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[Lingerie Review] Lovehoney Tiger Lily Red Floral Lace Body

This is the final review in my series looking at Lovehoney’s 2022 Valentine’s Day lingerie offerings. With seven days to go, you’ve still got plenty of time to shop if you want to treat your loved one, or yourself, to some sexy Valentine’s lingerie. Today we’re looking at another piece from the Tiger Lily range : the Tiger Lily Red Floral Lace Body.

Tiger Lily Red Floral Lace Body: Style and Aesthetics

The Tiger Lily Lace Body is a one-piece bodysuit made from floral lace and mesh (polyamide/polyester/elastane) in a vibrant shade of red. I’ve already gushed about how much I love this fabric, and I still do. It’s eye-catchingly bright, flirtatious and femme, and the tiny flecks of silvery thread in the lace make it shimmer as it catches the light.

Close up of Lovehoney lingerie red lace bodysuit

The Tiger Lily Lace Body features a wide waistband adorned with a Lovehoney heart insignia, a plunging neckline with strappy detailing, criss-cross back straps, and poppers at the crotch for easy access.

Thiis piece’s shape works brilliantly for my body. It draws attention to the parts I’m most comfortable with (waist curve and cleavage) while pulling the eye away from the parts I don’t love so much (stomach). The slightly higher cut on the leg helps make my short legs look a little longer, and the scalloped edging is a really beautiful detail.

Woman in red lace body from Lovehoney Valentine's Day lingerie range

The Tiger Lily Lace Body is gorgeous on its own and makes a real statement. You could also pair it with the matching mask and cuffs set (which I reviewed last week), a pair of fishnet stockings and some killer heels, or a pair of red satin gloves for a sophisticated twist.

Comfort and Fit

The Tiger Lily Lace Body comes in two different sizes: One Size (UK 8-16) and One Size Queen (UK 18-24). I’m currently a size 12 and the One Size fits me well, and would easily work for a size or two bigger or smaller as well.

The Tiger Lily bodysuit is adjustable in a number of places for a more comfortable fit. The shoulder straps and back strap are easily adjustable with sliders, and two rows of poppers offer two sizing options for the crotch. The fabric is stretchy and the waistband even more so.

Back view of red lace bodysuit

Best of all, this bodysuit style is big bust friendly! The overwhelming majority of wired lingerie at remotely affordable price points, however much I love it, is simply not suitable for someone with a G-cup chest. I either end up with wires jabbing me painfully in the ribs, boob spilling over the top or out of the sides of the cups, or both. That’s why I tend to gravitate towards non-wired pieces with more fabric – they offer greater coverage and everything stays in place far better.

Another advantage of non-wired lingerie, of course, is comfort. The Tiger Lily Lace Body’s material is soft and non-scratchy, something I can’t overstate the importance of. In other words, it’s an item I could wear all night without either constant readjusting or wanting to claw my skin off because it’s so itchy.

Verdict

The Tiger Lily Lace Body is my absolute favourite from Lovehoney’s Valentine’s Day line this year (and that’s saying something – it’s a strong range overall!) The fabric is beautiful, the colour is gorgeous, and the shape is perfect for my body. It’s also easy to wear and comfortable enough to flaunt all night long.

Yes, yes, and yes. I’m going to get a lot of wear out of this one.

The Tiger Lily Red Floral Lace Body retails for £32.99.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Tiger Lily lace bodysuit along with various other items for review. All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Lingerie Review] Lovehoney Lotus Embroidered Black Chemise Set

I was really spoiled for choice with this year’s Lovehoney Valentine’s Day lingerie offerings. Between the flirty red Tiger Lily range, the sophisticated blue Orchid range, and now the classic and sexy black Lotus range, there were so many beautiful things to pick from. I decided to branch out and try something I wouldn’t normally pick up – namely the Lotus Embroidered Black Chemise Set.

Lotus Take a Closer Look

The Embroidered Black Chemise Set comes with two pieces: the chemise itself and a matching thong. The chemise features wired quarter cups, bra-style back clasp and straps, and removeable panels to cover your nipples. Its waistband and removeable panels are made of beautiful semi see-through lace with floral embroidery, and the skirt is made of a soft and swishy polyester/elastane blend. The matching thong features a sexy lace panel at the front and a 100% cotton gusset.

Lotus Embroidered Black Chemise from Lovehoney Valentine's Day lingerie

Black lingerie never goes out of style. Though this is part of the Valentine’s Day lingerie line, it’s really a timeless style that will look fabulous any night of the year. The floral lace adds a fun and femme touch, and the hint of skin between the bra cup and lace panel ups the sexiness.

Close up of Lovehoney embroidered black chemise lace

I also really love the shape of this piece. I’m confident about my waist and less confident about my stomach, and this chemise emphasises the former while drawing attention away from the latter.

