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Deinfluencing You: 6 Sexual Wellness and Pleasure Products You Do Not Need

Published on March 31, 2025March 2, 2026 by Amy

I’ve only ever been called an “influencer” once and to be honest, friends, it made my teeth itch. I never set out to be an influencer, and ultimately the only thing I want to “influence” anyone to do is to have healthier, happier sex lives and more fulfilling relationships. That may or may not include buying quality sexual wellness or pleasure products. And today I’m going to be deinfluencing you from buying a bunch of stuff you don’t need.

Settle in, get comfy, and grab a beverage, because this one got long.

I’m tremendously grateful, of course, to all the brands and business owners that have trusted me to test, review, and promote their products and to everyone who has ever used my affiliate links to make a purchase. Those deals and the money I make from them help me to keep the site going and pay my bills But my first duty is and will always be to my readers.

I promised right at the beginning of Coffee & Kink that I would never lie, deliberately omit pertinent information, or promote things I hadn’t tried or didn’t believe in. I’m proud to have stuck to that philosophy for more than 8 years.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this “deinfluencing you” trend that I’m seeing all over the various social media platforms, particularly Instagram and TikTok. In a nutshell, deinfluencing is all about the stuff you don’t need to buy. It’s about encouraging people to be more mindful about the products they buy, avoiding both overhyped nonsense that doesn’t work and micro-trends that will be used a handful of times and end up in landfill by this time next year.

Done right, deinfluencing can help to reduce overconsumption, reduce waste, and save money.

What I haven’t seen yet, though, is any deinfluencing content specifically related to sexual wellness products. So I thought I’d create some.

Stuff You Don’t Need: 6 Sexual Wellness and Pleasure Products I’m Deinfluencing You From

First, a quick disclaimer: this is ultimately my opinion. If you’ve bought any of these products and found that they changed your sex life for the better, you do you! I’m happy for you. The point of this isn’t to say these products are inherently bad (though some of them are). The point is to get you to look past the marketing hype and consider whether they’ll actually be beneficial to you.

So what pleasure products and sexual wellness stuff don’t you need? Here are six I’m deinfluencing you from buying today.

Sex Toy Cleaner is a Waste of Money

Dedicated “toy cleaner” for sex toys is a scam, and an expensive one at that. Simply put, it probably won’t hurt you but you definitely don’t need it. There’s nothing special, magical, or unique about sex toy cleaner. It’s literally a body-safe (sometimes) antibacterial spray or liquid, that’s it. If you’re using non-porous, body-safe toys, you don’t need the stuff. If you’re using porous or toxic toys, it won’t help you.

You can safely skip the toy cleaner and save money by learning how to clean your toys quickly and easily without it. Here’s the TL/DR version of a few ways to do it:

Boil silicone, glass, or stainless steel non-motorized toys in a pot of water on the stove for 10 minutes.
Clean ABS plastic toys and water-resistant motorized toys with some warm water and a gentle antibacterial soap.
For everything else, or for a quick clean-up between uses, a body-safe sterile wipe (the kind you can buy in bulk designed for cleaning medical instruments) is a great option.

You Don’t Need Any Stuff to Change How Your Genitals Taste, Smell, or Look

Though no-one is immune, these types of products and services are disproportionately marketed at people with vulvas. There is an enormous and hugely profitable industry out there designed to make you feel bad about the appearance, smell, or taste of your genitals. This category covers everything from sprays, creams, douches, and intimate washes through to supplements and even extreme solutions such as cosmetic surgeries.

But here’s the thing: pussy is supposed to smell and taste like pussy. Not flowers or honey or fucking cookies. And healthy, normal genitals come in numerous shapes, sizes, colours, textures, levels of symmetry, amounts and types of hair, and more. I want to deinfluence you not just from buying bogus products, but from thinking there is a single thing wrong with your beautiful, perfect genitals exactly as they are.

At best, anything designed to change the smell or taste of your genitals is unlikely to work for longer than a few minutes. At worst, these products can be actively dangerous. Many of them contain harmful ingredients which can disrupt the delicate balance of bacteria, throw off your pH levels, and lead to discomfort or even infection.

The amazing thing about the vagina is that it’s self-cleaning. You don’t need to – and shouldn’t – put any products inside it at all. The external vulva needs nothing more than a daily wash with some warm water to keep it clean. Some experts say to use a gentle and unperfumed soap, others say to avoid soaps entirely.

