[Kink Product Review] Liebe Seele Fairy Collection

Something that often bugs me about kink and BDSM is the way that the aesthetic is, broadly speaking, so damn similar everywhere you look. There’s nothing wrong with black leather cuffs or PVC catsuits or red and black suede impact toys, of course, but it does all get a bit samey after a while. That’s why I’m so drawn to kink products that offer something a little bit different, such as the Liebe Seele Fairy collection.

For a femme such as myself, I don’t always want my BDSM vibe to be dark and serious. Sometimes I want it to be pretty, pastel, and fun! That’s what these items represent.

Liebe Seele Fairy Collection

Liebe Seele is a Japanese brand selling quality leather BDSM gear, sex toys, fetishwear, and more. Fun fact: “Liebe Seele” translates to “dear soul.”

Their “Fairy” collection is a range of 5 products: wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs, blindfold, collar and leash, and ball gag. Each item is available in either pink and white or green and white. I received the blindfold and ankle cuffs in green, and the collar/leash and wrist cuffs in pink (no ball gag because I don’t use them.)

All of the products are handcrafted in real leather, and some have gold or bronze-coloured metal accents such as buckles and fastenings

General First Impressions

My Liebe Seele products arrived beautifully packaged. Each item comes in a sturdy box and is sealed with an inner wrap and branded sticker. The presentation gets absolute top marks. I will say there’s quite a lot of unnecessary single-use plastic, though, so I would like to see that go.

Liebe Seele leather handcuffs for BDSM in their box

Liebe Seele bondage gear inner packaging

At first glance, the leather looks and feels of high quality. It’s lovely and soft, and has that beautiful unique leather smell.

Let’s look at each of the items in turn.

Liebe Seele Blindfold

A blindfold is one of the first basic BDSM items I recommend people get when they’re building a toybag. These versatile toys can be great for sensory deprivation, for getting into a headspace and switching your mind off, or for playing out all kinds of fantasies.

Liebe Seele green leather blindfold for BDSM

The Liebe Seele fairy blindfold has 9 holes, making it highly adjustable and wearable by just about anyone. It’s comfortable to wear, particularly after a couple of uses once the leather is starting to wear in. I particularly love getting a nose full of leather smell – a highly erotic scent to me, because I might be a vegetarian but I am also a giant hypocrite – when I’m wearing it.

It comes with a branded drawstring storage bag.

If I have a criticism of this blindfold, it’s that the actual mask part is slightly too small. When it’s on, it still lets a good amount of light in. Making it just half an inch wider over each eye would likely solve this problem.

The Liebe Seele Fairy Blindfold retails for £24/$28.95.

Liebe Seele Wrist Cuffs

The Liebe Seele wrist cuffs have five holes to fit different wrist sizes. I have fairly small wrists and I find them most comfortable on the fourth setting (i.e. the second tightest.)

Liebe Seele leather handcuffs for BDSM

These cuffs are so, so comfy to wear! The leather is soft and supple immediately, and only gets more so as you wear it in. They feel sturdy and secure, but also sensual and sexy. Each cuff has a small D-ring and they come with a separate double-ended clip chain, allowing you to fasten the wearer’s hands together if you want to.

No notes. A near perfect set of handcuffs for BDSM.

The Liebe Seele Fairy Wrist Cuffs retail for £47/$57.95.

Liebe Seele Ankle Cuffs

Like the wrist cuffs, the Liebe Seele ankle cuffs come with a D-ring on each cuff and a detachable double-ended clip chain. You can clip the ankles together… or combine them with the wrist cuffs for a basic hogtie position. (Read up on how to do this safely before you start!)

Liebe Seele green leather ankle cuffs for BDSM

Again, the cuffs are ultra soft and beautifully made. They feel sturdy enough for harder play, in that I can pull against them without worrying that they’re going to break!

They have 7 hole settings for different sizing, and I personally find the middle one the most comfortable.

The Liebe Seele Fairy Ankle Cuffs retail for £49/$59.95.

Liebe Seele Collar and Leash

Collars are hugely personal and can mean many different things. Whether you’re choosing one that you’ll just wear in a scene for fun, or one that you’ll wear as a symbol of a committed D/s relationship, it’s important to choose one[*] that feels like “you.” While I’m not sure the Liebe Seele Collar is really me, it is objectively an absolutely gorgeous piece even so.

Liebe Seele pink leather collar for BDSM, BDSM collar and leash

This collar has 9 different sizing settings. Collars shouldn’t be fastened too tight – as a rule of thumb, you should be able to slide two fingers between the collar and the neck with minimal difficulty. Its 3 D-rings offer a variety of play and restraint options (as with anything involving the neck, do your research and be VERY careful. Never do anything that may restrict the wearer’s breathing.) The accompanying leash is completely detachable, so you can use them either separately or together.

It’s comfortable to wear and soft enough that I could happily wear it all evening for a party or scene.

The Liebe Seele Collar and Leash Set retails for £46/$55.95.

