“No fiction, no acting, no judgements, no comparisons, no fear, no guilt nor shame”—so begins the Bijoux Indiscrets “Slow Sex” manifesto, which adorns the packaging of each product in the Slow Sex range of intimacy and better sex products, which I recently received to review. Definitely a message I can get behind!
Of course, sex is complicated. Fear, judgement and shame are very real for too many of us. I still experience them even as someone who makes a living by talking and writing openly about sex. It’s going to take far more than a range of products to fully tackle the deep, systemic issues that allow sexual shame to run rampant.
Even so, in a world where so many companies (even purportedly sex-positive ones) profit from shame and stigma, I’m glad to see an adult retailer encouraging people to move away from these destructive ideas and towards more authentic pleasure.
I received a selection of items from the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex range to try out.
Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Range: General Impressions
Each full size Slow Sex product comes beautifully presented. It comes in eco-friendly cardboard packaging featuring artistic close-ups of body parts and sometimes floral motifs.
The Slow Sex range also doesn’t use any gendered marketing! Each product is described by referencing body parts and sex acts, without ascribing gender to them. It sounds like a small thing, but simply writing “the clitoris” instead of “her clitoris” or “use it on your partner” rather than “use it on your man” makes sexuality product marketing so much more inclusive.
With the exception of the oral sex strips, all the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex products I tried for this review have a strong and distinctive coconut aroma. I enjoy the smell and taste of coconut, so this was fine. But if you don’t, it’s something to be aware of. The scent is pretty noticeable and does tend to hang around after you’ve finished playing!
Everything in the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex range is cruelty-free and vegan.
Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Clitoral Balm Review
The Slow Sex product I was most excited to try was the clitoral balm. So naturally that’s where I went first.
Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Clitoral Balm comes in a little 10ml tube. This doesn’t seem like much, but you only need a tiny amount so this tube will last you a while.
Slow Sex Clitoral Balm contains a pretty long list of ingredients. Check it carefully before use if you’re allergic or sensitive to anything. There’s nothing in the ingredients that immediately strikes me as problematic. It does contain glycerin, but for an external-only product that you use in tiny amounts, I don’t really mind.
Honestly, I was underwhelmed by this product. I really wanted to love Bijoux Indiscrets’ clitoral balm, especially as I’ve reviewed and loved various similar products in the past, but it didn’t do much for me. I got a slight warming sensation, which was pleasant enough. But it didn’t really enhance sensitivity or give me any noticeable increase in pleasure. If you enjoy warming lubes, this is a slight step up from that, but it’s not much more. I’ll probably finish this tube, but I’m unlikely to buy it again.
Slow Sex Clitoral Balm retails for £15/$17. According to Bijoux, it’s compatible with all toy types and with latex barriers.
Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Finger Play Gel Review
The Slow Sex Finger Play Gel is basically a water-based lube designed for external use, particularly for hand sex (i.e. fingering or hand-jobs.) It contains just a few ingredients, of which the main ones are glycerin, water, and aloe vera leaf juice. Given the high glycerin concentration, I won’t be using this one internally and I’d advise that you don’t either.
The Finger Play Gel is a gorgeously thick lubricant. It lasts well, and a little goes a long way. Its thick texture and slipperiness make it perfect for hand sex. It’s easy to clean up with warm water and soap, though it does get sticky after a while. After use, my skin felt soft and moisturised, probably thanks to the aloe. It has a pleasant, subtly sweet taste.
Slow Sex Finger Play Gel retails for £15/$17. With just 30ml in a tube, it’s pretty pricey, but it should last you a while. Slow Sex Finger Play Gel is condom-compatible and suitable to use with all toy materials.
Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel
Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel comes in a little 10ml glass tube with a roller ball applicator. Simply apply a little to your nipples and then stimulate them as you normally would. The gel gives a subtle cooling, tingling sensation.
I found that the Nipple Play Gel slightly heightened sensitivity. When I applied it then went about my day, it made me more aware of my nipples—and particularly the feel of them against my clothing—than I’d normally be. Potentially fun if you want to heighten your arousal throughout the day. I found that one application lasted about an hour before the effect wore off.
It also increases sensitivity if you’re doing nipple play with hands, toys, or clamps. But this stuff really comes into its own when combined with oral nipple stimulation. The cool gel combined with a warm mouth makes everything feel much more intense. And since the gel has a sweet taste, it’s not unpleasant for the giver, either! (Assuming they like coconut.)
The Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel is water-based and does not contain any ingredients that are toxic or problematic for topical use. It’s easy to wash off when you’re done and leaves a gentle coconut scent on the skin.
Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel retails for £15/$17.
Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm
I was highly sceptical about the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm, as was Mr C&K, but we kept an open mind and decided to give it a fair chance for this review. It comes in a 10ml tube and I was expecting a liquid or thin gel, but it’s really more of a thick paste. I had to massage it between my fingers to get it to melt enough to use.
The packaging suggests applying Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm to your lips right before giving a blow job, or applying it directly to the penis. To get the full effect, we did both. I’m not sure most people would feel much if you only did the former.
First, the good: it definitely had an effect! My partner described it as a cooling sensation, which is likely caused by the menthol it contains. When you’re doing oral sex, the contrast between this cooling and the warmth of a mouth can be very interesting. He also reported that it did increase sensitivity slightly, and that it felt like sensation continued after the point of orgasm.
