In a nutshell, a clitoral stimulation cream (/gel/balm/oil/etc.) is a substance that you apply to the clitoris and surrounding area. The ingredients work to enhance pleasure, create additional sensations such as tingling and warming, and boost sensitivity. They’re a great tool for people who struggle with arousal difficulties or loss of sensitivity, or just for anyone who wants to experience heightened arousal or more pleasure. They also have some great potential applications in kink and BDSM scenarios, particularly around orgasm control and forced orgasm.
Pulse Clitoral Stimulation Cream: What’s In It?
Image: Shevibe/Vibeology
You probably know by now that when it comes to any product that goes directly on the genitals, the first place I look is the ingredients list. So what’s in Vibeology Clitoral Stimulation Cream and is it safe and body-friendly?
Purified water
Aloe Barbadensis (Aloe Vera) leaf juice: A natural and safe ingredient which also has positive skincare benefits such as hydrating and irritation-reducing
Dimethiconol: A silicone-based liquid polymer that is used as a skin conditioner and to improve viscosity in silicone-based products. As it is a large molecule, it does not penetrate the skin and is likely a safe ingredient.
Polysorbate 20: A surfactant and emulsifier which studies have determined to be safe.
Squalane: Squalene (note the spelling) is an oil that is traditionally taken from shark livers but can also be derived from plant sources. It has been a popular ingredient in skincare products for many years thanks to its hydrating and anti-inflammatory properties. Squalane is just a slightly different form of squalene. Animal-based squalane is not only cruel, but also environmentally unfriendly and unsustainable. I reached out to Vibeology’s team and their development chemist confirmed that they use plant-based squalane from olives.
Hydroxyethylcellulose: A plant-derived gelling and thickening agent that seems to be safe.
PEG-16 Macadamia glycerides: A liquid emollient derived from macadamia nut oil and considered to be safe for cosmetic use.
Mentha Piperita (peppermint) leaf oil: An essential oil derived from the peppermint plant and safe in small quantities. Provides a cooling and tingling sensation, which is why you so often see it in this type of product.
Bisabolol: A safe plant-based skin soothing extract, primarily from chamomile.
Tocopherol acetate: A pure form of Vitamin E that is safe and commonly appears in skincare products.
Zanthoyxlum Bungeanum extract: An extract from Sichuan peppers that finds use in both food and skincare and does not appear to have any negative effects.
Cucumis Sativus extract: An extract from the cucumber plant that can be soothing to the skin and also adds to the product’s scent.
Citric acid: A preservative that is harmless in small quantities.
I have no concerns about Vibeology Pulse Clitoral Stimulation Cream from a body-safety perspective.
Sensory Properties
Vibeology Pulse Clitoral Stimulation Cream comes in a small and easy-to-use pump top bottle.
This product has a noticeably lighter scent than many of the similar products I’ve tried. Some of them are almost overwhelmingly minty. So if you are sensitive to scents, this might be a good alternative to consider. It’s still minty, but it’s light and pleasant.
Initially, I really loved the feel of this cream. It feels silky-smooth and massages into my skin easily. However, I quickly noticed that it was feeling pretty sticky. After I’d applied it I was left with a tacky, oily residue on my fingers that I needed to wash off quickly.
This stuff also tastes vile. Most of the arousal gels, creams and oils I’ve tried have had a distinctive but not unpleasant taste (except that one that tasted like inhaling perfume!) For some reason, though, Vibeology Pulse Clitoral Stimulation Cream has a really nasty, chemically taste that I couldn’t get out of my mouth. Don’t use this for oral, is what I’m saying here.
So far, so… not great. But did it achieve the desired effect?
Does It Work?
For me? Not really.
I’ve used quite a few products like this, and they have varying levels of effectiveness. This one produced a slight tingling, but very little else and its effects wore off very quickly. I applied more, and the same thing happened. Overall, really disappointing.
Vibeology’s website claims this product is “compatible with pleasure objects,” by which I assume they mean sex toys. The presence of dimethiconol, a silicone, makes me hesitant about using it with silicone toys. With the tiny quantities you need, it’s probably fine, but I recommend doing a patch-test first so you don’t accidentally ruin your favourite silicone toy.
Due to the various oils, don’t use this one with barriers such as condoms or dams as it can degrade or damage them.
Verdict
Meh. I was underwhelmed by this one, especially after liking Vibeology’s lube so much. Unfortunately, it just… didn’t really work. I’ll be publishing a full buying guide to clitoral stimulation creams, gels and oils in the coming months, but in the interim I suggest these alternatives:
Pulse Clitoral Stimulation Cream retails for $21/£17 for 30ml.
Thanks to Shevibe for sending me this clitoral stimulation cream to test and review! All views and experiences are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping with them sends me a small commission at no additional cost to you.
Whenever I encounter a sex-related thing I haven’t tried before, I immediately want to try it (and tell my readers all about it, obviously.) That’s why, when For Play Couples’ Chocolate came across my social feed recently, I immediately fired off an email to founder Victoria to enquire about featuring them on my blog.
She was kind enough to send me some samples of her company’s products to try. We decided to publish this review today in celebration of World Chocolate Day.
Sex and chocolate are, after all, two of life’s greatest pleasures.
So What is For Play Chocolate?
For Play Chocolate came about when Victoria – a former CMO with an MBA – began to research the issue of sustaining intimacy in a long-term relationship. Drawing on research from an array of experts including Dr Karen Gurney and Emily Nagoski, PhD, she decided to create a product to “remind couples to make time for intimacy and play.”
Known variously as couples’ chocolate, sex chocolate, horny chocolate, and aphrodisiac chocolate, For Play Chocolate kits are designed to help couples to connect, get in the mood for romance, and enjoy greater levels of intimacy.
Each box of For Play Chocolates comes with six chocolates (three for each partner) and six “Play Cards”. The cards offer suggestions for erotic experiences to try, from taking a sexy shower together to experimenting with food play. There are also question prompts you can use to help you connect, reflect, and learn more about each other and your relationship.
The chocolates are labelled “His” and “Hers”, and there are boxes available for same-gender or different-gender couples. I’d love to see a non-binary or genderless version added to the range in the future, if possible.
They come beautifully packaged in sleek and stylish boxes in either pink, purple, or green. The chocolates themselves are beautiful, too, decorated with pink and bronze edible shimmer. The overall first impression is of luxury and high quality.
For Play’s products are vegan and made using ethically sourced 62% Ecuadorian dark chocolate. Their supplier is Original Beans chocolate, rated as a leading company by Chocolate Scorecard for environmental, sustainability, and labour practices.
How Does It Work?
For Play’s chocolate is super delicious, combining the sweet-bitter combo of quality dark chocolate with the infusion of subtle, natural botanical flavours. It melts smoothly in the mouth and the popping candy leaves a fun tingling sensation in its wake.
But how does it work?
Mr C&K had a long chat about this when we sampled our chocolates, and we came to the conclusion that this product works in two main ways. I’m going to call them “direct” and “indirect.”
The Direct Effects: The Science Bit
The direct way that For Play Chocolate works is through its botanical and adaptogenic ingredients. To understand this better, we need to delve into the science a little bit.
An aphrodisiac, in the most basic sense, is “a food or drug that arouses sexual instinct, brings on desire, or increases sexual pleasure or performance” (Healthline.) Numerous foods, from oysters to strawberries and even hot chilli peppers, have been alleged to be aphrodisiacs throughout history.
Another common food thought to have aphrodisiac properties? Dark chocolate.
Little to no concrete scientific evidence directly links most common aphrodisiac foods to an increase in sexual desire. However, this doesn’t mean there is nothing to the concept at all. Experts have attempted to explain aphrodisiacs’ apparent benefits through various means, from simple placebo to the sensual pleasure of consuming delicious things, the “luxury” status that society affords some of these foods, and the impact on bodily functions that play a role in sexual activity and desire (such as blood flow and dopamine release.)
Some foods and edible compounds, therefore, may play a role in sexual functioning in various ways. Let’s look at the active ingredients in For Play’s couples’ chocolate and what the research has to say about them.
Dark Chocolate
Dark chocolate is rich in both antioxidants and caffeine, both of which can improve blood flow. It also contains L-arginine, which may enhance sexual responsiveness. A 2021 systematic review suggested that “l-arginine, as part of a combination product, may be considered for the treatment of women with Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, regardless of age.” (Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder or HSDD is, broadly, a lack of sexual desire or very low desire that causes distress or negatively impacts your life.) Consuming chocolate also triggers the release of chemicals such as endorphins and dopamine, which are associated with feelings of happiness and wellbeing.
Maca
Maca, which comes from the Peruvian maca root plant, has long been thought to boost fertility and sexual desire. One 2002 study indicated an improvement in self-perception of sexual desire in men after 8 weeks of maca use. Another pilot investigation also indicated that treatment with maca extract increased sexual desire amongst male athletes. Maca is only in For Play’s “For Him” chocolates, as there is currently more evidence for its effectiveness in (cis) men.
Ashwagandha
Ashwagandha is a herb that originated in India and has been utilised in various ways for centuries. A 2015 pilot study showed that ashwagandha root extract could improve sexual functioning in otherwise healthy cis women. Another 2022 study indicated that treatment with ashwagandha provided a “statistically significant improvement” in sexual functioning amongst women with HSDD. Ashwagandha is in For Play’s “For Her” chocolates.
Fenugreek
Fenugreek, a clover-like herb that belongs to the pea family, finds use in both cooking and herbal medicines. One study found that “Sexual function analysis for all women… found that treatment with fenugreek resulted in reported increases in sexual arousal and desire in women” (Tester, 2015.) Another double-blinded and placebo-controlled 2021 study found that fenugreek “offered significant beneficial effects to sexual problems” amongst its female participants.
Korean ginseng
Ginseng is a vasodilator, or something that opens the blood vessels. By increasing blood flow in this way, it can have sexual benefits such as helping with erectile dysfunction. A small 2002 study and a 2008 systematic review found “suggestive evidence for the effectiveness of red ginseng in treating ED.” Likewise, a placebo-controlled double blind 2010 study found that “Oral administration of KRG extracts improved sexual arousal in menopausal women.”
In a Nutshell…
A product like For Play Chocolate is a helping hand, not a magic bullet. If you’re stressed out, angry at your partner, or suffering from the sexual side effects of health problems or medication, it isn’t going to magically override all that and make you horny. No food or substance can, because human sexuality is way more complicated than that.
What its ingredients can do, though, is give your body a natural nudge in the right direction. Combined with creating the right conditions for pleasure and intimacy – which we’ll discuss more in the next section – these adaptogenic ingredients can work with your body to enhance intimacy and pleasure.
For Play notes that you should seek medical advice before using their products if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or taking any medications. And, of course, you should avoid this product if you are allergic or sensitive to any of the ingredients.
The Indirect Effects: Finding New Ways to Stay Connected
The indirect way that For Play Chocolate works is all about creating the time, space, and physical and emotional context for greater intimacy in your relationship.
Sex, after all, is mental at least as much as physical. In her life-changing book Come As You Are, Emily Nagoski writes extensively about the devastating impact that life stress, mental health challenges, lack of trust, lack of emotional safety, and feelings of pressure can have on sexual desire. To connect better with our partners and ourselves, we need to reduce stress, feel safe and seen, and make space for desire and pleasure.
Staying connected and keeping intimacy, passion, and sex going in a long-term relationship can be challenging. New relationship energy (NRE) naturally fades over time into the more comfortable, cosy warmth of long-term love. This is particularly true when you’re married or nested, your lives are very entangled, or you’re raising children together.
It is important for couples to set time aside to focus on each other and their relationship. Exploration, adventure, and trying new things can all help to keep the spark of novelty alive. With those things and a little effort, the long haul can be where the really good stuff is. There’s nothing like completely knowing someone and them knowing you inside and out, and choosing each other every day.
Using a product like For Play Couples’ Chocolate can help you to create that all-important time together. It can facilitate the conditions needed for intimacy of all kinds – including sexual, physical, and emotional – to flourish.
For Play Couples’ Chocolate is really a date night in a box. You get to set aside dedicated time for your relationship, enjoy some tasty treats together, and explore new ways of connecting. There are even some suggested Spotify playlists to help set the mood.
I found the question cards particularly great for this aspect of the experience. The question prompts sparked some interesting discussions and also plenty of laughter. Even seemingly simple questions (“What does intimacy mean to you?” was my favourite) can get you thinking and talking about things in a different way.
Verdict
I really enjoyed this product, which is far more than just a gimmick. A lot of thought and care has gone into the formulation and creation of For Play’s kits. The quality of the chocolate, ethical credentials, and beautiful presentation really elevates them, too.
For Play Chocolates retail for £28 per kit. That’s less than you’d pay for a meal in a mid-range restaurant or about what you’d pay for a couple of drinks in a nice bar. Since you only need one chocolate each time, you’ll get three experiences out of one box. And, of course, you can continue to use the cards for as long as you like.
A thoughtful (and tasty) romantic gift or a cute way to set aside a little “us time” with your partner. There’s also a 30 day satisfaction guarantee with your purchase.
Thanks to For Play Chocolate for sending me this product to test and sponsoring this review. All views are, as always, mine. Professional product images by For Play and reproduced here with permission.
