[Toy Review] Godemiche Grind Ring “Hearts”

Happy Valentine’s Day, loves!

I’m generally not too fussed about Valentine’s Day these days. In non-plague times it’s as good an excuse for a date as any, but I’m not super into the idea of expressing love just because it’s a particular date. I’d rather show my love all year round. With that said, I’ve decided to mark the day in two ways: I’m wearing my “DM Me” heart tights from Snag, and I’m bringing you a review of Godemiche’s new Grind Ring texture, “Hearts”.

What is a Grind Ring and how do you use it?

If you’re new here, you may have missed my previous reviews (part 1 and part 2) of the Grind Ring collection. In Godemiche’s own words:

The Grind Ring is a soft textured piece of body safe silicone that’s shaped like a pizza slice with a bulge for grinding, dare we say it, it’s also more enjoyable then a pizza slice too and way fucking dirtier.

They measure 6 inches in length and 4.3 inches across at the widest point, and feature a stretchy hole for a penis or dildo to fit through at the base.

There are currently six textures available, of which Hearts is the newest addition. I knew I wanted my Hearts Grind Ring in a Valentine’s-themed colour, so I opted for Ruby Rose. It’s a gorgeous and shimmery red/pink, and on the flat back side of the toy you get a beautiful marbling, swirling effect. Here’s what it looks like:

Godemiche Hearts Grind Ring, Valentine's Day sex toy
Back of Godemiche Hearts Grind Ring, Valentine's Day sex toy for women and people with clits

The intended purpose of a Grind Ring is to wear it around the penis or dildo during penetrative sex with someone with a clitoris, so that the receptive partner can grind against it and enjoy additional clitoral stimulation (which, as we know, is essential to reach orgasm for a significant majority of cis women and other people with vulvas).

However, as I’ve discovered, there are numerous other ways to enjoy this toy. While it’s certainly fun to use during P-in-V sex with my partner, I actually mostly use my Grind Rings by placing them on a firm surface (my desk chair is ideal) and grinding against it from a seated position. I also regularly use them as an accessory for hand sex, as that allows me to feel all the lovely texture while having finer control over the pressure and angle. Other good options include using it with a dildo for solo sex, or placing it over the head of a powerful wand vibrator.

As always, the only “right” way to use a toy is the way that feels right for you.

Texture: Hearts

So the Hearts Grind Ring is obviously cute as fuck. But how does it feel in use? I had a feeling I was going to get along well with this one as soon as I saw it, and I wasn’t disappointed. The hearts are sufficiently raised to provide a unique, and moderately intense, sensation. For a point of comparison, I’d describe the Hearts texture as less intense than the Spikes texture but more intense than the Waves or Bumps.

Due to the shape of the hearts, I find this Grind Ring is more intense on the downward motion than on the upward motion. The smooth silicone, coupled with the deeply ridged texture, is divine when paired with tonnes of lube. Of all the Grind Ring textures I’ve now tried, the Hearts is the one that gets me off the most quickly and the most consistently.

I’d recommend this one to people who enjoy firm pressure with their clitoral stimulation. It’s as functional as it is pretty and I’m a little bit in love.

Pro tip: I like to put a little clitoral balm on the toy itself for added intensity.

Verdict

Definitely a toy that’s not just for Valentine’s Day! I just received my Hearts Grind Ring a few days ago and it’s fast becoming an absolute favourite.

You know what else I love about these toys? Apart from the fact that they feel amazing, that is. As far as I can tell, there really isn’t anything else quite like this on the market. Genuine innovation is pretty rare in this industry, where copycat products and occasionally blatant design stealing are rampant. And oftentimes, when a sex toy is original in design, it’s also… kind of terrible. So to come across something that’s both actually innovative and actually good is a breath of fresh air.

The Hearts Grind Ring retails for £34.99. Get one for yourself or your favourite clit owner. You won’t regret it.

Thanks to Godemiche for sending me this product to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. Buying through my links helps to keep the blog going at no additional cost to you. All views, as always, are mine.

