sex toys Archives

Tracy's Dog Swirlii rotating vibrator review header image

[Toy Review] Tracy’s Dog Swirlii Rotating Vibrator

Published on December 17, 2024March 20, 2026 by Amy

It’s time for a review of another Tracy’s Dog toy: the Swirlii rotating vibrator.

Tracy’s Dog Swirlii

The Tracy’s Dog Swirlii is a wearable rotating vibrator designed to be worn inside your underwear for hands-free pleasure. It features a main insertable shaft which sits inside the vagina and rotates in a circle, a flexible small appendage that vibrates, and an external part with a raised bump that stimulates the clit. This external arm also helps to anchor the toy in place. At first, I wasn’t sure what the little flexible appendage was for or where to put it. Eventually I realised that it is meant to go inside along with the main inserable arm.

The Swirlii comes with a remote control as well as a drawstring storage bag. It is USB rechargeable with the included magnetic charging cable, and IPX7 waterproof (i.e. completely submersible.)

The Tracy’s Dog Swirlii measures around 4.5″ in length and 5″ in height. Its insertable portion measures 3.5″ in length and around 1.4″ in diameter at the widest point. It is made of body-safe lilac silicone.

What I Liked About the Tracy’s Dog Swirlii

The Tracy’s Dog Swirlii rotating vibrator is such an unusual design, and I was curious to try it out. First let’s look at all the things about it that I liked.

It came attractively packaged in a smart and sturdy box, and the inclusion of a storage bag is a nice touch.
The colour is really pretty! I love lilac and it’s a more unusual colour for a sex toy than a brighter or darker purple.
The silicone is soft and smooth.
The flexibility of the external arm means that you can position it in a few different ways depending on what works for your body.
At first glance, I was really confused about the shape of the Tracy’s Dog Swirlii’s insertable shaft. I couldn’t work out why it’s almost scoop-shaped rather than just rounded. Eventually I realised it’s so that it kind of hugs the vibrating appendage (sorry, I can’t think of a better term for it!) against the front wall of the vagina – i.e. where the G-spot is for most bodies – when it’s in use. This initially baffling design is actually pretty clever!

I love the rotating motion! As someone who doesn’t really enjoy internal vibrations, this is such a fabulous change.
The user interface is simple, with a single button on the toy itself and then two buttons on the remote control. Learning how to use it is a breeze.
Sound-wise, it’s fairly quiet. I’m not sure it’s quiet enough to wear in public (unless you’re in a very noisy space like a nightclub) but the inevitable whirring noise you get with rotating toys isn’t anywhere near as bad as many I’ve tried.
On the higher levels, the vibrations are pretty powerful.
The remote’s responsiveness is good and works up to 10m away.
Using the remote control, you can choose to use the Tracy’s Dog Swirlii’s vibrations and the rotation together or separately. You can also scroll through the settings – 10 vibration modes and 3 rotation modes – of each motor completely independently of the other.
When worn with underwear, it stays in place pretty well, allowing for hands-free use.
At £48.15, its price point is pretty reasonable.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

There were also a few things about the Tracy’s Dog Swirlii that didn’t work so well for me.

Inserting two different pieces inside me can be tricky and uncomfortable unless I get the angle exactly right. It also makes the actual insertable diameter wider than will be comfortable for some users. A lot of lubrication is essential with this one. A couple of sachets of lube were included, but I won’t use them because they contain ingredients such as glycerin, propylene glycol, and disodium EDTA.
The vibrations are very buzzy. The result is that they make my clit feel numb and tingly long before I get close to coming.
I would have preferred dual-directional controls, preferably on the toy itself but at least on the remote control.

This might be petty, and admittedly isn’t a gripe with the toy itself, but this bit of Tracy’s Dog’s marketing copy also really bugs me: “Put on your sexiest lingerie, grab Swirlii and put it right into your panties. Call up your partner and hand him a remote.” Why are we assuming my partner is a “him”? I literally work in this industry and I still find this kind of assumed heteronormativity so so offputting and alienating.

Verdict

There were a lot of things about the Tracy’s Dog Swirlii that I liked. Overall, though, I unfortunately have to conclude it’s not one for me due to the diameter of the insertable portions and the buzziness of the vibrations. I still think it’s a well-designed product and will work very well for many people, especially those who are comfortable with wider insertables and who enjoy strong but buzzy vibrations.

I’m glad it exists, but I think I’ll likely be passing it along for someone else to enjoy.

The Swirlii retails for £48.15 at full price. Get it direct from Tracy’s Dog and don’t forget: “coffee10” at checkout for 10% off.

Thanks to Tracy’s Dog for sponsoring this review and sending me the Swirlii rotating vibrator to test. All views are, as always, my own.

Juliet Toys Vortex long butt plug/large anal beads review header

[Toy Review] Juliet Toys Vortex Large Anal Beads

Published on November 25, 2024March 20, 2026 by Amy

Regular readers of my work may have noticed a new site sponsor in the right hand sidebar. Juliet Toys is a large retailer selling hundreds of products across dozens of categories, from classic vibrators and dildos to fantasy toys, BDSM gear, anal toys, and much more. I’m thrilled to have them on board as a C&K sponsor. They also invited me to review for them, and I received their Vortex Extra Large Anal Beads to try out.

What is the Juliet Toys Vortex?

The Vortex by Juliet Toys is a kind of combination between extra large anal beads and a long butt plug. It’s available in three sizes: small, medium, or large. I received the small, which measures 9.5″ in total length. Due to the nature of the toy, that’s basically all insertable length except for maybe a quarter inch of base. The three beads measure (in ascending order from smallest to largest) 1.4″, 1.6″, and 1.7″ in diameter.

Now, this is more than big enough for me. There is, frankly, no universe in which I would consider 9.5″ of insertable length to be “small.” My butt isn’t that brave, and super huge anal toys have never really been my thing. But they might be yours! If so, you might like the medium (which has a total length of 11.4″ and a widest bead diameter of 2.3″) or the large (total length of 13.2″, widest bead diameter of 2.7″.)

Yes, whichever way you look at it, this is a large toy.

The Vortex is made of 100% body-safe silicone. It begins in a narrow spiral shaft down from a tapered tip, then the lower portion is made up of the three “beads.” It ends in a flared base, which is an absolutely essential safety component for an anal toy. This base is also a suction cup.

This toy has no motor, so it’s easy to clean (the boiling method is what I recommend) and fine to use in the bath or shower, if you like.

