Something I’ve noticed about alien dildos, tentacle dildos, and other fantasy sex toys is that they are often both enormously expensive and almost comically huge. Which is fine, of course, if size is your thing and you’re happy to drop a significant sum of money on a fantasy toy that meets that need. But what if you’re on a budget or just looking for something in a slightly more manageable size? This week, Uncover Creations sent me their Arbora Alien Dildo to review.
Introducing the Arbora Alien Dildos Range from Uncover Creations
Uncover Creations’ Arbora range of alien dildos comes in four different sizes, from extra small (5.1″ total length, 4.3″ insertable, 1.6″ diameter) up to large (10.2″ total length, 8.1″ insertable, 2.5″ diameter). They also range in price accordingly: £40 for x-small, £50 for small, £65 for medium, and £100 for large. Even at the largest size, this is a really competitive price compared to many other fantasy toy makers out there.
You can select your firmness rating, from medium-firm up to squishy soft, pick a colour/colour scheme or allow the company to surprise you, and add a vac-u-lock hole, suction cup, suction cup mount, or cum tube if you like. The resulting toy will be hand-poured to your selected preferences.
By the way: if you’re looking for some colourway inspiration, scroll down to the customer reviews section on the product page and you’ll see numerous happy customers showing off their creations.
The Arbora is a heavily textured fantasy dildo with a curved shape, a series of rippling ridges, a subtle “knot” towards the bottom of the shaft, and a tapered tip. All Arbora alien dildos are made from premium, body-safe and non-porous silicone.
Uncover Creations Arbora Alien Dildo Review: What I Liked
As soon as the UC team suggested it to me for my next review product, I had a feeling I was going to like the Arbora. Now it’s true that alien dildos and other fantasy creations aren’t really my kink, but I do enjoy trying out interesting shapes and textures. Here’s what I liked about the Arbora:
I requested the Uncover Creations Arbora to review in a single surprise colourway, and the result did not disappoint. I received a lovely pearlescent pink that catches the light with a lilac-ish shimmer. Every toy I’ve had from this company has been truly beautiful, and I appreciate the extra effort they put into their presentation.
The texturing is just the right level. I’ve tried textured toys that were so intense they were painful, and textured toys where the texturing was so subtle I really couldn’t feel anything. The Arbora dildo is a happy medium – textured enough to be satisfying but not so over the top as to be uncomfortable.
The curved shape is perfect for getting that “come hither” motion.
When the toy is fully inserted, the two little “spikes” (I don’t really know what else to call them) protruding from the base provide a little additional external stimulation. They don’t really reach my clit, but they kind of tickle my vulva and labia.
The hooked tip provides precision G-spot stimulation.
The base is large and flat, meaning that the toy stands up by itself. If you want to position it on a surface and use it hands-free, this allows you to do that.
FYI if it’s your thing, you can also safely use the Arbora dildo anally.
Anything I Didn’t Like?
There really isn’t anything significantly negative to say in this Uncover Creations Arbora review! One thing to be aware of, though, is that it’s firmer than I expected. I requested the “soft” firmness option but it’s still quite firm and doesn’t have much squish. If I was to order again, I’d probably go for “super soft” instead. If you’re not sure and you really need a softer toy, I recommend going down one firmness level.
It’s also worth noting that toys with heavy texturing can be a bit of a pain to clean. Due to all the little ridges and creases, I recommend using the boiling method to clean your Arbora alien dildos.
Verdict
Arbora is an excellent range of alien dildos with numerous customisation options available. I’d happy recommend them to anyone who enjoys textured or fantasy toys, and particularly to anyone who is looking for a fantasy toy in a smaller size and at an affordable price.
One of the coolest things about being a sex writer is that I get to discover new things I’m into that I would never have thought to try. Another super cool thing about it? I get to discover new things I’m not into that I would never have thought to try. This week, through writing this review, I have learned that I am not into ovipositor toys (egg-laying dildos.)
This revelation isn’t entirely surprising to me, to be fair. I can’t say the idea, in itself, is ever something that has sparked fantasies or even that I have thought about very much at all. But, when Nothosaur asked me if I would test out one of their ovipositor dildos and write about it, I was curious enough to give it a go. Naturally, being a huge musical theatre nerd, I had to pick the one called “Audrey II.”
Audrey II Review: What is an Ovipositor Toy and Why Are People Into Them?
In nature, an ovipositor is a tube-like organ that some animals use for laying eggs. In the world of sex toys, an ovipositor is a hollow dildo that “lays eggs” inside the user.
Ovipositation kinks often come along with impregnation fetishes, though they can also exist separately as their own thing. I’m far too legitimately afraid of pregnancy to eroticise it, personally, but it’s a super common kink. The reasons why people might be into ovipositation are many and varied. Some enjoy the physical sensation of having the eggs deposited inside them, or of “laying” them out again. For others, it’s a natural extension of a monster-fucking or alien-fucking fetish. Some connect it to consensual non-consent (CNC) fantasies, humiliation kinks, fear play, dehumanisation or animal roleplay kinks, and many more.
Ovipositor dildos have a hollow cavity through the middle into which users can insert eggs, which they can then pop out inside their vagina or anus.
Important Things to Know About the Audrey II Ovipositor Toy
If you’re into the idea of fucking an alien plant tendril, then look no further. The Nothosaur Audrey II is a beautifully made and intricate ovipositor toy with an impressive level of detailing. It is made of body-safe matte silicone and the various ridges and bumps add not just aesthetic appeal but also additional internal stimulation in use. The standard green colourway with hints of red adds to the “scary alien plant” vibe, but you can also get it in your choice of custom colours if you prefer.
You can’t really use the Audrey II as a regular dildo without the eggs unless you’re into VERY soft and flexible toys. Due to the hollow interior, it’s ultra squishy to the point that it is hard to even insert. It has a suction cup base, though I’m not sure how much use this would be to anyone using the toy for its intended purpose.
You can order the Audrey II ovipositor toy with or without eggs. These eggs are known at Nothosaur as OGGs and available in a range of sizes. You can also order OGGs separately if you decide you want to add them on later or if you want to add more to your collection. The eggs are genuinely super pretty and come in a range of random colourways.
