Tag: sex toys

Header image for the Hot Octopuss Queen Bee review

[Toy Review] Hot Octopuss Queen Bee

Published on by Amy1 Comment

Update 01/03/2021: The Hot Octopuss Queen Bee vibrator is no longer available and has been replaced by the massively improved Pulse Queen. I normally remove obsolete reviews but I’ve left this one up because I think it provides important context on how Hot Octopuss’s vulva toys have evolved.

What is the Hot Octopuss Queen Bee?

I’ve been wanting to try the Hot Octopuss Queen Bee ever since I saw the prototype at Eroticon. With the Queen Bee, HO has created a toy for vulvas using the same “PulsePlate” technology as their revolutionary Pulse toys for penis-owners.

In HO’s own words: “Unlike conventional sex toys, the Queen Bee uses a ‘piston’-type mechanism in order to generate extremely deep and rumbly oscillations.” Basically, the Queen Bee is not strictly a vibrator. It oscillates rather than vibrates.

The Queen Bee is a dark steely grey and looks a bit like a weird, futuristic hairbrush. It’s not a beautiful or even a pretty toy. Its vibe screams “I mean business and I am not here to be decorative.”

Hot Octopuss Queen Bee hairbrush-shaped sex toy with the official packaging
Image: Hot Octopuss

It is made of TPE, which is usually a porous material. However, Hot Octopuss uses medical-grade, non-porous TPE that can be thoroughly sanitised. When I asked my contact about this, they provided a thorough and informative info sheet. This transparency, combined with Dangerous Lilly’s endorsement, gives me enough confidence to say that this toy is made of a body-safe material.

Hot Octopuss Queen Bee Oscillating Vibrator: What I Liked

As a lover of broad and rumbly clitoral stimulation, I was pretty excited to try out the Hot Octopuss Queen Bee. Before I delve into all my issues with this product, let’s look at the things I did like.

  • It’s new and innovative. In an industry where stolen designs, knock-offs and fakes are a constant issue, it is refreshing to see genuine innovation.
  • I find the Queen Bee’s controls reasonably easy and intuitive to use. It has 4 buttons: On/Off, pattern change, speed up and speed down. They’re easy to press and I found it easy to change the setting mid-use without breaking my flow.
  • It has six different settings (constant oscillations and five different patterns) as well as multiple speed options to choose from.
  • It’s very rumbly, especially on the lower speeds.
  • It’s fully waterproof.

Perhaps most importantly, the Queen Bee can get me off (though I need the highest setting to get there, and it’s a slow process.)

What I Didn’t Like

Hot Octopuss Queen Bee with button panel on back showing
Image: Hot Octopuss

Unfortunately, despite its cool tech and innovative design, this is where things started to go sideways with the Hot Octopuss Queen Bee oscillating vibrator. Here are all the things I didn’t like about it:

  • The oscillations almost completely stop when I press it firmly against my vulva. The sensation was much stronger and more satisfying when I held it very lightly. That’s a pretty big problem if you like pressure or being able to push against a toy in use!
  • It has a huge seam where the oscillating plate joins the rest of the toy. Fluids and bacteria could easily get trapped here, leading me to seriously question this product’s hygiene over time.
  • The material isn’t very smooth and has a very grabby texture.
  • It’s advertised as having a “gentle warm up massage” sensation if you use the back of the toy (opposite the PulsePlate) but unless you have an unusually sensitive clit you probably won’t feel anything. Pitching this as a “feature” is a stretch at best.
  • My God this thing is loud! I don’t really need discretion in my toy use, but certain types and volumes of noise tend to sensorily overwhelm me. And seriously, this fucker is enragingly loud. If you’re easily distracted by noise, skip it. If you live with other people and need a discreet toy, skip it.
  • A full charge takes four hours and only gives around an hour of runtime.

Hot Octopuss Queen Bee: Verdict

Meh? I was hoping for more from this, given the amazing reviews of HO’s toys for penises. Though I didn’t hate the Queen Bee as much as some reviewers, I certainly didn’t love it as much as I wanted to. I expect I’ll use it occasionally when I’m in a very specific mood but it’s unlikely to be a regular go-to.

Skip this one if you don’t love very broad stimulation, if you need pressure, or if you want a quieter toy.

Thank you to Hot Octopuss for sending me the Queen Bee oscillating vibrator in exchange for an honest review. This post contains affiliate links.

Header image for the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation review

[Toy Review] Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation

Published on by Amy

Every time I review or indeed use a Satisfyer toy now, I end up with “Satisfied” from Hamilton going around in my head. Of course, this means I really want a musical theatre parody about sex toys. Anyone want to write this for/with me? In the meantime, it’s time for a Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation review.

The first time I tried to write a Satisfyer Pro 2 review, I couldn’t understand what all the fuss for this much-hyped toy was about. Looking back now, I’m not sure if I was just doing it wrong (for the value of “wrong” that means “in a way that didn’t work for my body”) or if the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation is just that great of an improvement on the original. Either way, I tried the Pro 2 Next Generation and – spoiler alert! – I loved it!

Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation Review: Details

For anyone who isn’t familiar with Satisfyer’s suction toys, they utilise something called “pressure wave stimulation”. Essentially, you put the nozzle end around your clitoris and the stimulation comes from rapid air pulses rather than vibrations. Some vulva-owners say this type of stimulation can make them come in less than a minute. Others describe it as like having the orgasm forcibly ripped from their body.

Some people describe these toys as “oral sex simulators,” but I think that’s mostly marketing hype. I don’t think it’s truly possible to replicate the sensation of cunnilingus with a sex toy with the technology we have available at present.

The Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation has a plastic body and a silicone nozzle. It is a lovely rose gold colour and has the name of the company embossed on the body. The nozzle is detachable, making it easy to sterilise, and you can purchase more if you need to. This toy is rechargeable and waterproof.

The Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation has a slightly bigger nozzle than the Satisfyer Pro Penguin, which I recently tested and which retails for a similar price-point. If you have a larger clitoris or like a slightly larger area stimulated, the Pro 2 Next Generation would be a better choice over the Penguin (whereas I’d recommend you choose the Penguin if you prefer a bit more of a pinpoint sensation.)

Satisfyer Pro 2 Review: In Use

It took a little practice to position the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation in the right spot for my body. If you’re new to suction toys, be prepared for a little experimentation. Once it’s in the right place, though, the soft and cushy silicone of the nozzle makes this a comfortable toy to use.

One of the most noticeable improvements to the Next Generation model over the original, in my view, is how much easier the buttons are to press! I found the buttons on the previous version frustratingly sticky and difficult to press. It’s also much quieter than the previous iteration. The other major improvement is the addition of dual-directional controls. This means you no longer have to cycle through all 11 speed settings to get back to the previous one.

Unlike vibrators, my go-to MO with suction toys isn’t just “ramp up to max and leave it there.” Even the lower settings of the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation are pleasurable, and I often don’t need to go to the highest setting to get off.

Verdict

With some major issues from the original model ironed out, the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation is an excellent clitoral suction toy.

The Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation is available from Sex Toys UK.

Thanks to Satisfyer for sending me this product to review. All views are, as always, my own. Purchasing through the affiliate links in this post helps to support the blog.

We-Vibe Tango review header image

[Toy Review] We-Vibe Tango

Published on by Amy

Update 02/03/22: The We-Vibe Tango has been replaced by the new and improved Tango X and Tango 2 vibes. I normally remove obsolete reviews but I have left this We-Vibe Tango review up to show the evolution of this product.

Info & Details

Reviews of the We-Vibe Tango often say that it’s the strongest bullet vibrator currently on the market. The Tango is small, measuring only 3.5″ in length and about 0.75″ in diameter. It’s the standard “lipstick” bullet shape with a small flattened edge at the top leading to a point.

We-Vibe Tango small plastic lipstick vibrators in pink and blue
Image: We-Vibe

The We-Vibe Tango is USB rechargeable with a battery life of around 90 minutes, waterproof, and comes with a drawstring storage bag. It is made of ABS (hard) plastic and available in pink or blue.

We-Vibe Tango Review: In Use

I could just say “the We-Vibe Tango is a fucking great product” and leave it there. Because it is. But let’s get a little more in-depth.

This baby is seriously powerful and seriously rumbly. I particularly love how the plastic body of the toy enhances the rumbles and doesn’t dampen the power of the motor at all. (If this sounds like too much for you and you’d prefer your vibrations to be somewhat dampened by a layer of silicone, the We-Vibe Touch is a great option!)

The Tango is super light and tiny, fitting neatly in my hand. Its single button on the base is easy to press. The single-button interface is kind of annoying – you can only scroll through the settings one way, i.e. you can’t go back a step without flicking through them all first. However, the Tango does have a useful memory function: whichever setting you’re using when you switch the toy off, it will return to that same setting when you switch it back on. There are four constant speeds and four patterns.

This seems like a really petty gripe when this We-Vibe Tango review is so positive, but I need to say it: it bugs me that this toy is advertised as “for solo play.” I mean, sure, it’s definitely great for that. But it’s also great for use with a partner, or several. Just as literally any toy can be “for couples,” any toy can also be used for solo sex. Let’s not get prescriptive in how people use toys.

We-Vibe Tango Review: Verdict

I now understand why so many people rave about this toy. I cannot overstate how utterly excellent it is. It is certainly going to be my go-to for a small, light, travel-friendly and powerful as hell vibe.

The We-Vibe Tango retails for £54.99 at the time of writing. It’s definitely on the higher end of the price range for a bullet vibrator, but I think it’s worth it. It is so superior in quality to the overwhelming majority of superficially-similar toys on the market. It also comes with a one-year warranty.

I bought this toy for myself and did not receive anything in exchange for this We-Vibe Tango review. This post does contain affiliate links and if you buy through one, I make a small commission. All views are mine.

Header image for a review of the Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation

[Toy Review] Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation

Published on by Amy

My first attempts at using clitoral suction toys were pretty lacklustre. That’s probably why the Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation has been sitting on top of my pile of “to review” sex toys for the last two weeks, trying to guilt me into actually testing it. But test it I finally did, so let’s do a Satisfyer Pro Penguin review!

