Category: Reviews: Toys

Lovense Lush 4 review header featuring hot pink roses on a white background

[Toy Review] Lovense Lush 4

Published on by Amy

One of my most controversial sex toy opinions ever? That the Lovense Lush (specifically the Lush 2) was utterly mediocre. Its vibrations were weak and its shape failed to stimulate my G-spot. However, past experience has taught me that a previous iteration of a toy being bad doesn’t necessarily mean the new version will be bad (the Queen Bee to Pulse Queen glow-up has entered the chat.) With that in mind, I went into this Lovense Lush 4 review with an open mind, hoping to be pleasantly surprised.

At the time of writing this review, the Lovense Lush 4 has 4.7 stars out of 5 on Lovense’s on-site review system and 4 out of 5 on Lovehoney. So the general consensus is that this thing is pretty good. Let’s find out if I agreed.

What is the Lovense Lush 4?

The Lovense Lush 4 is the latest iteration in Lovense’s “Lush” line of egg-shaped, insertable vibrators. It has just under 4″ of insertable length and a long tail, the end of which sits against the clitoris when the toy is inserted (allegedly. More on that in a minute.) Its diameter is 1.46″ at the widest point.

Lovense Lush 4: C-shaped pink vibrator with a wide head and slim tail

Made of hot pink silicone, the Lush 4 is designed to provide hands-free internal stimulation. Like previous versions of this product, it is app-controllable via Bluetooth. It is also IPX7 waterproof, i.e. submersible, and USB rechargeable. Strangely, the Lovense website claims that the Lush 4 comes with a storage pouch, but mine didn’t (nor did there seem to be space for one in the box.)

App-controlled products tend to be popular with people in long-distance relationships due to their ability to be controlled from anywhere in the world with an internet connection, facilitating long-distance and even inter-continental sex. However, Lovense products are unique in that they are designed with one particular group of users in mind: online sex workers such as cam models. Lovense toys, including the Lush 4, integrate with many online camming platforms and allows workers to hand over control to viewers or even set the toy to respond to tips from fans.

What’s New?

Fans of previous Lovense Lush products will probably be wondering what’s new about this version and whether it’s worth upgrading. Here’s what’s new with the Lovense Lush 4 compared to the 3 and earlier versions:

  • Improved Bluetooth connectivity.
  • A refined neck design, intended to be more comfortable and stay in place more effectively.
  • Rapid charging, with 5 minutes charging giving you an hour of use.
  • Extended battery life, with around 350 minutes (about 6 hours) of runtime for a 45 minute charge.
  • More powerful than the Lush 1 & 2, the 3 and 4 use the same 7000 RPM motor.
  • The quietest Lush yet, with maximum volume of 36dB (compared to 45.5dB and 38dB for previous models.)
  • A slightly redesigned and wider end to the external arm, possibly designed to stimulate more of the clit.
  • A decorative electroplated panel on the back of the external piece. This has optional and customizable LED lights that change depending on which mode you’re using. Unnecessary, but pretty.

Lovense Lush 4 Review: Pros

Lovense Lush 4 with tail light glowing in light purple

Outside of its specific applications designed for camming, the biggest selling point of the Lush 4 is the Lovense app and the extra functionalities it offers. The app connectivity is fast and reliable, and offers an array of features such as:

  • Setting the vibration level more precisely
  • Handing over control to a partner
  • Syncing the toy to music
  • Syncing with content such as videos
  • Syncing your toy with a partner’s toy so you both feel the same vibrations
  • Text, voice, or video chat with a partner
  • Play group games with other users online

However, despite these fun features, I’m struggling to recommend the Lush 4 on the basis of its app for reasons we’ll discuss in a minute.

Compared to the Lush 2, the Lush 4’s motor is excellent. It’s both stronger and rumblier. It might not be the toy’s intended purpose, but pressing it against my clit can get me off relatively easily. And while we’re on that subject, the slight bulge on the underside of the bulb is dreamy for clitoral stimulation.

Downsides, Issues, and Things to Be Aware Of

First, and this is a huge issue, Lovense has come under fire for some pretty major security breaches in the last year. Experts claim they exposed users’ email addresses in the supposedly-anonymous app. Though the company claims to have patched this issue, this is the tip of a very large privacy iceberg when it comes to app-controlled sex toys in general. I am far from a cybersecurity expert, but I strongly advise caution with sex toy apps. If you’re going to use them, you can reduce your risk with simple steps like using a throwaway email address not connected to your real identity.

Woman's hand holding the Lovense Lush 4 to show its flexible tail

If you decide to proceed using the app, its functionality is a double-edged sword. The options it offers are numerous and varied, turning this into an incredibly versatile toy and opening up various options for online and long-distance play. However, for a toy that retails for £219 at full price, the manual mode options are poor. It has a one-button interface located on the tail, with which you can scroll through three speeds and four patterns. And… that’s it.

An app-controlled toy is never going to be as fully featured in manual mode. But at the very least I’d have liked a few more speed options and dual-directional controls.

Used in its intended form, the Lush 4 offers almost nothing in the way of clitoral stimulation. When I have the toy inserted, the external portion curves away from my vulva and the tail tip ends somewhere around my pubic bone. It certainly gets nowhere near my clit unless I either push the toy in uncomfortably deep (ouch) or smush it against my vulva with my hard (awkward and annoying.) The tail is also pretty floppy, meaning it doesn’t stay in place very well. When I insert it and don’t hold it in place, it sort of flops sideways.

With vibrations transmitting down the tail, I can kinda-sorta feel something through it if I hold it against my clit. However, due to the lack of an actual motor in this part of the toy, the vibrations are pretty weak. I (like the vast majority of vulva-havers, by the way) need clitoral stimulation to get off. This means I’m pretty much never going to use this toy in its intended manner. Of course, you can always pair the Lush 4 with a clitoral vibrator if you enjoy dual stimulation.

The positioning of the button, on the underside of the tail end, also means you have to interrupt what little clit stim it does provide if you want to change the setting manually.

Lovense Lush 4 Review: Verdict

Is it worth upgrading to the Lush 4? If you’ve currently got the Lush 3, I’d say probably not unless the new features like rapid charging and pretty LED lights matter a lot to you. The basic functionality is very similar. If you’ve got a Lush 1 or 2, though, then the Lush 4 is a marked upgrade.

Ultimately, as someone who doesn’t like internal vibrations and is “meh” about most sexual stimulation that doesn’t make my clit the main event, the Lush 4 is never going to be a go-to toy for me. With that said, if you do enjoy internal vibrations and don’t need a lot of clit stimulation to have fun, and if you’re happy to either use an app or put up with limited manual functionality, the Lush 4 might be a great match for you.

The Lovense Lush 4 available directly from Lovense as well as from Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney US, and Shevibe.

Thanks to Lovense for sending me the Lush 4 to review. All views and writing, as always, are mine.

