sponsored review Archives

Curved hook hanging on a black chain to represent the curved dildo in this post. Text reads "Mr Hankey's Toys Captain's Hook"

[Toy Review] Mr Hankey’s Toys Captain’s Hook Curved Dildo

Published on April 25, 2025April 2, 2026 by Amy

I’m really pleased to be back with another Mr Hankey’s Toys review following my mini-series last year. The Mr Hankey’s team recently got back in touch recently and asked me to pick another three toys to review. As soon as I saw it, I couldn’t resist the gloriously curved dildo that is the Captain’s Hook.

Extreme Curved Dildo: Mr Hankey’s Toys Captain’s Hook

Mr Hankey's Toys Captain's Hook, a bright pink curved girthy dildo

The Captain’s Hook by Mr Hankey’s Toys is a realistic silicone dildo with an extreme curve. It is available in four sizes, with the total length ranging from 8.25″ to 12″ in overall length. Its central shaft diameter ranges from 2.06″ to 3.23″. It is also available in four firmness levels ranging from very soft to extra firm.

Having had previous experience with Mr Hankey’s products and their impressive sizes, I chose the smallest size for my Captain’s Hook dildo. This means my toy measures 8.25″ in length, 7″ in insertable length, and 2.06″ in diameter at the centre of the shaft. Whichever way you look at it, the Captain’s Hook is a large dildo even in the smallest size.

I requested my Captain’s Hook in the second softest of the four options. As with all Mr Hankey’s products, you can customize your product with your choice of colour. The Captain’s Hook dildo is advertised in a metallic gunmetal grey, but I like my electric UV pink choice better! (Femmes gonna femme, amirite?)

This toy has a large, thick base which allows it to stand up on its own as well as making it theoretically harness-compatible (though, as we’ll see below, this might not work so well in practice.)

What I Liked About the Captain’s Hook

I knew I was going to love this toy as soon as I saw it on the Mr Hankey’s site, and I was right. Curved dildos are amazing for targeting the G-spot, and this is the most extremely curved silicone dildo I’ve ever owned. I’ve also found that they allow me to experiment with larger toys while minimising the risk of hitting my cervix, which is something I find intensely painful.

This dildo’s curve is so intense that I can get plenty of enjoyment from using just the first two or three inches, if I’m not in the mood for full insertion (which the body often isn’t even if the mind is willing.)

Interestingly, th Captain’s Hook is actually listed on the Mr Hankey’s site as a “prostate massager.” I have neither a prostate nor a sufficiently brave butt to attempt anal insertion of this toy, myself, but I’m sure it would feel amazing for folks who are into larger anal toys and target the prostate in the same way as it does the G-spot.

The softness level of this toy is also pretty ideal for me. The 75% soft silicone is a middling density, with a little bit of squish. This enables the toy to be slightly flexible, which is ideal for more comfortable positioning with larger toys. Choose a firmer option if you want something more intense. Or, if you want this toy to be a little gentler, select the softest silicone.

A woman's hand holding an extra large curvy pink dildo

Aside from the level of curve, the Captain’s Hook dildo is realistic in design. It has a pronounced corona (that’s the “rounded border that projects from the base of the glans penis”) and texturing along the shaft to mimic skin and veins. This makes it an ideal toy for those who enjoy a realistic or semi-realistic aesthetic, but prefer the sensation of a curve.

Any Downsides To Be Aware Of?

Due to its size, the Captain’s Hook is a heavy dildo even in its smallest size. This means that, although it is technically harness-compatible, I can’t imagine using it for strap-on sex realistically. The large base enables it to stand upright, but also adds additional weight and bulk.

Mr Hankey’s notes on the product page that for the larger sizes in particular, this toy can be more practical for partnered play due to its size and shape. Due to the shape and lack of a suction cup, it’s unlikely to be suitable for hands-free use.

The surface texture of the silicone is also very matte. I’ve pointed this out before and I think it might just be a feature of the silicone or finishes that Mr Hankey’s uses. This can add to the challenging nature of inserting a toy this large. You should always use tonnes of lube when using an extra large dildo anyway. The grabby feel of this silicone just makes this even more essential.

Captain’s Hook Curved Dildo: Verdict

I love this dildo. My initial impressions were entirely correct here; this design is fucking fabulous. I’ve never tried a silicone dildo this curved before. The closest things I have in my collection are stainless steel or glass, which is of course a completely different sensation.

The Captain’s Hook is a dildo designed with serious targeted internal stimulation in mind, whether you use it vaginally or anally. Its intense curve and girthy shaft up the intensity.

The Captain’s Hook curved dildo retails starting from $125.95 for the smallest size in one of the middle two firmness levels and your choice of colour. Sizing up, choosing extra firm or extra soft, and adding a metallic effect or vac-u-lock hole will all increase the total price.

Thanks to Mr Hankey’s Toys for sponsoring this review. All views and writing are, as always, mine.

[Toy Review] Nothosaur Meo’s Ridge Extra-Long Dildo

Published on April 14, 2025April 2, 2026 by Amy

We seem to be in something of a golden age of fantasy sex toys right now. More and more designers and manufacturers are popping up, and existing retailers are also realising the potential of these types of toys and beginning to stock them. From dragon dildos to Zodiac sex toys to tentacles and much more, if you can think of it then someone has probably made a version of it you can fuck. And for whatever reason, fantasy toys and oversized toys—from ultra-girthy to extra-long dildos—very often seem to go together. This week, Nothosaur is back as a site sponsor once again and has asked me to review their Meo’s Ridge extra-long dragon dildo.

Meo’s Ridge: An Extra-Long Dragon Dildo

The Meo’s Ridge by Nothosaur is a sex toy inspired by a dragon-like creature. Its suction cup base, adorned with spikes, gives way to a long and rippling shaft with rich and beautiful scale-like texturing. It really does make you think of the spines and scales on a mythical creature.

Meo's Ridge extra-long dildo from Nothosaur dragon range

The Meo’s Ridge dragon dildo is available in four sizes from XS to L, and three firmness levels: soft, medium, or hard. You can also add a vac-u-lock base, if you want. Lengths range from 9.4″ up to 17.5″ in total length, and 8.4″ up to 16.3″ in insertable length. Here’s Nothosaur’s useful size chart so you can compare the sizes and figure out which is best for you:

Size chart for Nothosaur Meo's Ridge extra-long dildo

I requested the Small size (the second smallest overall, measuring 12.2″ in overall length and 10.8″ in insertable length) in medium firmness.