Your other option is to make eggs yourself using the included molds. The Audrey II comes with 3 egg molds in different sizes. Nothosaur has also provided handy instructions on how to make eggs. In a nutshell, you’ll need gelatin powder, very hot water, a syringe, and your fridge or freezer. I did some research into this and the general consensus seems to be that gelatin is safe to use in the vagina or anus as long as you’re not allergic. Use plain gelatin with no sugars, dyes, or any other additives, as introducing these things into your body can disrupt your vaginal health and be a breeding ground for infection.
If you want to use the Audrey II ovipositor toy anally, it’s important to only use gelatin eggs which will dissolve inside you. Never, ever put the silicone eggs inside your butt. They could get lost or stuck, which can be dangerous. The gelatin will go all melty and goopy pretty quickly, so it’s best to allow some time for clean-up. Put a towel down if you don’t want to risk staining your sheets.
Inserting the eggs takes a little practice but is easy once you get the hang of it. You’ll need plenty of lubricant (water-based or oil-based is ideal) and to use the provided plastic booster to push the eggs up inside and through the toy.
The Audrey II’s squishiness helps to enable eggs to pass through the dildo more easily. Be careful where you’re squeezing, though. They can pop out of the bottom of the toy if you’re not careful.
Actually getting the eggs to come out took me a couple of attempts to get the hang of. It takes a little more pressure than you think it will. Pro tip: clean your hands if they’re covered in lube from setting things up, otherwise you’ll just end up with things slipping out of your hands and flying everywhere.
I ordered the small size Audrey II ovipositor to review, which measures 7″ in total length and around 5.5″ in insertable length. Its 1.8″ diameter makes it comfortable to use and not too girthy.
Audrey II Ovipositor Review: Verdict
I have learned that ovipositor toys definitely aren’t my kink. But this fetish is a pretty common one, as I learned in the course of researching this post, so it might well be yours! And if so, this is an excellent product. The Audrey II ovipositor is thoughtfully designed and beautifully made. Nothosaur’s product presentation and customer service are both excellent, too. I received several fun extras with my toy, including a cute branded storage bag, some stickers, and a cock keyring.
I’ll just leave you with this, courtesy of my nesting partner Mr C&K:
Him: “Audrey II didn’t lay eggs.” Me: “No, it ate faces… I’m putting that in the review.”
The Audrey II ovipositor toy starts from $75.99 for the smallest size. Larger sizes, custom colours, and adding silicone eggs will all increase the price. When you use my links and my code COFFEE at checkout, you can get 10% off your entire purchase.
Thanks to Nothosaur Toys for sending me the Audrey II ovipositor to review and for sponsoring this post. All views, as always, are mine. Check out their full range of ovipositors and other fantasy dildos.
I don’t think I (or my vagina) was feeling particularly brave when I ordered the Mr Hankey’s Monster Dildo from the website, because I chose the smallest of four available sizes. Even so, I took it out of the box and my immediate reaction was “wow, this thing is huge!”
As with the Mr Hankey’s Perfect Penis, I cannot get my entire hand around this toy’s shaft.
So how did I get on with this monster of a realistic dildo? This is the third in my series of reviews for Mr Hankey’s Toys, who are also one of my site sponsors, winner of tonnes of adult industry awards, and all-round purveyors of stellar sex toys in both the fantasy and realistic categories.
Mr Hankey’s Toys Monster Dildo
The Mr Hankey’s Toys Monster Dildo in size medium measures 9.13″ in total length, 7″ in insertable length, and 2.46″ in diameter at the widest point. Again: this is the smallest size! The remaining sizes measure 11.38″, 13.5″, and 15.75″ in total length respectively, with corresponding girth increases. If you want serious size and lots of it, you’ve come to the right place.
This toy is made of body-safe silicone and available in an array of colours from skin tones to brights, metallics, and even UV-reactive shades. You can also choose different firmness levels, from very soft to extra firm, and add a vac-u-lock hole if you wish.
In terms of firmness, 75% firmness or medium will suit most users. 75% firm is supposed to resemble a bio-cock that is 75-80% erect, and many Mr Hankey’s customers report that it feels the most lifelike of the options. Medium is closer in firmness to a fully erect penis.
What I Liked About the Monster Dildo
I found this toy challenging to use. And that’s fine—sometimes a challenge can be fun! I do prefer girth over length (hitting my cervix = ow, bad pain!) though so I’d be more inclined to reach for a girthy toy like this one if I was in the mood for a large insertable. Overall, the girthy design is excellent for those who enjoy the sensation of a stretch, but don’t desire or enjoy excessive length.
This one takes a lot of warm-up and lube for me to use it comfortably. And even then, as I said, I’d describe the experience as challenging and seriously, seriously intense.
Let’s look at some of the specific features of the Monster Dildo that I enjoyed.
I really love the shade of purple and the shimmery effect from the metallic colourway.
This is a highly realistic toy, down to the skin texturing of the balls and the detailing around the head and foreskin. It was apparently life-cast from a real penis owned by a person simply known as “The Jackpot.”
At least at this size, it stands up on its own due to the size of the base. If you want to use the toy hands-free, this makes it easier to do so as you can simply put it on a firm surface and then “ride” it.
The gentle curve is ideal for targeting your G-spot or prostate. When I’m able to get the toy inside me, it presses firmly against my G-spot in a very enjoyable way.
At the firmness level I chose (75% soft or the second softest), it’s fairly squishy and flexible. For a toy of this size, that’s going to be essential for a lot of users. If you like a lot of flex, go softer. If you prefer more rigid toys, go firmer.
The large base makes it anal-safe, if that’s your thing. There was no universe in which this thing was going in my butt, but it can safely go in yours if you’d like. (Obligatory disclaimer: if you’re putting something of this size in your butt, go S L O W L Y. Use even more lube than you think you need. To be fair, that actually applies to vaginal use as well, but the butt isn’t self-lubricating so you’ll need to be even more careful.)
Anything I Didn’t Like?
Personally, I don’t like the pronounced ridge on the underside of the Monster Dildo’s shaft. Even with plenty of lubrication, I consistently found it made insertion uncomfortable. Once the toy was fully inserted, I could still feel the ridge in a way that was pretty distracting.
Like the other Mr Hankey’s Toys I’ve tried, the silicone is very matte. I would have preferred a smoother silicone for a toy of this size. With that said, a smoother silicone would lessen the realistic effect of the toy’s appearance, so it’s a trade-off. As you can probably see in the photos, it also gathers lint and dust.
