[Guest Post] How CBD Lube Changed My Sex Life When My Body Forgot How to Orgasm by Hattie Gladwell

Today’s guest post comes from Hattie Gladwell (she/her,) a freelance journalist whose work I have been reading and enjoying for a while. This piece on how Dani Pepper O CBD lube was a game-changer for her is her first post for C&K.

I loved this story because struggles with orgasm are so, so common, especially for cis women and other people with vulvas. The limited cultural narratives around sex can make us feel that we should all be having the most amazing sex, all the time and without ever talking about it.

Those same narratives push the idea that if we’re with the right partner, sex and orgasm will be easy and effortless, and that any use of additional tools (such as toys or lube) indicate failure. But as we can see from Hattie’s story, those things can be game changers in the best possible way.

Enjoy!

Amy x

Dani Pepper O: How This CBD Lube Changed My Sex Life When My Body Forgot How to Orgasm

I was in a sexless relationship for almost six years. It was difficult not just physically, but mentally, too. I wanted an intimate relationship, but sadly he wasn’t interested. Of course, I thought it was me. That something was wrong with me. I changed how I looked constantly to see if maybe he’d start loving me again, but the relationship had been dead for years. 

When we first got together, I was able to orgasm easily and quickly. Multiple times. Having an orgasm wasn’t something I’d ever struggled with. I’d always had a good sex life before the relationship, and during the first year. But everything changed, and I don’t know why. 

When we finally broke up and I walked away from the stale relationship, I met somebody new quickly. My family and friends warned me that it was too early, that I needed to heal. But I had already done my healing over the last six months of the relationship—because I knew it was coming to an end. 

It was incredible to have sex with someone new. I mean, it was incredible just to have sex again. But, I couldn’t orgasm. It made me feel bad because I didn’t want my new partner to think it was him. My body just forgot what an orgasm felt like, and I couldn’t do it anymore. 

When I tried to get there, it was even more impossible, because I was putting myself under too much pressure. It wasn’t until I decided to “re-discover myself” alone, learning what I liked and didn’t like, and what made me tick, that finally (with a little help from Dani Pepper O CBD lube) I came to climax again. 

I decided to show my partner what I liked, and it worked—but it still took me up to an hour to get there, and sometimes I couldn’t at all. It was frustrating and I felt resentment towards my ex because I felt like I had no control over my body.

I could only come during mutual masturbation. Never during sex. Which is annoying, because I want to reach orgasm when my partner does. It feels more intimate. It makes me feel closer. 

That’s where the Dani Pepper CBD lube comes in. 

There are lots of CBD lubes out there, even though not that many people know about them. Of course, most people have heard about CBD and the common belief that it helps with chronic pain. But it can also help with sensitivity of the vulva, as it is absorbed through the tissues.

I was sceptical, but decided to try Dani Pepper’s “O” orgasm enhancer.

It comes in a bottle that looks just like regular, non-CBD lube, and is transparent. It’s made using organic and natural ingredients, and is water-based, meaning it’s okay to use with latex. 

I sat down with my partner and talked about using the lube, and he agreed. He was just as adamant about getting my orgasms back on track as I was. 

That night, we had sex. But before we did, we did what we usually do, and he tried to get me off. I decided to do it during mutual masturbation because I wanted my body to get used to the CBD lube in a way that I knew might just make me come. 

He put the lube on me, and within 15 minutes I started to feel more relaxed. I wasn’t worried about climaxing. I decided that it didn’t matter if I didn’t orgasm this time—I could always try again. 

But I did come. Quickly. Intensely. The most extraordinary orgasm I have ever had. 

It lasted for at least 10 seconds, and afterwards, my legs were shaking and I couldn’t speak through breathlessness. 

What I also loved is how calm I felt afterwards. I continued to feel this really relaxing sensation. Sex afterwards was amazing because, even though I can’t come through penetration still, it made us both feel accomplished. Knowing I’d “got there” meant there were no frustrated vibes after having sex—or masturbating for an hour. 

I always use the Dani Pepper O lube every time we have sex now. It’s my go-to, and I of course have more than one bottle at a time so that I can keep myself stocked up. 

CBD lube has been a game-changer for me. Not just because of the incredibly intense orgasms, but because it has brought me closer to my partner sexually. I feel like our sex life is way more intimate now, and I never feel like I’m missing out. And I won’t ever again.

About the Author

Hattie Gladwell is a journalist and editor from Sussex. She is passionate about raising awareness of mental health issues, and mainly writes about sex, relationships, parenting and mental illness.

Product recommendation is the writer’s own and is not sponsored.

[Lube Review] Promescent Personal Lubricants

I’m picky about lube. Like, super picky. This is for a good reason; there are a lot of ingredients that my body simply does not like or get along with. Having to stop sex because your vulva is burning as a result of some random lube you grabbed? Do not recommend. As a result, I tend to stick to a couple of favourite brands. When companies offer me lubes for review, I often either just say no or end up hating the product. However, I was intrigued enough by Promescent’s water-based, silicone-based, and organic aloe lube products to give it a go.

