Tag: femme

Liebe Seele Fairy Collection review header

[Kink Product Review] Liebe Seele Fairy Collection

Published on by Amy

Something that often bugs me about kink and BDSM is the way that the aesthetic is, broadly speaking, so damn similar everywhere you look. There’s nothing wrong with black leather cuffs or PVC catsuits or red and black colourways, of course, but it does all get a bit samey after a while. That’s why I’m so drawn to BDSM products that offer something a little bit different, such as the Liebe Seele Fairy collection.

As a femme with a love of brights, pastels, and fun colours, I don’t always want my BDSM vibe to be dark and serious. Sometimes I want it to be pretty, pastel, and fun! That’s what these items represent.

Liebe Seele Fairy BDSM Collection

Liebe Seele is a Japanese brand selling quality leather BDSM gear, sex toys, fetishwear, and more. Fun fact: “Liebe Seele” translates to “dear soul.”

Their “Fairy” collection is a range of 5 products: wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs, blindfold, collar and leash, and ball gag. Each item is available in either pink and white or green and white. I received the blindfold and ankle cuffs in green, and the collar/leash and wrist cuffs in pink (no ball gag because I don’t use them.)

Liebe Seele Fairy bdsm collection in pink
Liebe Seele Fairy bdsm collection in green

All of the products are handcrafted in real leather, and some have gold or bronze-coloured metal accents such as buckles and fastenings

General First Impressions

My Liebe Seele products arrived beautifully packaged. Each item comes in a sturdy box and is sealed with an inner wrap and branded sticker. The presentation gets absolute top marks. I will say there’s quite a lot of unnecessary single-use plastic, though, so I would like to see that go.

Liebe Seele leather handcuffs for BDSM in their box

Liebe Seele bondage gear inner packaging

At first glance, the leather looks and feels of high quality. It’s lovely and soft, and has that beautiful unique leather smell.

Let’s look at each of the items in turn.

Liebe Seele Blindfold

A blindfold is one of the first basic BDSM items I recommend people get when they’re building a toybag. These versatile toys can be great for sensory deprivation, for getting into a headspace and switching your mind off, or for playing out all kinds of fantasies.

Liebe Seele green leather blindfold for BDSM

The Liebe Seele fairy blindfold has 9 holes, making it highly adjustable and wearable by just about anyone. It’s comfortable to wear, particularly after a couple of uses once the leather is starting to wear in. I particularly love getting a nose full of leather smell – a highly erotic scent to me, because I might be a vegetarian but I am also a giant hypocrite – when I’m wearing it.

It comes with a branded drawstring storage bag.

If I have a criticism of this blindfold, it’s that the actual mask part is slightly too small. When it’s on, it still lets a good amount of light in. Making it just half an inch wider over each eye would likely solve this problem.

The Liebe Seele Fairy Blindfold retails for £24/$28.95.

Liebe Seele Wrist Cuffs

The Liebe Seele wrist cuffs have five holes to fit different wrist sizes. I have fairly small wrists and I find them most comfortable on the fourth setting (i.e. the second tightest.)

Liebe Seele leather handcuffs for BDSM

These cuffs are so, so comfy to wear! The leather is soft and supple immediately, and only gets more so as you wear it in. They feel sturdy and secure, but also sensual and sexy. Each cuff has a small D-ring and they come with a separate double-ended clip chain, allowing you to fasten the wearer’s hands together if you want to.

No notes. A near perfect set of handcuffs for BDSM.

The Liebe Seele Fairy Wrist Cuffs retail for £47/$57.95.

Liebe Seele Ankle Cuffs

Like the wrist cuffs, the Liebe Seele ankle cuffs come with a D-ring on each cuff and a detachable double-ended clip chain. You can clip the ankles together… or combine them with the wrist cuffs for a basic hogtie position. (Read up on how to do this safely before you start!)

Liebe Seele green leather ankle cuffs for BDSM

Again, the cuffs are ultra soft and beautifully made. They feel sturdy enough for harder play, in that I can pull against them without worrying that they’re going to break!

They have 7 hole settings for different sizing, and I personally find the middle one the most comfortable.

The Liebe Seele Fairy Ankle Cuffs retail for £49/$59.95.