The texturing can make the Monster Dildo take a little longer to clean. This isn’t really a problem, just something to be aware of. You’ll want to make sure you’ve got all bodily fluids and lube out of the little creases.
Due to its size, the Monster Dildo is also pretty heavy. It’s just about manageable at this size but I have to imagine that the larger versions could be quite difficult to hold and manipulate in use.
Verdict
Honestly, the final analysis is that even in the smallest size this toy is bordering on too large for me. And that’s fine—I am not really the target market for very large toys. But you might be, and this is an excellent choice if so! So many large toys are not body-safe, so it is nice to have somewhere to point my readers for oversized toys that are also safe and well-made.
And make no mistake, this is a beautifully designed toy. The attention to detail is excellent and the array of colours and effects on offer means that you can truly make it your own.
I like having this in my collection but I don’t think it will be going in my body very often. I can enjoy it occasionally, but it’s going to be a once-in-a-while thing and probably revolve around enjoying the challenge as part of a kink dynamic.
The Mr Hankey’s Monster Dildo’s pricing begins at $140.95 for the size Medium in a standard colourway. Going up in size, adding effects, and adding a vac-u-lock hole all add to the price.
Thanks to Mr Hankey’s Toys for sponsoring this review! All views are, as always, my own.
Anyone who has read my work for any length of time will know about my obsession with both wand vibrators and things with interesting textures. So combining the two? Yes, hello, I’m listening! Godemiche, purveyors of all kinds of colourful silicone goodness, have recently created wand attachment heads for the Hitachi Magic Wand and Doxy vibrators.
What Are Wand Attachments and Why Use Them?
Wand attachments are removeable covers that fit over the head of a wand vibrator such as a Doxy or Magic Wand. They are usually made of a soft and flexible material such as silicone or TPE.
Attachments are a fantastic addition to wand vibrators, allowing you to explore different sensations and ways of using your wand. For example, an attachment can turn your wand into a rabbit, penis masturbator, or G-spot vibe, concentrate the vibrations into a smaller area, or add texture.
They can also lower the intensity of a wand for those who find the strong vibrations to be too much. And, if you’re sharing your toy with a partner, swapping out toppers between users is a quick and easy way to minimise your risk of STI transmission without having to pause to sterilise the toy itself.
Godemiche’s wand attachment heads are currently available in two sizes: one to fit the Doxy (Original or Die Cast), and the other to fit the Vibratex/Hitachi Magic Wand. Though you probably could use them with some otherwand brands, they are only officially recommended for the Doxy or Hitachi and therefore you risk damaging the toppers if you use them outside of these recommendations.
These attachments are made of body-safe silicone and, like all Godemiche products, available in a dizzying array of colours. You can choose your own or ask the company to surprise you. Since they are silicone and non-powered, you can clean them with warm water and antibacterial soap and sterilise them with a body-safe medical wipe or by boiling.
Godemiche’s Magic Wand/Doxy attachment heads are available in six different textures. I received the original three—Waves, Ridges, and Bubbles—to try out.
Waves
I was the most excited about this one because the Waves is one of my all–timefavourite textures from Godemiche’s increasingly extensive range of grinding toys.
I’ve always found this one works best with a firm surface underneath because I want to grind against it hard. So putting it on a Magic Wand/Doxy attachment is genius because it allows you to apply as much pressure as you like and move the head of the wand in different motions. A back-and-forth motion with the vibrator on a low or medium setting feels like having dozens of little tongues flicking over your clit.
Get this one if… you’re looking for continual clitoral stimulation that’s soft and flexible, yet still moderately intense.
Ridges
This one is best suited to those who prefer more intense stimulation. It feels a bit like the Waves, only “more”—the ridges are firmer and have less give to them, but you still get that continuous back-and-forth stimulation.
I absolutely adore this one, particularly in combination with the vibrations. I’ve also found that this attachment head works really well if I put my Magic Wand/Doxy down on a surface (such as the bed, a sex pillow, or a wand mount) and then grind against it.
Get this one if… you prefer a more intense rubbing sensation, or have enjoyed the Waves texture but wished it was a little firmer.
Bubbles
I don’t reach for my BubblesGrind Rings that often because they’re slightly too gentle for me. When I want texture, I generally want a little more than this subtle design can provide. It’s fine for a warm-up or when I’m already feeling very sensitive, but by itself it doesn’t do a huge amount for me.
With that said, this will work really well for some people and might be a good choice for those who are trying Magic Wand attachment heads for the first time.
Get this one if… you prefer a gentler sensation or find too much extreme texture overwhelming or uncomfortable.
Nothosaur Toys only recently came onto my radar, when they reached out and asked about sponsorship. But I’ve already begun recommending them to readers who ask me about fantasy toys. With an impressive collection including alien dildos, tentacle dildos, dragon dildos, fantasy grinders, and much more, they have all sorts of great offerings for fans of the weird and wonderful. Nothosaur kindly sent me the ALLA tentacle dildo to review.
What is the Nothosaur Toys ALLA?
The Nothosaur Toys ALLA is a tentacle dildo based on sources such as the Kraken sea monster mythology and the Cthulhu science fiction/horror stories. And it is literally a giant tentacle. It features a large heavy base and two rows of suckers along a flexible shaft. The long shaft tapers gently to a point.
The ALLA is available in several colourways. I chose the light pinkish-purple with blue accents known as “Redemption”, which is super pretty. For a small additional cost, you can also request a custom colourway of your choice.
The Nothosaur ALLA is available in six sizes, ranging from XS (11.8″ in total length) up to “Legendary” (41″ in total length.) Pay close attention to the size chart when you’re ordering, because if you’re not careful you’ll end up with something a lot bigger than you expected! I ordered the ALLA in a medium, which measures 22″ in total length and 1.1″ in diameter towards the top of the tentacle. The sheer idea of one that’s almost twice as large again makes my eyes water, but you might be a lot braver than me!
Nothosaur ALLA Review: What I Liked
Nothosaur Toys are gaining a great reputation in the world of fantasy sex toys, and it’s easy to see why. The ALLA is the first of their products I have tried, and there are plenty of things about it that I really like. Namely:
The Nothosaur Toys ALLA is a beautifully designed dildo. If you have a tentacle kink, I don’t think you could do much better! The detailing is impressive and the use of the two silicone colours adds both depth and an ethereal, otherworldly quality which can be tremendously appealing to lovers of fantasy toys. The Nothosaur dragon insignia is stamped into the base.
