Five Ways I’m Trying to Increase Sustainability in My Femme Style

My identity and presentation as a femme is tremendously important to me. Femme is not just a way of dressing, but a way of sharing who I am with the world. It’s an inherently queer identity and my femme style is a way of living in and embodying my queerness every day.

However, like many of us in recent years, I’ve also been thinking more about my impact on the planet and ways to increase sustainability in my life. So let’s talk about five ways I’m trying to express my femme joy in a more sustainable way.

Acknowledgement and disclaimer: Before I dive in, I want to acknowledge that to a certain extent many sustainability practices (including those I have listed here) require privileges that many people do not have access to, including money and time. It is also not ultimately possible for individuals to save the planet – this must come from corporations and governments. This list is not a prescription or a set of instructions, and you know best what is possible for your life. This is simply what works for me. I’m also far from perfect and frequently fail to live up to the high standards I set for myself. No ethical consumption under capitalism, etc.

Breaking Up with Fast Fashion

Fast fashion – brands that churn out massive quantities of ultra-cheap, throwaway clothing – is a huge contributor to damaging the planet. It also exploits workers and harms animals. For all these reasons, whenever I have a reasonable choice, I’m determined to no longer buy new items from fast fashion brands.

If you buy fast fashion because it is accessible to you, in terms of pricing or available sizes, please don’t feel bad even for a second. That’s not what this section is about. What I’m talking about here is the companies and culture that encourage unnecessary impulse buys, large “hauls” of things that will be worn once or twice (or never worn), and fashions that change overnight.

Buying (and Selling/Donating) Second Hand

I love getting new clothes and shoes, but I actually very rarely buy anything apart from underwear brand new any more. My town has a large number of charity and second-hand shops, and I often find nice pieces at bargain prices there. I also spend far too much time browsing the Vinted app and watch-listing things, a small fraction of which I’ll eventually buy. My favourite recent finds include a fabulous leather jacket and some Lucy & Yak rainbow dungarees.

I just had a major clear-out of clothes I no longer wear. I’m going to sell on a few bits, and the rest I’ll either pass on to friends or donate to charity. That way, they’re not either languishing in the back of my wardrobe or creating more waste, and can instead be worn and enjoyed by someone else.

Of course, second-hand clothing isn’t totally without its issues (delivery emissions when you buy or sell online being the obvious one), but it’s one way to reduce clothing waste and reduce purchases of new items.

Buying More Versatile Styles

I love clothes, shoes, and accessories I can wear multiple ways. For that reason, I’ve started looking for more versatile items when I shop. One of my favourite dresses at the moment is a simple one that I can dress down with leggings and a cardigan, make playful with fun tights and stompy boots, or dress way up with a petticoat, a waist belt and heels for a night out.

For me, part of the fun of femme style is creating different looks by mixing and matching the same items in different ways.

I also recently got this gorgeous green multiway dress from IDENTITY LINGERIE, a “slow fashion” brand that follows zero-waste practices. It’s wearable in so many different ways that it feels a bit like a new dress every time I put it on. The multiway bridesmaid dress trend has been popular for bridal parties for some time, but I think they’re a great choice for anyone looking to get more mileage out of one garment.

Buying Recycled and Upcycled Materials

Materials is a really complicated one when it comes to clothing, and there are no easy answers here. It’s also very, very hard to totally avoid unsustainable manmade fibres such as polyester, nylon, and viscose. Some natural materials, such as cotton and bamboo, also present issues. The more sustainable alternatives can be expensive and hard to find, not to mention the confusion of wading through the muddy and often conflicting information out there.

One thing I’ve started trying to do, though, is look for more recycled and upcycled materials. This is a great way to support the “rescue” of materials that would otherwise end up in landfill.

For example, I recently reviewed a range of polyurethane (PU) leather accessories. PU is, in itself, pretty terrible environmentally. However, that particular brand uses entirely from recycled materials that would otherwise have created waste. I’ve also tried some gorgeous eco-friendly lingerie pieces over the years, some of which are amongst the most worn in my collection.

Switching to Eco-Friendly Bathing & Beauty Products

Glitter is, of course, a staple of my personal femme style. But the wrong glitter products can also be hugely harmful to the environment. For that reason, you will only ever find eco-friendly biodegradable glitter in my makeup bag.