What I Liked About the Vortex Extra Large Anal Beads

Once I got over my initial reaction to the Vortex extra large anal beads (“good lord this thing is enormous!”), I found that there are a lot of things I like about it. Namely:

It’s a really pretty colour! Specifically, an attractive burnt orange-gold shade. This is an unusual colour for sex toys and also kind of shimmers. I’m here for it. I really believe aesthetics matter for sex toys, so going that extra step to make something pretty will always impress me.
The silicone is fairly soft and really squishy.
I think, for people who enjoy challenging anal toys, this is an excellent design. It starts off relatively gently with the small head and the slim spiral tip, allowing you to get used to having something inside you before attempting the larger size of the beads.
Due to the slowly increasing size as you move further down the toy, it’s ideal for people who want to play with anal training or anal stretching. Going slowly is really key here, not just to ensure you have a good time but also to keep things safe.

It’s entirely possible to use just a part of the Vortex extra large anal beads, if you prefer. It lends itself well to exploring slowly, finding out what you like. Even if you end up deciding that super deep penetration or very girthy toys aren’t for you, the top portion of the toy is still entirely usable.
It’s very, very flexible. I can imagine this might be a downside for some users, but it will be a plus for many more including me. When it comes to larger toys, flexibility can help with insertion and comfort. It also allows for more flexibility in positioning. And, if you’re trying to target a particular spot (such as the prostate, if you have one), the flexibility can make that easier.
If you have a vagina, you can also use the Vortex as a vaginal toy. It’s great for G-spots for exactly the same reasons it’s great for prostates. And, if you prefer a slower warm-up or a slimmer toy for vaginal penetration, this is perfect for that. Remember: a toy that has been inside a butt should never go inside a vagina without first being sterilised. At an absolute minimum, put a condom over it.
The suction cup is seriously strong and stays in position well on any flat, firm surface.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

On a personal level, I think this toy is just too big for me to realistically use it as an anal toy with any kind of regularity. When I use butt toys at all, which really isn’t that often, I usually stick to smaller ones. But that’s purely a matter of my body’s preferences and I can’t find any significant criticisms of the Vortex as a product in general.

Juliet Toys Vortex Extra Large Anal Beads: Verdict

The Vortex is an excellent toy for its target audience: people who enjoy (or want to experiment with) long anal toys, extra large anal beads, or other kinds of large anal insertables. And, if you try it and find that’s not for you, there are also numerous other ways to enjoy it.

The Vortex is well-designed, well-made, body-safe, and versatile. What more could you want from a toy?

Please remember that if you’re doing any kind of anal play, adequate lubrication is essential. Always use more than you think you need, and reapply it regularly. For a silicone toy, I recommend a good water-based lube.

The Vortex extra large anal beads set retails for $39.90 for the small size, $49.90 for the medium size, and $59.90 for the large size. All in all I’d say it’s very good value for the size and quality of product.

Thanks to Juliet Toys for sponsoring this review and sponsoring the site! Affiliate links appear in this post and I will make an additional small commission if you use them. All views, as always, are mine.

Nothosaur Zodiac sex toys write-up header image

Introducing Nothosaur’s Zodiac Sex Toys Range

Published on November 25, 2024April 2, 2026 by Amy

Despite its immense popularity in many queer circles, I’m really not much of an astrology person. I don’t read my horoscope. I think the ways in which the traits attributed to my sign relate to me are broadly coincidental. Even so, lots of people are super into astrology and I think it can be fun and harmless as long as you don’t take it too seriously or rely on it exclusively as a way to make important decisions.But what about picking a sex toy based on your sign? Nothosaur has recently intrduced a range of Zodiac-inspired sex toys to their range.

Nothosaur Zodiac Sex Toys

Even for a cynic like me, these toys are absolutely gorgeous. Each zodiac sex toy is based around a mythical character or some aspect of this mythological fantasy world Nothosaur has created, with traits corresponding to the relevant sign.

Products are available for 10 of the 12 signs. So you’re stuck on what toy to pick, why not let the stars guide you? There are currently no products in the range for Sagittarius or Gemini. Hopefully these will be added in due course!

All the sex toys in the Zodiac range, like all Nothosaur toys, are made of premium quality body-safe silicone. Most are available in a range of sizes, customizable firmness levels, and colourways.

Let’s have a look at each of them in turn.

♈ Nothosaur Toys Aries (Ram): March 21–April 19

According to believers, people born under Aries tend to be confident, passionate, energetic, and loyal. They are natural leaders but can also be impulsive and hot-headed.

Nothosaur’s Aries toy is described as a sincere and honest shepherd who is also hot and full of passion. His penis is like a sculpture, based around the ♈ Aries symbol turned upside down. Wider at the bottom, the Aries dildo is richly textured with curves and swirls based on Aries’ horns, rising to a bulbous head at the top.

♉ Nothosaur Toys Taurus (Bull): April 20–May 20)

Tauruses are thought to be stable, dependable, and mature as well as highly sensual. However, they can also be jealous and materialistic.

Nothosaur’s Taurus toy is described as “a sexual gladiator who flaunts his lust in the Colosseum”, proud yet also charming. The Taurus dildo features a bulging shaft that widens to a broad head adorned with several ring piercings. In the recommended gold shade, and with the coins around the base, it suggests wealth, success, and status.

♋ Nothosaur Toys Cancer (Crab): June 22–July 22

The sign of Cancer is associated with emotionality, nurturance, creativity, and sensitivity. Cancers are thought to be romantics, highly loyal but also prone to rapid changes in mood.

Nothosaur’s Craboo toy, based on the sign of Cancer, is a “loyal and rambunctious sea prodigal” known for its sincerity and loyalty. The two-pronged Craboo toy, with one fixed and one flexible arm, represent the claws of a crab and offer unparalleled dual insertable stimulation. Ideal for those looking for a combined vaginal/anal toy.

♌ Leo (Lion): July 23–August 22

Leo, or the lion constellation, is associated with traits such as confidence, generosity, enjoying the limelight, and a fiercely protective streak towards loved ones.

Nothosaur’s Leo toy is a hunter who seeks out not food, but sex. Long and flexible, the Leo toy is based on this creature’s tongue. Adorned with bumps and lifelife vein detailing, this one-size toy is long but relatively slender, perfect for those who prefer girth over length and prefer some flex to their insertable toys.

♍ Virgo (Virgin): August 23–September 22

Astrology believers describe Virgos as perfectionist, detail-oriented, and analytical. Described as helpful and modest, Virgos are also thought to have tendencies towards being overly critical, stubborn, and uptight.

