Sex Toy Companies That Don’t Use Gendered Marketing

Gendered marketing is one of my biggest bugbears in the sex toy space, and it’s almost impossible to get away from. Everywhere you look, you’ll see sex toys categorised as “for men” or “for women.” But we should all know by now that body parts don’t define gender. Not everyone with a vulva is a woman, not everyone with a penis is a man, and myriad genders exist between and beyond those two binary options.

(If you think gender is binary or that physiology alone defines gender, then erm… you’re probably in the wrong place.)

And look, I even understand why companies do this, up to a point. For many, it’s primarily an SEO concern. “Sex toys for men” gets almost half a million Google searches per month at the time of writing, while “sex toys for women” gets close to 100,000. “Sex toys for penis” and “sex toys for clit” get a relatively paltry ~5000 and ~500 searches, respectively (and “vulva” doesn’t even get a look-in, but that’s a rant for another day.)

Even so, though, continuing to aggressively gender sex toys contributes directly towards exclusion and inequality in an industry that is already… not great on those things a lot of the time.

With that in mind, I wanted to tell you about some of my favourite adult retailers and manufacturers that do not use gendered marketing.

SheVibe

I love SheVibe’s playful, comic book-inspired aesthetic, and I love their gender-neutral approach even more. Toys are categorised by type and body part, not by gender. So you’ll find categories like “vibrators”, “dildos”, and “penis toys”.

SheVibe has a huge and extensive product catalogue so whatever you’re looking for, you’ll find something for you here.

Godemiche

This small, UK-based purveyor of colourful silicone sexiness categorises their toys by type – dildos, hump toys, masturbators, and so on – rather than by gender. The Grind Ring products (some of my all-time faves!), for example, are described as being for “anyone with a clitoris.”

If you’re looking for quality body-safe silicone sex toys in a bigger range of colours and blends than you’ve ever seen in your life, then look no further.

Peepshow Toys

Peepshow Toys logo

Peepshow Toys has been a major player in the body-safe sex toys space for a long time now, and their extensive range just keeps going from strength to strength.

They divide their toys by type and then sub-divide them below that. So for example, you’ll see “dildos” then sub-categories of “realistic”, “non realistic”, “suction cup”, and so on. It’s easy to find exactly what you want with no gendered marketing to be seen.

Arosum

Arosum logo

I’ve only recently started working with Arosum, and I’m a big fan. They categorise their toys by body part (vulva, penis, or anus) then sub-categorise them by type (“clitoris vibrators,” “masturbators,” etc.)

Arosum puts the LGBTQ+ community front and centre and designs their products with us in mind. It’s so refreshing to see diverse images of smiling queer people and blog content covering topics like the history of Pride and LGBTQ+ workplace discrimination.

The Pleasure Garden

The Pleasure Garden is a small business and the UK’s inclusive sex shop. They believe that everyone deserves pleasure and they only stock body-safe products. Products are categorised variably by type and by body part (“vibrators”, “cock and ball toys,” and so on.)

They even have a separate “gender expression” category filled with products designed specifically with trans and non-binary people in mind!

Le Wand

Le Wand understand that wand vibrators are for everyone, and sell wands (and their attachments) without gendering them. Their blog posts and guides are de-gendered for the most part, too – you’ll see topics like “Anal Play for Vulva Owners.”

In 2019, they were even awarded “Progressive Company of the Year” at the Xbiz awards.

Love Not War

Love Not War is an innovative sustainable sex toy company selling quality silicone vibrator heads that all work with the same interchangeable battery base. This means you only need one set of electronics to enjoy all their toys. They use FDA-grade silicone, recycled aluminium, and eco-friendly packaging.

Love Not War doesn’t gender their toys, instead indicating what body part they are most suited to – the clitoris or G-spot, for example.

Stockroom

Stockroom is actually primarily known as a BDSM gear supplier, but also offers an impressive array of sex toys in their catalogue. You’ll see wording like “cock and ball toys” rather than “toys for men.”

Annoyingly, some of their kink gear – most notably their extensive range of chastity devices and suction pumps – is categorised by gender rather than body part. For this reason, I debated whether or not to include them. But their sex toys, at least, are de-gendered.

FYI: this post contains affiliate links.

Five Ways to Mix Up Your Masturbation Routine

If, like me, you masturbate regularly, you might sometimes feel like your masturbation routine is getting a bit stale. That just means it’s time to change things up! The good news that there are loads of things you can do to keep your solo sex time interesting.

Try some of these suggestions…

Experiment with different kinds of touch

Do you always touch yourself in much the same way? Try experimenting with touching yourself in different places, in different ways, and at different speeds and levels of pressure.

Don’t just go straight for your genitals. Try touching your nipples, inner thighs, stomach, arms or anywhere else that feels good.

Take your time, and pay attention to your body’s authentic responses.

Read some new erotica or watch some new porn

No judgement if you always gravitate to the same scene or the same story to get yourself off! But trying out some new erotic stimulus can be a great way to keep yourself out of a masturbation rut.

Try joining a feminist porn site or checking out some new sexy erotica. Keep an open mind and you might be surprised what turns you on!