All Nothosaur products are made from body-safe silicone.

As with most Nothosaur toys, you can also customize your Meo’s Ridge dragon dildo with your choice of colours. There are set suggested colourways available, or you can pick from a single solid colour, a two-colour fade, a covered colour (different colours for the inside and outside), or a marble effect with two or three colours.

I chose the pastel pink A-07 and pastel turquoise C-06 shades. The way they’ve blended together in the final fade, with a lilac colour in the middle, reminds me of a pastel version of the bisexual pride flag! This wasn’t intentional on my part, but I’m into it.

By the way: if you want the full set, you can also get the Meo’s Scales grinder (which I have and absolutely love) and the Meo’s Claw!

The Meo’s Ridge Extra-Long Dragon Dildo: Impressions & In Use

The first thing that struck me about the Meo’s Ridge dragon dildo when it arrived (apart from its size – more on that in a minute) is how pretty it is. The scales and ridges are a work of art. The level of detailing that has gone into it is truly impressive. I love the colourway I chose – I think it’s giving “queer pastel femme but make it a little bit edgy.”

The silicone looks and feels to be high quality. It is very matte, so it can feel quite “grabby” against the skin and this is amplified by the texturing. Just make sure to add plenty of lube to this toy. I recommend the boil-sterilising method of cleaning. All those little ridges and crevices can harbour germs and bacteria if you don’t clean the toy thoroughly.

The tapered design of the Meo’s Ridge dragon dildo is excellent. If you’re new to experimenting with extra-long dildos, trying out “depth training”, or just prefer a slower warm-up, a tapered toy is a great way to enjoy gradual insertion without things feeling too intense too quickly.

Meo's Ridge dragon sex toy dildo tip close up

I also like that the Meo’s Ridge dragon dildo isn’t too girthy. The diameter at the widest insertable point ranges from 1.5″ (XS) up to 2.7″ (L), though this point is right near the base of the toy so many users may never insert it that far. The first bulge, towards the top of the shaft, ranges from 1.1″ up to 2.2″ in diameter. Not everyone enjoys both length and girth; some people prefer longer but slimmer toys, and this is an ideal design for those people.

By the way: the length, softness, and texturing of this toy also make it amazing for grinding on, if that’s something you’re into. There’s never just one way to use a toy and there’s certainly no right or wrong way. This was one additional use I found for the Meo’s Ridge dildo.

Let’s Talk About This Toy’s Size and Softness

The size of the Meo’s Ridge dragon dildo is quite something. Despite being only the second of four sizes, the Meo’s Ridge in Small is literally the length of my forearm! I can’t imagine any universe in which I could insert it all or would even want to try. But that’s fine; bodies are different and preferences are different.

You don’t need to insert the entire length of an extra-long dildo like this to enjoy it. If you only ever use the first two or three inches, or even less than that, as long as you’re having fun nothing else matters. Sex toys aren’t supposed to be a challenge unless the challenge turns you on!

Nothosaur Meo's Ridge dragon sex toy, an extra-long bent in half

I was a little surprised by just how floppy and flexible the Meo’s Ridge dildo is. When I stand it up on the suction cup, it completely flops over. The advantage of this is that the softness and flexibility makes it super comfortable to insert. You can bend it virtually any way you like and the silicone has tonnes of give to it. You can also flex the toy once it’s inside you to target your G-spot or any other internal spot you’re looking to stimulate.

The downside is that it can make initial insertion a little tricky. I found that if I don’t get the angle exactly right, the tip of the toy bends away from my body when I apply pressure to insert it.

It has a suction cup, which theoretically makes it hands-free and harness-compatible. In reality, though, the Meo’s Ridge isn’t likely to be a suitable toy for either of those activities due to its length and floppiness. It is anal-safe if that’s your thing. However, even the medium firmness is soft enough that I imagine anal penetration would be tricky for most users.

Meo’s Ridge Dragon Dildo Review: Verdict

If you’re looking for a soft extra-long dildo that isn’t also extremely girthy, the Meo’s Ridge is a great choice. Its dragon dildo aesthetic is unique and detailed, and sure to appeal to fantasy toy lovers. I love the textured surface, the tapered design, and the slimline shaft in particular.

One quick pro tip: if you get this toy, I’d really recommend choosing the “hard” firmness level unless you’re intentionally looking for something very soft and floppy.

The Meo’s Ridge retails from $59.99 for the smallest size in a standard colourway. Larger sizes, custom colours, and additional customisations all impact the final price you’ll pay.

Thanks to Nothosaur sex toys for sending me this dragon dildo and sponsoring this review! All views are, as always, mine.

Header image for Tracy's Dog Ciro dual stimulation vibrator review

[Toy Review] Tracy’s Dog Ciro Dual Stimulation Vibrator

Published on February 20, 2025March 20, 2026 by Amy

Tracy’s Dog are becoming a regular feature on this site as they’re currently putting out new products at an impressive rate, such as the recently launched Ciro—a dual stimulation clitoral vibrator with thrusting, licking, and vibrating motions—which I received to review this month.

Let’s take a look and find out how I got on with this latest offering.

Oh, and don’t forget to use my exclusive Tracy’s Dog discount code coffee15 to get 15% off your purchase of the Ciro or any other Tracy’s Dog product.

What is the Tracy’s Dog Ciro Clitoral Licking Vibrator?

The Ciro by Tracy’s Dog is a vaguely C-shaped dual stimulation clitoral and G-spot toy. The insertable portion both thrusts and vibrates, while the clitoral stimulator is a firm ball that rotates and vibrates. This toy’s insertable length is around 6″, and its diameter is around 1.4″ at the widest point.

Tracy's Dog Ciro dual stimulation vibrator

The Ciro clitoral licking vibrator is made of silicone in the signature purple shade that Tracy’s Dog use for many of their toys, and has a gold coloured plastic accent panel for the two buttons.

In the sturdy, magnetic-close box, you’ll also find the charging cable, a drawstring storage bag, two sachets of Tracy’s Dog lube (which I won’t be using because it contains glycerin and disodium EDTA, but YMMV), the instruction manual, a warranty card, and some stickers.

The Ciro is IPX6 waterproof, making it suitable for use in the shower. However, it’s not submersible, so don’t take it in the bath or dunk it in a sink of water to clean it! It is also rechargeable via the included magnetic cable. I’ll talk more about the charging and battery life a bit later on.

What I Liked About the Ciro

I was immediately intrigued by this unusual design and combination of features. Yet another boring iteration of a generic rabbit vibrator this is not! It’s nice to see something a bit different from Tracy’s Dog in the form of the Ciro’s round, rotating clitoral stimulator.

