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Header image for Tantaly Candice 2.0 review featuring the doll on a pink and green background

[Toy Review] Tantaly Candice 2.0 Sex Doll

Published on August 26, 2024August 26, 2024 by Amy

Sometimes, I step back and realise how actually bonkers my job is. One of those moments was when a comically enormous parcel arrived on my doorstep last week. I don’t think I will ever forget the expression on my nesting partner’s face when I explained “it’s a sex doll!” To be exact, it was the Tantaly Candice 2.0 sex doll.

I have wanted to review a sex doll for a very long time, so thank you to Tantaly for giving me the opportunity.

I’ll say this for Tantaly: despite the conspicuous nature of the box’s size, the packaging was completely discreet. There was nothing on the box or external packaging to indicate what was inside. All Tantaly dolls now also come with a black PVC and polyester zip-up bag. This makes it easier to carry the doll around (no easy task, as we’ll address below!) and also offers a handy storage solution.

Tantaly Candice 2.0 Upgrades

Tantaly Candice 2.0 torso sex doll from behind wearing green lingerie

Tantaly Candice 2.0 torso sex doll from front

The Tantaly Candice was a hugely popular sex doll, and the Candice 2.0 is an updated and revised version. (All Tantaly’s sex dolls have names, I’m not sure who chooses them or how!)

The Candice 2.0 is different from the Candice original in two key ways. The first upgrade “improved the appearance of the labia and skin texture, realistically replicating the shape of the human pubic area”, and the second upgrade introduced the hilariously-named “Tantabosom”, a unique gel formula which claims to make the doll’s breasts softer and more lifelike.

Tantaly also fixed some issues customers identified in this iteration of the Candice doll. These included repositioning the anus to reduce tearing during use and transporation, enhancing the feel and appearance of the butt with (you guessed it) “Tantabutt”, and making the vaginal tunnel slightly wider.

Sex Doll Look & Feel

The Candice is a torso sex doll weighing 42lb (or around 19kg.) That doesn’t sound all that huge, right? Trust me, when you’re lugging it up the stairs in its case, it feels huge. Yes, this doll is seriously heavy, and it’s not even close to the largest in Tantaly’s range. Of course, the size and weight is part of the appeal of sex dolls to some users as it makes them more lifelike. Just be ready for the physical task of moving it. Or have a supportive partner/roommate who can help you.

Tantaly sex doll storage and transportation bag — Tantaly’s doll storage/travel bag

Initially, I was sceptical about the claim that this doll is “life size”, so I got the measuring tape out. The Tantaly Candice measures around 22″ in length from the vulva to the base of the neck. This is a pretty realistic size for a short-ish woman (I measured the same area on my 5’5″ frame for comparison and it was around 25″.) So yes, it actually is a petite lifesize!

Please note that, though pictured wearing lingerie, your sex doll does not come with any clothing. You can, of course, dress it up in anything you like yourself. On the product page, Tantaly notes that TPE dolls can stain easily so it is best to avoid dark fabrics or anything with dyes that might run.

The Tantaly Candice 2.0 is clearly designed to adhere to a very specific and normative idea of female beauty. It has a narrow waist, flat stomach, large breasts, and a vulva that looks straight out of mainstream porn. However, with that said, I am glad that it does not have the cartoonishly unrealistic proportions of some sex dolls out there. (No-one has a 20″ waist and J-cup breasts naturally. They just don’t.)

I’ve said before that I find sex dolls with faces a little creepy in an “uncanny valley” sort of way, but this torso-only design avoids that problem. Mr C&K mentioned that the entire concept felt a little too “disembodied” for him in a way that he found really offputting. There’s no objective answer here – it’s totally a matter of preference.

The Tantaly Candice is ultra soft to the touch. Thankfully, it also doesn’t have that weird smell that some TPE sex toys do. I was left with some slight residue on my hands from the powdered packaging, so I recommend giving it a really good wash before you actually use it for the first time. Interestingly, the material doesn’t really conduct much heat, so it tends to be quite cool to the touch even in a very warm room.

Inside, I was also impressed at how realistic the vagina and butt feel. They feature incredibly detailed layers of texturing internally. The vagina even has a G-spot! And if a boob person, you’ll definitely enjoy the lifelike breasts and semi-realistic nipples.

Is the Tantaly Candice 2.0 Sex Doll Body Safe?

This doll is made from thermoplastic elastomer, or TPE. TPE is a type of plastic that has been refined and treated to turn it into a flexible, rubber-like material. In the world of sex toys, TPE is often used as a cheaper alternative to silicone.

So is TPE body-safe?

Crucially (and giving it an advantage over many other common sex toy materials such as jelly), TPE does not typically contain phthalates. These common plasticisers are endocrine disrupters and possibly carcinogenic. In this way, TPE is unlikely to be harmful.

However, a downside of TPE is that it is a porous material. This means that it has microscopic holes which can harbour bacteria, bodily fluids, and more.

I’m a lot less critical of TPE use in penis toys (such as strokers and, yes, sex dolls) than I am of its use in insertable toys, such as dildos and butt plugs. This is because the way that penis toys are used means that the risk of harm and infection is far lower than with insertables.

Ultimately, my recommendation regarding TPE sex dolls? You’re probably fine as long as you follow some basic hygiene precautions. However, you should not share the doll (or if you must, use a condom) because doing so significantly increases the risk of both infection and STI transmission. You should also care for your doll according to the manufacturer’s instructions and check it regularly for tears, cracks, mold, and material degredation.

Care and Cleaning of Your Sex Doll

Tantaly recommends storing your sex doll inside the protective styrofoam packaging it arrives in. This protects it from dust and the elements as well as helping it to retain its shape for longer. They also recommend oiling it 3-4 times per year depending on usage, and applying corn starch if it is going to be in storage for a long period.