Treat yourself to a new sex toy

Do you always masturbate with your hands or with the same toy? If you can, treat yourself to a new toy that intrigues you. Sex toys are one of the best ways to experience a world of different sensations all by yourself.

Try a powerful wand, a rumbly bullet, a silicone stroker or a prostate massager… or whatever most takes your fancy!

Try a new lube

If you’re not already using lube for your masturbation, give it a go! Lube isn’t just for partnered sex and it isn’t just for people who struggle with dryness. Lube keeps everything slippery wet and friction-free, making for a more fun and pleasurable experience. It can also add different sensations, keeping your masturbation routine varied.

I recommend a high quality water-based lube for beginners, but you can also experiment with silicone lube (don’t use this with silicone toys), oil lube (not latex barrier compatible), or warming and tingling lubes.

Have phone or cyber sex

If you have a lover you don’t live with, this one is easy. But if you’re single and feeling brave, there are chat sites, cam sites and phone sex lines you can use to enjoy sexy chat with another person while you get yourself off.

Remember: tip well if you’re using a paid site, and never give out any personally identifying details!

What have you done to mix up your masturbation routine?

The Masturbation Monday logo, for a post about mixing up your masturbation routine

The Masturbation Monday meme is run by Kayla Lords. Click the logo to see what everyone else is getting off to this week, and please buy me a coffee if you find my work useful! Plus don’t forget it’s #MasturbationMonth and I’m working with Lovehoney to bring you sexy content all month long.

[Toy Review] Satisfyer Luxury High Fashion

I’m going to come out and say it: I don’t understand the point of the new Satisfyer Luxury line. They’re basically the same Satisfyer pressure wave stimulators we know and love, but with additional fancyness added. The Satisfyer Luxury High Fashion landed on my doorstep along with its sister product, the Prêt-à-Porter, back in December and I’ve been wondering what to say about it ever since.

The basic MO for this range – which also includes the Haute Couture – seems to be “same basic tech, but fancier exteriors and random fashion words on the box.” I honestly don’t entirely get it.

So what makes this one different?

The Satisfyer High Fashion in my hand

The Satisfyer Luxury High Fashion is a pressure-wave clitoral stimulator with added vibrating function. For anyone who is unfamiliar with this type of toy (also sometimes referred to as “suction toys,”) they feature a nozzle which sits over the clitoris and provides stimulation via rapid pulses of air. Sometimes, as in this instance, the nozzles also vibrate.

The High Fashion is, as far as I can tell, an almost identical copy of the Satisfyer Pro 2 Vibration, but in a different exterior. They are the same basic size, shape and have the same button layout. Compare:

The Satisfyer High Fashion and Satisfyer Pro 2 Vibration side by side

The High Fashion is near-identical to the Pro 2 Vibration not only in appearance but in function, right down to the 10 vibration settings and 11 levels of pressure wave power.

So the difference is literally the aesthetic. And I’ll give it this, the High Fashion is a very aesthetically pleasing product! It has a brushed aluminium exterior that looks high-end and stylish. The packaging is similarly fancy and reminds me of the kind of box that a bottle of fancy perfume might come in.

Other important bits and bobs

In the box, along with your toy, you’ll find the charging cable, a multi-language instruction booklet, and a black velvety drawstring storage pouch.

The Satisfyer High Fashion with charging cable, instruction booklet and storage pouch

The Satisfyer Luxury High Fashion is USB rechargeable via a magnetic cable. This can be a bit finnicky, so make sure that the flashing charging light is on once you’ve plugged it in. This toy is fully waterproof, for bath or shower fun if that’s your thing.

The nozzle, i.e. the main part that comes into contact with the body, is made of soft and squishy – and body-safe – silicone. I did notice that the silicone of the nozzle is significantly softer and squisher than previous Satisfyer products. Aluminium is also a body-safe material for sex toys, so you can use the Satisfyer High Fashion with confidence. As always, water-based lube is your friend and makes everything better.

One thing I did find disappointing is that the nozzle is not removeable, unlike on other Satisfyer toys. This makes a really thorough clean more difficult (you cannot boil-sterilise, for example) as well as removing the possibility of using different nozzles if sharing the toy with a partner.

The noise level is reasonable. I did the usual “toy on bed, close bedroom door test” and, with the toy on full power, could hear only a faint hum. This one is unlikely to wake your roommates unless you have paper-thin walls! It does feature what they rather grandly call “Whisper Mode,” but as far as I can tell that just means “it’s much quieter when on the lowest setting.” Which, duh.

In use

To be fair to the Satisfyer High Fashion, it did make me orgasm – hard. The shape, angle and clit-friendly squishyness of the head is well-designed, and the wider rim of the nozzle also means that the vibrations deliver indirect pleasure around the clitoris while the pressure waves stimulate it directly.

The vibrations themselves are very buzzy and not particulatly strong. They’re a fine addition to the main event – the suction nozzle – but by themselves would do almost nothing. Having played with the High Fashion both with and without the vibrations, I can honestly take or leave them.

The button placement is intuitive and sensible, in the middle of the handle on the back, and the buttons easy to press. I appreciate the up-and-down controls for the suction nozzle, but would have appreciated the same for the vibrate function. Being able to control the vibrations and the suction nozzle separately is nice, but having to scroll through all 10 vibration functions is annoying and this could be easily solved with a “back” button.