I love reviewing sex toys, of course, but sometimes I find I want to do something a bit different. To that end, you’ll be seeing a few more wide-ranging reviews coming out over the next few weeks and months, starting with today’s.
I recently received a shipment from products from Aphrodisia, Bijoux Indiscrets‘ new range of scented products that includes (amongst others) a massage candle, a body mist, massage gels, and this “clitoral arousal balm” or orgasm enhancer.
What is Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer?
An orgasm enhancer is a balm or gel that you apply to your genitals – in this case, the clitoris – to increase sensitivity. At least in theory and for some people, they can improve the likelihood, speed, frequency, and intensity of orgasms.
The Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer is a water-based product that contains a long list of primarily plant-based ingredients. I Googled the ones I’m not familiar with, and they are all generally regarded as safe for cosmetic use. (Though I don’t love the use of “parfum”, which is non-specific and can refer to any combination of over 3000 ingredients. This is standard practice for cosmetics and personal care products, unfortunately.) If you have allergies or sensitivities, always check the ingredients list carefully.
In terms of active ingredients, I suspect the menthyl lactate is doing a lot of the work in this product. Derived from menthol, this ingredient is commonly used as a cooling agent in cosmetics and provides a tingly sensation when applied to the skin. This effect is particularly strong on sensitive areas much as the genitals, and the clitoris in particular.
All the products in this range are so beautifully packaged, with a black and gold colour scheme and floral motifs. Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer comes in a small tube that resembles a lipgloss or mascara and has a pump top applicator.
Like all of Bijoux’s products, the Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer is vegan.
A Word About Expectations
It’s worth pointing out that an orgasm enhancer is not a magic bullet. The right one can boost sensitivity and responsiveness and can help you to experience more intense sensations. There might even be a little bit of a placebo effect going on: you think the balm is going to help, so it does.
However, an orgasm enhancer (no matter how good) cannot overcome many of the issues that can get in the way of pleasure and orgasm – stress, anxiety, depression, body image struggles, physical pain or discomfort, lack of trust or safety in a relationship, poor communication, or sexual acts that simply don’t work for you.
All this to say, go in with realistic expectations. An orgasm enhancer isn’t going to cure all your sexual woes. What it might be able to do is help you to experience more pleasure, transform a good experience into a great one, or give you that little extra push to get over the edge of climax.
Smell, Taste and Feel
Bijoux Indiscrets’ Aphrodisia range has a distinctive scent that all the products share. I’ll be delving into this in more detail next week when I review the Body Mist from the same range. It’s a pleasant, floral-yet-sexy scent made up primarily of rose, ylang ylang, and jasmine.
I have mixed views about using something perfumed on my genitals. I’m generally averse to doing so because a lot of the ingredients that go into scents aren’t necessarily the healthiest for a vulva. You only need a tiny amount of Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer to get the effects though, and it’s only used externally, so it is probably fine. I have used it several times now and haven’t experienced any irritation or other issues.
The scent lingers long after application, so you might want to have a bath or a wash afterwards (or, honestly, just go around smelling of flowers all day – the scent is lovely enough that you absolutely can, and no-one who caught a whiff of it would know it was a sex product.)
The Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer is white in colour and has a thin texture that reminds me of water-based lube. It’s not oily or sticky, and once it is massaged in it doesn’t leave any unpleasant tacky feeling or residue.
I will say that you probably don’t want to use this stuff for oral sex. You know when you spritz on perfume and then breathe in at the wrong moment or realise your mouth was open a bit and you can sort of taste it? Yeah, it tastes like that.
So… Does It Work?
I tried the Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer at a time when I was kind of desiring pleasure and orgasm, but really struggling to actually access these things (trying to have sex or masturbate while getting through the worst heartbreak of your life is a fucking ride, y’all.)
When I applied Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer to my clit, I started noticing its effects almost immediately. Within 30 seconds there was a noticeable warming, tingling sensation. The sensation was enjoyable and pulled my attention straight to my clit. It’s not exactly a magical “instant horny” contoction, but it took my arousal level from “I feel like an orgasm might be nice in theory but I’m not sure I can be bothered” to “yes I would like to cum now please.”
The effect lasted well, meaning I did not need to reapply it. If you were having a lengthy sex or masturbation session, you might want to top it up occasionally, but you only need a little bit to get the effect.
In terms of the effect it had on my orgasm, the Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer definitely worked! It boosted my sensitivity and made me even more eager to be touched. I also found it helped me to get wet, which has been a challenge recently.
Was it a miracle cure for the intrusive thoughts that keep popping into my head when I’m trying to get off? No, of course not. But did it help me to push through and get out of my head and into my body at least a little bit. It also helped me to reach orgasm more quickly than I’ve been able to recently.
Pro tip: I find that Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer pairs particularly well with clitoral suction toys!
Verdict
If you don’t mind the noticeable floral scent, this stuff is excellent! Clitoral balms have a pretty much permanent place in my easy grab-basket of sex supplies, and this is a worthy addition to the collection.
Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me the Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer to try. All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.
I recently received Lovehoney’s Ultimate Sex Position Enhancer Set, a two-piece set comprising a sex position wedge and ramp. Instead of doing a straightforward review, I thought I’d do something a little different and tell you about a few different ways you can use items like this.
Sex furniture and sex position aids are having a moment in a big way, and I’ve been wanting to try some for ages. Turns out they are both enormous (Mr C&K when this thing arrived in a comically huge box: “Amy, where on EARTH are you going to keep it!?”) and surprisingly versatile.
Lovehoney Ultimate Sex Position Enhancer Set
This set consists of two pieces, a wedge and a ramp, that can be used together or separately. Both are 24″ wide, with the ramp measuring 34″ in length and 12″ in height and the wedge measuring 14″ in length and 7″ in height. Again: I did not fully grasp how huge these things are. Think very carefully before purchasing if you live in a tiny apartment or don’t have anywhere to store them!
The cushions are made of a firm and supportive foam, and covered with a micro-velvet cover that is fluid proof, removeable, and washable. So if you get sex fluids or lube all over it, just whip the cover off and wash it on a normal cycle in the washing machine. The exterior is also soft and non-slippery. I wish they came in a colour other than grey, but at least it’s fairly unobtrusive and will blend in with your decor.
This is perhaps the most obvious use for a piece of sex furniture such as a sex position wedge. It is, presumably, what they were originally designed for. But whether you’re having penis-in-vagina, anal, or strap-on sex, a sex position wedge or ramp can make it easier and more comfortable to get into all kinds of positions.
I hear they can be particularly good for missionary position vaginal sex, raising the receiver’s hips to allow for deeper penetration and more precise G-spot stimulation. They’re also great for legs-up positions and for cushioning the knees during receiver-on-top positions.
Make Oral Sex Easier
Do you love going down on your partner for hours but find that neck strain is an issue for you? Yeah, me too (I often use the edge of the bed for this reason, which can work well.) But a positioning aid can be a game changer in this area.
A sex position wedge under the receiver’s hips can make their genitals more accessible and make it more comfortable for the giver. That way, you can lick or suck for as long as you like in absolute comfort.
Get Comfy During Masturbation
Do you ever find it difficult to get comfortable in one position while you’re masturbating, particularly during a long session or if it takes you a while to get off? If so, try using your sex position wedge or ramp to experiment with different positions.
Personally, I find reclining on the ramp while using the wedge to prop up my upper back and neck supremely comfy. Your mileage may vary, of course.
Have Sex on the Floor… In Style
Sometimes you just want to get all primal and fuck on the floor… but then find the idea is better in theory than in practice. Carpet burn or hard wooden floors against your knees? No thanks. But get the ramp and wedge out, and suddenly you’ve got a ready made sex couch wherever you want to put it!
Use It as a Toy Mount
If you enjoy grinding toys, a sex position wedge can make an ideal toy mount. I find the wedge works particularly well with my Godemiche Grind Pads and Vibe Pads. Just fasten them to the wedge with the straps provided, position it underneath you, and you’re good to go.
Of course, you can also get creative with all kinds of sex toys. If you can find a way to hold it in place (I recommend those same straps or a length of rope,) the wedge also works brilliantly as a wand mount.
Bonus: Use It For Totally Unsexy Things
Mine is currently propping up a wet mattress in my guest room while it dries out. It’s… a long story.
Thanks to Lovehoney for supplying me with the product featured in this post to share with you all. All views, as always, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post. Product images: Lovehoney.
Cannabidiol, or CBD, is all the rage at the moment. This non-psychoactive and now legal (in many places, including the UK) compound found in the cannabis plant is touted as having all kinds of incredible benefits, from reducing anxiety to helping with chronic pain… and, yes, improving your sex life.
I am, it’s fair to say, rather cynical about such things. I don’t tend to believe amazing claims unless there’s amazing evidence to back them up. Maybe CBD really is a magical cure for all kinds of ills, and the science will prove it over the coming years. Or maybe it’s a very expensive and overhyped placebo. The reality, I imagine, in somewhere in the middle – it probably has some genuine benefits, and it’s probably been overhyped.
I wrote a little more here summarising very briefly what some of the available data says about CBD and sex so far. All this to say that I am approaching CBD-infused sex products, such as CBD lubes and oils, with a healthy amount of both curiosity and skepticism.
Bijoux Indiscrets recently offered me two new products to try: their Arousal Oil with CBD and their CBD Oral Sex Oil. But did they live up to their claims?
Bijoux Indiscrets Arousal Oil with CBD
Slow Sex Arousal Oil with CBD from Bijoux Indiscrets is made up of a range of natural oils and extracts including Coco-Caprylate/Caprate (an emollient derived from coconut oil), Olea Europaea Fruit Oil (AKA olive oil), shea butter, soybean oil, castor seed oil, and a number of others. Bijoux is an all-vegan company and uses only plant-derived ingredients.
The idea of the Arousal Oil is simple: apply it to your vulva and clitoris before sex or masturbation. The CBD, so it is claimed, may help to increase natural lubrication as well as stimulating blood flow to the area to increase sensitivity.
I did feel as though I experienced an increase in sensitivity when I applied a few drops of this arousal oil to my clitoris and labia and then waited a few minutes. When I touched myself, I was incredibly wet and sensitive and I reached orgasm very quickly. So from that perspective, yes, it worked!
Some sources I looked at claim that CBD is a vasodilator (something that opens the blood vessels, improving blood flow), which would go some way to explaining this effect. Others, however, claim that CBD without THC – that’s Tetrahydrocannabinol, or the high-inducing compound in cannabis – has few if any vasodilatory effects.
So what happened, then? Maybe the CBD had a direct causal effect on my arousal and sensitivity, and maybe it didn’t. Some of the other ingredients may have had an effect. The simple act of rubbing something on my genitals while in a sexual headspace might even have been the cause. Then, of course, there’s the potential for a placebo effect. At some point,I’d love to set up a blind experiment with this stuff and regular oil-based lube to see if there’s any difference when I don’t know which one I’m using.
Also worth noting that this product is only 1% CBD. That’s the equivalent of 0.3ml of CBD in a standard 30ml tube. That is, by anyone’s definition, a tinyCBD concentration and has left me a little doubtful that the CBD itself was the main cause of the effects I experienced.
The oil has a fairly strong and distinctive scent that I can best describe as “floral.” It’s fine, not really my sort of thing but not unpleasant either. Be careful when using the pump top bottle because it has a tendency to squirt out suddenly and go everywhere! I also found that my fingers felt quite sticky after applying this oil and I wanted to wash it off my hands as quickly as possible (neurodivergent sensory issues!? Me!?)
Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Arousal Oil with CBD retails for £34/€38 for a 30ml bottle.
Bijoux Indiscrets CBD Oral Sex Oil
The Bijoux Indiscrets Oral Sex Oil contains far fewer ingredients than the Arousal Oil. It’s just sweet almond oil, coconut oil, cannabis sativa seed oil, CBD, peppermint oil, limonene and linalool. This product, too, is only 1% CBD.
The instructions say to apply a few drops to your lips and genitals, so that’s what I did. I was hoping I might feel some noticeable effect on my lips, such as tingling or an increase in sensitivity. Sadly, I didn’t feel much of anything even after several minutes and a reapplication.
It was the same when I tried it on my vulva and clit. The oil worked quite nicely as a simple lubricant, making everything pleasantly slippery. However, I did not notice any increase in sensitivity, sensation, or pleasure on any of the occasions that I tried it. This was a surprise, actually, since – whatever I do or don’t believe about CBD – peppermint-based products have worked well for me in the past.
The taste and smell of the Slow Sex Oral Sex Oil oil isn’t at all unpleasant. The overwhelming impression is of it being kind of minty. However, when I’m going down on a lover I want to be able to taste and smell them. (See also: why I don’t like flavoured lubes.)
Unlike the Arousal Oil, the Oral Sex Oil comes with a little eye dropper applicator. This makes it easier to apply to your lips and genitals with precision and without spilling it everywhere. It’s much less sticky than the Arousal Oil and didn’t give me the same sensory “ick.”
BIjoux Indiscrets Oral Sex Oil with CBD retails for £22/€25 for a 15ml bottle.
A Quick Word of Caution
Because they are oil-based, these products are not compatible with latex or polyisoprene. Don’t use them if you’re using safer sex barriers, such as condoms or dams, made from these materials. They’re okay to use with polyurethane, though.