Nothosaur’s Virgo range includes three toys. The Virgo dildo is inspired by Persephone, the goddess of youth, and consists of several pairs of overlapping folded angel wings. Virgo’s Throne is a masturbator that wraps the user’s penis in these folds, while Virgo’s Gaze is a clitoral grinder based on their texture.

♎ Libra (Balance): September 23–October 23

The sign of Libra is all about balance, fairness, and harmony. Libras are describes as fair-minded, diplomatic, and natural peacemakers, though they can also be indecisive and hesitant.

Nothosaur’s Libra toy is a catlike creature, handsome but prone to overthinking. The Libra dildo, like the sign it is based on, is all about balance. Girthy towards the centre then slimmer towards the top, it is also heavily textured on one side and smoother on the other. It has a slight curve and some flexibility. Perfect for those who want the best of all words.

♏ Scorpio (Scorpion): October 24–November 21

Scorpios are described as passionate people who feel their feelings intensely. Resourceful, brave, and independent are some of the positive words associated with them. The negatives include jealousy, stubbornness, and a tendency to keep secrets.

Nothosaur’s Scorpio toy is a secretive and passionate man who wants to be loved but isn’t afraid to use his stinger to defend himself if necessary. The curving shaft of the Scorpio dildo, based on this stinging tail, features a hard exterior adorned with a unique bumpy texture. The four protruding “muscles” add a little extra friction during use.

♑ Capricorn (Goat): December 22–January 19

Some describe Capricorns as hard-working, ambitious, and practical. They are known for being honest, sensitive, and committed, but also pessimistic and proud.

Nothosaur’s Capricorn toy is a creature with the head of a gazelle, and a body resembling a fish. Seductive and sexual, he is also a symbol of creativity, music and poetry. The Capricorn dildo is based on a horn, descending down to a fishtail with scale detailing towards the base. The small hooked tip make insertion easy, while the gentle knot in the centre provides a light feeling of pleasurable stretching.

♒ Aquarius (Water Bearer): January 20–February 18

The ultimate water sign, Aquarians are thought to be clever, analytical, innovative, and honest. They are also said to be progressive, and to trend towards a rebellious nature.

The Aquarius toy is based on the waters surrounding Nothosaur’s fantasy world where its mythical creatures live. Like the water sign it is based on, the silicone of the Aquarius dildo seems to flow, giving an almost liquid appearance. The bumps along the shaft mimic rising waves, and the top of the fountain spills over with stimulating ripples.

♓ Pisces (Fish): February 19–March 20

Last but not least in Nothosaur’s Zodiac sex toys line-up, we have Pisces. Pisces are described as passionate, intuitive, and creative, fast to forgive and quick at making friends. Their negative traits are said to include being moody, closed off, and indecisive.

The Pisces dildo is inspired by Aphrodite, the goddess of sexuality, and with a texture based on rippling ocean waves. With its thick shaft, scales, and protruding seaweed finger, the Pisces offers numerous different sensations to explore.

Thanks to Nothosaur Toys for sponsoring this post! You can buy all toys in the Zodiac range using my affiliate links in this post. All product images are by Nothosaur.

Funzze 3-in-1 triple stimulator clitoral and vaginal stimulation toy review header

[Toy Reviews] Funzze 3-in-1 Sucking & Flapping Thrusting Triple Stimulator

Published on November 25, 2024April 2, 2026 by Amy

Toys that try to have multiple functions are a mixed bag, and today I’m trying another one! This time we’re looking at Funzze’s 3-in-1 triple stimulator, a vibrator/sucker/thruster toy for both penetrative and clitoral stimulation.

What is the Funzze 3-in-1 Triple Stimulator Vibrator?

The Funzze 3-in-1 Sucking & Flapping Thrusting Vibrator (hereafter the Funzze 3-in-1 for the sake of brevity) is a triple stimulator that offers three different ways to use it. Its head end features a clitoral suction stimulator on one side and, on the reverse side, this same motor allows the flat surface to make a “tapping” motion. At the other end, the toy’s handle is also an insertable dildo with a thrusting mechanism.

Funzze triple stimulator official product picture to show clitoral suction and tapping motions — Image: Funzze

The Funzze 3-in-1 Triple Stimulator is made of body-safe silicone and available in either purple or green. It is IPX-6 waterproof (suitable for use in the shower and for cleaning under the tap, but not fully submersible) and USB rechargeable. It measures around 7.5″ in total length, 3.5″ in insertable length.

Funzze triple stimulator 3-in-1 vibrator shown in purple and green — Image: Funzze

What I Liked About the Funzze 3-in-1

There’s a common problem with sex toys that try to do too many different things: they do none of them particularly well. Happily, this isn’t the case with the Funzze 3-in-1. Let’s talk about the things I liked about this triple stimulator.

The clitoral suction part performs well. It is moderately intense on the lowest setting and very intense on the higher ones. One thing to be aware of is that the nozzle is on the smaller side, so if you have a larger clit that might be something to be aware of. But if you enjoy serious focused clitoral stimulation, this toy will likely work well for you.
The tapping function is genuinely excellent. The stimulation it provides offers the depth and intensity of very rumbly vibrations. Even the lowest speed feels surprisingly intense, particularly for a toy at this price-point.
The construction of Funzze Triple Stimulator toy feels sturdy. I can press it firmly against my body and get plenty of pressure without feeling like I’m going to damage it.
I kind of like that the suction and tapping functions operate off the same motor. This means you can switch between the two in a second, just by turning it around.

Funzze triple stimulator 3-in-1 vibrator in purple with buttons illuminated in blue

The two motors—suction/tapping and thrusting—are controllable separately. They can also be used together, though I can’t think of any reason you’d want to that doesn’t defy the laws of physics!
The controls are simple and intuitive, and the buttons are easy to press.
The thrusting part has quite a short “length”—only maybe an inch or two of thrust. This won’t work for everyone, of course, but for those who (like me) enjoy penetration but often find deep thrusting more painful than pleasurable, it’s a great choice.
With 10 thrusting speeds and 10 sucking/tapping intensity levels, the Funzze Triple Stimulator is a truly customisable experience with numerous options for different users and different preferences.
It comes with a storage bag included.
The retail price of $42.99 (that’s around £34) is exceptional value for the quality.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

There’s one main thing I don’t like about the Funzze 3-in-1 triple stimulator: the noise. Whichever way you’re using it, this thing is loud. Both the loud buzz of the head end and the back-and-forth squeak of the thruster are really offputting and grating to me. Which is a shame in a product that I otherwise liked so much.