It’s important to thoroughly clean your sex doll promptly after use. There’s a full guide here on how to clean, store, and care for your doll. In short though, after each use:

Thoroughly wash the areas of the doll that you have used (an enema kit is an easy way to clean the inside of your doll) with warm water and a gentle antibacterial soap.
Dry the doll as thoroughly as you can using a soft, clean cloth.
Use a drying stick, tampon, or similar to dry out the internal parts. It’s really important not to leave these wet as this can be a breeding ground for bacteria.

You can significantly extend the lifespan of your doll, and keep things more hygienic, by using a condom. Cleanup is definitely a bit of a faff, which is always going to be a downside to sex dolls.

How long will your doll last? That depends on a number of factors so it’s hard to say. Some users in Tantaly’s on-site reviews say they have had their doll for several years and it’s still in good condition.

9 Things to Do With a Sex Doll (Besides the Obvious)

The obvious basic use for a sex doll is, well, to have sex with it. And if you’re buying a doll for that purpose, the Tantaly Candice is a great choice. But beyond that, what are some fun things you can do with a sex doll like this one? To start you off, I’ve compiled a list of 9 options. As always, take the ones that resonate with you and leave the ones that don’t!

Tantaly Candice 2.0 sex doll in blue and pink bikini

Play out cuckolding or cuckqueaning kinks. In short, this is where someone is “made” to watch their partner have sex with someone else. It is often, but not always, tied in with D/s dynamics and humiliation kinks.
Experiment with exhibitionism and voyeurism. Into the fantasy of watching or being watched during sex? You can fuck the doll while your partner watches… or put the doll in the corner and have it “watch” you masturbate or have sex.
Practice techniques. Want to improve your cunnilingus, fingering, or strap-on sex skills? Practicing on a doll isn’t perfect because it can’t give you feedback, but it can be a useful way to nail those physical skills.
Try out group sex fantasies without the risk. Group sex strikes a chord with many people as a fantasy, but not everyone can or wants to make it a reality. Using a sex doll allows you to play out some aspects of your group sex fantasies without the emotional risk that doing so for real can entail.
Make some sexy content. Many adult content creators use sex dolls to shoot images or videos. If you’re a creator, a sex doll can be a great addition to your repertoire. If not, you can still enjoy making some sexy content for your partner(s) or even just for yourself.
Tie it up. I’ve been really getting into bondage and shibari as a Top in the last few months or so. My immediate thought when I opened my Tantaly Candice sex doll was that it would be an amazing practice bottom for when I don’t have a human partner available. The weight does make this tricky, though.
Spank it. I’d be hesitant to suggest using impact toys on a TPE sex doll as they could damage the material. A good old fashioned hand spanking, though? Have at it.
Dress it up. If you’re into lingerie, latex, corsetry, or any other type of sexy clothing, your sex doll can be the perfect model for trying out different looks.
Have long-distance sex. If you and your partner are apart, activities like phone sex, cyber sex and sexting are great ways to maintain a sexual connection. App-controlled toys were created for just this purpose! Another option, though, is to use a doll. Slip into a hot fantasy with your lover by voice or text, and use the doll to act out the things you’re talking about doing and bring the fantasy to life.

Verdict

I was initially unsure what I was going to do with this product, once I’d written up this review. Not being in possession of a factory-installed penis, I am not exactly the target market. However, I’m glad I own it and I suspect it will be getting utilised in several of the ways listed in the above section.

The Tantaly Candice is a well-designed and well-made torso doll with impressive attention to detail, particularly in this latest iteration. If you’re in the market for a realistic (but faceless) sex doll, and the weight, maintenance, and storage requirements don’t bother you, the Tantaly Candice is a great choice.

The Tantaly Candice torso sex doll retails for $499.

Thanks to Tantaly for kindly sending me this product and sponsoring this review. All views and writing, as always, are mine. Product images courtesy of Tantaly.

FirmTech Tech Ring review featuring a man in business attire holding a question mark symbol over his crotch area

[Toy Review] FirmTech Tech Ring

Published on March 9, 2024April 30, 2024 by Amy

When you’re a sex writer, you occasionally send texts to your friends what would be objectively weird in any other context. I recently sent one to my dear friend SilverDom (who has kindly helped me with reviews before) that amounted to “hey, do you want to test a dick Fitbit for me?” Obviously he said yes, because who could resist such an offer? So with SD’s help, I’m pleased to be bringing you a review of the FirmTech “Tech Ring.”

What is a Tech Ring?

FirmTech’s Tech Ring was developed by Elliot Justin, MD, FACEP, an Emergency Medicine specialist, telemedicine expert and sex toy enthusiast. The Tech Ring is a cock ring with a difference: this high-tech device features various sensors which gather information about the wearer’s penis health. It then connects with an app on your smartphone, allowing you to review and interpret this data.

FirmTech Tech Ring on its charging stand

So yes: it’s like a fitness tracker… but for your penis. I will never stop getting joy from calling it the “dick Fitbit.”

The Tech Ring has a penoscrotal design, meaning that it it wraps around both the testicles and shaft of the penis. It provides light pressure on the urethra (which some people say makes their orgasms more intense.) With an incredible 8-10 hour battery life and comfort-focused design, it’s suitable to wear for several hours or even overnight. And, of course, you can also wear it during sex.

I thought it would be easiest to show you how the Tech Ring is designed to be worn. To that end, I took a picture with the assistance of my Valm Triple Density Silicone Dildo:

FirmTech Tech Ring cock ring wrapped around a bright orange and pink silicone dildo

The Tech Ring comes packaged in an attractive circular box. It’s not unlike the sort of packaging you’d expect a fancy smartwatch or piece of tech to come in. Inside, you’ll find the Tech Ring, its USB charger, an extra sleeve, a travel pouch, and an instruction manual.

The Tech Ring is not waterproof (though it is splashproof) and it is compatible with all water-based lubes. You can take the sensor out of the sleeve to clean it, but it’s really fiddly to get it back in and there’s also the risk of ripping the material so I wouldn’t recommend doing this any more often than you really need to.