Couple in bed with lubes in foreground

Who Is Promescent?

Promescent is a company dedicated to closing the orgasm gap (a term for the fact that on average, cis men and other people with penises experience orgasm more frequently and more quickly than cis women and other people with vulvas during partnered sex.)

Promescent started out making an orgasm delay product for penis owners, but has now branched out into other lines including lube, condoms, massage oils, and arousal gels for vulva owners.

Promescent works with a medical advisory team including urologists and sexual medicine experts, and is additionally supported by a medical review team featuring names you may know, including Dr Justin Lehmiller and Dr Laura Berman, and a team of non-medical sexuality experts.

Promescent’s Lube Line

The Promescent team were kind enough to send me three of their lubes to try. I received the water-based lube, organic aloe-based lube, and silicone lube. I’m going to start by talking about the ingredients, then look at my experience with each product in turn.

Promescent organic and body safe lubes

Each lube comes in a 4fl oz (118ml) disk-cap bottle. You can also get larger 8fl oz bottles, or subscribe for regular deliveries and save 7%.

Ingredients and Safety

With such a large team of sexuality professionals and medical experts on board, one would expect Promescent to be using body-safe ingredients in their lubes. I looked closely at each label and did a deep dive on the internet to learn about them.

My main resources for this research were Condom Depot’s What’s In My Lube? guide, Incidecoder, and SkinCarisma’s ingredients analyser. After looking up every ingredient name I didn’t recognise, I feel safe in saying that these lubes do not contain any toxic ingredients and will be safe for anyone to use as long as you don’t have a specific allergy or sensitivity.

A small disclaimer here: the water-based lube does contain glycerin. This isn’t a toxic ingredient, but it is a form of sugar and can be problematic to people who are prone to yeast infections. Personally, I prefer not to use lubes with glycerin as they can have an unpleasant sticky feel and tend to leave my vulva feeling unhappy.

None of the Promescent lubes contain parabens (harmful chemicals that pop up distressingly often in lubricants and cosmetics and have been linked to hormone disruption, fertility issues, and even cancer.) All the lubes are also pH balanced, meaning they won’t have a negative impact on your vaginal health.

Let’s dive in one at a time and talk about how I got on with them!

Promescent Water-Based Lube

Promescent water-based lube

I always tell my readers that if they’re going to buy one type of lube, make it a quality water-based lube. That’s because water-based is the most versatile type of lube you can get, compatible with all toy materials and with both latex and non-latex barriers.

The Promescent water-based lube has a light, natural scent and a slight tangy taste. It’s very runny and slippery, and you only need a little bit to go a long way. This lube is quick-drying and did not leave any unwanted residue on either my body or my sheets. Due to the glycerin, though, it’s a little sticky.

A 4oz bottle of Promescent water-based lube retails for $8.99, making it the cheapest of the bunch. You can use it with any type of barrier and any sex toy material.

Use it for: oral sex, since it has the lightest taste, or playing with silicone toys.

Promescent Organic Aloe-Based Lube

Promescent organic aloe-based lube

I’ve never tried an aloe-based lube before, so this was a new one to me. I’ve been sniffing it and trying to work out what the scent reminds me of. It’s very botanical. Basically, if “green” had a smell, it would be this. The aloe lube has a stronger taste than the water-based, though it’s still pretty mild and not unpleasant.

Texture-wise, the aloe lube is about the same thickness and consistency as the water-based. However, I found that it absorbed into my skin more slowly, meaning that it lasted longer. This makes it perfect for lube-heavy activities such as anal play!

It’s got a lovely, slippery feel that is the closest of the three to natural lubrication. It left my skin feeling soft and non-sticky, and did not stain my sheets.

FYI: the aloe lube isn’t safe for use with polyurethane condoms, but latex and polyisoprene are fine. It pairs well with all body-safe sex toy materials.

A 4oz bottle of Promescent organic aloe lube retails for $9.49.

Use it for: anal sex, vaginal penetration with a penis or toy.

Promescent Silicone Lube

Promescent silicone lube

Silicone lube is divisive in the sex-geek world. Some people love it, others hate it. I love it in the right contexts, but in practice I don’t use it very often. That’s because silicone lube can sometimes damage silicone toys (though it doesn’t always) and a large percentage of my toy collection consists of silicone products.

Silicone also requires more clean-up, since it can stain certain fabrics and is harder to get off your skin. I recommend putting a towel down for easy clean up when you’re done. With that said, silicone lube also has a lot of advantages and I enjoyed getting a chance to experiment with it.

Promescent’s silicone lube contains just four ingredients. It is thinner and runnier than many other silicone lubricants I’ve encountered. Again, you really only need a little bit and it goes a long way. It did leave my skin slightly sticky, but washed away easily with my usual soap.

The texture of this lube is super slick and silky, which makes it absolutely perfect for hand sex. Clitoral stimulation is a lot more comfortable and pleasurable when there’s sufficient lubrication, and Promescent’s silicone lube is an excellent choice for this purpose. It’s also ideal for bath and shower sex, since it isn’t water-soluble.