[*] Or several. I think I own about 10 collars at this point that I wear in various contexts and with varying degrees of regularity.

Verdict

Gorgeous! I’m obsessed. The Liebe Seele Fairy collection pieces are such fantastic quality and, if properly cared for, will last for many years. They’re functional as well as aesthetically beautiful.

These pieces are also super affordable for the quality. You can get the full set (everything I’ve reviewed here plus the gag) for under $250/£200, or you can mix and match to get the pieces you want in your choice of colour.

Use code Amy15 to get 15% off your entire Liebe Seele purchase!

Thanks to Liebe Seele for sending me these items to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views are, as always, mine.

[Guest Post] It’s Time for Non-binary and Polyamory-Inclusive Leather Titles by Lisa Kivok

One of the joys of publishing guest posts on this blog is that I get to enjoy a glimpse into aspects of the vast worlds of gender, sexuality, and kink that I don’t have direct experience with. That’s why I am really thrilled with today’s post in which Lisa Kivok (she/her) tells us why she thinks it’s past time for non-binary and polyamorous inclusion in the world of leather titles. It’s a thought-provoking piece that I’m thrilled to share with you all.

Amy x

It’s Time for Non-binary and Polyamory-Inclusive Leather Titles by Lisa Kivok

It’s 2022. Non-binary and polyamorous people are increasingly visible in mainstream society. Not nearly enough, of course, but still increasingly so. But the leather community, which rightfully prides itself so much on being accepting, often excludes them in its contest titles. Not always, and usually not intentionally, but still far too often.

For example, how often do you see a leather title for Couple of the Year/Region/etc.? Now, how included do you think monogamous people would feel if the title was Polycule of the Year… but hey, we’ll let couples compete and call them “Couple of the Year” if they happen to win? Just about as included as polyamorous people feel when relationships competing for titles are dubbed “couples” by default.

Instead, it’s time for leather contests to stop using Couple of the Year titles and start using titles that are neutral in relationship style and can truly include polyamorous people – for example, Relationship of the Year.

A trickier phenomenon is that of Woman/Man of the Year/Region/etc. leather titles. It wouldn’t be right for those titles to be replaced – for a lot of people, their femininity or masculinity is an important part of their connection to the leather world. That shouldn’t be downplayed by eliminating those titles. But it’s past time that leather contests acknowledged non-binary leather people by adding a non-binary title, too – for example, Non-binary Person of the Year. Just letting non-binary people compete in Woman/Man categories and changing the title if they win isn’t fair. If women and men get their own designated titles, non-binary people should, too. After all, would you expect a woman to feel included in a non-binary person of the year contest? The same is true in reverse.

Why is now the time to make these changes?

Polyamorous and non-binary people have always existed, and any time would have been a great time to acknowledge them by making these changes, as some but not enough leather contests already have. Indeed, it would have been best to start out with such inclusive titles when leather contests first began. But such changes are better done late than never, and now is an especially important time to take a stand on this. That’s because right now there is a huge backlash against diversity, especially sexual diversity.

Yes, non-binary and polyamorous people are increasingly visible in mainstream society, but that often only leads to greater backlash. You can’t turn on the TV or look at Twitter without hearing about people being called groomers for being queer in public, trans youth being denied puberty blockers, and other attempts to shove people back into the imagined Father Knows Best days that never really existed.

If even the leather community pushes polyamorous and non-binary people to the side for not being mainstream enough, where will those people find acceptance?

Lack of acceptance may drive these people away from the leather subculture, which in addition to being unfortunate for them would be unfortunate for leather society itself. Polyamorous and non-binary people have contributed much to leather society, and no doubt can and will contribute more if they were better included.

The leather subculture has never been about the “nice” people who just want to be accepted by the mainstream. Sure, they’re as welcome in leather society as anyone else. But the heart of leather society has always been people maligned and excluded elsewhere. It is hypocritical and illogical to have a subculture based in large part on a fairly rare sexual fetish, long thought of as disgusting and immoral by mainstream society, and to then exclude polyamorous and non-binary people for not being mainstream or common enough. That way lies a ”sanitization” of leather society that goes against the values the culture does, and should, stand for in terms of acceptance of people who do not belong to the sexual and gender mainstream.

Making room for people excluded from mainstream society has always been part of leather culture, and minority groups within leather culture have fought long and proudly and successfully for inclusion, including in leather titles. There are women’s leather titles, Black leather titles, and deaf leather titles, to name just a few. It’s time we gave polyamorous and non-binary people the same sort of chance. It’s time to remind ourselves that when mainstream society says “get out, freaks and perverts”, leatherfolk say, “you’re welcome here with us.”

If you enjoyed this post, supporting the blog on Ko-Fi or by shopping with my affiliates helps me to keep paying lovely guest writers.

[Toy Review] Agent Provocateur X Lovehoney Rumba Wand Vibrator

[Update: this product and range have been discontinued. I have removed dead links and left the post up for reference.]