Verdict
I remain intrigued but cynical about CBD in general, and for sex in particular. The available information is interesting, but far from conclusive. I’ve also now had a number of different experiences with different CBD products, and the wildly varying results tell me something in and of themselves.
If there was a simple causal relationship between CBD-containing products and increased arousal, boosted sensitivity, or faster and harder orgasms, surely I would experience that reliably every time in much the same way that I experience a reduction in pain every time I take a paracetamol?
The verdict, then? It’s complex and I wish there was more – and more reliable – data to draw on.
Ultimately though, if something works for you, I think that’s valuable in itself. I can’t explain why the CBD Arousal Oil worked for me (or why the Oral Sex Oil didn’t!) I suspect it has to do with a number of factors: the other ingredients, my headspace at the time, my level of cynicism, and possibly even the CBD itself.
All I can tell you about is my experience. Why not try it for yourself and see how you get on?
Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me these products to review. All views, as always, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.
Once again, my lovely pals at Lovehoney have sent me their advent calendar for couples, this year created in partnership with Womanizer. And once again, I’m going to be opening a door a day and telling you about the products inside.
This kit, as the name implies, is aimed at “couples”, which assumes one penis-owner and one vulva-owner. There are several other adult advent calendars for couples in the range including 12 day toy calendars for different types of bodies and a 7 day lingerie calendar.
I’m going to try a slightly different format this year as I review this kit: giving you some basic product info, some pros and cons, and a quick final verdict on each product.
Day 1: Bullet Vibrator
Product Info
Material: ABS plastic
Colour: Shiny gold with a black Lovehoney heart insignia.
Small enough to slide between bodies during penetrative sex other activities
Versatile and suitable for a wide range of body parts
Cons
A little more buzzy than I would like
Only one button, making it a little annoying to select the pattern you want
Verdict
A decent, basic bullet vibrator. Unlikely to satisfy serious power fans or those who really need rumbles, but otherwise perfectly serviceable and does what it says on the tin.
Day 2: Ribbed Penis Stroker
Product Info
Material: TPE, I think
Colour: Translucent white
Body safe? Kinda. TPE isn’t toxic but it is porous and will harbour bacteria
Waterproof: Yes, submersible
Size: 4″ in length, very stretchy
Lube compatible: Yes, water-based only
Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water. Please note that TPE can be washed but cannot be sterilised
Pros
Small pocket in the side, allowing you to insert yesterday’s bullet vibrator (or any bullet vibe of your choice)
Soft, squishy feeling material
Very stretchy, making it suitable for the vast majority of dick sizes
Nice internal texturing
Cons
Material cannot be fully sterilised due to its porous nature
Material is already starting to tear around the holes
Likely only good for a few uses
Verdict
An okay stroker for a few uses, or for a beginner to find out if this is a sensation they enjoy. It won’t last long, though, so if you enjoy using it I recommend upgrading to a silicone stroker ASAP.
Day 3: Wrist Restraints
Product Info
Material: Polypropylene with plastic hardwear
Colour: Black with gold clips
Body safe? Yes
Waterproof: No
Size: Each cuff is 14″ in total length
Cleaning: Wipe clean if necessary
Pros
Highly adjustable to fit the vast majority of people
Velcro fastenings are quick to undo, making them safe and beginner-friendly
Can be clipped together using the attached gold clips
Cons
Material isn’t particularly soft so not very comfortable for long-term wear
Not very strong so only suitable for light bondage activities
Verdict
These are a very basic set of cuffs. They’re serviceable for complete beginners and very light bondage, and may help you to discover whether being restrained or restraining your partner is something you enjoy. If you do, though, consider upgrading to a set of proper bondage cuffs if you can.
Day 4: Mint Orgasm Balm
This product, very similar to Lovehoney’s Bliss Orgasm Balm (a surprising winner and a fave I return to again and again) is designed to be applied to external erogenous zones such as the clit and nipples. The menthol provides a cooling, tingling sensation that brings additional bloodflow to the area and increases sensitivity.
Product Info
Packaging: A small gold tin with black detailing
Body-safe? Yes, as long as you’re not allergic/sensitive to any of the ingredients
Vegan? Unfortunately not, as it contains beeswax
Safe for use in water: Yes
Clean-up: You’ll need to use plenty of soap and warm water as this is an oil-based product
Pros
Really does enhance pleasure – the extra sensitivity is glorious
Great for an all-day tease or kinky edging/orgasm control games.
A little goes a long way
Cons
Oily consistency makes clean-up a little annoying
Strong minty scent can linger even after washing
Verdict
Having tried variations on this product previously (including in last year’s calendar), I’m not at all surprised to say that today’s item is a hit. I really love this stuff.
Day 5: G-Spot Dildo
Product Info
Material: Silicone
Colour: Purple
Body safe? Yes, silicone is phthalate-free and non-porous
Waterproof: Yes
Size: 5″ insertable length, 1.59″ diameter at widest point
Cleaning: A body-safe sterile wipe, antibacterial soap and water, a 10% bleach solution, boiling, or dishwasher
Pros
Lovely curve, ideal for targeting the G-spot
Soft silicone with a firm head
Has a slot in the base to insert the bullet vibe from day 1 (or any bullet vibrator)
Flared base for anal safety
Cons
Bullet can get kinda stuck if you accidentally wedge it in too far
Base isn’t quite wide enough to use with a harness
Verdict
This is a lovely little dildo. Body-safe, a non-threatening size (suitable for the less experienced toy users this calendar is really aimed at), and suitable for use with or without a vibrator. If I was going to make one change, I’d make the base a little wider to make it harness-compatible for strap-on sex.
Day 6: Thick Cock Ring
Product Info
Material: Silicone
Colour: Black
Body safe? Yes, silicone is phthalate-free and non-porous
Cleaning: A body-safe sterile wipe, antibacterial soap and water, a 10% bleach solution, boiling, or dishwasher
Pros
Soft, body-safe silicone
Thick cock ring design makes it comfortable to wear
Super stretchy to accommodate the vast majority of penis sizes
Comes with a useful (multilingual) safety guide
Cons
None – this is a great basic toy.
Verdict
An excellent basic cock ring. No criticisms here; it’s body-safe, will fit the vast majority of users, and should last for years if you look after it.
Day 7: Blindfold
Product Info
Material: Polyester
Colour: Black with gold detailing
Waterproof: No
Size: 7″ across, 2.5″ top to bottom
Cleaning: Not washable – wipe clean only
Pros
Plushy padding makes it comfortable to wear
Stretchy elastic to fit most users
Super pretty gold-on-black “night sky” design
Doubles nicely as a cute sleep mask
Cons
Cheap fabric that starts to pull at the edges after a couple uses
Not quite big enough to completely block vision
Verdict
This is okay as a very basic blindfold. If you’re brand new to this sort of play or just wanting something you can pop over your/your partner’s eyes for a kinky twist without aiming for complete sensory deprivation, it’s fine. But it could do with being slightly bigger (to better block the light). Though the design is pretty, the cheap fabric and inability to wash it means it’s unlikely to last particularly long.
Day 8: Sandalwood Scented Candle
Product Info
A small (40g) sandalwood-scented candle in a little gold and black tin.
Pros
Lovely, earthy sandalwood scent – ideal for setting the mood for a romantic night in
Cons
Not suitable for wax play
May be unsuitable for those with fragrance sensitivities as the scent is quite strong when lit
Verdict
It’s a nice extra if you’re someone who likes to light candles during sex (or just enjoys using scented candles to make your space smell nice.
Unlike last year’s candle, I don’t feel at all confident suggesting that this one is suitable for wax play. Its melting point is not clear and the addition of scents can sometimes make candles burn much hotter so, since it is not specifically stated as a wax play-safe candle, I wouldn’t take the risk. Choose a wax play candle or massage candle if you want to apply the wax to your skin.
Day 9: Crystal Butt Plug
Product Info
Material: Aluminium and acrylic
Colour: Gold with a purple jewel
Body safe? Yes, aluminium is a body-safe metal for sex toys as long as you are not allergic/sensitive to this metal
Waterproof: Yes
Size: 3″ total length, 2.5″ insertable length, 1.1″ diameter at widest point
Cleaning: A body-safe sterile wipe, antibacterial soap and water, or a 10% bleach solution. Do not boil or put in the dishwasher as this may cause the glue holding the gem in place to melt
Pros
Super pretty and with a purple gem – my favourite colour!
Small, non-threatening size makes it friendly for beginners
Rigid material means you get a lot of sensation from a small toy
Can be warmed up or cooled down for versatile, temperature-based play
Cons
Rigid base can dig in after a while, making it uncomfortable (and unlikely to be suitable for all-day wear)
There was already a little damage on the gem when I unboxed it, cheapening the overall look
Verdict
A cute, beginner-friendly crystal butt plug ideal for anyone curious about using metal toys for the first time. Its body-safe material and flared base mean you can enjoy it with confidence. Pro tip: if anal play feels really intense, coupling it with stimulation of your clitoris or penis can massively enhance the pleasure.
Day 10: Mini Wand Vibrator
Product Info
Material: ABS plastic body, silicone head
Colour: Black with a gold Lovehoney heart insignia
Body safe? Yes, silicone is fully non-porous and non-toxic
Waterproof: It doesn’t specify, so I assume not
Speeds/patterns: 3 speeds, 8 patterns
Size: 5″ total length, head 1.3″ diameter at widest point
Lube-compatible: Yes, any kind of lube
Cleaning: Clean the head using a body-safe sterile wipe or an antibacterial toy cleaning spray – don’t get the whole thing wet
Pros
Very light and highly portable
Flexible neck for easy positioning
Ideal for penises, nipples, and other erogenous zones as well as clits
Cons
Vibrations are only middling strength and quite buzzy
Unlike Day 1’s bullet vibrator, this one does not come pre-charged so you’ll need to charge it up before you play
Only 1 button, making it a little annoying to find the speed/pattern you want if you like to change between them
Verdict
This is a mediocre vibe. The vibration strength isn’t terrible but it’s not great either, and the overall effect is far more “buzz” than “rumble.” As a warmup toy or one for those who prefer weaker vibrations, it’s fine (the body-safe materials and flexible neck give it some points) but as a more experienced toy user I got very little out of it and I’m unlikely to use it again.
Day 11: Nipple Clamps
Product Info
Material: Plastic with silicone tips
Colour: Gold with purple tips
Body safe? Yes
Waterproof: Yes
Size: 3″ in length
Cleaning: Wipe clean if necessary
Pros
Really cute gold-and-purple design with festive star decals
Comfortable to wear and not too pinchy
Adjustable via a simple slider mechanism
Cons
Not likely to fit anyone with large nipples
Adjustment slider scratches the gold plating off the clamps
They don’t stay on very well and pop off at the slightest tug
Verdict
These nipple clamps are really pretty and cute, but I don’t think they’re very high quality. The slider scratching off the plating means they won’t retain their appearance for very long and they don’t stay on for very long. They’ll be fine for a few wears if you just want them to look pretty, but don’t expect much more than that from them.
Nice sensory properties – glides on smoothly and doesn’t leave skin feeling greasy
Cons
Dries out quickly so needs reapplying often
May be unsuitable for those with fragrance allergies/sensitivities
Verdict
This is a perfectly nice massage oil with a distinctive (but not overpowering) scent. It’s pleasant to use and left my skin feeling soft and healthy. Massage can be a fun precursor to sex or a lovely activity in its own right. If you enjoy using it, you can grab a bottle of Lovehoney’s Oh! Vanilla Massage Oil for £5.99 when this one runs out.
Day 13: Tickler
Product Info
A purple feathery tickler (made from polyester and nylon) on a black velcro ring, designed for running over your or your partner’s body.
Pros
Feels nice and soft
Works well with other items from the kit, such as the blindfold and cuffs, to create a fun sensation play scene
Adjustable loop means you can wear it on your fingers like a ring or just hold it in your hand
Cons
No easy way to get it clean – if you get bodily fluids on it, consider it bonded to that person
Verdict
A nice little addition to the kit. Sensation play can be a great way into exploring BDSM and kink, or enjoying intense sensation if pain isn’t your thing. Remember that it can still be intense, and tickling in particular can be edge play or even a hard limit for some people. As with anything else, ALWAYS check in with your partner and get consent.
Day 14: Textured Stroker
Product Info
Material: TPE
Colour: Translucent white
Body safe? Sort of. TPE isn’t toxic, but it is porous and will harbour bacteria.
Waterproof: Yes, submersible
Size: 6″ long and 4″ wide when flat
Lube compatible: Yes, water-based is recommended
Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water. Please note that TPE can be washed but cannot be sterilised.
Pros
Nice ribbed and dotted texturing
Flat wrap-around design makes it suitable for all penis sizes
Cons
Weird powdery texture that makes my sensory issues unhappy
Material cannot be properly sterilised due to its porous nature
May only last a few uses
Verdict
This is an interesting design; I like that it’s flat and wrap-around rather than the usual tube shape, and the texturing is excellent. Due to it being made of porous TPE, which will start to break down after a while, it’s probably only going to last a short time. Grab a silicone stroker if you enjoy this sensation and want a longer-lasting toy!