A 4oz bottle of Promescent silicone lube retails for $12.99.

Use it for: hand sex (on yourself or a partner), playing with non-silicone toys.

So Which Promescent Lube is My Favourite?

It’s a tough call, but the organic aloe-based lube is a surprising winner for me! The slick, moisturising feel and the pleasant natural scent just clinch it. But honestly they’re all great products that absolutely deserve a place on your nightstand.

FYI: this review was sponsored, which means Promescent paid me to test their products and write an honest review. Images are courtesy of Promescent and used with permission. All views are, as always, my own.

[Lube Review] Lovehoney Caramel Latte Flavoured Lube

It’s been a while since I’ve reviewed a lube, and I’ve certainly never tried a caramel and coffee flavored lube until today. But ’tis the season, and I do love coffee, so let’s looking at Lovehoney’s new festive caramel latte lubricant.

Festive Flavors: Coffee & Caramel Flavored Lube

Lovehoney’s caramel latte coffee flavored lube is a water-based formula that comes in a 100ml (3.4 fl oz) pump bottle. It is the latest edition to Lovehoney’s growing flavoured lubes line.

Lovehoney caramel latte flavoured lube

The bottle bears the signature bubbles design that features on various Lovehoney lubes. In this case, the bubbles and product name are… well, caramel coloured.

Caramel Latte Coffee Flavored Lube: Ingredients

This is a water-based lube, and so it is unsurprising that water is the first ingredient on the list. Let’s take a quick look at the other main ingredients:

  • Sorbitol. This is a sugar alcohol which is generally recognised as safe (including for consumption) in small quantities. However, it’s worth being aware that sugar can increase the risk of yeast infections for some users, so exercise caution and maybe avoid this lube if you’re prone to them.
  • Potassium sorbate. This is a preservative that is generally considered safe and is a much better alternative to parabens.
  • Polysorbate 20. This is a non-toxic emulsifier that is added to many water-based cosmetics and skincare products.
  • Diazolidinyl urea. This is an antimicrobial preservative used in many cosmetics. It is considered safe in concentrations up to 0.5%, but can release small amounts of formaldehyde which can occasionally cause irritation in sensitive individuals.
  • Citric acid. This natural preservative is extremely common and is safe, especially in the minuscule quantities it’s used here.
  • Sucralose. This common artificial sweetener is essentially a form of sugar, helping to give this coffee caramel flavored lube its taste. It could be another potential risk for yeast infections if you’re prone to them. However, it’s also used in tiny quantities here.

So what’s the verdict? There’s nothing in this coffee caramel flavored lube that makes me go “oh hell no!” off the bat, but I’d recommend exercising caution if you have allergies, sensitivities, or are prone to infections.

To be fair, the bottle does specify that the lube is for external use only. For that reason, I recommend keeping it for oral sex or external hand sex only, and keeping it away from any internal areas. Switch to a gentle water-based lube for anything involving penetration.

Lovehoney Caramel Latte lube

By the way: this lube is also vegan, containing no animal-derived or animal-tested ingredients.

How Does It Taste?

Honestly? Not as bad as I expected.

I wasn’t at all convinced I’d like caramel and coffee flavored lube, and I confess I rolled my eyes at the concept. Admittedly, I’m kinda against flavoured lube on principle. I don’t generally get on well with anything with artificial flavourings and I find a lot of fruity flavored lubes are either too sickly sweet or just taste like chemicals.

But this one was a not-unpleasant surprise, considering my low expectations. It’s sweet but not overly sickly, and you only need a little bit to get the flavour. It also actually tastes like caramel and coffee. Kind of.

Ultimately, though, I don’t think I’ll have much use for this. Call me old-fashioned but I want my coffee to taste like coffee and my genitals to taste like, well, genitals.

Feel and Clean-Up

The Lovehoney coffee caramel flavored lube can get a little sticky if you leave it for too long. I guess that’s due to the sugar-based ingredients. However, it lasts fairly well and I didn’t need to keep re-applying it, which I appreciated.

Hand with caramel latte lube on fingers

As it’s water-based, the caramel latte lube is a breeze to clean up. Just rinse off with some warm water. It also won’t stain your sheets. Water-based lube is compatible with all body-safe sex toy materials including silicone, glass, ABS plastic, stainless steel, and wood.

So Do I Recommend Trying Coffee Flavored Lube?

I wouldn’t suggest caramel latte lube as a bedside staple. For the reasons I’ve mentioned, it’s really only suitable for external use (though oral sex is kind of the entire point of flavoured lubes anyway.) But if you’re not sensitive to any of the ingredients and enjoy a sweet, slightly coffee-ish flavour, it can be a playful stocking stuffer or a fun way to change up your oral sex routine once in a while.

For general use, a gentle unflavoured water-based or silicone-based lube is a better choice.

The Lovehoney caramel latte coffee flavored lube retails for £8.99 from Lovehoney UK.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! Views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.