The silicone is body-safe and looks and feels to be of a high quality. So many fantasy toys are still being made from unsafe jelly materials or porous TPE/TPR. It’s great to see more and more silicone options coming onto the market. The ALLA’s silicone is very matte, and the suckers can be a little grabby, so using plenty of water-based lube is essential.
“Depth play” and “depth training” – gradually training your body to take longer toys safely and comfortably, either vaginally or anally – isn’t my thing as I find it far more painful than pleasurable. However, it is a fairly popular kink and relatively few body-safe toy options for this purpose have been available. The ALLA, with its softness and long, tapered body, is perfect for those who want to focus on depth of penetration in their play.
That texture! Oh my goodness, that texture! The Nothosaur ALLA’s suckers provide incredible additional stimulation when you use it internally. And there’s another possibility, too: repurposing the ALLA as a grinding toy for clitoral play. Seriously, try it and thank me later.
Thanks to the large base and lengthy shaft, the ALLA is anal-safe if that’s your thing.
Its suction cup holds it in place well despite its large size and significant weight. Some reviewers have commented that they can hang the entire toy from the ceiling with the suction cup!
The toy arrived quickly, and was discreetly packaged with no indication of what was inside.
Anything I Didn’t Like?
When I tried to use it for (presumably) its intended purpose of penetration, I found the Nothosaur ALLA to be slightly too floppy and flexible to be truly satisfying. I was able to insert it with plenty of lubrication and warm-up, but it took a few attempts because it kept bending away from my body when I applied pressure rather than slipping inside. If you enjoy very soft, flexible and gentle toys, this might be a good thing for you. For me, though, I found I wanted a little more rigidity.
I ordered the ALLA in medium firmness (the firmer of the two available options, the other being “soft.”) So keep this in mind if you’re looking for a firmer penetrative toy. I’m actually not convinced I’d be able to use it anally for this reason. All bodies are different, though, so your mileage may vary.
Due to its design, the ALLA can also be a bit of a pain to clean. All those little suckers can harbour bodily fluids, which can breed bacteria if not properly cleaned. For that reason, I really recommend boil-sterilising your toy after each use to ensure that it is completely clean. It just has too many creases and crevices for me to feel confident recommending any other method.
Nothosaur ALLA Review: Verdict
The ALLA is totally different from anything else in my collection, and I kind of love it. I am unlikely to use it as a penetrative toy again (as I said, it’s a little too flexible for me and ultra lengthy toys aren’t really my thing.) However, I will definitely be making plenty of use of the clitoral stimulation possibilities afforded by all those fabulous little suckers!
If you’re looking for a fantasy-style depth trainer or just have a kink for tentacles, you’ll love this toy.
The ALLA’s retail price depends upon the size and customisation options you choose. It begins from just $79.99 for the XS size in a standard colourway, up to $379.99 for the Legendary size. With the smaller options surprisingly affordable and the larger options reasonably priced considering the materials and skill that go into crafting these toys, I am happy to call the Nothosaur ALLA a great value product!
You can also use coupon code COFFEE for 10% off your entire Nothosaur Toys order.
Thanks to Nothosaur Toys for sending me the ALLA and sponsoring this honest and unbiased review. All views and writing, as ever, are mine. Don’t forget to check out the rest of the Nothosaur catalogue including the limited-edition Pride range!
In my first Mr Hankey’s Toys review last month, I noted that I was kinda blown away by the sheer size of the toy in front of me. That theme continues in this, the second of three Mr Hankey’s reviews. Today, we’re looking at this glorious unicorn horn dildo.
When the Mr Hankey’s Toys gave me pretty much free rein (heh) to pick a selection of toys from their site, I couldn’t possibly resist this one. I mean, just look at it!
Mr Hankey’s Toys Unicorn Dildo
The Mr Hankey’s Toys Unicorn Dildo is available in four sizes, ranging in total length from 12″ up to 18.38″, in insertable length from 7″ up to 12″, and in diameter at the widest insertable point from 1.51″ up to 2.7″. I requested the second smallest size (“Medium”), which measures 14″ in overall length, 8″ in insertable length, and 1.83″ in diameter at the widest insertable point. Once the decorative base is factored in, this is a large toy.
This toy is made of 100% body-safe silicone.
It is also available in four firmness levels: 40% soft (the softest), 75% soft, medium firm, and extra firm. You can get it in any of 24 different colourways, including a white/gold two tone. I requested bubblegum pink because I was feeling extra femme that day and it seemed somehow appropriate for this toy. There’s also the option to add a vac-u-lock hole.
Things I Like About the Mr Hankey’s Toys Unicorn Horn Dildo
I mean, the entire design of this toy is just so whimsical and delightful. When you’ve tested and reviewed as many sex toys as I have, one vaguely penis-shaped piece of silicone starts to blend into the next. (Figuratively. Silicone toys do not melt together in storage and I wish this stupid myth would die already. But that’s a rant for another day.)
But a dildo that looks like a unicorn horn? Yeah, that’s new and novel. The detailing is impressive and gives a fun and playful feel that makes me smile every time I see its silly face and ginormous horn on my desk, where it is currently functioning as a particularly “extra” paperweight.
I chose the 75% soft option, which is the second softest. In this shape, that means the horn part is very squishy, bendy, and flexible. According to the company, this softness level mimics a bio-cock at 75-80% of full erection, but on this product it definitely seems softer and more flexible than that. If you want anything other than serious squish and flex, go for one of the firmer options. If, like me, you tend to prefer less intense insertable toys, the 75% soft is a great choice.
I also like the gently tapered design a lot. Coupled with the flex, this makes it ideal for targeted but not-too-intense G-spot stimulation.
The texturing of the horn is lovely, too. A lot of textured insertable toys are too much for me. They can be so intense that they become uncomfortable or even painful. The Unicorn Dildo, though, has a subtle rippling, twisted texture that is pronounced enough to be felt but also gentle.
Thanks to the bottom-heavy design, the Unicorn Dildo stands on its own. The company does warn that not all firmness levels and sizes will necessarily do this, though, so be aware of that if this feature is important to you. It does mean that putting it down on a firm surface and using it hands-free is potentially an option for users who are so inclined.