[Lingerie Review] Lovehoney Tiger Lily Red Floral Lace Body

This is the final review in my series looking at Lovehoney’s 2022 Valentine’s Day lingerie offerings. With seven days to go, you’ve still got plenty of time to shop if you want to treat your loved one, or yourself, to some sexy Valentine’s lingerie. Today we’re looking at another piece from the Tiger Lily range : the Tiger Lily Red Floral Lace Body.

Tiger Lily Red Floral Lace Body: Style and Aesthetics

The Tiger Lily Lace Body is a one-piece bodysuit made from floral lace and mesh (polyamide/polyester/elastane) in a vibrant shade of red. I’ve already gushed about how much I love this fabric, and I still do. It’s eye-catchingly bright, flirtatious and femme, and the tiny flecks of silvery thread in the lace make it shimmer as it catches the light.

Close up of Lovehoney lingerie red lace bodysuit

The Tiger Lily Lace Body features a wide waistband adorned with a Lovehoney heart insignia, a plunging neckline with strappy detailing, criss-cross back straps, and poppers at the crotch for easy access.

Thiis piece’s shape works brilliantly for my body. It draws attention to the parts I’m most comfortable with (waist curve and cleavage) while pulling the eye away from the parts I don’t love so much (stomach). The slightly higher cut on the leg helps make my short legs look a little longer, and the scalloped edging is a really beautiful detail.

Woman in red lace body from Lovehoney Valentine's Day lingerie range

The Tiger Lily Lace Body is gorgeous on its own and makes a real statement. You could also pair it with the matching mask and cuffs set (which I reviewed last week), a pair of fishnet stockings and some killer heels, or a pair of red satin gloves for a sophisticated twist.

Comfort and Fit

The Tiger Lily Lace Body comes in two different sizes: One Size (UK 8-16) and One Size Queen (UK 18-24). I’m currently a size 12 and the One Size fits me well, and would easily work for a size or two bigger or smaller as well.

The Tiger Lily bodysuit is adjustable in a number of places for a more comfortable fit. The shoulder straps and back strap are easily adjustable with sliders, and two rows of poppers offer two sizing options for the crotch. The fabric is stretchy and the waistband even more so.

Back view of red lace bodysuit

Best of all, this bodysuit style is big bust friendly! The overwhelming majority of wired lingerie at remotely affordable price points, however much I love it, is simply not suitable for someone with a G-cup chest. I either end up with wires jabbing me painfully in the ribs, boob spilling over the top or out of the sides of the cups, or both. That’s why I tend to gravitate towards non-wired pieces with more fabric – they offer greater coverage and everything stays in place far better.

Another advantage of non-wired lingerie, of course, is comfort. The Tiger Lily Lace Body’s material is soft and non-scratchy, something I can’t overstate the importance of. In other words, it’s an item I could wear all night without either constant readjusting or wanting to claw my skin off because it’s so itchy.

Verdict

The Tiger Lily Lace Body is my absolute favourite from Lovehoney’s Valentine’s Day line this year (and that’s saying something – it’s a strong range overall!) The fabric is beautiful, the colour is gorgeous, and the shape is perfect for my body. It’s also easy to wear and comfortable enough to flaunt all night long.

Yes, yes, and yes. I’m going to get a lot of wear out of this one.

The Tiger Lily Red Floral Lace Body retails for £32.99.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Tiger Lily lace bodysuit along with various other items for review. All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Lingerie Review] Lovehoney Lotus Embroidered Black Chemise Set

I was really spoiled for choice with this year’s Lovehoney Valentine’s Day lingerie offerings. Between the flirty red Tiger Lily range, the sophisticated blue Orchid range, and now the classic and sexy black Lotus range, there were so many beautiful things to pick from. I decided to branch out and try something I wouldn’t normally pick up – namely the Lotus Embroidered Black Chemise Set.

Lotus Take a Closer Look

The Embroidered Black Chemise Set comes with two pieces: the chemise itself and a matching thong. The chemise features wired quarter cups, bra-style back clasp and straps, and removeable panels to cover your nipples. Its waistband and removeable panels are made of beautiful semi see-through lace with floral embroidery, and the skirt is made of a soft and swishy polyester/elastane blend. The matching thong features a sexy lace panel at the front and a 100% cotton gusset.

