Tag: gift ideas

Header image for romantic and sexy gift ideas guide for Christmas

6 Romantic and Sexy Gift Ideas for Your Partner This Holiday Season

Published on by Amy

Have you finished your holiday shopping yet? No, me neither (though I’m doing better than I typically have been at this point in previous years.) Giving gifts isn’t super high on my list of love languages, but I do enjoy the process of choosing – or making – the perfect presents for my loved ones.

If you have a romantic partner or partners, you might be thinking about getting them something special to show your love, give them the pleasure they deserve, or add to your amazing sex life together.

Six Sexy Gift Ideas Your Partner Will Love

From sex toys to sexy trips and more, I’ve put together 6 romantic yet sexy gift ideas to get you inspired.

Something they’ll feel sexy wearing

I nearly put “lingerie or underwear” as the heading for this section, then I changed my mind. Because what makes a person feel beautiful, handsome, or sexy is very personal and might not be what we traditionally think of as “sexy.”

For some, that thing will be a set of lacy lingerie or slinky underwear. For others it might be a perfectly tailored shirt, a sparkly gown, a pair of sky-high heels, a silk tie, or even a fragrance or piece of jewellery. The trick is to know your partner and their tastes. Not sure? You can always take them shopping so you can choose something perfect together.

A beautiful sex toy

Sex toys can be as beautiful as they are functional, and some of them are real works of art. They can be made of materials from silicone and glass to metal, ceramic, and even some types of stone. They come in all colours, shapes, sizes, and designs you can imagine. Some even have glitter!

A gorgeous toy can be a wonderfully luxurious gift to show your partner that you’re thinking about their pleasure. Just make sure you know them well enough to choose something that will work for their body and preferences.

Giving red roses to your lover is traditional, so – if they have a clitoris – how about a red rose suction toy? This viral sensation is body-safe, rechargeable, waterproof… and cute as hell.

Massage oils or candles

Giving each other massages is a wonderful way to connect physically, get close whether or not the massage leads to sex, and tune into each other’s bodies. You can step things up a notch by adding oils, candles, or massagers into the mix. These can make great stocking-filler gifts!

Create a romantic atmosphere by dimming the lights – I like candles, fairy lights, or lamps with a warm soft glow for this – and, if you like, playing some gentle and relaxing music.

A sexy subscription box

Subscription boxes are the gifts that keep on giving. Depending on how long you subscribe, your partner can enjoy regular treats for 3, 6, 12 months… or even longer. They can also be a great way to explore new ideas, rekindle a spark if your sex life has dwindled lately, or just set aside intentional time for each other and your intimate relatioship.

There are now adult subscription boxes in all kinds of categories. You’ll find boxes with sex toys, lingerie, smutty literature, kink and BDSM gear, date night kits, and more. Some are designed with couples in mind, and others can be enjoyed solo. I even stumbled across one designed specifically for polyamorous triads!

A new collar

This one’s for the kinksters! For many who are involved in BDSM or a D/s relationship, collars are both intensely personal and intensely meaningful. That means that this isn’t something you should spring on someone without warning. Always have a conversation about what collars mean, whether you want them to play a role in your relationship, and the expectations and obligations that they do and do not imply.

With that caveat out of the way, if collars have a place in your relationship then a new one can be a wonderful and romantic gift for your submissive partner. With everything from ornate showpieces to simple metal bands and even totally discreet day collars available, there are plenty of options to choose from.

A romantic getaway

If you’re looking to splash out (or can find an incredible last-minute deal) why not surprise your loved one with a romantic trip together… or choose and book it together as a gift to each other?

A change of scene, having an adventure, and getting a long stretch quality time together are amongst the best things you can do to nurture your relationship no matter whether you’re newly in love or have been together for decades.

Pro tip: plan to go early in the new year if that’s possible for your schedule and budget. Me and my girlfriend are going on our first holiday together in January. December is busy and January tends to suck, so planning something wonderful to look forward to post-Christmas is a strategy I would highly recommend!

Do you have any favourite sexy gift ideas to share? Pop them in the comments if so.

Thanks to Inyarose for kindly sponsoring this post. All writing and views, as always, are mine.

A wrapped present. For a post on the love language of giving and receiving gifts

The Kinky Love Languages: Giving & Receiving Gifts

Published on by Amy1 Comment

I started this series months ago with Words of Affirmation and then it fell by the wayside along with many other things as I coped with the overall garbage fire that was 2019. But we’re back and today we’re talking the love language of gifts! Let’s go. (And if you don’t know your love language, take the quiz to find out!)