But how did it actually perform?

Let’s look at the things I liked about the Ciro.

Many dual stimulation vibrator designs treat clitoral stimulation as an afterthought (I’ve ranted about this before.) This one does not. The Tracy’s Dog Ciro’s rotating clitoral stimulator is just… really, really good, to be honest. It’s completely different to the traditional “bunny ears” design and I love it. It does not feel like “licking”, but it feels like having my clit massaged in circles with just the right amount of pressure. Yes. (Pro tip: lube makes this feel about 10,000 times better.)
The wavy ridges on the sides of the shaft will appeal to fans of texture. I like that I can feel them in use, but they’re not too intense.
The flexible hinge between the insertable shaft and the clitoral stimulator make it easy to position the toy in a way that works for your body. It also means it’s relatively easy to keep the clitoral stimulator in the right place during use (a major drawback of many rabbit toys is that it’s almost impossible to position both portions of the toy in the right way at the same time.)
The rigid shaft provides firm internal pressure, while the slight squishiness of the head is comfortable against my G-spot.

I like the relatively short thrust. Toys with long thrusts are often painful for me, risking poking me in the cervix (ouch. Ow. No.) Its motion feels more like a “come hither” than hard pounding, which is vastly preferable in my book.
Even the lowest thrusting speed is pretty intense! This isn’t one for those who prefer very slow strokes, but ideal for anyone looking for fast thrusting.
The three thrusting speeds and 7 patterns, plus 3 clitoral stimulation speeds, offer plenty of variety.
The Tracy’s Dog Ciro has separate controls for the internal and clitoral stimulators, with a simple one-button control for each function.
It retails for a relatively affordable £48.36

Overall, this toy is pretty intense. Even on the lower thrusting speed, with both parts switched on it comes close to feeling overstimulating for me. Which can be fun on occasion! I don’t think I’ll reach for it regularly, but there’s definitely a time and a place for this kind of toy.

What I Didn’t Like

Though it has many good features, there are also a few things about the Tracy’s Dog Ciro clitoral licking vibrator that I found frustrating.

Tracy's Dog Ciro clitoral stimulator close up

The vibrations are super buzzy. Like… so buzzy. They’re the kind of buzzy that is likely to numb out my clit long before ever getting me off.
Related: I wish it was possible to switch the vibrations off. I think I’d really love this toy if I could use the thrusting and rotating functions without the addition of annoying, buzzy vibes.
The battery life isn’t great. A full charge takes 150 minutes (2.5 hours) and only gives you 50-60 minutes of runtime.
There are, as usual, no dual directional controls. This isn’t so much of an issue for me, as I tend to just choose the settings I like and stick with them. But it’s something to be aware of if you prefer to swap and change between different speeds and settings.
Like virtually every thrusting sex toy I have ever tried, it makes an annoying kind of high-pitched squeaking noise. It’s not particularly loud, but this sound is really grating to me (probably one reason I don’t actually use thrusting toys very often!) It’s also not “whisper quiet”. Companies, stop with this cliché. It’s literally never true.

Tracy’s Dog Ciro Clitoral Licking Vibrator: Verdict

Overall, I like this toy! It’s an innovative design not quite like anything I’ve seen before, and the rotating clitoral stimulator is truly excellent. I also particularly appreciated the shallow thrust depth and separate controls for each of the two parts. Though it does have some flaws, I’ll likely use this one again.

Get the Ciro directly from Tracy’s Dog or from the company’s Amazon store. Remember to use my discount code coffee15 for 15% off anything at Tracy’s Dog!

Thanks to Tracy’s Dog for sponsoring this review of the Ciro clitoral licking vibrator. All views and experiences are, as always, my own.

Nothosaur MOOM custom dildo review header image

[Toy Review] Nothosaur “MOOM” Custom Dildo

Published on January 15, 2025April 2, 2026 by Amy

You know what’s even more fun than shopping for sex toys? Creating one to your specifications! I recently told you all about Nothosaur’s custom dildo and custom fantasy toy service, which allows you to apply a dizzying variety of customisations to the company’s designs to create a piece that is entirely yours. As part of our ongoing partnership, Nothosaur kindly let me customise a toy from their range to test and review. After a lot of deliberation, I chose the MOOM dildo. Keep reading to learn what I like about this one and which customisations I chose.

What is the MOOM and Why Did I Choose It for My Custom Dildo?

The base product you choose will determine the shape and design of your toy. When Nothosaur offered me a custom dildo to review, I spent a long time looking around the site to decide which of the many options on offer felt right for me. Ultimately, I picked the MOOM. The basic product looks like this:

Nothosaur MOOM base product for custom dildo design — Image: Nothosaur. Colourway: “Streaming VioletBlue”

I chose the MOOM for my custom dildo largely because its shape really called to me. Its shaft consists of a series of long and elegantly intertwining vines, rising up to a pronounced head, and the broad base has those aforementioned little spikes. The MOOM’s shaft is relatively slimline, which tends to work well for my body—I do like girthy insertables sometimes, but they take a lot of warm-up. This is very much an “insert and go” toy, which can be an advantage sometimes.

The MOOM is based on one of Nothosaur’s many fantasy creature creations, a creature that makes its home in the jungle, collects pine cones and fruits, enjoys poems and stories, but also possesses a series of sharp thorns that help to keep it safe. I enjoy the combination of softness and fierceness in this characterisation, and in the combination of long, sweeping lines and the spiked base that make up the toy’s design.

I also just thought it was super pretty, fun, and unexpected, and I don’t own anything else like it.

My Customisation Choices

I went for the medium size MOOM dildo. I’m not a size queen by any stretch (heh) of the imagination, so at 5.9″ in total length and about 4″ in insertable length—the MOOM in medium is a fairly perfect size dildo for me. If you prefer a very small toy, choose the mini or small sizes. If you want more, opt for the large or extra large.

Next up was choosing the firmness. I ultimately went for the soft silicone because I don’t have many super-soft toys in my collection, so I thought it would be fun to get something a bit different. I also tend to like flexible toys, and I assumed the soft silicone would have more flex to it.

Finally, it was time to pick the colours for my custom dildo. I looked at the suggested colourways for the MOOM and, though they were all super pretty and creative, none of them felt like quite what I was looking for. Ultimately, inspiration struck and I settled on a marbled combination of bright orange, bright pink, and white that reminds me of the lesbian pride flag.