Day 15: Ankle Cuffs
Product Info
Material: Polypropylene with plastic hardwear
Colour: Black with gold clips
Body safe? Yes
Waterproof: No
Size: Each cuff is 14″ in total length
Cleaning: Wipe clean if necessary
Pros
Go with the wrist restraints from Day 3 to make a full 4-way restraint set
Highly adjustable to fit the vast majority of people
Velcro fastenings are quick to undo, making them safe and beginner-friendly
Can be clipped together using the attached gold clips
Cons
The wrist and ankle restraints should really have been ONE day in the calendar, not 2 separate ones
Material isn’t particularly soft so not very comfortable for long-term wear
Not very strong so only suitable for light bondage activities
Verdict
Like the matching wrist restraints, these are a very basic set of ankle cuffs. They’re a fine introduction to bondage for complete beginners and will work fine if light restraint is all you want to do. If you’re interested in exploring restraint in a more intense way, though, consider upgrading to a set of proper bondage cuffs if you can.
Day 16: Body Massager
Product Info
A purple (with gold glitter) plastic body massager shaped like a five-pointed star. It measures 6″ in total length and each point is approximately 2″ in length.
Pros
Very light
Ergonomic design makes it comfortable to hold
A great way to give massages without tiring your hands or wrists (particularly good for those who experience pain in those areas)
Versatile: use all five points at once, or one at a time for a more focused sensation
Feels AMAZING. I keep reaching for mine to get the knots out of my back after spending too long working on my computer
Sparkles!
Cons
None – I actually really love this one.
Verdict
If you like the kind of deep tissue massage that sort of hurts a little bit but also feels really good, you’re going to love this one. Massage can be a great way in to sex, or a wonderful and sensual activity by itself. Combine this with the massage oil from day 12 if you like!
Day 17: Anal Beads
Product Info
Material: Silicone
Colour: Black
Body safe? Yes, silicone is non-porous and non-toxic, making it fully body-safe
Waterproof: Yes
Size: 6″ total length, insertable length 5″, widest bead 1.2″ in diameter
Lube-compatible: Yes, water-based only
Cleaning: A body-safe sterile wipe, antibacterial soap and water, a 10% bleach solution, boiling, or dishwasher
Pros
Can be used with the bullet vibe from day 1
Super soft silicone
Flexible for comfortable insertion and wear
Cons
Quite long – may feel intimidating to beginners
Verdict
A lovely set of anal beads. They score top marks for body-safe materials, flexible shaft with firm beads, and the ability to turn them into a vibrating toy by adding the bullet vibe from this kit (or any other bullet in your collection.)
Day 18: Finger Vibe Sleeve
Product Info
Material: Silicone
Colour: Purple
Body safe? Yes, silicone is both non-porous and non-toxic, making it an ideal safe sex toy material
Waterproof: Yes
Size: Just over 2″ total length
Lube-compatible: Yes, water-based only
Cleaning: A body-safe sterile wipe, antibacterial soap and water, a 10% bleach solution, boiling, or dishwasher
Pros
Pairs with the bullet vibe from day 1
Super soft silicone
Fun way to bring something new to hand sex (either solo or partnered)
Cons
Silicone dampens the vibrations somewhat
Smallish finger loop may mean it won’t fit those with larger hands/fingers
Couldn’t feel the texturing in use
Verdict
Finger vibes can be a fun add-on to hand sex, particularly clitoral play. I like the basic design of this finger vibe, but it’s let down by the lacklustre texturing. It needs to be much more pronounced to have any effect for any but the most sensitive of clits. But if you find the bullet vibe too intense by itself or prefer the softer feeling of silicone over hard plastic, this is a nice addition to the kit.
Day 19: Sex Dice
Product Info
A pair of dice, one listing acts (such as “kiss”, “nibble”, etc.) and one listing body parts. The idea is that you roll them together and then do the act stipulated.
Pros
Can be a fun way to explore different sensations
Sex is best when there’s laughter, and this guarantees plenty of that
Not gendered
Cons
Occasionally baffling combinations (no, I do not want you to suck my back, thanks!)
Verdict
I don’t have anything against the concept of sex dice, but I think they’re just not really for me. I prefer sex to be fluid rather than gamified and I’d rather just communicate and do what feels good in the moment. So while I think these would probably be great for some people (I’ve particularly found that sex games like this can be a fun icebreaker in group sex scenarios), I don’t think I’m one of those people.
Day 20: Spanking Paddle
Product Info
A mini spanking paddle decorated with a pretty black and gold design in silky fabric on one side, and plain black faux leather on the other side. The paddle measures 9″ in total length.
Pros
A fairly non-scary beginner paddle that delivers a gentle sting rather than anything more painful
Pretty aesthetic
Slightly different sensations from each side
Loop handle makes it easy to hold and store
Cons
Loud noise can be problematic if you have family or roommates at home
Not particlarly robust
Verdict
This is a nice enough beginner spanking paddle. It’s gentle enough to be suitable for complete BDSM novices, though unlikely to do much for fans of more intense pain play. It might not last very long if you’re doing anything more than very gentle play with it, but it’s fine for figuring out if spanking and impact play are things you enjoy.
Day 21: Sexy Snap Position Cards
Product Info
A set of cards featuring various sex positions, plus instructions for two different games to play with them.
Pros
Quite inclusive; many of the positions will work for either vaginal or anal sex with their a bio cock or a strap-on.
Fun, playful and non-threatening way to try out new positions.
Reminds me of this scene from The Bold Type where Jane, Kat and Sutton test out one of Sage’s sex positions to “verify it’s physically possible.” I’m always happy to be reminded of my favourite show
Cons
Some of them require ridiculous core strength, upper body strength, or just indestructible furniture to pull off
Verdict
To be honest, my approach to penetrative sex has typically been “find two or three positions that work and just rotate them depending on mood and energy levels.” I imagine this is fairly normal, especially in long-term sexual relationships. If you’d like to try something new, this game will give you some inspiration. Just don’t be put off by the fact that some of these positions are not going to be physically possible for everyone.
Day 22: Under-Mattress Restraints
Product Info
A set of 4-way restraint straps which fit under your mattress and feature loops at each corner to attach cuffs and restrain your partner by all 4 limbs.
Pros
Suitable for almost all bed sizes as they are highly adjustable
Easy to tuck out of sight if necessary
Pair them with the cuffs from Day 3 and Day 15 or with any other set of cuffs you own.
Quick, safe, and non-threatening introduction to bondage
Cons
None – this is a really nice inclusion.
Verdict
I’ve been after a set of these for ages but always assumed they wouldn’t fit my giant bed. Happily, I was wrong! These are strong, easy to set up, and safe to use as long as you observe some basic safety protocol (e.g. never leaving a bound person alone and always playing with a safeword.) These might be among my favourite items in the whole kit!
Day 23: Couple’s Cock Ring
Product Info
Material: Silicone
Colour: Purple
Body safe? Yes, silicone is both non-porous and non-toxic, making it a completely body-safe sex toy material
Waterproof: Yes
Size: 3″ total length, with a 1″ “tongue” for clitoral stimulation
Lube-compatible: Yes, water-based only
Cleaning: A body-safe sterile wipe, antibacterial soap and water, a 10% bleach solution, boiling, or dishwasher
Pros
Pairs with the bullet vibe from day 1 (or any other bullet in your collection)
Soft silicone
Stretchy to fit most penis sizes
Nice texturing on the clitoral stimulator
Cons
Vibrations feel very weak once transmitted through the silicone
Clitoral stimulator is too flimsy to really be satisfying
Verdict
I have long come to the conclusion that vibrating cock rings are better in theory than in practice, at least for me. This one seems well designed on the surface, and I do like that it’s designed to fit a wide range of bodies and that the clitoral stimulator portion is textured. Unfortunately, in practice, it’s too flimsy and flexible to provide any kind of pressure or sustained stimulation.
Day 24: Womanizer Liberty
Product Info
Material: ABS plastic body with silicone nozzle
Colour: Purple with white nozzle and buttons
Body safe? Yes, ABS plastic and silicone are both body-safe and non-porous
Waterproof: Yes., submersible
Size: 4″ total length
Speeds/patterns: 6 speeds
Lube-compatible: Yes, water-based lube is best with silicone toys
Cleaning: Remove the nozzle and clean with a body-safe sterile wipe, antibacterial soap and water, a 10% bleach solution, by boiling, or in the dishwasher. Wipe the body clean if necessary.
Pros
Comes with a little case, making it discreet and travel-friendly
Suitable for use in the bath or shower
Light and comfortable to hold
Easy to clean due to the removable nozzle
Feels AMAZING
Cons
A little loud at the top speeds
Verdict
I had a feeling the Womanizer Liberty might turn out to be the crowning glory of the set and I was right. Once again, Womanizer – the original purveyors of suction-based clitoral stimulators – have knocked it out of the park. This amazing little stimulator is easy to hold and use, powerful, and feels incredible. On top of all that, it’s travel-friendly and waterproof. Top marks.
See you next year!
Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 2022 Advent Calendar for Couples, which retails for £130 and contains £374.99 worth of products, to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!
As a quick reminder, Slow Sex is a range of lubes, gels, and other “better sex” products by Bijoux Indiscrets. They are beautifully packaged in stylish boxes and include zero gendered terminology on either the packaging or the website. With the exception of the oral sex strips, they’re all scented with coconut.
If you missed part 1 of my review of several items from the Slow Sex range, check it out! Otherwise, I’m so glad you’re back for part 2! Let’s go.
Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm
I was highly sceptical about the Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm, as was Mr CK. But we kept an open mind and decided to give it a fair chance. It comes in a 10ml tube and I was expecting a liquid or thin gel, but it’s really more of a thick paste. I had to massage it between my fingers to get it to melt enough to use.
The packaging suggests applying Oral Sex Balm to your lips right before giving a blow job, or applying it directly to the penis. To get the full effect, we did both. I’m not sure most people would feel much if you only did the former.
First, the good: it definitely had an effect! My partner described it as a cooling sensation, which is likely caused by the menthol it contains. When you’re doing oral sex, the contrast between this cooling and the warmth of a mouth can be very interesting. He also reported that it did increase sensitivity slightly, and that it felt like sensation continued after the point of orgasm. So that was cool! It’s reasonably easy to wash off with warm water and soap.
Then the less-good: Since this is an oil-based product, it’s not suitable for use with any latex barriers. And given that I wouldn’t want several of the ingredients in my vagina, it also means it’s not really possible to go from oral to vaginal sex without cleaning up in between. I really dislike the sensation of anything oily or sticky on my hands, so I had to wipe this off with a tissue immediately after applying it.
Also worth noting: the coconutty/minty smell and taste is VERY potent. It’s certainly not unpleasant but if, like me, you like to experience the scent and taste of your partner’s body, this is definitely going to mask that.
Overall, a mixed experience but definitely more positive than we were expecting.
The Slow Sex Full Body Massage Gel comes in an attractive glass bottle. With 50ml in the bottle, it definitely feels like one of the more substantial Slow Sex products. This oil-based gel is designed for all-over massage.
The packaging says you can use it “anywhere and everywhere” and the website describes it as genital-compatible, so if your massage turns erotic you’re good to go. Again, I’d recommend that you keep it external only. This massage gel is also suitable for use in water and is compatible with silicone sex toys and latex barriers.
This is probably my favourite product in the entire Slow Sex range. It is slick without being sticky, and does not leave any nasty residue behind. As a bonus, it leaves my skin feeling lovely and moisturised (and coconut scented!) It also lasts ages, as a little bit goes a long way once it’s on the skin.
I also love that it comes in a pump bottle, which is much more user-friendly and less spillage-prone than the bottles massage oils usually come in.
If you’re asking “what on earth is an oral sex strip?”, well so was I! Turns out they’re little paper-thin minty strips that are designed to go on your tongue and then melt while you’re performing oral sex. Like the Oral Sex Balm, they have a strong minty flavour (spearmint oil is one of the main ingredients.) They taste like something you’d use to brush your teeth or freshen your breath.
The sensation is… interesting. Much like the Oral Sex Balm, the main appeal is that they provide a contrast between the cooling sensation and the warmth of a mouth. However, they melt very quickly so the intense effect only lasts for maybe a minute or so. You do get some of the effect for a while afterwards as the mint lingers on your body, but you only get maybe a maximum of 5 minutes out of each strip.
They were fine, but I wasn’t blown away. I did find that they heightened sensitivity somewhat, but not to such an extent that they can make or break the experience. And to be honest, I’m going to repeat something I said above – if I’m going down on a lover, I want to taste them, not a mouthful of mint.
“No fiction, no acting, no judgements, no comparisons, no fear, no guilt nor shame” – so begins the Bijoux Indiscrets “Slow Sex” manifesto, which adorns the packaging of each product in the Slow Sex range of better sex products. And it’s a message I can get behind.
Of course, sex is complicated. Fear, judgement and shame are very real for too many of us. I experience them all the time, even (especially?) as someone who makes a living talking openly about sex on the internet. And it’s going to take far more than a fun hashtag or a range of products to fully tackle the deep, systemic issues that allow sexual shame to run rampant.
Even so, in a world where so many companies (even purportedly sex-positive companies) profit from shame and stigma, I’m glad to see an adult retailer encouraging people to move away from these destructive ideas and towards more authentic pleasure.
