Tag: penetrative sex

Abstract music notes background. Text reads: We-Vibe Chorus Pro

[Toy Review] We-Vibe Chorus Pro

Published on by Amy

When I learned that a new version of the We-Vibe Chorus was dropping, this time named the We-Vibe Chorus Pro, my first thought was “already!?” Surely it hasn’t been that long since the first iteration of the Chorus hit the market. However, apparently it’s been well over five years! Time is fake. That can mean only one thing: it’s time for a review of the newly released We-Vibe Chorus Pro.

What is the We-Vibe Chorus Pro?

The Pro is a new, updated version of the original We-Vibe Chorus. It’s the same basic design, and follows the theme of We-Vibe’s classic C-shaped “wear during intercourse” vibrators.

We-Vibe Chorus Pro & remote in purple

It’s designed to offer additional clitoral stimulation to the wearer during penetrative sex, while also stimulating the inside of their vagina and (if applicable) their partner’s penis with vibrations. It comes with a “Haptic Squeeze Remote” (more on that below) and can also be controlled via the We-Vibe app.

The Chorus Pro is made of body-safe silicone and available in 3 colourways: Cosmic Purple, Satin Black, and Electric Pink. Its internal arm measures ???

The Chorus Pro is rechargeable, with a 2 hour charge giving around 90 minutes of running time. Its sturdy black plastic storage case is also a USB charging case. It is also IPX7 waterproof, i.e. submersible. It’s unclear whether the remote is waterproof, though; the Chorus Original’s remote was only splashproof so the same may be true here.

Chorus vs Chorus Pro: What’s New?

The We-Vibe Chorus Pro offers many of the same features as the previous iteration of this product, including the adjustable hinged design, squeezable remote, app control options, and touch sensors on the main body of the toy. However, it also offers a number of upgrades. Most notably:

Three Motors and Fusion Wave Stimulation

While the original Chorus had two motors, the Chorus Pro has three. There are two motors in the external clitoral stimulator, and one in the insertable arm. This enables something We-Vibe calls “Fusion Wave Technology”, which sounds like something out of Star Trek but actually seems to just mean that the two clitoral motor synchronise to offer rhythmic, rolling and flowing “wave-like” vibrations.

“Haptic Squeeze” Remote

Close up of We-Vibe Chorus Pro remote in my hand, demonstrating for review

Though the original Chorus had a squeeze-sensitive remote, the Chorus Pro has had a significant upgrade in this regard. The word “haptic” just means something relating to the sense of touch. The new Chorus remote is designed to adjust vibration strength with the intensity of the squeeze, with the remote vibrating at the same strength as the toy to provide immediate feedback to the person holding it.

Is this a good thing? Debatable. We’ll get into this in more detail shortly.

We-Vibe Chorus Pro Review: Pros

Something I appreciate about We-Vibe is that, unlike some toy manufacturers, they don’t constantly churn out new products at an alarmingly fast rate. Instead, they seem to take their time and put real thought into their designs. As a result, the We-Vibe Chorus Pro has a lot to recommend it.

Let’s get into what I like about this product.

  • It’s so pretty! The material sort of shimmers.
  • The hinged design allows you to adjust the fit according to your body.
  • The charging case is convenient for both travel and storage. For an ADHDer like me, it also makes me less likely to lose either the toy or the remote.
  • With 7 classic We-Vibe patterns and 3 new “Fusion Wave” patterns built in, as well as constant vibrations and the ability to change the intensity level of any pattern using the remote, the user experience is pretty versatile even before you get the app involved.
  • The remote is highly responsive, both in squeeze mode and when just using the buttons.
  • The squishy design also makes the motor super comfortable to hold and use.
Underside of We-Vibe Chorus Pro with hinge open to show textured surface

  • I love the texturing on the underside of the external arm. It’s pretty subtle but it adds a little extra stimulation. I can’t personally feel the texturing on the internal arm when I’m wearing it, but other users’ experience may differ.
  • The addition of a third motor really does make a difference in use. While I think calling it “Fusion Wave” is a stretch, the synchronised external motors deliver more intense clitoral and all-over vulva stimulation than a single motor can manage on its own.
  • The motors! We-Vibe always uses excellent strong and rumbly motors in its toys, and this one is no exception.