Nothosaur custom sex toys colour selection example — Nothosaur’s extensive colour selection

The MOOM in medium comes with a suction cup base by default, which works for me. This allows me to use it with a strap-on harness as well as making it convenient to hold. If you opt for the MOOM in a large or extra large size, you can add a vac-u-lock hole and adaptor for a fucking machine if you like.

Review: What I Love About My Custom Nothosaur Toys MOOM

And with all those decisions made, it was time to sit back and wait for my custom dildo to arrive. Which, in a couple of weeks, it did. The finished toy is so, so bright and femme and colourful! I mean, just look at it:

The website pictures really don’t do justice to just how bright and vibrant these colours are. The design is also even more beautiful and intricate close up than the images show. I feel like I notice some new detail every time I look at it.

The MOOM dildo has the perfect level of texturing for me. The “vines” along the shaft are pronounced enough to feel and to be satisfying, but not so much that it tips over into uncomfortable.

I’m also really glad I opted for the soft silicone for this one. I think it’s possible that the intensely ridged head and the textured shaft would have been too intense in a firmer silicone. But at this level, it’s absolutely perfect. The ultra-flexible softness also means that I can angle the head perfectly to brush against my G-spot.

The MOOM’s suction cup is strong, and its broad base makes it ideal for strap-on sex.

Finally, can we talk about those spikes on the base? They, too, are super soft and when the dildo is fully inserted, they tease and tickle my vulva every time I thrust or twist the toy. Amazing.

Get Your Own Custom Dildo

It’s safe to say Nothosaur knocked it out of the park with my MOOM custom dildo. The result is something beautiful, unique, and totally “me.” I love it.

Want your own? Head over to Nothosaur’s store, find the design you like, and get customising! A medium MOOM in 3 colours retails for $94.99, but prices vary according to the style and customisations you choose.

Thanks to Nothosaur Toys for gifting me this custom MOOM dildo and sponsoring this review! All views are, as always, my own.

Header image for AcmeJoy Ramsdell mouth vibrator review

[Toy Review] AcmeJoy Ramsdell Mouth Vibrator

Published on January 3, 2025March 21, 2026 by Amy

I think I’ve said before that, the longer I do this work, the harder it gets to find anything I haven’t tried before. Sure, I can still get excited about a really good bullet vibrator or a suction toy that doesn’t suck, but it’s rare to come across a sex toy that makes me go “huh… I’ve never seen one of those before.” AcmeJoy’s Ramsdell mouth vibrator, which they recently sent me to test and review, elicited exactly that reaction.

I mean. Look at it! Of course I had to request this one when AcmeJoy invited me to review one of their products.

What is the AcmeJoy Ramsdell Mouth Vibrator?

The AcmeJoy Ramsdell – or to give it its full title, the Ramsdell 10 Biting Modes & 10 Vibrating Speeds Stimulate Nipple Clitoral Women Vibrator (no I’m not kidding) – is a handheld sex toy designed to look like a pair of lips with a tongue poking out.

The Ramsdell measures 4.65″ in total length, and the mouth is 2.1″ wide at the widest point. It is made of body-safe red silicone with a rose gold plastic accent panel for the buttons. (Confusingly, the product page claims it is silicone and then later says it is TPE! I think this is a mistake as – based on the look, feel, smell, and flame test results – it definitely appears to be silicone.)

The Ramsdell is IPX6 water-resistant, AKA splashproof. This makes for easy cleaning but does mean the toy can’t be fully submerged in water (you’d need IPX7 waterproof for that.) It is also rechargeable, with a two hour charge giving around an hour of runtime.

When it’s switched on, the Ramsdell makes what I can only describe as a biting motion, with the mouth moving up and down. I turned it on and immediately stuck my finger in there, and this thing has quite a bite to it! Fortunately, as you’ll see below, it doesn’t really “bite” your genitals when it’s actually in use. The tongue can also vibrate, if you like. I think the overall effect is supposed to simulate oral sex, which – as anyone who has read my numerous rants on the subject knows – isn’t really possible with the current toy technology we have available to us.

According to the site, it can stimulate my “A & G & U” all at the same time. I’m assuming that stands for anus, G-spot, and urethra, which is wildly untrue (there’s no way this thing is getting anywhere near the G-spot and it’s certainly not stimulating three different areas at the same time.) Companies, take note: it’s fine for a sex toy to just do one thing, if it does it well. You don’t have to claim otherwise, especially when it’s so demonstrably not true.

AcmeJoy Ramsdell Mouth Vibrator Review: What I Liked

When it comes to the aesthetic of this toy, I don’t really have strong feelings either way. I can imagine if you’re someone who is extremely into mouths or lips, a mouth vibrator could be kind of hot. I can also imagine it might squick you out if you find a disembodied mouth offputting! (I’ll say this for it, though, it’s a hell of a lot sexier than the awful disembodied tongue thing I once tried.)

From my perspective? It’s fine. It doesn’t turn me on to look at it, and it kinda makes me giggle, but it doesn’t actively make me go “ew, no” either.

With that said, let’s start the review with the things I liked about the AcmeJoy Ramsdell mouth vibrator.

Does it feel like cunnilingus? No it does not. But does it feel good? Amazingly, yes, it really does! With plenty of lube on both the toy and my body, the mouth’s up-and-down motion is shockingly pleasurable. Despite the description and my first impression, it does not (thankfully) feel like someone biting my clit! It’s more like someone rubbing it in a very consistent pattern.
I particularly like that this toy can stimulate the entire clitoral area, not just the tip of the glans.
It also feels pretty good on nipples, if you’re into that.
You can control the mouth movements and the tongue vibrations separately. Want one without the other, or to use different settings? No problem. There are 10 “biting” modes and 10 vibration modes to choose from and use in any combination.
The buttons are well-positioned and easy to press, and the controls simple to understand and use.
At $31.97 USD (about £26), it’s budget-friendly.

I was surprised at how good this toy felt and how close it got me to orgasm. It didn’t make me come on this occasion, but I think it’s entirely possible it could get me off in the future, if I was sufficiently turned on to start with.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

AcmeJoy Ramsdell mouth vibrator with Sliquid lube

Though my overall review of the AcmeJoy Ramsdell mouth vibrator is more positive than I expected, there are also a few things I didn’t like.