I usually masturbate on my back with my legs apart, but find that I get much more pleasure out of pressure wave toys by keeping my legs closer together. This position means that the whole of my clit is engulfed in the nozzle of the toy. Your mileage may vary, of course, but if you’re new to this type of toy you’ll want to experiment with positioning to see what works for you.

Final impressions

Overall, a decent and perfectly satisfactory toy. But ultimately a near carbon copy of an earlier model, put in a fancy exterior and sold for two and a half times the price. (The Satisfyer Pro 2 Vibration has an RRP of $69.99, while the High Fashion retails at an eye-watering $149.99.)

Unless you’re really into fancy aesthetics and luxury packaging, save money and get the Pro 2 Vibration instead.

Thank you to Satisfyer for providing me with this product to review. Affiliate links appear in this post and purchasing through them supports my work at no extra cost to you! All views, as ever, are my own.

[Toy Review] Womanizer Starlet 2

Despite saying I was going to do substantially fewer product reviews, interesting things to try out keep finding their way to me! Remember when I said I’d been wanting to get my hands on a Womanizer toy for ages and hadn’t had the opportunity? Well, my cup runneth over, so to speak – as I have yet another new Womanizer product to tell you all about!

Suction Toys

I wrote recently about whether or not I think all suction-based clitoral stimulators are basically variations on the same theme. The conclusion I came to was… sort of. The sensation provided by these toys is remarkably consistent across models and even across brands. However, unique design features can really make or break each specific model. Read on to find out whether I thought the Starlet 2 was a hit or a miss.

Starlet 2: A little more down-to-Earth…

After the high-end luxury with price tags to match that defines the Womanizer Premium and Duo, the Starlet 2 is a simpler product – more aimed at the everyday consumer, rather than at serious toy enthusiasts with serious money to spare. The Starlet 2 retails at the much more affordable £69.99 (that’s $79.99 to my American friends!) and is an upgrade of the original Starlet model.

It’s a petite toy, only 5 inches in total length, and very light. I have tiny hands and would have preferred the body of the toy to be slightly longer for ease of use, so bear that in mind if you’re a person with big hands. However, for those who find holding larger or heavier toys difficult, the compact nature of this model could be an advantage for you.

The Starlet 2 is USB rechargeable, requiring 30 minutes’ charge for 30 minutes’ playtime. I’m really not impressed with the battery life here. 30 minutes, for me, is often not even long enough to reach orgasm – and the same is true for a lot of people with vulvas. When other toys can do two or three hours on a full charge, this is a major negative in my view.

The Starlet 2 is also fully waterproof, if playing in the bath is your thing. It comes in two colours – a pinkish-orange called “coral”, and a deep blue.

Body-safety, care and cleaning

The Womanizer Starlet 2 sex toy in coral resting on a white sheet

The Womanizer Starlet 2 is made of hard ABS plastic with a silicone nozzle. Like all Womanizer products, this makes it completely body-safe.

The silicone nozzle is removable, so you can remove it and sterilise it in the usual ways – boiling water or a 10% bleach solution. You can also buy replacement nozzles, which are your best bet if you’re going to be sharing the toy with a partner, as it’s not really possible to use a suction toy with a barrier.

Pro tip: swirl a bit of water-based lube around the rim of the nozzle, and put some on your clit too. Lube makes everything better!

Controls & Settings

The Starlet 2 has four possible speeds. This is far fewer than the higher-end models: the Classic has 8 speeds, and the Premium has a massive 12.

The Womanizer Starlet 2 sex toy in coral on a white sheet

Honestly, I think for most people, 4 speeds is probably enough? They’re not as finely graded as they could be, true, but they allow for a steady increase in intensity. But I’m aware I am saying that as someone whose usual play-style with toys is “whack it on the top setting and leave it there.”

The controls are two simple buttons: On/Up and Off/Down. No complaints here – they’re sensibly located in the centre of the main body of the toy, and they’re easy to press. If anything, the Off/Down button could do with being a bit bigger – it’s smaller than the Up button and I see no good reason for this. Overall, though, I’ll give the Starlet 2 points for simple and sensible controls.

So was the Starlet 2 a rising star?

I had high hopes for this toy after my amazing experiences with the Premium and the Lovehoney/Womanizer Pro40. Unfortunately, it just really missed the mark for me in practice.

Due to the shape, and how little the nozzle sticks out from the body of the toy, I found it almost impossible to get the right angle against my body. I tried holding the toy in multiple different ways, but all of them either left a gap between part of the nozzle and my body (thus meaning my clit got much less stimulation) or required contorting my hand/arm in uncomfortable ways. A longer handle and a more pronounced nozzle would go a long way to mitigating this issue.

I also really noticed the relative lack of power at the higher settings, compared to other suction toys.

I tried this toy three times, and was not able to orgasm with it on any occasion.

So do I recommend it?

Unfortunately I don’t. I was hopeful about the Starlet 2, but it didn’t live up to expectations for me at all. It’s not egregiously bad or anything, but I was left unimpressed and I doubt I’ll use it again. I recommend splashing out another £30 if you can and getting the Womanizer/Lovehoney Pro40 instead, which is just so much better.