Cons

There are also a few things about the We-Vibe Chorus Pro I found frustrating. Namely:

  • While the original Chorus had two adjustable hinges for a better fit, the Chorus Pro appears to only have one. It’s a shame to lose the extra adjustability the additional hinge offered.
  • There doesn’t seem to be a way to control the motors separately using the toy itself or the remote. If you want to do this, you’ll need the app. As someone who doesn’t like internal vibrations, this is a pretty big downside for me personally.
  • The insertable section isn’t long enough (or curved enough) to get anywhere near my G-spot. Instead of providing additional pleasure, it just sort of sits there as an anchor to hold the toy in place (sort of; see below.)
  • Overall, as in the original We-Vibe Chorus, I found the “Touch Sense” modes too unpredictable and unreliable to be pleasurable. It’s an interesting concept, but the reality is mostly just annoying.
  • I wish there were better controls on the toy itself. The single button interface is very limiting and basically means this toy is only worthwhile with either the remote or the app.
  • Like virtually all toys of this type, it doesn’t really stay in place without a helping hand unless you’re staying very still (and sometimes not even then.) If you’re moving or doing any kind of thrusting, you pretty much have to hold it in position with your hand to stop it slipping around all over the place.

Other Things to Be Aware Of

We-Vibe Chorus Pro inside its black plastic charging case

I have really mixed feelings about the haptic feedback of the squeeze remote. On the one hand, having the feedback could be useful if you’re using the toy on a partner and want to get a sense of the intensity of the stimulation for them. On the other hand, having your hand repeatedly vibrated is really annoying and uncomfortable. Ultimately, each user will need to decide if this bothers them (and, if it does, if they like the feature enough to put up with it.)

I also find that, the longer I do this job, the less I care about a toy’s app features. I can count on one hand the times I’ve used an app to control a toy outside of an “I’m testing this product so I can review it” session. I don’t really want to be on my phone when I’m trying to masturbate or have sex, I don’t use toys in public because they’re nowhere near as discreet as some people seem to think they are, and I’ve found ways to have long-distance sex that work better for me personally.

That said, We-Vibe’s app is one of the better options for app-controlled toys out there, and it offers a number of intriguing additional options including:

  • Handing control over to a partner anywhere in the world with an internet connection
  • Chatting and video-calling with a partner while they control the toy
  • As mentioned above, controlling the motors separately
  • Activating the three available “Touch Sense” modes
  • More finely controlling the intensity of the vibrations
  • Touch mode, in which you can control the toy with the swipe of a finger
  • Creating your own vibration patterns
  • Creating “playlists” of your favourite patterns

We-Vibe Chorus Pro Review: Verdict

Overall, I think the We-Vibe Chorus Pro is an excellent product. It improves on the original in a couple of fun ways, while maintaining We-Vibe’s reputation for good motors and thoughtful design. Despite a few frustrations, I’m still happy to recommend it.

The Chorus Pro retails for £189/$229 and is available from Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney US, Shevibe, Good Vibes, Babeland, or directly from We-Vibe Europe and North America.

I received the We-Vibe Chorus Pro in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as always, are mine.

Header image for UEROS vibe review featuring woman's body in black lingerie

[Toy Review] UEROS Remote Control Wearable Vibrator with Detachable Egg Set

Published on by Amy

Following my UEROS sex machine review a while back, I received another UEROS product to try. This time, we’re looking at the wearable vibe set, or the “UEROS Remote Control Wearable Vibrator with Detachable Egg Set,” to give it its full name.

What is the UEROS Wearable Vibe Set?

At first glance, the UEROS wearable vibrator set is an interesting concept. It contains four main pieces:

  • A thin, vaguely saddle-shaped vibrator that sits against the pubis with a protruding clitoral stimulator
  • A detachable egg vibrator that fits inside the vagina
  • A harness/crotchless panty thing with straps to hold the vibrator against the body
  • A remote control

The main intended use for the UEROS vibe set is for it to be wearable during (penetrative) partnered sex. In case you’re struggling to visualise how it’s intended to work, here’s a handy diagram provided by UEROS:

UEROS wearable vibe set official product photo showing a woman wearing the toy over a set of black lingerie

The vibrator and egg are made of body-safe silicone (with plastic accents on the former.) The harness is made of polyester and spandex.

This USB rechargeable toy offers 1 hour of runtime for a 2 hour charge. It is also IPX6 waterproof, i.e. splashproof but not submersible.

UEROS Wearable Vibe Set: The Good

Let’s start with the positive things I can say about this product.

UEROS wearable vibe attached to included panties

First, I do think the concept is neat. It’s kind of a combination of insertable wearable vibrators (such as the various iterations of We-Vibe’s classic shape) and those “vibrating knickers” that are still inexplicably a thing even though they almost universally suck.