The noise. It’s not that it is particularly loud, just that the up-and-down mechanism kind of squeaks in a way that hurts my neurodivergent and sound-sensitive soul.
The vibrations are tremendously buzzy and not particularly strong. They’re kinda okay as an accompaniment to the mouth movements, but they start making my clit feel numb pretty fast if I use them for too long.
If I press it too hard against my body, the up-and-down motion stops working. This is something to be aware of if you’re someone who likes lots of pressure when you use toys.
I would have preferred the silicone on the lips to be slightly softer and squishier. It’s not bad as it is, but this would enhance comfort and pleasure during use.

AcmeJoy Ramsdell Review: Verdict

Significantly better than I expected!

I am somewhat surprised to say that as a concept for a toy, this works. I would like to see some changes made to improve it – notably, softening up the “lips” and making the motor in the tongue more powerful and rumbly. I’d happily pay more for a better version of this basic design. Overall, though? Not bad at all. It’s something new and different, and a creative twist on the enduringly popular “tongue toy” theme.

Get it from AcmeJoy.

Thanks to AcmeJoy for sponsoring this post and sending me this product to review! All views and experiences, as always, are mine.

Tracy's Dog Swirlii rotating vibrator review header image

[Toy Review] Tracy’s Dog Swirlii Rotating Vibrator

Published on December 17, 2024March 20, 2026 by Amy

It’s time for a review of another Tracy’s Dog toy: the Swirlii rotating vibrator.

Tracy’s Dog Swirlii

The Tracy’s Dog Swirlii is a wearable rotating vibrator designed to be worn inside your underwear for hands-free pleasure. It features a main insertable shaft which sits inside the vagina and rotates in a circle, a flexible small appendage that vibrates, and an external part with a raised bump that stimulates the clit. This external arm also helps to anchor the toy in place. At first, I wasn’t sure what the little flexible appendage was for or where to put it. Eventually I realised that it is meant to go inside along with the main inserable arm.

The Swirlii comes with a remote control as well as a drawstring storage bag. It is USB rechargeable with the included magnetic charging cable, and IPX7 waterproof (i.e. completely submersible.)

The Tracy’s Dog Swirlii measures around 4.5″ in length and 5″ in height. Its insertable portion measures 3.5″ in length and around 1.4″ in diameter at the widest point. It is made of body-safe lilac silicone.

What I Liked About the Tracy’s Dog Swirlii

The Tracy’s Dog Swirlii rotating vibrator is such an unusual design, and I was curious to try it out. First let’s look at all the things about it that I liked.

It came attractively packaged in a smart and sturdy box, and the inclusion of a storage bag is a nice touch.
The colour is really pretty! I love lilac and it’s a more unusual colour for a sex toy than a brighter or darker purple.
The silicone is soft and smooth.
The flexibility of the external arm means that you can position it in a few different ways depending on what works for your body.
At first glance, I was really confused about the shape of the Tracy’s Dog Swirlii’s insertable shaft. I couldn’t work out why it’s almost scoop-shaped rather than just rounded. Eventually I realised it’s so that it kind of hugs the vibrating appendage (sorry, I can’t think of a better term for it!) against the front wall of the vagina – i.e. where the G-spot is for most bodies – when it’s in use. This initially baffling design is actually pretty clever!

I love the rotating motion! As someone who doesn’t really enjoy internal vibrations, this is such a fabulous change.
The user interface is simple, with a single button on the toy itself and then two buttons on the remote control. Learning how to use it is a breeze.
Sound-wise, it’s fairly quiet. I’m not sure it’s quiet enough to wear in public (unless you’re in a very noisy space like a nightclub) but the inevitable whirring noise you get with rotating toys isn’t anywhere near as bad as many I’ve tried.
On the higher levels, the vibrations are pretty powerful.
The remote’s responsiveness is good and works up to 10m away.
Using the remote control, you can choose to use the Tracy’s Dog Swirlii’s vibrations and the rotation together or separately. You can also scroll through the settings – 10 vibration modes and 3 rotation modes – of each motor completely independently of the other.
When worn with underwear, it stays in place pretty well, allowing for hands-free use.
At £48.15, its price point is pretty reasonable.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

There were also a few things about the Tracy’s Dog Swirlii that didn’t work so well for me.

Inserting two different pieces inside me can be tricky and uncomfortable unless I get the angle exactly right. It also makes the actual insertable diameter wider than will be comfortable for some users. A lot of lubrication is essential with this one. A couple of sachets of lube were included, but I won’t use them because they contain ingredients such as glycerin, propylene glycol, and disodium EDTA.
The vibrations are very buzzy. The result is that they make my clit feel numb and tingly long before I get close to coming.
I would have preferred dual-directional controls, preferably on the toy itself but at least on the remote control.

This might be petty, and admittedly isn’t a gripe with the toy itself, but this bit of Tracy’s Dog’s marketing copy also really bugs me: “Put on your sexiest lingerie, grab Swirlii and put it right into your panties. Call up your partner and hand him a remote.” Why are we assuming my partner is a “him”? I literally work in this industry and I still find this kind of assumed heteronormativity so so offputting and alienating.

Verdict

There were a lot of things about the Tracy’s Dog Swirlii that I liked. Overall, though, I unfortunately have to conclude it’s not one for me due to the diameter of the insertable portions and the buzziness of the vibrations. I still think it’s a well-designed product and will work very well for many people, especially those who are comfortable with wider insertables and who enjoy strong but buzzy vibrations.

I’m glad it exists, but I think I’ll likely be passing it along for someone else to enjoy.

The Swirlii retails for £48.15 at full price. Get it direct from Tracy’s Dog and don’t forget: “coffee10” at checkout for 10% off.

Thanks to Tracy’s Dog for sponsoring this review and sending me the Swirlii rotating vibrator to test. All views are, as always, my own.

Juliet Toys Vortex long butt plug/large anal beads review header

[Toy Review] Juliet Toys Vortex Large Anal Beads

Published on November 25, 2024March 20, 2026 by Amy

Regular readers of my work may have noticed a new site sponsor in the right hand sidebar. Juliet Toys is a large retailer selling hundreds of products across dozens of categories, from classic vibrators and dildos to fantasy toys, BDSM gear, anal toys, and much more. I’m thrilled to have them on board as a C&K sponsor. They also invited me to review for them, and I received their Vortex Extra Large Anal Beads to try out.

What is the Juliet Toys Vortex?

The Vortex by Juliet Toys is a kind of combination between extra large anal beads and a long butt plug. It’s available in three sizes: small, medium, or large. I received the small, which measures 9.5″ in total length. Due to the nature of the toy, that’s basically all insertable length except for maybe a quarter inch of base. The three beads measure (in ascending order from smallest to largest) 1.4″, 1.6″, and 1.7″ in diameter.