I have never owned a single thing made by luxury lingerie brand Agent Provocateur. This is partly due to the fact that they make only a very few bra styles and zero unwired designs in my size (36G in case you were wondering), and partly because I do not live in a world where spending tens or even hundreds of pounds on a pair of knickers is a reasonable financial choice. Even so, every time I am reminded that they exist, I find myself sighing over the pretty things and wishing I was both wealthier and smaller busted.

So naturally, when I saw that Lovehoney had teamed up with Agent Provocateur to create a line of sex toys, I simply had to get my hands on one to try.

Agent Provocateur X Lovehoney Rumba Wand Vibrator

I received the Rumba Wand Vibrator. This silicone wand measures 7″ in length and features a broad, prominent head and flexible neck.

My Rumba Wand Vibrator arrived in an attractive pink box with Lovehoney and Agent Provocateur branding. Inside, the toy sits in a very stylish zip-up leather case with rose gold zip and Agent Provocateur branding. It’s definitely real leather, so that’s something you might want to be aware of if you’re vegan or have ethical objections to leather. Absolutely top marks for stylish and luxurious presentation!

The Rumba Wand Vibrator is coated in super soft, body-safe black silicone. Its handle is firm to the touch, while the head has a nice level of squish. The button panel is the same rose gold as the adornments on the case, and the base of the toy features the Lovehoney heart insignia on one side and the Agent Provocateur logo on the other side.

The Rumba Wand Vibrator is USB rechargeable and waterproof.

In Use

In case you’re new here: hi, I’m Amy and I have a wand vibrator obsession! I collect every type I can get my hands on. All this to say that I am predisposed to like wands, but I am also very discerning.

So did the Rumba Wand Vibrator pass the test?

First, the good. I love the Rumba’s flexible neck, which allows for easy and comfortable positioning. The ultra squishy dual density silicone of the head also feels lovely. The user interface is simple, with one button to change between the 7 patterns and one button to change between the 3 levels of intensity.

Flexible vibrator, wand massager with bendy neck

There’s also a nifty setting where, if you hold down the bottom button (the one for the patterns), it will switch back to continuous vibration no matter what pattern setting you were on. Pretty useful for people who don’t care for patterns, especially if you accidentally hit the wrong button when trying to change speeds.

So with credit given where it’s due for this toy’s good points, what didn’t I love? The main issue with the Rumba Wand Vibrator is that it’s just not as powerful as I wanted it to be. A rechargeable mini wand vibrator is never going to be as powerful as a mains powered wand, of course. But even taking that into account, the motor was neither as strong nor as rumbly as I would expect from a toy at this price point.

I can orgasm with the Rumba Wand Vibrator if I’m very turned on and at least somewhat patient, but it takes effort. Since I tend to reach for my wand vibes when I want a quick and easy orgasm, I doubt I’ll be using this one regularly.

The battery life isn’t great, either – 45 minutes for a full (2 hour) charge.

Finally, and this is a small issue but it’s really bugging me: the rose gold coating on the button panel is already starting to chip off. It doesn’t affect the functionality of the toy, but I’d expect better from a product with a £110 pricetag and a luxury brand name behind it.

Verdict

I really wanted to love this one more than I actually did.

Though it has some good design points and is clearly made of safe and high quality materials, the Rumba Wand Vibrator falls down in the functionality department with its disappointing, buzzy motor. Considering it retails for £109.99 ($149.99 US), I’d have expected it to pack more of a punch than it did.

If you’re after a basic middling-power wand vibe, it’s fine, but be aware that you’re paying for the brand name as much as anything. You can get a brilliant bullet vibe or even the world’s best wand vibrator, for less money.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Kink Product Review] Dominix Deluxe Lockable Chastity Belt

Update 04/03/22: this product has been discontinued.

If you’ve been reading my blog for more than five minutes, you probably know that I have an orgasm control kink a mile wide. This manifests in lots of ways – edging, denial, forced orgasms occasionally and, yes, chastity.

Chastity belts for folks with vulvas (often called “female chastity belts”, but let’s not gender things unnecessarily!) are tricky to get right. They’re either wildly impractical, wildly expensive, or often both. Unlike the cock cages for penis owners that you can buy from almost any sex shop, they’re considered far more niche kink items.

Lovehoney were kind enough to send me the Dominix Deluxe Studded Leather Lockable Chastity Belt (to give it its full title) for review. How did I get on?

A Closer Look at the Dominix Lockable Chastity Belt

The Dominix Lockable Chastity Belt is made of real leather. I’ve spoken before about my uneasy relationship with leather – my kink brain loves it, but my ethical vegetarian brain feels conflicted. You must make your own decisions about how comfortable you feel buying, wearing, and using leather kink gear.

Lovehoney Dominix Lockable Chastity Belt

The Lockable Chastity Belt has a wider panel at the front, which covers most of the vulva, and then thinner straps between the legs and around the back. It is decorated with metal studs on the front, and features three metal buckles, each with a mini padlock. Each padlock comes with two keys. As far as we can tell, the padlocks and keys are interchangeable.