Fit and Comfort

The Lotus Embroidered Black Chemise Set comes in sizes from UK6 up to UK30. I received the Medium (UK10/12 equivalent). Unfortunately, every time I order an item of lingerie with underwires, I remember why I usually don’t. While the rest of the piece fits me well, hugging my waist and reaching just to the bottom of my butt, the cups are far, far too small.

Woman in black lace chemise from Lovehoney Valentine's lingerie range

I understand that lingerie like this can’t come in every possible permutation of body size + cup size. That’d make each item unreasonably expensive and probably result in a lot of unsold stock. Unfortunately, this reality means that designers have to make some assumptions regarding average cup sizes in relation to body size. And I’m aware that my size 12 frame/G cup boobs combo isn’t exactly typical. The result, though, is that the overwhelming majority of lingerie with wires just isn’t going to work for my body.

I can sort of get the Lotus Embroidered Black Chemise to work for me with some very careful adjustment to how the quarter cups and embroidered panels sit. But even then, things keep slipping out of place, meaning that either my boobs fall out or I get poked in the ribcage with a wire that’s really too small for my chest.

The Lotus Embroidered Black Chemise is adjustable in a couple of places. The bra clasp features 3 settings, and you can make the straps longer or shorter to suit you. There’s a good amount of stretch to the thong’s waistband, too, so that should work for most bodies that fall within the size range.

Comfort-wise, I have no complaints beyond the sizing issues. The mesh skirt is super soft and the lace is skin-friendly and non scratchy.

Verdict

Beautiful… as long as your boobs will fit in it! If you’re small to average chested, this is a gorgeous piece in a classic, sexy design. If you’re larger chested, though, I can’t wholeheartedly recommend it as you’re likely to encounter the same fit issues as I did.

I really wish this one worked for me, because I really do love the style. Unfortunately, I think I’ll be passing it on to a smaller-chested friend, and continuing to gravitate towards more boob-friendly styles such as bodysuits and wireless pieces.

The Lotus Embroidered Black Chemise Set retails for £44.99.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this piece in exchange for an honest review. All views, as always, are mine.

[Kink Product Review] Lovehoney Tiger Lily Lace Cuffs and Eye Mask Set

For today’s mini review, we’re looking at another product from Lovehoney’s 2022 Valentine’s Day lingerie. The Tiger Lily range consists of six designs. I’ll also be reviewing the bodysuit next week, so keep an eye out for that! Today, though, we’re looking at the Tiger Lily Lace Cuffs and Eye Mask Set.

The Lace Cuffs and Mask Set consists of two wrist cuffs and one eye mask, all made of the same bright red floral lace and mesh and fastening with tie-up red ribbons. The colour is gorgeous and the lace is super pretty. I particularly like that there’s tiny flecks of silvery thread in the lace so it catches the light and shimmers when you move.

Lovehoney Tiger Lily red lace cuffs set

Each cuff is elasticated around one opening, and the eye mask is elasticated along the top, meaning they’ll stretch to fit many wearers. The fit is comfortable, though I’ve found that the cuffs do tend to ride up after a while, meaning I need to readjust them periodically. If you’re in a bigger body, I’d hesitate to recommend these cuffs. I’m a size 12 and the elastic digs into my forearm just enough to be… not exactly uncomfortable, but definitely noticeable. The fabric is soft and doesn’t scratch or irritate my skin.

Tiger Lily red lace eye mask bondage blindfold

The Tiger Lily Lace Cuffs and Eye Mask Set is really more about aesthetics than function. The eye mask really doesn’t block the light or obstruct vision very much at all. It’s more “masquerade ball” than “sensory deprivation”. I’d recommend a padded blindfold if you’re after the latter. And while the cuffs’ ribbons make them ideal for tying together (say to restrain your lover’s hands behind their back, for example), I wouldn’t use them for tying someone to the bed or any other kind of more intense bondage activity. They’re just too delicate and I’d be worried about ripping them. If you want to actually tie someone up or get tied up, consider a set of safe bondage cuffs instead.

The Tiger Lily Lace Cuffs and Eye Mask Set is beautiful, but I’m hesitant to call it functional. And that’s not really a criticism – as a femme, I’m very in favour of beauty for the sake of beauty. So if you want to engage in actual sensory deprivation or bondage play? I’d look elsewhere. They really are very pretty, though…

The set retails for £9.99. It makes a lovely stand-alone Valentine’s gift, and also pairs beautifully with any of the other pieces in the Tiger Lily range. Another option? Wear it with a set of black lingerie to add a touch of fun and colour to your ensemble.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Tiger Lily Lace Cuffs and Eye Mask Set to review! All views, as always, are mine.

[Lingerie Review] Lovehoney Dark Orchid Plunge Teddy

Last week, I reviewed the robe from Lovehoney’s new Dark Orchid range of Valentine’s Day lingerie. This week, I’m back with a review of another piece from the set: the Dark Orchid Plunge Teddy.