The slim design is thoughtful and means the toy is less obtrusive and “in the way” if you’re using it during partnered sex. Design-wise, I also like the long tail on the egg. This sidesteps the issue of dual-stimulation toys often being designed for one specific type of genitals, making it more likely to fit comfortably with a range of bodies.

The detachable design of the egg vibrator makes this a more versatile product. You could also use the egg on its own as a non-vibrating, leave-in toy, if you like.

The six straps on the harness/panties hold the vibrator in place very well. Unlikely many “wear during intercourse” toys, it stays securely in position. A rare instance of a supposedly hands-free toy that’s actually suitable for hands-free use.

I like that, when you’re using the external vibrator and the egg together, you can control them completely separately. There’s one button for each part on both the main toy and the remote control. Each has five settings: three constant speeds and two patterns.

UEROS wearable vibrator with egg part attached

The silicone is soft and silky. Aesthetically, it’s also kind of fun. The metallic accents give the whole thing a vaguely sci-fi/techno feel.

UEROS Wearable Vibe Set: The Bad

Buckle in, because once I started actually trying this product, things went sideways fast.

The placement of the buttons on the top side of the toy seems fine initially, but quickly reveals a significant problem. If you’re having penetrative sex in a face-to-face position such as missionary, the chances of the toy getting smushed between bodies and accidentally turned off are very high.

I also want to know why the clitoral stimulator is squishy. This makes the already-poor vibration transmission even worse and makes it hard to get any significant, consistent pressure.

Underside of UEROS wearable vibrator showing squishy clitoral stimulator

My biggest complaint about this toy, though? The sizing of the included harness/panty, without which the main function of the toy is unusable. UEROS claims this item is size inclusive, which is laughably untrue. It is adjustable, but only accommodates waist sizes of ~28″ to ~38″. Apparently it was “rigorously tested on diverse body types”, which means on women (presumably cis) between 5’3″ and 5’8″ and between 60 and 70kg. That’s not a diverse range of body types. That’s a difference of maybe two or three dress sizes, if that.

Crotchless panties/harness that comes with UEROS wearable vibrator set

If you’re going to design a toy that’s exclusively for thin people… well, first of all, don’t. But if you must, at least be honest about it. Claiming a demonstrably exclusionary product is size-inclusive doesn’t make it so.

Finally, the UEROS wearable vibe’s vibrations are nothing short of useless. They’re as weak and buzzy as they come. There is zero possibility of this toy ever giving me an orgasm, in any configuration. And believe me, I’ve tried.

Verdict

This is a product that is significantly better in theory than in practice. I don’t know if corners were cut to bring it to market faster or if it just wasn’t tested sufficiently, but there’s so much wrong with the execution of what is objectively a good idea.

The UEROS wearable vibe set could have been a great product. Unfortunately, in its current state, it just isn’t.

This set retails for $99.

Thanks to UEROS for sending me this product to review. All views are, as always, mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header image for part 2 of Godemiche Grind Ring sex toy review series

[Toy Review] Godemiche Grind Ring “Waves” and “Bumps”

Published on by Amy1 Comment

This is the second part of a two-part series on the Godemiche Grind Ring! You can read part 1 here.

In the first part of this series, I decribed the Godemiche Grind Ring as a “revelation in sensation”. Having now tried the other two textures in the range – known as “waves” and “bumps” – I’m standing by that assessment and excited to gush even more about how much I love these genuinely amazing toys.

So What is a Grind Ring, Again?

A Grind Ring is a piece of silicone shaped a bit like a pizza slice, designed to fit around the penis or dildo during penetrative sex and provide extra external stimulation to a person with a clitoris. Each Grind Ring has a raised bulge and one of four textures. It can also be used in a whole bunch of other ways: combine it with a vibrator, put it on a sex position wedge or pillow and grind against it, or use it as an accompaniment to hand sex. Or, you know, whatever other creative ideas you can come up with!

Grind Rings are body-safe and easy to clean with soap and water (or a pot of boiling water).

The Toy for Smut Writers (and Readers!)

Are you a smutty writer? Do you, like me, sometimes find yourself getting turned on by your own words? Or do you just enjoy sitting at your desk and reading filthy words? If so, consider putting the Grind Ring on your desk chair and grinding against it as you read/write. The firm surface helps to keep it in place and provide some delicious pressure. I just discovered this possibility a few days ago and I can’t get enough of it. Thank goodness I finally have curtains back up in my office…

With that said, let’s look at the two remaining Grind Ring textures that I haven’t yet talked about: “Waves” and “Bumps”.