A content warning that this post does discuss spending money, so if that’s difficult or stressful for you please feel free to skip this one. I have tried to be mindful of different budgets and provide a range of options for each suggestion.

Giving and receiving gifts is often regarded as the poor cousin to the other four main love languages. Those who feel an affinity with this method of showing and receiving love tend to be derided as materialistic, shallow, or throwing money at a relationship in lieu of actually making an effort.

However, I believe that is unfair. The people I’ve spoken to for whom this is a primary love language take care to point out that it’s not about the money spent or the value of the gift. Instead, it’s about the love and affection that goes into picking out the perfect thing for your partner.

The “gifts” in this context do not have to be big, expensive and extravagant presents – nor probably, in most instances, should they be. This love language is about paying attention to the things your partner loves or what they need, and giving them things that reflect that care and attention. Buying their favourite brand of tea before they sleep over, bringing them a bar of chocolate after a bad day, or picking up a cute trinket you saw for £1 because it made you think of them all come under the “giving and receiving gifts” love-language umbrella.

So how can this one relate to kinky dynamics?

How to love a submissive whose love language is gifts

In my experience, very often what submissives want more than anything is to feel truly seen and known by their Dominants. Another thing that is very often important to submissives is to feel taken care of. The love language of gifts gives you, as a Dominant, tonnes of opportunity to provide for these basic and important needs.

So pay attention to what your submissive likes! Listen for cues, watch the things they lust after or buy for themselves. Take note of things like any favourite colours, foods, hobbies or artists. That way, when you have cause to buy them a present – for a special occasion or “just because” – you can get them something really perfect.

Is your submissive always working hard and barely taking time for themselves? You could give them a gift which says “I’m giving you permission to relax” – say, a nice bath bomb or the latest issue of their favourite magazine? Perhaps the heating in their apartment is wonky, so you buy them a big snuggly blanket to keep them warm on cold days. Have they been wanting to write more? A beautiful notebook might be the perfect present.

Sexy gifts are also a great option, if your relationship includes sex! Why not surprise your submissive with a new vibrator, masturbator, or super pretty dildo? They’ll think of you fondly every time they use it!

Finally, consider the meaning of gifts that signify your relationship and importance to each other. You’ll need to negotiate its meaning fully, of course, and I don’t advocate springing this on someone without discussion – but for many submissives, their collar will be the most precious gift they ever receive. If that’s not right for your relationship (or they already have one,) then other options might be a special piece of jewellery, a harness, some beautiful underwear, or even a kink toy that is only for the two of you to use together.

How to love a Dominant whose love language is gifts

A good way to think of this is to frame the idea of giving the perfect gifts to your Dominant as an act of service. Many Doms love the idea of a submissive who pays attention and can anticipate their needs. Notice what their favourite snacks are and make sure you have them in. Bring them a coffee when you meet them at the end of a long day. Stressed out Dom? Buy massage oil and read up on how to give a really good massage. As with any other partner, keep notes on their favourite things and use this knowledge to guide your gift-giving.

A way to take this a step further, if you’re so inclined, is to make it your mission to seek out something special for them that they haven’t been able to get. Is there a book they really want that’s out of print, an edition of a game that’s no longer made, or a limited edition version of something that would make their eyes light up? If you have the chance, making an extra effort in this way can be a profound show of love – and service.

Kinky toys and tools are absolutely ideal gifts to give Dominants, too. Pay attention to what things they pick up and admire when you go to the fetish market together, or what things they’ve mentioned they really want to try. File this information away for later then, when you have occasion to give them a gift, you can surprise them with something that they’ll get endless joy out of using (on you, naturally.) Have you ever given a sadist a new whip as a present? I recommend it.

And kinky presents don’t have to stop at physical things. What about a ticket to a kink event you’ve been wanting to go to together, or a course of lessons in rope, whip technique, or some other skill they’ve been wanting to learn?

If you wish, you could even turn giving gifts to your Dominant into a kinky thing in and of itself. I am far from an expert in “financial Domination” and it’s something I encourage you to be extremely careful with and set firm limits around… but if the idea of showering your Dom with gifts and treats as part of your submission, or pretending you are being “made” to do it, gets you off then this can be a fun thing to play with.

Additional tips that are good for anyone

At the end of the day, most people love to receive the kinds of gifts that show thought, consideration, and a true knowledge of who they are. Regardless of whether you’re kinky or vanilla, a Dom or a sub or something else, you can show love to your partner by giving them the occasional well-considered, well-timed gift.