Fun fact, since I asked the internet and now you get to know the answer too: apparently a “teddy” is basically the same as a bodysuit, only “a little bit sexier”. Now you know.

With that said, let’s take a look.

Dark Orchid Teddy: Style and Aesthetics

The Dark Orchid Teddy is a one-piece lingerie item made from the same mix of midnight blue satin (polyester/elastane) and black eyelash lace (polyamide/polyester) as everything in this range. The gusset is made of vagina-friendly 100% cotton. It features a plunging neckline with lace-up detailing, halterneck straps that cross at the back, and a tie-up waistband.

Woman in Lovehoney Dark Orchid bodysuit

I really love the shape of this one. I often find myself drawn to teddy/bodysuit style pieces because I think they just suit my shape really well. They also tend to be a little more forgiving for very big boobs, whereas more structured pieces take one look at my G-cups and go “lol no”. (More on the fit and boob room in a minute!) The high cut makes my admittedly rather short legs look a little longer, and the waistband accentuates one of the parts of my body I’m most comfortable with.

The midnight blue shade is gorgeous, as is the delicate and feminine eyelash lace.

Fit and Comfort

The Dark Orchid Teddy comes in a range of sizes, ranging from UK6 to UK28. Even in just the few years I’ve been working with them, Lovehoney have massively expanded their plus-size lingerie options and I’m really loving seeing more inclusive size options as standard. Because everyone deserves beautiful lingerie!

I received the Medium (UK10/12) and, overall, it fits my size 12 body pretty well. If anything it’s a little on the small side, so maybe size up if you’re between sizes for this one. This is especially important if you have wider hips or a big butt, because you have to ease this one up over your body very carefully to avoid tearing the delicate lace. There’s not much give or stretch in it!

Comfort wise, the satin is lovely and soft and the lace is non-scratchy. I often shy away from lace-heavy pieces because I’m very sensitive to rough or scratchy fabrics, but this one is fine.

The Dark Orchid Teddy is adjustable in a couple of places. You can tie up the waistband as tightly or loosely as you like, and you can also change the length of the straps using the sliders. (Pro tip: do this before you put the teddy on. It’s near goddamn impossible unless you’re a contortionist once it’s on!)

The biggest downside, unfortunately, comes down once again to boob space. I’m not sure if it’s due to the spaghetti straps or the flimsiness of the lace, but this really doesn’t keep them in place very well. It seems fine when I first put it on but, as soon as I move or bend forwards or lie on my side, everything falls out. This means that I find myself adjusting it every few seconds and ultimately not feeling as comfortable and sexy as I’d like.

Verdict

I’m a little mixed on this one. The style and fabrics are gorgeous, and I love the cut and shape. But it’s really not the friendliest for bigger busted folks.

I think, reluctantly, I’m likely to pass this on to one of my smaller-boobed femme friends. It’s gorgeous, it’s just not a great fit for my body.

The Dark Orchid Teddy retails for £34.99.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Dark Orchid Teddy to review. All opinions are, as always, my own.

[Nightwear Review] Lovehoney Dark Orchid Robe

Valentine’s Day is coming up, which means it’s the time of year when I start receiving shipments of lovely seasonal products to try for you all. This year I thought I’d throw a little sexy loungewear/nightwear into the mix along with my traditional lingerie reviews. So today we’re looking at the rather lovely Dark Orchid Robe, a navy satin and lace robe from Lovehoney’s Valentine’s Day collection.

Dark Orchid Robe: Style and Aesthetics

Dark Orchid is one of Lovehoney’s 2022 seasonal lingerie lines and includes a robe, a chemise, and a teddy. I’m also going to be reviewing the teddy (WHY are they called that!?) next week.

The Dark Orchid Robe is made of midnight blue satin (polyester/elastane) with black eyelash lace (polyamide/polyester) sleeves and trim. The colour is gorgeous, really rich and deep, and close-up you can see that there’s matching blue edging around the flowers in the lace parts. I didn’t notice this on the product photos, and it’s a really pretty touch that helps tie the whole piece’s look together.

Due to the nature of the fabric, it looks pretty crumpled when it first arrives. Just hang it for a day or two and the creases will drop out naturally.

Woman in Dark Orchid Robe blue silky bathrobe from Lovehoney

It’s something I’d wear after sex to keep the chill off when I’m not ready to get dressed, or as I run down to the kitchen to make post-sex coffee. I can also see myself wearing it towards the end of a night out at a sex party or club, when I’ve shed my corset but I still want to look hot while being comfy and cosy.

It’s pretty enough to wear on its own but also works well paired with other lingerie styles in complementing colours.

My one design complaint? I wish it had pockets!