Why Would You Need So Much Information About Your Penis and Erections?

Please note that I am not a doctor or any kind of medical professional. I am sharing the facts as I understand them based on the available data, but please do not take anything in this review as any kind of medical advice. If you have concerns about any aspect of your health (sexual or otherwise) or are not sure whether a product like the Tech Ring is right for you, consult your doctor.

According to FirmTech: “number of nocturnal erections a man[1] has during REM sleep is predictive of vascular health.” They also state that “There is a very strong link between erectile dysfunction and heart disease. Several studies have shown that if a man[1] has ED, he has a greater risk of having heart disease.”

Did you know that? Because I didn’t.

You’ll also be able to learn how various factors, such as medications, alcohol, recreational drug use, and exercise play a role in your erectile health. This can help you to make more informed decisions about your health and lifestyle.

In other words, understanding your erectile and penile health is one way into a broader understanding of other aspects of your health. Pretty cool. This product is also endorsed by various medical doctors and urologists, so I feel pretty confident in saying that it’s not just a gimmick and the science stands up to scrutiny.

Of course, if sex is important to you – as it is to most of us! – the Tech Ring can also give you a bunch of interesting information about your sex life and sexual wellness.

[1] I don’t love the gendered language here. Apparently it’s been used so as not to turn off older men from the product. I have a general policy against gendered language which is why I’ve used “penis owner”/”person with a penis” throughout this review.

How Does It Function as a Cock Ring?

On their most basic level, cock rings do one thing: they help to keep blood inside the shaft of the penis, allowing the penis-owner to maintain a firmer erection for longer. They can also be very pleasurable to wear. Many different iterations, including vibrating cock-rings and even remote control ones, are now available.

But how does the Tech Ring stack up as a cock ring?

The exterior of the Tech Ring is made of medical-grade elastomer. It’s unclear whether this material is porous – the information I could find online was conflicting – but it is body-safe for external use.

When I first published this review, I said that I couldn’t see why the product wasn’t silicone. However, I’ve since spoken again to a member of the team and it turns out there’s a great reason for this!

Silicone is too tight and inelastic a material to be worn for hours. That’s why, when you see ordinary cock rings for sale, the advice is typically to wear them for no more than 30 minutes. Silicone can also choke off the arterial flow into the penis, meaning that silicone rings should be put on when already erect. Trials were conducted with silicone but elastomer was found to be both far safer and more comfortable for overnight wear.

The material feels flimsy and gathers lint and dust something awful, meaning that it starts to look dull and dirty again moments after washing it. It also has a slightly gummy texture that I don’t find particularly pleasant. Unfortunately, elastomer just isn’t as durable as some materials and there is already an area on the back of my Tech Ring where it’s starting to degrade and split.

The FirmTech tech ring’s material is very stretchy and gives a light but noticeable pressure when worn. If you have a girthier penis, though, the Tech Ring may be too small for you. The site says that it will comfortably fit anyone “except above 95% in girth.” SD reported finding it too tight to wear for a long period of time.

If you want your Tech Ring tighter for sexual pleasure purposes, though, you can just use the loop or a twist to tighten it. Never do this for overnight or long-term wear.

This product is not primarily designed for pleasure, and it shows. And that’s fine – I would never advocate spending close to $300 on a simple cock-ring! But if you’re primarily looking for something to increase pleasure during sex, this isn’t it.

How’s the App Functionality?

The FirmTech app is free to download for Apple or Android. First you’ll need to set up an account. When you do this, the app asks for data such as your height, weight, and date of birth as well as whether you have certain health conditions, drink alcohol, or use recreational drugs. You can choose to skip these questions if you’d prefer.

Warning: if you input your weight and height, a BMI chart will pop up and tell you whether you’re “underweight”, “healthy,” “overweight”, or “obese.” I hate this. Not only because it can be really triggering to people who suffer with body image struggles or disordered eating (hello!) but also because BMI is a massively flawed system.

You can then do something called the “Sexual Health Inventory for Men” which consists of a few short questions and helps you to assess your erectile fitness and identify whether you have any current or potential erectile dysfunction issues. Then, once you start using the Tech Ring, you’ll get access to information such as a “firmness score”, your average number of nocturnal erections, and your total number of erections per week.

(Screenshot shared without any actual data for privacy.)

Once you’ve set up your account, it’s time to connect the toy. This should only take seconds. Simply turn on the toy by pressing the power button once and then select “pair” in the app.

SD reported some issues with getting the app to connect to the device. He says: “Once charged, I was initially unable to get the device to pair with my phone. The blue light came on to indicate it was ready to pair, but no connection was ever estabished. In the end, I had to delete and reinstall the app and everything worked as it should”. When I tried it on my end, it worked the first time.

The app is fast and responsive, and becomes more and more useful the more you use it. I also found it fairly straightforward and intuitive to use once I’d taken a few minutes to learn what all the different functions did.

Using the FirmTech Tech Ring During Sex

One of the main selling points of the FirmTech Tech Ring is that you can wear it during sexual activity, including partnered sex and masturbation. Before you begin, simply set your ring to record a “session” and then masturbate or have sex as you normally would.

You can then use this data to make comparisons and use it to inform your health decisions. If you experience firm nocturnal erections but struggle to stay hard during sex, for example, that indicates that the problem is likely psychological. A declining number of nocturnal erections, decreased firmness or decreased duration can all indicate potential health problems. (They don’t necessarily, though – so it’s important not to panic and to ask your doctor if you have concerns.)

The Tech Ring is small and unobtrusive enough to not get in the way during sex. In fact, if you’re wearing it correctly and it fits you properly, you’ll likely barely even notice you’re wearing it.

Verdict

Retailing for $275, the Tech Ring is a pretty expensive piece of kit. If you’re just looking for a cock ring, skip it and get something much (much) cheaper.