Abstract music notes background. Text reads: We-Vibe Chorus Pro

[Toy Review] We-Vibe Chorus Pro

Published on by Amy

When I learned that a new version of the We-Vibe Chorus was dropping, this time named the We-Vibe Chorus Pro, my first thought was “already!?” Surely it hasn’t been that long since the first iteration of the Chorus hit the market. However, apparently it’s been well over five years! Time is fake. That can mean only one thing: it’s time for a review of the newly released We-Vibe Chorus Pro.

What is the We-Vibe Chorus Pro?

The Pro is a new, updated version of the original We-Vibe Chorus. It’s the same basic design, and follows the theme of We-Vibe’s classic C-shaped “wear during intercourse” vibrators.

We-Vibe Chorus Pro & remote in purple

It’s designed to offer additional clitoral stimulation to the wearer during penetrative sex, while also stimulating the inside of their vagina and (if applicable) their partner’s penis with vibrations. It comes with a “Haptic Squeeze Remote” (more on that below) and can also be controlled via the We-Vibe app.

The Chorus Pro is made of body-safe silicone and available in 3 colourways: Cosmic Purple, Satin Black, and Electric Pink. Its internal arm measures ???

The Chorus Pro is rechargeable, with a 2 hour charge giving around 90 minutes of running time. Its sturdy black plastic storage case is also a USB charging case. It is also IPX7 waterproof, i.e. submersible. It’s unclear whether the remote is waterproof, though; the Chorus Original’s remote was only splashproof so the same may be true here.

Chorus vs Chorus Pro: What’s New?

The We-Vibe Chorus Pro offers many of the same features as the previous iteration of this product, including the adjustable hinged design, squeezable remote, app control options, and touch sensors on the main body of the toy. However, it also offers a number of upgrades. Most notably:

Three Motors and Fusion Wave Stimulation

While the original Chorus had two motors, the Chorus Pro has three. There are two motors in the external clitoral stimulator, and one in the insertable arm. This enables something We-Vibe calls “Fusion Wave Technology”, which sounds like something out of Star Trek but actually seems to just mean that the two clitoral motor synchronise to offer rhythmic, rolling and flowing “wave-like” vibrations.

“Haptic Squeeze” Remote

Close up of We-Vibe Chorus Pro remote in my hand, demonstrating for review

Though the original Chorus had a squeeze-sensitive remote, the Chorus Pro has had a significant upgrade in this regard. The word “haptic” just means something relating to the sense of touch. The new Chorus remote is designed to adjust vibration strength with the intensity of the squeeze, with the remote vibrating at the same strength as the toy to provide immediate feedback to the person holding it.

Is this a good thing? Debatable. We’ll get into this in more detail shortly.

We-Vibe Chorus Pro Review: Pros

Something I appreciate about We-Vibe is that, unlike some toy manufacturers, they don’t constantly churn out new products at an alarmingly fast rate. Instead, they seem to take their time and put real thought into their designs. As a result, the We-Vibe Chorus Pro has a lot to recommend it.

Let’s get into what I like about this product.

  • It’s so pretty! The material sort of shimmers.
  • The hinged design allows you to adjust the fit according to your body.
  • The charging case is convenient for both travel and storage. For an ADHDer like me, it also makes me less likely to lose either the toy or the remote.
  • With 7 classic We-Vibe patterns and 3 new “Fusion Wave” patterns built in, as well as constant vibrations and the ability to change the intensity level of any pattern using the remote, the user experience is pretty versatile even before you get the app involved.
  • The remote is highly responsive, both in squeeze mode and when just using the buttons.
  • The squishy design also makes the motor super comfortable to hold and use.
Underside of We-Vibe Chorus Pro with hinge open to show textured surface

  • I love the texturing on the underside of the external arm. It’s pretty subtle but it adds a little extra stimulation. I can’t personally feel the texturing on the internal arm when I’m wearing it, but other users’ experience may differ.
  • The addition of a third motor really does make a difference in use. While I think calling it “Fusion Wave” is a stretch, the synchronised external motors deliver more intense clitoral and all-over vulva stimulation than a single motor can manage on its own.
  • The motors! We-Vibe always uses excellent strong and rumbly motors in its toys, and this one is no exception.

Cons

There are also a few things about the We-Vibe Chorus Pro I found frustrating. Namely:

  • While the original Chorus had two adjustable hinges for a better fit, the Chorus Pro appears to only have one. It’s a shame to lose the extra adjustability the additional hinge offered.
  • There doesn’t seem to be a way to control the motors separately using the toy itself or the remote. If you want to do this, you’ll need the app. As someone who doesn’t like internal vibrations, this is a pretty big downside for me personally.
  • The insertable section isn’t long enough (or curved enough) to get anywhere near my G-spot. Instead of providing additional pleasure, it just sort of sits there as an anchor to hold the toy in place (sort of; see below.)
  • Overall, as in the original We-Vibe Chorus, I found the “Touch Sense” modes too unpredictable and unreliable to be pleasurable. It’s an interesting concept, but the reality is mostly just annoying.
  • I wish there were better controls on the toy itself. The single button interface is very limiting and basically means this toy is only worthwhile with either the remote or the app.
  • Like virtually all toys of this type, it doesn’t really stay in place without a helping hand unless you’re staying very still (and sometimes not even then.) If you’re moving or doing any kind of thrusting, you pretty much have to hold it in position with your hand to stop it slipping around all over the place.

Other Things to Be Aware Of

We-Vibe Chorus Pro inside its black plastic charging case

I have really mixed feelings about the haptic feedback of the squeeze remote. On the one hand, having the feedback could be useful if you’re using the toy on a partner and want to get a sense of the intensity of the stimulation for them. On the other hand, having your hand repeatedly vibrated is really annoying and uncomfortable. Ultimately, each user will need to decide if this bothers them (and, if it does, if they like the feature enough to put up with it.)

I also find that, the longer I do this job, the less I care about a toy’s app features. I can count on one hand the times I’ve used an app to control a toy outside of an “I’m testing this product so I can review it” session. I don’t really want to be on my phone when I’m trying to masturbate or have sex, I don’t use toys in public because they’re nowhere near as discreet as some people seem to think they are, and I’ve found ways to have long-distance sex that work better for me personally.

That said, We-Vibe’s app is one of the better options for app-controlled toys out there, and it offers a number of intriguing additional options including:

  • Handing control over to a partner anywhere in the world with an internet connection
  • Chatting and video-calling with a partner while they control the toy
  • As mentioned above, controlling the motors separately
  • Activating the three available “Touch Sense” modes
  • More finely controlling the intensity of the vibrations
  • Touch mode, in which you can control the toy with the swipe of a finger
  • Creating your own vibration patterns
  • Creating “playlists” of your favourite patterns

We-Vibe Chorus Pro Review: Verdict

Overall, I think the We-Vibe Chorus Pro is an excellent product. It improves on the original in a couple of fun ways, while maintaining We-Vibe’s reputation for good motors and thoughtful design. Despite a few frustrations, I’m still happy to recommend it.