How Comfortable Is It?

The Dominix Lockable Chastity Belt is fairly comfortable once it’s been worn in. The leather is a little stiff at first but it softens up as you wear and handle it. I found that wearing it around the house over my clothing helped to speed up the leather softening.

Some other reviewers have complained about the leather digging into their inner thighs, but I didn’t really find that to be a problem. It might just be a personal thing depending on how it sits on your body.

Lockable chastity belt female chastity belt from Lovehoney

The Lockable Chastity Belt is very adjustable, with ten holes for each buckle. I’m a UK size 12 at the moment and it fits me with plenty of room to spare. According to the product page, the waist adjusts from 26 to 46 inches and the crotch strap adjusts from 14 to 23 inches.

How Secure Is It?

Welllll…. it depends what you mean by “secure.”

The padlocks are pretty flimsy. The wearer could probably break them fairly easily if they were so inclined. But given that the point of being locked in chastity is (presumably) because the wearer wants to be locked in chastity, I don’t really see why they would. If you want to make the belt more secure, you could easily swap out the provided padlocks with larger and more robust ones.

When I’m wearing the Dominix Lockable Chastity Belt, even when it’s fastened pretty tight, I can still get to my vulva… kind of. I can get at least a couple of fingers under the leather. So it doesn’t completely prevent all contact, but it makes it hard to impossible to touch myself in the way that would actually get me off.

Incidentally, the leather is pretty thin and I think I could probably press a wand vibrator to the front and still reach orgasm. So yes, if you want absolute security against any and all stimulation, this probably isn’t the belt for you.

How Practical Is It?

Honestly not very at all, but I think that’s a symptom of the reality of chastity belts for vulva owners rather than anything wrong with this particular product.

When I read erotica about chastity (which, erm, I do quite a lot) the belts tend to be super high tech and allow for all-day wear as well as using the bathroom… and somehow stay hygienic. I’m going to chalk this up to an unrealistic fantasy that doesn’t currently exist. I bave never seen a chastity belt for vulva owners that could even remotely be described as practical. If someone has created one, please let me know!

So no, you (probably) can’t wear the Dominix Lockable Chastity Belt all day and you (probably) can’t sleep in it or anything like that. Incidentally, since leather is porous, this piece should also be fluid-bonded to one person once it’s been worn without clothing underneath.

How Sexy Is It?

The aesthetic of the Dominix Lockable Chastity Belt is a classic black leather BDSM look. It’s pretty sexy in its simplicity and I do like how it looks when I’m wearing it. I think it’d be fun to wear out to a kink club when we can go to those again.

Chastity play, like so much of BDSM, is at least as much about the mindset and headspace as it is about the physical acts. I’ve been doing denial/chastity play with lovers for years and have never really used a physical device until this one arrived.

The fun for me isn’t so much in the device itself, but in what it represents. Even though it doesn’t actually completely prevent me from touching myself, and probably wouldn’t completely prevent me from reaching orgasm, the physical barrier serves as a reminder that while I’m wearing it, my pleasure belongs to somebody else.

And that is sexy as hell.

Final Verdict

My verdict here really depends what you’re looking for. If you’re looking for a genuinely secure chastity device that stops all stimulation, this isn’t it. But if you’re looking for a fun and relatively comfortable piece for scene play, kink club outings, or short-term fun, then this is a great buy.

The Dominix Lockable Chastity Belt retails for £39.99 from Lovehoney. Use my code coffkink10 to get 10% off at checkout!

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Dominix Lockable Chastity Belt for review. Pics courtesy of Lovehoney because I am way too shy to post pics of myself actually wearing a chastity belt! All views, as always, are mine. Shopping with my affiliates sends me a small commission which supports the blog!

[Toy Review] Satisfyer Luxury Prêt-à-porter

The Short Verdict: the same Satisfyer you know and love… but fancy!

So when it comes to the list of Things Amy Does Not Understand, “fashion” ranks somewhere between “football” and “quantum physics.” I don’t get it, I’ve never got it, and I highly doubt I ever will. That’s maybe why I was a bit baffled when the Satisfyer Prêt-à-porter (along with its sister product, the Satisfyer High Fashion) landed on my doorstep. The premise of these toys, as far as I can tell, is “take the same basic technology as all of Satisfyer’s pressure-wave stimulators, but use fancy materials and stick fashion-words on the box.”

I am embarrassed to admit I had to Google the meaning of “Prêt-à-porter.” (It’s “ready to wear,” for anyone curious, which makes zero sense as a name for a sex toy, but let’s run with it.)

What makes the Prêt-à-porter different?

The Satisfyer Prêt-à-porter is a pressure-wave clitoral stimulator, with a vibrating motor added. Function-wise, it’s very similar to the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration (an enduring favourite of mine.) And when I say “very similar” what I really mean is “functionally identical” – right down to the same ten vibration settings and the eleven pressure-wace intensity settings.