Lotus Embroidered Black Chemise from Lovehoney Valentine's Day lingerie

Black lingerie never goes out of style. Though this is part of the Valentine’s Day lingerie line, it’s really a timeless style that will look fabulous any night of the year. The floral lace adds a fun and femme touch, and the hint of skin between the bra cup and lace panel ups the sexiness.

Close up of Lovehoney embroidered black chemise lace

I also really love the shape of this piece. I’m confident about my waist and less confident about my stomach, and this chemise emphasises the former while drawing attention away from the latter.

Fit and Comfort

The Lotus Embroidered Black Chemise Set comes in sizes from UK6 up to UK30. I received the Medium (UK10/12 equivalent). Unfortunately, every time I order an item of lingerie with underwires, I remember why I usually don’t. While the rest of the piece fits me well, hugging my waist and reaching just to the bottom of my butt, the cups are far, far too small.

Woman in black lace chemise from Lovehoney Valentine's lingerie range

I understand that lingerie like this can’t come in every possible permutation of body size + cup size. That’d make each item unreasonably expensive and probably result in a lot of unsold stock. Unfortunately, this reality means that designers have to make some assumptions regarding average cup sizes in relation to body size. And I’m aware that my size 12 frame/G cup boobs combo isn’t exactly typical. The result, though, is that the overwhelming majority of lingerie with wires just isn’t going to work for my body.

I can sort of get the Lotus Embroidered Black Chemise to work for me with some very careful adjustment to how the quarter cups and embroidered panels sit. But even then, things keep slipping out of place, meaning that either my boobs fall out or I get poked in the ribcage with a wire that’s really too small for my chest.

The Lotus Embroidered Black Chemise is adjustable in a couple of places. The bra clasp features 3 settings, and you can make the straps longer or shorter to suit you. There’s a good amount of stretch to the thong’s waistband, too, so that should work for most bodies that fall within the size range.

Comfort-wise, I have no complaints beyond the sizing issues. The mesh skirt is super soft and the lace is skin-friendly and non scratchy.

Verdict

Beautiful… as long as your boobs will fit in it! If you’re small to average chested, this is a gorgeous piece in a classic, sexy design. If you’re larger chested, though, I can’t wholeheartedly recommend it as you’re likely to encounter the same fit issues as I did.

I really wish this one worked for me, because I really do love the style. Unfortunately, I think I’ll be passing it on to a smaller-chested friend, and continuing to gravitate towards more boob-friendly styles such as bodysuits and wireless pieces.

The Lotus Embroidered Black Chemise Set retails for £44.99.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this piece in exchange for an honest review. All views, as always, are mine.

[Kink Product Review] Lovehoney Tiger Lily Lace Cuffs and Eye Mask Set

For today’s mini review, we’re looking at another product from Lovehoney’s 2022 Valentine’s Day lingerie. The Tiger Lily range consists of six designs. I’ll also be reviewing the bodysuit next week, so keep an eye out for that! Today, though, we’re looking at the Tiger Lily Lace Cuffs and Eye Mask Set.

The Lace Cuffs and Mask Set consists of two wrist cuffs and one eye mask, all made of the same bright red floral lace and mesh and fastening with tie-up red ribbons. The colour is gorgeous and the lace is super pretty. I particularly like that there’s tiny flecks of silvery thread in the lace so it catches the light and shimmers when you move.

Lovehoney Tiger Lily red lace cuffs set

Each cuff is elasticated around one opening, and the eye mask is elasticated along the top, meaning they’ll stretch to fit many wearers. The fit is comfortable, though I’ve found that the cuffs do tend to ride up after a while, meaning I need to readjust them periodically. If you’re in a bigger body, I’d hesitate to recommend these cuffs. I’m a size 12 and the elastic digs into my forearm just enough to be… not exactly uncomfortable, but definitely noticeable. The fabric is soft and doesn’t scratch or irritate my skin.

Tiger Lily red lace eye mask bondage blindfold

The Tiger Lily Lace Cuffs and Eye Mask Set is really more about aesthetics than function. The eye mask really doesn’t block the light or obstruct vision very much at all. It’s more “masquerade ball” than “sensory deprivation”. I’d recommend a padded blindfold if you’re after the latter. And while the cuffs’ ribbons make them ideal for tying together (say to restrain your lover’s hands behind their back, for example), I wouldn’t use them for tying someone to the bed or any other kind of more intense bondage activity. They’re just too delicate and I’d be worried about ripping them. If you want to actually tie someone up or get tied up, consider a set of safe bondage cuffs instead.