The Chorus Pro retails for £189/$229 and is available from Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney US, Shevibe, Good Vibes, Babeland, or directly from We-Vibe Europe and North America.

I received the We-Vibe Chorus Pro in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as always, are mine.

Header image for UEROS vibe review featuring woman's body in black lingerie

[Toy Review] UEROS Remote Control Wearable Vibrator with Detachable Egg Set

Published on by Amy

Following my UEROS sex machine review a while back, I received another UEROS product to try. This time, we’re looking at the wearable vibe set, or the “UEROS Remote Control Wearable Vibrator with Detachable Egg Set,” to give it its full name.

What is the UEROS Wearable Vibe Set?

At first glance, the UEROS wearable vibrator set is an interesting concept. It contains four main pieces:

  • A thin, vaguely saddle-shaped vibrator that sits against the pubis with a protruding clitoral stimulator
  • A detachable egg vibrator that fits inside the vagina
  • A harness/crotchless panty thing with straps to hold the vibrator against the body
  • A remote control

The main intended use for the UEROS vibe set is for it to be wearable during (penetrative) partnered sex. In case you’re struggling to visualise how it’s intended to work, here’s a handy diagram provided by UEROS:

UEROS wearable vibe set official product photo showing a woman wearing the toy over a set of black lingerie

The vibrator and egg are made of body-safe silicone (with plastic accents on the former.) The harness is made of polyester and spandex.

This USB rechargeable toy offers 1 hour of runtime for a 2 hour charge. It is also IPX6 waterproof, i.e. splashproof but not submersible.

UEROS Wearable Vibe Set: The Good

Let’s start with the positive things I can say about this product.

UEROS wearable vibe attached to included panties

First, I do think the concept is neat. It’s kind of a combination of insertable wearable vibrators (such as the various iterations of We-Vibe’s classic shape) and those “vibrating knickers” that are still inexplicably a thing even though they almost universally suck.

The slim design is thoughtful and means the toy is less obtrusive and “in the way” if you’re using it during partnered sex. Design-wise, I also like the long tail on the egg. This sidesteps the issue of dual-stimulation toys often being designed for one specific type of genitals, making it more likely to fit comfortably with a range of bodies.

The detachable design of the egg vibrator makes this a more versatile product. You could also use the egg on its own as a non-vibrating, leave-in toy, if you like.

The six straps on the harness/panties hold the vibrator in place very well. Unlikely many “wear during intercourse” toys, it stays securely in position. A rare instance of a supposedly hands-free toy that’s actually suitable for hands-free use.

I like that, when you’re using the external vibrator and the egg together, you can control them completely separately. There’s one button for each part on both the main toy and the remote control. Each has five settings: three constant speeds and two patterns.

UEROS wearable vibrator with egg part attached

The silicone is soft and silky. Aesthetically, it’s also kind of fun. The metallic accents give the whole thing a vaguely sci-fi/techno feel.

UEROS Wearable Vibe Set: The Bad

Buckle in, because once I started actually trying this product, things went sideways fast.

The placement of the buttons on the top side of the toy seems fine initially, but quickly reveals a significant problem. If you’re having penetrative sex in a face-to-face position such as missionary, the chances of the toy getting smushed between bodies and accidentally turned off are very high.

I also want to know why the clitoral stimulator is squishy. This makes the already-poor vibration transmission even worse and makes it hard to get any significant, consistent pressure.

Underside of UEROS wearable vibrator showing squishy clitoral stimulator

My biggest complaint about this toy, though? The sizing of the included harness/panty, without which the main function of the toy is unusable. UEROS claims this item is size inclusive, which is laughably untrue. It is adjustable, but only accommodates waist sizes of ~28″ to ~38″. Apparently it was “rigorously tested on diverse body types”, which means on women (presumably cis) between 5’3″ and 5’8″ and between 60 and 70kg. That’s not a diverse range of body types. That’s a difference of maybe two or three dress sizes, if that.

Crotchless panties/harness that comes with UEROS wearable vibrator set

If you’re going to design a toy that’s exclusively for thin people… well, first of all, don’t. But if you must, at least be honest about it. Claiming a demonstrably exclusionary product is size-inclusive doesn’t make it so.

Finally, the UEROS wearable vibe’s vibrations are nothing short of useless. They’re as weak and buzzy as they come. There is zero possibility of this toy ever giving me an orgasm, in any configuration. And believe me, I’ve tried.

Verdict

This is a product that is significantly better in theory than in practice. I don’t know if corners were cut to bring it to market faster or if it just wasn’t tested sufficiently, but there’s so much wrong with the execution of what is objectively a good idea.

The UEROS wearable vibe set could have been a great product. Unfortunately, in its current state, it just isn’t.

This set retails for $99.

Thanks to UEROS for sending me this product to review. All views are, as always, mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Womanizer Enhance review header image featuring close-up of a lilac sheet and text in a heart icon

[Toy Review] Womanizer Enhance

Published on by Amy

Something that bugs me more than it probably should? When people refer to toys that don’t vibrate as “vibrators.” This term is often erroneously applied to clitoral suction toys, which stimulate the clitoris via air pulses instead of traditional vibrations. However, what if a clitoral suction toy was also a vibrator? That’s the basic premise of the Womanizer Enhance, which I recently received to review.

Womanizer Enhance: Details

Womanizer Enhance clitoral suction toy

The concept of combining clitoral suction with vibrations has been done before. One of the earliest iterations was the surprisingly-good-in-its-day (and now defunct) Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration. However—spoiler alert for the rest of this review!—I think the Womanizer Enhance is probably the best iteration of this concept I’ve seen so far.

The Womanizer Enhance is a clitoral suction toy in the classic tapering Womanizer shape similar to products such as the Classic, Premium, and Next. However, this one has two important differences:

  • There’s no removable nozzle; it’s all one unit
  • The toy offers not only suction-based stimulation, but vibrations as well

The Womanizer Enhance is available in three colours: black, pink, and lilac (my personal favourite.) It is made of body-safe silicone with a plastic base. It’s USB rechargeable, taking around 90 minutes to charge and offering up to 2 hours of runtime depending on intensity. The Enhance is also IPX7 waterproof, allowing for full submersion.

Womanizer Enhance Review: Greater Than the Sum of Its Parts

Womanizer claims that “100% of testers had an orgasm!” which, I admit, made me roll my eyes a bit. It’s not quite one of those “orgasm guaranteed!” claims that make me want to scream, but it’s at least skirting around the edges of being one.

However, I’ll give them this: the Womanizer Enhance really is an excellent product.