Then the less-good: Since Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm is an oil-based product, it’s not suitable for use with any latex barriers. And given that I wouldn’t want several of the ingredients in my vagina, it also means it’s not really possible to go from oral to vaginal sex without cleaning up in between. I really dislike the sensation of anything oily or sticky on my hands, so I had to wipe this off with a tissue immediately after applying it.
Also worth noting: the coconutty/minty smell and taste is VERY potent. It’s not unpleasant but if, like me, you like to experience the scent and taste of your partner’s body, this is definitely going to mask that.
Overall, a mixed experience but definitely more positive than we were expecting.
Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm retails for £15/$17.
Slow Sex Oil Based Full Body Massage Gel
The Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Full Body Massage Gel comes in an attractive glass bottle. With 50ml in the bottle, it definitely feels like one of the more substantial Slow Sex products. Slow Sex Massage Gel is oil-based and designed for all-over massage.
The packaging says you can use it “anywhere and everywhere” and the website describes it as genital-compatible, so if your massage turns erotic you’re good to go. Again, I’d recommend that you keep it external only. This massage gel is also suitable for use in water and is compatible with silicone sex toys and latex barriers.
This is probably my favourite product in the entire Slow Sex range. It is slick without being sticky, and does not leave any nasty residue behind. As a bonus, it leaves my skin feeling lovely and moisturised (and coconut scented!) It also lasts ages, as a little bit goes a long way once it’s on the skin.
I also like that Slow Sex Massage Gel comes in a pump bottle, which is much more user-friendly and less spillage-prone than the bottles massage oils usually come in.
Slow Sex Full Body Massage Gel retails for £18/$23.
Slow Sex Oral Sex Strips
If you’re asking “what on earth is an oral sex strip?”, well, so was I! Turns out they’re little paper-thin minty strips that are designed to go on your tongue and then melt while you’re performing oral sex. Like the Oral Sex Balm, the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Oral Sex Strips have a strong minty flavour (spearmint oil is one of the main ingredients.) They taste like something you’d use to brush your teeth or freshen your breath.
The sensation is… interesting. Much like the Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm, the main appeal of these strips is that they provide a contrast between the cooling sensation and the warmth of a mouth. However, they melt very quickly so the intense effect only lasts for maybe a minute or so. You do get some of the effect for a while afterwards as the mint lingers on your body, but you only get maybe a maximum of 5 minutes out of each strip.
These were fine, but I wasn’t blown away. They heightened sensitivity somewhat, but not to such an extent that they can make or break the experience. And to be honest, I’m going to repeat something I said above. If I’m going down on a lover, I want to taste them, not a mouthful of mint.
Slow Sex Oral Sex Strips retail for £6/$7 for a pack of 7.
Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Massage Candle
The Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Massage Candle comes in a little tin. It is made of body-safe, skin-friendly, and plant-based ingredients. The main ingredients include Prunus Amygdalus Dulcis oil, Cocos Nucifera (coconut) oil, and Shea butter.
The Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Massage Candle melts quickly once you light it. I had plenty of usable oil within less than a minute after lighting. When I wanted to top up on oil mid-massage, it took no more than 10-15 seconds of the candle being lit to get the amount I needed. The box says to light it for 15 minutes but honestly, unless you want the entire thing melted, that’s not even close to necessary. Any oil you don’t use will just harden again as it cools, ready for next time.
Both my girlfriend and I loved the subtle coconut scent of this candle. It’s distinctive without being obtrusive or overpowering, and helps to create a lovely romantic, relaxed vibe as it permeates your space. Our skin felt wonderfully soft and moisturised after trading massages, and I still kept catching little whiffs of the scent hours later.
I often struggle with oily sensations for sensory reasons, but the Bijoux Indiscrets Massage Candle’s oil doesn’t leave my skin feeling unpleasantly greasy because it soaks in so well. An oil-based product that doesn’t have me running to wash it off my hands? That’s an achievement in itself.
Because there’s no wax in this candle, you can also use it as a moisturiser or as a fragrant addition to a bath if you like.
For the avoidance of doubt, this is not the same as a wax play candle. The melting point of the oils is much lower than that of paraffin or even soy wax, meaning that—even if you drip it from very close to your partner’s skin—you’ll get a pleasant warmth rather than an “ouch.”
The oil will start to harden again as it hits the body, but as soon as you run your hands over it, it’ll melt again and start to be absorbed into the skin as you massage. This means that, unlike with wax play, there’s little to no cleanup afterwards.
Due to the oils it contains, this massage candle is not compatible with latex or polyisoprene (though it’s okay with polyurethane.) This means you’ll need to be careful if you’re using barriers such as condoms or dams.
I also didn’t love the slight black residue you get on the inside of the tin and across the top of the candle when it’s been burning a few minutes. It doesn’t really get on your skin in any noticeable way, but it looks a bit yuck.
Depending on how generous you like to go with your oil, you’ll probably get 4-5 massages out of one candle. You could make it last a little longer by going lighter on your coverage, but more is definitely more here in my experience!
The Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Massage Candle retails for £18/$22.
Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me these Slow Sex products to test in exchange for an honest review.