I’ve tried to switch to more eco-friendly bathing and beauty products recently, too, including shampoo bars, mineral sunscreen, and products made without palm oil. This is in addition to my policy of not buying anything that was tested on animals.

What are your favourite eco-friendly and sustainable femme essentials, friends?

[Fetishwear Review] Lovehoney Fierce Diva Faux Leather Bustier Set

[Update 10/05/24: this product has been discontinued. I have removed dead links but left the post up for reference.]

Sometimes, I know that an item is going to be a YES for me the moment I take it out of the packaging. The Diva Faux Leather Bustier Set from the Lovehoney Fierce range was one such piece.

Details and First Impressions

The Fierce Diva Faux Leather Bustier Set comes with two pieces: the bustier and a pair of crotchless thong knickers. As with the other Fierce pieces I’ve tried recently, I was immediately impressed by the shiny wet-look material. These pieces are a great alternative if you don’t like the animal origins (or price tag) of leather, or the care and complexity (or sometimes price tag) of latex!

The Fierce Diva Faux Leather Bustier is plastic-boned for light structuring, and has a plunging neckline with lace-up detail. It’s adorned with a floaty lace “skirt” and matching floral lace detail on the bodice. It comes with removable suspenders, so you can wear it by itself or pair it with some sexy stockings. The back piece is semi-transparent mesh, designed to show just a hint of the skin underneath.

The Fierce Diva Faux Leather Bustier is just really, really my style. The soft fetish aesthetic of the black faux leather and structured shape, combined with the flirty and femme lace detailing, is exactly my jam. I think it looks sexy as hell, don’t you?

Fit and Comfort

The Fierce Diva Faux Leather Bustier fastens with a row of hooks and eyes up the back. The easiest way to get it on is to put it on backwards and fasten these at the front, then twist it around and pull the shoulder straps up last. (You could also theoretically pull it on over your head, but be careful not to snag the soft mesh or lace if you do that!)

It’s fairly comfortable to wear, as the fabric is soft and the mesh at the back increases the breathability. Definitely a less hot and sweaty option than actual leather!

This bustier set is available in sizes small (UK 6-8) up to 5x (UK 26-28). I wear a size 10/12, and the medium fits me well. The hook and eye fastenings offer three different size options, and the material is quite stretchy, so it will accommodate different bodies within that size range well. The shoulder straps are also adjustable.

Fierce is probably the most big-boob-friendly range Lovehoney have done yet. The Fierce Diva Faux Leather Bustier contains my G-cup chest easily, and enhances my cleavage without making me feel as though I’m about to fall out of it. With no wires and adjustable lacing, this bustier will accommodate a wide range of breast sizes.

The accompanying knickers? Honestly, I just don’t think I like either thongs or crotchless underwear very much. They’re not made for people with pubic hair or for people who don’t like fishing a string out of their butt crack all night long. I’ll probably never wear them again, if I’m honest. Instead, I’ll team the bustier with either some lacy knickers for a night in, or a pair of faux leather trousers and some high boots for a night out.

Versatile and Sexy

The Fierce Diva Faux Leather Bustier sits in that middle ground between clothing and lingerie where it could feasibly be either. I’d wear this in the bedroom with my partner or to a play party, but I’d also wear it for an alternative club night or even as a more risqué Halloween costume.

Just absolutely beautiful. I’m going to get a lot of wear out of this one.

The Fierce Diva Faux Leather Bustier Set retails for £59.99 ($74.99 US).

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this piece to review. Pictures and opinions are mine! Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Fetishwear Review] Lovehoney Fierce Wet Look Catsuit

I got my first catsuit not long after I started this blog, and it soon became a bit of a statement piece (alongside, of course, the signature ears). Wearing it to the Eroticon 2018 after-party and enjoying the looks and reactions it got was a particular highlight. So of course, when Lovehoney offered me the Wet Look Catsuit from their Fierce range, part of the Halloween “Come Alive at Night” collection, I simply had to say yes.

Feline Fierce: Wet Look Catsuit

Lovehoney model in black PVC wet look catsuit
Image: Lovehoney (used with permission)

The Lovehoney Fierce Wet Look Catsuit is made of a super-shiny, stretchy wet-look fabric that catches the light beautifully. It features a collar neck, fastening with bra-style clasps, and a cleavage-displaying cut out section at the front. It is adorned with mesh panels at the hips, which show a glimpse of skin.