Womanizer Enhance clitoral suction toy in my hand

It offers 10 vibration speeds, 10 suction intensity levels, and 10 vibration patterns. This means that, all-in, there are over 1000 possible combinations to play with. Of course, if you’re anything like me, you’ll find one to maybe five settings you like and stick with those. But, given the versatility, there’s a decent chance of finding at least a few that hit the spot for you.

Suction-wise, the Womanizer Enhance is pretty similar to the many other clitoral suction toys in the Womanizer range. The 10 speeds are well graded, offering a noticeable but not too extreme jump between settings as you move up through them. The suction sensation is intense, yet also smooth and sensual.

In terms of vibrations, I was pleasantly surprised to find them far more rumbly than I was expecting. They’re not the strongest, even at the highest levels, but they’re still pretty good. Overall, though, the beauty of this toy is that it’s greater than the sum of its parts. The suction is good, the vibrations are fine, but together is where the magic really happens.

Compared to other suction-only toys, I felt as though the orgasm from this one encompassed my whole vulva rather than being concentrated in my clitoris.

Back review of Womanizer Enhance with buttons

Other Things I Liked Include:

  • The five button interface makes the toy easy and intuitive to use. There are two buttons to control the vibrations, two to control the suction, and one to change the pattern. Simple to learn, relatively easy to use by feel, and sensibly positioned on the back of the toy’s handle.
  • The ability to control the suction and vibrations completely separately means that no matter what combination of stimulation you’re in the mood for, you can fine-tune your experience accordingly.
  • It fits comfortably in my hand, with the tapered handle providing ergonomic comfort in use.

Any Downsides?

On my first try with the Womanizer Enhance, I found the positioning slightly awkward. Due to the nozzle being integrated with the main body of the toy, it doesn’t stick out as far from the body as the nozzles on other, similar products. This made it a little challenging to find a position that was both effective and comfortable to hold for a while.

The above positioning issue also makes it challenging to use a penetrative toy such as a dildo at the same time. Not impossible, but… logistically complex. Something to bear in mind if you prefer to use multiple toys together.

Another reason I don’t love the lack of a removable nozzle is that it makes both cleaning the toy and sharing it with a partner more of a faff.

The Womanizer Enhance can also be pretty loud at the higher levels, particularly if you have the suction and vibrations going at the same time.

Womanizer Enhance: Verdict

Whether the Enhance is the best Womanizer product yet will be a matter of opinion and personal preference. But for me at least, it’s definitely in the top five and possibly the top three. Yes, the vibrations really do enhance (see what I did there?) the experience that much.

I love this toy.

The Womanizer Enhance retails for around £149/$169 and is available from retailers including Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney US, Shevibe, Good Vibes, Babeland, and of course Womanizer themselves.

I received this product in exchange for an honest review. All writing and views are my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Text on pink background reads "Mr Hankey's Toys The Big Pop"

[Toy Review] Mr Hankey’s Toys Big Pop

Published on by Amy

Something regular readers will know about me is that I like my toys bright, colourful, sparkly, in unusual aesthetics, and girly as hell. This is one reason I don’t often gravitate towards strictly realistic dildos. However, one of the things I love about Mr Hankey’s Toys is that all their various designs, from the realistic to the fantastical, can be customised from a range of 24 colours. You’ll understand, then, why I felt compelled to request the Big Pop giant realistic dildo in the brightest shade of pink they have.

What is the Mr Hankey’s Toys Big Pop?

Mr Hankey's Big Pop realistic giant dildo in bubblegum pink

The Big Pop by Mr Hankey’s Toys is a realistic dildo available in four giant sizes. Even the size Small measures 10″ in total length and 2.2″ in diameter at the widest point. The largest size, the 4XL, is 17.25″ in length and 4.29″ in diameter at the widest point. I requested the second size up, which is 12″ in length and has a head diameter of 2.86″.

The Big Pop is available in four firmness levels. I requested the 75% soft, the second softest option, to offset the sheer size of the thing! If you prefer greater intensity, select the medium firm or extra firm density. If you want to ease into using oversized toys more gently, consider one of the two softer options. Extras such as a metallic effect and vac-u-lock hole for use with a fucking machine are also available.

Mr Hankey's Big Pop realistic giant dildo in bubblegum pink

The design of the Big Pop is based on a circumcised penis with an ultra-pronounced head. The name comes from the “popping” feeling that you can get when you thrust with a toy of this shape. It also has a skin-like textured shaft, lifelike ridge, realistic balls, and a gentle curve.

Like all Mr Hankey’s Toys, this dildo is made of body-safe silicone.

Big Pop Giant Realistic Dildo In Use: What I Like About This Toy

Again, I think one of the biggest selling points of Mr Hankey’s Toys is the customisation options they offer. Flesh-coloured realistic dildos aren’t really my jam, but this one makes me smile every time I look at it. It’s such a brilliant and ridiculous shade of bubblegum pink juxtaposed with the realistic design.

The first thing to know about the Big Pop is that it really is absolutely fucking huge. Seriously, look at the specs and visualise what 10″ or 12″ or 17″ actually looks like before you buy. Over the years I’ve been doing this work, I’ve been asked about giant realistic dildos in body-safe materials more times than I can count. For that reason alone I’m glad this toy and Hankey’s range of other realistic dildos exist.

As always, Mr Hankey’s Toys’ attention to detail is excellent. From the skin texturing and veins to the lifelike balls, it’s clear care has been taken to make this dildo as realistic as possible.

This toy really is about the head. Its size, shape, realistic detail, and pronounced design are what most users will buy this dildo for. If you want a dildo that offers a feeling of fullness alongside some seriously intense and targeted G-spot or prostate stimulation, the Big Pop is the one for you.

Big Pop dildo head close-up

This is also clearly a dildo made with thrusting in mind (though, as we’ll see in the next section, this isn’t the only way to enjoy it.) As it slides in and out, the ridge of the head stimulates the sensitive nerve-endings around the vaginal or anal opening.

The 75% soft was the perfect density choice for this toy, in my view. It’s not so soft that the dildo becomes difficult to insert, but it’s soft enough to dial down the intensity a little.

Though it’s a pretty long toy, particular at the larger sizes, the Big Pop giant realistic dildo is a dream toy for serious girth lovers. You don’t need to use the entire shaft if you don’t want to; in fact, you could literally just use the head and the first inch or two if that’s what works best for you. For those who enjoy girthy insertables and a feeling of stretch, the Big Pop allows you to explore this with either deep or shallow penetration.

Things to Be Aware Of

As with any very large toy, this is not a “slip it in and get off quickly” dildo. Using a toy of this size requires preparation, warm-up, patience, and even more lube than you think you’ll need. All of this applies doubly if you’re considering using this toy anally. Don’t put pressure on yourself to take the entire thing side you, now or ever. Listen to your body, do what feels good, and stop straight away if anything hurts.