This large base also means that the Unicorn Dildo is totally anal-safe, if that’s your thing.
Anything I Didn’t Like?
As with the Perfect Penis dildo I reviewed last month, my only real complaint with the Unicorn Horn dildo is that it’s heavy. The large and solid base really adds some weight and heft to this toy, meaning that it can be a challenge to lift and manipulate if you struggle with holding heavy objects.
The silicone is perhaps a little more matte than I would ideally prefer, which means it can be quite grabby. For large toys like this one, that’s very noticeable. However, it’s nothing that you can’t solve with plenty of water-based lube. It also picks up quite a lot of lint and dust in storage, so you’ll want to give it a quick wash or wipe before each use.
Due to the grooves and ridges of the detailed design, I recommend boil-sterilising your Unicorn Dildo to ensure that it’s not harbouring any bacteria in those hard-to-clean areas.
Otherwise? No complaints at all.
Verdict
I love this product! Even in the second smallest size, it’s probably a little too large and hefty for me to actually use it super often, though it’ll definitely get the occasional outing for its intended purpose. It is playful and unique, the insertable part is genuinely well-designed, and when I’m not using it I’ll probably keep it on display anyway because it makes a fun ornament in the sex-positive den of chaos that is my office.
I love that Mr Hankey’s Toys are offering very large dildos made exclusively of body-safe materials. I often receive requests for large toy recommendations. Unfortunately, many of the manufacturers making them are still using unsafe and porous materials. Mr Hankey’s Toys products aren’t cheap, but you’ll get some serious quality for your money. With a little care, one of these toys could last years if not decades.
The Mr Hankey’s Toys Unicorn Horn Dildo starts from $134.95 for the smallest size in a basic colourway. Prices increase as you go up in size and add customisations.
Thanks to Mr Hankey’s Toys for sponsoring this review. This means they paid me to write a fair and honest review. All views and experiences are, as always, my own.
I arrived home to find my shipment of products from Mr Hankey’s Toys waiting for me (discreetly packaged) on my doorstep. My first thought when I picked up the box was “bloody hell, these things are heavy!” When I opened the box, I understood why, as I was greeted by three gigantic hunks of silicone. This is the first of the three.
I requested the Mr Hankey’s Perfect Penis in the medium, which is the second smallest available size for this toy, because I am not a size queen by any stretch of the imagination. I’d read the dimensions, but apparently hadn’t fully grasped the meaning of them. So imagine my expression when I realised that:
The Mr Hankey’s Toys Perfect Penis in medium measures just under 11″ in total length and around 8″ in insertable length, with a circumference of 7″ (that’s a diameter of 2.2″.) There are various customisation options available for this toy. You can choose your size and level of firmness, whether or not to add a vac-u-lock hole, as well as a colour and colour effect.
As its name implies, the idea of this toy is that it is as close to a “perfect penis” as one can get. Mr Hankey’s Toys used AI to analyse an array of studies on preferred penis sizes and dimensions and create a range of dildos offering “the perfect balance of length and width.” The result is a realistic toy that includes a pronounced head, detailing such as a foreskin and frenulum, a textured shaft with veins, and realistic balls.
I can’t say I’ve ever had particularly strong opinions about penises, or indeed about what makes one perfect. I tend to be far more interested in the humans they’re attached to, and the actual shape and size of them is of far less interest to me. And, of course, what makes a body part perfect is inherently a subjective and personal question. Still, it was interesting to see this toy, the result of extensive analysis of folks’ penis preferences.
The Perfect Penis is made from body-safe matte silicone. I ordered mine in metallic green, just because I like green and I like unusual colours for my sex toys sometimes.
What I Like About the Mr Hankey’s Toys Perfect Penis
The Mr Hankey’s Toys Perfect Penis is, objectively and by all measures, an excellent dildo.
I chose the 75% soft, which is the second softest of four available options. According to the company, this mimics a bio penis that is at around 75-80% erect. This was definitely the right choice. I enjoy firm toys sometimes, but for this kind of size, a soft and squishy texture was definitely called for. It’s great that you can customise the toy’s firmness to your preferences. For me, being able to go for a softer and more flexible option made this toy far more useable and enjoyable.
I also particularly like the pronounced head and the additional stimulation it offers as you insert the toy.
The Mr Hankey’s Perfect Penis dildo’s matte silicone gives it a fairly lifelike skin texture, and the overall realistic detailing on the toy is excellent. Of course, you can choose one of the flesh tones available if you want to make your toy even more realistic. I prefer bright colours that don’t resemble actual dicks, but your mileage may vary.
Using this toy is a challenge for me, though it certainly won’t be for everyone. I generally prefer girth over length for insertables, because anything hitting my cervix is painful, so it works best when I use just the first three inches or so of the toy’s shaft. Even then, plenty of warmup and tonnes of lube is essential.
Because it’s so bottom-heavy, this toy actually stays put in an upright position very well by itself. So if putting it down on a firm surface and using it hands-free is your thing, you can do that.
Also thanks to this base, the Perfect Penis is anal-safe. I, however, am not that brave so I did not attempt this.
If you decide to try giant dildos like this one, remember to take things slowly and use even more lube than you think you really need. I’m going to write a piece on safely and comfortably using very large toys soon, so look out for that. In the meantime, taking your time and listening to your body are the most important things you can do.
Anything I Didn’t Like About This Mr Hankey’s Toy?
My only real difficulty with the Perfect Penis was its weight. Because it’s a giant piece of solid silicone, it’s got some serious weight to it. This is something you’ll want to be aware of if holding and manipulating heavy toys is difficult for you.
The only other downside is that I can’t use it for strap-on sex. The balls and base are far too big to make it harness-compatible. I suspect their might be a market for a body-safe, strap-on-friendly toy of these dimensions, though. Other reviewers have noted that the Perfect Penis in size small is great for strap-on play.
It’s also worth noting that the Mr Hankey’s Perfect Penis toy’s silicone is very matte and quite grabby. This isn’t really a complaint as such, but it makes plenty of lube even more essential.
This is admittedly a small gripe, but I didn’t love that the toys came shrink-wrapped in single-use plastic. I understand this might be for hygiene reasons, but silicone is so easy to sterilise and I always recommend cleaning a toy thoroughly before you use it for the first time anyway. Reusable storage bags, or ditching the individual packaging entirely, would be more eco-friendly.