I received a selection of items from the Slow Sex range to try out. So I can give each product the focus it deserves, I’m going to tackle these mini reviews in two posts.
Slow Sex Range: General Impressions
I received 5 full-size Slow Sex products, plus a couple of sample sizes. Each full-size item comes nicely presented in cardboard packaging (points for minimising single-use plastic!) The packaging is beautifully designed, featuring artistic close-ups of body parts (mouths, fingers, nipples) and sometimes floral motifs.
The Slow Sex range also doesn’t use any gendered marketing! Each product is described by referencing body parts and sex acts, without ascribing gender to them. It sounds like a small thing, but simply writing “the clitoris” instead of “her clitoris”, or “use it on your partner” rather than “use it on your man”, makes sexuality product marketing so much more inclusive. Other retailers, take note!
With the exception of the oral sex strips, all the Slow Sex products I tried have a strong and distinctive coconut aroma. I enjoy the smell and taste of coconut, so this was fine. But if you don’t, it’s something to be aware of as the scent is pretty noticeable and does tend to hang around after you’ve finished playing!
Slow Sex Clitoral Balm
The Slow Sex product I was most excited to try was the clitoral balm, so naturally that’s where I went first.
The Slow Sex Clitoral Balm comes in a little 10ml tube. Since you really only need a little bit to get the effect, a small tube will last you a while.
Slow Sex Clitoral Balm contains a pretty long list of ingredients, so check it carefully if you’re allergic or sensitive to anything. There’s nothing in the ingredients that immediately strikes me as problematic (e.g. parabens). I did some Googling of the ingredients I wasn’t familiar with, and found nothing concerning. It does contain glycerin, but for an external-only product that you use in tiny amounts, that won’t be a problem for most people.
Honestly, I was underwhelmed by the clitoral balm. I really wanted to love it, especially as I’ve tried and loved various similar products in the past, but it just didn’t do much for me. I got a slight warming sensation, which was pleasant enough, but it didn’t really enhance sensitivity or give me any noticeable increase in pleasure. If you enjoy warming lubes, this is a slight step up from that, and you might enjoy it.
I’ll probably finish this tube, but I’m unlikely to buy it again.
Slow Sex Clitoral Balm retails for €16.95. According to Bijoux, it’s compatible with all toy types and with latex barriers.
Slow Sex Finger Play Gel
The Slow Sex Finger Play Gel is basically a water-based lube designed for external use, particularly for fingering or hand-jobs. It contains just a few ingredients, of which the main ones are glycerin, water, and aloe vera leaf juice. Given the high glycerin concentration, don’t use this one inside your vagina, as this can cause yeast infections.
The Finger Play Gel is a lovely, thick lubricant. It lasts well, and a little goes a long way. Its thick texture and slipperiness make it perfect for hand sex. Due to the glycerin, it does feel a bit sticky after a while, but it’s easy to clean up with warm water and soap. After use, my skin felt soft and moisturised, probably thanks to the aloe. It has a pleasant, subtly sweet taste.
Slow Sex Finger Play Gel retails for €16.95. With just 30ml in a tube, it’s pretty pricey, but it should last you a while. Slow Sex Finger Play Gel is condom-compatible and suitable to use with all toy materials.
Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel
The Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel comes in a little 10ml glass tube with a roller ball applicator. Simply apply a little to your nipples, and then play as you normally would. The gel gives a subtle cooling, tingling sensation.
I found that the Nipple Play Gel slightly heightened sensitivity. When I applied it then went about my day, it made me more aware of my nipples – and particularly the feel of them against my clothing – than I’d normally be. Potentially fun if you want to heighten your arousal throughout the day. I found that one application lasted about an hour.
It also increases sensitivity if you’re doing nipple play with hands, toys, or clamps. But this stuff really comes into its own when combined with oral nipple stimulation. The cool gel combined with a warm mouth makes everything feel much more intense. And since the gel has a sweet taste, it’s not unpleasant for the giver, either! (Assuming they like coconut.)
The Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel is water-based and does not contain any ingredients that are toxic or problematic for topical use. It’s easy to wash off when you’re done and leaves a gentle coconutty smell on the skin.
I originally wrote this review of the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar for couples as 24 separate posts. However, I’ve now combined them all into one as they were becoming unweildy and clogging up my blog archives.
I’m so excited to have received the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar for couples! This treasure trove of sexy goodies comes with 24 numbered windows, each containing a sex toy, kink product, or other sexy item.
This kit is geared towards couples where one person has a penis and the other has a vulva, but many of the items are flexible and unisex. Mr C&K and I are going to be opening one door at a time for the next 24 days and sharing a mini review each day, then I’ll publish an overall review of the whole set at the end.
Day 1: Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator
Let’s dive in and see what’s behind the first door of Lovehoney’s 2021 sex toy advent calendar…
Today we’re looking at Door #1, which contained a small bullet vibrator. Here’s a quick rundown of the details:
Material: ABS plastic
Colour: Shiny red with a gold Lovehoney heart insignia.
The vibe comes with a USB charging cable and you get around 60 minutes use on a full charge. It operates on a one-button interface located in the base, and offers three constant speeds and seven patterns. To switch it on, you have to hold down the button until the light flashes, then give it another quick press. Press to cycle through settings, then press and hold to turn the toy off.
Power-wise, I’m significantly more impressed than I expected to be! This toy packs a decent punch, given its small size and low price point. It sits midway along the buzz-to-rumble scale, offering strong and non-numbing vibrations though not quite hitting that deep, penetrating rumble that so many people love. It’s a little loud, so bear that in mind if you live in a shared space or need to keep the noise down.
The target market for this set is primarily people and couples without much experience of sex toys, perhaps just exploring or looking to start their collection, so I’m approaching this review series through that lens. This is a great bullet vibrator for beginners, powerful enough to hit the spot but compact, non-threatening, and easy to use.
If you enjoy penetrative sex, this bullet is small enough to slide between bodies for extra clitoral stimulation. And remember that vibes aren’t just for clits! You can also use your bullet vibrator on the labia, nipples, penis, balls, perineum, or literally any other body part that feels good. (Don’t insert it anally, though – it’s not safe for that as it doesn’t have a flared base).
Bottom line: it’s body-safe. It can get me off reliably. And it’s small and light enough to throw in my bag for a playdate or weekend away.
Day 2: Adjustable Cock Ring
Today’s sex toy advent calendar surprise is an adjustable silicone cock ring. Let’s start with some basic details.
Material: Silicone with an ABS plastic slider
Colour: Red
Body safe? Yes – silicone is body-safe and non-porous.
A quick primer for beginners: the purpose of a cock ring is to restrict blood flow out of an erect penis. Some people report that cock rings help them to keep an erection for longer, make their penis feel harder, and provide extra pleasure for the wearer by increasing sensitivity. Some people believe they also help with erectile dysfunction, though research on this is spotty.
Cock rings sometimes come with vibrations and all kinds of fun additional features, but this one is as straightforward as it gets. Just slide it on and you’re good to go.
The beauty of this simple cock ring is that it’s completely adjustable and will fit all penis sizes. Simply press the easy-to-use button on the slider, and tug on the loop end to loosen or the tail ends to tighten. It’s also stretchy, so you can put it on before you’re fully hard and it will stretch to comfortably accommodate your erection.
The silicone is comfortable enough to wear once it’s in place, but is quite “grabby” on the skin as you slide it on. Apply water-based lube to the ring and/or to your penis before you put it on.
If you’ve never worn a cock ring before, experiment with different placements. Try it around the base of your penis in front of the balls, or behind the balls for an extra squeeze. Different people have different preferences, so see what feels best for you. Using this adjustable cock ring should not hurt. If you feel pain, readjust or stop.
If you’ve never used a cock ring before, then this one is a great place to start. You can start off with a looser fit and experiment to see which placing and what level of tightness feels best. Simple but effective, plus durable and long-lasting. Similar rings retail on Lovehoney for around £9.99.
Day 3: Starry Eyed Blindfold
This sex toy advent calendar set is aimed at a pairing of one penis owner and one vulva owner (sort out the gendered language, Lovehoney, please!) But many of the items are unisex and can be enjoyed by people with all sorts of bodies.
Let’s sneak a peek behind Door #3…
Behind Door #3 is a red blindfold with little star and Lovehoney heart insignia embellishments. It’s a limited edition variation on the Lovehoney Oh! Blindfold, which has an RRP of £5.99. The aesthetic is cute and a little festive (which makes sense, given this set is a Christmas release).
The Starry Eyed Blindfold is satin on the outside and some sort of soft, fuzzy material on the inside, and has black elastic straps to hold it in place. It feels soft, plushy, and comfortable to wear. The fabric is pretty cheap and already starting to pull at the edges and some of the stitching is coming loose after a trial run, though, so I don’t expect it to last all that long.
Blindfolds are a staple of kinky play for many people. This is for a couple of reasons. First, some believe that blocking out one sense heightens the others. Second, not knowing what your partner is going to do next adds an extra layer of excitement and anticipation if you’re playing with power in some way.
This blindfold isn’t really quite big enough to block vision completely. However I position it, I can see out of the top or bottom at least a little bit. It also lets quite a lot of light in. If you want complete sensory deprivation, you’ll be disappointed (try a Mindfold or similar for that!)
But this whole set is really for beginners, so I’m trying to approach it through that lens. If you’re brand new to playing with any kind of BDSM, this blindfold is a fine low-intensity starting point to see if you enjoy sensory deprivation and want to explore it further. Want to kick things up a notch? Try adding earplugs or combining your blindfold with light bondage.
I don’t think this blindfold is going to be a bedroom staple for me. However, it does double nicely as a sleep mask, so that’s something.
Day 4: Sex Dice
Though this sex toy advent calendar set is gendered (I really wish they’d stop doing that!) and assumes a cisgender, heterosexual couple, many of the items can be used by people of all genders and body types.
So what’s behind Door #4?
Door #4 contains a pair of sex dice. The first die names a different body part on each side, and the second names various actions to do to those body parts. The idea is that you take turns to roll, then do the actions you land on.
I’ve never really got the point of the whole “sex dice” thing, personally. I can see that they maybe make sense, in a certain light, if you’re brand new to exploring each others’ bodies. I can also see these being a useful starting point for a couple who are struggling to communicate about their likes and desires, or for those who like plenty of laughs alongside their moans. But the whole system just feels too contrived and gamified to be sexy to me. I’d rather just communicate and do what feels good, personally.
But your mileage may vary! And if this seems like a useful way in (or the idea of being dommed by a pair of dice feels hot to you), then have at it.
The actual acts on these dice are fine, if a little unimaginative. They mostly involve doing different things with your mouth (lick, blow, nibble, kiss) or occasionally hands (massage) to the most common erogenous zones (penis/clitoris, nipples, inner thigh, butt, neck).
The nature of this sort of game means you do occasionally get baffling combinations or those that wouldn’t work for a lot of people. I do NOT want anyone nibbling my clitoris, thank you. Ouch! But if you get a combo that doesn’t work for you, you can always just reroll.
Perfectly fine, but not really my thing.
Door 5: Slimline Silicone Butt Plug
Despite the annoyingly gendered marketing, many of the items in this sex toy advent calendar set are suitable for folks of any gender and with any body parts. Let’s open up Door #5, shall we?
Today’s surprise is a slimline silicone butt plug. Let’s start with some quick basic details:
Material: Silicone.
Colour: Black.
Body safe? Yes – silicone is body-safe and non-porous. This also means it’s safe to share this plug with a partner as long as you sterilise it properly between uses.
Power: N/A
Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
Size: 4.5″ in total length, 1.3″ in diameter at widest point.
The gently tapered design and slim neck make this plug easy to insert and comfortable to wear, and the silicone is soft and high quality. It is middling-firm to the touch, with some flex towards the tip and plenty of flex in the neck.
The cool thing about this butt plug is that it features a sling style base, allowing you to use it in conjuction with the bullet vibrator from day 1. You’ll need to push quite firmly to get the vibe into the sleeve, but once it’s in it stays put securely. It will also pair with any slim bullet vibe you have in your collection.
The silicone transmits vibrations very effectively on all settings, allowing you to experiment with a range of anal play sensations. Whether you use the plug on its own or with the vibe, don’t forget to use tonnes of lube. I recommend a thick water-based lube designed for anal play, such as Sliquid Sassy.
This is a great butt plug for beginners or toybag staple for more experienced folks. Use it by itself for anal exploration, or leave it in while you do other things such as hand sex, oral sex, or penetrative play.
Yes, Door #5 is a winner!
Day 6: Kegel Balls
Kegel balls, also known as Ben-wa balls, are fascinating. These small balls, designed to sit inside the vagina, come with a tonne of intense claims as to their benefits, but very little robust science to back those claims up. I dived into the available literature (there isn’t much) a while back, but here’s the short version:
The claims: Kegel balls strengthen the pelvic floor, help prevent or fix urinary incontinence, improve sexual satisfaction, and make it easier to orgasm.
The reality: Eh…. maybe? Research on the incontinence thing is limited and contradictory in its findings, and there’s virtually no evidence one way or the other (beyond anecdotal) for the “improved sexual pleasure” thing.
So what’s the point of kegel balls, then? As a sexuality writer without any background in medicine or gynecology, I approach kegel balls as a sex toy rather than a health and wellness product. And from that perspective, there’s a great reason to use them: they can feel good!