Liebe Seele BDSM Collar and Leash

Collars are hugely personal and can mean many different things. Whether you’re choosing one that you’ll just wear in a scene for fun, or one that you’ll wear as a symbol of a committed D/s relationship, it’s important to choose one[*] that feels like “you.” While I’m not sure the Liebe Seele Collar is really me, it is objectively an absolutely gorgeous piece even so.

Liebe Seele pink leather collar for BDSM, BDSM collar and leash

This collar has 9 different sizing settings. Collars shouldn’t be fastened too tight – as a rule of thumb, you should be able to slide two fingers between the collar and the neck with minimal difficulty. Its 3 D-rings offer a variety of play and restraint options (as with anything involving the neck, do your research and be VERY careful. Never do anything that may restrict the wearer’s breathing.) The accompanying leash is completely detachable, so you can use them either separately or together.

It’s comfortable to wear and soft enough that I could happily wear it all evening for a party or scene.

The Liebe Seele Collar and Leash Set retails for £46/$55.95.

[*] Or several. I think I own about 10 collars at this point that I wear in various contexts and with varying degrees of regularity.

Verdict

Gorgeous! I’m obsessed. The Liebe Seele Fairy BDSM collection pieces are such fantastic quality and, if properly cared for, will last for many years. They’re functional as well as aesthetically beautiful.

These pieces are also super affordable for the quality. You can get the full set (everything I’ve reviewed here plus the gag) for under $250/£200, or you can mix and match to get the pieces you want in your choice of colour.

Use code Amy15 to get 15% off your entire Liebe Seele purchase!

Thanks to Liebe Seele for sending me these items to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views are, as always, mine.

Naming My Sexuality: What is Sapphic?

Published on by Amy

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the words I use to describe my sexuality. I started identifying as bisexual when I was 17, having always experienced attraction to folks of different genders. But in recent years, this term has felt less and less adequate to describe an expansive and often confusing identity. As I’ve tried on different terms for my sexuality, the one that feels increasingly right is “sapphic.” Let’s talk about the definition of this lesser-known LGBTQ+ term and what it means to be sapphic.

Am I Still Bisexual? Yes… and No

I’ve always liked the term “bisexual” and proudly claimed it for a number of reasons:

  1. It feels extremely important to claim a label that people often dismiss as “not really queer” or “queer lite”, despite being literally the third letter in LGBTQIA+.
  2. It’s an easy shorthand that most people outside of the LGBTQIA+ community have at least some understanding of.
  3. Claiming an expansive definition of bisexuality (“attraction to two or more genders”) is important in pushing back against the false narrative that bisexuals only fancy cis people or that bisexuality is a trans-exclusionary sexuality. (They don’t and it’s not.)

So now I’ve started defining my sexuality as sapphic, am I also still bisexual? Yes and no. I’d say that I still identify as under the bi+ umbrella, given that I’m neither a 0 nor a 6 on the Kinsey Scale (“exclusively heterosexual” or “exclusively homosexual”, respectively.) Taken on its own, though, I haven’t been finding the label “bisexual” entirely accurate or sufficient to describe my reality.

Sapphic Sexuality Definition: An Expensive LGBTQ+ Identity?

So what is sapphic?

The official definition of sapphic is an LGBTQ+ term “relating to sexual attraction or activity between women” (Oxford Languages.) As a sexual orientation or identity, the LGBTQIA+ Wiki defines sapphic sexuality as referring “to a woman or woman-aligned person of any sexual orientation who is attracted to other women and/or women-aligned individuals.”

Fun fact: the term “sapphic” derives from the name of Sappho, an Archaic Greek poet who lived circa 630-570 BCE and whose work described erotic desire and romantic love between women. The word “lesbian” comes from Lesbos, the island where Sappho lived.

Why Identify My Sexuality as Sapphic?

As I said, I’ve played around with a lot of sexuality labels over the years and particularly over the last few months. Though I’m definitely somewhere on the bi+ spectrum, I’m also definitely not a Kinsey 3 (i.e. bang in the middle of the spectrum between exclusively gay and exclusively straight.)

I’m probably somewhere between a Kinsey 5 and a 5.5. That is, much more frequently attracted to people with similar gender identities and presentations to mine (i.e. women, femmes, and women-aligned folks) than to those with very different identities and presentations (i.e. men, male-aligned, and masc-of-centre folks.)