Short of surgery, you also can’t change how your genitals look. And you don’t need to! Your bits don’t need to be bigger, smaller, tighter, plumper, skinnier, neater, or any other bullshit you’ve been fed. They’re perfect exactly as they are. Anyone who shames or criticises you for the normal look, feel, taste, or smell of your genitals doesn’t deserve to be anywhere near your glorious body.

**You Don’t Need Scented or Flavoured Lube (Especially Seasonal Flavoured Lube)**

I’m a big fan of lube. I probably have about ten or fifteen bottles of the stuff scattered around my bedroom, in my party kit, in my various travel bags for visiting my long-distance girlfriend, and in my “to be reviewed” pile. I believe lube can help to make mediocre sex good, and good sex great.

Flavoured lube, though?

No. That stuff can fuck off.

Flavoured lube is often packed with ingredients such as glycerin and other sweeteners, flavourings and fragrances. All of these can be really bad for vulvovaginal health. It also tends to have an unpleasant sticky texture.

And again: genitals are meant to smell and taste like genitals. Not strawberry. Not bubblegum. And certainly not any “seasonal” flavours, like that caramel latte stuff I reviewed once and then forgot about and ultimately threw away two years later because, even though it was less gross than many such products, I still don’t actually want my/my partners’ bits to taste of coffee and sugar.

While I’m deinfluencing you from buying flavoured lubes, I think we also need an honourable mention for flavoured condoms. I can sort of see the appeal of them if you’re someone who uses barriers for oral sex. Latex tastes nasty, after all. But in my considered opinion, those horrible artificial flavours taste worse. Pro tip: choose non-latex condoms made from materials like polyurethane (PU) condoms, and go for the non-lubricated variety, to minimise the taste and smell.

Supplements Won’t Fix Low Sexual Desire

Libido-boosting supplements and arousal supplements are big business. Manufacturers of these products make lofty claims, but do they work? Probably not, says Harvard Medical School. Some of these products may contain ingredients for which there is some evidence base, but at best they’re a helping hand, not a magic solution. Often, they’re pure pseudoscience.

Sometimes, libido supplements they can even be dangerous. They can cause unforseen side effects, allergic reactions, or interactions with other prescription or over-the-counter medication. If you’re going to try one, always consult a healthcare professional first. My ultimate recommendation, though, is to avoid these products unless you’re specifically directed to take one by your doctor.

Why? They’re a neat and easy “solution” to a complex issue which may or may not even be a problem at all.

Sexual desire (it’s not a drive!) is complex. Many people do not experience spontaneous desire (that “out of the blue” horniness or desire for sex, without any kind of sexually relevant stimulus) at all. Others experience it rarely, or find that its frequency declines with age. And some experience it all the time! All of these experiences are normal and healthy.

If your sexual desire is low, whether it’s always been low or has dipped recently, you don’t need scammy stuff like pills and potions. Instead, you need to take the time to understand what’s going on for you. Factors such as ageing, hormonal changes, pain, disability, stress, mental health problems, pregnancy and parenting, caring responsibilities, relationship challenges, and bereavement are just a few of the things that can impact sexual desire and sexual response. You might also be on the asexual spectrum or just a person with naturally low sexual desire. If your level of desire or lack thereof is not causing a problem for you, then… it’s not a problem!

Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are and its accompanying workbook is an unbeatable resource for anyone who is struggling with sexual desire. It’s primarily about the experiences of cis women and other people with vulvas, but Nagoski’s insights and the science underpinning them can be transformative for anyone. It’ll cost you a lot less than a packet of “libido-boosting supplements” and it’ll likely help you a hell of a lot more. (I might be deinfluencing you from buying crappy sexual wellness products, but I’m very happy to influence you into reading and internalising the brilliance of Dr. Nagoski!)

Note: what I’m not talking about in this section is pleasure balm, clitoral stimulation cream and so on. You apply these topically and they contain ingredients that stimulate blood flow or provide a pleasurable tingling sensation. I’m a big fan of these products and to the best of my knowledge, believe them to be safe.

Deinfluencing You From the Numbing Lubes, Sprays, and Creams

Numbling lubes, as well as other products such as sprays and creams, contain desensitising ingredients such as lidocaine or benzocaine. They’re particularly popular for anal sex. Some people also use them to delay ejaculation.