With that out of the way, let’s dive into the review, shall we?
Material: Both the balls and their sling are silicone.
Colour: Red balls, black sling.
Body safe? Yes. Silicone is body-safe, hygienic, and non-porous.
Power: N/A
Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
Size: 3″ insertable with a 4″ tail. Each ball is 1.2″ in diameter.
This set consists of two kegel balls fitted into a silicone sling. The nice thing about this design is that you can use the balls on their own (together or one at a time) or with the sling. The sling features a long tail for easy retrieval.
Some people use kegel balls anally, but I really, really don’t recommend it. One of the balls could easily come loose from the sling and get stuck. These are for vaginal use only.
You can use kegel balls in a few different ways. Here are some I suggest you might want to try:
Wear them for an hour or so before you have sex to heighten arousal and get yourself in the mood.
Wear them as you go about your day for a little thrill of sexual excitement each time you move. Start with a short amount of time and build up to longer wear if you want to, and stop immediately if you feel pain or discomfort.
If you’re into anal play, wear kegel balls in your vagina while you do butt stuff for additional pleasure.
However you explore with them, use plenty of lube and always clean them thoroughly between uses. Not keeping them clean (or inserting them with dirty hands) could lead to an infection.
This is a nice enough set of beginner-friendly kegel balls. Unlike some I’ve tried, they’re not weighted and don’t have any moving parts inside, so the stimulation they provide is very gentle. This isn’t a criticism, it’s just… a thing worth bearing in mind. They’re small enough to be non-intimidating, made of a body-safe and easy-clean material, and are comfortable to insert and easy to retrieve. A worthy addition to the calendar!
Day 7: Beaded Stroker
This sex toy advent calendar set of 24 sex toys and sex-related surprises is aimed primarily at couples who are newer to sex toys, and assumes one penis owner and one vulva owner, though many of the items are usable by anyone.
So what do we have closing out week 1?
Today’s product is a beaded stroker for people with penises. Here’s a quick rundown of the details:
Material: “Soft plastic”, which I think means some kind of TPE or TPR.
Colour: Semi-translucent black.
Body safe? Dubious. Lovehoney claims this material does not contain phthalates, but it is definitely porous. I’m less leery about porous materials for external-only toys such as strokers, but it’s less than ideal. It probably won’t hurt you but it won’t stay hygienic for very long so don’t expect it to last forever.
Power: N/A
Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
Size: 5″ in total length, very stretchy.
Lube compatible: I suggest you only use water-based lube with this one.
Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water. The porous material means this one will never get 100% clean, so don’t sterilise it and expect to replace it after a few uses.
This stroker contains two rows of small metal beads designed to stimulate the shaft of the penis as you masturbate (or give your partner a hand job). These offer a different and interesting sensation from a regular stroker or using your hand.
Don’t be fooled by the Beaded Stroker’s small opening – it’s very stretchy and flexible and will accommodate dicks of most sizes. Here it is around the large and girthy Godemiche Adam to illustrate my point:
You’ll definitely need to use plenty of lube regardless of your size. This material is quite grabby when it’s not properly lubricated, and that can cause the wrong kind of friction. If you’ve got a foreskin, be especially careful, as using a stroker without sufficient lube can cause it to pull back too far (ouch).
Speaking from the giver’s perspective, using a stroker can ease pressure on your wrist and make it easier to jerk your partner off for longer without discomfort. Win-win!
This toy seems to be a variation on Lovehoney’s BASICS Beaded Stroker, which retails for £12.99. It’s perfectly fine as an introduction to masturbators for individuals and couples who are newer to sex toys. If you enjoy using it, though, I really suggest that you invest in a silicone stroker. This will last far longer as well as being safer and more hygienic.
Day 8: Spanking Paddle
It’s the start of the second week of this sex toy advent calendar unboxing, and we’re about to open Door #8…
We’re getting a little kinky today, with Door 8 revealing a mini spanking paddle. The paddle is red and made of a satiny material on one side, adorned with starts and Lovehoney hearts to match last week’s blindfold. The other side is a leather-like material. I think this is faux rather than of animal origin, but I wouldn’t swear to that. It measures 9″ in total length, not including the black ribbon loop, and 2″ across at the widest point. Its main body is firm with a very small amount of flex.
This paddle’s bark is worse than its bite, so to speak. It makes an impressively loud slapping noise (something to be aware of if you have family or roommates at home!) but the sensation it delivers is pretty gentle. The satin side offers a gentler sensation (great for sensation play, if pain isn’t your thing) and the leather side is slightly more bitey.
I say the above with the awareness that pain is entirely subjective and everyone’s experience is different. I enjoy pain sometimes, but I’m not a hardcore masochist by any stretch. The best way to figure out how painful something is for you or your partner is to start out with a few light swats and then build up to your desired level from there. If you want a gentle tickle without any real “ouch” behind it, this paddle can offer that. If you want a more intense sting, you’ll have to put some power behind it or switch to a harder paddle.
As a spanking paddle for complete BDSM beginners and people who prefer the less ouchy kind of kink, it’s fine. I’m not convinced it will last very long in good condition or stand up to any kind of hard play, but it’s also cute, non-threatening, and safe to use as long as you communicate and exercise a little common sense.
Day 9: Vanilla Scented Candle
Behind Door #9 of Lovehoney’s 2021 sex toy advent calendar is a vanilla scented candle designed to set the mood for a romantic evening and fill your room with a lovely vanilla fragrance. The scent is pretty strong, so you might want to skip this one if you have any kind of fragrance sensitivity. Assuming you like the smell of vanilla, it’s pleasant enough and not too “artificial” smelling.
Is this candle safe for wax play?
Being the kinky fucker that I am, my thought when I see a candle in a sex-related context is less “romantic mood lighting” and more “drip it on my skin!” So is this candle suitable for wax play (a BDSM activity involving dripping melted candle wax on your partner or yourself)?
Short answer: I can’t see any reason why not.
This candle contains just two ingredients: soy wax and vanilla bean fragrance. Soy wax is very popular for wax play because it has a fairly low melting point – typically 120-160°F (49-71°C) – and cools quickly on contact with the skin. Additives such as fragrances and colourants can impact the melting point significantly so if you want to experiment with wax play, it’s safest to buy bondage candles rather than just using anything you have lying around at home.
I tried out this candle on my arm to assess its wax play potential. Dropped from a height of about 8 inches, the wax was just slightly warm when it hit my skin and cooled in a flash. Obviously, the lower the height, the warmer the wax will be. But from a temperature perspective, this candle seems pretty safe. Assuming you’re not allergic or sensitive to soy and fragrances, you should be fine.
Actually, the biggest issue with this candle from a wax play perspective is that the tin gets warm when it’s been lit for a while. So if you want to use it for that, I suggest you do so as quickly after lighting it as possible.
Be aware that soy wax can be a little sticky, so leave time for clean up. Also, the scent clings to skin quite strongly! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go and sniff my currently vanilla-scented arm some more…
Day 10: Jewelled Butt Plug
Today’s sex toy advent calendar door contains the second anal toy in this collection so far: a metal jewelled butt plug.
Material: “Metal” (unspecified, likely an alloy of some description.)
Colour: Gold body with a red gem base.
Body safe? Likely yes. Metal toys are non-porous and broadly non-toxic. Many metal alloy toys contain nickel, though, so avoid it if you’re allergic or sensitive.
Power: N/A
Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
Size: 3″ in total length, 1.1″ in diameter at widest point.
Lube compatible: Yes, water-based, oil-based, or silicone-based lubes are all fine.
Cleaning: A body-safe medical wipe or a 10% bleach solution. I wouldn’t boil it as this might damage the glue holding the gem in place.
This plug is surprisingly light for a metal piece, so don’t go in expecting the heft and weight of a stainless steel toy. Its classic butt plug shape with tapered tip makes it easy to insert and comfortable to wear, while the narrow neck and broad base hold it safely and securely in place. You might find that the base digs into your butt cheeks after a while, so this probably isn’t a plug for all-day wear.
The bright red gem in the base is super pretty if you (like me) enjoy sparkly things. The red and gold colour scheme matches the rest of the set’s aesthetic and is pleasingly seasonal.
Hot (or cold) tip: experiment with temperature by popping your plug in the fridge for a few minutes or running it under warm water before use. Just remember that for anal play, tonnes of lube is essential.
A cute and playful plug for beginners to anal play or anyone who enjoys smaller yet rigid butt toys.
Day 11: Mini G-Spot Vibrator
This is the first vibrating toy in this sex toy advent calendar since Day 1’s bullet vibrator. Exciting! Let’s start with a few basic stats:
Material: ABS plastic
Colour: Black.
Body safe? Yes. ABS plastic is non-porous and non-toxic.
This plastic G-spot vibrator features a straight handle and curved, gently tapered tip for precision stimulation. If you prefer girthy toys or very deep stimulation, it won’t do much for you, but for basic vibrating G-spot action it’s perfectly serviceable.
I don’t love that it requires adisposable battery, partly for environmental reasons (rechargeable toys are so much more eco-friendly) and partly because having to hunt around for batteries before a masturbation sesh is super annoying. But to be fair, if anyone reads the small print on the advent calendar’s box, it does warn you that you’ll need a battery for one of the items. Inserting and changing the battery is easy. Simply unscrew the top and bottom halves of the toy, pop your battery in, and screw it back up again.
The controls are a simple twist mechanism. Turn until the little arrow on the side points to “on” or “off”. This vibe has only one speed. It’s actually reasonable, power-wise, for a one-AA-battery basic vibe, though much buzzier than I prefer. Volume-wise, it’s not too bad, though it does make a slight “rattly” noise when I press it hard against my body.
If, like me, you find that internal vibrations don’t do much for you, this G-spot vibrator also works well as a clitoral toy. Use the side of the shaft for broad stimulation and the tip for more precision. Of course, it’s also good for penises, balls, and anywhere else where vibrations feel good. (Not butts, though – this toy is not anal safe).
Day 12: Penis Stroker
Behind Door #12 of Lovehoney’s sex toy advent calendar is a stroker for people with penises. (It’s called a “male stroker” on the box. Lovehoney, I love you but please sort out the unnecessarily gendered language for next year!)
Material: Some kind of soft plastic, most likely TPE/TRP.
Colour: White.
Body safe? Kinda. The box indicates these strokers do not contain any phthalates, but the material is super porous. They’re safe enough for external use but won’t last very long.
Power: N/A
Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
Size: 2.5″ in length but SUPER stretchy.
Lube compatible:Water-based only, according to the instructions.
Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water. This material is porous so you won’t be able to get it fully clean. Consider it fluid-bonded to the person who uses it. I’d also suggest you throw it out after a few uses or if the material starts to degrade.
This specific product doesn’t seem to be available by itself, but it is very similar to the strokers you get in Tenga Eggs. It is textured inside and designed to fit over the head of the penis and then stretch as you masturbate your (or your partner’s) penis.
It’s very stretchy and pretty strong, so it will accommodate a wide range of sizes and you don’t need to worry about ripping it. It comes pre-lubricated, but adding extra water-based lube will only make your experience more enjoyable.
How does it feel? Let’s just say I got a very good response from an initially-sceptical Mr C&K. If you usually masturbate with your hand, strokers can be a brilliant way to change things up and add a new sensation. And if you enjoy hand sex with a partner, a textured penis stroker can turn a good hand job into an amazing hand job.
If you get this kit and enjoy using this stroker, I’d suggest swapping out to a more durable (preferably silicone) one when you can. Failing that, Tenga Eggs are pretty affordable at £9.99 so you can just replace them frequently.
Day 13: Wrist Restraints
We’re over half way now! It’s Day 13 of the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar, which I’m unboxing and reviewing day by day.
Behind Door #13, we have a set of black ribbon wrist restraints. They seem to be a slight variation on the Lovehoney Oh! Silky Bondage Restraints (RRP £8.99).
They’re… glorified ribbons, honestly. Each one has a little loop at each end to make restraint easier and is decorated with a red and gold Lovehoney heart, but other than that they’re just black ribbons of the sort you’d find in any craft store.
Tying people up with silky items like ribbons, ties, and scarves is a divisive subject amongst kinksters. Some say it’s fine, but many educators believe it’s dangerous. This is because these materials can easily tighten when pressure is applied, making them harder to untie if you’re using knots or even cutting off circulation if they’re left on for long enough.
If you want to use these restraints for a light BDSM or roleplay activity like tying your partner to the bed, that’s probably fine if you follow some basic safety protocols:
Tie them loosely. You should always be able to get at least two fingers between the ribbon and the skin.
Don’t use them for any kind of weight-bearing activity (the bound person shouldn’t pull hard against them, either).
Keep a pair of safety shears to hand in case you need to cut them off.
Never, ever leave a bound person alone. No, not even for a minute.
Honestly, though, if restraint is your thing just get some proper cuffs or some bondage rope and learn how to use it safely (via online tutorials, books, peer rope sessions, or classes with reputable teachers).
This one’s a miss for me. Packaging up lightly branded basic ribbons as “bondage restraints” (and dubiously safe ones at that) just doesn’t sit right with me.
Day 14: Adjustable Nipple Clamps
We’ve reached the end of the second week! After today, there are only ten days left to go of Lovehoney’s sex toy advent calendar 2021.