Verdict
Readers often ask me for recommendations for very large dildos, and I sometimes struggle to know what to suggest. Many companies offering huge toys make them out of unsafe and porous materials to save money. So I am pleased to have somewhere to point size lovers looking for quality and body-safe products.
As for me? The Mr Hankey’s Toys Perfect Penis is definitely going to be a “once in a while”, not a “reliable staple”. But those can be fun too!
The Mr Hankey’s Toys Perfect Penis starts from $125.95 for the small size in a single colour, with prices going up as you move up the sizes and add customisations. But if size and more size is what you desire, you can’t go far wrong with this one.
Thanks to Mr Hankey’s Toys for sponsoring this review. This means they paid me to write a fair and honest review. All views and experiences are, as always, my own.
The market for clitoral grinders has exploded in the last couple of years, with numerous sex toy manufacturers bringing out their own versions. These toys are designed primarily for people with vulvas, and provide stimulation through friction against their textured surfaces. Uncover Creations, a small UK-based and female-founded business offering body-safe silicone fantasy sex toys, sent me three of their grinders to try: I received the Tentacle Grinder, Tentacle II, and Synstyl Grinder.
About UC’s Custom Sex Toys
Uncover Creations offers a number of customisation options so you can create exactly the toy you want.
All UC toys are made of body-safe silicone. Choose from three firmness levels, with “Super Soft” as standard and either “Medium” or “Squishy Soft” as alternatives.
Each grinder comes with a set of straps that you can use to attach the toy to a pillow, toy mount, partner’s leg, or any other suitable surface you can think of. The straps measure around 70cm or 2.5ft and are removeable for convenience when you’re not using them. You can pick a colour for your grinder’s included straps or go with the standard black.
If you want to use your grinder with a vibrator, you can add a hole for a bullet vibe. There’s the option to add a basic or premium bullet to your order, or you can use one you already own.
Then you can get creative and choose your colours. There are various options available including single colours, fades, and marble effects, or you can save a little money on your order by letting the company choose and surprise you.
Uncover Creations’ most innovative custom option is the “Silky Smooth” upgrade. This uses a special additive made from Durian tree nuts to give the toy a velvety, gliding surface. It also has a subtle, nutty scent that’s not at all unpleasant. Avoid this if you’re allergic to tree nuts or musk thistle, or if you’re very sensitive to smell.
Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder
I received the Tentacle Grinder in “frosted thistle,” a gorgeous shimmery lilac shade.
The Tentacle Grinder was Uncover Creations’ first forays into tentacle grinders and it seems to be standing the test of time. This chunky grinder is a swirly mass of coiled tentacles, each lined with dozens of little suckers. The Tentacle Grinder measures 7″ in length, 4.9″ across, and 1.77″ in depth at the tallest point. It weighs in a chunky 440g, which helps it to stay in place.
I’m hugely impressed with the intricacy and detail of this toy. If you’re into tentacles for their own sake, you’ll love the fluid, almost moving sense you get from this grinder’s aesthetic.
The Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder is texture for days. The curves of the various tendrils, plus all the little suckers, means I get so much stimulation that it’s almost overwhelming in the best possible way. Given all that texturing, though, you’ll really need lots of lube to get the best experience from this one.
Since it’s relatively large and wide, you can get incredible all-over vulva stimulation from the Tentacle Grinder. The stimulation is also continuous and constant. No matter how you move against it, at least one of the tentacles and all its suckers will be in contact with your clit at all times.
The height of this grinder is one of its main and best selling points. Its relatively tall design makes it so easy to get into a comfortable position and grind against it, even while lying down. The mixture of firmness and squish is excellent, too. Though Uncover Creations calls this blend of silicone “super soft”, there’s still plenty to grind against.
I love the Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder. When I want intensity from a grind toy, this is the one I reach for. If you like a lot of texture, this is the toy for you.
The only downside to this toy is that it’s a bit of a nightmare to clean. Bodily fluids and lube can get stuck between the various tentacles and in all the little folds. I recommend boil-sterilising it regularly.
The Tentacle Grinder retails at £77 for a random colour with black straps. The various customisations add to the cost.
Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II
The Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II has a single, central raised and textured tentacle. This tentacle has two rows of “suckers” along its sides and tapers to a tongue-like point. The base of the toy is also decorated with swirly patterns and aquatic motifs.
The Tentacle Grinder II measures 7.5″ in length and 5.5″ in width. The central tentacle is raised by 1.77″ at the highest point. This one is also quite heavy, weighing 440g in total.
I received the Tentacle Grinder II in a lovely shade of turquoise called “Kingfisher.”
I was sure I was going to love this toy the moment I looked at it. It’s got so many things I like: a raised section, soft and squishy silicone, and plenty of texturing. Here’s what I didn’t expect: it is by far the closest a sex toy has ever come to mimicking cunnilingus for me.
I thought that the highest point in the middle of the tentacle was going to be my favourite part of this toy. However, I soon realised that if I grind against it just right, the tongue-like tip of the tentacle flicks back and forth over my clit like… well, like a tongue. With plenty of lube, it’s a surprisingly good approximation of being eaten out.
The orgasms I have from this Tentacle Grinder are less like the orgasms I have from other grinders and more like the orgasms I have from a partner going down on me.
I always thought that, if a toy ever did actually get close to feeling like receiving oral sex, it would be a suction toy. Many claim to do this, though none have yet succeeded. I did not expect that it would be a grinder shaped like a tentacle.
The other great selling point of the Tentacle Grinder II is its height. With some lower grinders, I’ve found myself struggling to get into the right position or having to use a pillow or mount to bring the toy closer to my body. No such problems here. I can simply place it under me in a lying position and grind against it comfortably.
I do not say this lightly, because I have tried and reviewed literally hundreds of toys: the Tentacle Grinder II is not only one of the best grinders I’ve ever tried, but one of the best toys period.
Tentacle Grinder II prices start at £59 for a surprise colourway with black straps.
Uncover Creations Synstyl Grinder
I received the Synstyl Grinder in vibrant “Electric Blue.”