Now, this is more than big enough for me. There is, frankly, no universe in which I would consider 9.5″ of insertable length to be “small.” My butt isn’t that brave, and super huge anal toys have never really been my thing. But they might be yours! If so, you might like the medium (which has a total length of 11.4″ and a widest bead diameter of 2.3″) or the large (total length of 13.2″, widest bead diameter of 2.7″.)

Yes, whichever way you look at it, this is a large toy.

The Vortex is made of 100% body-safe silicone. It begins in a narrow spiral shaft down from a tapered tip, then the lower portion is made up of the three “beads.” It ends in a flared base, which is an absolutely essential safety component for an anal toy. This base is also a suction cup.

This toy has no motor, so it’s easy to clean (the boiling method is what I recommend) and fine to use in the bath or shower, if you like.

What I Liked About the Vortex Extra Large Anal Beads

Once I got over my initial reaction to the Vortex extra large anal beads (“good lord this thing is enormous!”), I found that there are a lot of things I like about it. Namely:

It’s a really pretty colour! Specifically, an attractive burnt orange-gold shade. This is an unusual colour for sex toys and also kind of shimmers. I’m here for it. I really believe aesthetics matter for sex toys, so going that extra step to make something pretty will always impress me.
The silicone is fairly soft and really squishy.
I think, for people who enjoy challenging anal toys, this is an excellent design. It starts off relatively gently with the small head and the slim spiral tip, allowing you to get used to having something inside you before attempting the larger size of the beads.
Due to the slowly increasing size as you move further down the toy, it’s ideal for people who want to play with anal training or anal stretching. Going slowly is really key here, not just to ensure you have a good time but also to keep things safe.

It’s entirely possible to use just a part of the Vortex extra large anal beads, if you prefer. It lends itself well to exploring slowly, finding out what you like. Even if you end up deciding that super deep penetration or very girthy toys aren’t for you, the top portion of the toy is still entirely usable.
It’s very, very flexible. I can imagine this might be a downside for some users, but it will be a plus for many more including me. When it comes to larger toys, flexibility can help with insertion and comfort. It also allows for more flexibility in positioning. And, if you’re trying to target a particular spot (such as the prostate, if you have one), the flexibility can make that easier.
If you have a vagina, you can also use the Vortex as a vaginal toy. It’s great for G-spots for exactly the same reasons it’s great for prostates. And, if you prefer a slower warm-up or a slimmer toy for vaginal penetration, this is perfect for that. Remember: a toy that has been inside a butt should never go inside a vagina without first being sterilised. At an absolute minimum, put a condom over it.
The suction cup is seriously strong and stays in position well on any flat, firm surface.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

On a personal level, I think this toy is just too big for me to realistically use it as an anal toy with any kind of regularity. When I use butt toys at all, which really isn’t that often, I usually stick to smaller ones. But that’s purely a matter of my body’s preferences and I can’t find any significant criticisms of the Vortex as a product in general.

Juliet Toys Vortex Extra Large Anal Beads: Verdict

The Vortex is an excellent toy for its target audience: people who enjoy (or want to experiment with) long anal toys, extra large anal beads, or other kinds of large anal insertables. And, if you try it and find that’s not for you, there are also numerous other ways to enjoy it.

The Vortex is well-designed, well-made, body-safe, and versatile. What more could you want from a toy?

Please remember that if you’re doing any kind of anal play, adequate lubrication is essential. Always use more than you think you need, and reapply it regularly. For a silicone toy, I recommend a good water-based lube.

The Vortex extra large anal beads set retails for $39.90 for the small size, $49.90 for the medium size, and $59.90 for the large size. All in all I’d say it’s very good value for the size and quality of product.

Thanks to Juliet Toys for sponsoring this review and sponsoring the site! Affiliate links appear in this post and I will make an additional small commission if you use them. All views, as always, are mine.

Funzze 3-in-1 triple stimulator clitoral and vaginal stimulation toy review header

[Toy Reviews] Funzze 3-in-1 Sucking & Flapping Thrusting Triple Stimulator

Published on November 25, 2024April 2, 2026 by Amy

Toys that try to have multiple functions are a mixed bag, and today I’m trying another one! This time we’re looking at Funzze’s 3-in-1 triple stimulator, a vibrator/sucker/thruster toy for both penetrative and clitoral stimulation.

What is the Funzze 3-in-1 Triple Stimulator Vibrator?

The Funzze 3-in-1 Sucking & Flapping Thrusting Vibrator (hereafter the Funzze 3-in-1 for the sake of brevity) is a triple stimulator that offers three different ways to use it. Its head end features a clitoral suction stimulator on one side and, on the reverse side, this same motor allows the flat surface to make a “tapping” motion. At the other end, the toy’s handle is also an insertable dildo with a thrusting mechanism.

Funzze triple stimulator official product picture to show clitoral suction and tapping motions — Image: Funzze

The Funzze 3-in-1 Triple Stimulator is made of body-safe silicone and available in either purple or green. It is IPX-6 waterproof (suitable for use in the shower and for cleaning under the tap, but not fully submersible) and USB rechargeable. It measures around 7.5″ in total length, 3.5″ in insertable length.

Funzze triple stimulator 3-in-1 vibrator shown in purple and green — Image: Funzze

What I Liked About the Funzze 3-in-1

There’s a common problem with sex toys that try to do too many different things: they do none of them particularly well. Happily, this isn’t the case with the Funzze 3-in-1. Let’s talk about the things I liked about this triple stimulator.

The clitoral suction part performs well. It is moderately intense on the lowest setting and very intense on the higher ones. One thing to be aware of is that the nozzle is on the smaller side, so if you have a larger clit that might be something to be aware of. But if you enjoy serious focused clitoral stimulation, this toy will likely work well for you.
The tapping function is genuinely excellent. The stimulation it provides offers the depth and intensity of very rumbly vibrations. Even the lowest speed feels surprisingly intense, particularly for a toy at this price-point.
The construction of Funzze Triple Stimulator toy feels sturdy. I can press it firmly against my body and get plenty of pressure without feeling like I’m going to damage it.
I kind of like that the suction and tapping functions operate off the same motor. This means you can switch between the two in a second, just by turning it around.