I don’t really think the Tech Ring is a sex toy, to be honest. I’m just categorising it in that way for ease of publishing this review in the absence of a better option. It’s actually really more of a wellness device or a health tracker.

As a sex toy, I can’t wholeheartedly recommend it. But as a health tracker, I actually think it’s pretty damn cool! As with any technology like this, you’d have to use it very regularly to enjoy its full benefits. But if you’re suffering from any kind of ED issues, want to keep track of your erectile health, or are just curious, it can offer you a wealth of data.

I’d love to see the next iteration drop the gendered language on the website and marketing materials. Also: this is an admittedly small gripe, but the print on the provided instruction flyer is tiny. I have near perfect eyesight and I still had to squint to read it.

Thanks to FirmTech for sponsoring this review and to SilverDom for helping out with the testing! All views are, as always, my own.

Yoyolemon thrusting and rotating masturbator review header

[Toy Review] YoYoLemon Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator

Published on January 5, 2024April 30, 2024 by Amy

Reviewing penis toys can be a challenge for me, not being in possession of a penis. My nesting partner, Mr C&K, is often willing to assist but was unable to on this occasion. I’d like to extend my thanks to my dear friend SilverDom for lending his penis and opinions to the cause of sex toy reviews.

Now let’s take a look at the Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator from YoYoLemon.

YoYoLemon Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator

The YoYoLemon Male Masturbator with Rotating and Thrusting and Female Moans, Realistic Textured Vagina Pocket Pussy (to give it its full and exhausting title!) is a penis masturbator in the typical “hard outer cup, soft inner sleeve” style. Like many other toys of its kind, it wouldn’t look out of place amidst a lineup of high-end kitchen gadgets. It measures a hefty 10.5″ in length and 3.5″ in diameter. The maximum penetration depth is 5.2″.

This toy offers both thrusting and rotating functions, as well as audio playing female voices making moaning sounds. I’m equally amused and a little unsettled by the idea of a toy that moans at you as you use it, but I can see how this might be some people’s thing.

The YoYoLemon Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator is rechargeable. A full charge takes 2.5 hours and gives you anything from 30 minutes to 1.5 hours of runtime, depending on the settings you’re using. Confusingly, the packaging states that the toy is “waterproof” but the instructions then warn you not to keep it in the water for long. I have not tested it in water for fear of killing it, but this suggests to me that it’s somewhat water-resistant for cleaning but it definitely wouldn’t be a good idea to use it in the bath or shower.

SilverDom notes that the text on the packaging “reads like it has been run through Google Translate 17 times.” An actual quote: “Do not let go the start of moanin and return to the moanin forward.” The instructions, such that they are, are written in much the same way. Hire an actual translator for your product info, please and thank you.

Materials and Care

The exterior case is made of hard ABS plastic, while the interior is TPE. This internal part is removeable for cleaning. TPE (thermoplastic elastomer) is usually non-toxic, but it is porous. This means that you can never get it truly sterile. The material will harbour bacteria and begin to degrade after a while.

It’s generally fine to use TPE toys for external use, and the vast majority of penis masturbators are made of this material. However, you should throw it away as soon as it starts to split, smell bad, or show any other signs of material degredation. You shouldn’t share a TPE toy, as this can be an STI transmission risk. Wash it with soap and water after each use, and then dust it with a little bit of cornstarch to encourage it to dry out completely.

In Use

The YoYoLemon Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator looks and feels well-built and is heavy in the hand. Most people will likely need two hands to operate it.

The inner sleeve is lined with dozens of little nubs to provide additional stimulation, and the opening is “vaguely vulva-shaped.” At first, the opening appears quite small, meaning that if your penis is above average in either length or girth you might worry about whether it’ll fit. Don’t worry, though – this toy is stretchy and with a little water-based lube, will accommodate the majority of penis sizes easily. If you have a slimmer penis, you might find it frustrating as the inner tube is quite wide and doesn’t have the tightest grip. SilverDom reported finding the inner nubs quite rough and not particularly pleasurable.

The toy offers 10 patterns of twisting and thrusting and a single button that cycles through them all. What is lacking, though, is speed control. A scroll wheel or separate buttons would fix this problem. “I found all of the patterns entirely useless to me, largely because I had no control over them. I came frustratingly close to orgasm at least 4 times,” SilverDom says.

There are three buttons on the toy in total. The other two switch it on and off, and control the moaning sounds.

Oh, and those moans? They’re basically low-quality mainstream porn sounds. If this is something you find sexy, fair enough. SilverDom and I both agreed it was mostly weird and distracting. There is a headphone jack if you want to make use of this feature discreetly. The toy’s actual sounds in use are – despite claims to the contrary – also rather loud and distracting.

The YoYoLemon Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator features a suction cup to attach it to a wall or other surface for hands-free use. The suction cup is reasonably sturdy and holds it in place well.

Cleaning is ostensibly easy thanks to the removeable inner part. However, it’s actually quite hard to take apart and put back together. This is made worse by the fact that the tube and entrance are two separate pieces.

Verdict

This one’s more miss than hit, unfortunately. There are just too many problems and design-and-execution flaws for me to really recommend it. Speed controls, a non-porous material, a better designed internal sleeve, and removing or improving the weird moaning function would all vastly improve the quality of this product.

This toy retails for $79.99/£65.99. It might be cheaper than other comparable products on the market, but it’s not really worth the cost saving when there’s such a dip in quality. You can spend just a little more and get something much better.

I’m gonna conclude with SilverDom’s TL/DR: “I don’t think a toy has ever made me feel so sexually frustrated… or with such temporary hearing loss!” Unfortunately, the promised “earth-shaking orgasms” were not forthcoming.

This review was sponsored, which means I was paid to write an honest and unbiased review. All views are mine and the toy tester’s. Pics are by YoYoLemon.