The Tiger Lily Lace Cuffs and Eye Mask Set is beautiful, but I’m hesitant to call it functional. And that’s not really a criticism – as a femme, I’m very in favour of beauty for the sake of beauty. So if you want to engage in actual sensory deprivation or bondage play? I’d look elsewhere. They really are very pretty, though…

The set retails for £9.99. It makes a lovely stand-alone Valentine’s gift, and also pairs beautifully with any of the other pieces in the Tiger Lily range. Another option? Wear it with a set of black lingerie to add a touch of fun and colour to your ensemble.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Tiger Lily Lace Cuffs and Eye Mask Set to review! All views, as always, are mine.

The Love Stories That Weren’t

I don’t believe in “The One”. I’m a hopeless romantic, yes, but I’m also something of a realist. The mere fact that there are nearly seven billion people on this planet makes it absurd to me to think that there is exactly one person designed for everyone to love. I mean…

“It’s just mathematically unlikely that at a university in Perth
I happened to stumble upon the one girl on Earth
Specifically designed for me!”

– Tim Minchin, “If I Didn’t Have You

Aside from the sheer numerical absurdity of the idea, my own experience shows that “The One” just isn’t a meaningful concept. I’ve loved a number of people in my life. Not all of them were healthy for me – some were pretty terrible – but the love I felt? That was real. And it isn’t retroactively less real because I don’t love them any more.

I say that Mr CK is the love of my life, and that’s true. But that doesn’t mean he’s the only person I’ve ever loved or could ever love. It doesn’t mean I think we were somehow predestined to find each other and be together. It means that in this chaotic world, we did find each other and he’s the person I have chosen to spend my life with – to walk hand-in-hand with along the path of life, hopefully until one of us runs out of heartbeats.

Don’t you think the idea of choice, of choosing each other again and again every day, week, month and year, is more romantic that a notion of some pre-determined fate? I do.

I’m also very aware that, for all the people I’ve loved or been in relationship with in my life, there are others which could have happened, and didn’t for whatever reason. So this is for the almosts, the maybes, the “right person, wrong time”s. The love stories that weren’t.

There was the one who was my first “what if…?” We were seventeen and I was already in a relationship. I didn’t have any kind of language for non-monogamous feelings, so I thought I was bad and wrong because I couldn’t stop thinking about someone while in a relationship with someone else. I don’t think he ever realised his crush on me was reciprocated. We’re friends to this day and he was one of the first people I ever came out to as bisexual.

There was the one who was significantly more fundamentally-monogamous than I am. We knew it had no long-term potential, but we were powerfully drawn to each other anyway. He and I danced around each other, kissing and pseudo-dating and doing kinky play and pretending it was all very casual, for the better part of two years. At one point, we were talking on the phone almost every night. He used to call me Kitten. I used to say “I love you” after he’d hung up.

There was the one I got on a train and traveled six hours, on little more than a whim, to meet. This woman who looked like a 1950s pin-up model and kissed me with lips that tasted of green tea. I was recently out of my first same-sex relationship and exercising the age-old wisdom that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. She was curious, and her husband graciously gave her a one-night pass with me. I just wish I’d known the pass was only for one night.

Then there was the one with whom the chemistry was so intense and so immediate that I felt the zing from across the room. Though ultimately it amounted to little more than a single very hot scene, it’s a memory I cherish.

There was the one who I shared just one incredible date with. I remember looking at him across the table of my favourite Thai restaurant, wishing I could pour the moment into the empty wine bottle, cork it and keep it forever. I never did learn why he ghosted me afterwards. That one hurt for a long time.

I don’t like the concept of “the one who got away”. It has too many weird implications for me – and, again, is too tied into this notion of There Can Be Only One Real Ultimate Love. I prefer to think about it in the sense of how much possibility there is in the world. None of us, even the most polyamorous, could ever possibly explore every single possible love that might theoretically be out there in the world for us.

But isn’t that abundance of possibility just wonderful?