The Synstyl Grinder’s design is inspired by a flower, though to me it really looks like a vulva! It’s perhaps the most intricately textured toy I’ve ever tried. The Synstyl Grinder is undoubtedly beautiful. Even the base is decorated with similar texturing, which isn’t necessary from a sensation perspective but makes the toy even more gorgeous. This one measures 6.7″ in length, 5.1″ in width, and around 1.5″ in height at the tallest point.
When I first looked at my three Uncover Creations grinders, I thought the Synstyl would likely feel the most intense due to all the little flaps, curves and ridges. So I was more than a little surprised when it turned out to be far less intense than the two tentacle grinders.
The Synstyl Grinder’s silicone is extremely soft and, for me, almost too yielding. I kept finding myself wanting more pressure from it. All those little petal-like folds were just a little too flexible. This is one that would probably have benefited from the firmer silicone option.
Don’t get me wrong, the Synstyl Grinder feels good, but it’s just not quite enough for me from a pressure and intensity perspective. I’ve found that I tend to reach for it when I’m looking for a warmup toy, though it doesn’t usually make me orgasm by itself. If you’re looking for a softer and slightly less intense grinder toy, the Synstyl Grinder might be perfect for you.
I requested my Uncover Creations vibrator with the premium bullet option, which turned out to be the Nu Sensuelle Bullet Point. This plastic bullet is waterproof, rechargeable, and has 10 constant speeds and 10 patterns. For its price-point (it costs £45 to add one of these to your Uncover Creations order), this is a damn good bullet vibrator. It’s powerful and surprisingly rumbly. I do wish it had a remote control, though. It’s pretty difficult to change the settings manually without completely dismounting when you’re riding a toy!
Of course, you can also use any bullet vibrator you already own with your grinders, if you prefer. Whatever you use, though, lube it up before you insert it into your grinder. Trust me, you don’t want to be trying to get it out afterwards without lube.
I wasn’t sure how well the thick silicone of these grinders would transmit the bullet’s vibrations. But it actually does so incredibly well. I can still get plenty of sensation from the bullet even through the thickest part of the grinders.
The two tentacle grinders really don’t need the bullet. They’re more than good enough without it. Even so, sometimes it’s nice to mix things up. If you want a little extra stimulation or something a bit different, the bullet is a nice addition.
The Synstyl Grinder, on the other hand, is significantly improved by vibrations. I tend to prefer more intensity, and the Synstyl Grinder plus vibrator gives me what the grinder on its own lacks. On its higher settings, the vibrator makes the toy’s petals sort of quiver and flicker, which feels amazing.
The Nu Sensuelle Point retails for £45 on its own or with another toy from Uncover Creations.
Thanks to Uncover Creations for sending me their Synstyl Grinder and their two Tentacle Grinders to try. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views are, as always, my own.
I’m a big fan of pervertables for kink. That is, ordinary items that can be misappropriated for sexy purposes. Think wooden spoon spankings, clothes pegs on nipples, makeup brushes for clitoral teasing or sensation play, and so on. But when it comes to things to use on your genitals, how to make your own sex toy – and even deciding whether or not this is a good idea – is not quite so straightforward.
I understand the temptation of making your own sex toy. Toys can be expensive. If you live with family, have little privacy, or live in a place with strict laws, they can also be difficult to get hold of. That’s why I’m not going to tell you not to do it. Instead, I’m going to give you some quick safety facts and show you some ways you can go about making or improvising a sex toy while minimising your risk of harm.
Making Your Own Sex Toy: Safety Considerations
Overall, most people have a very poor level of understanding when it comes to the things that are and are not safe to use on their genitals. This is for two main reasons:
Sex education sucks almost universally. So unless you were lucky enough to have very switched on parents or go to an incredibly progressive school, you almost certainly weren’t taught this stuff.
The sex toy industry is almost entirely unregulated. This means that manufacturers can lie, both about what materials they’re using and about the safety profile of those materials, and there is little recourse to call them on it when they do.
So with that in mind, be very very cautious about what you use as a sex toy. All kinds of items and materials can harm your body. This can run the gamut from physical injuries (for example, from using items with sharp edges) through to infection (from using items that aren’t properly sterile or are made of porous materials which can harbour bacteria.)
Quick Safety Tips
Follow these tips to keep yourself as safe as possible if you’re going to experiment with homemade sex toys:
Only use items that are smooth and free from sharp edges
Never use anything sharp, pointy, or that may have splinters
Never use anything breakable (such as glass items)
Avoid porous materials
Put a condom over anything you are going to insert into your body
If you are doing anal play, always always always make sure your item has a flared base or a large handle so you can retrieve it easily
Don’t use anything electrical in the bath, shower, or near water
Do not use items that have already been used for other purposes (such as used electric toothbrushes) and keep the item for sexual purposes only – or retire it – once you’ve used it as a sex toy
Please don’t use food items such as fruits and vegetables. But if you really must, do not eat them afterwards. Throw them away instead.
Only ever use your own items as sex toys, never something belonging to someone else
How to Make Your Own Sex Toy: 3 Ways
Cast Your (or Your Partner’s) Genitals
Making your own sex toy at home is relatively affordable thanks to the invention of genital casting kits such as Clone-a-Willy and Clone-a-Pussy. These kits typically cost under $50 and allow you to make a replica of your or your partner’s penis or vulva. The finished toy will be made of silicone, so it will be body-safe and should last for many years with the right care.
If You Want to Make Your Own Sex Toy, Learn How to Work With Body-Safe Materials
If you want to make your own sex toy, you can always turn it into a project or a new hobby by learning how to actually work with body-safe sex toy materials and how to make things to a good standard.
For example, you might learn how to mix and pour silicone and make your own toy moulds. Or you could take up woodturning and make beautiful wooden sex toys (don’t forget to glaze and seal them properly with a body-safe finish!) on your lathe at home.
Repurpose Safe(r) Items
Fortunately, there are several household items you can use as a makeshift sex toy that are unlikely to cause you any harm. The following are likely to be okay with some basic safety precautions:
A new, clean electric toothbrush (use the back of the head, i.e. the non-bristled end)
A vibrating back massager
An electric showerhead
Smooth handles of items like hairbrushes (as long as they are clean and covered with a condom)
Let the Professionals Handle It
If you want something designed perfectly for you, it’s time to hand things over to the professionals. Yes, there are companies out there who will make you your very own personalized sex toy based on the specifications that you request.