Fit and Comfort

The Dark Orchid Robe comes in 3 sizes, to fit anyone from a UK6 up to a UK30. Honestly, though, given the nature of this item and how it’s worn, I suspect it’d also work for a size or two either side of this range at least. I received the size 8-16 and it fit my size 12 frame comfortably and with tonnes of room to spare.

Length-wise, it reaches to mid thigh on me. I’m average height but if you’re tall, this robe might look very short on you! (Not necessarily a problem. Just something to be aware of).

The Dark Orchid Robe fastens with a belt around the middle, making it easy to customise how tightly or loosely you want to wear it. There’s also a hidden inner tie that you can use to help make sure it stays closed. The fabric is ultra soft and silky, which feels luxurious against my skin. Even the lace is pretty soft (which is vital for me as someone with fabric sensory issues). The whole garment is also very lightweight and easy to wear.

Woman in Lovehoney sexy robe, Dark Orchid Robe

The Dark Orchid Robe isn’t particularly warm, given that it’s short and made of such light fabrics. So it’s not going to be replacing my thick, fuzzy winter robe any time soon! With that said, it’s ideal for summer when I want something to throw on over my PJs that isn’t going to make me feel too hot. I can certainly see myself lounging around in it on summer evenings at home.

Verdict

The Dark Orchid Robe is hanging on the back of my bedroom door (I wish it came with a hanging loop to make it easier to keep on the door peg) because I just know it’s going to be something I wear regularly.

This one is a resounding yes from me. Beautiful and comfortable too – just gorgeous!

The Dark Orchid Robe retails for £39.99 ($49.99 US).

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Dark Orchid Robe and several other lovely Valentine’s Day products to review. All thoughts and images are, as always, my own.

[Guest Post] Why Talking to Strangers Online Makes Me Feel Better About My Chronic Illnesses by Layla Jax

I strive to run Coffee & Kink as an intersectional space that considers all the different ways sexuality relates to the various other facets of our unique identities. That’s why I’m delighted to be publishing this piece on chronic illnesses and dating by Layla Jax (she/her). Disabled people are so often desexualised by society but, as Layla says, sexuality is for everyone who wants to engage with it.

As always, you can help support me in bringing in more brilliant guest bloggers by chipping in via the tip jar. More voices really do make this space better, and paying all my writers a small fee is incredibly important to me.

Amy x

Why Talking to Strangers Online Makes Me Feel Better About My Chronic Illnesses by Layla Jax

Chronic illnesses have been part of my life for the last eight years – longer, even. They have consumed every aspect of my being from my ability to work, to my social life and interactions with the world. More than that though, they have affected my dating and sex life. 

Living with chronic illness, you are constantly subjected to people who don’t quite “get” you. You may look healthy or “normal”, and therefore they assume your illnesses cannot be as bad as you’re making out. People struggle to sympathise with a body full of symptoms and no end in sight. Meeting a person in a dating capacity is no different because, unconsciously or not, people judge and feel uncomfortable at the prospect of dating a person who is not fighting fit. 

Moving to online dating, I thought I had found the answer. I could talk to people without them noticing any of my symptoms or see the worn out version of me behind a screen. Yet quite quickly this started to fall short, too, because eventually it had to come out. People wanted to know why I didn’t work or why I was still living at home and therefore my chronically ill self was revealed, and a lot of the time they would disappear without a second glance. For those who did stick around, the change in the tone of conversation would start, and the patronising would begin. 

Time and time again the devastation of being rejected would hit me and I was sick of being stuck back at square one. But more than that, the disappearance of the excitement I felt at being desired cut deeper than the idea of someone not wanting to take me out for dinner. It was then that it hit me: it wasn’t just that I wanted to date. I wanted someone to rip my clothes off, to throw me across the bed; I wanted to have sex. 

Swinging websites were first introduced to me through my kink-loving ex. Although at the time I wasn’t too interested, it has always stayed in my mind. Signing up to the website for the first time on my own, simple messaging was all that was on my agenda. I was nervous at first, embarrassed even, weighed down with the previous setbacks I had faced of people ghosting me and finding me unappealing due to the reality of my life. Even so, I was horny and I wanted to get the buzz I used to get before becoming ill, that feeling of being wanted.  So, I created a basic profile, added a pretty PG snap, and watched the likes and messages flood in. 

Message after message, with no judgement, filled my screen and suddenly I had all these people wanting to talk to me. People who knew nothing of my life and the limitations I had, who didn’t know me or my chronic illness journey, who weren’t interested about my lack of job or my living arrangements. They didn’t speak to me like a patient who didn’t know my own mind or a child who was still finding their way in the world. They spoke to me like the 30-something grown-ass woman I was, the one that had been hidden for so long. 

A 30-something grown-ass woman who has sexual fantasies and desires, who loves masturbation and being dominated as well as partaking in serious filthy talk, yet has never had the freedom to explore these things due to the bias found in the normal dating world. Suddenly I could talk about my body and what it needed, I could take part in – albeit virtual – simultaneous wanking and I could sext long into the wee hours of the morning. For once, I could feel like the sexual woman that I am, and not the woman I am perceived to be. 