Aesthetically, the Prêt-à-porter follows the rose-gold-and-white theme that Satisfyer have used a number of times over the years. The main difference – upgrade, if you like – is in the materials used. The underside and nozzle of the toy is silicone as usual, but this silicone feels noticeably softer, smoother and altogether more luxurious than on any of the other Satisfyer products I own. The silicone of the nozzle, i.e. the bit that actually rests against the clitoris in use, is lovely and squishy. The rose-gold accents are listed as being made of “precious metal,” but this is rather non-specific! I’ve seen it suggested that they are aluminium and copper, but have not had this confirmed for sure.

The top side of the toy is coated in white leather. I have mixed views on this. It does look stylish and sleek, there’s no doubt about that. However, leather is also a porous material, meaning it is impossible to get completely clean. The leather part does not actually go against the body in use, but it is inevitable that some lube or sex-fluids will be transferred, and I really question how sanitary this can be in the long-term. I also acknowledge that a lot of people, especially vegetarians and vegans, have complicated feelings around the ethics of leather as a material.

Other important things

The Satisfyer Prêt-à-porter is waterproof, making for easier cleaning as well as allowing you to use it in the bath or shower if you wish. It is USB rechargeable and the charge time is a rather long 4 hours for 60 – 75 minutes of playtime.

Disappointingly, and unlike other Satisfyer pressure-wave toys, the Prêt-à-porter’s nozzle is not removable.

At the higher settings, the Prêt-à-porter is also rather loud.

How did it fare in use?

The first time I used this toy, I had not masturbated or had sex in close to two weeks (recovering from surgery is fun, y’all!) So it is perhaps unsurprising that I reached orgasm in record-quick time. In order to give the Prêt-à-porter a fair trial, I tested it two more times on other occasions.

The shape, angle and softness of the Prêt-à-porter’s head is near-perfect for my clit, surrounding it comfortably. The wider rim of the nozzle also means that when the vibrations and pressure-waves are switched on at the same time, your clit receives both direct stimulation to the glans and indirect stimulation all around it as well.

A quick note on positioning: in order to get the nozzle to sit correctly against your clit, hold the toy with the leather side (the side with the buttons) facing downwards. It took me a minute of experimenting to figure this out.

The Prêt-à-porter’s vibrations are very buzzy. The motor that is in this toy would never, ever be enough to get me off on its own. However, I mind this a lot less when combined with the pressure-wave stimulator, because the vibrations are a nice add-on rather than the main purpose of the toy. Still, stronger and rumblier vibrations would improve this toy no end.

The ability to control the vibrations and pressure-waves separately are key to getting the most out of the Prêt-à-porter. I do wish they’d provided a two-button interface for the vibrations, though. With the pressure-waves you can switch up and down between settings, but with the vibrations you have to scroll all the way through if you want to go back a setting. The buttons are easy to press and give a satisfying “click.”

Despite some flaws, I am very happy to report that the Prêt-à-porter consistently brings me to toe-curling orgasm in just a few minutes!

So is it worth the price difference?

I’m going to say… maybe.

By far the biggest plus-points for me with the Prêt-à-porter are the size, shape and squishiness of the head. This alone has won me over! The aesthetic is nice but I don’t care that much – substance is much more important than style when it comes to the things I put in/on/around my bits. The downsides are the noise and – from a hygiene perspective – the use of leather and non-removable nozzle.

Overall, my experience was positive and I will definitely be using the Prêt-à-porter again. However, it retails for a slightly eye-watering $129.99 and you can get the Pro Plus Vibration for less than half the price. if you’re on a budget I’m not sure there’s truly $75 worth of difference between the two.

Support Coffee & Kink by buying your Satisfyer Luxury Prêt-à-porter from Peepshow Toys.

Thanks to Satisfyer for sending me this product. All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links are used within this post.

[Accessories Review] Bondage Boutique Rainbow Leather Harness with Collar

[Update 30/01/20: this harness has been discontinued,. I’ve removed the dead links but I’m leaving this post up for reference.]

Happy Pride, friends!

Today is Pride in London. I am, sadly, not there. Aforementioned health issues, plus lack of spoons for travel and huge crowds, means I’ve sat this one out this year. However, in the spirit of celebrating a little bit at home, Pride day felt like the appropriate time to share my review of this rainbow-themed piece with you all.

Whether you’re celebrating in the Capital today or not, I hope you’ve all had a very happy Pride.

Boutique Bondage Gear…

Bondage Boutique is Lovehoney’s in-house range of kink and BDSM gear. With pieces ranging from cuffs to wax play candles, from nipple clamps to rope, they’re a great place to find affordable and entry-level kinky things. In honour of Pride season, they’ve recently added a line of rainbow themed items, one of which I was only too happy to try out!

Rainbows, Leather and Kink: A Few of My Favourite Things

The Bondage Boutique pride rainbow harness laid out on a white sheet

The Bondage Boutique Rainbow and Leather Harness with Collar is a really versatile kinky piece. It’s a unisex design, suitable for any type of body. The aesthetic is fairly androgynous, too, neither particularly femme or particularly masculine. You could totally femme or masc it up depending on what you wore it with!