Thanks to Womanizer for sending me this product in exchange for an honest review. All views are my own and images are by me. Please use the affiliate links within this post if you want to make a purchase; commission helps to keep this site going!

[Toy Review] The Godemiche Offbeat

I’ve been sitting on this one for a long damn time, in part because it took us so long to get to actually testing it. But after giving it a second trial run this morning, I am ready to tell you all about the Offbeat from Godemiche.

It’s no secret that I fucking love Godemiche. This UK-based team run by husband-and-wife duo Adam and Monika have been making gorgeous, hand-poured silicone dildos for a number of years now… and now they’ve branched out into penis toys as well! (And yes, their marketing copy refers to the Offbeat as a “toy for the penis”, not a “toy for men” – hooray! I wish all companies would go this inclusive route).

The Godemiche Offbeat sitting on a red laptop keyboard.

Let’s go OffBeat…

The OffBeat is a tube-shaped silicone masturbator sleeve. Inside it has a simple bobble texture, while the outside has a gentle ripple. Each one has the company name stamped along the rim at the bottom, and the “G” Godemiche logo on the side. Each OffBeat comes in its own little storage tub – it looks like a miniature poster tube. This useful addition makes for easy and hygienic storage.

The Godemiche Offbeat lying on my desk

Sizes and colours and customising, oh my!

OffBeat comes in two sizes: Grande is 5cm in length, and Venti is 10cm in length. (And those who understand will know why these size names made me laugh!) Both sizes are 3cm in diameter. We received the longer Venti version for review. Even this larger size is compact and lightweight. Easy to throw in your bag for a date or a filthy weekend away!

Which size you pick is up to your preferences. If you prefer plenty of concentrated stimulation around the head of your penis, I suggest going for the smaller Grande. Godemiche point out that the Grande is also a great companion to oral sex. Simply tease the head of the penis for a while, then slide the Grande down the shaft and use it to stimulate the base of the penis while giving your partner head, simulating the feeling of a deeper blowjob. The longer Venti, on the other hand, is ideal if you prefer longer strokes and plenty of up-and-down motion. If you’re looking for something that comes closer to simulating penetration, you definitely want to go for the Venti.

The Godemiche Offbeat on a green carpet

One of my favourite things about Godemiche is the sheer variety of colours and styles on offer. Whatever colour toy you want, they can probably make it for you! I have a one-of-a-kind bi pride Ambit that I bought in a charity auction and it’s one of my favourite toys ever. I also bought a gorgeous red Adam in their last sale.

The OffBeat is available in dozens of colours. Ours is pearlescent gold and it’s absolutely beautiful.

A refreshing body-safe offering

Sex toy options for people with penises are often woefully lacking. This is gradually changing as awesome companies like Hot Octopuss, Fun Factory and now Godemiche start offering brilliant cock toys. Unfortunately, most of the strokers on the market are still made of porous and sometimes toxic materials such as jelly, rubber, PVC, TPE/TPR and the notoriously vague “Realistic Feel”.

So of course I am delighted that the OffBeat is made of 100% silicone. This means it is completely body-safe: non-toxic and non-porous.

The Godemiche Offbeat on a purple dildo sticking to some black bathroom wall tiles
Featured Stunt Dildo is the Lovehoney 7 Inch Suction Cup Silicone Dildo

To clean your OffBeat after use, turn it inside out and wash it thoroughly with warm water and gentle soap. Take extra care to ensure that no fluids remain trapped between the bobbles. You can also sterilise your stroker by sticking it in a pan of boiling water for 10 minutes, or running it through the dishwasher in the top rack.

If you want to share the toy with a non fluid-bonded partner, it’s easy to give it a wash between uses or you can just wear a condom, which shouldn’t impede the toy’s performance in any way.

For maximum comfort and pleasure, use a good quality water-based lube. I recommend slathering plenty of lube inside the stroker and also putting some directly on your penis.

So how does it feel?

Now, obviously I don’t have a dick, so I turned to my trusty stunt-cock Mr CK to help me out with this one. His reaction when I lubed up the toy and slid it onto his cock was instantaneous. Apparently the bobbles on the inside of the toy provided a good amount of friction and sensation without needing to grip very hard at all. This may make it a good choice for people who find gripping hard during masturbation difficult, such as those who suffer from pain in their hands. I certainly found it made pleasuring him for a decent length of time easier.

The Godemiche Offbeat on the side of a bath, around a purple dildo

Mr CK also explained that one of the things he likes about this toy is that it is so simple but really makes masturbation feel substantially different from usual. He likened it to the difference between wanking with your dominant vs non-dominant hand, or the difference between masturbating yourself and having someone else do it for you. Basically, if you’re looking to change up your usual masturbation routine, grab yourself one of these!

The gentle ripple shape of the outside of the sleeve means it sits comfortably in the hand, a finger in each dip. We also tried the toy with me pleasuring him with it, and found this was equally true whichever of us was doing the work.

Size-wise, this is a flexible toy. It stretches well and then “hugs” the penis once it’s inside, so would suit a wide variety of penis lengths and girths.