In truth, if I could name 100 people I found attractive right now, at least 95 of them would be women, femmes, or women-aligned. The men in my romantic life are wonderful (and it’s really “man”, singular, these days). But they’re also increasingly rare exceptions.

Sapphic as a Reclamation of Queer Visibility

Sapphic is an umbrella term for many different ways of being within queer sexuality. It can encompass people who identify as lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, queer, and in various other ways. What I love the most about this particular label is that it doesn’t necessarily mean exclusive attraction to women (in the way that the term “lesbian” is often assumed to, though even this is complicated. Bisexual lesbians exist!) It does, however, centre that attraction.

As a woman and as a femme, most of the world would conceive my sexuality primarily in relation to men. Specifically, the assumption is that I will be exclusively or primarily attracted to them and that, even when I am not, my interest in other women will be performed in a way that centres men. In fact, one of the most common biphobic and lesbophobic tropes is that queer women’s sexuality primarily exists for the titillation and enjoyment of men. (See “can I watch?” and “that’s hot” and “so if you’re bi, can we have a threesome?”)

People often assume that I’m “straight really”. They accuse me of just dabbling in queerness for funsies because my nesting partner happens to be male. I recently told a man who was trying to pick me up that I was “wayyyyyy towards the gay end of bisexual”. Somehow, all he gleaned from that revelation was “so I still have a chance?” (Reader, he did not.) Even—perhaps especially—when you’re loudly and proudly queer, heteronormativity can seem very very pervasive sometimes.

So yes. I think “sapphic” is the most succinct and accurate way to sum up my sexuality right now.

Choosing a term to describe my sexuality that specifically places my love for and attraction to women at its heart feels like a small act of reclamation and celebration for my queerness. Every time I think about referring to myself in this way it makes me smile. I think that means I am on the right lines.

Header for a post about the rose toys trend

Are Rose Toys Actually That Good? Unpacking the Viral Sex Toy Trend

Published on by Amy

Chances are, if you’re familiar with the sex toy industry or have spent any time in sex positive spaces online in the last couple of years, you’ll have come across rose toys. Perhaps you’ve seen a company advertising them, an influencer gushing about them on social media, or a friend has told you about how much they love theirs. But what exactly are rose sex toys, are they good, and just why are they so popular? 

It Began on TikTok

I don’t really use or understand TikTok, mostly because I am over 30 and get overwhelmed easily. Therefore, I only became aware of this particular viral sensation when it spread out onto other platforms such as Twitter. I kept seeing people talking about this “rose toy for women”, so obviously I had to check it out and see what all the fuss was about. 

The rose sex toys craze seemingly began sometime in early 2021. In one viral TikTok clip dated 4 May 2021, which has over 631,000 likes at the time of writing, user @_queenk_95 claims to have reached orgasm in 30 seconds with her rose adult toy. Her enthusiastic commenters agree. “WARNING USE AT UR OWN RISK YOULL NEVER BE THE SAME” [sic] one commenter claims.

Image: OOTYEMO

Needless to say, this and similar videos had users rushing to try the toy in their droves. The TikTok rose toy trend is probably one of the biggest pop culture moments in sex toys since an infamous scene from a Sex & the City episode led to many stores selling out of rabbit vibrators in the late 1990s. 

“Rose Toys” Aren’t Just One Thing 

The original “rose toy” that took TikTok by storm seems to have been a rose-shaped clitoral suction stimulator from Amazon. However, even a quick search for “rose sex toy” brings up over 1000 results on Amazon’s US site alone, so I think it’s safe to assume that not everyone who posted about the “rose” was referring to the exact same model. 

I also really don’t recommend buying sex toys from Amazon. In a broadly unregulated industry, the chances of getting a mislabeled knock-off product (which may not even be safe) are too high.

Fortunately, there are now numerous reputable sex toy retailers selling rose sex toys, and they come in many different variations. The majority of rose toys are still based around clitoral suction, but they vary in exact shape and design, size, level of power, settings, controls, and so on. There are also versions with protruding tongues designed to simulate oral sex, versions with G-spot vibrators attached, remote control versions, and more. 

In other words, the world of rose sex toys is now a vast one thanks to their explosion in popularity. So if they appeal to you, you’ve got a good chance of finding one you like.

Sex Toys That Don’t Look Like Sex Toys 

For as long as there’s been a sex toy industry, there has been a market for toys that do not immediately look like what they are. From the classic lipstick and rubber duck vibrators, through to modern toys that look like little penguins or ice creams and the glass, ceramic, or steel constructions that look like works of art, there’s a sex toy to meet every preference. 

