Deinfluencing You: 6 Sexual Wellness and Pleasure Products You Do Not Need

I’ve only ever been called an “influencer” once and to be honest, friends, it made my teeth itch. I never set out to be an influencer, and ultimately the only thing I want to “influence” anyone to do is to have healthier, happier sex lives and more fulfilling relationships. That may or may not include buying quality sexual wellness or pleasure products. And today I’m going to be deinfluencing you from buying a bunch of shit you don’t need.

Settle in, get comfy, and grab a beverage, because this one got long.

I’m tremendously grateful, of course, to all the brands and business owners that have trusted me to test, review, and promote their products and to everyone who has ever used my affiliate links to make a purchase. Those deals and the money I make from them help me to keep the site going and pay my bills But my first duty is and will always be to my readers.

I promised right at the beginning of Coffee & Kink that I would never lie, deliberately omit pertinent information, or promote things I hadn’t tried or didn’t believe in. I’m proud to have stuck to that philosophy for more than 8 years.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this “deinfluencing you” trend that I’m seeing all over the various social media platforms, particularly Instagram and TikTok. In a nutshell, deinfluencing is all about the things you don’t need to buy. It’s about encouraging people to be more mindful about the products they buy, avoiding both overhyped nonsense that doesn’t work and micro-trends that will be used a handful of times and end up in landfill by this time next year.

Done right, deinfluencing can help to reduce overconsumption, reduce waste, and save money.

What I haven’t seen yet, though, is any deinfluencing content specifically related to sexual wellness products. So I thought I’d create some.

Deinfluencing You: 6 Sexual Wellness and Pleasure Products You Do Not Need

First, a quick disclaimer: this is ultimately my opinion. If you’ve bought any of these products and found that they changed your sex life for the better, you do you! I’m happy for you. The point of this isn’t to say these products are inherently bad (though some of them are). The point is to get you to look past the marketing hype and consider whether they’ll actually be beneficial to you.

So what pleasure and sexual wellness products do you not need? Here are six I’d like to deinfluence you from buying.

Sex Toy Cleaner

Dedicated “toy cleaner” for sex toys is a scam, and an expensive one at that. Simply put, it probably won’t hurt you but you definitely don’t need it. There’s nothing special, magical, or unique about sex toy cleaner. It’s literally a body-safe (sometimes) antibacterial spray or liquid, that’s it. If you’re using non-porous, body-safe toys, you don’t need it. If you’re using porous or toxic toys, it won’t help you.

You can safely skip the toy cleaner and save money by learning how to clean your toys quickly and easily without it. I wrote this guide for Godemiche a few years ago, but here’s the TL/DR version:

  • Boil silicone, glass, or stainless steel non-motorized toys in a pot of water on the stove for 10 minutes.
  • Clean ABS plastic toys and water-resistant motorized toys with some warm water and a gentle antibacterial soap.
  • For everything else, or for a quick clean-up between uses, a body-safe sterile wipe (the kind you can buy in bulk designed for cleaning medical instruments) is a great option.

Anything to Change How Your Genitals Taste, Smell, or Look

Though no-one is immune, these types of products and services are disproportionately marketed at people with vulvas. There is an enormous and hugely profitable industry out there designed to make you feel bad about the appearance, smell, or taste of your genitals. This category covers everything from sprays, creams, douches, and intimate washes through to supplements and even extreme solutions such as cosmetic surgeries.

But here’s the thing: pussy is supposed to smell and taste like pussy. Not flowers or honey or fucking cookies. And healthy, normal genitals come in numerous shapes, sizes, colours, textures, levels of symmetry, amounts and types of hair, and more. I want to deinfluence you not just from buying bogus products, but from thinking there is a single thing wrong with your beautiful, perfect genitals exactly as they are.

At best, anything designed to change the smell or taste of your genitals is unlikely to work for longer than a few minutes. At worst, these products can be actively dangerous. Many of them contain harmful ingredients which can disrupt the delicate balance of bacteria, throw off your pH levels, and lead to discomfort or even infection.

The amazing thing about the vagina is that it’s self-cleaning. You don’t need to – and shouldn’t – put any products inside it at all. The external vulva needs nothing more than a daily wash with some warm water to keep it clean. Some experts say to use a gentle and unperfumed soap, others say to avoid soaps entirely.

Short of surgery, you also can’t change how your genitals look. And you don’t need to! Your bits don’t need to be bigger, smaller, tighter, plumper, skinnier, neater, or any other bullshit you’ve been fed. They’re perfect exactly as they are. Anyone who shames or criticises you for the normal look, feel, taste, or smell of your genitals doesn’t deserve to be anywhere near your glorious body.