An absolute hit. I think this one is going to live in the “easy access basket” for things we use all the time.

(The Easy Access Basket just needs its own damn post, doesn’t it?)

Do we recommend it?

We really like this toy! It’s simple, highly effective, body-safe, affordable and should suit a wide range of bodies.

OffBeat retails for prices starting from £29.99 (Grande) and £35.99 (Venti.)

Thanks to Godemiche for sending us the OffBeat in exchange for an honest review. All views in this post are our own and images were taken by me. This post contains a couple of affiliate links, which send a small commission my way when you buy from them. Links to Godemiche are non-affiliated.

[Toy Review] Ruse Jammy Silicone Dildo by Blush Novelties

Can we acknowledge for a second how much great stuff Blush Novelties have been coming out with lately? From the best bullet to come out in ages to their brilliant and colourful Pride line, this New York City based company is really one to watch. They’re already doing brilliant things and I suspect they’ll do more. Plus, their philosophy is “that all bodies are beautiful, worthy, and deserving of celebration and pleasure”. Can’t argue with that!

This new offering, the Ruse Jammy silicone dildo, was kindly sent to me by Peepshow Toys. It is also available at SheVibe.

A sizeable realistic offering!

The Ruse Jammy is definitely a dildo for size-lovers. It’s 7.5″ long with a full 2″ in girth. For reference, the average factory-installed penis is around 5.1″ long and 1.4″ wide when erect. This is a sizeable toy! I gulped when I first took it out, but I’m unafraid in my quest to put things in my vagina and write about it for you… even things that make me go “eek!” when I see them.

The Ruse Jammy is made of 100% silicone, and has a suction cup. This means you can attach it to a hard surface – a wall, floor, bath/shower screen – and it also means it’s harness-compatible (why not pair with this fab Blush harness-brief I tested recently?) and anal safe.

The Ruse Jammy is also realistic in design. It has a veiny shaft, a subtle natural curve and a pronounced coronal ridge and  head. There’s even realistic-looking skin texturing and a meatus. This is a very well-designed realistic style toy! Of course, if realistic colouring is your thing you’ll want to look elsewhere – the Ruse Jammy comes in purple or jet black rather than anything resembling a lifelike skin tone. The silicone has a lovely smooth, satiny finish which feels wonderful to the touch.

Safety and care

This is a 100% silicone toy which means it’s completely body-safe. The best way to sterilise your silicone toys is to pop them in a pot of boiling water or the top shelf of the dishwasher. In between uses, wash with warm water and gentle soap or use a body-safe sterile wipe.

The Ruse Jammy is condom-compatible, but given the size you’ll want to use large condoms. Water-based lube is, as ever, recommended for silicone toys.

So how did I get on?

I’m not a size Queen, friends. I’m just not. I sometimes enjoy larger things inside of me (fisting is fun!) but more often than not, an average sized cock or small/medium dildo is more than enough to keep me satisfied.

I also have to be careful with depth of penetration, because I have an IUD and anything touching my cervix is painful. So realistically, taking this dildo all the way inside me simply wasn’t going to happen. Even so, I decided to give it a good go and see how I got on!

I tried it with one of my partners during a play session. With plenty of lube, we managed to get about half the shaft inside me relatively comfortably. It gave me a nice full feeling which I did very much enjoy. Once I’d got used to it, my partner tried fucking me with it. This, unfortunately, very quickly led to “Ow! Ouch! No! Too much!”

For me, the best use for this toy is to let it just sit inside me while I do other things such as clitoral play. Thrusting with a toy of this size is not something I find pleasurable.

So do I recommend it?

To size lovers, yes. If you’ve played with smaller dildos and just found they weren’t quite enough for you, the Ruse Jammy is a great and affordable larger option. Considering some toys this size run to £100 or more, the $33 (about £26) for a large silicone toy of this quality is an absolute steal.

I don’t recommend this one for beginners, or those who don’t know they can take large penetrative toys comfortably. But I wholeheartedly endorse it for length/girth lovers and those looking for a realistic toy at an affordable price.

Thanks to Peepshow Toys for sending me the Ruse Jammy to review! If you buy through my affiliate links, I make a small commission at no extra cost to you.

[Toy Review] Temptasia Harness Briefs & Jezebel Dildo

I’ve had these harness briefs and this dildo in my “to review” pile for ages.

Unfortunately, I don’t have sex with vulva owners super often, and the dildo is a little too big for my current pegging adventures with my penis-owning partner, so it took a while for me to have chance to test them. However, I’ve now tested from both the giving and receiving perspective, so I feel prepared to tell you all about them!

I’m reviewing these items together, even though you purchase them separately, because I received them – and tested them – as a pair. Do I think it’s a match made in sexy heaven? Read on to find out…

Temptasia: Affordable Delights

I’ve previously reviewed Temptasia’s jewelled butt plug, which you may recall I was really impressed with, and overall I’m a big fan of this product line from Blush Novelties. Everything is body-safe and great quality for the price.

Temptasia Harness Briefs

I LOVE these briefs! The material is a soft and stretchy black cotton/spandex blend, which makes them super comfortable against the skin. They also didn’t leave me over hot or unnecessarily sweaty.