Behind Door #14 we have a set of nipple clamps. This set is a limited edition colourway version of the Lovehoney Tease Me Adjustable Nipple Clamps (RRP £12.99). They are gold in colour with red silicone tips, and finished with little charms shaped like the Lovehoney heart insignia.
My first reaction on opening this window was “oooh, they’re cute!” And they are. The red and gold is a pretty colour combination of the sort that I can see myself wearing to a very adult Christmas party! But how functional are they?
These clamps are easy to put on and take off. Simply move the slider down to open them up, pop them into position, and move the slider up again to secure them in place.
The point of adjustable nipple clamps is to fit a wide range of nipple sizes (and offer variable pressure levels). But these really won’t work for anyone with large nipples. My nipples are on the smaller side, considering that I have G-cup boobs, and I still had to open the clamps all the way to get them on.
They stayed on reasonably well when I was just moving around normally, but they pop off with the slightest tug. So if you like the idea of your partner pulling on them during sex, look elsewhere.
As far as how they feel, these clamps are going to be very, very gentle for the vast majority of wearers. And that might be exactly what you want! Wearing clamps purely for decoration or a very slight squeezing sensation is totally valid. But if you’re looking for a more intense pinch or for that rush of delicious pain when the clamps come off, these are likely to disappoint.
The quality also isn’t great. I’ve tried these clamps just a couple of times and already, some of the gold-coloured plating is starting to come off.
Cute, yes. But they’re not especially functional and they won’t last very long. They’re fine for a night or two of wear in the bedroom or out at the club. But if you’re looking for something more intense or durable, you might want to consider tweezer clamps or clover clamps instead.
Day 15: Silicone Anal Beads
Here we are in the third week of the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar. There have been a few hits, a few misses, and a few in-betweens so far.
Behind Door #15, we have a set of silicone anal beads.
Material: Silicone.
Colour: Black.
Body safe? Yes. Silicone is hygienic (essential for anal toys in particular), non-toxic, and non-porous.
Power: No inbuilt power but it pairs with a bullet vibrator (see more further down).
Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
Size: 6″ in total length, 5″ insertable. Beads range in diameter from 0.9″ to 1.2″.
Cleaning: Sterilise with a 10% bleach solution or by boiling.
I’m impressed with today’s offering. These anal beads are made of soft and silky matte silicone and are well-designed to make for easy and comfortable insertion, even for complete beginners. Remember to always use tonnes of lube for anal play and if anything hurts, stop immediately. Anal can feel intense, but it is not supposed to hurt.
You can use these beads on their own, or pair them with the bullet vibrator behind Door #1 (or any small bullet in your collection – it pairs particularly well with the We-Vibe Tango!) The silicone transmits vibrations well along the length of the beads and into the tip, even on lower settings.
Anal beads are versatile. They can form the main event of a play session, or you can wear them during sex or masturbation for added stimulation. Some people swear by pulling them out at the point of climax, claiming that this increases orgasmic contractions and increases pleasure. Your mileage may vary but if that sounds fun to you, why not give it a go?
Day 16: Menthol Pleasure Balm
With only 9 days of the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar to go, I feel like we’re into the home stretch now.
Behind Door #16 is a small tin of Lovehoney’s menthol “pleasure balm”. The idea is that when you apply a small amount to external erogenous zones, such as the clitoris or nipples, it increases sensitivity to enhance your pleasure. It’s very similar to the Bliss Orgasm Balm I reviewed last year.
Lovehoney’s pleasure balm is made of primarily plant-derived ingredients including sweet almond oil, grape seed oil, shea butter, cocoa, avocado oil, and wheat extract. It does also contain beeswax, so you might want to avoid this one if you’re vegan. I’m not a scientist by any stretch, but I can’t see anything alarming from a health or safety perspective in the ingredients list as long as you don’t have any allergies or sensitivities to any of the ingredients.
Everyone will react differently to things like this. It works really well for me! The cool, tingly sensation is quite intense and it definitely makes my clitoral orgasms both easier to reach and more explosive. It’s not a magic cure-all for orgasm difficulties, of course. But if a little extra sensitivity helps you, then this could be just the thing. And of course, even if you don’t struggle to orgasm, it can always be fun to play with new and different sensations!
You only get 7g in the tin, but a little goes a long way with this stuff. I really only needed a small dab to get the full effects. It also lasts well, so constant reapplication isn’t necessary.
The pleasure balm has a white creamy consistency that melts to an oily liquid when you rub it between your fingers or massage it into your skin. It has a distinctive but pleasant minty smell. Be aware that if you’re using it during oral sex, you’ll definitely be able to taste it. It’s for external use only, so don’t use it inside your vagina or butt.
My biggest complaint? The little tin is really hard to open! I’ve found that squeezing it between my palms and then twisting is the best way. But struggling to open a tin without interrupting the flow of your sex or masturbation session is a pain.
Otherwise? Love this stuff. I’ll definitely be buying more when this little tin runs out.
Day 17: Rabbit Cock Ring
Today’s offering in Lovehoney’s 2021 sex toy advent calendar is a rabbit cock ring. It can be used alone, but to get the most out of it you’ll want to pair it with the bullet vibe found in Door #1 or any other bullet vibe in your collection. The ring sits around the penis, restricting blood flow out of the wearer’s erection, while the rabbit ears tickle the receptive partner’s clitoris. It looks a little something like this:
Here are the basic facts and stats:
Material: Silicone.
Colour: Black.
Body safe? Yes. Silicone is non-porous, hygienic, and body-safe.
Power: No inbuilt power, use with any bullet vibe.
Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
Size: 3.5″ in total length. Ears measure 1″. Diameter of opening is 1.5″ without stretching.
I really like this cock ring. It is stretchy enough to fit the vast majority of penis sizes, but strong enough to provide a pleasurable squeeze and stay securely in place.
The rabbit ears really make this one for me. The silicone transmits vibrations well, and the fluttering from the ears feels amazing against my clit.
I’ll be honest: I rarely orgasm from using this kind of toy during penetrative sex. That’s because, once you add any kind of thrusting into the mix, the clitoral stimulation is too eratic and inconsistent to get me off. But that doesn’t mean the extra sensation isn’t very welcome.
I can honestly see myself using this ring separately for clitoral masturbation as well as for partnered sex. Those ears are just that good, especially when paired with a high powered bullet like the Blush Nocturnal (pictured here):
If you’re a penis owner, you could also use this ring for masturbation either by itself or with a bullet. Try turning the ears around so they tickle your balls, if that sounds hot to you.
A versatile toy that is a great addition to this kit.
Day 18: Pom Pom Tickler
We’re less than a week from the end of this sex toy advent calendar adventure now!
Door #18 contains what Lovehoney are calling a “pom pom tickler”. It’s essentially a red pom pom in some kind of soft and fluffy material attached to a black velcro ring.
Sensation play can be a lot of fun either as part of sex or as an activity in and of itself. Try running the tickler along sensitive places, from your partner’s sides to their inner thighs or even the soles of their feet. This pom pom tickler is soft enough that you can even use it on places like faces and genitals.
Sensation play can be intense. Even though it doesn’t usually involve pain, it is a form of kink. And tickling can be a hyper-intense activity or even a hard limit for some people. So check in regularly with your partner and make sure you have their active, ongoing consent.
Optionally, you might want to consider combining sensation play with restraints (proper rope or cuffs, not those horrible “wrist restraint” ribbons from Day 13!)
My only concern with the pom pom tickler is I’m not really sure how easy it is to clean. You might be able to wash it in some warm water and then let it dry thoroughly, but you’re never going to get it completely sterile again. So if you get any kind of bodily fluids on it, I recommend considering it fluid bonded to that person.
Day 19: Vanilla Massage Oil
Door #19 of Lovehoney’s sex toy advent calendar 2021 contains a bottle of vanilla-scented massage oil. This simple formula contains just four ingredients:
Ethylhexyl palmite, a common skincare ingredient that functions as an emollient, solvent, and fragrance fixative, according to The Derm Review.
Caprylic/capric triglyceride, which is derived from coconut oil and glycerine according to The Soap Kitchen and is widely recognised as safe for topical use.
Isopropyl myristate, a thickening agent or moisturiser commonly found in cosmetics. Reports suggest it can cause skin irritation in a minority of people (usually those with existing skin conditions) but is widely considered safe for cosmetic use.
Parfum, a mysterious concoction of synthetic fragrances designed to make the product smell good. Many people recommend avoiding products with this “ingredient” (actually potentially a mix of ingredients) as we don’t know exactly what’s in it. I can’t tell you whether to avoid these products or not. I generally use them without too much concern and have never had a problem, but your mileage (and tolerance for long-term risk) may vary.
You get 30ml in this little bottle of vanilla massage oil. You only need a few drops to get decent skin coverage, but it does dry out quite quickly once you start massaging. You’ll get maybe 3-4 massages out of this bottle, depending on how generously you want to apply it.
The scent is very strong and distinctively vanilla. It’s a little artificial, but not unpleasant. Be aware that the scent really lingers on your skin so unless you’re going to take a shower straight after, you might smell of vanilla for the rest of the day.
By the way: make sure the lid is on properly when you’re done! Ask me why there’s massage oil all over my desk…
Massages can be a fun precursor to sex, a form of aftercare, or even a way to connect physically and intimately with your partner without involving your genitals. A nice scented massage oil can add a little extra sense of indulgence to the experience.
If you like this massage oil, you can get a bottle of Lovehoney’s Oh! Vanilla Massage Oil for £5.99 when this one runs out. The Oh! oil seems to contain more natural ingredients and nothing mysterious like the above-mentioned “parfum”.
Day 20: G-Spot Dildo
We’re down to the last few days!
Behind today’s sex toy advent calendar door is a mini G-spot dildo. I’ll start, as usual, with a rundown of the basic stats:
Material: Silicone.
Colour: Black.
Body safe? Yes. Silicone is body-safe and non-porous.
Power: No motor, but pairs with a bullet vibe if you wish.
Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
Size: 5.5″ total length, 5″ insertable, 1.2″ in diameter at the widest point.
This dildo has a hole in the base where you can insert a bullet vibe. This means it is very flexible to about halfway up the shaft, after which the silicone becomes firmer.
You can use your G-spot dildo with the bullet that came in Door #1, or any suitably sized bullet vibe in your collection. I found it worked well with the Blush Nocturnal or We-Vibe Tango X!
I also teamed it with the rabbit cock ring from a few days ago, just for fun!
The very gentle curve and bulbed head offer comfortable insertion and G-spot targeting. Though this toy is billed as a G-spot dildo, you could also use it as an anal dildo. The flared base makes it safe and, if you have a prostate, the curved tip is ideal for prostate stimulation.
Size lovers may not find this dildo large enough to satisfy. But if you’re new to insertable toys, want something you can use for warm-up, or just prefer smaller or slimmer toys, you can’t go wrong with this one.
Day 21: Massager
The 21st door of Lovehoney’s 2021 sex toy advent calendar contains a star-shaped plastic massager, presumably designed to be used with the massage oil from two days ago (the ordering here is a little weird. I’d have put them on consecutive days, but okay). It’s red with silver glitter, tying in with the festive theme of this whole set.
The massager measures 6″ across from point to opposite point, and each arm is around 2″ in length. It’s very light, and the shape makes it easy and comfortable to hold. If you enjoy giving massages but find that your hands or wrists get tired, a massager like this can help. You can use all five points at once for an all-over massage, or tilt it and use one end to focus on a smaller area.
This one is a surprising winner for me. It’s sitting on my desk at the moment and I’ve found myself reaching for it to get the knots out of my temperamental neck and shoulders and relieve my I-spend-too-long-sitting-at-a-computer upper back pain. The rigidity allows you to get deeply into those sore muscles. With this thing, I can get the kind of deep tissue massage that is sort of painful but in a really good way.
Exchanging massages can be a lovely way to connect physically with your partner, whether or not they lead to sex. Massage can also be a great way to show love to someone whose love language is physical touch.
Day 22: Penis Sleeve
With only three days to go, we’re definitely into the home stretch of this sex toy advent calendar adventure now! So what’s behind Door #22?
I’ve had a wide range of feelings about the items in this advent calendar, ranging from very positive to “ugh, seriously?” But today is the first one that has genuinely, seriously annoyed me! Let’s take a look at this stretchy penis sleeve and find out why I’m going “aaaaahhhhhh no!”
Material: A jelly-like “soft plastic”, possibly TPE.
Colour: Clear.
Body safe? No. More on why below.
Power: N/A.
Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
Size: 4″ total length, very stretchy.
Lube compatible: Should work with any kind of lube.
Cleaning: You really can’t clean this material. Gentle soap and warm water will clean surface dirt but since it’s porous, it’ll never be entirely clean again.
The basic idea of a penis sleeve like this is that you stretch it over your penis before penetrative sex. The bumps and nodules supposedly offer additional stimulation to the receptive partner, while helping the wearer to “last longer”, presumably by reducing the sensations they can feel.
Setting aside all the problems with the ubiquitous idea that a penis owner’s job is to “last” as long as possible during sex, the premise of this toy pisses me off. Sure, wearing a penis sleeve might mean you don’t come as quickly (or at all, until you take it off). Why? Because you can’t fucking feel anything!