Scented or Flavoured Lube (Especially Seasonal Flavoured Lube)

I’m a big fan of lube. I probably have about ten or fifteen bottles of the stuff scattered around my bedroom, in my party kit, in my various travel bags for visiting my long-distance girlfriend, and in my “to be reviewed” pile. I believe lube can help to make mediocre sex good, and good sex great.

Flavoured lube, though?

No. That stuff can fuck off.

Flavoured lube is often packed with ingredients such as glycerin and other sweeteners, flavourings and fragrances. All of these can be really bad for vulvovaginal health. It also tends to have an unpleasant sticky texture.

And again: genitals are meant to smell and taste like genitals. Not strawberry. Not bubblegum. And certainly not any “seasonal” flavours, like that caramel latte stuff I reviewed once and then forgot about and ultimately threw away two years later because, even though it was less gross than many such products, I still don’t actually want my/my partners’ bits to taste of coffee and sugar.

While I’m deinfluencing you from buying flavoured lubes, I think we also need an honourable mention for flavoured condoms. I can sort of see the appeal of them if you’re someone who uses barriers for oral sex. Latex tastes nasty, after all. But in my considered opinion, those horrible artificial flavours taste worse. Pro tip: choose non-latex condoms made from materials like polyurethane (PU) condoms, and go for the non-lubricated variety, to minimise the taste and smell.

Libido or Arousal Supplements

Libido-boosting supplements and arousal supplements are big business. Manufacturers of these products make lofty claims, but do they work? Probably not, says Harvard Medical School. Some of these products may contain ingredients for which there is some evidence base, but at best they’re a helping hand, not a magic solution. Often, they’re pure pseudoscience.

Sometimes, libido supplements they can even be dangerous. They can cause unforseen side effects, allergic reactions, or interactions with other prescription or over-the-counter medication. If you’re going to try one, always consult a healthcare professional first. My ultimate recommendation, though, is to avoid these products unless you’re specifically directed to take one by your doctor.

Why? They’re a neat and easy “solution” to a complex issue which may or may not even be a problem at all.

Sexual desire (it’s not a drive!) is complex. Many people do not experience spontaneous desire (that “out of the blue” horniness or desire for sex, without any kind of sexually relevant stimulus) at all. Others experience it rarely, or find that its frequency declines with age. And some experience it all the time! All of these experiences are normal and healthy.

If your sexual desire is low, whether it’s always been low or has dipped recently, you don’t need scammy pills and potions. Instead, you need to take the time to understand what’s going on for you. Factors such as ageing, hormonal changes, pain, disability, stress, mental health problems, pregnancy and parenting, caring responsibilities, relationship challenges, and bereavement are just a few of the things that can impact sexual desire and sexual response. You might also be on the asexual spectrum or just a person with naturally low sexual desire. If your level of desire or lack thereof is not causing a problem for you, then… it’s not a problem!

Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are and its accompanying workbook is an unbeatable resource for anyone who is struggling with sexual desire. It’s primarily about the experiences of cis women and other people with vulvas, but Nagoski’s insights and the science underpinning them can be transformative for anyone. It’ll cost you a lot less than a packet of “libido-boosting supplements” and it’ll likely help you a hell of a lot more. (I might be deinfluencing you from buying crappy sexual wellness products, but I’m very happy to influence you into reading and internalising the brilliance of Dr. Nagoski!)

Note: what I’m not talking about in this section is pleasure balm, clitoral stimulation cream and so on. You apply these topically and they contain ingredients that stimulate blood flow or provide a pleasurable tingling sensation. I’m a big fan of these products and to the best of my knowledge, believe them to be safe.

Numbing Lubes, Sprays, and Creams

Numbling lubes, as well as other products such as sprays and creams, contain desensitising ingredients such as lidocaine or benzocaine. They’re particularly popular for anal sex. Some people also use them to delay ejaculation.

This is another product that isn’t just bad and a waste of money, it’s dangerous.

Never, ever, ever use a numbling agent for any kind of penetrative sex, whether anal or vaginal. Sex should not hurt. Yes, including anal sex – this is one of the biggest and most harmful anal sex myths there is. Yes, including the first time you have penetrative sex. If sex is painful, something is wrong. You might not be sufficiently aroused or lubricated. You might be tense or worried. Or there might be an underlying medical cause.