Header for review of BestVibe tongue vibrators

[Toy Review] Four BestVibe Tongue Vibrators

Published on September 18, 2023April 30, 2024 by Amy

Tongue vibrators are having a moment in a big way. In our ongoing quest to find a sex toy that feels like receiving cunnilingus (more on that below), companies are coming up with more and more interesting – and occasionally outlandish – variations on the tongue vibrator theme.

BestVibe, who have kindly sponsored a series of posts, have a large array of tongue vibrators in their catalogue. They sent me four to try out, compare and contrast, and ultimately judge for which one is my favourite.

Let’s go.

Selection of BestVibe tongue vibrators in their boxes

A Note on My Review Criteria

I’ve said this before and I’ll repeat it here: there is absolutely no such thing as a toy that genuinely feels like receiving cunnilingus from a partner. (I wish there was, because I would pay serious cash moneys for that product!) It just does not exist. Sex toy technology is not there yet.

Therefore, I will NOT be grading these toys on the extent to which they mimic cunnilingus. That is an unfair and currently impossible standard. Instead, I will grade them on the basis of factors such as:

Materials
Design and aesthetic
Functionality
Feel
Power
Volume
Effectiveness (e.g. “did it get me off?”)

I’ll share the pros and cons of each product and give it a score out of 10.

Tongue Vibrator #1: “Rose Low Noise 5 Thrusting & Vibrating 7 Tongue Licking Vibrator” ($39.44)

Find it here.

Pros

Made of body-safe silicone,
It looks like a rose, which is kind of cute.
Double-ended toy: features both a tongue for clitoral stimulation and a thrusting shaft for G-spot play.
You can use both the features at the same time (great for sharing, I guess, though I can’t quite picture how the physics of that would work in practice) or separately (far more practical.)

Cons

The tongue is far too rigid. Even on the lowest setting, it just HURTS. It’s a hard pointy thing flicking back and forth against your clit, and it’s exactly as unpleasurable as that sounds.
The thrusting mechanism only moves about an inch and its movement is severely hampered by my vaginal walls when it’s actually inside me.
The claim of “low noise” is hilariously untrue. It has the typical whining sound of any thrusting toy and the tongue part makes a distracting sort of buzz/rattle.

Verdict

Bad. 2/10.

Tongue Vibrator #2: Fiona Rose Clit Licking & Vibrating Stimulator Multifunctional Vibrator ($39.99)

BestVibe double ended vibrator rose tongue sex toy

Find it here.

Pros

Made of body-safe silicone.
The softer, more flexible tongue actually feels amazing on my clit.
The “come hither” motion of the insertable end is excellent for G-spot stimulation.
Each end can be controlled separately or used together.
The long stem/cord design allows for more flexibility of positioning and more possibilities in using both ends at once if you want to.
The flicking tongue end is very quiet when used by itself.

Cons

The vibrations are very buzzy.
Annoying mechanical whine when the G-spot stimulator is turned on.
I’d have preferred fewer patterns and another level or two of continuous “licking.”

Verdict

Surprisingly decent. 6/10.

Tongue Vibrator #3: Beinlove Tongue Lick Rabbit Clitoris Nipple Vibrator ($73.84)

Find it here.

Pros

The soft, flicking, textured tongue feels fantastic on my clit.
Fully waterproof.
Comes with two different size suction cups to accommodate different bodies and uses.

Cons

Extremely weird and baffling aesthetic. Why does it have a bunny face and ears? How is that necessary? (Have we just inextricably associated rabbits with sex toys now… and can we please stop?)
The clear cup part is supposed to provide a seal and stimulate the entire vulva via vacuum suction, but it just… doesn’t. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t get a seal. I suspect this might be because I have pubic hair. But if a sex toy relies on the user having no pubic hair in order to use it, then it is a badly designed sex toy.
The suction cups don’t attach very well to the main toy. They’re either half falling off, or trapping the tongue so it doesn’t move properly.
The noise. Dear god, the whining squeaking noise.
The tongue and suction cups, i.e. the parts that actually come into contact with the body, are made of TPE rather than silicone. This is a porous material that will harbour bacteria and degrade over time.

Verdict

Interesting idea, poor execution. 4/10.

Tongue Vibrator #4: Helran 10 Vibrating & 7 Tongue Licking G Spot Stimulator ($79.99)

Find it here.

Pros

Made of body-safe silicone.
Steady and consistent licking motion that feels great when combined with plenty of lube. I prefer using the flat side rather than the pointier tip, but your mileage may vary of course.
Actually made me cum! The only one of the 4 that did. It was a slow build and I think I’d need to be both very turned on already and quite patient, but it can actually get me there. So that’s nice given that, you know, it’s kinda the entire point of a sex toy.
It warms up to 42C in use, which feels really nice.
Some of the different pattern settings actually feel good! Knowing how I feel about patterns generally, this was a pleasant surprise.

Cons

It’s a giant disembodied tongue. It has VEINS and everything. This toy feels the best of the four by far, but its aesthetic is nightmare fuel.
There is absolutely no universe in which this is a G-spot stimulator. You COULD stick it inside yourself if you wanted, I guess, but the angle and type of stimulation is all wrong to do anything to a G-spot.
The silicone is very grabby. This means it’s prone to picking up lint and dust and such. It also means you’ll need a LOT of lube to have a good time.
Squeaky as fuck.

Verdict

Surprising no-one more than me, this one is actually the winner! A respectable 7/10.

This post was sponsored by BestVibe. My readers can enjoy 20% off all products in their store by using code “coffee” at checkout! All writing and views are, as always, my own.

TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator review header

[Toy Review] TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator

Published on July 27, 2023April 30, 2024 by Amy

This review has been a while in the making, so first I would like to thank TWIJOY for being so patient with me. I prefer to get things done properly rather than rushing to get them out quickly, and between some ongoing life stuff and a bout of COVID, there’s been a lot going on at C&K HQ.

I would also like to thank my Twitter pal Gentleman_Perve for his assistance in testing this toy and providing feedback. Me and the readers appreciate you lending your penis to the cause of accurate sex toy reviews!