[Wearable Review] Hot For You Lingerie by Lovehoney

Update 03/03/22: this product has been discontinued.

We all know by now, don’t we, that I am a whimsical romantic? So how could I resist some cutesy Valentine’s-themed lingerie? Hot For You is Lovehoney’s 2020 Valentine’s offering.

Things are heating up…

Hot For You consists of three sets: a bra and knickers set available in standard and plus sizes, and a thong designed for people with penises. They are all black and feature small decorative accents (hearts on the bra sets, flames on the thong) which start off black and turn to red as your body temperature rises. Cute, no?

Plus size model wearing the Hot For You lingerie from Lovehoney. For 2020 Valentine's gift guide

I got sent the Hot For You bra set to try out…

I heart this look

Aesthetically I’m really into this range. It’s playful and just a touch on the silly side without being excessively twee or over-the-top. Black is my preferred colour of choice for lingerie most of the time, and the heart accents are super cute.

Close up of a male body in the Hot For You flame design thong

(Though I wish they’d made the flame design thong for folks with vulvas too – the idea of a colour-changing fire icon over my junk just amuses me on a deep level for some reason.

Does the colour-change function actually work?

Yep!

So my house tends to get Extremely Fucking Cold at this time of year. Therefore, the first time I tried these pieces on, I… erm, blasted a hairdryer at my tits for a few seconds. (The things I do for you guys and journalism, honestly!) The hearts changed colour almost immediately in the warmth.

I later tried them on again when I wasn’t quite so cold, and they did change nicely as my body temperature warmed up.

So, yes, it does what it says on the tin.

Comfort and Fit

Yet again, these pieces are listed as “One Size.” The standard is supposed to fit sizes 8 – 16, and the plus is supposed to fit sizes 18 – 24. The bra and knickers actually are very adjustable; the bands are made of an elasticated satin material and are also length-adjustable. The bra is a halter-neck design, so be aware of that. If you find it difficult to tie things behind you, you might want to get someone to help you.

Though these pieces function as “One Size” better than many I’ve tried, I still have the familiar recurring problem: my boobs don’t really fit. The standard bra and knickers set fits me quite nicely (I’m about a size 14 right now,) but really barely contained my probably-an-F-cup boobs at all. The spilling-out look can be fun if that’s your sort of thing, but I prefer a bit more coverage unless I’m intentionally going for revealing.

A close up of a person with large breasts wearing the Hot For You bra

The standard Hot For You set is really designed for folks who are more like an A – D cup. It’s frustrating that lingerie designs always assume that bigger body = bigger boobs, which isn’t true at all! Some people wear a size 8 but have F-cup boobs. Some people are plus-size but have small boobs! This is always going to be an issue in “One Size” pieces, which is why I generally wish that making sexy lingerie based on actual measurements (i.e. cup and band sizes) was more of a thing.

(Though, I have to admit, my partners were in favour of the “boobs falling out” look.)

The bra provides next to no actual support, but… I mean, it’s not like I was going jogging in it, and I don’t wear bras most of the time anyway, so *shrug.*

The sizing issue notwithstanding, the Hot For You set gets good marks for comfort. The mesh material is soft and non-scratchy, and the stretchy satin bands feel nice against the skin. There are no wires or boning, so nothing to dig in or pinch.

Final thoughts

A cute and inexpensive Valentine’s day gift – for your lover or yourself! (Fun idea: wear this set to bed and see how long it takes your lover to notice that the hearts or flames are changing colour!)

The Hot For You bra sets both retail for £19.99, and the thong is £14.99.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this piece in exchange for an honest review! Affiliate links are contained within this post. All views are mine. Selfie is by me, other pics are by Lovehoney and used with permission.

Love-Letters to People I’ll Never Fuck

It’s Valentine’s Day! However you feel about the Day of Love (and I know there’s a lot of feelings out there about it,) we can’t deny that it’s culturally ubiquitous and impossible to escape. This day has long been associated with hearts, flowers, chocolates, elaborate proposals and quintessentially romantic love.

Now, I love Valentine’s Day. I love it because I love love. But as a polyamorous person – and just as a human being with lots of important people in my life – I believe in not only many loves but many kinds of love.