Huge realistic pink dildo

The key selling point of the Big Pop realistic dildo is that ultra-pronounced giant head. However, some people may find this uncomfortable, particularly if you’ve been used to smoother toys. Again, take your time. If you find thrusting with this toy painful or uncomfortable, try gently wiggling it, rotating it, or even just putting it in and then keeping it still. Many people find consistent pressure against their G-spot or prostate more pleasurable than repeated pounding.

Due to the size and slight curve, this toy also isn’t great for hands-free use. Its weight and top-heavy design means it’s hard to get it to stand up reliably on its own. This isn’t an issue for me as I don’t tend to use toys that way. But if you like to ride your toys in a hands-free position it’s something to be aware of.

Mr Hankey’s Toys Big Pop Giant Realistic Dildo: Verdict

Far from being yet another generic realistic dildo, the Mr Hankey’s Big Pop is clear about the need it’s filling and does so damn well. For people who want an oversized toy that offers intense stimulation to both the sensitive vaginal/anal opening and the G-spot/prostate, it’s an ideal option. The detailing and customisation options elevate it to a premium product that’s worth the price.

The Big Pop dildo retails at prices starting from $129.95 for the smallest size. Larger sizes are of course more expensive, and customisations and add-ons also affect the final price.

Thanks to Mr Hankey’s Toys for sponsoring this review. All views and writing are, as always, my own.

Header image for review: text on blue and dark grey background reads "Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo"

[Toy Review] Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo

Published on by Amy

Hot Octopuss made some serious waves with the Pulse, the company’s first product and a precursor to the Pulse Duo, back in 2013. I received the company’s latest product, the new and improved Pulse Duo, and Mr C&K was kind enough to test it out so I could review it.

What is the Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo?

The new and redesigned Pulse Duo is the latest iteration of the Pulse penis vibrator, and this time it’s specifically designed with use by couples in mind. It looks like this:

Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo "guybrator" sex toy

Based on medical technology designed to help people with spinal cord injuries and similar disabilities to ejaculate for the purposes of taking part in IVF, Pulse toys utilise an oscillating mechanism (known as “PulsePlate”™) to stimulate the penis. As a sex toy, their unique selling point is that the user doesn’t need to have an erection in order to use them.

The Pulse Duo is made of body-safe silicone in a blue-grey colour. It is rechargeable via the included magnetic USB cable. It also comes with a battery-operated remote control and a branded drawstring storage bag.

The toy is waterproof, but the remote control is not.

The user inserts their penis between the flexible silicone “wings”. The plate then stimulates them by rapidly oscillating back and forth. Pro tip: experiment with which way around, and how far along your shaft, you position the toy. The Pulse Duo is designed to stimulate the frenulum (the V-shaped spot that connects the foreskin to the head of the penis), but every penis and every person’s preferences are different, so figure out what feels best for you.

The Pulse Duo is also designed to stimulate a person with a vulva. The suggested use is for the penis-owning person to wear the toy with the top side facing up, and for their vulva-owning partner to straddle them with the toy pressing against their vulva, allowing them to feel its vibrations:

Outline drawing of an AFAB person straddling an AMAB person who is wearing the Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo
Image: Hot Octopuss

Though the Hot Octopuss Pulse range was inspired by medical technology for people who can’t get an erection or enjoy penetrative sex, anyone with a penis can enjoy this product.

Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo Review: Pros

One of my favourite things about the Pulse Duo is that it centres a hugely underrated sex act: grinding. Many people with a vulva masturbate by grinding against things. There’s now a booming market for clitoral grinders in numerous different designs. Using the Pulse Duo with a partner offers a new way to enjoy close bodily contact and simultaneous pleasure without the need for penetration.

Unlike many “couples’ toys” I’ve seen, the Pulse Duo does not treat the vulva and clitoris as an afterthought. The design features an arched base, designed to part the vulva and target stimulation to the clit. The rigid surface is amazing for grinding against, providing plenty of pressure, and the toy transmits vibrations well, particularly on the higher settings.

Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo vibrator viewed from the side

Mr C&K reported that the vibrations and oscillations are strong and rumbly. Based on how the exterior of the toy feels, I would agree with that assessment. I’m not sure the vibrations are strong enough to give me an orgasm alone. Coupled with the grinding motion, though, they absolutely could.

The flexible wings mean that the Pulse Duo will fit most penis sizes. Hot Octopuss recommends this toy for anyone with a flaccid penis length of 3.25″ or more, and with a maximum girth of 2.5″. There is no maximum length or minimum girth recommendation.

The Pulse Duo has a four button interface, two on either side of the toy. There are 7 vibration modes to choose from (steady vibration plus 6 patterns) as well as 9 speeds. The controls are intuitive and easy to learn, and I particularly appreciate the dual-directional speed controls. The remote control offers additional flexibility in how you use the toy and has a range of around 3 metres.

Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo close up of remote control

Unlike a stroker, you don’t need to move the Pulse Duo up and down the penis during use. Depending on your penis size and how it fits, some people will be able to use this toy completely hands-free. Others will need to hold it in place. Of course, if you have a partner straddling you to use the toy in “Duo” mode, their weight will help anchor it in place.

Mr C&K didn’t use lube on his first attempt with the Pulse Duo. He said the toy worked fine without it, but that most people would find insertion easier and may find the toy more comfortable with some water-based lube added.

Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo Review: Cons

Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo vibrator viewed from the side

The first notable downside of the Pulse Duo is that it’s annoyingly loud. Oscillating toys are often louder than traditional vibrators, but the Pulse Duo is bordering on distractingly loud.

The battery life is also only around an hour, which isn’t great considering a full charge takes 3 hours.

Finally, and this is an admittedly minor gripe: the plastic battery tab in the remote control would not come out! No matter how hard we pulled it, we could ultimately only remove it by opening up the battery compartment with a tiny screwdriver. Again, minor, but annoying.

Verdict

This is a really well-designed toy and an improvement on the previous iteration in virtually every way. It is an innovative and inclusive product that focuses on pleasure rather than centering penetration. It has a strong motor, good controls, and well-thought-out use cases for both solo and partnered use. Mr C&K and I are both happy to recommend this product.

I’ll leave you with this gem from Mr C&K regarding the Pulse Duo’s aesthetic: “it looks like I have a little helmet on my… helmet.”

The Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo retails for £129/$149 and is available directly from Hot Octopuss and from Shevibe.

Thanks to Hot Octopuss for sending Mr C&K and I the Pulse Duo to review. All views are ours!

Black background with silver streaks. Text in a silver circle reads: UEROS Nexus Power Sex Machine

[Toy Review] UEROS Nexus Power Sex Machine

Published on by Amy

What’s that saying? You wait ages to get to review a sex machine and then two come along at once? Something like that, anyway. Following my recent review of VVD’s ride-on sex saddle machine, this week I’m testing out (one of) the other kind(s) of sex machine: the traditional “fucking machine.” Namely, the Nexus Power hands-free sex machine from UEROS.

Ueros Nexus Power official product image
Image: UEROS

What is the Nexus Power Fucking Machine?