Talking to strangers about sex online has helped me for so many reasons. It has installed confidence in me to know that there are people out in the world who can see past all the other bullshit known as life. On a sexual level, it has helped me find what my kink is through getting to know my own body and what turns me on, and I can now use my body as a vessel for pleasure and not just anguish.  Online I can be anyone I want to be. I can be the me who can escape and leave my troubles behind or the me I strive to be away from the pain and the fatigue – the real me. It has shown me there are so many reasons to love the skin I am in and the body I call home. It has awoken something in me no judgemental guy looking for their perfect person on a traditional dating site could ever do. 

Collectively, we should all understand that being chronically ill and/or disabled doesn’t take away our sexual instincts or desires. Sexuality isn’t just reserved for the healthy or abled-bodied. Take away the physical limitations and my time online is no different to anybody else getting their horny kicks. My mind works in the same way as a lot of people my age, as does the wetness between my legs. Where sex is involved we are all on an equal playing field, and I for one have no intention of forgetting that ever again. 

About the author:

Layla Jax is a chronic illness blogger and writer. Her passion is for writing erotica, exploring her new found fantasies, and educating people that disabled people can love sex too.

[Better Sex Products Review] Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Part 2

As a quick reminder, Slow Sex is a range of lubes, gels, and other “better sex” products by Bijoux Indiscrets. They are beautifully packaged in stylish boxes and include zero gendered terminology on either the packaging or the website. With the exception of the oral sex strips, they’re all scented with coconut.

Collection of Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex products

If you missed part 1 of my review of several items from the Slow Sex range, check it out! Otherwise, I’m so glad you’re back for part 2! Let’s go.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm

Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm

I was highly sceptical about the Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm, as was Mr CK. But we kept an open mind and decided to give it a fair chance. It comes in a 10ml tube and I was expecting a liquid or thin gel, but it’s really more of a thick paste. I had to massage it between my fingers to get it to melt enough to use.

The packaging suggests applying Oral Sex Balm to your lips right before giving a blow job, or applying it directly to the penis. To get the full effect, we did both. I’m not sure most people would feel much if you only did the former.

First, the good: it definitely had an effect! My partner described it as a cooling sensation, which is likely caused by the menthol it contains. When you’re doing oral sex, the contrast between this cooling and the warmth of a mouth can be very interesting. He also reported that it did increase sensitivity slightly, and that it felt like sensation continued after the point of orgasm. So that was cool! It’s reasonably easy to wash off with warm water and soap.

Then the less-good: Since this is an oil-based product, it’s not suitable for use with any latex barriers. And given that I wouldn’t want several of the ingredients in my vagina, it also means it’s not really possible to go from oral to vaginal sex without cleaning up in between. I really dislike the sensation of anything oily or sticky on my hands, so I had to wipe this off with a tissue immediately after applying it.

Also worth noting: the coconutty/minty smell and taste is VERY potent. It’s certainly not unpleasant but if, like me, you like to experience the scent and taste of your partner’s body, this is definitely going to mask that.

Overall, a mixed experience but definitely more positive than we were expecting.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm retails for €14.95.

Slow Sex Full Body Massage Gel

Slow Sex massage gel

The Slow Sex Full Body Massage Gel comes in an attractive glass bottle. With 50ml in the bottle, it definitely feels like one of the more substantial Slow Sex products. This oil-based gel is designed for all-over massage.

The packaging says you can use it “anywhere and everywhere” and the website describes it as genital-compatible, so if your massage turns erotic you’re good to go. Again, I’d recommend that you keep it external only. This massage gel is also suitable for use in water and is compatible with silicone sex toys and latex barriers.

This is probably my favourite product in the entire Slow Sex range. It is slick without being sticky, and does not leave any nasty residue behind. As a bonus, it leaves my skin feeling lovely and moisturised (and coconut scented!) It also lasts ages, as a little bit goes a long way once it’s on the skin.

I also love that it comes in a pump bottle, which is much more user-friendly and less spillage-prone than the bottles massage oils usually come in.

Slow Sex Full Body Massage Gel retails for €19.95.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Strips

Bijoux Indiscrets oral sex strips

If you’re asking “what on earth is an oral sex strip?”, well so was I! Turns out they’re little paper-thin minty strips that are designed to go on your tongue and then melt while you’re performing oral sex. Like the Oral Sex Balm, they have a strong minty flavour (spearmint oil is one of the main ingredients.) They taste like something you’d use to brush your teeth or freshen your breath.

The sensation is… interesting. Much like the Oral Sex Balm, the main appeal is that they provide a contrast between the cooling sensation and the warmth of a mouth. However, they melt very quickly so the intense effect only lasts for maybe a minute or so. You do get some of the effect for a while afterwards as the mint lingers on your body, but you only get maybe a maximum of 5 minutes out of each strip.