So today I want to celebrate some of the most important non-romantic and non-sexual loves in my life. People I’m not fucking and not in hearts-and-flowers love with, but who have had a profound impact on my life in some way and to whom I can comfortably say I love you.

One.

You are my best friend and I love you. People talk about an instant connection that then stands the test of time in a romantic context, but with you it was instead the kind of friendship that comes when you meet a kindred soul.

You’ve always been the person I know I can call in the middle of the night; the person I can confess the most personal things to without judgement; the person who has been there for me, through thick and thin, through university and work and moves across the country and bad decisions and terrible boyfriends. And you’re also the person I have more fun with than almost anyone. When we hang out, I can briefly be 19 again.

I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re one in a million, and I don’t even care how corny that is. You’re one of the best people I’ve ever known and had the privilege to call a friend.

Two.

You were a surprise. I’ve never clicked with a metamour as fast or as easily as I did with you, nor have I ever had such a profoundly positive relationship with one.

You make me feel welcomed and valued in a situation where my experience has usually been one of being pushed to the side, grudgingly tolerated at best, constantly reminded of my place at the bottom of the priority heap. You didn’t do any of that – you were the opposite.

I am in awe of your wisdom, your kindness, your generosity, your strength and your spirit.

One of the best things about the many great things about being in a relationship with The Artist is that I get to be metamours with you. Thank you for doing so much to restore my faith in this little thing we call “polyamory”.

Three.

You have the honour of “oldest friend I’m still actively friends with” at this point. I don’t know if I ever thanked you properly for everything you did for me when we were growing up. In a world that terrified me and a life I didn’t want to be in much of the time, you were one of the people who stood steadfastly by my side and didn’t really care that I was a socially unacceptable person to hang around with.

You were always wise beyond your years and kind beyond the life experiences you’d had.

Four.

We might have drifted into very minimal contact – unsurprising, I suppose, given 14 years (half my life, fucking hell) and 12,000 miles. But I haven’t forgotten a single minute.

You probably saved my life. Did I ever tell you that? I still believe we’ll meet again, though I don’t know when or where or how, but even if we don’t…

You’re with me like a handprint on my heart.

Five.

I don’t pretend to understand you – I spent years trying to puzzle you out, but eventually I realised that you’ll always be something of an enigma to me.

I was a little bit in love with you, once upon a time. Of course I knew it would never come to anything (that pesky “you being straight” thing was a hindrance if nothing else!) but it was never supposed to. You taught me how to love freely even from a place of complete confusion.

You drift in and out of my life, each time different and yet somehow always kind of the same. I rarely know what’s actually going on in your life any more, but whenever we do end up thrown back together there’s always nothing but love there. And for that, I am grateful.

So that’s me, folks. Tell me about your non-sexual loves this Valentine’s day?

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How to Buy Your Lover a Sex Toy for Valentine’s Day

I kind of love Valentine’s Day. I know it’s a manufactured commercial holiday, but at its heart it is a celebration of love – and I am in favour of there being more love and expressions of love in the world.

Flowers and chocolates might be more traditional, but I think that a sex toy they’ll really love is a super romantic gift for Valentine’s Day. Sex is a massive part of many loving romantic relationships, and we could all use more pleasure in our lives. Giving your partner the ideal sex toy is a great way to make them feel seen and loved and to show that you’re invested in their sexual fulfillment.

There is one huge, enormous caveats to this, namely:

ONLY DO THIS FOR ESTABLISHED SEXUAL PARTNERS. Don’t buy your office crush or that cutie who makes your coffee a sex toy. That’s creepy.

So how do you ensure your sexy gift lands right? Here’s some tips…

Most importantly, take note of their preferences, desires and fantasies.

Is your partner a girth lover? Do they really need intense clitoral stimulation to get off? Are they all about their cock, or super into anal play? Do they love dual stimulation, or do they prefer to focus on a single sensation at a time? You need to know these basic things about your lover’s body before you can successfully buy them a toy.

Aesthetic preferences matter here, too. For some people, something pink might go down brilliantly. Others hate the colour and want nothing to do with it. Case in point: I was already MEGA impressed when Mr CK bought me a Doxy for my birthday the first year we were together. The fact that it was purple, my favourite colour, just emphasised that he’d really been paying attention to my likes.