The material is soft and comfortable to wear. Though the product page describes the fabric as “breathable”, it’s still skin-tight black fabric and does get very very hot after a while. Bear that in mind if you’re going to be in a very warm environment.

The Fierce Wet Look Catsuit fastens with a single, long zip that runs from the centre of the chest all the way to the top of the butt. It’s quick and easy to get into – just step into the legs, pull the arms on, and zip up. I found the collar a little difficult to fasten. If you do too, you might want to use a mirror or ask your partner for help.

With a zip pull at each end, you can choose how open or closed you want the front. You can also unzip the back for easier sex access without needing to take the whole thing off.

Skin-tight black clothing is typically associated with a dominatrix look. However, I’m much more inclined towards the subby end of the spectrum. Fortunately, clothing can be whatever you make it, and I feel like I can definitely use this piece to tap into aspects of my submissive self.

The playful kitten is one of the submissive archetypes I enjoying embodying. It’s something I’ve felt quite alienated from recently, after a pretty traumatic break-up with the partner who used to call me “Kitten”. But it’s a part of myself that I’m trying to get back in touch with. Slipping into the Lovehoney Fierce Wet Look Catsuit, I remembered why I love that role so much. I didn’t know that a catsuit could be one of the tools in the “healing my broken heart” toolkit, but here we are!

Fit

I requested a size M, and it fits my size 10/12 body well. If you’re between sizes, I’d recommend going a size down since the Fierce wet look garments are pretty generously stretchy and meant to fit snugly like a second skin.

Otherwise, the fit was good, and even contained my G-cup boobs without me falling out every time I moved! The only slight fit issue was that the legs were a little long for me. (I’m not that tall, and I have disproportionately short legs and a long torso for my height). Just something to be aware of if you’re on the shorter side.

Perfect for Halloween… or Any Night!

If you’re looking for a sexy Halloween costume, pair the Wet Look Catsuit with a pair of kitty ears or a mask and perhaps a pair of black boots, and you’re good to go. It’s also perfect for pet-play enthusiasts, those looking to add a sex kitten twist to their bedroom or club look, or anyone who loves skintight shiny things but can’t be bothered with the faff of latex (hi, that’s me!)

The Fierce Wet Look Catsuit retails for £44.99 ($54.99 US). UK readers can get 10% off this or any other purchase by using my Lovehoney discount code “coffkink10” at checkout.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this piece to review. All views and photos, as always, are mine. This post contains affiliate links. Buying through them or using my coupon code helps to keep the blog going.

[Fetishwear Review] Lovehoney Fierce Wet Look Cut-Out Mini Dress

Halloween is coming, which can mean only one thing: scary kinky parties! (Okay, it also means I can stock up my cat ear collection from the fancy dress aisle in Sainsbury’s…) So naturally, I’m already planning my outfits for some adventures at the end of the month. That’s why I was excited to receive a few pieces from Lovehoney’s Come Alive at Night Halloween campaign.

I’ve tried a few pieces from the Fierce wet-look range before, and always found them sexy as hell. This time, it was the turn of the Fierce Wet Look Cut-Out Mini Dress.

First Impressions

Lovehoney wet look minidress product photo
Image: Lovehoney (used with permission)

I debated whether to categorise this piece as clothing or as lingerie. It’s definitely a dress, but it’s also extremely short – unless you’re maybe 5’2″ or under, this is not going to be something you can wear to an ordinary club or bar unless you want to show everyone your underwear.

I was immediately impressed with the shine of the fabric. It’s a stretchy polyester/elastane blend in a luscious deep black that catches the light when you move.

Fit & Comfort

The Fierce Wet Look Cut-Out Mini Dress opens completely at the front and then closes with a zipper up the middle. This makes it easy to get into. Just slip your arms into the sleeves and then zip up. You can choose how far you want to close the zipper, depending on how much skin you want to show off.

The collar closes with bra style clasps with three different settings to choose from, depending on how tight you want it. I found this a little difficult to fasten by myself when I couldn’t see what I was doing. Use a mirror or ask your partner to fasten it for you. Once the neck is fastened, you get a cut-out peephole neckline which is super sexy.