Cute little thing, isn’t he? I showed Mr C&K the toy without telling him its name, and he immediately exclaimed, “It looks like a penguin!” So I guess, name-wise, it does what it says on the tin.

Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation: Basics

Like all Satisfyer clitoral suction toys toys, the Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation uses a suction nozzle and pressure waves of air to stimulate the clitoris without actually touching it. This provides an intense sensation without the numbing effect that some buzzy vibrators can cause.

Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation clitoral suction toy in original packaging
Image: Satisfyer

The Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation is waterproof and USB rechargeable. Its nozzle is silicone, and the body is ABS plastic. The nozzle is removeable, which makes cleaning a breeze.

Aesthetically, it’s cute and all but also… a bit baffling? I really wish I’d been a fly on the wall at the marketing meeting where someone said, “we’ve got this brilliant new sex toy technology. You know what would make this product even better? Let’s make it look like a PENGUIN!” Still, the sheer cuteness makes it non-threatening, which some beginners will appreciate, and I find its little bow-tie hilarious, so let’s run with it.

My first reaction upon switching the Penguin on was that it’s a little loud. But the sound is dampened significantly once the nozzle of the toy is against the body.

In Use

The Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation is small and not too heavy. The shape of the body means it fit nicely into my much-smaller-than-average hand. The main button on the front switches the toy on and off as well as controlling the speed, and is nice and easy to press. A really nice feature this toy has is the ability to turn it down as well as up without cycling through all the settings.

Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation clitoral suction toy
Image: Satisfyer

When I first turned the Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation up to its max setting, I initially assumed it wouldn’t do anything for me. Chalk that up to my relative lack of experience with suction toys, because I was wrong. Remember: it’s not a vibrator. It works differently.

To begin with, I must admit I was underwhelmed. Pleasant sensations one second became too intense – so intense as to be painful – remarkably quickly. It’s so precise that the slightest shift in position threw me off my game. This is definitely a toy that takes some practice.

What I learned, though, is that it’s all about positioning with this one. Being even slightly off can alter the entire experience. Personally, having it all the way over my clitoral glans is way too intense for me. Over the hood is the sweet spot. The sensation is something between a suck and a caress.

My advice when you’re using a suction toy like the Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation, particularly if you’re new to them, is to try to throw out your assumptions about how they’re “supposed” to work and what your body likes. These toys might feel superficially a bit like vibrators, but they’re actually quite different. Expect a learning curve accordingly.

Satisfyer Penguin Review: Verdict

A fun and playful toy that requires some experimentation, but ultimately delivers on performance as well as cuteness.

The Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation is available from retailers such as The Pleasure Garden, Good Vibes, Babeland, and Sex Toys UK.

Thanks to Satisfyer for sending me this product in exchange for an honest review. All views are my own! Affiliate links appear in this post.

Lovehoney Desire clitoral vibrator

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Desire Luxury Clitoral Vibrator

Published on by Amy

I bought my first sex toy (a tiny bullet vibe) from Lovehoney UK over a decade ago, and I still go there for the majority of my sexy needs. This week, I received a new Lovehoney vibrator to test and review: the Lovehoney Desire Luxury Clitoral Vibrator.

Other products in this range include a the Desire bullet vibrator, and the Desire knicker vibrator.

The back of the Lovehoney Desire Clitoral Vibrator in purple

Lovehoney Desire Clitoral Vibrator: About the Product

The Lovehoney Desire Luxury Clitoral Vibrator is a simple little oval-shaped clitoral vibe. It’s USB rechargeable, waterproof, and has a simple three-button interface. It measures around 3″ in length and is inflexible but made of soft silicone.

This toy also comes in an attractive and discreet case. It is similar in shape to the VēDO Izzy, though without the nub on the end.

The front and buttons of the Lovehoney Desire Clitoral Vibrator in purple

The end curves to a soft point, which is ideal for those who like their clitoral stimulation a little more direct and focused. You can also use the rounder end for a more generalised sensation, if you prefer.

In Use

The Lovehoney Desire Luxury Clitoral Vibrator is small and light, fitting well in my hand. The buttons are easy to press and the controls are so self-explanatory that I haven’t even opened the instruction booklet. I appreciate the dual-directional controls, as this makes it easy to move up and down between the speeds and settings.

This toy has eight patterns in total. It can be positioned against your clitoris in different ways depending on where you like your vibrations focussed. I actually found it worked best when I held it to my clit side-on, but all bodies are different.

The Desire Clitoral Vibrator’s main flaw is its power, or lack thereof. The motor is pretty mediocre. Not exactly buzzy, but definitely not really strong enough for me. I can get off with it, but I usually can’t be bothered and end up reaching for a more powerful toy instead.

Lovehoney Desire Luxury Clitoral Vibrator: Verdict

It’s… fine?

The Lovehoney Desire Clitoral Vibrator is a very middle of the road vibe. Mid price, mid power. I don’t love it or hate it. If you’re looking for a basic and reliable clitoral vibrator and don’t need high intensity, it’s a good choice.

This vibrator retails at £69.99 UK/$89.99 US.

This post contains affiliate links. All opinions are my own.