They were fine, but I wasn’t blown away. I did find that they heightened sensitivity somewhat, but not to such an extent that they can make or break the experience. And to be honest, I’m going to repeat something I said above – if I’m going down on a lover, I want to taste them, not a mouthful of mint.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Strips retail for €4.95 for 7.

Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me these products to test in exchange for an honest review.

5 Sexy New Year’s Resolutions I’m Making

Belated happy 2022, folks! I completely failed to mark the occasion, but 31 December 2021 was the fifth anniversary of Coffee & Kink. What started out as a little passion project ended up completely changing my life. So whether you’ve been here since the beginning or you’re just joining me now, thank you so much for reading.

With the beginning of the year comes new challenges, new adventures, and – yes – new year’s resolutions. I don’t really believe in the “typical” resolutions, because I think they’re mostly built on false premises and values I don’t subscribe to. 

What I do believe in, though, is taking any opportunity to focus on and improve our sex lives! Whether you’re planning to buy a vibrator for the first time, switch to eco-friendly sex toys (more on why this is one of mine in a minute!), or talk to your partner about trying BDSM, I hope you’ll take time for yourself and your pleasure this year. 

To that end, here are five sexy new year’s resolutions I’m making in 2022.

Become a More Conscious Consumer

Love Not War Koi eco friendly vibrator

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my impact on the planet. I stopped eating meat several years ago, but I’ve started incorporating more vegan foods into my diet, buying locally where possible, and generally trying to approach food in a more sustainable way. I don’t have periods at the moment (praise Mirena!) but, if I start having them again, I’ve promised myself that I’ll try reuseable menstrual cups instead of pads or tampons. Of course, no-one is perfect and it’s impossible to completely mitigate one’s environmental footprint, but if we all make small steps they really can make a big difference.

One way to become a more conscious consumer, and one that is often forgotten, is in the realm of sexuality. And one of the most fun ways to do that? Buy eco-friendly sex toys!

I recently tried the Koi vibrator from Love Not War. Love Not War vibrators are made using as few materials as possible, and are constructed from silicone and recycled aluminium. There is no single-use plastic and the small amount of plastic that is necessary is recycled within the factory. It arrives in eco-friendly, brown cardboard packaging, and even the little storage pouch for your toy is made from environmentally friendly bamboo fabric. Best of all? The electronics unit works with all the interchangeable heads, which you can buy separately. So you can try lots of different sensations without needing to buy a new battery unit for each one.

Love Not War Koi sustainable vibrator

Oh, and it’s a damn good vibrator, too. The Love Not War Koi is powerful, rumbly, and has a fabulous wide head for all-over vulva stimulation.

Other ways to make your sex life more environmentally friendly include switching to ethically-made lubricants with organic ingredients, buying lingerie made from sustainable and recycled fabrics, and avoiding products with tonnes of single-use plastic packaging. Buying glass, silicone, or stainless steel toys instead of hard plastic is another great option, as is choosing rechargeable toys rather than those powered by disposable batteries. Some manufacturers, such as Lovehoney, will also recycle old sex toys so they don’t end up in landfill.

Remember to Masturbate for Fun!

“So, what, you get paid to masturbate?” people say when I tell them I test and review sex toys for a living. And… yes, kind of, but not really. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do and I’m incredibly lucky that I get paid to try out some awesome and innovative sex toys. But it’s far more than just “being paid to masturbate”.

For every toy review that appears on this site, there are hours of testing, taking notes, and sometimes discussing the product with my partner. Then there’s writing it up, proofreading and editing, taking and editing photos, creating a header image, adding tags and categories, and then promoting the post on social media once it’s live.

I love my job, but it’s still my job. This year, I want to remember that self-pleasure is supposed to be about, well, pleasure. This means taking the time to masturbate just for fun, with the toys (or lack thereof) that I feel like using, without the pressure to write about it afterwards. 

Start Dating Again

This one might be a little trickier, what with that ongoing pandemic thing, but I’m an optimist and I’m going to do my best!

Many of you may remember that I went through a truly terrible break-up in late 2021. As a result, I decided to take a long break from dating anyone except my nesting partner. This was unquestionably the right decision, as I needed time to process and heal from what happened. But I’m starting to feel like dating again might be a good thing for me.

I’m trying to keep my resolutions for 2022 squarely in the realm of “things I can actually control”. So I’m not going to promise to go on 15 dates this year, or have a girlfriend by December (if only…). But I am going to get myself back on some dating apps, flirt with some pretty humans, and maybe ask someone out if they seem like a good fit.

Take More Sexy Selfies

My body image has been a little all over the place recently. Perhaps unsurprising in these ongoing Covid times. As a result, I haven’t been taking many sexy pics recently except when I need them for lingerie reviews. I always get a good reaction when I do take them and send them to a lover, play partner, or long distance crush… and honestly, even if I don’t send them to anyone, taking them and looking at them makes me feel hot and desirable.