So with that said, let’s take a look at the TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator.

TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator: State of the Art Stroker

The TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator looks like a high-end kitchen appliance. “It looked right at home charging on my kitchen counter!”, G_P says. Its design is sleek and stylish, and it is not immediately obvious as a sex toy. It’s one of those “if you know you know” type things.

It has an opening at one end, housing a soft sleeve with textured nubbins. Those with shorter penises may find that they struggle to reach the rotating part. The interior material seems to be some kind of TPE. This material is body-safe for external use (though it is porous, so it’s best not to share this toy with anyone else for hygiene reasons.)

The TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator is IPX7 waterproof, meaning it can be submerged in water for play in the bath or shower and for ease of cleaning. It is rechargeable via the included cable.

Buttons and Controls

The TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator operates on a 5 button interface that is easy to decipher and use.

You’ll need to long-press the On/Off button to switch your toy on or off. The Rotate button rotates the inner sleeve, pressing the button again changes its pattern, and pressing and holding it stops the rotating. The Sucking button allows you to turn the sucking function on and off and to cycle through the different settings, and the Pressure button allows you to increase the toy’s pressure. Finally, the Exhaust button releases the toy with a short press.

So far, so intuitive!

Functionality and Feel

One of the greatest selling points of the TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator is that it comes with so much inbuilt functionality. Between the rotating, sucking, and pressure functions, it’s easy to customise your experience. It can reach up to an impressive 200 rotations per minute!

The toy’s entrance is generously sized but may still feel tight particularly if your penis is girthy. Always use plenty of lube for a comfortable experience.

“I hit the Pressure button, but something that on my thumb had been pleasurable on my penis felt like it was going to rip my foreskin off!” says G_P. “I hit the Exhaust button which helped a lot,” he adds. So unless you like a LOT of tightness to the point of pain, you might want to be careful with that Pressure button!

The rotate button fared much better, offering a pleasurable stimulating feeling as the nubbins rotate around the shaft and head of the penis. If you prefer constant stimulation, you may find the patterns frustrating. They tend to stop and start or switch direction. Others will enjoy this variation. It’s purely a “your mileage may vary” situation. The steady speeds are quite slow, so that may be an issue if you prefer fast and furious rather than slow and steady.

“Next I tried the suck function, which uses the vacuum to suck and release in a number of different patterns,” G_P says. “Fortunately the increase and decrease in pressure here were much better than with the pressure button. It was very clever.” You can use these functions both separately and together.

One thing to bear in mind is that the suction on this toy is strong. “I tried to remove my penis and found it firmly suctioned into the device and painful to remove,” G_P says. “The Exhaust button was no use, so I had to open the case at the top where it separates for cleaning and release the pressure.”

The TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator is also loud, sounding like somewhere between a kitchen appliance and breathing apparatus. Truly silent motorised sex toys do not exist, so I always take claims that a toy is quiet with a pinch of salt. You do have to deal with a certain level of volume if you want power. But it’s something to be aware of if volume is an issue for you.

App Connectivity

When you buy your TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator, you have to select either the Android or iOS operating system. Make sure you get the right one, or you won’t be able to use your toy with the app! I received the Android version.

G_P reported that app connectivity was difficult. Once you have downloaded the app, you have to log in using Google, Facebook, or something similar or create an account with your email address. If security is a concern for you, use a burner account.

When you download and connect to the TWIJOY app, you’ll be awarded 300 tokens as a joining offer. This can be used to purchase time with the various webcam models who work through the platform if interactive online play is your thing (including letting them take control of your toy remotely.) You can buy more credits if you wish.

Another fun function of the TWIJOY app is the ability to send a control link to another person. This allows them to control your toy from anywhere in the world. This can be fun for long distance couples.

The app itself seems fairly simple and intuitive to use, with a clean and user-friendly interface.

Verdict

A mixed bag, this one. Overall, the main selling point of this toy seems to be for those who enjoy playing with cam models online. If having your favourite performer take control of your toy sounds like a fun time, then this toy will be a great choice for you.

It’s also a good option if you are looking for a technologically sophisticated toy to use with a long distance partner. If you’re just looking for a straightforward masturbator, though, it would not be my first recommendation.

The TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator retails for £100.

Thanks to TWIJOY for sponsoring this review. All opinions are mine and the tester’s own. Pictures are by TWIJOY.

Habakon B-Warrior masturbator review header

[Toy Review] Habakon B-Warrior Automatic Masturbator

Published on May 28, 2023April 30, 2024 by Amy

I don’t review all that many penis toys on this site for the simple and obvious reason that I do not have a penis. I do, however, have a very accommodating and penis-enabled nesting partner who is often very willing to lend his genitals to the cause of sex blogging (#DoinItForTheReaders! You’re welcome.)

Today’s review is of a penis masturbator (often and erroniously called a “male masturbator” – not all men have penises and not everyone with a penis is a man!) by a new-to-me brand. So how did the Habakon B-Warrior Automatic Masturbator fare in testing?

Habakon B-Warrior Automatic Masturbator

The Habakon B-Warrior Automatic Masturbator is a handheld masturbation sleeve designed for people with penises. It measures 9.5″ in length and has an insertable depth of 5.5″.

The exterior (the portion you hold in your hand) is made of ABS plastic. The interior (the part you put your penis into) is made of TPE. I’d prefer it was silicone, of course, but I can forgive TPE for a non-insertable toy. However, it’s best if you don’t share this toy, and you shouldn’t expect it to last forever even with good care as TPE is porous.

The internal portion is removeable for easy cleaning. Pop it out and wash it with warm water and gentle soap, then let it dry thoroughly before putting it back into the case. Some people say that dusting TPE toys with a little cornstarch helps them to retain their quality and structural integrity for longer.

