexual pleasure or makes it easier to orgasm over time.

Until I see some more robust data, I’m going to assume that kegel balls have limited to no physiological benefit beyond being fun to use. With that said, let’s take a look at the Lovehoney Excite Pleasure Balls.

Facts & figures

The Lovehoney Excite Pleasure Balls are two firm, connected balls coated in silicone. They have a long tail for easy removal, and each ball has a free-moving weight inside for added stimulation. The total weight is 73g. (If you’re looking for something a bit heavier, Lovehoney also offer the 90g “Main Squeeze” kegel balls, which I’m also a fan of.)

The purple Lovehoney Excite Pleasure Balls

The total insertable length is around 3 inches, and each ball is 1.4″ in diameter.

They’re also purple, which always gets points from me!

In use

I’ve always found Lovehoney to be a great source of decent, affordable basic products and these are no exception. The Excite Pleasure Balls are easy to insert and comfortable to wear, thanks to the smooth surface and soft silicone.

The purple Lovehoney Excite Pleasure Balls

The jiggle weights inside allow for subtle but noticeable stimulation, rolling around inside you as you move. Unlike some other kegel balls I’ve tried, these felt snug and secure once inside and I never feared they were going to fall out.

The silicone tail feels flimsy at first glance, but is actually extremely strong. So don’t worry about not being able to get the balls out again!

Pro tips for maximum pleasure

  • Always use plenty of water-based lube.
  • Try leaving your Excite Pleasure Balls in while you do clitoral or anal play.
  • Wearing them out and about during the day can be super sexy and fun. But don’t try it with no practice! Start out using your kegel balls for no more than 10-15 minutes. You can always build up to longer periods of wear.
  • Sterilise your kegel balls between every use using the boil method.
  • Someone on Lovehoney recommended pulling them out (or having a partner pull them out) at the point of orgasm. I haven’t tried this, but imagine it could be fun!

Final verdict

A solid and fun little toy for the price. Get yourself a set for £12.99 ($16.99 US) from Lovehoney.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review. All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear within this post.

[Mini Toy Review] Satisfyer Balls Kegel Exercisers

What are kegel balls and what are they used for?

Kegel balls, sometimes called Ben-wa balls or kegel exercisers, are duos or trios of small weighted balls that are inserted into the vagina. Supposedly, they help the person to perform kegel exercises more effectively and with better results. There are also claims that they improve sexual pleasure over time, even making it easier to reach orgasm. But there is little actual scientific evidence for any of this.

My hand holding a set of red Satisfyer kegel balls

What the science says

“The potential benefits of doing Kegel exercises on a regular basis include: greater ease in achieving orgasm, increased intensity of orgasm, increased lubrication, heightened control over sensation during penetration, and protection against urinary incontinence and bladder prolapse.” (Bartlik et al, 2010)

When it comes to the difference between performing kegel exercises with and without balls or similar devices, though, there’s less evidence.

One 2013 study examined the effect of “vaginal spheres” (kegel exercisers) in the treatment of stress urinary incontinence and found a statistically significant difference in the improvement shown by women who used the spheres vs those who performed kegel exercises without.

A different study, however, used “weighted vaginal cones” to treat urinary incontinence, and found that “there was little evidence of difference for a subjective cure between cones and pelvic floor muscle training” (Herbison & Dean, 2013.)

So the short answer is that there is limited evidence on one of the claims commonly made about kegel exercisers, and virtually no evidence one way or the other for any of the other claims. Anecdotally, balls may help by making the user more likely to actually do their exercises, rather than making the exercises more effective by themselves – but this is little more than speculation. The literature simply doesn’t exist yet.

(Can some scientists get on this please?)

So why would I want kegel balls?

I deliberated for ages on whether to categorise this review under “Sex Toys” or “Sexual Health Products,” but eventually decided on the former. Dubiously-evidenced medical claims aside, the purpose of kegel balls is simple: they can feel really good!

Walking or moving around with something inside you can feel amazing if you’re a person who enjoys vaginal penetration. I find that on the occasions I’ve worn kegel balls for any length of time, I tend to be at a constant level of arousal for however long they’re in. Wearing kegel balls can also be fun as part of a power exchange game, if you’re into that. I definitely find it hot when my Dom instructs me to go out with my cunt full.

Basically, treat kegel ball as a sex toy and not as a medical device, and you’re more likely to have fun!

So how do the Satisfyer balls measure up?

The Satisfyer Balls come in sets of three, which get progressively heavier (79g, 114g and 150g.) There are also alternative sets available in lighter weights. Each of the pairs of balls is a different colour (blue, pink and red) and they are made of silky smooth, soft and body-safe silicone.

Official product image of the Satisfyer Kegel Balls

Each of the balls have gentle ridges to them, which provide delicious internal stimulation.

The balls themselves and the joins between them feel well-made and sturdy. However, the “handle” loops are ridiculously thin and flimsy! They stretch when pulled, making them ineffective for helping to remove the balls from the vagina, and though mine have held out so far I don’t see them lasting very long.

With that said, these sets are inexpensive and good value (3 pairs of balls for £30.95/$34.99) so if you’re new to using kegel balls and just want to try, they’re not a bad place to start.

Pro tips for using kegel balls safely and pleasurably

  • Remember to use plenty of good quality, water-based lube.
  • Start slowly – keep the balls in for just 10 or 15 minutes at first. You can build up from there.
  • Give your body a break every few hours at least, never sleep with your kegel balls in, and take them out immediately if you experience any pain.
  • Boil-sterilise your kegel balls between uses.
  • If you like, try keeping your kegel balls in while you use a clitoral vibrator or do anal play. The dual stimulation can be fun!

Have you used kegel balls? Share your experience!

Thanks to Satisfyer for sending me these to review. All views are, as always, my own. Purchasing through the affiliate links in this post helps to support my work.