I got the medium, which fits my current size 10/12 body very well. With these pieces, I’d recommend sizing down rather than up if you’re between sizes, as they’re meant to cling like a second skin. This dress is surprisingly comfortable, since it has no wires and does not pinch or dig in anywhere. The fabric does make you very, very hot after a while, so be aware of that if you’re wearing it in a warm venue like a club.

Aesthetic

The Fierce Wet Look Cut-Out Mini Dress is a rare gem for me: a garment that works with my G-cup boobs, rather than fighting against them. It gives me cleavage for days, and I am, here for it!

I feel sexy in a vampy sort of way in this dress. I love the way it enhances the curve of my waist and hips and shows off my shape at its best. I’ll likely pair it with some killer heels, sexy stockings, and the signature ears for a full Halloween look. This range is well-named – it really does make me feel fiercely fabulous!

Verdict

This range is well-named – it really does make me feel fiercely fabulous! This dress is well-fitting, confidence-boosting, and just sexy as fuck. It’s an absolute yes from me.

The Lovehoney Fierce Wet Look Cut-Out Mini Dress retails for £34.99 ($42.99 US), and you can get 10% off your entire order with my code “coffkink10” (enter it at checkout).

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this piece in exchange for an honest review. All views and images are mine. This post contains affiliate links, which help me to keep funding the site!

[Fetishwear Review] Oscuro Black Stretch PVC Catsuit

[Update 01/11/23: this product has been discontinued. I have removed dead links and left this post up for information.]

I have very little body confidence, and I am also a #LazyFemme. Hardly the target demographic for a skin-tight, everything-on-display catsuit! Even so, for some reason, when I saw this baby at the Latex, Leather and Lace opening I just went “oooh, yes, want!” Because they are supremely lovely, and I know how to flutter my eyelashes, the lovely

I slipped out of my jeans and into the catsuit in the swanky new changing room, and I don’t think I have ever gone from “casual, slightly scruffy” to “holy shit I am hot” so quickly in my entire life. It did help, of course, that when I emerged from the changing room, at least three women had to pick their jaws up off the floor at how fabulous this thing makes my tits look. (My boobs are already like a 12/10, not gonna lie, but they get at least 50% more fabulous when encased in skintight PVC.)

With a high collared neck and long sleeves, this suit is made from 4-way stretch PVC, and therefore is super comfy to wear. Zips in strategic places make it easy to loosen or tighten where you like, as well as allowing for essential things like peeing or getting fucked without taking the whole suit off! It comes in sizes from Small (UK 10) to 2XL (UK 18.)

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
The Oscuro catsuit retails at £64.99 from Latex, Leather and Lace. It’s definitely not a cheap item, but is a good reasonable option for someone who wants a catsuit but doesn’t want to pay the much higher pricetag for latex or leather.

Appearance: ★★★★★
Mmmmffff. Yessssss. I love how this thing looks, and how I look in it. It’s sexy as hell. I like pairing it with some killer black heeled boots for instant Dominatrix vibes, or with my kitty ears and a tail or more of a submissive kitten look.

Materials: ★★★★
It’s made of 4 way stretch PVC with a lycra backing. This makes it super comfy – it hugs your curves but also allows for relatively free and unrestricted movement. A great option for wearing all night. Though if you’re intending to dance or play or fuck the night away, be warned that it does get Extremely Hot after a while.

Fit: ★★★★
The sizes seem to run fairly true to whatever semblance of “standard sizing” we have for women’s clothing. I wear a 12 and the medium fits me really nicely. It’s a little tight over my 36DD boobs, but just on the edge between “epic cleavage” and “actually so tight it’s uncomfortable”- however, if you have a large bust you might want to try before buying or even consider going a size up. I’m about 5’5″ and have short legs relative to my torso, and the legs on this run quite long. Shorter folks or those with short legs: you’ll probably want to wear heels with this or you’ll be tripping over the ends.

Overall Score: ★★★★
A real winner. I love it! Can’t wait to wear it to the club. (And I’ve promised my friends Jo and Jess that it’ll make an appearance at Eroticon, too!)

Thanks to the lovely folks at Latex, Leather and Lace for giving me this product to review! All views are my own.