The Habakon B-Warrior is rechargeable via the included USB cable, with a 2 hour charge giving you around an hour of runtime. It is not waterproof, so do not use it in the bath or shower and always remove the sleeve for cleaning.

In Use

The first thing I noticed straight away about the Habakon B-Warrior when I took it out of the box is this: it’s really, really heavy. This may or may not be a problem for you, of course, but if holding and manipulating heavy objects is problem that’s something to be aware of. I can’t hold it and use it on my partner for very long due to its weight, though he had less trouble using it on himself. I have tiny hands, which probably didn’t help.

"Male masturbation sleeve," or masturbator for penis owners

The TPE interior is really soft and feels lovely to the touch. It’s also heavily textured inside for additional stimulation. Unlike some penis toys I’ve seen, this one seems to be genuinely suited to dicks of all sizes. You’d be amazed how many toys we’ve tried in which, without putting too fine a point on it, my partner’s dick simply wouldn’t fit. Not the case here and, with the help of a little water-based lube (necessary as TPE can be quite grabby), he was able to slide straight into it with no discomfort.

The Habakon B-Warrior isn’t too loud, but it’s sound is very distinctive. In particular, when the suction is on you’ll get a sort of squelching noise followed by a squeak. How much that bothers you, though, will be down to individual preference.

Settings & Controls

The Habakon B-Warrior Automatic Masturbator offers two modes of stimulation: vibration and suction.

The vibrations are incredibly weak, unfortunately. I could literally barely feel them on my fingers and my partner said the same thing about his penis. I don’t know if the problem is the placement of the motor or the quality of the motor (or both), but if you like intense vibrations, skip this one.

The suction mechanism is better. It gives a definite and intense squeeze. “I feel like I’m being milked!” my partner commented. He said he thinks it’s unlikely this toy would ever make him orgasm. But if the idea of having the orgasm squeezed out of your dick with a sucking type motion appeals to you, you’ll love the B-Warrior Masturbator.

The controls are simple: turn the toy on and off with the largest button, then use the two icon buttons to switch between vibration and suction settings. There are 4 vibration modes, 3 suction modes, and something called “one click orgasm”. The latter involves pressing a separate button on the back of the toy, which then enhances the sucking mechanism. This supposedly “allows you to reach climax any time” but… bodies don’t really work like that. Still, it might up the pleasure if more intense suction is a thing you like!

The buttons are large, well-placed, and easy to press.

Verdict

My verdict on this one is a mix. Ultimately, it didn’t work particularly well for us. However, that’s likely to be a matter of preference rather than a direct comment on the quality of the toy. It may work great for you!

The Habakon B-Warrior Automatic Masturbator retails for $66.99. My readers can get 15% off with the code Habakon01.

This review was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write an honest and fair review. All opinions are my own (and Mr C&K’s!)

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day 14 header - textured stroker

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day #14: Textured Stroker

Published on November 8, 2022April 30, 2024 by Amy

14 days down, 10 to go! I’m unboxing Lovehoney and Womanizer’s 2022 Sex Toy Advent Calendar day by day and bringing you a mini review of everything that’s inside.

Read the rest of the series here and, if you decide to buy the calendar or anything else from Lovehoney, please click through via one of my affiliate links. It sends a small commission my way and helps keep the blog going at no additional cost to you.

Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 Day 14: Textured Stroker

Product Info

Material: TPE
Colour: Translucent white
Body safe? Sort of. TPE isn’t toxic, but it is porous and will harbour bacteria.
Waterproof: Yes, submersible
Size: 6″ long and 4″ wide when flat
Lube compatible: Yes, water-based is recommended
Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water. Please note that TPE can be washed but cannot be sterilised.

Pros

Nice ribbed and dotted texturing
Flat wrap-around design makes it suitable for all penis sizes

Cons

Weird powdery texture that makes my sensory issues unhappy
Material cannot be properly sterilised due to its porous nature
May only last a few uses

Verdict

This is an interesting design; I like that it’s flat and wrap-around rather than the usual tube shape, and the texturing is excellent. Due to it being made of porous TPE, which will start to break down after a while, it’s probably only going to last a short time. Grab a silicone stroker if you enjoy this sensation and want a longer-lasting toy!

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 2022 Couples’ Sex Toy Advent Calendar, which retails for £130 and contains £374.99 worth of products, to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going! US readers can buy it here.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day 2 header

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day #2: Ribbed Stroker

Published on October 27, 2022April 30, 2024 by Amy

It’s that time of year again, and I’m pleased to be bringing you another day-by-day unboxing of Lovehoney and Womanizer’s 2022 Sex Toy Advent Calendar! Let’s see what’s behind Door #2…

Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 Day 2: Ribbed Stroker

Ribbed stroker from Lovehoney sex toy advent calendar 2022

Product Info

Material: TPE, I think
Colour: Translucent white
Body safe? Kinda. TPE isn’t toxic but it is porous and will harbour bacteria
Waterproof: Yes, submersible
Size: 4″ in length, very stretchy
Lube compatible: Yes, water-based only
Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water. Please note that TPE can be washed but cannot be sterilised

Pros

Small pocket in the side, allowing you to insert yesterday’s bullet vibrator (or any bullet vibe of your choice)
Soft, squishy feeling material
Very stretchy, making it suitable for the vast majority of dick sizes
Nice internal texturing

Cons

Material cannot be fully sterilised due to its porous nature
Material is already starting to tear around the holes
Likely only good for a few uses

Verdict

An okay stroker for a few uses, or for a beginner to find out if this is a sensation they enjoy. It won’t last long, though, so if you enjoy using it I recommend upgrading to a silicone stroker ASAP.

Header image for Lovehoney penis sleeve review

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #22: Penis Sleeve

Published on October 11, 2021September 2, 2024 by Amy

Update 04/03/22: this product is seasonal only and has been discontinued. Individual components may still be available.