Sex machines, AKA fucking machines, are devices designed to mimic the experience of having penetrative sex with a penis-owning partner (or a partner using a strap-on, I guess!)

The Nexus Power is a sex machine that you can use either freestanding or handheld. It measures 7.6″x6.2″x2.3″ not including the size of any attachments. The main device comes with two insertable attachments: a dual-motor vibrator and a rotating bead attachment. A remote control and storage case are also provided.

UEROS fucking machine case
UEROS sex machine in case

The Nexus Power is rechargeable, giving around 50 minutes runtime from a 90 minute charge. The attachments are waterproof, but the main device is not. Its attachments are made from body-safe silicone. The main body is available in black or silver, and the attachments are black for both models.

The Nexus Power fucking machine comes with a 1-year manufacturer’s warranty.

Nexus Power Sex Machine Review: What I Liked

Sex machines vary wildly in price, from cheap hand-held versions up to huge structures that cost thousands and take up half your bedroom. The Nexus Power is a relatively affordable fucking machine with a sleek aesthetic that impressed me as soon as I took it out of the box.

UEROS sex machine in pieces

As is traditional, let’s get into this sex machine review by looking at the things I liked about the product!

  • The overall look and feel, from the heavy-duty case to the soft silicone, is high quality.
  • Setting up the Nexus Power is easy, as is switching between attachments. This video shows you how to set it up in moments.
  • The multi-angle stand allows you to use the Nexus Power in tonnes of different positions and configurations. Since all bodies are different, it also makes it simple to adjust until you find an angle that works best for you. It also means you can use the Nexus Power for anal as well as vaginal play, if that’s your jam. The device’s main body rotates up to 230 degrees, while the stand tilts in a 130 degree range.
  • The powerful suction cup base keeps the machine affixed to a floor or other surface. I’ve never found it to come loose or detach, even on the most intense settings.
UEROS Nexus Power sex machine attachments

  • The two-motor vibrating dildo offers 3 intensity settings and 3 patterns, while the rotating attachment has 2 rotation intensities and 4 patterns. This gives you plenty of options and combinations to play with to find what works for you. You can also simply use the thrusting mechanism without the vibrations or rotation, or vice versa, if you prefer. There are six thrusting modes – 4 speeds and 2 patterns – to choose from, with speeds ranging from 260 to 350 thrusts per minute.
  • The remote control is a nice touch, allowing you to use the sex machine hands-free or give control to a partner.
  • The “preferred mode” function allows you to save your favourite combination of settings, saving you the hassle of adjusting every time you use the machine.
  • The travel lock gives you peace of mind when traveling with your sex machine. (I still wouldn’t attempt to take this through airport security, though…)

By the way: the Nexus Power’s attachments are condom-compatible and suitable for use with water-based lube.

Nexus Power Sex Machine Review: What I Didn’t Like

UEROS hands free sex machine

The biggest complaint I have about the Nexus Power – and it’s a big one, unfortunately – is that the thrusting mechanism sometimes just kinda cuts out or gets stuck. This seems to particularly happen close to the point of orgasm, so may be because of the vaginal walls tensing around the toy. However, it also happens if you move in the wrong way or the toy encounters any kind of resistance. This is a pretty significant problem and really undermines what was a quality toy until this point.

Even on the lowest speed, 260 thrusts per minute is pretty intense. For many users, including me, that’s more likely to be painful than pleasurable over any length of time. I would have liked to see lower speeds available too. The assumption that what most people with vaginas want is just hard and fast pounding is completely inaccurate. It also bugs me that the most intense thrusting setting is called “orgasm mode.” That’s not what triggers orgasm for literally the overwhelming majority of vulva owners.

Nexus Power Sex Machine Review: Verdict

I wanted so much to love this one, given its sexy aesthetic, highly adjustable design, and relatively affordable price. However, the problems with the mechanism cutting out or getting stuck make it hard for me to recommend it.

If UEROS ironed out those issues, I’d be shouting about how great this product is. With them, however, it’s more of a miss than a hit for me.

The Nexus Power fucking machine retails for $289 US from UEROS.

Thanks to UEROS for sending me this hands-free sex machine to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views and writing, as always, are mine.

Header for VVD Vkini review. Text reads: VVD Vkini vibrating nipple stimulator

[Toy Review] VVD Vkini

Published on by Amy

I’ve written surprisingly little about nipple play over the years, probably because it isn’t something that I’ve ever been super into for its own sake. There are also surprisingly few toys designed for this incredibly common activity. There are nipple clamps and suckers, of course, and it’s entirely possible to use toys such as vibrators or clitoral suction toys on nipples. But otherwise? Not much. So I was very intrigued by VVD‘s “Vkini” vibrating bra.

The nipples are one of the most common erogenous zones for folks of all genders, and many people enjoy having them stimulated in various ways. Some people can even experience “nipplegasm,” or an orgasm induced solely or primarily through nipple stimulation.

What is the VVD Vkini Nipple Stimulator?

In a nutshell, it’s a vibrating bra. (Or bikini top, hence the name.)

VVD Vkini displayed with box and accessories

The Vkini is a bra/bikini top with two spiral-shaped silicone cups and detachable magnetic stimulators that go on the inside and vibrate against the nipples. The two vibrating motors are housed in the heart-shaped silicone pieces that sit over the nipples.

It is rechargeable, with a 2 hour charge giving 1 hour+ of runtime. There is also an app, allowing you to control the Vkini from your phone or hand over control to a partner.

What I Liked About the Vkini Vibrating Bra Nipple Stimulator

I have to give VVD credit where credit is due: this toy is like nothing I’ve ever seen before. I appreciate innovation and I appreciate attention being paid specifically to nipple pleasure. So what else did I like about the Vkini?

VVD Vkini nipple stimulator vibrating bra

  • The wearable design allows for hands-free pleasure, leaving your hands available to do other things. This is great if you want to enjoy nipple stimulation while masturbating, pleasuring your partner, or even to turn yourself on while you do other things.
  • It came packaged in a sturdy box which is ideal for storage. A drawstring storage bag was also included.
  • The heart-shaped heads are pretty cute.
  • The adjustable straps make it suitable for a range of body sizes. The band extends up to a maximum of 43″ in circumference and has some stretch, so could probably be comfortably worn by people with an overall chest size up to around 45″ or slightly higher.
  • The halter-style shoulder strap is also adjustable, suiting a range of sizes and fit preferences.
  • The inclusion of two different pairs of heads allow you to customise the kind of stimulation you want. I found that the little “lips” attachments offer a more pinpoint sensation, while the “flower” attachments give a broader buzz.
VVD vibrating bra nipple stimulator heads

  • The control buttons are situated right in the middle of the cups. For some reason pressing a button on my boobs just really makes me giggle.
  • Speaking of the controls, they’re super simple to learn and the buttons are easy to press.
  • The Vkini’s vibrations are quiet.
  • There’s definitely some kink potential here! Some people find nipple stimulation to be the ultimate tease or can orgasm from it alone, either of which could be applied to various kinds of BDSM or roleplay scenarios.

