In the years (9 of them! Happy anniversary, C&K!) that I’ve been writing about sex and reviewing sex toys, I’ve learned a lot about both my own preferences and those of others. When it comes to dildos, the ones I most gravitate towards tend to be colourful, sparkly, or otherwise non-realistic. However, the good folks at Epic Dildos invited me to write about ultra realistic dildos for them, so I’ve been taking some time to think about why so many people enjoy these toys and some of the fun ways to use them.

Using Ultra Realistic Dildos to Achieve a Lifelike Sensation

I do not believe that sex toys are, or ever can be, replacements for human partners. The term “battery-operated boyfriend” can get in the bin. And let’s not even talk about those vibrators with faces and personalities that the incredible Epiphora reviewed all the way back in 2015.

So no, a dildo cannot replace a penis-owning human. However, if you want to enjoy the feeling of having sex with a person with a bio-cock and don’t have a suitable partner available (or are just in the mood for some solo sex), a realistic dildo is a great option. It’s not entirely identical, of course, but a good realistic toy can be damn close in terms of physical sensation.

Dual-density materials such as the Flexiskin™ liquid silicone Epic Dildos uses for their hyper realistic range combine a soft, malleable outer layer with a firm inner core to mimic an erect penis.

Fulfilling Fantasies with Ultra Realistic Dildos

Like all sex toys, dildos can be enjoyed as much alone or with a partner. One of the most surprisingly common uses I hear about for ultra realistic dildos? Fulfilling threesome or group sex fantasies.

Threesomes are consistently cited in various surveys and studies as one of the most common sexual fantasies. However, choosing to have one in real life is a big decision and not to be taken lightly. When done right, they can be amazing. However, if they’re done badly, they’re also ripe for coercion (if one party in a relationship is less keen than the other), can spike jealousy and insecurity, and can damage or destroy relationships.

If you fantasise about threesomes or group sex but aren’t sure if you’d want to do it for real, using an ultra realistic dildo can allow you and your partner to bring the fantasy to life without the risk. You won’t get the emotional or psychological impact of having a third person involved, but you can simulate some of the physical sensations, do some amazing dirty talk, and spin a scene or story together using toys.

Enjoying Dicks of Different Shapes and Sizes

If you’re monogamous, prefer to have sex with only a single partner at a time, or don’t want to have any sexual partners (at the moment or ever), ultra realistic dildos offer a fun and safe way to enjoy sexual variety. Just as all human cocks are different, so are all the varieties of realistic dildos on the market.

Want to experience bigger or smaller, curved or straight, semi-soft or ultra-firm? The amazing range of realistic dildos out there has got you covered. As a bonus, some offer additional features you can’t get with a bio-cock, such as vibrations.

Ultra Realistic Dildos as a Gender-Affirming Choice

My girlfriend Em and I have started referring to my choice of dildos as “gender-affirming.” I’m a femme who is also primarily submissive, and choosing toys that feel like “me” has felt increasingly important as I explore my role as a strap-on top.

Just as sparkly, colourful dildos feel gender-affirming for me, ultra realistic dildos can feel the same way for other folks. Trans men, transmasculine people, and cis men who use dildos or strap-ons are just some of the people who might find that an ultra realistic dildo aligns best with their gender identity and presentation.

Practicing Sexual Skills

None of us get into our first sexual relationship magically knowing how to have good sex. And none of us get into any sexual relationship magically knowing how to have good sex with that person specifically. Sex is a set of skills, from the interpersonal (communicating your desires, paying attention to verbal and non-verbal cues) to the physical. These skills can be learned, honed, and relearned throughout your sexual life.

If you want to learn or practice a specific sexual skill, from giving a certain type of blowjob your partner loves to riding a dick in a particular position, using a realistic dildo is one great and low-pressure way to do that.

4 Ways to Play with Ultra Realistic Dildos

Whether you’ve just got your first realistic dildo or are an aficionado looking for new ways to play, here are a few suggestions you might not have thought about.

Strap It On

Strap-on sex is most often associated with lesbian and sapphic sex, but anyone can enjoy it. For strap-on sex, look for dildos with a base that’s wide but not too deep. Think flat base or suction cup dildos rather than those with balls.

Go Hands-Free

Some ultra realistic dildos come with suction cups, allowing you to affix them to a wall, floor, or other flat surface. This gives you an opportunity to play hands-free, using your hands to do other things to your or your partner’s body.

Pair Your Dildo with Another Toy

Use your dildo internally while you (or your partner) hold a bullet vibrator against your clitoris. Hold a wand vibrator against the base of your dildo for deep, internal rumbles, Insert your dildo anally (if it has a flared base) then use a stroker to stimulate your penis. Get creative and try out different combinations.

Put On a Show

If you enjoy exhibitionism and voyeurism, putting on a sexy show for your partner can be a hot shared experience. Invite them to watch while you touch, tease, or fuck yourself with your toy. Whether you ultimately let them join in or just drive them wild with the visuals? That’s up to you.

Thanks to Epic Dildos for sponsoring this post! All views and writing, as always, are mine.