Godemiche Grind Ring silicone sex toy in Bubbles and Waves
Feat. “Bumps” in Aquamarine and “Waves” in Pastel Pearlescent Green

Texture 3: “Waves”

Just this morning, I told Mr CK I was writing up this review, and he asked me which of the Grind Ring designs I liked best overall. After thinking about it for a moment, I declared Waves my favourite.

Godemiche Waves Grind Ring clitoral sex toy

The Waves ring was also perhaps the biggest surprise. After feeling how soft the silicone ripples are, I wasn’t sure how much I’d be able to feel them. But when I ground against them, especially when they had a firm surface underneath, they felt like a series of continuous licks from little silicone tongues. Since the waves are so close together and flex as you rub against them, it’s a continuous sensation.

If I’m aroused and using plenty of lube, I can orgasm easily just by grinding my clit into the Waves Grind Ring.

Texture 4: “Bumps”

The Bumps Grind Ring is the perfect middle ground when I want something more intense than the Bubbles but less intense than the Spikes. The bumps are quite small and quite close together so whichever way I move against them, several of them are always making contact with my clit from various angles.

Godemiche Bumps Grind Ring sex toy for clit

I like to use the Bumps ring before moving on to the Waves or Spikes. It’s just the right level of intensity for a hot warmup. With that said, I could probably come on it with some perseverance and a little time. I’ll have to try – you know, for science.

Verdict

Now that I’ve tried out all four Grind Ring textures, I’m even more impressed and maybe even a little obsessed. They’re amazingly versatile and a brilliant way to experiment with different sensations to see what works for you.

If you have a clitoris, I can’t recommend Grind Rings highly enough. If you’ve tried them, which texture was your favourite?

Grind Rings start from £34.99 each. Extras like a higher mound or custom colors cost extra.

Thanks to Godemiche for sending me four Grind Rings in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links appear in this post and if you use them, I make a small commission. All commissions help me to keep C&K going!

Header image for Godemiche Grind Rings review

[Toy Review] Godemiche Grind Ring “Bubbles” and “Spikes”

Published on by Amy

This is the first post in a serious about Godemiche’s new pussy grinder toys. It was initially a two-partner, but now it’s more of an ongoing series since variations of the new Grind Rings, Grind Pads and related products are still coming out.

Back in the day, Godemiche’s Twitter bio said that their goal was “not to break the mold, but recolour it.” Their Ambit is a simple yet near-perfect dildo, and their array of body-safe dildos, plugs, strokers, and gags are available in a dizzying array of colours and combinations. But despite this stated aim, their latest product, the Grind Ring, really does break a few molds.

In a world of endless knock-offs and derivatives, it is so refreshing when I see sex toy designers doing something genuinely new and innovative. And I have never come across anything quite like the Grind Ring before.

But what is a Grind Ring? How does it work, and – most importantly – is it good?

What is the Godemiche Grind Ring?

The Grind Ring is a toy (or actually a series of toys) designed for folks who enjoy clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex.

Godemiche describe it thus: The Grind Ring is a soft textured piece of body safe silicone that’s shaped like a pizza slice with a bulge for grinding, dare we say it, it’s also more enjoyable then a pizza slice too and way fucking dirtier.

And yeah, that’s a pretty perfect description. Here’s what they look like:

Two Godemiche Grind Ring silicone sex toys

Since I typically default to getting everything in purple when I’m choosing sex toys, I decided to go for something a bit different this time. Pictured above are the Bubbles ring in Reefs Water, and the Spikes ring in Dragon’s Breath. The colours are as gorgeously vibrant as ever, and the silicone has this lovely marbled swirly effect that’s just so, so pretty:

Back of Godemiche Grind Ring clitoral stimulators showing pretty marbled silicone pattern

So How Does it Work?

Like the dutiful sex toy testers we are, my partner Mr C&K and I initially tested the Grind Ring in the way it was intended to be used: during penetrative sex. After trying a few different positions, we concluded that by far the most effective way to use this toy was the me-on-top position. This meant I could effectively grind my vulva against the textured surface while he was inside me.

It also worked pretty well in the him-on-top position. Basically, any position that involves a lot of close, face-to-face bodily contact is probably going to work well. Positions with more space between bodies didn’t work so well for us. Your mileage may vary, of course. All bodies are different so experiment to see what works for you.