Anything I Didn’t Like About This Product?

My main criticism of the Vkini is that the vibrations aren’t particularly powerful and do not transmit very well through the silicone and into the detachable nipple stimulators. This means that all I can feel, even with the Vkini turned up to maximum intensity, is a fairly low-level and buzzy vibration.

It’s also worth being aware that the Vkini is (as VVD says on their website) best suited for people with small to medium chests, approximately A-C/D cup sizes. As someone with a G-cup chest, the Vkini was almost laughably too small for me. I can wear it, but it’s not very comfortable and doesn’t really look very good on me in my opinion. The attachments are also better suited to someone with smaller nipples, regardless of overall chest size. They simply won’t fit over larger nipples.

VVD vibrating bra modelled by a slender white person with tattoos. They are wearing black fingerless gloves.

On the VVD website, the Vkini is shown worn by a person in a hot tub. However, it is only IPX6 waterproof, which means it is not safe for submersion in water. This makes no difference to me personally, but it’s something to be aware of if you’re someone who enjoys having sex in the pool/hot tub/bath/other body of water.

Finally, I decided not to use the “metaXsire” app for controlling the Vkini as it’s described as “AI-powered.” I am morally and ethically opposed to AI in all its forms for an array of reasons, from privacy to content theft to its devastating impact on the environment. If you get this product, I urge you to consider using it without the app.

VVD Vkini Nipple Stimulator: Verdict

I think the Vkini is a fine product for its intended audience, and I don’t think I am that intended audience. In a newer iteration of the product, I’d like to see more powerful and less buzzy motors being used. It would also be nice to see a larger version made for those (like me) with bigger chests.

If you enjoy gentle to moderate nipple stimulation and have a small to medium chest, go for it. If you have larger breasts or prefer more intense stimulation, I’d skip this one.

The Vkini retails for $49.99 US. My readers can enter code “kink” for $5 off.

Thanks to VVD for sponsoring this review and sending me the Vkini to try out! All views, as always, are mine. Product images kindly supplied by VVD.

A pink cowboy hat and pair of brown cowboy boots. Caption reads: VVD Rider Desire Sex Saddle

[Toy Review] VVD Rider Desire Sex Saddle

Published on by Amy

There are certain items I wanted to get my hands on for ages before finally managing to, and receiving them felt like a career milestone of sorts. (Then there are certain toys that I liked the idea of owning, but the reality was really annoying. Looking at you, 42lb sex doll I have absolutely no use for that is still taking up space in my guest room.) One category I’ve been keen to explore for forever? Ride-on toys like the vibrating saddle sex machine we’re looking at today.

A sex saddle is, essentially, a toy that you straddle. Most have a part that goes inside the vagina, and then another part that stimulates the clit. Some come with interchangeable attachments for different riding experiences. The Sybian and Cowgirl are probably the most famous iterations.

VVD recently reached out and offered to sponsor a review of their “Rider Desire” sex saddle. Obviously I immediately said yes. It looks a little something like this:

VVD Rider Desire sex saddle with pink dildo attachment
Image: VVD

VVD Rider Desire Saddle Sex Machine

VVD, or “Viva Desire”, is a women-led brand currently producing a small line of toys aimed at people with vulvas. Currently, the Rider Desire is VVD’s flagship product, along with the “VKini“.

VVD Rider Desire sex saddle box
Image: VVD

The Rider Desire is a vibrating saddle-shaped ride-on sex toy made of a combination of hard plastic and soft silicone.

The Rider Desire comes with three attachments: a simple vibrating dildo, a thrusting attachment, and a tapping attachment. It also has an external part that vibrates and “taps” against the clit. It can also be used without attachments, which I’ll get into in more detail below.

VVD Rider Desire attachments image and sex saddle viewed from above
Image: VVD

Though it comes in a sizeable box, the Rider Desire is actually both smaller and lighter than a lot of other sex saddles on the market. It measures 44cm/17.3″ in total length, 24cm/9.4″ in width, and 20cm/7.8″ in height, and weighs 1.9kg or 4.2lb. Not the smallest or lightest thing ever, but less cumbersome than many comparable products. I recommend keeping the box it came in for easy storage of the saddle and its components.

What I Liked About the Rider Desire Vibrating Saddle Sex Machine

Let’s start by saying that I think this is an excellent product. Genuinely super impressive. So what specifically did I like about it?

  • Everything that touches your body is made of soft and body-safe silicone.
  • I love that it’s cordless! This offers much more flexibility in where and how I use it.
  • I love that the three attachments offer such different experiences and sensations! They’re not just different sized iterations of the same thing. The first is a basic curved vibrating dildo with a rippling texture. One offers a “tapping” sensation against the G-spot, similar to products such as the Lovense Osci. And the third provides a thrusting motion.
  • Even better, you can use this toy without any of the attachments, if you like! I’m generally more of a clitoral stimulation girl than a penetration girl, and I love being able to ride the VVD Sex Saddle and enjoy its amazing external motor (more on that in a minute) without needing to have something inside me unless I want to.
  • Let’s talk about that motor! So many ride-on or dual stimulation toys treat clitoral pleasure as an afterthought, giving us weak and buzzy motors that are more likely to numb me out than get me off. Not so here! The motor is strong and rumbly, and the tapping function is reminiscent of the (utterly excellent) Hot Octopuss Pulse Queen.
  • The attachments affix to the toy using a magnetic mechanism with a cut-out ridge to ensure you’re positioning them correctly. This means they stay in place well and don’t come loose during use.
  • The shape of the Rider Desire vibrating saddle sex machine allows for a gentle rocking motion, which is particularly enjoyable for me as someone who really loves getting off by grinding on things.
  • It comes with a remote control, allowing you to change the settings easily or hand over control to a partner. There’s definitely potential here for teasing and edging games, orgasm control, forced orgasm play, and more if you’re into any of that.
VVD Rider Desire buttons and remote control

  • If you prefer to use the buttons on the toy itself, this is easy. The buttons are intuitively positioned on the front underside of the toy. They are large and easy to press, and the controls are simple and intuitive. There’s a button to turn the saddle on and off, a button to activate the clitoral stimulator, and a button to activate the internal attachments. And yes, you can use both functions separately!
  • There’s a nice “heating” function that warms up the saddle to 42-45°C. Mmm, cosy!
  • It can actually be used hands-free!
  • While I wouldn’t call the Rider Desire a quiet toy, it’s definitely quieter than many other “sex saddle” type products.

Things to Be Aware Of

Perhaps due to its size, the Rider Desire saddle sex machine doesn’t have an amazing battery life. A full charge takes around 3 hours and gives just one and a quarter hours of runtime on average.