If you’re in a long-distance relationship, consider gifts that help your partner feel connected to you. This could be as simple as sneaking a shirt that smells like you into their luggage before they leave, or as elaborate as buying them a fancy app-controlled sex toy for use during your sexting sessions.

Homemade gifts are almost always wonderful. So if you have a talent, use it! I own two paintings and several pieces of jewellery made for me by my partner The Artist, and I absolutely cherish these things. I’ve made everything from chocolate chip cookies to knitted items for loved ones, and they’re always really well received.

Finally, gifts don’t have to be physical items! Something I treasure immensely is when a partner gives me a gift of an experience for us to do together. This could be buying dinner at their favourite restaurant, going to see a show together, or almost anything that they’ll love doing and love doing with you. This works particularly well for anyone who sits at the intersection of “receiving gifts” and “quality time” in their love languages.

What’s your love language? Has your Dominant or submissive ever given you a really amazing present? Tweet me or tell me about it in the comments!

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Heart shaped gift box with a vibrator and pair of pink handcuffs. Header for a post about buying your lover a sex toy for Valentine's Day

How to Buy Your Lover a Sex Toy for Valentine’s Day

Published on by Amy

I kind of love Valentine’s Day. I know it’s a manufactured commercial holiday, but at its heart it is a celebration of love – and I am in favour of there being more love and expressions of love in the world.

Flowers and chocolates might be more traditional, but I think that a sex toy they’ll really love is a super romantic gift for Valentine’s Day. Sex is a massive part of many loving romantic relationships, and we could all use more pleasure in our lives. Giving your partner the ideal sex toy is a great way to make them feel seen and loved and to show that you’re invested in their sexual fulfillment.

There is one huge, enormous caveats to this, namely:

ONLY DO THIS FOR ESTABLISHED SEXUAL PARTNERS. Don’t buy your office crush or that cutie who makes your coffee a sex toy. That’s creepy.

So how do you ensure your sexy gift lands right? Here’s some tips…

Most importantly, take note of their preferences, desires and fantasies.

Is your partner a girth lover? Do they really need intense clitoral stimulation to get off? Are they all about their cock, or super into anal play? Do they love dual stimulation, or do they prefer to focus on a single sensation at a time? You need to know these basic things about your lover’s body before you can successfully buy them a toy.

Aesthetic preferences matter here, too. For some people, something pink might go down brilliantly. Others hate the colour and want nothing to do with it. Case in point: I was already MEGA impressed when Mr CK bought me a Doxy for my birthday the first year we were together. The fact that it was purple, my favourite colour, just emphasised that he’d really been paying attention to my likes.

This stuff isn’t hard to pick up. You just need to be paying attention.

That’s THEIR preferences!

In order for this to be successful, you need to buy your partner a toy you think they will really love – which might not be the same thing as buying one that you really want to watch them use. There’s no use buying them a massive dildo if they’re all about clitoral stimulation, for example. However much you fantasise about watching them fuck themselves silly, the thing is just going to gather dust in a drawer if it doesn’t turn them on.

If you’re not sure: ask.

You can ask this overtly, if you want – “babe, I’d love to buy you a fabulous sex toy for Valentine’s Day. How does that sound? Anything you’ve particularly got your eye on?” But if you want it to be a surprise, you’ll have to do some subtler sleuthing. As part of a more general conversation about fantasies, desires and new things to try (you are having these conversations, right??) you can ask them if there’s any particular activities or toys they’d super love to try. If you ever visit sex shops together (do this, it’s a fab date activity) or browse products online together, see what they gravitate towards.

If you’re STILL not sure, let them choose!

Loads of stores, both brick-and-mortar and online, now offer gift vouchers to be redeemed on sexy purchases. Why not buy them a voucher for your local feminist sex shop and go together, or a Lovehoney voucher and spend a fun date evening browsing and choosing something together?

Pro tip: skip “gift bundles.”

Bundles of several toys together are tempting because they come with several items and seem really well priced. Unfortunately, they tend to be cheap because they tend to suck. It’s much better to buy one really good quality toy from a reputable retailer and with a decent warranty. “Gift bundles” are often full of jelly, phthalate-ridden crap with terrible motors that will break in five minutes. Give them a miss.

Have a great Valentine’s Day. May you all be blessed with love and, if applicable, orgasms aplenty.

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