Regardless of the reason, numbing the area so you don’t feel the pain isn’t the answer. Pain is your body’s way of telling you something is wrong. Without its vital signals, you literally won’t be able to tell if damage is happening to your delicate tissue. Sex should never be something you have to push through or numb your body to get through.

Though it’s not as dangerous, I’d also like to deinfluence you from using numbing agents to delay ejaculation. Firstly, they reduce pleasure, which is likely one of the main reasons you’re having sex in the first place. Some people experience unwanted side effects such as redness, irritation, or even an allergic reaction. They can also transfer to your partner during penetrative sex, numbing or causing irritation to their vagina or anus.

If you’re tempted to reach for the numbing lube or spray, whether to deal with painful sex or to manage ejaculation that’s faster than you would like, seek support from a qualified medical professional such as a doctor or psychosexual therapist instead.

Yoni Eggs, Quartz Wands, and Other Crystal Sex Toys

Remember those “jade eggs” that Gwynneth Paltrow’s company, Goop, was selling a few years back? The company ended up paying $145,000 in fines for “unsubstantiated” marketing claims. Goop claimed that its jade eggs and quartz eggs could correct all kinds of medical issues, from hormonal imbalances to irregular mentrual cycles. Spoiler: they couldn’t.

Yoni eggs are egg-shaped pleasure products, designed to be inserted into the vagina. They’re usually made from gems such as jade or rose quartz. Other, similar products include quartz wands, which are basically dildos made from rose quartz. Proponents claim that these products have an array of impressive benefits, from altering hormones to healing sexual trauma. Spoiler: they don’t.

Some claims about crystal sex toys are readily disprovable with, you know, science. Others are so vague and wishy-washy as to be functionally meaningless. “As for ‘female energy’… I’m a gynaecologist and I don’t know what that is,” quips the amazing Dr. Jen Gunter.

Say it with me: crystals look pretty but they have absolutely no other powers or properties. Sorry pals, but I’m here to tell you that these things are absolute, solid gold, grade A bullshit. It’s pure woo nonsense made up to sell you things. And if you put crystals inside your body, they can also be dangerous.

Firstly, crystals are often porous. This means they will harbour bacteria and never get truly clean, leading to issues such as infections. This is a particular risk for products such as yoni eggs, which are designed to be worn inside the vagina for hours at a time. Some gynecologists have even identified them as a risk for toxic shock syndrome, which can be fatal.

Stones and crystals vary widely in both their porosity and their overall quality. Because the sex toy industry is largely unregulated, it can be hard to be sure that what you’re getting is what the manufacturer claims it is. That’s why writers, educators, and advocates like me are constantly banging on about how you should only buy from reputable retailers. This risk goes up massively when you’re dealing with things like crystals.

Crystal mining can also be harmful to the environment and to the people who actually dig these stones out of the ground. According to solicitor Rebecca Swan, writing for UK law firm Leigh Day, crystal mining can come with a steep human cost: injury, death, child labour, and economic exploitation. According to Tess McClure, writing for The Guardian, crystal mining is contributing directly to rainforest destruction and threatening the survival of endangered species. Some activists have even called crystals “the new blood diamonds.”

Not so “healing”, huh? If these facts don’t deinfluence you from being tempted by crystal pleasure products, I don’t know what will.

Leave the crystals alone. Your body and the planet will thank you.

I hope this has given you pause for thought if you were considering buying any of these products, which vary from “unnecessary and expensive” to “actively dangerous.” If I think of other sexual wellness and pleasure products you definitely don’t need, I might follow this up with a part 2.

Looking for pleasure products that are good for your body from companies you can trust? Check out my favourite retailers in the right hand sidebar or read my sex toy reviews for an unbiased and informed perspective.

[Lube, Cosmetics & Massage Products Review] Bijoux Indiscrets Bubblegum Play Kit

One of the fun things about being both a femme and a sex blogger at this time of year is seeing all the sweet, cutesy, pink-and-hearts-and-flowers themed products that companies are putting out for Valentine’s Day. Bijoux Indiscrets were kind enough to send me this year’s Valentine’s offering from their range: the Bubblegum Play Kit.

Bijoux Indiscrets Bubblegum Play Kit

The Bubblegum Play Kit contains three products: a warming massage oil, a full-body massage gel that doubles as a water-based lube, and a lipgloss. Each one is scented and flavoured like bubblegum. All three products, like everything in Bijoux’s range, are vegan.