2022 shall be the year of the nude selfie!

Try a New Kink

What will that new kink be? I don’t know yet! But I recently read Kate Sloan’s fabulous book, 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do, and it’s given me more than a few ideas.

One of the things I love the most about sexuality is its infinite variety. Just when I think I’ve seen it all, I come across a new kink or fetish I’ve never even heard of. So maybe this year I’ll try something that’s been on my bucket list for years, or maybe I’ll end up trying a kink I don’t even know exists yet. The point is less about the specific act itself, and more about committing to a state of ongoing openness, curiosity, and adventure.

What’s on your 2022 sexy resolutions list, lovelies?

This post was sponsored by the good folks at Love Not War, an eco-conscious and sustainable toy company that also happens to make gorgeous, powerful vibrators in a range of interesting shapes and styles. All opinions are, as always, completely my own. Images are by Love Not War and used with permission.

[Mini Review] Lovehoney Apothecary “Seduce” Bubble Bath

In sex blogger land (and, presumably, any blogging niche that involves talking about products), it always seems as though Christmas is barely over and it’s almost time for Valentine’s Day. I just received my shipment of Lovehoney Valentine’s Day products this week, so I’m going to be reviewing them between now and early February to help y’all out with your V-day shopping.

Among this batch of fun things was a bottle of the Apothecary Bubble Bath in “Seduce” (there’s also one called Arouse, which I reviewed back in December).

Lovehoney Seduce Bubble Bath and Arouse Bubble Bath

Seduce Bubble Bath by Lovehoney

Seduce Bubble Bath contains the following ingredients: Aqua (Water), Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Sodium Chloride, Parfum (Fragrance), Cocamide DEA, Glycerin, Benzyl Alcohol, Methylchloroisothiazolinone, Methylisothiazolinone, Benzyl Benzoate, Coumarin Limonene.

I don’t claim to be an expert on cosmetics, and certainly not on the intricacies of various cosmetic ingredients. Some cursory Googling suggests that these are all fairly standard ingredients, found in many common household products including bath and shower products. Some of the ingredients have been the subject of safety concerns (such as Methylchloroisothiazolinone and Methylisothiazolinone, which one study seems to indicate are safe in “wash off” products in small quantities). Naturally, you should always read the label and avoid this product if you are allergic or sensitive to any of the ingredients.

Lovehoney Seduce Bubble Bath

One note of warning: as this product contains glycerin, I don’t recommend using it if you have a vagina and you’re planning to have sex or masturbate during your bath. This is because glycerin is a type of sugar, which can disrupt your body’s pH and cause yeast infections.

Lovehoney’s bubble baths contain no animal products and are therefore suitable for vegetarians and vegans.

In Use

Though I prefer showers for hygiene, I love taking baths as a way to relax, unwind, and practice self-care. So it wasn’t exactly a chore to run a hot bath and pour in a generous slug of Seduce Bubble Bath.

Seduce Bubble Bath comes in a 250ml bottle with a pink, Lovehoney-branded label. I needed about three capfuls to get some decent bubbles. My water was still nice and bubbly after about 45 minutes in the tub, though you can always add extra if you need to.

The scent is described has having top notes of orange peel and saffron, middle notes of warm patchouli and jasmine, and base notes of amber, cedar, and vanilla. I’m no perfume connoisseur, but the patchouli and jasmine came through the most strongly for me. The overall effect is zesty and energising. “Seduce” is a good name for this one because it really does smell, well, sexy. It’s the kind of stuff I’d bathe in while getting ready for a hot date or a night out at a club… or pour into a bath to share with a lover.

Seduce Bubble Bath left my skin feeling soft and moisturised. Like the Arouse Bubble Bath, though, the scent didn’t really linger much on my skin once I was out of the water.

Verdict

Lovely for winding down at the end of a long day or getting in the mood for a hot night.

While I don’t think I’d go out of my way to order this on its own, it’s a fun add-on to your Lovehoney order (or a great way to push your basket over the £40 free delivery threshold!) If you love the scent, there’s also a matching massage oil and massage/wax play candle. The full set could make a sweet Valentine’s Day gift for a lover who enjoys yummy scented things.

Seduce Bubble Bath retails for £9.99 ($12.99 US).

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product in exchange for an honest review. All views are, as always, mine!

[Toy Review] Hot Octopuss PleX with Flex

Do you all remember the Kurve vibrator from Hot Octopuss? I raved about the Kurve because of its dual “treble and bass” motors, which allow the user to customise not just the intensity level of the vibrations, but also where they fall on the buzz-rumble scale. Well, a new Hot Octopuss toy has arrived, and it uses the same tech. But this time, it’s for your butt. Meet the PleX with Flex.