They come equipped with a 1.5″ O-ring (slightly stretchy) which can accommodate most harness-compatible dildos or packers. There are also two strategically-placed inner pockets where you can put a vibrating bullet, ideal for giving some clitoral stimulation to the wearer.

Though I’m cis and pretty femme, I really enjoyed the masculine aesthetic of these boxer-style harness briefs. As they’re comfy enough for day to day wear, they’re ideal for trans-masculine folks who want to wear a packer as well as for play purposes. I enjoyed pairing them with my glitteriest, most ridiculously colourful femme dildo, because fucking with gendered norms is my jam.

They’re even machine washable! Just stick them on a gentle 30 degrees cycle and air-dry, and you’re good to go.

A note on sizing:

The product listing helpfully contains the waist circumference of each size of briefs. However, as they’re super stretchy, don’t worry if you’re between sizes or a bit over or under.

Mine are a size Medium. My play partner wears a UK 8 and she was able to wear these comfortably, though they were a touch big for her. I’m currently wearing a UK 16 and the Medium was, though wearable, a little on the small side. I’d be more comfortable in a size up. I’m actually seriously considering buying another pair in Large because I love them so much.

Broadly, I’d recommend a Small if you’re a size 6-10, Medium for 12-14, Large for 16-18, and XL for 18-20 (all UK sizes, I don’t know how that translates across the pond!) Sadly, XL is the largest size they go up to.

Jezebel Silicone Dildo

I was given the choice of three dildos with my Temptasia harness briefs, and I chose the Jezebel – in part for the beautiful red colour! It’s a gorgeous bright crimson, and the base is a heart shape. Cuteness galore!

The Jezebel is a 6.1″ long (5.3″ insertable) dildo with a diameter of 1.5″ and a gentle curve, making it ideal for g-spot stimulation. The flared suction-cup base makes it ideal for harness play, for sticking to surfaces for hands free fun, and even for anal play.

The Jezebel is made of 100% smooth, body-safe silicone. Clean with a sterile medical wipe or gentle soap and water, and stick it in a pan of boiling water or in the top rack of the dishwasher to completely sterilise. It’s latex and non-latex condom compatible, and will play best with water-based lube.

How do they play together?

Brilliantly! The positioning of the Jezebel dildo inside the Temptasia harness briefs was perfect for g-spot stimulation (as the receiver) and easy positioning and thrusting (as the giver). These items were clearly designed with use together in mind.

Do I recommend them?

Yes! This is the most comfortable and user-friendly strap on harness I’ve ever tried, and these items pair perfectly together. And at $29.99 for the briefs and $29.99 for the dildo, you really can’t go far wrong!

Thank you to Peepshow Toys for sending me these products to review. As ever, all views are my own. If you make a purchase through any of the affiliate links in this post, I make a small commission.

[Toy Review] Blush Novelties Exposed Nocturnal Lipstick Bullet Vibrator

It feels a bit sacrilegious to say this, but I think I’ve found a bullet vibrator I like more than the hallowed We-Vibe Tango. And it’s an unassuming little thing from Blush Novelties that retails at the shockingly reasonable price of $39.99 (about £33 for my UKreaders). Meet the Exposed Nocturnal “lipstick bullet,” which was kindly sent to me by Peepshow Toys.

Details and Dimensions

The Exposed Nocturnal lipstick buillet vibrator

The Exposed Nocturnal bullet is 4″ long in total and has a dimension of 0.9″. It’s shaped, as the advertising copy implies, like a lipstick – a cylindrical body leading to a gently tapered tip with one flat edge. I really like this shape for clitoral vibrators, because it gives you so many options. You can use the tip, the flat edge or the whole shaft, depending on how pinpoint you like your vibrations.

The Exposed Nocturnal is waterproof, submersible, and USB-rechargeable. It comes in four colour-ways, three of which can be described as variations on “pink,” and the fourth (called “Sugar Plum”) is purple. The colours are sort of shimmery in quality, which is really attractive.

Functionality & Interface

The Exposed Nocturnal lipstick bullet vibrator.

The Exposed Nocturnal bullet has a simple two-button user interface built into the base (which is also where the magnetic charging points are). You hold down the + button to switch on, use the + and – buttons to navigate the various settings, and hold down the – button to switch off.

This is one of the areas where this toy really comes out ahead of the Tango, as well as most of the lower priced toys on the market – you can cycle either way through the settings! Gone up a notch and decided it’s too intense? No worries, you can skip straight back down again without cycling all the way through.

My only real complaint, and it’s a minor one, is that the buttons and markings on them are so small that it can be hard to see which is which in low light. I would also have liked a travel lock, but you can’t have everything.

Body-Safe and Easy to Clean

The Exposed Nocturnal bullet is made of body-safe ABS plastic, which is non-porous and non-toxic. I really enjoy hard plastic as a toy material, because it’s so firm that it doesn’t dampen down the strength of the vibrations at all.

This toy is also a breeze to clean. Use a body-safe medical wipe, or some gentle soap and warm water – it’s fully submersible! Oil-based, silicone-based, or water-based lubes are all fine with ABS plastic toys.