Bijoux Indiscrets bubblegum play kit

The kit came packaged in a cute pink box with a heart on the front, much like the packaging you might get on a gift set of cosmetics or bath products. The overall effect, like the products themselves, is sweet to the point of saccharine. But how did the contents stack up? Let’s take a closer look at each item.

Warming Massage Oil

Bijoux Indiscrets bubblegum massage oil

This isn’t really an oil in the true sense of the word. As far as I can tell, it doesn’t actually contain any oil at all. It’s really a water-based gel that warms as you massage it in. Still, we’ll call it “massage oil” to distinguish it from the other massage product in this kit.

For me, it takes about a minute to feel the massage oil warming on my skin. You’ll get a more intense warming sensation if you blow gently on it.

I found that it didn’t really blend or get fully absorbed into the skin the way some massage oils do. Instead, it tends to linger on the surface. This can be a good thing, as a little bit goes a long way and there’s no need to keep reapplying it. However, it can also be a problem if you don’t enjoy the feeling of having oil or gel lingering on your skin.

This is by far the nicest tasting of the three products. It’s very, very, very sweet, so you’ll want to know that going on. That sweetness is likely due to its first ingredient: glycerin. Due to the glycerin, I found that my hands and skin felt quite sticky after using it and I wanted to wash it off.

Stickiness aside, though, this is a fine massage gel and the sweet bubblegum taste and pink aesthetic gives it a fun and playful vibe.

You can buy this gel separately for €22. It’s also available in caramel & sea salt and strawberry & honey flavours.

Full Body Massage Gel/Lube

Bijoux Indiscrets bubblegum massage gel/lube

According to Bijoux Indiscrets, this water-based massage gel can double up as an intimate lubricant. It has quite a long list of ingredients, so you’ll want to review it carefully to make sure there’s nothing you’re sensitive to.

I can’t see anything alarming in the ingredients, but I’m also not enough of an expert to declare them all definitely fine. At the very least this gel/lube contains no glycerin or parabens, though it does contain “Aroma” (artificial fragrance/flavour) which is not very specific and can include any number of things.

I do quite like the feeling of this one. It’s somewhere between a thick liquid and a thin gel, and it spreads across the skin nicely and lasts well. However, unlike the massage oil, this gel tastes really unpleasant to me. Instead of sweetness, it’s got a horrible chemical-y taste. I’m quite sensitive to artificial sweeteners and I can really, really taste them in this.

I probably won’t finish this one, honestly. I’m “meh” on flavoured lubes at best to begin with and this isn’t a nice tasting one.

Oral Pleasure Lip Gloss

Bijoux Indiscrets bubblegum lipgloss

This lip gloss is more subtly flavoured than the other two products in the set, but still has a distinctive bubblegum flavour. It’s not quite as sweet as the massage oil (which is probably a good thing for a product that goes directly on your mouth!)

After you apply it, you start getting a tingling sensation thanks to the peppermint oil it contains. I think, based on the name, the idea is that you put it on and then perform oral sex with it. I haven’t had the opportunity to try that but I did try putting a bit on my vulva, just to see what the effect would be. It gave a kinda pleasurable tingly, warming feeling a bit like a warming lube or menthol pleasure balm. So that effect might translate if you used it during oral?

The warming and tingling is really noticeable on my lips, to the point that it becomes uncomfortable if I use too much. You really only need a little bit of this one.

This lipgloss lasts well and gives a nice glossy shine. It’s a little sticky, which wasn’t a problem once it was on but made applying it with my fingers annoying. A brush or wand would be better than the pump top bottle.

Verdict

I generally liked two out of the three products in this kit and will definitely finish them. However, at €60 it’s pretty pricey for what it is. For that reason I don’t think I’d buy it again.

If you have a femme in your life who really likes pink things and bubblegum, though, it could be a cute and sensual Valentine’s Day gift.

Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me this product to review! All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Lube & Better Sex Products Review] Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Part 1

“No fiction, no acting, no judgements, no comparisons, no fear, no guilt nor shame” – so begins the Bijoux Indiscrets “Slow Sex” manifesto, which adorns the packaging of each product in the Slow Sex range of better sex products. And it’s a message I can get behind.

Of course, sex is complicated. Fear, judgement and shame are very real for too many of us. I experience them all the time, even (especially?) as someone who makes a living talking openly about sex on the internet. And it’s going to take far more than a fun hashtag or a range of products to fully tackle the deep, systemic issues that allow sexual shame to run rampant.

Even so, in a world where so many companies (even purportedly sex-positive companies) profit from shame and stigma, I’m glad to see an adult retailer encouraging people to move away from these destructive ideas and towards more authentic pleasure.