The ones I recommend are:
Nothosaur, a company that offers custom sex toys in an array of fantastical designs from tentacles to dragons to Zodiac-themed designs and many more. You can choose from a range of sizes, firmness levels, custom colourways, and extras such as vac-u-lock attachments. Use code COFFEE for 10% off your order!
Uncover Creations, a company specialising in fantasy aesthetics and selling toys including dildos, grinders, and made-to-measure penis extenders. Dildos, grinders, and other toys are available in an array of colours and firmness levels, and upgrades such as straps, a hole for a vibrating bullet, and UC’s “Silky Smooth” silicone additive. Extenders are available in four skin tones and five styles, with custom sizing and firmness levels as well as optional extras such as dual density silicone.
These retailers’ custom platinum silicone toys are of the highest quality and made using 100% body-friendly materials. So you’ll know you’re getting value for your money as well as a safe toy that you can use with complete peace of mind.
This post was sponsored by a company that is no longer in business. All views, as always, are mine.
Since they first released the revolutionary Grind Ring, Godemiche have been adding more and more products to their range of grinding toys. The latest is the Vibe Pad vibrating grinder, which I just received to review.
What is a Vibe Pad Vibrating Grinder?
Vibe Pads are the latest iteration of Godemiche’s line of grinding toys which began with the Grind Ring and continued with the Grind Pad. Each Vibe Pad is a flat, rectangular piece of piece of silicone with a cylindrical raised area a few inches long in the middle. The raised part is covered in texturing to stimulate the vulva and clitoris when you grind against it.
It is hollow, with a slit in the back where you can insert the included bullet vibrator. There is also an indent in the silicone where the vibrator button sits, allowing you to switch it on, off, or change settings without taking it out.
Vibe Pads come with removable straps so you can attach them to a surface, toy mount, or body part if you want to.
Each Vibe Pad is customisable. You can select your texture, choose from the standard “extra soft” or medium-firm silicone, choose one or two colours from over 60 options, and choose the colour and length of your straps.
Vibe Pad vibrating grinders are available in nine different textures. I received four of them to try.
Godemiche Vibe Pad: “Jelly Bean”
I decided to start the review with this one, since this Vibe Pad texture is my least favourite of the four I received. The fact that I still quite like it should tell you how I feel about this range overall.
Jelly Beans is the gentlest of the four Grind Pad textures I’ve tried. As you grind, each of the little beans laps slightly against your… no, I’m not making a “bean” joke. It’s too obvious and I am ashamed of myself for even thinking it.
This one definitely works best with a vibrator. The vibrations which cause each of the little beans to flicker and quiver. I’m actually wondering, though, whether the Jelly Beans texture would work better if the beans lay horizontally rather than vertically. With them positioned vertically, a lot of that lovely “flicking” sensation is lost because you’re grinding with the texture rather than against it.
I enjoy using the Jelly Beans Vibe Pad as a warm-up toy. Overall, though, I find this one too gentle and I haven’t been reaching for it anywhere near as much as the others. This might be a good one to start with if you’re new to hump toys or just prefer a less intense type of stimulation.
Godemiche Vibe Pad: “Ridges”
The Ridges texture is a bit like a slight variation of the “Waves”, which was my favourite of all the original range of Godemiche textures, so I knew straight away that I was probably going to like this one.
The Ridges are perhaps more intense than the Waves, as the tops of them are slightly firmer and they don’t move quite as smoothly. If you liked the Waves texture and think you’d enjoy more intensity, this is a great step up. You’ll really need adequate lubrication for this one, though. I like to add a little to both my body and the surface of the toy.
The great thing about this texture is that the ridges are close enough together that, as you grind, you get a constant rubbing sensation along your vulva and clit. Of the Grind Pads I received for this review, this is the one that can most reliably get me off.
Godemiche Vibe Pad: “Waves”
My love affair with Godemiche’s Waves texture continues with this iteration. The silicone ripples are very soft and flexible, and close enough together to provide constant clitoral contact as I grind against it.
It’s a bit like having your clit licked by lots and lots of little silicone tongues. It’s also an ultra smooth sensation compared to many of the other textures. I like this one best when I can grind down really hard against it.
Godemiche Vibe Pad: “Tall Pyramids”
The Tall Pyramids texture is a variation on the “Spikes” from the original range and, at first glance, it looks a little scary. Who wants sharp-looking pointy things near their vulva!?
However, when you touch the tall pyramids you’ll realise that they are actually very soft and flexible. Depending on how hard you grind against the toy, you can get anything from a very gentle tickle up to quite an intense rubbing sensation. The pyramids glide around your vulva and flick over your clit, stimulating you all over at once but in a way that’s somewhat unpredictable.
Let’s Talk About the Vibrator
Your Vibe Pad comes with a vibrator included: the RO80 bullet by Rocks Off. This battery-operated mini bullet vibe has a single-button interface and 7 different settings (3 constant speeds and 4 patterns.)
The Vibe Pads are cleverly designed with a “button” cut into the silicone right where the vibrator’s button sits. This means that you can turn it on, off, or change the setting during use without having to take the vibrator out. This is an excellent touch.
Used by itself, the RO80 isn’t anything special. It’s not terrible, but it’s pretty buzzy and not particularly powerful. It’s definitely an enhancement to the Vibe Pad’s main function as a grinding toy rather than the main event.
The design of the Vibe Pad is such that the vibrations dissipate all the way across my vulva regardless of which texture I’m using. In my experience, they definitely work best with the more “raised” texture designs than the flatter ones, as they make everything sort of quiver.
Your other option, of course, is to use any bullet vibrator you prefer that fits within the slot. However, this will make operating it more fiddly unless your vibe of choice also happens to have a single button in exactly the same place.
In reality, I rarely use my Vibe Pads with the vibrator since testing them for this review. Godemiche’s grinders are so good on their own that the vibrator is an extra I don’t feel like I really need. But it’s nice to have the option!
Verdict
I am, once again, totally obsessed with these toys and ready to evangelise about them to anyone who will listen! They’re a great evolution of the basic grinder concept.
Vibe Pads start from £54.99 for a random colour with the vibrator included. Optional extras including custom colours, strap lengths, strap colours, and lube available at an additional cost. You can also save by getting a bundle of 3 textures in the same colour.
Thanks to Godemiche for sending me four of their Vibe Pads to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as always, are mine.