Funzze triple stimulator 3-in-1 vibrator in purple with buttons illuminated in blue

The two motors—suction/tapping and thrusting—are controllable separately. They can also be used together, though I can’t think of any reason you’d want to that doesn’t defy the laws of physics!
The controls are simple and intuitive, and the buttons are easy to press.
The thrusting part has quite a short “length”—only maybe an inch or two of thrust. This won’t work for everyone, of course, but for those who (like me) enjoy penetration but often find deep thrusting more painful than pleasurable, it’s a great choice.
With 10 thrusting speeds and 10 sucking/tapping intensity levels, the Funzze Triple Stimulator is a truly customisable experience with numerous options for different users and different preferences.
It comes with a storage bag included.
The retail price of $42.99 (that’s around £34) is exceptional value for the quality.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

There’s one main thing I don’t like about the Funzze 3-in-1 triple stimulator: the noise. Whichever way you’re using it, this thing is loud. Both the loud buzz of the head end and the back-and-forth squeak of the thruster are really offputting and grating to me. Which is a shame in a product that I otherwise liked so much.

Funzze triple stimulator 3-in-1 vibrator

My other criticism is the lack of dual-directional controls. Whichever of the Funzze Triple Stimulator toy’s three functions I’m using, it would be nice to be able to scroll through the speeds in either direction.

Funzze 3-in-1 Triple Stimulator: Verdict

Overall, the Funzze 3-in-1 is a much better product than many of the “multiple things in one” options on the market. The clitoral suction stimulator does its job well, and the thrusting function is gentle enough that I can actually use it. It’s that glorious tapping function, though, that really elevates this one for me.

A surprising winner. Good job, Funzze!

The Funzze 3-in-1 triple stimulation toy retails for $42.99.

Thanks to Funzze for sponsoring this review of their triple stimulation toy! This means they paid me to test the toy and write an honest account of my experience. All views, as always, are mine.

[Toy Reviews] Tracy’s Dog Toys: Beta & Elatia

Published on November 8, 2024March 19, 2026 by Amy

Since going viral with their OG Sucking Vibrator thanks to a hilarious Amazon review back in 2019, the oddly-named but highly successful Tracy’s Dog have added an array of new products to their range. This month, I received two new Tracy’s Dog toys to try: the Beta (full name the Beta Rabbit 3-in-1 Sucking Swing Vibrator) and the Elatia (full name the Elatia Clitoral Tickling Vibrator.)

The company asked me to create a single post covering both of these products, so it’s time for a duo of mini reviews of two Tracy’s Dog rabbit toys: the Beta and Elatia.

Tracy’s Dog Beta: Details

Let’s start with the Beta.

The Tracy’s Dog Beta is a rabbit-style vibrator with a clitoral suction arm rather than the more traditional clitoral vibrator. The vibrating internal arm makes a come-hither back-and-forth motion designed to mimic the movement of a lover’s fingers against your G-spot.

This toy is made of body-safe silicone in dark purple, with a pink plastic accent panel on the back. It measures around 9.5″ in total length, 5″ in insertable length, and 1.4″ in diameter at the widest point.

The Beta is USB rechargeable and you’ll get around an hour of battery life out of a full charge. It is IPX5 waterproof, which means it can withstand jets of water but not submersion. In other words, you can clean it under the tap but don’t use it in the bath.

The Tracy’s Dog Beta retails for £59.28 at time of writing. Let’s look at what I liked and disliked about it.

What I Liked About the Tracy’s Dog Beta

The flexibility of both shafts is excellent, meaning that it will work for a wider range of bodies.
I love the come-hither motion, which feels fantastic.
The internal arm and the clitoral stimulator can be controlled separately, and even used independently of one another.
When I can get it positioned properly, the clitoral stimulator is reasonably pleasurable on the highest setting.
Its noise level is pretty quiet, particularly the whirring sound made by the come-hither motion.
The curved handle makes the toy easy to hold and the buttons are well positioned and easy to press.

What I Didn’t Like About the Beta

I wish it was possible to use the Tracy’s Dog Beta’s come-hither motion without the vibrations. Like a lot of people, I don’t find internal vibrations pleasurable and they can even be actively uncomfortable.
The vibrations themselves are super buzzy.
No matter how I positioned it, I couldn’t get the clitoral stimulator to make a good connection with my clit without having to angle the internal part in a way that was painful.
I wish the clitoral stimulator had more settings. The internal arm has an impressive ten, but the suction part only three. To me, this speaks to an ongoing problem with the design of these types of toys: it views clitoral stimulation as an afterthought or add-on, rather than the main event that it is for the vast majority of vulva-owners.
A toy that retails for almost £60 really should be properly waterproof.

Let’s move on to the Elatia.

Tracy’s Dog Elatia: Details

The Elatia is one of the newest Tracy’s Dog toys and, like the Beta, is a rabbit style toy with a difference.

Like the Beta, the Tracy’s Dog Elatia is also made of dark purple silicone. It has a gold plastic accent around the button panel. This one features two internal “ears” that move back and forth in an alternating motion, and a “tickling” clitoral stimulator made up of lots of little flexible strands.

The Elatia measures around 10″ in total length, 5.5″ in insertable length, and 1.3″ in diameter at the widest point.

The Elatia is USB rechargeable, and again you’ll get about an hour of use from a full charge. This toy is IPX6 waterproof, meaning it is protected from powerful jets of water. This one is likely fine for shower play and washing under the tap, but again should not be submerged.

The Elatia retails for £56.46 at the time of writing.

What I Liked About the Elatia

The shape and construction of this one works well for my body. It is easy to insert it and then position the external stimulator over my clit without needing to contort into any weird positions!
It has 10 different vibration modes, 7 tickling modes, and 6 come-hither modes. Considering you can use them in any combination, this is hundreds of possible mix-and-match combos to figure out what works for your body.
The almost “tapping” sensation you get from the internal ears is really interesting and different. Personally I only like it on the lowest setting, as anything more becomes too intense, but your mileage may vary.
All three motors are controllable completely independently. Want clit tickling and vibrations without internal movement? Want the come-hither motion without vibrations? All three at once? You got it.
The clit tickler is truly excellent. It’s more gentle than a traditional vibrator, and I’m not sure I could ever orgasm from it, but as either a warm-up or an addition to internal stimulation it’s amazing. I kind of want a clitoral toy that just does that now, to be honest!
The clitoral stimulator’s motor is good – it’s strong and not buzzy.
Like the Beta, the Tracy’s Dog Elatia’s noise level is relatively quiet and unobtrusive compared with many similar toys I’ve tried.