I received a selection of items from the Slow Sex range to try out. So I can give each product the focus it deserves, I’m going to tackle these mini reviews in two posts.

Slow Sex Range: General Impressions

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex banner

I received 5 full-size Slow Sex products, plus a couple of sample sizes. Each full-size item comes nicely presented in cardboard packaging (points for minimising single-use plastic!) The packaging is beautifully designed, featuring artistic close-ups of body parts (mouths, fingers, nipples) and sometimes floral motifs.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex boxes

The Slow Sex range also doesn’t use any gendered marketing! Each product is described by referencing body parts and sex acts, without ascribing gender to them. It sounds like a small thing, but simply writing “the clitoris” instead of “her clitoris”, or “use it on your partner” rather than “use it on your man”, makes sexuality product marketing so much more inclusive. Other retailers, take note!

With the exception of the oral sex strips, all the Slow Sex products I tried have a strong and distinctive coconut aroma. I enjoy the smell and taste of coconut, so this was fine. But if you don’t, it’s something to be aware of as the scent is pretty noticeable and does tend to hang around after you’ve finished playing!

Slow Sex Clitoral Balm

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex clit balm

The Slow Sex product I was most excited to try was the clitoral balm, so naturally that’s where I went first.

The Slow Sex Clitoral Balm comes in a little 10ml tube. Since you really only need a little bit to get the effect, a small tube will last you a while.

Slow Sex Clitoral Balm contains a pretty long list of ingredients, so check it carefully if you’re allergic or sensitive to anything. There’s nothing in the ingredients that immediately strikes me as problematic (e.g. parabens). I did some Googling of the ingredients I wasn’t familiar with, and found nothing concerning. It does contain glycerin, but for an external-only product that you use in tiny amounts, that won’t be a problem for most people.

Honestly, I was underwhelmed by the clitoral balm. I really wanted to love it, especially as I’ve tried and loved various similar products in the past, but it just didn’t do much for me. I got a slight warming sensation, which was pleasant enough, but it didn’t really enhance sensitivity or give me any noticeable increase in pleasure. If you enjoy warming lubes, this is a slight step up from that, and you might enjoy it.

I’ll probably finish this tube, but I’m unlikely to buy it again.

Slow Sex Clitoral Balm retails for €16.95. According to Bijoux, it’s compatible with all toy types and with latex barriers.

Slow Sex Finger Play Gel

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex finger play gel

The Slow Sex Finger Play Gel is basically a water-based lube designed for external use, particularly for fingering or hand-jobs. It contains just a few ingredients, of which the main ones are glycerin, water, and aloe vera leaf juice. Given the high glycerin concentration, don’t use this one inside your vagina, as this can cause yeast infections.

The Finger Play Gel is a lovely, thick lubricant. It lasts well, and a little goes a long way. Its thick texture and slipperiness make it perfect for hand sex. Due to the glycerin, it does feel a bit sticky after a while, but it’s easy to clean up with warm water and soap. After use, my skin felt soft and moisturised, probably thanks to the aloe. It has a pleasant, subtly sweet taste.

Slow Sex Finger Play Gel retails for €16.95. With just 30ml in a tube, it’s pretty pricey, but it should last you a while. Slow Sex Finger Play Gel is condom-compatible and suitable to use with all toy materials.

Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex nipple play gel

The Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel comes in a little 10ml glass tube with a roller ball applicator. Simply apply a little to your nipples, and then play as you normally would. The gel gives a subtle cooling, tingling sensation.

I found that the Nipple Play Gel slightly heightened sensitivity. When I applied it then went about my day, it made me more aware of my nipples – and particularly the feel of them against my clothing – than I’d normally be. Potentially fun if you want to heighten your arousal throughout the day. I found that one application lasted about an hour.

It also increases sensitivity if you’re doing nipple play with hands, toys, or clamps. But this stuff really comes into its own when combined with oral nipple stimulation. The cool gel combined with a warm mouth makes everything feel much more intense. And since the gel has a sweet taste, it’s not unpleasant for the giver, either! (Assuming they like coconut.)

The Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel is water-based and does not contain any ingredients that are toxic or problematic for topical use. It’s easy to wash off when you’re done and leaves a gentle coconutty smell on the skin.

Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel retails for €16.95.

Some interesting and fun products so far! Stay tuned for part 2 coming next week.