If you have pain in your knees or hips, you may find it challenging to use the Rider Desire on the floor. Try supporting your knees with cushions, putting the saddle on the bed or other soft surface instead, or even putting it on a chair and using it in a sitting position rather than a kneeling position. The only right way to do this is the way that’s comfortable for you!

Though the internal attachments are super easy to clean with a sterile wipe or warm water and soap, the external portion is a bit of a pain to clean. There are lots of ridges and the toy is only IPX5 waterproof, meaning it can withstand splashes but should not be submerged. I use a body-safe medical wipe and take extra care to get all the little crevices.

Personally, I wish there were more constant speeds and fewer patterns for the external portion. Does anyone actually like patterns? In my little world of sex geeks, folks seem to pretty much universally hate them.

The weight limit of the Rider Desire vibrating saddle is 150kg or 330lb, so it may not be suitable for those in bigger bodies.

I don’t mind it so much, but my partner and metamour – who also tested the toy – disliked the bright pink colour and suggested it would look more luxurious in a shade like the darker purple of the main box and attachments box.

VVD Rider Desire Saddle Sex Machine: Verdict

Overall, I think it’s fair to say that I was far more impressed by the Rider Desire Sex Saddle than I expected to be. It has actually good motors, great attachments, and a relatively lightweight build as well as good finishing touches like the remote control and intuitive button positioning. The ability to use it without penetration is what really tips it from good to great for me.

In my metamour’s words: 8/10 would ride again!

The VVD Rider Desire Sex Saddle retails for $399 US at full price. My readers can get $20 off with code “coffee.”

Thanks to VVD for sending me this product and sponsoring this honest review. All views and writing are mine. Follow VVD on Instagram as @VVD_co1, on TikTok as @ohyesvvd, and on X as @VVD_official1.

Header image for Mr Hankey's cyberpunk sex toy review

[Toy Review] Mr Hankey’s Toys Cyberpunk Dildo

Published on by Amy

According to its Wikipedia page, “cyberpunk” is a subgenre of dystopian science fiction that juxtaposes technological advanvements with societal collapse or decay. It’s a tremendously popular genre that appears in books, films, TV shows, video games, and more. Cyberpunk sex toys, though, is a new one to me. Though, of course, we have fantasy creature toys and alien toys and horror toys and mythical creature toys all kinds of other genres represented in the world of dildos, so why not this one? Mr Hankey’s Toys sent me their futuristic “Cyberpunk” sex toy to review.

Let’s get into it.

Mr Hankey’s Cyberpunk Dildo: A Futuristic Sex Toy

The Mr Hankey’s Cyberpunk Dildo has a wavy shape that reminds me of a tongue. (Specifically, it kinda reminds me of that weird disembodied tongue thing I reviewed ages ago, though – spoiler alert – this is thankfully a much better product.) It has a heavy, rounded base (no suction cup.) Its surface is decorated with patterns designed to evoke cybernetic enhancements.

Hr Hankey's yellow/gold dildo with cybernetic design

The Cyberpunk Dildo is available in four sizes, from the small (8.5″ in total length and 2.2″ in diameter at the widest point) to the XL (14.5″ in total length and 3.9″ in diameter at the widest point.) It is also available in four firmless. I requested the Cyberpunk Dildo in the small size and 75% soft, which is the second softest of the four.

Like most Mr Hankey’s toys, there are 25 colourways to choose from as well as an optional metallic effect. The obvious colourway choice, of course, would be the gunmetal grey that’s used for the sample product displayed on the Mr Hankey’s website. However, I’m rarely one to go for the obvious, so instead I requested my Cyberpunk Dildo in the metallic gold shade. This colour is a little more muted than some of the bright shades I’ve had from Mr Hankey’s in the past, but the shimmery effect is still really pretty.

You can also add on extras such as a Vac-u-Lock hole, if you like.

What I Liked About This Cyberpunk Sex Toy

I’ve commented in the past that at times, even the smallest options from fantasy toy makers can be improbably enormous. The Cyberpunk Dildo in small isn’t anywhere near as eye-watering as some of the other Mr Hankey’s products I’ve tried, making it a slightly more realistic option for my not-particularly-ambitious vagina. Of course, if you do prefer things on the larger side, just size up.

Hr Hankey's yellow/gold cybernetic sex toy

There’s a lot to like about this toy.

  • The wavy design is a little different from the traditional phallic shape. It’s sort of a cross between a tongue and a tentacle, shape-wise.
  • The softness and flexibility makes insertion easy and comfortable. If you choose a firmer texture this may differ, but the nature of this shape means it’s likely to always have at least some flex and squish.
  • The broad, flat underside and widest-in-the-middle design will appeal to people who enjoy girthy toys.
  • The tapered design means it’s easy to gradually insert it as you get warmed up, without needing to go straight for the girthy middle. And, of course, you can just use the tip if you prefer.
  • Speaking of the tip, its slight curve and flexibility makes it ideal for targeting the G-spot.
  • The large and heavy base allows it to stand upright on its own.
  • The large base makes it anal-safe.
  • For me, this is effectively a smooth toy (see below). If you want a decorative fantasy sex toy design without the sensation of heavy texturing, the Cyberpunk Dildo toy gets that right.
  • The shape means this one is surprisingly excellent for external stimulation for those with a vulva. Its shape means it is ideal for grinding against, and the flexible tip can provide a “flicking” kind of clitoral stimulation if you angle it right.

Things to Be Aware Of

Yellow gold cybernetic sex toy from Mr Hankey's

Compared to some textured sex toys, the Mr Hankey’s Cyberpunk Dildo features very light and mostly decorative texturing. The futuristic, abstract patterns across its surface look cool, but I really can’t feel them at all in use. This isn’t a downside to me because I often prefer smoother toys, but it’s something to be aware of. If you prefer heavy texturing, skip this one.

For those who prefer to ride their toys hands-free, it’s possible with this toy but the combination of flexibility and lack of a suction cup base means it’s not as easy as it would be with some other dildos.

In addition, though this toy is anal-safe, I’d recommend choosing a firmer option if you want to use it in this way. The 75% soft is really too flexible to be practical for anal insertion.

Due to the size and density of the silicone, this toy is naturally pretty heavy even in the smaller sizes. The silicone is also a little grabby, so expect to need plenty of lube with this one.

Futuristic Sex Toys: Mr Hankey’s Cyberpunk Dildo Verdict

Hr Hankey's yellow/gold sex toy with cybernetic design

If a cyberpunk sex toy appeals to you, if you’re looking for something a little different, or if you just like the look of the shape, I can totally endorse this one. Mr Hankey’s have done a great job yet again.

Prices for the Cyberpunk Dildo start at $129.95 for the small. Larger sizes and additional customisations add to the price.

Thanks to Mr Hankey’s Toys for sponsoring this Cyberpunk Dildo review! All views are, as always, mine.