Perhaps pair it with killer heels and cute stockings… or with some sexy as fuck leather trousers? Or even just throw it on over a t-shirt to add some public-safe queer joy to your Pride ensemble! I love the little rainbow panels, which give an otherwise fairly standard bondage piece a fun and playful edge.

The Bondage Boutique rainbow pride harness laid out on a white sheet

This harness also features two D-rings, one in the front centre of the collar and one in the front centre of the waist band. This means it’s practical for play as well as decorative. You could clip a leash to the collar, use the lower D-ring to tie off a crotch rope, or cuff your submissive’s hands to the harness to restrict their movement.

Materials & Care

This harness is made of real leather. For some this will be a huge advantage, and for others such as vegetarians or vegans it may be a serious downside. I personally love leather (even though I’m a vegetarian – yes, I know, I’m a hypocrite!) The softness, the smell and the undeniable associations of real leather all really do it for me. Leather is also exceptionally durable, and tends to get softer and more supple over time.

The small rainbow panels are stitched over the leather. The fastenings are made of metal.

Care for this harness the way you would with any other leather item. Cleaning after every wear isn’t typically necessary, but clean it occasionally with a special product designed for leather – many leather enthusiasts recommend saddle soap. If it needs a bit of extra shine, use a little gentle leather polish plenty of time before you next want to wear it. (Or have your sub do so – a fun service play task, perhaps?) Store your harness unfastened and as flat as you can. Don’t store or transport it with anything that could scratch the leather.

Remember that leather is a porous material and will therefore absorb traces of sweat, your skin’s natural oils, and any other bodily fluids it comes into contact with – including blood and sexual fluids.

Harness Fit

This harness is adjustable in three places for a versatile and customisable fit. The adjustable parts are the collar, the waist belt, and the strap that runs down the centre of the chest.

Lovehoney’s site conveniently lists the measurement ranges, so you can check this piece will fit you before buying. The collar fits a neck circumference of 13.5 – 18 inches, the waist belt ranges from 26 to 34 inches, and the connecting strap can be anything from 5.5 to 10 inches in length.

I currently have a 34 inch waist (UK size 14) and found this harness comfortable on the loosest setting. As a short person, I really appreciated being able to shorten the connecting strap too.

Unfortunately, this harness does not currently come in a Plus Size version. Please consider making one, Lovehoney pals!

So do I recommend it?

I love this harness! It’s super cute, relatively comfy, and pretty affordable. I’m always recommending Bondage Boutique to kink newbies, but wherever you are on your journey, grab this piece if you want to add a little rainbow sparkle to your kinky life.

The Bondage Boutique Rainbow and Leather Harness with Collar retails for £39.99.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this piece to review. All opinions are my own. This review contains affiliate links!

[Kink Product Review] Three Mini Reviews: Cuffs, Rope, Paddle

It’s no secret to my readers that I love small, independent, women-owned-and-run businesses, especially when they sell exclusively body-safe adult products. That’s why I am proud to be an affiliate of The Pleasure Garden Shop, a homegrown (pun intended) online feminist sex shop right here in the UK.

I must first apologise for the delay in getting these reviews out – my health (physical and mental) have taken a nosedive since the beginning of the year and Mr CK has been unwell too. As such I am woefully behind on testing and writing about everything! But no matter – we’re here now.

I was really excited when Francesca, owner of The Pleasure Garden reached out and suggested a series of mini-reviews of kinky products that might appeal to people looking to explore BDSM for the first time, along with some handy tricks and tips on using them safely. This is the first of such a series – let’s take a look at what was in my very exciting parcel when it arrived…

Bound Noir Slim Wrist Cuffs

People who have seen me getting my sexy on will know that I kink super hard for leather. (Yes, I know, as a vegetarian this makes me a horrible hypocrite – don’t @ me!) Good quality leather also tends to be expensive, which is probably why I don’t own that much of it.

Bound Noir black leather cuffs

The Bound Noir Slim Wrist Cuffs had me squeeing for joy! Not only are they super stylish, made of soft black leather with gold coloured metal accents, they’re also an absolute steal at £32.99. I’ve seen leather cuff sets go for £100+, but there’s no need to spend that much when these are so good! They come with a removable connecting chain with clips at either end, and each cuff has two D-rings – so lots of ways to fasten your sub to something (or to themselves) should you desire.

Bound Noir black wrist cuffs on anonymous hands

These cuffs feel super luxurious to wear. The leather is really soft and supple, and just gets softer with use as you break them in. I’ve worn them for well over an hour before, including in a session where my wrists were above my head. They remained comfortable the whole time. The gold accents give an elegant feel. The perfect accessory for any sexy outfit!