I also seriously question how much these little jelly bumps and ridges are going to do for the person being penetrated. They’re not really pronounced enough to have the effect of, say, a highly textured dildo. I suspect the effect, for most people, will be little more than that of one of those “ribbed for her pleasure” condoms (i.e. basically nothing.)
Then we get into the safety issue. The website and packaging insists this penis sleeve doesn’t contain phthalates, so let’s take that at face value. But phthalates aren’t the only reason to be wary of jelly-like, “soft plastic” and TPE/TPR sex toys. According to toxic toy expert Dangerous Lilly, these materials are often softened with mineral oils and can contain other harmful chemicals besides phthalates. The material is also unstable and will begin to break down after a few months. (That myth about silicone toys melting together in storage? They won’t, but these mystery soft plastic toys likely will!)
Feat. the Godemiche Ambit in a limited-edition Valentine’s Day design
This material is also extremely porous. I have mixed feelings about porous materials for external toys (TL;dr: probably okay for a few uses, but replace them often) but I NEVER recommend using them internally. Just from handling this penis sleeve, taking photos, and leaving it out on my desk overnight, it’s started to dull and get cloudy with lint, house dust, and the oils from my skin. You will NEVER get this thing clean, and it will harbour bacteria that could potentially give you a nasty infection. If you absolutely must use it for sex, please use it once and then throw it in the trash where it belongs.
Bottom line: I actually can’t tell you how it feels, because my partner and I both refuse to put this contraption anywhere near our genitals. Steer clear. I cannot stress enough how much I hate it. The fact that it’s included in a set that is fundamentally marketed at beginners, who may not know any better (because we don’t exactly get taught about toy safety in sex education), just makes it worse.
Day 23: Sex Position Cards
It’s the penultimate day of my foray into the Lovehoney’s “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar. After yesterday’s “aaaaahhhhh”-inducing offering, I was hoping that Day 23 might show a little more promise. Let’s open it up and find out.
Door #23 contains a set of sex position cards. There are 26 cards in total, with positions ranked “easy”, “medium”, or “difficult”. I think those rankings might be largely subjective, as all our bodies have their own strengths and weaknesses. But okay, I’ll run with it.
The deck begins with a card offering some safety tips. They’re pretty 101-level, which makes sense since this set is really aimed at beginners, but they’re solid: never leave a bound person alone, don’t tie someone too tightly, stop if something hurts, use a safeword, agree boundaries before you play. Cool. That’s basically the Safety & Consent 101 I’d want to give a complete beginner.
Each position has a name, many of which are punny or otherwise amusing. (The Thigh’s The Limit, Clitar Hero, and Deep G Diving are a few highlights). Each card contains a picture of how to do the position, and a short description of why it’s fun or how to make it hotter. You also get a handy list of which types of stimulation the position is best for (clitoral, G-spot, penis, balls, etc.) and suggested toys or implements to use.
I have not, of course, tried every single position on these cards. Some of them are fairly basic positions with quirky names (“The Elevator” is just someone on their knees giving their partner oral sex) while others are somewhere between “why?” and “likely to be physiologically impossible unless one of you is a size four and the other is a gym-bunny.” But for gaining ideas and inspiration, they’re perfectly fine.
For some reason, I’m now thinking about this scene from The Bold Type where Jane, Kat and Sutton test out one of Sage’s sex positions to “verify it’s physically possible.”
Day 24: Womanizer Classic
We’ve made it!
If you were expecting something big and exciting for Day 24, Lovehoney did not disappoint! Behind Door #24 of this sex toy advent calendar is a Womanizer Classic, one of the newer additions to the famed Womanizer line of clitoral stimulators. Let’s start with the basic rundown:
Material: ABS plastic body, silicone nozzle.
Colour: Pink body, white nozzle.
Body safe? Yes, completely. ABS plastic and silicone are both 100% body-friendly and non-porous.
Power: Rechargeable via the included magnetic cable.
Waterproof: Yes, submersible. Suction toys offer a very different sensation underwater, so it’s worth trying to see if it works for you.
Size: The body is 6″ in total length. The nozzle opening is 0.7″.
Cleaning: Wipe the body clean with a sterile wipe. Clean the removable nozzle by boiling it or popping it into a 10% bleach solution.
The Womanizer Classic is shaped very similarly to the Womanizer Premium, which you may recall I adored. The Classic model has slightly fewer features (none of the fancy Smart Silence or Auto Pilot stuff, and only 8 speeds instead of 12). But otherwise, it’s broadly much the same.
Most importantly, it delivers those slow-build, leg-shakingly intense orgasms I’ve come to expect from Womanizer toys.
These toys all use patented “Pleasure Air” technology. The nozzle surrounds your clit and delivers stimulation through rapid air pulses. Sound too gentle? It’s not. It’s amazing.
The Womanizer Classic has three intuitively placed buttons: an on/off, and buttons to turn the speed up or down. They’re easy to press, and they’re different sizes so you can feel for the right one without needing to break your flow to look.
The only thing to be aware of is that it’s pretty loud at the higher settings. It gets a little quieter when the nozzle has a proper seal against your body, but it’s still got a distinctive sound. I don’t really care about discretion (“Goodnight, honey, I’m going to go masturbate” is a commonly used sentence in my house!) but your mileage may vary.
One thing to be aware of as a beginner, is that suction sex toys do take a little getting used to. The sensations are quite different to a traditional vibrating toy, and it can take practice to figure out how it works best for you. So if you don’t get on with it the first time, I recommend giving it a few chances before you discount it.
Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” Sex Toy Advent Calendar: Conclusion & Final Thoughts
We made it! I reviewed every single item in the Lovehoney Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar over the last 24 days. Before I call it a wrap on this project, I wanted to provide a final review where I share my thoughts on the set as a whole.
Image: Lovehoney
Who is the Target Market?
The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar is aimed at couples, and specifically assumes a cisgender, heterosexual couple. I’m not a fan of gendered language or assumptions in sex toy marketing, since body parts don’t have inherent genders and products certainly don’t.
In the future, I’d like to see these calendars marketed according to what body parts they work with, rather than gendering things, which can be alienating for trans and non-binary people. I’d also like to see versions available for couples made up of two vulva-owners or two penis-owners.
Gendering aside, this set is very clearly designed to provide sex toys for beginners. Many of the items are super basic, which is mostly fine for its intended purpose.
This set is aimed at people who are new to exploring sex toys and different ways to connect intimately, so offering lots of different options and ideas is a great thing.
Best and Worst Of
The quality of the items in this set is wildly variable. There are a few things that are genuinely great quality and will probably last many years, like the silicone toys. A few that are fine for a use or two, but won’t last long, like the strokers. Some that are fine for complete beginners but “meh” for anyone with an iota of experience, like the kink gear. And the odd one that made me go “aaaaaahhhhh, no!”
So here’s my best and worst of roundup:
Best item: This is easy – definitely the Womanizer Classic from Day #24, a genuinely excellent clitoral suction toy that retails for £119.99 by itself.
Honourable mention: The bullet vibe from Day #1. Reasonable power, versatile (it pairs well with many of the other items in this set), and rechargeable.
Worst item: That damn penis sleeve from Day #22. Unsafe, unsanitary, and just overall not something I would ever recommend anyone puts near their genitals.
Honourable mention: The wrist ties from Day #13. Not only are they glorified basic satin ribbons, they also work in a way that is very dubiously safe for any but the lightest bondage.
So Is It Worth It?
Whether or not this kit is worth the money very much depends on what you want to get out of it. If you’re an experienced player looking to expand your sex toy collection, skip it and get one or two really good quality toys instead (might I suggest a Doxy or a We-Vibe Tango?)
If you and your partner are brand new to toys and looking to explore some basic things together, you might get a lot out of this set. Despite the variable quality, it offers possibilities and a kind of permission to try things out. And if something doesn’t work for you? No big deal, there are 23 other things to try.
If you’re specifically after a Womanizer Classic and think you might enjoy a few of the other items too, the Best Sex of Your Life set is a no-brainer. The Womanizer costs literally the same as this entire set, so you might as well snag a bargain.
You do get £370+ worth of products for £120 (and can get a further 10% off with my code “AFF-COFFKINK10”). So if you think there are at least a few things you’ll enjoy, it’s a good deal.
Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!
I admit that I am sceptical when it comes to products that aren’t sex toys but claim to boost the chances of orgasm. However, I am also a curious creature and willing to try most things once. So when this little tin of Bliss Orgasm Balm from Lovehoney appeared in my shipment of Masturbation May products, I thought it was high time I gave it a go.
What is Bliss Orgasm Balm?
Bliss is a topical balm designed to increase sensitivity in the clitoris. It comes in a small heart-shaped tin and is white in colour and has a creamy consistency that melts onto your fingers – similar to a lip balm.
Bliss Orgasm Balm is infused with peppermint, menthol and essential oils. These ingredients stimulate the nerve-endings in the clitoris and encourage blood flow to the area, increasing sensitivity.
Is it body-safe?
To answer this question, I took a closer look at the ingredients.
Argania Spinosa (Argan) Kernel Oil. A natural oil commonly used in cosmetics, make-up and skincare products. It has been shown to have beneficial properties for the skin and is considered safe.
Hydrogenated Olive Oil (and) Olea Europaea (Olive) Fruit Oil. We all know olive oil has health benefits when used in food, but it is also a common ingredient in skincare and cosmetics. These forms of olive oil were investigated by the Cosmetics Ingredients Review and declared safe.
Hydrogenated Jojoba wax. Jojoba oil and jojoba wax were investigated by the International Journal of Toxicology and proven safe for cosmetic use. (Warning: link contains mentions of animal testing.)
Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea Butter). An incredibly common ingredient in skincare and cosmetic products. The Cosmetic Ingredients Review investigated shea butter and found it to be safe.
Menthol. Menthol is widely used for its distinctive minty fragrane and the cooling sensation it creates on the skin. The FDA has found it to be safe for these purposes and also in food.
Tocopherol. Tocopherol is a form of Vitamin E, typically derived from vegetable oils. The Cosmetic Ingredient Review and International Journal of Toxicology concluded that it is safe for topical use.
Mentha Piperita (Peppermint) Oil. An essential oil derived from the peppermint plant, the Cosmetic Ingredient Review determined that peppermint oil is safe as long as the concentration of the compound pulegone does not exceed 1%.
In conclusion? Every ingredient in this little balm has been declared safe for topical (external) use by experts. Full marks, Lovehoney! Unless you’re allergic or sensitive to any of the ingredients, you can use Bliss Orgasm Balm with confidence.
How do you use it?
You may look at this tiny little tin and think, “is that all you get?” But believe me when I say you only need a little bit to make this stuff effective!
Dab a small amount onto your fingers and massage into your clitoral area. It can be quite intense, so start off cautiously – if you want a more intense sensation or aren’t getting the desired effect, you can always add more.
From there, continue to masturbate or have sex as you normally would.
Remember: Bliss Orgasm Balm is for external use only. Don’t put it inside your vagina or butt.
What does it feel like?
Have you ever used “cooling” or “tingling” lube? It’s a bit like that, only more intense! If you’ve ever put toothpaste on your genital area (which is something I don’t recommend, but a lot of people do) this is a similar sensation – and safer!
The best way I can describe it is as a cool tingly sensation when the balm first goes on. Then, as your body gets used to it, the initial sensation fades but you’re left with a higher than usual level of clitoral sensitivity.
Does it work?
Yes – with caveats.
If you struggle to orgasm, don’t expect Bliss Orgasm Balm to be a cure-all. It isn’t. But it definitely does heighten sensitivity, which can absolutely help when it comes to inducing orgasm. I also suspect it might act as something of a placebo for some people – you expect the balm to help, so you feel more relaxed and less stressed, so having an orgasm is easier.
I absolutely recommend trying a product like this if you find orgasm difficult. But manage your expectations going in, yeah?
If you don’t generally struggle to orgasm but are just looking for some extra sensitivity or a fun way to play with sensations, you might well enjoy using Bliss Orgasm Balm.
Some extra fun ways to play…
As ever, there’s no right way to use sexuality products and you should do whatever works for you. But I found a few fun ways to use Bliss Orgasm Balm that might appeal to some of you.
Put some on before you get dressed in the morning to give you a little tingle of arousal as you go about your day.
Use it during oral sex and have your partner gently blow on your vulva. This will send cool minty tingles through you!
Put some on and then start watching porn or reading erotica and see how long you can wait before you simply have to touch yourself. (Or order your submissive to put some on and then not touch!)
Use it to increase clitoral pleasure during penetrative sex. This greatly enhances the chance of orgasm for most vulva owning people!
So do I recommend it?
I rate this product a lot more highly than I expected to! I really liked the tingly sensations, the extra level of sensitivity, and the fun variety it added to my solo playtime. I’m also seeing some great potential in it for kink and power exchange play and I’m looking forward to experimenting more with my partner.
At just £9.99/$12.99 for a 20g tin (which will last you ages – remember you only need a little bit) it’s a steal. Throw some in your next Lovehoney order!
Thank you to Lovehoney for sharing this product with me in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views are, as always, my own. Pictures property of Lovehoney and reproduced with permission. I’m partnering with Lovehoney throughout May to bring you #MasturbationMay reviews and content!