Funzze triple stimulator 3-in-1 vibrator

My other criticism is the lack of dual-directional controls. Whichever of the Funzze Triple Stimulator toy’s three functions I’m using, it would be nice to be able to scroll through the speeds in either direction.

Funzze 3-in-1 Triple Stimulator: Verdict

Overall, the Funzze 3-in-1 is a much better product than many of the “multiple things in one” options on the market. The clitoral suction stimulator does its job well, and the thrusting function is gentle enough that I can actually use it. It’s that glorious tapping function, though, that really elevates this one for me.

A surprising winner. Good job, Funzze!

The Funzze 3-in-1 triple stimulation toy retails for $42.99.

Thanks to Funzze for sponsoring this review of their triple stimulation toy! This means they paid me to test the toy and write an honest account of my experience. All views, as always, are mine.

We-Vibe Wand review header image featuring purple background with stars

[Toy Review] We-Vibe Wand 2

Published on November 11, 2024April 2, 2026 by Amy

I was surprised, looking back, to see that I never published a We-Vibe Wand review on here when the first iteration of this toy launched back in 2020. I was sure I had, but apparently not. Anyway, I received the new edition – the Wand 2 – this week, so you’re getting a We-Vibe Wand review at last!

We-Vibe Wand 2: Details

The We-Vibe Wand 2 is a cordless wand vibrator. It measures around 11″ in total length, with a 2.1″ diameter head at its widest point. It is made of soft and body-safe purple silicone, with a curved handle, large head, and flexible neck. The Wand is controllable either manually or through the We-Vibe app. Additional features include a travel lock and WOW Tech’s[1] Smart Silence functionality – more on that in a minute.

The Wand 2 is USB rechargeable, giving around 2 hours of runtime for a 2.5 hour full charge. It is also IPX7 waterproof, meaning you can use it safely in the bath or shower.

[1] We-Vibe’s parent company which also owns brands such as Womanizer, Romp, and Arcwave.

What I Liked About the We-Vibe Wand 2

At risk of spoiler-ing myself before I get to the overall verdict, let’s begin by acknowledging that the We-Vibe Wand 2 is a genuinely fucking excellent vibrator. I’m not usually particularly brand-loyal when it comes to sex toys, but I do make an exception for my wands (#Doxy4Life!) It takes a lot for another wand to make it into my easy-access sex chest. But this one has managed it.

Image for We-Vibe Wand review showing the toy's bendy neck

What makes it so great?

Intense, deep, powerful, and rumbly as fuck vibrations. This is one of the rumbliest vibrators I have ever used. Even better, it keeps that rumbliness even on the highest settings. I can’t sing the praises of this toy’s vibrations enough. Whatever motor We-Vibe are using, they have set a new gold standard for cordless toys with this one.
The shape of the head is fantastic. With the broad, rounded sides and pronounced “pleasure edges”, you can switch easily between broad and focused stimulation.
The flexible neck enables easy and comfortable positioning.
The manual controls are simple and comprehensive. You can scroll in either direction through the 10 vibration patterns and 10 intensity levels, setting exactly the combination you prefer and moving between them easily.
If you have the original We-Vibe Wand, its two included attachments will also fit on the Wand 2. Other brands’ wand attachments may also work. For example, though the fit isn’t quite perfect, I’ve found that I can easily use my Godemiche Wand Toppers with the Wand 2.

We-Vibe Wand 2 with wand attachments — Feat. wand attachments from We-Vibe Wand original

Connecting to the We-Vibe app (formerly WeConnect) is quick and straightforward. If it’s been a while since you downloaded the We-Vibe app, you might need to update it or download the newest version for it to pick up the Wand 2, but that’s also fast and free.
The app offers various possibilities, such as controlling the toy from your phone, switching between your favourite settings instantly, or creating “playlists” of various settings in a particular order. You can also use Ambient Mode to vibe along to ambient noise (in my experience it has to be pretty loud for this to really work) or Beat Mode to connect your toy to music stored on your device (not compatible with music from streaming apps.) And, of course, you can hand over control to a partner from anywhere in the world as long as they have an internet connection.
The app’s responsiveness is reliable and instant.
The app is a nice-to-have rather an an essential. As someone who rarely uses sex toy apps in real-world contexts outside of reviewing, I much prefer the toys to speak for themselves and the apps to be optional extras. This toy achieves that aim.
The Smart Silence function is one of my favourite ever WOW Tech inventions. This means that the toy is equipped with a sensor and will start vibrating when it is in contact with your body, then stop automatically when you take it away. This is ideal for people who require discretion, and also for people who prefer a seamless stop-and-start experience. Smart Silence is on by default, but you can also switch it off if you find you don’t like it.
Though not exactly “whisper quiet” (stop claiming this, toy companies, it’s almost never true!), the We-Vibe Wand 2’s sound level is reasonably unobtrusive particularly for its level of power.
Great value. To be clear, the We-Vibe Wand 2 isn’t a cheap toy. But for what you get, the price of £129.99 in the UK/$149 in the US is very reasonable.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Because no product is perfect, the We-Vibe Wand 2 does have some minor downsides too.

Unlike the original We-Vibe Wand, the Wand 2 does not come with any attachments included. This wasn’t really an issue for me personally because, as mentioned above, it will work with the attachments I still have from my original Wand as well as other attachments in my collection. However, that won’t be true for people who didn’t own the We-Vibe Wand original or who don’t already have a collection of attachments.
The app’s “Touch Mode”, as I’ve identified in previous reviews, is pretty useless. The vibrations will turn on in response to touches, but whatever I do I cannot get the intensity to change.
It’s pretty heavy.
A lot of the vibrations transfer through the handle, particularly on the higher settings. This can be a problem for people who suffer with hand pain or discomfort.

We-Vibe Wand Review: Verdict

This is an absolutely amazing toy.

With the exception of the lack of attachments, this iteration is an improvement in virtually every way on the original We-Vibe Wand. It has better app connectivity and responsiveness, more comprehensive manual controls, and a better head design. Most importantly, it has one of the best – if not the best – motors I’ve ever encountered in a cordless toy.

You can purchase the We-Vibe Wand 2 from Lovehoney UK for £129.99 or Lovehoney US for $149. It is also available directly from We-Vibe North America and We-Vibe Europe.

Thanks to Lovehoney for enabling this We-Vibe Wand review by sending me the Wand 2 to try. All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Toy Reviews] Tracy’s Dog Toys: Beta & Elatia

Published on November 8, 2024March 19, 2026 by Amy

Since going viral with their OG Sucking Vibrator thanks to a hilarious Amazon review back in 2019, the oddly-named but highly successful Tracy’s Dog have added an array of new products to their range. This month, I received two new Tracy’s Dog toys to try: the Beta (full name the Beta Rabbit 3-in-1 Sucking Swing Vibrator) and the Elatia (full name the Elatia Clitoral Tickling Vibrator.)