This stuff isn’t hard to pick up. You just need to be paying attention.

That’s THEIR preferences!

In order for this to be successful, you need to buy your partner a toy you think they will really love – which might not be the same thing as buying one that you really want to watch them use. There’s no use buying them a massive dildo if they’re all about clitoral stimulation, for example. However much you fantasise about watching them fuck themselves silly, the thing is just going to gather dust in a drawer if it doesn’t turn them on.

If you’re not sure: ask.

You can ask this overtly, if you want – “babe, I’d love to buy you a fabulous sex toy for Valentine’s Day. How does that sound? Anything you’ve particularly got your eye on?” But if you want it to be a surprise, you’ll have to do some subtler sleuthing. As part of a more general conversation about fantasies, desires and new things to try (you are having these conversations, right??) you can ask them if there’s any particular activities or toys they’d super love to try. If you ever visit sex shops together (do this, it’s a fab date activity) or browse products online together, see what they gravitate towards.

If you’re STILL not sure, let them choose!

Loads of stores, both brick-and-mortar and online, now offer gift vouchers to be redeemed on sexy purchases. Why not buy them a voucher for your local feminist sex shop and go together, or a Lovehoney voucher and spend a fun date evening browsing and choosing something together?

Pro tip: skip “gift bundles.”

Bundles of several toys together are tempting because they come with several items and seem really well priced. Unfortunately, they tend to be cheap because they tend to suck. It’s much better to buy one really good quality toy from a reputable retailer and with a decent warranty. “Gift bundles” are often full of jelly, phthalate-ridden crap with terrible motors that will break in five minutes. Give them a miss.

Have a great Valentine’s Day. May you all be blessed with love and, if applicable, orgasms aplenty.

Affiliate links are contained in this post. Buying from my affiliates supports me and helps keep the blog going. All opinions my own, as always!

Bringing Extra Sexy Into Your Life with Lingerie

Update 31.12.2019: Twisted Lingerie, the sponsors of this post, have now closed down. I have removed the broken links but left this piece up for informational purposes. 

As regular readers of the blog will know, I’m a pretty recent lingerie convert. Being a shortish, curvy girl who does NOT in any way resemble a Victoria’s Secret model, and has a general aversion to things like frills and excessive lace, I’d kinda decided it wasn’t for me. I was convinced otherwise when I was gifted a beautiful piece to review and realised I looked, and felt, like an absolute babe in it.

Valentine’s Day is coming up – the time for bringing out those basques, those little slips of latex and lace, to seduce your lover. But apart from the obvious (“wear it to bed and fuck your partner’s brains out”), how can you use lingerie to add a little extra sizzle of sexiness to your life?

Wear it under your work clothes.

If, like me, you’re a “practical undies” type of person the majority of the time, try wearing something really naughty under your work clothes one day. No-one else will know, but you’ll have an extra bounce in your step all day as you feel the sumptuous fabrics against your skin.

Pro tip: do this the day of a big meeting or presentation. You’ll stand taller and speak more confidently because you’ll be feeling gorgeous. Who says “power dressing” can’t be sexy?

Go shopping with your partner.A thin white woman in the Xenia Boudoir Set, a black mesh babydoll with a strap bra.

Whether this is a trip to your local lingerie store, or sitting at the computer together and lusting over sexy pieces like Twisted Lingerie’s stunning bondage-themed collection, make shopping for lingerie (for one or both of you!) a fun date activity with your partner. Whether you buy anything or not is up to you, but trying pieces on – or just imagining your lover in that fabulous bra or babydoll – is bound to get some lusty feelings flowing.

Dress out of your comfort zone.

Stepping out of our comfort zones can be an empowering and enlightening experience. This includes how we dress and what we think of as our aesthetic. Case in point: I didn’t think fancy lacey lingerie was my thing at all… until I tried it.

If you’re on the more femme end of the spectrum, try wearing something masculine-of-centre for a change, and vice-versa. If you normally go for frills, try something with harder lines or a more minimalist style. Pick out a colour or a pattern or a style you’d never typically wear. You might be surprised at how babely you feel!