Bound Noir black wrist cuffs on anonymous female hands

They’re super adjustable. They have 5 notches, and there’s no reason you couldn’t get an extra one put in if you wanted to. (Take them to a professional leather worker, you could ruin them if you try it yourself!) The adjustability means they’ll work on most bodies. I have tiny wrists so I use them on the tightest setting. But I’ve also used them on people with much bigger hands/wrists than me with no problems at all.

Leather Wrist Cuffs Tips & Tricks…

Bound Noir black leather wrist cuffs on anonymous female hands

  • Experiment with different positions. Not everything will be comfy for everyone. Clip your partner’s hands together behind their back, hook their arms around the bedpost, tie their hands to something above their head.
  • Pair with a set of ankle cuffs and a 4-way hogtie for more complete immobilisation.
  • Cuffs should be loose enough that you can slip 1-2 fingers between the cuff and the skin, but tight enough so your partner cannot wiggle free. Experiment with different settings and check regularly. If there is any numbness, tingling or pins and needles in the hands, take the cuffs off IMMEDIATELY.
  • Never, EVER leave a bound person alone.
  • Store your cuffs flat, not fastened – the leather will degrade quicker if you store them closed.

Bound to Please Hemp Bondage Rope

Ask any rope bondage aficionado about their favourite type of rope, and you’ll get wildly different – but equally passionate – answers. We all have our favourites. I’ve always been a jute fan; I love the smell of it, the feel of it and the way it handles. But hemp is also a really popular choice. So I was delighted to try out this hemp bondage rope from Bound To Please.

Hemp rope coiled

This rope comes in 10 metre lengths and 5mm width. I believe this is the most ideal rope thickness for most bondage – any thicker and it starts looking bulkier and less elegant, any thinner and it starts to make ties more painful due to the way thinner ropes cut against the skin. (Not necessarily a bad thing if you like pain, but I don’t suggest tying with anything below 5mm until you’re experienced!) Each length costs £12.99.

“How much rope should I buy?” is always a question beginners ask me. It depends on a number of things, including types of ties and the size of the bottom. If you eventually want to move on to complex ties and suspensions, you’ll need more. If all you want to do is tie your partner to the bed for sex, you can get away with a couple of lengths. As a rough guide, for a TK (Takate Kote or Box Tie, the first formal harness tie most riggers learn) you’ll need 3 lengths and possibly 4 lengths for larger bodies. (If your partner is very petite, you might get away with 2.)

(I should just write a Big Guide to Choosing Rope, shouldn’t I? Okay, coming up…)

Anonymous leg tied in a futomomo with hemp rope

The thing I really love about natural fibre ropes, and especially hemp, is the smell. Hemp rope has this slightly undefinable sweet/woody smell and it’s gorgeous. I love tying in a room full of rope enthusiasts because the mix of natural fibres, bodies and sex in the air is just so intoxicating. Natural fibre ropes also get softer and smoother with use, as they are handled and absorb the natural oils from your skin.

Yes, I LOVE this rope!

Rope Tips & Tricks…

Close up of part of a futomomo in hemp rope on anonymous leg

  • Firstly and most importantly, always – ALWAYS – keep a cutting tool to hand. The safest and best tool is a pair of EMT shears, like this, which you can by for a few quid on Amazon or from a medical supplies store.
  • Suspension looks cool and is great fun, but it is NOT the be-all, end-all. It is also very dangerous if not done properly. Gain proficiency in floor-work before you even think about suspending, and then do it under the tuition of an experienced rigger. Bottoms, this applies to you too – don’t ask someone to suspend you when you’ve never even worn a basic chest harness before.
  • Rope is for everyone! No matter the size of your body or your ability level, you can do rope if you want to. Listen to your body and be prepared to adjust.
  • Get some lessons! Rope bondage is inherently risky, and can be dangerous if not done properly. If you’re really lucky, there might be a rope studio near you. Otherwise, see if there’s a Peer Rope event in your area (these are usually listed on Fetlife) or find a trusted private tutor.
  • Check out some instructional Youtube videos. Ask in your local community or on Fetlife for recommendations, as not all teachers are created equal.
  • Get a book, such as Shibari You Can Use or Showing You the Ropes.
  • Learn about the safe areas of the body to tie. This is a great and thorough guide to bondage safety.
  • Rope can be a scene in itself. “Tie them up and fuck them” is great if that’s your thing, but don’t discount the possibility of rope for the sake of rope. Some of my most amazing scenes have been rope and nothing else.
  • To keep your rope in the best condition, coil it and put it away as soon as you can after a session.
  • This is worth reiterating: NEVER leave a bound person alone!

Bound to Please Silicone Paddle

I’d never used a silicone paddle before, so the Bound To Please Silicone Paddle was an exciting new addition to my impact play collection. It measures 41cm long by 6cm wide and is nice and light to handle. Silicone is super easy to clean and sterilise (just chuck it in boiling water or use a body-safe medical wipe), and as it contains no animal derived materials is suitable for vegetarians and vegans.

