There are a number of things that are consistently more appealing in theory than in reality. One such concept? Sex games. Buckle in, folks, it’s time to review Bondage Seductions, a BDSM/bondage card game made by Kheper Games and sold by Lovehoney.
Bondage Seductions: Where to Begin With This Mess of a Card Game?
Bondage Seductions is a sex card game for couples. In the box, you’ll find:
- 36 game cards
- A pair of silky “ties” (lengths of ribbon)
- 2 dice
- A red elasticated blindfold
- A mini rubber flogger
The quality of these items is… Not Great. The flogger looks shoddily made and the materials look and feel cheap. The cards contain the same copy in four languages (English, German, French, and Spanish.) I can’t speak for any of the other languages, but the English passages are poorly written and feature frequent typos and weird syntax. Clearly nobody proofread this before whacking it through Google Translate and publishing it.
The rules are simple: roll the 2 dice, and choose the corresponding numbered card (they are numbered 1-1 through 6-6. The red die indicates the first number, the black die the second number.)
Cards in red are “for her to read,” and cards in black are “for him to read” (more on that in a minute.) You read your chosen scenario and then act it out, using the included props as appropriate.
Everything That’s Wrong with This Game
First, Bondage Seductions gets its terminology egregiously wrong. “Bondage” is not a synonym for “BDSM” or “kinky sex”. Bondage is one specific kink: restraining other people and/or being restrained. This game should be called Kinky Seductions or something, because most of it doesn’t involve bondage.
The game also continually uses the word “whip” to describe a flogger. Again, they’re completely different implements! The two words are not synonymous. This is a whip. This is a flogger. The item in this game is a flogger, admittedly a shit excuse for one.
Terminology matters in kink. We can only negotiate and talk about our desires and limits effectively if we use the right language. If someone says they like whips but they actually mean floggers, you can see how that could lead to some really troublesome miscommunications. Single-tail whips are seriously dangerous pieces of kit that can put you or your partner in hospital if you don’t know what you’re doing. They require training and practice to use properly. Using the correct terminology helps keep people safe.
(The game also, even more inexplicably, refers to the flogger as a “paddle”. This is a paddle.)
Bondage Seductions is lax to the point of being irresponsible when it comes to safety. There are cards that explain what safewords are and how to use them, which I guess is something. There’s also a mention of consent and only going as far as you want to go. But that’s all, and that’s not enough.
Several of the activities listed can be dangerous either physically (e.g. impact play) or psychologically (e.g. non-consent roleplay) if done incorrectly. While I appreciate that game creators can’t give an essay on safety for every activity, some context is essential.
I was particularly horrified to see one card suggesting that you flog your lover’s back, without making any distinction between hitting the upper back and shoulders (generally fine) and hitting the lower back, kidney area, and spine (incredibly dangerous and absolutely NOT fine.)
We can’t just nudge total beginners into impact play or non-consent roleplay scenes without telling them how to do so and emerge unharmed. This is grossly irresponsible.
Bondage Seduction… But Only If You’re Cis and Straight
This game takes unnecessary and aggressive gendering to the next level. It begins from the premise of assuming the players are a heterosexual, cisgender couple. There was absolutely no reason to do that! The cards could easily have been split by Top/bottom rather than male/female, or even just included a bunch of scenarios and left it to the players to decide who would take which roles.
This game is not just cisheteronormative, but incredibly sexist. Here are a few choice quotes (all genuine, all copied down verbatim):
“Doesn’t he know you’d have an orgasm on the spot if he’d lift a finger and do the dishes for once in his life?”
“Perhaps he’d chatting with his mother when he should be asking about your day? Or worse yet… screaming at other drivers when he should be offering you compliments about your new hairdo!”
“Men are visual, and women are more sensitive to touch.”
“Don’t you wish sometimes that he would just shut up?”
This game was designed by people who don’t have a very good opinion of either men or women. It also seems to carry the assumption that people in heterosexual partnerships kinda hate each other. And honestly, I just find that sad.
ALSO. There are two cards titled “Safe Word For Her” and “Safe Word for Him.” Apart from the pronouns, these two cards are identical. There is literally zero point to this. Just have one safeword card or explain the concept in the rules! This game takes “gendering things that have no reason to be” to the next level.
Verdict
Bondage Seductions is bad. It’s really, really bad. This game is not just cheesy, cheap, and badly put-together. It’s also outrageously sexist and dangerously cavalier about some pretty risky activities.
Seriously. Do not go near this game. This is awful. There are far better introductory toys and beginner-friendly BDSM kits out there.
Bondage Seductions is available from Lovehoney UK and Lovehoney US, but you absolutely shouldn’t buy it.
Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! Views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.