The company asked me to create a single post covering both of these products, so it’s time for a duo of mini reviews of two Tracy’s Dog rabbit toys: the Beta and Elatia.

Tracy’s Dog Beta: Details

Let’s start with the Beta.

The Tracy’s Dog Beta is a rabbit-style vibrator with a clitoral suction arm rather than the more traditional clitoral vibrator. The vibrating internal arm makes a come-hither back-and-forth motion designed to mimic the movement of a lover’s fingers against your G-spot.

This toy is made of body-safe silicone in dark purple, with a pink plastic accent panel on the back. It measures around 9.5″ in total length, 5″ in insertable length, and 1.4″ in diameter at the widest point.

The Beta is USB rechargeable and you’ll get around an hour of battery life out of a full charge. It is IPX5 waterproof, which means it can withstand jets of water but not submersion. In other words, you can clean it under the tap but don’t use it in the bath.

The Tracy’s Dog Beta retails for £59.28 at time of writing. Let’s look at what I liked and disliked about it.

What I Liked About the Tracy’s Dog Beta

The flexibility of both shafts is excellent, meaning that it will work for a wider range of bodies.
I love the come-hither motion, which feels fantastic.
The internal arm and the clitoral stimulator can be controlled separately, and even used independently of one another.
When I can get it positioned properly, the clitoral stimulator is reasonably pleasurable on the highest setting.
Its noise level is pretty quiet, particularly the whirring sound made by the come-hither motion.
The curved handle makes the toy easy to hold and the buttons are well positioned and easy to press.

What I Didn’t Like About the Beta

I wish it was possible to use the Tracy’s Dog Beta’s come-hither motion without the vibrations. Like a lot of people, I don’t find internal vibrations pleasurable and they can even be actively uncomfortable.
The vibrations themselves are super buzzy.
No matter how I positioned it, I couldn’t get the clitoral stimulator to make a good connection with my clit without having to angle the internal part in a way that was painful.
I wish the clitoral stimulator had more settings. The internal arm has an impressive ten, but the suction part only three. To me, this speaks to an ongoing problem with the design of these types of toys: it views clitoral stimulation as an afterthought or add-on, rather than the main event that it is for the vast majority of vulva-owners.
A toy that retails for almost £60 really should be properly waterproof.

Let’s move on to the Elatia.

Tracy’s Dog Elatia: Details

The Elatia is one of the newest Tracy’s Dog toys and, like the Beta, is a rabbit style toy with a difference.

Like the Beta, the Tracy’s Dog Elatia is also made of dark purple silicone. It has a gold plastic accent around the button panel. This one features two internal “ears” that move back and forth in an alternating motion, and a “tickling” clitoral stimulator made up of lots of little flexible strands.

The Elatia measures around 10″ in total length, 5.5″ in insertable length, and 1.3″ in diameter at the widest point.

The Elatia is USB rechargeable, and again you’ll get about an hour of use from a full charge. This toy is IPX6 waterproof, meaning it is protected from powerful jets of water. This one is likely fine for shower play and washing under the tap, but again should not be submerged.

The Elatia retails for £56.46 at the time of writing.

What I Liked About the Elatia

The shape and construction of this one works well for my body. It is easy to insert it and then position the external stimulator over my clit without needing to contort into any weird positions!
It has 10 different vibration modes, 7 tickling modes, and 6 come-hither modes. Considering you can use them in any combination, this is hundreds of possible mix-and-match combos to figure out what works for your body.
The almost “tapping” sensation you get from the internal ears is really interesting and different. Personally I only like it on the lowest setting, as anything more becomes too intense, but your mileage may vary.
All three motors are controllable completely independently. Want clit tickling and vibrations without internal movement? Want the come-hither motion without vibrations? All three at once? You got it.
The clit tickler is truly excellent. It’s more gentle than a traditional vibrator, and I’m not sure I could ever orgasm from it, but as either a warm-up or an addition to internal stimulation it’s amazing. I kind of want a clitoral toy that just does that now, to be honest!
The clitoral stimulator’s motor is good – it’s strong and not buzzy.
Like the Beta, the Tracy’s Dog Elatia’s noise level is relatively quiet and unobtrusive compared with many similar toys I’ve tried.

What I Didn’t Like About the Elatia

The shaft is completely rigid, meaning that positioning options are limited. The shape of this one actually works reasonably well for my body, as mentioned above, but the rigidity means it won’t work for a lot of users.
All those little silicone fronds and the space between the ears are a nightmare to clean.
The internal vibrations have a decent level of power, but they’re so buzzy that all the benefits of that power are lost.
As I said about the Beta, the Tracy’s Dog Elatia should really be submersible at this price point.

Tracy’s Dog Beta vs Elatia: Which One Did I Like Best?

This probably isn’t going to surprise anyone who has noted the disparity in the likes/dislikes lists, but of these two Tracy’s Dog rabbit toys I far prefer the Elatia. It works much better for my body from a positioning perspective, has an actually-good clitoral stimulator, and has completely independent controls for the three motors.

I don’t think the Beta is necessarily a bad product. I just don’t think it’s one for me.

Thanks to Tracy’s Dog for sponsoring this review and sending me the Beta and Elatia rabbit vibrators to try! All views are, as always, my own. Check out my other Tracy’s Dog toy reviews and peruse their catalogue for more.

Header image for Funzze review of double-ended stainless steel dildo

[Toy Review] Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo

Published on November 7, 2024March 21, 2026 by Amy

Funzze is a relatively new brand on my radar, having only previously tried one of their toys at the time of writing. However, they do have some interesting things in their catalogue, so I was happy to agree to doing another set of reviews. This week, we’re looking at the Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo.

Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo Details

The Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo is described as “a stainless steel G spot dildo with a sinuous shape, equipped with 2 insertable ends that offer different sensations.” That’s a pretty accurate summary. (Sinuous, FYI, means “having many curves and turns” and is just a very pleasing word to say.)

One end of the dildo is a smooth curve with a bulbed head, and the other end has four rippling beads. The Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo measures 8.5″ end to end and a slimline 1.5″ in diameter at the widest part of the beads.

In terms of comparisons, it’s somewhat similar to the famous Njoy Fun Wand. However, the curve is less pronounced, the bulbs flow together rather than being completely distinct and separate pieces, and the head is a different shape. As such, I feel comfortable calling this a similar design rather than a copycat or a ripoff. At the end of the day, there are a lot of similar toys out there from different manufacturers and true innovation is rare in this industry.