A thin white woman in the Xenia Goddess set, an elaborate black strap and mesh lingerie set.Wear it while you masturbate.

This might sound a bit goofy, but stick with me. Masturbation is sex with your longest and most enduring sexual partner: yourself. If you’d dress up for a night in with a partner, why not occasionally dress up for a night in with yourself (and your favourite vibrator, if that’s your jam)? Feeling attractive and hot, even if no-one else is going to see it, is one of the ways I tap into my erotic energy. Looking in the mirror and going “yes, I would” makes me want to, well… do all kinds of things to my sexy self.

Take a hot selfie…

…or ten. There’s nothing like a sexy selfie to make you feel like an absolute babe. You don’t have to share it with anyone (though you can, if you like! Send it to a partner or even upload it to your blog, Instagram, Tumblr or Fetlife if you’re feeling daring). But just the act of putting on some beautiful lingerie, playing with lighting and filters and angles to get the perfect shot and then admiring the pics, will remind you what a gorgeous creature you are.

Tweet me: how do you bring extra sexiness into your life with lingerie?

This post was generously sponsored by the lovely folks at Twisted Lingerie. They’re a small start-up and have some absolutely gorgeous pieces. (They’ve also sent me a review item from their collection, so look out for that in the coming days). All opinions are, and will always be, my own.

All images are property of Twisted Lingerie and reproduced here with their permission.

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[Toy Review] Godemiche Be My Valentine Ambit

I’ve been a Godemiche fangirl ever since I first encountered their beautiful, unique, colourful and fun dildos at Eroticon last year. So imagine my delight when they, via the always-wonderful Molly, offered me and my bits an early peek at their new Be My Valentine design.

The Be My Valentine Ambit is white and purple, and sparkly with little hearts. I squealed so hard when I took it out of the delivery box and ran upstairs to show it to Mr CK, who was quite bemused at how delighted I was.

Facts ‘n’ Figures

The toy’s diameter is about 1.6″ at the widest point, and the total insertable length is about six inches. It’s got a large, round base which makes it harness-compatible and also anal-safe. (Can we just talk for a minute about how much I want to put this into my strap-on and fuck another cute femme with it!? Because seriously.)

My ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★★
The Be My Valentine Ambit is a limited-edition toy and will be retailing for £35, which is an absolute steal for a hand-poured silicone dildo of this quality!

Appearance: ★★★★★
My inner femme is squealing with delight at this toy. Look at it! It’s glittery with little purple hearts! I love it so much I want to put it out as a display item almost as much as I want to stick it in my genitals.

Feel: ★★★★★
The Be My Valentine Ambit is made of beautiful matte silicone, which is nice and soft as well as flexible. The curve of the shaft and bulge at the head somewhat mimics a bio-cock. The tip’s angle is just right to deliver glorious pressure to my G-spot.

I also found this dildo to be the perfect size for me. I’m not much of a size-queen, especially where length is concerned (my entire genital area will pack up and go “NOPE” if anything hits my cervix) but I like to feel pleasantly full, and the Be My Valentine Ambit delivered in that regard. Combined with my Doxy on my clit, it gave me an explosive orgasm.

Ease of Use: ★★★★★
The base fits neatly in my hand, making it super easy to hold and manipulate. It slid in smoothly with just a coating of water-based lube and is delightfully simple and comfortable to use.

Care, Cleaning & Body Safety: ★★★★
All Godemiche dildos are made from premium quality silicone, which is non-toxic and non-porous, meaning it’s completely body safe and should last for years if properly cared for.

Clean-up is easy. You can wash silicone dildos with soap and water, wipe them clean with a sterile medical wipe, or boil them in a pan of water for a few minutes to sterilise completely. Being basically penis-shape, it’s the perfect shape to use with a condom if you’re sharing it. Silicone is safe to use with both latex and latex-free condoms.

Overall score: ★★★★★
From my perspective at least, this toy is basically perfection in dildo form. If you are (or if you know) a #SparkleFemme then you need this in your life.

Thank you to Godemiche for sending me this toy in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are, and will always be, my own. Please support small businesses like Godemiche by buying their products, and if you’d like to support my work I will gladly take a virtual coffee.

Photo is by Godemiche and reproduced with permission.