What is PleX with Flex?

The PleX with Flex is a vibrating butt plug by Hot Octopuss. It measures 5.5″ in total length, of which around 5″ are insertable, and 1.7″ in diameter at the widest point. The plug sits on a wide base. As the name suggests, it’s ultra flexible, bending up to 90 degrees in any direction.

My PleX with Flex arrived packaged in Hot Octopuss’s signature, sleek black packaging with a picture of the toy on the front. In the box you’ll find your plug, a little square remote control, a branded storage pouch, a charging cable, and an instruction leaflet. I do appreciate that Hot Octopuss always include a storage bag with their toys. It’s such a small thing but it really does help a more expensive product feel like value for money.

PleX with Flex vibrating butt plug in its box

The PleX with Flex is made of smooth and body-safe matte black silicone. It is also fully waterproof, though the remote control is not. It’s rechargeable via the included USB cable.

What I Liked

By far my favourite thing about the PleX with Flex is its shape. The smooth, tapered shape makes insertion comfortable, and the ultra flexible nature of it means you can position the toy exactly how you want. I don’t have a prostate but for people who do, I’m informed that the curved shape of the PleX with Flex makes it ideal for targeted prostate pleasure.

PleX with Flex black silicone butt plug from Hot Octopuss

The PleX with Flex’s motors are also fantastic. It houses a rumbly (“bass”) motor towards the bottom of the shaft, and a buzzy (“treble”) motor towards the tip. With independent controls (we’ll talk more about the and five available pattern settings for each motor, you can create an enormous range of different experiences and sensations. Best of all, each motor is powerful. I’m not a big fan of buzz, so I eventually found that the sweet spot for me was to have the buzzy motor on low and the rumbly motor on a higher setting.

PleX with Flex vibrating prostate massager

The large base, which essentially functions as a handle, also makes it possible to thrust with this toy, if you want to. That’s unusual in a butt plug style toy. For that reason, I’d recommend this one if you’re working up to anal penetration with a penis or a larger dildo.

The PleX with Flex also isn’t too loud relative to its vibration strength. Even outside the body it’s pretty quiet, and when it’s inserted the sound is muffled still further. You might not want to use it out in public, but there’s no way you’ll wake the neighbours!

The PleX with Flex is also easy to keep clean. I recommend using a body-safe sterilising wipe then wash it thoroughly in warm water and gentle soap.

Anything I Didn’t Love?

The PleX with Flex is fundamentally a well designed toy. Its shape is dreamy and its motors are excellent. With that said, there are a few things I think could be improved.

My biggest complaint lies in the buttons and controls. Placing the controls on the bottom of the toy’s base is an odd choice for this one. This makes it impossible to see the buttons when the toy is inserted. So you have to either rely on touch alone (possible but not ideal), ask your partner to change the setting for you if you’re using the toy together, or take it out to change the setting and then reinsert. None of which is ideal.

PleX with Flex silicone prostate massager buttons

I could forgive this if the remote control was brilliantly designed, but it’s… not. Hot Octopuss’s remote controls are inexplicably tiny. I think they’re going for discretion but, unless you’re going to use the toy in public (which, as I’ve said, I don’t recommend) I’d rather have a slightly bigger control that’s easier to use. Being so small, it’s difficult to hold and easy to lose. I much, much prefer the wrist strap design offered with toys like the Pulse Solo Lux.

Remote for remote control vibrating butt plug PleX with Flex

The battery life is also a bit of an issue. It lasts about an hour on a full charge. But with a charging time of 4 hours, I would have liked its run time to be a little longer.

From a personal experience perspective, another downside is that the PleX with Flex is slightly too big. It took me a long-ass (ha) time to write up this review, partly because my butt is rarely up for taking something of this size. This is less an objective criticism, admittedly, than a personal preference. I’d really love to see them release a mini version alongside this one, for those of us who prefer a smaller anal toy. So if any Hot Octopuss designers are reading…

The PleX with Flex isn’t really a leave-in toy. Given the size of the base and the location of the buttons, sitting or walking around all day with it in isn’t really possible. This isn’t really a downside as such, just something to be aware of. This is a toy

Verdict

It’s a mixed bag for me with this one. Ultimately, the PleX with Flex is a toy that meets specific needs well. If you’re looking for a butt toy with strong motors and an ability to experiment with buzz/rumble as well as power level and patterns, this is the one for you. I also recommend it if you’re looking for a vibrating anal toy you can thrust with. On the other hand, if you’re looking for something more akin to an “insert and leave in” anal toy, this is not it.

At £89.95, it’s not a cheap toy. While its body-safe materials, well-designed shape, and powerful motors work in its favour, there are notable downsides that make it hard to give an unqualified YES to this one.

PleX with Flex banner from Hot Octopuss sex toys

The PleX with Flex is available from Hot Octopuss, who sent me the product in exchange for an honest review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.