Let’s Talk About Stainless Steel for a Minute

This toy is made of 304 grade stainless steel, which is a hardwearing, non-porous, and body-safe material. You can use it in water, boil-wash it to sterilise, and use it with any kind of lube you like.

304 is a cheaper alternative to 316 stainless steel, which contains higher levels of the element molybdenum. Molybdenum increases the corrosion resistance of stainless steel as well as increasing its heat resistance at high temperatures, neither of which are likely to be particularly relevant for sex toy use under normal circumstances.

Both 304 and 316 stainless steel contain some amount of nickel, a common allergen. Interestingly, according to the Nickel Institute, there’s a sex difference in play here. This organisation says that 15-16% of women but only around 4-5% of men suffer from nickel allergic contact dermatitis (NACD).

So is 304 stainless steel safe if you have a nickel allergy? The information I could find on this one was mixed. Some sources state that 304 and 316 stainless steels are effectively hypoallergenic. The Nickel Institute says:

For example, nickel-containing stainless steels are used by high quality watch manufacturers. Such high quality stainless steels contain 9% to 28% nickel but do not release sufficient amounts of nickel to cause a nickel allergy.

Some additional sources agree that the risk is minimal. Others, however, state that stainless steels can cause an allergic reaction in people with a nickel allergy. The sources I consulted were even mixed on whether or not 304 and 316 stainless steels were safe for use in body piercing.

Ultimately, you will need to decide on your own safety profile and level of acceptable risk. Personally, given that you’re presumably going to be inserting it into highly sensitive areas of the body and it will certainly make contact with mucus membranes, I wouldn’t risk using a stainless steel dildo if you have a nickel allergy. If you feel comfortable with the risk or know from experience that these toys are okay for you, though, have at it.

What I Liked About the Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo

With all of that said, it was time to dive into trying out the Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo. Let’s look at the things I liked about it first.

The double-ended design means that this stainless steel dildo is essentially two toys in one. As such, it offers a variety of different sensations to explore.
I love the slim shaft. Due to their hardness, stainless steel toys can be seriously intense, even for experienced users. Too much girth would make this toy either uncomfortable or just unusable for me, so the slender design is perfect.
The pronounced head on the smoother end is ideal for targeting the G-spot or prostate. The rippled end is fantastic for lovers of texture. (Pro tip: if thrusting with this toy is too intense for you or feels uncomfortable, try either wiggling it very gently or just holding it in place and allowing your body’s muscles to contract around it.)
The weight! One of the things that makes stainless steel so irresistible for sex toys is the sheer heft it offers. While this can make use more challenging for some, it also offers amazing pay-off in terms of how the toy feels. If you want intensity and lots of it, you’ve come to the right place.
Stainless steel conducts temperature better than almost any other sex toy material. Want to play with some different sensations? Run your toy under warm water or pop it in the fridge for a few minutes before playing.
It arrived in cardboard packaging (recyclable and minimising single-use plastic) and comes with a storage bag included.
It’s quick and easy to clean.
It retails for $69.99 (around £54), which is super good value for a stainless steel toy of this size.

Inevitably, I’m going to be asked if the Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo is anal-safe. I’m a little torn on this one, because it does not technically have a large flared base. So after much deliberation, I’m settling on “probably.” It’s most likely fine as long as you use one end as a handle and insert no more than 50% of the toy at a time. Realistically, it’s also large and heavy enough that the entire toy isn’t going to get sucked up inside you without some serious effort. However, due to the shape, I advise against doing very deep penetration with this one.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

I really have no major criticisms of this product. Overall it’s a great design, excellent value, and a pleasure to use.

The finish on this dildo isn’t as perfectly smooth and shiny as you’ll find on some of the higher end stainless steel toys on the market. However, it’s also quite significantly less expensive than the prices that some of the more well-known and premium brands charge.

In a perfectly ideal world I would have preferred a slightly more pronounced curve, particularly to the smoother end of the dildo. This would make it more effective for very targeted G-spot or prostate stimulation. However, this is really more a matter of personal preference than a criticism of the toy. Bodies are all different, and this toy’s gentle curve will be ideal for some users.

Verdict

When I initially saw this toy, I was a little sceptical due to the relatively low price. However, the Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo is an excellent product and an affordable alternative to some of those high-ticket toys that are out of reach for many would-be users.

The Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo retails for $69.99.

Thanks to Funzze for sending me this product and sponsoring this review. All views, as always, are mine. Product images by Funzze.

Two gay men kissing and embracing on a bed. Header image for FusyFun WAVE review

[Toy Review] FusyFun WAVE Anal Toy for Two

Published on October 31, 2024April 2, 2026 by Amy

Dual stimulation toys for people with vulvas, from rabbit vibrators to wearable toys and much more, have been abundant for a long time. However, there are far fewer dual stim toys for those with penises out there. That’s why, when FusyFun reached out to me, I was excited to check out their “WAVE” dual stim (and shareable) anal toy.

What is the FusyFun WAVE?

The FusyFun WAVE is a vibrating toy designed for anal and penis stimulation. However, it’s a bit of a misnomer to call this a “dual stim” toy; in certain configurations, it can also stimulate the perineum and the balls, making it a triple or even quadruple stimulation toy!

FusyFun WAVE in box with remote control and cable

It has four main parts: an egg shaped bulb with some gently rippled texturing, a raised textured ridge, a stretchy ring, and a long tail with a rigid vibrating nub at the top. It measures 14.88″ in total length, with the insertable bulb measuring 2.56″ in length and 1.3″ in diameter.

FunyFun WAVE laid flat with remote control

The WAVE is made of body-safe silicone in dark blue. It also comes with a plastic remote control.

There’s a little “how to” video on the product page which can help if, like me, you initially struggle to envision how this toy is supposed to work when you unbox it. It covers both solo and partnered use. (The video also covers consent and communication, as well as use of condoms and lube for safer sex, which was a nice unexpected touch!)

The FusyFun WAVE is USB rechargeable, with a 90 minute charge giving around 60 minutes of use time. Its remote requires one CR2032 battery, which is included. The toy is IPX6 waterproof, meaning that it can withstand jets of water but should not be submerged. In other words, it’s fine to wash it under the tap and it’s probably fine to use it in the shower. Don’t take it in the bath (/pool/any other large body of water you might be having sex in) though! The remote control is also not waterproof.