This is another product that isn’t just bad and a waste of money, it’s dangerous.

Never, ever, ever use a numbling agent for any kind of penetrative sex, whether anal or vaginal. Sex should not hurt. Yes, including anal sex – this is one of the biggest and most harmful anal sex myths there is. Yes, including the first time you have penetrative sex. If sex is painful, something is wrong. You might not be sufficiently aroused or lubricated. You might be tense or worried. Or there might be an underlying medical cause.

Regardless of the reason, numbing the area so you don’t feel the pain isn’t the answer. Pain is your body’s way of telling you something is wrong. Without its vital signals, you literally won’t be able to tell if damage is happening to your delicate tissue. Sex should never be something you have to push through or numb your body to get through.

Though it’s not as dangerous, I’d also like to deinfluence you from using numbing agents to delay ejaculation. Firstly, they reduce pleasure, which is likely one of the main reasons you’re having sex in the first place. Some people experience unwanted side effects such as redness, irritation, or even an allergic reaction. They can also transfer to your partner during penetrative sex, numbing or causing irritation to their vagina or anus.

If you’re tempted to reach for the numbing lube or spray, whether to deal with painful sex or to manage ejaculation that’s faster than you would like, seek support from a qualified medical professional such as a doctor or psychosexual therapist instead.

Yoni Eggs, Quartz Wands, and Other Crystal Sex Toys Can Be Dangerous

Remember those “jade eggs” that Gwynneth Paltrow’s company, Goop, was selling a few years back? The company ended up paying $145,000 in fines for “unsubstantiated” marketing claims. Goop claimed that its jade eggs and quartz eggs could correct all kinds of medical issues, from hormonal imbalances to irregular mentrual cycles. Spoiler: they couldn’t.

Yoni eggs are egg-shaped pleasure products, designed to be inserted into the vagina. They’re usually made from gems such as jade or rose quartz. Other, similar products include quartz wands, which are basically dildos made from rose quartz. Proponents claim that these products have an array of impressive benefits, from altering hormones to healing sexual trauma. Spoiler: they don’t.

Some claims about crystal sex toys are readily disprovable with, you know, science. Others are so vague and wishy-washy as to be functionally meaningless. “As for ‘female energy’… I’m a gynaecologist and I don’t know what that is,” quips the amazing Dr. Jen Gunter.

Say it with me: crystals look pretty but they have absolutely no other powers or properties. Sorry pals, but I’m here to tell you that these things are absolute, solid gold, grade A bullshit. It’s pure woo nonsense made up to sell you things. And if you put crystals inside your body, they can also be dangerous.

Firstly, crystals are often porous. This means they will harbour bacteria and never get truly clean, leading to issues such as infections. This is a particular risk for products such as yoni eggs, which are designed to be worn inside the vagina for hours at a time. Some gynecologists have even identified them as a risk for toxic shock syndrome, which can be fatal.

Stones and crystals vary widely in both their porosity and their overall quality. Because the sex toy industry is largely unregulated, it can be hard to be sure that what you’re getting is what the manufacturer claims it is. That’s why writers, educators, and advocates like me are constantly banging on about how you should only buy from reputable retailers. This risk goes up massively when you’re dealing with things like crystals.

Crystal mining can also be harmful to the environment and to the people who actually dig these stones out of the ground. According to solicitor Rebecca Swan, writing for UK law firm Leigh Day, crystal mining can come with a steep human cost: injury, death, child labour, and economic exploitation. According to Tess McClure, writing for The Guardian, crystal mining is contributing directly to rainforest destruction and threatening the survival of endangered species. Some activists have even called crystals “the new blood diamonds.”

Not so “healing”, huh? If these facts don’t deinfluence you from being tempted by crystal pleasure products, I don’t know what will.

Leave the crystals alone. Your body and the planet will thank you.

I hope this has given you pause for thought if you were considering buying any of these products, which vary from “unnecessary and expensive” to “actively dangerous.” If I think of other sex-related stuff you definitely don’t need, I might follow this up with a part 2.

Looking for pleasure products that are good for your body from companies you can trust? Check out my favourite retailers in the right hand sidebar or read my sex toy reviews for an unbiased and informed perspective.