Image: OOTYEMO

There are probably a few reasons behind this. Many people, unfortunately, still feel embarrassed about using toys (sex toy usage has become far less taboo in recent years but many people still aren’t comfortable with having a toy out in the open). Discreet toys are also easier to pop in your bag—or take through airport security—without worrying about someone seeing them. Then, of course, there’s the sheer aesthetic value of some toys. 

The famous rose toys are no different. They don’t immediately scream “VIBRATOR” to the uninitiated, and one of the most endearing things about them is that they’re really, really pretty. As a femme, I really love pretty things and flowers, so an attractive sex toy that looks cute on my nightstand is an instant win. It’s easy to see why their aesthetic alone has helped rose flower toys grow in popularity. 

A Cute Gift 

Opinions on whether you should give sex toys as gifts differ. There are situations where you definitely shouldn’t (workplace Secret Santa, yes I have seen this happen) and situations where it’s maybe okay (a very close friend with whom you have that kind of open and frank relationship.) In the context of an existing sexual relationship where you know the other person’s body and preferences reasonably well, though, I’m all for it! 

A rose toy could be a great gift for the flower-loving femme in your life. It’s an imaginative and sexy twist on a traditional gift, and will bring pleasure that lasts a lot longer. 

Are Rose Toys as Good as the Hype Implies?

Having tried a number of rose toys at this point, I’ve had somewhat mixed but overwhelmingly positive to very positive experiences with them. As they’re primarily based on clitoral suction, rose toys deliver focused clitoral stimulation via pulses of air, which offers intense pleasure without any of the numbing effect you can get from poor-quality buzzy vibrators. 

Everyone’s experience is different, of course, but many users say that clitoral suction toys such as rose toys help them to orgasm more quickly, more reliably, and more intensely than any other type of stimulation. 

Today’s post was sponsored by the good folks at OOTYEMO, an online sex shop offering numerous different iterations of the rose toy as well as many other products. All writing and views are, as always, my own. 

A woman in a black bodysuit lying on a bed for a Lovehoney Lingerie bodysuit review round-up. Text reads: Four Lovehoney Bodysuits I Adore

[Lingerie Review] Four Lovehoney Bodysuits I Adore and How I Style Them

Published on by Amy

I don’t often do lingerie reviews any more, as styles come and go so fast, but Lovehoney’s bodysuits are some of the pieces that I come back to again and again. Bodysuits are consistently the most comfortable, most body-friendly, and most versatile items of lingerie for me. Most of them don’t have wires, which is important from both a comfort perspective and because wired pieces are usually woefully inadequate for my G-cup chest.

Let’s talk about four of my favourite bodysuits and some of the ways I style them.

Lovehoney Lingerie Review: Hourglass Open Cup Crotchless Bodysuit

The Lovehoney Hourglass Open Cup Bodysuit is made of black floral lace and microfibre, with an open crotch and removable straps that frame your breasts. It also has removable suspender straps.

This piece, available in UK sizes 6 to 28, is designed to be wearable either on its own or under clothing as “shapewear.” Its stretchy, soft fabrics and adjustable straps make it comfortable to wear. Since this piece is open cup, you don’t need to worry about cup sizes! The Lovehoney Hourglass Bodysuit is a godsend for people like me with large chests; many of the lingerie items I’ve reviewed over the years have been difficult or impossible to wear. You can easily wear this bodysuit either by itself or with a bra.

The aesthetic of the Lovehoney Hourglass Open Cup Bodysuit a kind of femme soft-bondage.

Despite striving to be body-positive and doing continual work on my self-image, there are still parts of my own body that I struggle with. Most notably, I have a complex relationship with my stomach. So pieces that hide the bits of my body I’m less confident about, while emphasising the bits I do love (waist, breasts), are basically the holy grail of lingerie to me. I also adore the way this piece’s lace panels cling to the curve of my hips.

The Hourglass Open-Cup Crotchless Bodysuit retails for £32.99 from Lovehoney UK or $39.99 from Lovehoney US.

Lovehoney Lingerie Review: Fierce Leather-Look Lace-Up Body

Lovehoney’s Fierce range offers a sexy and affordable alternative to expensive materials such as leather and latex. Of all the pieces I’ve reviewed from the Lovehoney Lingerie Fierce range, I find this bodysuit the easiest to wear.