How the WAVE Works

In a nutshell: the bulb end goes into your anus. The stretchy ring can then sit around either your penis or balls, holding the long thin tail and vibrating tip against either the top or underside of your penis.

FusyFun WAVE how-to image — Image: FusyFun

If you like, you can penetrate your partner with your penis and the toy’s tail, adding a little extra girth as well as some internal vibrations for their prostate or G-spot (depending on what type of body they have.) The instructions are weirdly gendered but they don’t need to be; regardless of whether you’re penetrating a vagina or an anus, the toy works in pretty much exactly the same way.

Things I Liked About This Toy

The most obvious thing I like about this toy is that its design is something new and innovative that I haven’t seen before. In a world of endless reiterations of the same basic toy designs, I always get excited when I see something a bit creative and different. The FusyFun WAVE is a really creative approach to stimulating multiple erogenous zones at the same time. In particular, I love that it allows for stimulation of the perineum, an underrated and potentially highly pleasurable area of the body on folks of all genders.

I also love the versatility of the FusyFun WAVE. Not only is it suitable for both solo and shared play, there are also several different ways to use it in each configuration. You can experiment with different positions, and even use the different parts of the toy entirely differently from the “standard” ways if you like.

Some of the other key things I liked about this toy included:

FunyFun WAVE cock ring close up being stretched

It came packaged in an attractive and sturdy branded box. It also comes with a storage bag.
The matte silicone is lovely and soft, and feels high quality.
The main motor is really good! It’s strong and fairly rumbly.
The bendable tail stays in whatever position you put it in. This allows you to position it in exactly the right way for your body, and it won’t move until you want it to.
If you position it right, you can use this toy hands-free, keeping your hands available to do other things.
The texturing, both on the insertable bulb and the perineum stimulator, is excellent. It’s at the perfect level, in my opinion: pronounced enough to feel it, but gentle enough so as not to be uncomfortable.
The super-stretchy ring will accommodate most penis and testicle sizes.
The insertable bulb is small enough to be non-intimidating and accessible to newer anal players.
The buttons are easy to press and the toy is highly responsive to the remote controls.
It is fairly quiet in use, particularly once the bulb end is inside the body.
The $75 price point is very reasonable for the quality.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Along with all the things I liked about the FusyFun WAVE, there were also a few small things I didn’t like so much.

The controls are a little confusing until you get the hang of them. The button on the toy itself only seems to switch on and control the insertable vibrating bulb. The remote allows you to control the bulb and the small vibrating tip independently. You’ll need to remember which button controls which motor, though, or you risk turning the wrong one off at just the wrong moment.
The vibrations in the small tip are very weak and buzzy. This is a real shame considering how good the vibrations in the insertable part are! As it is, it feels like the second motor is a bit of an afterthought.
The vibrations that transmit to the perineum portion are pretty weak, too. An additional motor here would fix this issue.

FusyFun WAVE: Verdict

FusyFun WAVE anal toy demonstrated on a purple silicone dildo — Stunt cock: Lovehoney Lifelike Lover

This toy really surprised me, in a good way! I was a little unsure about the concept, but it’s actually such a good design overall. Some tweaking to make the controls a little more intuitive and improving the smaller motor in the tip could easily turn the FusyFun WAVE from a really good product into a truly excellent one.

The FusyFun WAVE retails for $75.

Thanks to FusyFun for sending me this product and sponsoring this review. All views are, as always, my own.

Womanizer Vibe review header featuring close-up of a woman in mint green lingerie

[Toy Review] Womanizer Vibe

Published on October 24, 2024April 2, 2026 by Amy

Womanizer are best known for their high-end clitoral suction toys. From the travel-friendly Liberty to the revolutionary Next, Enhance, and many more, I’ve loved many of their products over the years. So when I saw they were releasing a vibrator, I immediately knew that a Womanizer Vibe review was in my near future.

What is the Womanizer Vibe?

It’s a vibe. By Womanizer. Yeah, the name pretty much does what it says on the tin with this one.

Specifically, the Womanizer Vibe is a vibrator shaped like many of the iconic Womanizer suction toys I’ve reviewed, with a tapered handle and a rounded end. This end is normally where the suction nozzle would go, but instead we get a kind of hooked head with a central ridge leading to a gentle point. The entire toy measures around 6″ in length.

The main body of the Womanizer Vibe is soft, body-safe silicone and the bottom part of the handle is plastic. Mine is a gorgeous mint green colour. It also comes in blue and pink. The Vibe is IPX-7 waterproof and rechargeable with the included magnetic USB cable. Its running time is around 90 minutes.

According to the product page, the Womanizer Vibe is specifically “designed to be less intense than a pin-point clitoral vibrator.” We’ll get into more of my thoughts on that below.

Womanizer Vibe Review: What I Liked

When I received this toy, I showed the box to Mr C&K. “This toy is described as noiseless,” I said. “That’s obviously going to be laughably untrue, but how laughably untrue do you think it’s going to be?”

Well, fuck me because Womanizer have just made me eat my words. Now it isn’t really technically accurate that the Womanizer Vibe is “noiseless”—it does make some sound—but this thing is seriously, seriously quiet. It’s the kind of low, unobtrusive hum that could come from a household appliance, fan, or air conditioner. No-one is hearing this toy outside your closed bedroom door unless your walls are made of paper. So yes, it is as close to noiseless as I believe it is possible for a vibrator to get.

Womanizer Vibe back side showing buttons

What else did I like about the Womanizer Vibe?

The Womanizer Vibe is literally the rumbliest toy I’ve ever tried and reviewed. This thing gives the kind of deep, penetrating rumbles that very few toys manage. Apparently this is due to something called “UltraWave Vibration.”
Its shape is absolutely brilliant. The broad, smooth sides allow for all-over stimulation, while the central ridge and slightly raised edges offer more precision. Personally, my favourite way to use it is to place the central tip against my clit.
With its broad back and raised head, it is ideal for placing on a bed or other surface and grinding against.
The tapered handle is comfortable to hold.
It has an intuitive and simple three-button interface.
Apart from the easily-avoidable Autopilot sillyness (more on that below), there are no annoying patterns. Just 10 speeds of constant vibration.
It came beautifully packaged in a box that wouldn’t look out of place containing a piece of high-end tech.
It’s gorgeous. Of course, form matters less than functionality when it comes to sex toys, but it doesn’t hurt when they’re pretty and in one of my favourite colours.

The Womanizer Vibe is not the most powerful toy on the market. In fact, Womanizer specifically markets it as being less intense than some of the other products out there. Even so, turns out that rumbles are more important than sheer intensity alone. The orgasms I have with this toy are a slower build than with many of the other vibrators in my collection, but

Anything I Didn’t Like?