For extra protection if you’re sharing your toys, pop a condom over it or clean it thoroughly between users.

In Use: Power for Days!

Power is always the crunch point for me, when it comes to whether I like a toy or not. Basically, I want power and lots of it! And ohhhh boy, did the Exposed Nocturnal bullet deliver in this area.

It has 10 settings: five constant speeds and five patterns. Mr C&K was stunned when I switched this toy on to show him its power, then said “and that’s the LOWEST setting!” It’s got less pure rumble than the Tango, but no less power. (If the Tango is a 9 on a 1-10 scale of rumbliness, this toy is about a 7.5). Starting out at a low rumble and building up to what I can only describe as a tiny power tool, make no mistake: this baby is extremely powerful. I can come reliably, in only a few minutes, with this toy on the lowest setting – which is practically unheard of for me.

I should mention that it’s a little on the louder side. The volume isn’t unreasonable for the level of power, but it’s not a good choice if you need near-silent. (It does, however, pass the “can Mr C&K hear Amy wanking from downstairs when she’s in the bedroom with the door closed?” test. He could not).

In conclusion: the best bullet I’ve ever tried.

And I do not say this lightly! This toy is in-fucking-credible for the price. If you need power but you’re on a limited budget, or if you’re looking for a discreet little vibe to take on your travels with you, look no further.

Let me say it again: This. toy. is. under. $40. Next time anyone tells you that you can’t get a body-safe product without shelling out hundreds, point them to this post.

Thanks to Peepshow for sending me the Blush Novelties Exposed Nocturnal lipstick bullet to review. Links in this post are affiliate links and if you use them, I will make a small commission. As ever, all opinions my own.

[Toy Review] Avant Pride P4 Power Play Silicone Butt Plug

Pride month may now be over, but Blush’s Avant Pride line lives on! Besides, it’s never a bad time of year to plaster your favourite pride flag all over everything, including your sex toys. As well as the Power Play plug, they also make an array of other themed pride flag toys.

The leather pride flag, designed in 1989, was originally primarily used by the gay leather community. In recent years, however, it has come to represent leather culture – and general BDSM community – more widely. The flag features horizontal lines of black, blue and white, and a small red heart in the upper left. The Avant “Power Play” plug’s colour scheme is based upon this flag. The effect is striking, with a lovely masculine-of-centre aesthetic that is quite different from anything else in my collection.

Specs ‘n’ Stats…

The Power Play plug is quite large in size. With 4.75 inches in total length (4.25″ insertable) and a 1.5″ diameter at the widest point, it’s not a plug for total beginners to anal play. If you’re brand new, I suggest looking at something like the Temptasia silicone crystal plug in a small or the Blush Luxe Beginners’ Kit to start you off. (Look out for my upcoming post on the best toys for anal play novices, too!)

Instead of the more traditional round base, the Power Play plug has a wide, t-bar shaped base. It also has a short and wide neck, which is only a little narrower than the biggest part of the plug and wider than the top.

The Power Play plug retails for $30 (about £23). I stand by my previous statement that I can’t believe the value of this whole range. Never believe anyone who tells you that you can’t have safe and quality toys on a budget!

The body-safe goodness you’ve come to expect

You know that if Peepshow are stocking it, it’s going to be a quality and body-safe product! The Power Play plug is silicone, which is non-porous. (Whyyyyyy do companies make any toys, but especially anal toys for fuck’s sake, out of porous materials)!? It’s also non-toxic. As it has no motor, the best way to clean your plug is to toss it in a pan of boiling water for ten minutes or so.

Many people don’t think of this, but butt plugs are actually an ideal shape to be condom-compatible. You don’t need to use a barrier if you’re not sharing the toy or have sterilised it between uses, but if you’re sharing it with a partner you’re going to want to cover it up. Smaller size condoms are best for most butt plugs. As ever, I only recommend water-based lube with silicone toys, and I’m going to take this opportunity to give a little plug to my favourite anal lube of all time – Sliquid Sassy.

In Use

This toy is on the challenging side for me. I’ve taken toys this size and even a little bigger in the past (as well as having done anal sex with an above-average bio cock,) but it takes some working up to take something this size in my ass.

I used it after warming myself up with a clitoral orgasm (thanks to the trusty love of my life for that!) With plenty of lube, it went in reasonably comfortably. The thing I love the most about this toy is the feel of the material. The silicone is really soft, squishy and malleable, which feels wonderful and is super comfortable in use. I don’t think I’ve ever used a body-safe plug as squishy as this one. If super rigid toys turn you off, the Power Play plug could be a really good choice for you.

I really like the shape of the base. If you spin it the right way around so that the t-bar base sits parallel with your butt crack, it’s super comfortable. One of the most challenging things about plug wear, for me, is the chafing of the edges of a round base against my butt cheeks. No such problem with this one.

Unfortunately, there was one big issue with this plug that I couldn’t seem to solve: it won’t stay in! Whatever position I was in, even when it was inside as far as it could possibly go, the moment I removed my hand it just slipped out. I am inclined to attribute this to the shape of the neck, which is too short and too wide to clench around sufficiently to keep the plug in. The beauty of a more traditionally shaped butt plug neck is that your ass takes in the toy and then effectively closes around the plug’s neck, keeping it inside.