[Lube Review] Lovehoney Caramel Latte Flavoured Lube

It’s been a while since I’ve reviewed a lube, and I’ve certainly never tried a caramel flavored lube until today. But the “12 Days of Lovehoney” campaign is giving me an opportunity to try a few things I might not normally get to. Today, we’re looking at a special limited edition product for the festive season: Lovehoney’s caramel latte lube!

Oh, and check out the rest of the series while you’re here.

Festive Edition: Coffee & Caramel Flavored Lube

Lovehoney’s caramel latte lube is a new seasonal release. It’s a water-based formula that comes in a 100ml (3.4 fl oz) pump bottle. It is the latest edition to Lovehoney’s growing flavoured lubes line.

Lovehoney caramel latte flavoured lube

The bottle bears the signature bubbles design that features on various Lovehoney lubes. In this case, the bubbles and product name are… well, caramel coloured.

Ingredients

This is a water-based lube, and so it is unsurprising that water is the first ingredient on the list.

Let’s take a quick look at the other main ingredients:

  • Sorbitol. This is a sugar alcohol which is generally recognised as safe (including for consumption) in small quantities. However, it’s worth being aware that sugar can cause yeast infections, so exercise caution and maybe avoid this lube if you’re prone to them.
  • Potassium sorbate. This is a preservative that is generally considered safe and is a much better alternative to parabens.
  • Polysorbate 20. This is a non-toxic emulsifier that is added to many water-based cosmetics and skincare products.
  • Diazolidinyl urea. This is an antimicrobial preservative used in many cosmetics. The answer to “is it safe?” seems to be “maybe.” According to The Skincare Chemist, it can cause an allergic reaction. Be careful if you have allergies or sensitivities.
  • Citric acid. This natural preservative is extremely common and is broadly safe, though has been known to cause irritation to some very sensitive people.
  • Sucralose. This common artificial sweetener is essentially a form of sugar. That means it’s another risk for yeast infections if you’re prone to such things.

So what’s the verdict? There’s nothing in here that makes me go “oh hell no!” off the bat, but I’d recommend exercising caution if you have allergies, sensitivities, or are prone to infections.

To be fair, the bottle does specify that the lube is for external use only. For that reason, I recommend keeping it for oral sex only, and keeping it away from any internal areas. If you’re using it for oral, take a minute to rinse off before doing any penetrative play. Switch to a gentle water-based lube for anything involving penetration.

Lovehoney Caramel Latte lube

By the way: this lube is also completely vegan-friendly, as it contains no animal-derived or animal-tested ingredients.

How Does It Taste?

Honestly… not as bad as I expected?

I wasn’t at all convinced I’d like caramel latte flavoured lube, and I confess I rolled my eyes at the concept. Admittedly, I’m kinda against flavoured lube on principle. I don’t generally get on well with anything with artificial flavourings and I find a lot of fruity lubes are either too sickly sweet or just taste like chemicals.

But this one was a not-unpleasant surprise, considering my low expectations. It’s sweet but not overly sickly, and you only need a little bit to get the flavour. It also actually tastes like caramel and coffee. Kind of.

Ultimately, though, I don’t think I’ll have much use for this. Call me old-fashioned but I want my coffee to taste like coffee and my genitals to taste like, well, genitals.

Feel and Clean-Up

The caramel latte lube can get a little sticky if you leave it for too long. I guess that’s due to the sugar-based ingredients. However, it lasts fairly well and I didn’t need to keep re-applying it, which I appreciated.

Hand with caramel latte lube on fingers

As it’s water-based, the caramel latte lube is a breeze to clean up. Just rinse off with some warm water. It also won’t stain your sheets. Water-based lube is compatible with all body-safe sex toy materials including silicone, glass, ABS plastic, stainless steel, and wood.

So Do I Recommend Trying Caramel Flavored Lube?

I wouldn’t suggest caramel latte lube as a bedside staple to use every time you play. For the reasons I’ve mentioned, it’s really only suitable for external use (though oral sex is the entire point of flavoured lubes anyway.) But if you’re not sensitive to any of the ingredients and enjoy a sweet, slightly coffee-ish flavour, it can be a playful stocking stuffer or a fun way to change up your oral sex routine once in a while.

For general use, a gentle unflavoured water-based or silicone-based lube is a better choice.

The Lovehoney caramel latte lube retails for £7.99 from Lovehoney UK.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! Views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this and all my review posts. Want to support the blog? Buying me a coffee (a real one, not a lube that vaguely tastes like one) or sharing my work to Bluesky or Fetlife is a great way to do that!