Gendered marketing is one of my biggest bugbears in the adult space, and the vast majority of retailers do it. Everywhere you look, you’ll see sex toys categorised as “for men” or “for women.” But we should all know by now that body parts don’t define gender. Not everyone with a vulva is a woman, not everyone with a penis is a man, and myriad genders exist between and beyond those two binary options.
(If you think gender is binary or that physiology alone defines gender, then erm… you’re probably in the wrong place.)
And look, I even understand why adult retailers do this, up to a point. For many, it’s primarily an SEO concern. “Sex toys for men” gets almost half a million Google searches per month at the time of writing, while “sex toys for women” gets close to 100,000. “Sex toys for penis” and “sex toys for clit” get a relatively paltry ~5000 and ~500 searches, respectively (and “vulva” doesn’t even get a look-in, but that’s a rant for another day.)
Even so, though, continuing to aggressively gender sex toys contributes directly towards exclusion and inequality in an industry that is already… not great on those things a lot of the time.
With that in mind, I wanted to tell you about some of my favourite adult retailers and manufacturers that do not use gendered marketing.
SheVibe: Long-Standing Adult Retailers With a Broad Catalogue
I love SheVibe’s playful, comic book-inspired aesthetic, and I love their gender-neutral approach even more. Toys are categorised by type and body part, not by gender. So you’ll find categories like “vibrators”, “dildos”, and “penis toys”.
SheVibe has a huge and extensive product catalogue so whatever you’re looking for, you’ll find something for you here.
Godemiche: Beautiful, Colourful Silicone Toys for All Bodies
This small, UK-based adult retailer of colourful silicone sexiness categorises their toys by type (dildos, hump toys, masturbators, and so on) rather than by gender. The Grind Ring products (some of my all-time faves!), for example, are described as being for “anyone with a clitoris.”
If you’re looking for quality body-safe silicone sex toys in a bigger range of colours and blends than you’ve ever seen in your life, then look no further.
Arosum: New LGBTQ-Led Store Without Gendered Marketing
I’ve only recently started working with Arosum, and I’m a big fan. They categorise their toys by body part (vulva, penis, or anus) then sub-categorise them by type (“clitoris vibrators,” “masturbators,” etc.)
Arosum puts the LGBTQ+ community front and centre and designs their products with us in mind. It’s so refreshing to see diverse images of smiling queer people. Arosum’s blog content covers topics like the history of Pride and LGBTQ+ workplace discrimination.
The Pleasure Garden: My Favourite Inclusive Adult Retailers in the UK
The Pleasure Garden is a small business and the UK’s inclusive sex shop. They believe that everyone deserves pleasure and they only stock body-safe products. Products are categorised variably by type and by body part (“vibrators”, “cock and ball toys,” and so on.)
They even have a separate “gender expression” category filled with products designed specifically with trans and non-binary people in mind!
Stockroom: The Ultimate Destination for Kink Gear and More
Stockroom is actually primarily known as a BDSM gear supplier, but also offers an impressive array of sex toys in their catalogue. You’ll see wording like “cock and ball toys” rather than “toys for men.”
Annoyingly, some of their kink gear—most notably their extensive range of chastity devices and suction pumps—is categorised by gender rather than body part. For this reason, I debated whether or not to include them. But their sex toys, at least, are de-gendered.
FYI: this post contains affiliate links for the adult retailers mentioned.