Since most people with vulvas need sustained clitoral stimulation to orgasm, pussy grinder toys like Grind Rings are a great way to achieve that during penetrative sex (if you want to) and to experiment with different textures. While using a Grind Ring did not get me to orgasm during penetrative sex (the stimulation was a little too inconsistent for that), it did up the intensity and bring a whole bunch of additional hotness and pleasure to the experience.

Other Ways to Use a Grind Ring

The fun thing about sex toys is that you don’t have to just use them in the way they were originally designed to be used. Wand vibrators on penises or clitoral suckers on nipples, anyone?

The Grind Ring (or any pussy grinder, for that matter) is no different. Girl on the Net posted a brilliant piece about using it “wrong” (there’s obviously no such thing!) and I was inspired to try her “textured Doxy wank” idea[1]. And oof, yes, this is highly, highly recommended. I’ve also found that using the Grind Rings as an addition to hand sex, either solo or partnered, is fucking excellent. One of these and plenty of lube between my/my partner’s hand and my vulva is currently one of my favourite ways to get off.

[1] Since I initially wrote this review, Godemiche have added wand toppers to their line-up!

Doxy Die Cast with Godemiche Bubbles Grind Ring
Feat. Doxy Die Cast

Another option is to place a pussy grinder over a suitable firm surface, such as a couch arm, sex position wedge, or particularly firm pillow, and grind on it that way.

And don’t forget, of course, that if you or your partner don’t have a penis you can also use the Grind Ring with any dildo or strap-on.

Godemiche Ambit with Spikes Grind Ring
Feat. the Godemiche Bi Pride Ambit

Texture 1: Bubbles

The Bubbles Grind Ring looks like this:

Godemiche Grind Ring silicone clitoral stimulator in Bubbles

This was actually the first one we tried as an addition to penetrative sex. I wasn’t sure the texture would be noticeable enough to do anything but it really, really is.

Out of all the Grind Ring textures, Bubbles is by far my favourite as an addition to hand sex. It’s textured enough to offer something distinctive and different, but not so intense as to be too much. The smoothness, when coupled with plenty of lube, is divine when I or my partner rub it across my clitoral hood.

Texture 2: Spikes

The Spikes Grind Ring looks like this:

Godemiche Grind Ring clitoral stimulator in Spikes

My first thought when I saw this texture was “eek”. I know silicone is pretty soft, but even so, this looked like it might be too intense for my sensitive clit.

And it is… sometimes.

I have to be in a specific mood for the Spikes Grind Ring. And that mood is “extremely horny” and “in the mood for something so intense it’s almost too much”. It’s not painful, as the silicone is indeed very soft and squishy. It’s just… a lot. Of course, if you do find it painful, you could use it to indulge in a little consensual clitoral pain play if you like that sort of thing.

I did discover one absolutely amazing way to use this ring. If I lay it across my vulva and use a powerful vibrator over the top of it, the tips of the spikes transmit the vibrations in VERY interesting ways. You’re welcome!

Grind Ring Pussy Grinder: Verdict

These things are a revelation in sensation, particularly the Bubbles ring. They’re effective for their intended purpose but also super versatile if you get a little creative.

Godemiche Grind Rings start from £34.99 each and are hand-made to order in whatever combination of colour and texture you choose. Part 2, covering the “Waves” and “Bumps” textures, coming very soon!

Thanks to Godemiche for sending me these products in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links appear in this post. If you use them to make a purchase, I’ll make a small commission at no extra cost to you. All commissions help fund C&K’s continued existence!

Black BDSM cuffs on a bed. Text reads: 4 things that don't make you less of a dominant. For a post answering "Am I dominant enough?" and "what makes a good Dom anyway?"

Am I Dominant Enough? 4 Things That Don’t Make You Less of a Dominant

Published on by Amy

Something I hear a lot from new or would-be Dominants (Doms) in the BDSM world is, “Am I really a Dom if I like…?” The underlying questions are clear: Am I dominant enough? Am I doing it right? What makes a good Dom, anyway?

There are a lot of stereotypes of Dominants out there. Most of them are, frankly, bullshit. One only has to browse Fetlife for a few minutes to see people making all sorts of proclamations about the right, best, true, or only way to be a Dominant (or a submissive, for that matter.) All of this is nonsense.

Your dominance is your own and it doesn’t need to be fragile. If you’re secure in your identity as a Dominant or sometimes-Dominant kinkster, no-one can take that away from you.

Let’s look at four things that tend to cause new and inexperienced Dominants anxiety about their Dom credentials, and break down these harmful myths once and for all.