BLack silicone paddle

I tested this one out with The Artist. From what I recall, my reaction to it was a string of profanity, followed by tears (because it hurt so fucking much, y’all). Due to the density of the silicone and the slender design, what feels like a relatively light stroke to the Top can deliver a hell of a sting to the bottom.

This thing is fucking vicious.

SIlicone paddle

I absolutely adore this paddle. But I am an experienced bottom and have been doing impact play for well over a decade at this point. Unless you have a high pain tolerance and a very clear idea of your body’s capabilities and limits, I cannot recommend this paddle to a beginner.

A wide leather paddle or a paddle that is padded on one side are great options for a gentler start for complete beginners! If you’re feeling brave enough to try this fucker, it retails for a very affordable £24.99.

Paddle Tips & Tricks…

Black silicone paddle in anoymous hand

  • Start slowly. People can take more impact if you build up gradually rather than just whack them at full force straight away!
  • Remember that the goal isn’t “take as much as you possibly can”. The goal is for both of you to have fun and get something out of the session.
  • Get clear about what kind of scene you want and what impact play means to you. Playing with punishment is hot to some people, and emotionally painful for others. “Teacher spanking a naughty student” roleplay is a VERY different scene to “I’ve had a terrible week and need you to spank me until I cry“, even though both might superficially look similar.
  • Learn the safe areas of the body to hit. Upper back and butt = good. Thighs, chest and genitals = yes if you’re careful. Face, head, joins, spine, lower back and neck = absolutely not.
  • Making your partner count the strokes and/or ask you for them can be super hot. Try phrases like, “Thank you Sir/Miss, may I have another?”

Other recommendations for your beginner kit…

When you’re just starting out in kink, you don’t necessarily want to spend a fortune on kit – especially before you’ve fully worked out what you like! Exactly what you prioritise spending your money on will, of course, depend on your interests. But here’s a few things I think you should consider for your basic all-purpose kink kit…

Thank you to Francesca at The Pleasure Garden for sending me these items to review. Please check out the affiliate links in this post – by buying from The Pleasure Garden, you’ll be supporting a small woman-owned business as well as sending a little commission my way to help me keep doing what I’m doing. All views are, as always, my own.

[Kink Product Review] Rouge Garments Leather Spiral Flogger

Did I mention that sex bloggers get the best goodie bags at our events? The lovely people at Rouge Garments provided various goodies for the June Lube and A Laptop social, and mine turned out to be this fittingly red red red (seriously this thing is so red) leather flogger.

This flogger is pretty hefty. End to end it’s about 71cm, of which 51cm is the falls and 20cm the handle. (On Rouge’s site it lists the length of falls as 47cm, so mine may be a slightly over-long prototype.) Either way it’s got a lot of length to it.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
The flogger retails at The Pleasure Garden for £32, which is a very reasonable price for a real leather product.

Materials: ★★★★
It’s 100% real leather, which is my material of choice for hitty items in general. Vegans and stricter vegetarians may want to steer clear, but that’s a matter of personal choice. (I’ll hold my hands up as a hypocritical vegetarian who loves leather here.)

Appearance & Quality: ★★★
It comes in pink, purple or red, which are pretty standard colours for kink gear. I’d love to see more variety in this area in general! The design is fine though I don’t think it’s the prettiest flogger ever – my personal taste in floggers leans more towards leather falls with a wooden or metal handle, rather than all-over leather, but that’s a matter of preference.

The Rouge flogger seems fairly strong and durable, but my one gripe (and it’s a pretty major one) is with the length of the falls. They’re not cut evenly and there is a disparity of more than an inch between the longest and shortest. This does, unfortunately, make an otherwise promising product look somewhat cheap and slapdash.

Ease of Wielding: ★★★
Like all longer floggers, it takes some practice to wield effectively, but this isn’t a criticism of the product. Generally the longer the hitty thing, the harder it is to wield. It is very light for its size, though, which is a plus point. I could use it for quite a while without my arm getting tired, and I’m far from the strongest person around. Mr CK pointed out that, due to the handle not being smooth (the leather is effectively wrapped around in a spiral shape,) the ridges did start to hurt his hand after using the flogger on me for a little while.

Feel: ★★★
I adore the feel of real leather on my skin, and this flogger has a good thud/sting balance. The weight is just enough to give it a nice thud, while the thin falls follow that initial thud with a little bit of stingy bite. The uneven falls do increase the tendency for mishits to happen, though, which led to a couple of “BAD ouch” moments. Not recommended for anyone who wants pure thud or intense sting, but a passable option if you like a mix.

Overall Score: ★★★
Not the greatest flogger I’ve ever used, but passable if you’re looking for something inexpensive. It’s an affordable option for people with some flogging experience who want to try out a larger flogger, and for anyone who wants to add some real leather to their collection without spending a fortune. If you want pure beauty and craft, though, I’d skip this one and head over to a dedicated BDSM retailer instead.

Thanks to Rouge Garments for providing these products in exchange for honest reviews. All opinions are, and will always be, my own. Affiliate link to The Pleasure Garden sends a small commission my way if you buy.