Vibeology Clitoral Stimulation Cream review header featuring a woman's hands holding some white cosmetic cream

[Better Sex Products Review] Vibeology Pulse Clitoral Stimulation Cream

Published on August 20, 2024March 26, 2026 by Amy

After trying out Vibeology’s excellent organic water-based lube last week, I was excited to also get to try their Pulse clitoral stimulation cream.

What Are Clitoral Stimulation Creams?

In a nutshell, a clitoral stimulation cream (which can also be a gel, balm, or oil) is a substance that you apply to the clitoris and surrounding area. The ingredients work to enhance pleasure, create additional sensations such as tingling and warming, and boost sensitivity.

These products are a great tool for people who struggle with arousal difficulties or loss of sensitivity, or just for anyone who wants to experience heightened arousal or more pleasure. They also have some great potential applications in kink and BDSM scenarios, particularly around orgasm control and forced orgasm.

Pulse Clitoral Stimulation Cream: What’s In It?

Vibeology Clitoral Stimulation Cream — Image: Shevibe/Vibeology

You probably know by now that, when testing any product that goes directly on the genitals, the first thing I do is look at the ingredients list. So what’s in Vibeology Clitoral Stimulation Cream and is it safe and body-friendly?

The Ingredients Are As Follows:

Purified water
Aloe Barbadensis (Aloe Vera) leaf juice: A natural and safe ingredient which also has positive skincare benefits such as hydrating and irritation-reducing
Dimethiconol: A silicone-based liquid polymer that is used as a skin conditioner and to improve viscosity in silicone-based products. As it is a large molecule, it does not penetrate the skin and is likely a safe ingredient.
Polysorbate 20: A surfactant and emulsifier which studies have determined to be safe.
Plant-based Squalane: Squalene (note the spelling) is an oil that is traditionally taken from shark livers but can also be derived from plant sources. I reached out to Vibeology’s team and their development chemist confirmed that they use plant-based squalane from olives.
Hydroxyethylcellulose: A plant-derived gelling and thickening agent that seems to be safe.
PEG-16 Macadamia glycerides: A liquid emollient derived from macadamia nut oil and considered to be safe for cosmetic use.
Mentha Piperita (peppermint) leaf oil: An essential oil derived from the peppermint plant and safe in small quantities. Provides a cooling and tingling sensation, which is why you so often see it in this type of product.
Bisabolol: A safe plant-based skin soothing extract, primarily from chamomile.
Tocopherol acetate: A pure form of Vitamin E that is safe and commonly appears in skincare products.
Zanthoyxlum Bungeanum extract: An extract from Sichuan peppers that finds use in both food and skincare and does not appear to have any negative effects.
Cucumis Sativus extract: An extract from the cucumber plant that can be soothing to the skin and also adds to the product’s scent.
Citric acid: A preservative that is harmless in small quantities.

I have no concerns about Vibeology Pulse Clitoral Stimulation Cream from an ingredients or body-safety perspective.

Sensory Properties

Vibeology Pulse Clitoral Stimulation Cream comes in a small and easy-to-use pump top bottle.

This product has a noticeably lighter scent than many of the similar products I’ve tried. Some of them are almost overwhelmingly minty. So if you are sensitive to scents, this might be a good alternative to consider. It’s still slightly minty, but it’s light and pleasant.

Initially, I really loved the feel of this cream. It feels silky-smooth and massages into my skin easily. However, I quickly noticed that it was feeling pretty sticky. After I’d applied it I was left with a tacky, oily residue on my fingers that I needed to wash off quickly.

This stuff also tastes vile. Most of the arousal gels, creams and oils I’ve tried have had a distinctive but not unpleasant taste (except that one that tasted like inhaling perfume!) For some reason, though, Vibeology Pulse Clitoral Stimulation Cream has a really nasty, chemically taste that I couldn’t get out of my mouth. Don’t use this for oral sex.

So far, so unpromising. But did it achieve the desired effect?

Pulse Clitoral Stimulation Cream: Does It Work?

For me? Not really.

I’ve used quite a few products like this, and they have varying levels of effectiveness. Different products work for different bodies. This one produced a slight tingling, but very little else and its effects wore off very quickly. I applied more, and the same thing happened again. Overall, really disappointing.