With only three days to go, we’re definitely into the home stretch of this adventure now! In case you’re brand new here (hi, welcome!) I’m currently reviewing Lovehoney’s “Best Sex of Your Life” adult advent calendar, a set aimed at couples which offers a sex toy, kinky implement, or other item to improve your sex life each day.

So what’s behind Door #22?

Door #22: Penis Sleeve

I’ve had a wide range of feelings about the items in this advent calendar, ranging from very positive to “ugh, seriously?” But today is the first one that has genuinely, seriously annoyed me! Let’s take a look at this stretchy penis sleeve and find out why I’m going “aaaaahhhhhh no!”

Material: A jelly-like “soft plastic”, possibly TPE.
Colour: Clear.
Body safe? No. More on why below.
Power: N/A.
Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
Size: 4″ total length, very stretchy.
Lube compatible: Should work with any kind of lube.
Cleaning: You really can’t clean this material. Gentle soap and warm water will clean surface dirt but since it’s porous, it’ll never be entirely clean again.

The basic idea of a penis sleeve like this is that you stretch it over your penis before penetrative sex. The bumps and nodules supposedly offer additional stimulation to the receptive partner, while helping the wearer to “last longer”, presumably by reducing the sensations they can feel.

Setting aside all the problems with the ubiquitous idea that a penis owner’s job is to “last” as long as possible during sex, the premise of this toy pisses me off. Sure, wearing a penis sleeve might mean you don’t come as quickly (or at all, until you take it off). Why? Because you can’t fucking feel anything!

I also seriously question how much these little jelly bumps and ridges are going to do for the person being penetrated. They’re not really pronounced enough to have the effect of, say, a highly textured dildo. I suspect the effect, for most people, will be little more than that of one of those “ribbed for her pleasure” condoms (i.e. basically nothing.)

Then we get into the safety issue. The website and packaging insists this penis sleeve doesn’t contain phthalates, so let’s take that at face value. But phthalates aren’t the only reason to be wary of jelly-like, “soft plastic” and TPE/TPR sex toys. According to toxic toy expert Dangerous Lilly, these materials are often softened with mineral oils and can contain other harmful chemicals besides phthalates. The material is also unstable and will begin to break down after a few months. (That myth about silicone toys melting together in storage? They won’t, but these mystery soft plastic toys likely will!)

Lovehoney penis sleeve on Godemiche Ambit silicone dildo — Feat. the Godemiche Ambit in a limited-edition Valentine’s Day design

This material is also extremely porous. I have mixed feelings about porous materials for external toys (TL;dr: probably okay for a few uses, but replace them often) but I NEVER recommend using them internally. Just from handling this penis sleeve, taking photos, and leaving it out on my desk overnight, it’s started to dull and get cloudy with lint, house dust, and the oils from my skin. You will NEVER get this thing clean, and it will harbour bacteria that could potentially give you a nasty infection. If you absolutely must use it for sex, please use it once and then throw it in the trash where it belongs.

Bottom line: I actually can’t tell you how it feels, because my partner and I both refuse to put this contraption anywhere near our genitals. Steer clear. I cannot stress enough how much I hate it. The fact that it’s included in a set that is fundamentally marketed at beginners, who may not know any better (because we don’t exactly get taught about toy safety in sex education), just makes it worse.

If you want to get your own Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar, they retail for £120. You can also get 10% off this or anything else you want to order at Lovehoney by using my code “AFF-COFFKINK10” at checkout.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Header image for Lovehoney advent calendar penis stroker Tenga Egg style toy review

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #12: Penis Stroker

Published on October 1, 2021September 2, 2024 by Amy

Update 04/03/22: this product is seasonal only and has been discontinued. Individual components may still be available.

Receiving the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” adult advent calendar was a slight moment of sex blogger pride for me. I’ve coveted these things to review for a while, but this is the first time I’ve been able to get my hands on one.

I’m opening a door each day and reviewing the set a piece at a time, occasionally with Mr CK’s help. Today is Day 12!

Door #12: Penis Stroker

Lovehoney male stroker male masturbator in box

Behind Door #12 is a stroker for people with penises. (It’s called a “male stroker” on the box. Lovehoney, I love you but please sort out the unnecessarily gendered language for next year!)

Material: Some kind of soft plastic, most likely TPE/TRP.
Colour: White.
Body safe? Kinda. The box indicates these strokers do not contain any phthalates, but the material is super porous. They’re safe enough for external use but won’t last very long.
Power: N/A
Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
Size: 2.5″ in length but SUPER stretchy.
Lube compatible: Water-based only, according to the instructions.
Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water. This material is porous so you won’t be able to get it fully clean. Consider it fluid-bonded to the person who uses it. I’d also suggest you throw it out after a few uses or if the material starts to degrade.

This specific product doesn’t seem to be available by itself, but it is very similar to the strokers you get in Tenga Eggs. It is textured inside and designed to fit over the head of the penis and then stretch as you masturbate your (or your partner’s) penis.

It’s very stretchy and pretty strong, so it will accommodate a wide range of sizes and you don’t need to worry about ripping it. It comes pre-lubricated, but adding extra water-based lube will only make your experience more enjoyable.

Lovehoney penis stroker on Godemiche Adam silicone dildo — Feat. Godemiche Adam dildo in Effulgence Blood Red

How does it feel? Let’s just say I got a very good response from an initially-sceptical Mr CK. If you usually masturbate with your hand, strokers can be a brilliant way to change things up and add a new sensation. And if you enjoy hand sex with a partner, a textured penis stroker can turn a good hand job into an amazing hand job.

If you get this kit and enjoy using this stroker, I’d suggest swapping out to a more durable (preferably silicone) one when you can. Failing that, Tenga Eggs are pretty affordable at £9.99 so you can just replace them frequently.

Get 10% off the Best Sex of Your Life sex toy advent calendar (RRP £120) by using my code “AFF-COFFKINK10” at checkout. These calendars are only available for a limited time and will sell out, so grab yours asap if you’re interested.