Do I recommend it?

Depends what you’re using it for. If you’re looking for a plug for keeping in, unfortunately I cannot recommend this one. I suggest you look for something with a longer and more pronounced neck for this purpose.

However, if you’re looking for a plug to thrust with, or to use as part of a play session where you won’t need to leave it in (building up to a penis or larger dildo, perhaps) then I can heartily recommend this one for its super soft squishy silicone, excellent price, and cute design.

Thank you to Peepshow for sending me the Avant Pride P4 Power Play Plug to review. If you purchase through my affiliate links, I make a small commission. As ever, all views are and will always be my own.

Why I Read Erotica (and You Should Too!)

Outside of very specific environments, it’s not “cool” to admit you read and enjoy erotica. E.L James might now be a household name, but people still occasionally try to convince me that they read Fifty Shades of Grey for the gripping plot.

I think erotica gets a bad rap for several reasons. Firstly, it’s written and read by women more than men. Unfortunately, work by/about/aimed towards women still tends to be regarded as frivolous. (See: anything with a female protagonist risks being labelled “chick lit”). Similarly, content connected to sex is also still treated as something shameful, dirty, secretive, or something to be embarrassed about.

I also think this is a damn shame. A lot of erotica is absolutely wonderful. Masturbation is important, sex is important, arousal is important! Despite myths to the contrary, writing good smut is hard work and requires a lot of skill.

Read on to find out why I think sexy fiction is the most underrated genre and why we can all use it in our lives.

A safe way to explore your fantasies and limits

Reading about something is generally infinitely safer than doing it. Let’s say you have a kink or interest you can’t explore in reality for some reason, or aren’t ready to explore in reality yet. Reading about it can be a great way to scratch that itch. You can’t get hurt by reading about something, no-one else’s consent is required, it’s not cheating. (Dear God, if your partner thinks erotica – or porn, or masturbation – is cheating, break up with them like three years ago).

Reading about something and exploring if it turns you on in a masturbation setting is lower pressure than exploring with another person, especially if you’re not sure if it will work for you or not.

And in case you’re wondering: yes, it’s fine to get turned on by something in fiction that you wouldn’t want to act out in real life!

Introduces you to new kinks, roles, scenes and ideas

I was reading erotic fiction with dominance and submission themes long before I was practicing BDSM in real life. Erotica helped me to discover the types of scenarios that interested me, the names and words that turn me on… and also, the things that completely leave me cold. Reading woman-on-woman scenes was actually a huge part of coming to accept my own bisexuality.

Erotica can introduce you to kinks you never knew existed (ask me how I learned that orgasm control is a thing), make you feel less alone (ask me how I discovered that I wasn’t the only freak in the world who liked to get spanked), or even help you open up lines of communication about certain kinks with your partner (ask me how I let Mr CK know I have a medical examination fetish).

If you’re not sure what you’re into? Pick up a sexy compilation collection to give you lots of ground to explore.

It can make it quicker, easier or more enjoyable to reach orgasm

The best way for me to get going pre-wank is to read some really good smut. It works better than visual porn and, usually, better than my imagination. Plus, taking the few minutes to find a filthy story that works for me is a good way to get into a sexy headspace. If I want a long, luxurious session, taking my time to immerse myself in an erotic book is glorious. If I’m more looking for a hot quickie with myself, then a favourite story and my Doxy will get me done in ten minutes or less.

It’s great to share with a partner

As I already mentioned, sharing the erotica you enjoy can be a great way to share what turns you on with your partner. Perhaps you can’t say out loud “I want you to bend me over and spank me while you call me a dirty little slut“. But you can point them to a story with these themes that really did it for you.

Reading erotica together, or aloud to each other, is also a mega sexy thing to do. A really hot D/s scene we did a while ago involved Mr CK reading out some erotica that I’d chosen, and instructing me on when I was and wasn’t allowed to touch myself (and, of course, come).

And sometimes, it has damn good plots!

I don’t, primarily, read smut for the story. But just occasionally an erotic novel will have a plot so good that the sexy bits are almost just a very enjoyable bonus. Cooper S Beckett’s A Life Less Monogamous and Approaching the Swingularity (the latter reviewed here) are two great examples.

Is erotica for me?

Yes! Regardless of your gender, orientation or particular kinks, there’s bound to be something in the wide world of erotic fiction that appeals to you. And if no-one has written the story you want to read? Well… why not give it a go?

So where can I find good smut?

For some of my personal top picks, check out the books linked in this post.

You can also visit Literotica, an amazing free resource where thousands of amateur writers have uploaded their stories for your masturbatory pleasure. There’s a lot of crap, of course, but some real gems in there too. You can search by category, keyword or tag.

You can also find some great quick reads on Amazon Kindle. These typically cost $1 to $5 each – and you can read loads of stuff for free with a subscription to Kindle Unlimited.

Finally, of course, read your favourite sex bloggers! My “fiction” and “Masturbation Monday” tags contain all my freely available work.

Basically: smut is great. Go read some smut.

Heads up: affiliate links appear in this post!