Am I Still a Dom if I Go Down on My Submissive?

It makes me really sad when I think about how many submissives are missing out on oral sex because their Dominant mistakenly believes that only submissives give head or that going down is degrading. And, for that matter, how many Dominants love sucking cock or eating pussy but won’t do it because they believe it undermines their authority.

The longer I’m kinky, the more I believe that virtually no sexual act is inherently dominant or submissive. Everything we do in sex and kink is ultimately imbued with the meaning we give it.

Most of us do this kinky stuff because it’s fun. As it turns out, a lot of people enjoy getting their cunt eaten or their cock sucked. Giving this pleasure to your partner doesn’t make you any less Dominant. There are even ways to explicitly frame it in a dominant manner, if that’s something you want to do.

Don’t believe me? Try having someone’s tongue on your clit or their mouth around your cock and being told you have to (for example) keep quiet or not come without permission. Then tell me that going down can’t be a dominant act.

Is it Okay for a Dom to Be Deeply in Love with Their Submissive?

Where did we get this idea that Dominants are cold, unfeeling creatures who are incapable of love? (And can we burn the Fifty Shades trilogy to the ground for, amongst many other sins, perpetuating this stereotype?)

BDSM and D/s is often a relationship build on profound vulnerability, trust, affection, and – yes – love. Not all BDSM needs to be based on a love match, of course, and casual play connections are valid if everyone involved is enthusiastically consenting to them.

Ultimately, though, Dominants are human beings with the full range of human emotions. So if you’re a Dom and you’re worried that catching feelings for your submissive will undermine your dominance: don’t be. If anything, intense feelings will just improve and deepen the connection you have and the ways you play.

If you’re a submissive and your Dom is incapable of love, care, or affection? Or if they can only do kink with people they hate, dislike, disrespect, or feel nothing towards? They’re probably an emotionally-stunted billionaire psychopath.

Am I Dominant Enough if I’m a Switch?

Lots of kinksters enjoy being dominant sometimes and submissive at other times. These people are called switches, and they’re not only valid but likely in the majority of kinky people.

Switching can manifest in different ways. You might be primarily a Dominant who likes to submit occasionally, or vice-versa. You might enjoy each role more or less evenly. Some people switch with the same partner, others prefer to let their different facets out to play with different partners. Some like to do the same activities in both roles, while others have very different preferences as a Top than they do as a bottom. However it looks, it’s all good.

One myth about switches is that they’re capable of being neither truly dominant or truly submissive, and are instead a watered-down approximation of both. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Switches are just as capable of being great Doms (or great subs) as anyone else.

In fact, some submissives even prefer to submit to people who switch. Having experienced both sides can lead to greater empathy for your sub’s experience, as well as giving you an extra avenue through which to get new ideas for things to try.

Am I Dominant if I Enjoy Being Penetrated?

I’m going to return to what I said above: there’s virtually no such thing as an inherently dominant or submissive sex act. The idea that being penetrated is inherently submissive is deeply rooted in patriarchy and misogyny. (The logic goes something like this: “women get penetrated, therefore being penetrated is feminine. Femininity is lesser than masculinity, therefore being penetrated is not only feminine but degrading and therefore submissive.”) I hope I don’t need to tell you what absolute bullshit this is.

When I hear of Dominants who’d really like to get fucked but feel they can’t take something in their vagina or ass for fear that it’ll make them submissive… well, it makes me really sad.

If you enjoy receiving penetrative sex as a Dominant, there’s nothing submissive about it. You can enjoy it and it doesn’t undermine your dominance in any way. And, just like giving oral sex, there are absolutely ways to get penetrated in a specifically dominant way. Ordering your submissive to fuck you exactly as you want to be fucked, in the position and at the speed and depth you prefer and not to stop until you’re satisfied? Sounds pretty dominant to me.

“Am I Dominant If…?” YES!

If you identify as Dominant – whether you identify that way always or sometimes or occasionally or only on Fridays during the full moon or just in this specific relationship – then congratulations, you’re a fucking Dominant. That’s literally all that’s required.

Please take this post as enormous permission to stop worrying about whether you’re somehow undermining your Dom credentials. There are no credentials. There’s no set list of required or prohibited activities to be a Dom. We do this shit because it’s fun. If you and your partner(s) are having a good time, that’s literally all that matters.

If you enjoy my content, giving it a share on Bluesky or Fetlife or buying me a coffee is a great way to say thanks! <3