What I Didn’t Like About the Elatia

The shaft is completely rigid, meaning that positioning options are limited. The shape of this one actually works reasonably well for my body, as mentioned above, but the rigidity means it won’t work for a lot of users.
All those little silicone fronds and the space between the ears are a nightmare to clean.
The internal vibrations have a decent level of power, but they’re so buzzy that all the benefits of that power are lost.
As I said about the Beta, the Tracy’s Dog Elatia should really be submersible at this price point.

Tracy’s Dog Beta vs Elatia: Which One Did I Like Best?

This probably isn’t going to surprise anyone who has noted the disparity in the likes/dislikes lists, but of these two Tracy’s Dog rabbit toys I far prefer the Elatia. It works much better for my body from a positioning perspective, has an actually-good clitoral stimulator, and has completely independent controls for the three motors.

I don’t think the Beta is necessarily a bad product. I just don’t think it’s one for me.

Thanks to Tracy’s Dog for sponsoring this review and sending me the Beta and Elatia rabbit vibrators to try! All views are, as always, my own. Check out my other Tracy’s Dog toy reviews and peruse their catalogue for more.

Header image for Funzze review of double-ended stainless steel dildo

[Toy Review] Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo

Published on November 7, 2024March 21, 2026 by Amy

Funzze is a relatively new brand on my radar, having only previously tried one of their toys at the time of writing. However, they do have some interesting things in their catalogue, so I was happy to agree to doing another set of reviews. This week, we’re looking at the Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo.

Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo Details

The Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo is described as “a stainless steel G spot dildo with a sinuous shape, equipped with 2 insertable ends that offer different sensations.” That’s a pretty accurate summary. (Sinuous, FYI, means “having many curves and turns” and is just a very pleasing word to say.)

One end of the dildo is a smooth curve with a bulbed head, and the other end has four rippling beads. The Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo measures 8.5″ end to end and a slimline 1.5″ in diameter at the widest part of the beads.

In terms of comparisons, it’s somewhat similar to the famous Njoy Fun Wand. However, the curve is less pronounced, the bulbs flow together rather than being completely distinct and separate pieces, and the head is a different shape. As such, I feel comfortable calling this a similar design rather than a copycat or a ripoff. At the end of the day, there are a lot of similar toys out there from different manufacturers and true innovation is rare in this industry.

Let’s Talk About Stainless Steel for a Minute

This toy is made of 304 grade stainless steel, which is a hardwearing, non-porous, and body-safe material. You can use it in water, boil-wash it to sterilise, and use it with any kind of lube you like.

304 is a cheaper alternative to 316 stainless steel, which contains higher levels of the element molybdenum. Molybdenum increases the corrosion resistance of stainless steel as well as increasing its heat resistance at high temperatures, neither of which are likely to be particularly relevant for sex toy use under normal circumstances.

Both 304 and 316 stainless steel contain some amount of nickel, a common allergen. Interestingly, according to the Nickel Institute, there’s a sex difference in play here. This organisation says that 15-16% of women but only around 4-5% of men suffer from nickel allergic contact dermatitis (NACD).

So is 304 stainless steel safe if you have a nickel allergy? The information I could find on this one was mixed. Some sources state that 304 and 316 stainless steels are effectively hypoallergenic. The Nickel Institute says:

For example, nickel-containing stainless steels are used by high quality watch manufacturers. Such high quality stainless steels contain 9% to 28% nickel but do not release sufficient amounts of nickel to cause a nickel allergy.

Some additional sources agree that the risk is minimal. Others, however, state that stainless steels can cause an allergic reaction in people with a nickel allergy. The sources I consulted were even mixed on whether or not 304 and 316 stainless steels were safe for use in body piercing.

Ultimately, you will need to decide on your own safety profile and level of acceptable risk. Personally, given that you’re presumably going to be inserting it into highly sensitive areas of the body and it will certainly make contact with mucus membranes, I wouldn’t risk using a stainless steel dildo if you have a nickel allergy. If you feel comfortable with the risk or know from experience that these toys are okay for you, though, have at it.

What I Liked About the Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo

With all of that said, it was time to dive into trying out the Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo. Let’s look at the things I liked about it first.

The double-ended design means that this stainless steel dildo is essentially two toys in one. As such, it offers a variety of different sensations to explore.
I love the slim shaft. Due to their hardness, stainless steel toys can be seriously intense, even for experienced users. Too much girth would make this toy either uncomfortable or just unusable for me, so the slender design is perfect.
The pronounced head on the smoother end is ideal for targeting the G-spot or prostate. The rippled end is fantastic for lovers of texture. (Pro tip: if thrusting with this toy is too intense for you or feels uncomfortable, try either wiggling it very gently or just holding it in place and allowing your body’s muscles to contract around it.)
The weight! One of the things that makes stainless steel so irresistible for sex toys is the sheer heft it offers. While this can make use more challenging for some, it also offers amazing pay-off in terms of how the toy feels. If you want intensity and lots of it, you’ve come to the right place.
Stainless steel conducts temperature better than almost any other sex toy material. Want to play with some different sensations? Run your toy under warm water or pop it in the fridge for a few minutes before playing.
It arrived in cardboard packaging (recyclable and minimising single-use plastic) and comes with a storage bag included.
It’s quick and easy to clean.
It retails for $69.99 (around £54), which is super good value for a stainless steel toy of this size.

Inevitably, I’m going to be asked if the Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo is anal-safe. I’m a little torn on this one, because it does not technically have a large flared base. So after much deliberation, I’m settling on “probably.” It’s most likely fine as long as you use one end as a handle and insert no more than 50% of the toy at a time. Realistically, it’s also large and heavy enough that the entire toy isn’t going to get sucked up inside you without some serious effort. However, due to the shape, I advise against doing very deep penetration with this one.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

I really have no major criticisms of this product. Overall it’s a great design, excellent value, and a pleasure to use.

The finish on this dildo isn’t as perfectly smooth and shiny as you’ll find on some of the higher end stainless steel toys on the market. However, it’s also quite significantly less expensive than the prices that some of the more well-known and premium brands charge.

In a perfectly ideal world I would have preferred a slightly more pronounced curve, particularly to the smoother end of the dildo. This would make it more effective for very targeted G-spot or prostate stimulation. However, this is really more a matter of personal preference than a criticism of the toy. Bodies are all different, and this toy’s gentle curve will be ideal for some users.

Verdict

When I initially saw this toy, I was a little sceptical due to the relatively low price. However, the Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo is an excellent product and an affordable alternative to some of those high-ticket toys that are out of reach for many would-be users.

The Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo retails for $69.99.

Thanks to Funzze for sending me this product and sponsoring this review. All views, as always, are mine. Product images by Funzze.