I really had to scramble for anything negative to include in my Womanizer Vibe review. Sure, in a totally ideal world I would have liked it to go a notch or two more powerful. But it’s so rumbly that I don’t really miss the extra insensity.

Womanizer Vibe in green held in a woman's hand

A remote control might also have been nice. This vibrator was made for grinding against, and it’s tricky to change the setting when it’s underneath you. A remote would solve this.

I also think the “Autopilot” functions are a bit silly. I don’t want the toy controlling what sensations I feel unless the toy can register and understand my reactions and respond according. (Which, as a concept, sounds equal parts seriously fucking cool and like a Black Mirror episode.) Needless to say it cannot, so instead it’s just a bunch of random intensity changes and the risk of ruining my orgasm. No thank you.

Womanizer Vibe Review: Verdict

This is an excellent vibrator.

The Womanizer Vibe is likely to particularly suit those with sensitive clits, anyone who prefers very rumbly vibrations, and those who enjoy a more all-over, less pinpoint type of clitoral stimulation.

The Womanizer Vibe retails for £119.99 at Lovehoney UK and $129 at Lovehoney US.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Womanizer Vibe to review! All views are my own. Affiliate links appear in this post and you can get 10% off any Lovehoney order with my code AFF-COFFKINK10.

Tracy's Dog review header image for Surreal lipstick vibrator

[Toy Review] Tracy’s Dog Surreal App-Controlled Lipstick Vibrator

Published on October 12, 2024March 19, 2026 by Amy

Even those who are nowhere near as deep in the world of sex toys as I am might have heard of Tracy’s Dog [1]. One Amazon user went slightly viral back in 2019 for her hilarious Tracy’s Dog review. Of her experience using the OG Sucking Vibrator, the anonymous woman wrote: “My legs went straight out like those goats who faint when scared.”

Honestly, I should probably hang up my keyboard right now. I am literally a professional sex toy reviewer and yet nothing I ever write will be as succinctly, brilliantly descriptive and hilarious as that line.

As it is, however, I’m not going anywhere and I am back with my latest Tracy’s Dog review. This time I’m looking at the Surreal bullet vibrator. Did it match up to the lofty heights of the company’s previous viral sensation?

[1] Apparently this objectively incredibly strange name came about because the company wanted their toys to become “faithful and loyal companions”. Like… well, like a dog. No, I don’t get it, either.

Tracy’s Dog Surreal: What Is It?

The Tracy’s Dog Surreal, which I received to review this week, is a lipstick-shaped bullet vibrator with app-controlled functionalities and a single control button on the toy itself. It measures just over 3.5″ in total length, weights a petite 197g, and has a broad base that enables it to stand up.

This toy is made of body-safe silicone in bright red. It is USB rechargeable and waterproof, and offers 10 different vibration settings (3 constant speeds and 4 patterns.)

The Surreal works with an app, the bafflingly-named “Monster Party” which as far as I can tell appears to be a generic “interactive platform with adults” that connects up with various different sex toys.

What I Liked About the Surreal

Let’s start the review by talking about what I liked about the Tracy’s Dog Surreal—which, despite some issues I had with it that we’ll cover in the next section, is actually quite a lot!

The silicone is soft and the basic construction of the toy appears to be solid.
The lipstick design is cute and the bright red colour is vibrant and attractive.
It arrived attractively packaged in a sturdy box with a magnetic fastener and no single-use plastic.
I really like the shape. The broad shaft, flat end, and pinpoint tip of the lipstick design allow for different types of stimulator.
The broad base makes it comfortable to hold and use. Its petite size and light weight will make it easy and manageable for most users.
The button is large, well-placed, and easy to press.
It comes with a plastic case that slides over the toy like the top part of a lipstick tube. This is great for travel and for keeping the toy hygienic in storage, preventing it from picking up dust and lint if it’s sitting in a drawer for a while. Honestly, if you prefer a more rigid surface to your toys and don’t mind the extra little bit of dampening to the vibrations, you can even use it with the plastic cover on.

Surreal lipstick vibrator for Tracy's Dog review

In theory (more on that in a minute) it has app-control functionalities. This means you can hand over control to a partner from anywhere in the world.
Being waterproof makes it bath/shower friendly as well as super easy to clean. Being waterproof seems to be becoming more and more of a standard in the sex toy industry. However, you don’t always see it on toys at this price-point so it’s a nice extra.
The Tracy’s Dog Surreal retails for a budget-friendly £37.27 at the time of writing, which is incredibly affordable compared to many of the app-controlled toys I’ve reviewed.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Unfortunately, there were also a few problems I had with this toy.

Perhaps most worryingly, when I was testing the Tracy’s Dog Surreal for this review I could not get my toy to connect with the app at all. (Given that the app has less than two stars in the app store reviews, I can’t say I’m entirely surprised!) I followed the instructions, but nothing happened. I switched it off and back on again, and still nothing happened.

In practice, I actually use sex toy apps very rarely. I’m glad they exist, but I mostly just use them to review products then forget I have them. But if you’re specifically looking for an app-controlled toy—and considering this is one of the major selling points of this product—it’s pretty bad.

My other significant complaint about the Tracy’s Dog Surreal is that its vibrations are just… okay. They’re neither particularly strong nor particularly rumbly. I knew the moment that I switched it on and turned it up to the highest speed that it had little to no chance of giving me an orgasm.

Finally, it has one of those one-button interfaces that always annoy me so much.

Tracy’s Dog Surreal Review: Verdict

This toy is about what I would expect for the price. It’s broadly fine, but it’s nothing to write home about. Honestly, even at this price point, there are better toys available. If you want the app functionality on a budget, and don’t need particularly strong vibrations, you might get on fine with it (if you can get the app to work! It’s possible, of course, that I was just unlucky with this but given the app’s rating I can’t believe I am the only one having this problem.)

Woman's hand holding Tracy's Dog lipstick vibrator

Despite the negatives I’ve pointed out, the Tracy’s Dog Surreal is a body-safe and easy to use offering. It might suit those who are newer to exploring toys. It could also be good for those looking for something cute and non-threatening in appearance or who prefer low-strength to mid-strength vibrations. It’ll be a great toy for some people, I just don’t think I’m one of them. As such, I will likely pass this one along so someone else can enjoy it.

Thanks to the company for sponsoring this Tracy’s Dog review. This means I was paid to write an honest account of my experience with the product. In addition, if you make a purchase through my links I will earn a small commission. All views are, as always, mine!