The simple cut of this piece allows the halterneck, lace-up detailing at the hips and cleavage, and shiny fabric to take centre stage. This Lovehoney bodysuit is less adjustable than some of the pieces I’ve covered in this review, but the halterneck style allows for some adjustability. It also makes this piece one of the better options for larger chests.

The Lovehoney Fierce Leather-Look Lace Up Bodysuit is fairly comfortable thanks to its lack of wires or scratchy fabrics. However, like the other pieces in the Fierce range, it can get very hot after a while due to the non-breathable synthetic fabrics.

The Fierce Bodysuit retails for £34.99 from Lovehoney UK or $47.99 from Lovehoney US.

Crotchless Deep Plunge Black Lace Bodysuit Review

I love fishnet. It’s endlessly cool and adds instant sex appeal to any look. I own fishnet tights in several different colours, and this Lovehoney Lingerie mesh bodysuit is one of my favourite pieces I’ve reviewed.

The deep plunge neck of this Lovehoney bodysuit is ideal for those with larger chests. I adore the way it shows off my cleavage while a hint of nipple pokes through the mesh. Another really sexy option is to wear this one with nipple pasties. I also love the thin band around the waist, which lends shape to the piece without pulling too much focus away from the cleavage.

This one size piece is suitable for UK sizes 6-16.

The Lovehoney Mesh Bodysuit is open at the back, framing the butt. Ideal for spanking scenes, if that’s your thing! The tie-up waistband and halterneck make it somewhat adjustable, and the stretchy mesh makes it easy and comfortable to wear. This piece is particularly ideal for play parties in hot venues as it allows my skin to breathe.

The Lovehoney Mesh Bodysuit retails for £16.99 from Lovehoney UK and $22.99 from Lovehoney US.

Late Night Liaison Blue Lace Bodysuit Review

This one piece Lovehoney bodysuit is the only blue piece of lingerie I’ve ever received for review! It is also available in red if that’s more your style. With a plunging neckline and strap detailing around the hips and between the breasts, it also features criss-cross strap detailing at the back and a crotchless G-string gusset.

I absolutely adore the gorgeous, deep midnight blue colour of the Lovehoney Late Night Liaison Bodysuit. This is a relatively unusual colour for lingerie, and it’s nice to see something different.

The delicate floral pattern on the lace is beautiful, and I love the scalloped edges. The straps that sit between the breasts add some interesting detail, and I like the way they draw attention to my cleavage. The extra coverage is also useful for days when I’m not feeling so confident about my stomach.

This piece is available in One Size (UK 6-16) and Plus Size (UK 18-24.)

This isn’t the most forgiving piece for large chests, and I definitely get some nipple slippage when I wear it. I can’t be too upset, though, when it’s so pretty and makes me feel so good to wear. The adjustable straps do help. When Lovehoney Lingerie first sent me this piece to review, I thought I might end up passing it along to a friend. But I ended up keeping it and loving it more than I expected!

The Late Night Liaison Body retails for £29.99 from Lovehoney UK or $36.99 from Lovehoney US.

How to Style a Bodysuit

Of course, the most basic way to wear a bodysuit is on its own. And these pieces are sexy enough that they don’t need anything else. However, whether you enjoy getting dressed up for your partner (or yourself) in the bedroom, are looking for kink party outfit ideas, or are feeling daring in your outfit choice for a night out dancing, there are so many different ways to style a bodysuit.

I’ve worn a bodysuit with sky-high heels and a tiny hat fascinator for a play party, but I’ve also worn the Fierce Leather Look one with a swishy skirt, fun tights, and stompy boots for a night at a vanilla club. I once went to a candy-themed play party wearing the Lovehoney Lingerie Open Cup Bodysuit I reviewed above with candy nipple tassles! And I love the fishnet piece with fishnet tights in a bright colour for a match/contrast effect.

Why not pair your favourite bodysuit with a pair of skinny jeans or skintight leather trousers, throw a blazer or leather jacket over one for a fun casual/glam mash-up, or pair one with an underbust corset? Get creative with it; there’s no wrong answers here. Lingerie is supposed to be fun!

Thanks to Lovehoney Lingerie for sending me the bodysuits featured in this post to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as always, are mine.