Vibeology’s website claims this product is “compatible with pleasure objects,” by which I assume they mean sex toys. The presence of dimethiconol, a silicone, makes me hesitant about using it with silicone toys. With the tiny quantities you need, it’s probably fine, but I recommend doing a patch-test first so you don’t accidentally ruin your favourite silicone toy.

Due to the various oils, don’t use this one with barriers such as condoms or dams as it can degrade them and increase the risk of breakage.

Verdict

Meh.

I was underwhelmed by this one, especially after liking Vibeology’s lube so much. Unfortunately, it just didn’t really work for me.

Pulse Clitoral Stimulation Cream retails for $16/£12.10 for 30ml.

Thanks to Shevibe for sending me this clitoral stimulation cream to test and review! All views and experiences are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post..

[Better Sex Products Review] For Play Couples’ Chocolate

Published on July 7, 2024March 18, 2026 by Amy

Whenever I encounter a sex-related thing I haven’t tried before, I immediately want to try it (and tell my readers all about it, obviously.) That’s why, when For Play Couples’ Sex Chocolate came across my social feed recently, I immediately fired off an email to founder Victoria to enquire about featuring them on my blog.

She was kind enough to send me some samples of her company’s products to try. We decided to publish this review today in celebration of World Chocolate Day.

Sex and chocolate are, after all, two of life’s greatest pleasures.

So What is For Play Chocolate?

For Play Chocolate came about when Victoria, a former CMO with an MBA, began to research the issue of sustaining intimacy in a long-term relationship. Drawing on research from an array of experts including Dr Karen Gurney and Emily Nagoski, PhD, she decided to create a product to “remind couples to make time for intimacy and play.”

Known variously as couples’ chocolate, sex chocolate, horny chocolate, and aphrodisiac chocolate, For Play chocolate kits are designed to help couples to connect, get in the mood for romance, and enjoy greater levels of intimacy.

Each box of For Play sex chocolate comes with six chocolates (three for each partner) and six “Play Cards”. The cards offer suggestions for erotic experiences to try, from taking a sexy shower together to experimenting with food play. There are also question cards to help you connect, reflect, and learn more about each other and your relationship.

The chocolates are labelled “His” and “Hers”, and there are boxes available for same-gender or different-gender couples. I’d love to see a non-binary or genderless version added to the range in the future, if possible.

For Play sex chocolate kits come beautifully packaged in sleek and stylish boxes in either pink, purple, or green. The chocolates themselves are beautiful, too, decorated with pink and bronze edible shimmer. The overall first impression is of luxury and high quality.

For Play’s products are vegan and made using ethically sourced 62% Ecuadorian dark chocolate. Their supplier is Original Beans chocolate, rated as a leading company by Chocolate Scorecard for environmental, sustainability, and labour practices.

How Does For Play Sex Chocolate Work?

For Play’s sex chocolate is super delicious, combining the sweet-bitter combo of quality dark chocolate with the infusion of subtle, natural botanical flavours. It melts smoothly in the mouth and the popping candy leaves a fun tingling sensation in its wake.

But how does it work?

Mr C&K had a long chat about this when we sampled our chocolates, and we came to the conclusion that this product works in two main ways. I’m going to call them “direct” and “indirect.”

The Direct Effects: The Science Bit

The direct way that For Play sex chocolate works is through its botanical and adaptogenic ingredients. To understand this better, we need to delve into the science a little bit.

An aphrodisiac, in the most basic sense, is “a food or drug that arouses sexual instinct, brings on desire, or increases sexual pleasure or performance” (Healthline.) Numerous foods, from oysters to strawberries and even hot chilli peppers, have been alleged to be aphrodisiacs throughout history.

Another common food thought to have aphrodisiac properties? Dark chocolate.

Little to no concrete scientific evidence directly links most common aphrodisiac foods to an increase in sexual desire. However, this doesn’t mean there is nothing to the concept at all. Experts have attempted to explain aphrodisiacs’ apparent benefits through various means, from simple placebo to the sensual pleasure of consuming delicious things, the “luxury” status that society affords some of these foods, and the impact on bodily functions that play a role in sexual activity and desire (such as blood flow and dopamine release.)

Some foods and edible compounds, therefore, may play a role in sexual functioning in various ways. Let’s look at the active ingredients in For Play’s couples’ chocolate and what the research has to say about them.

Dark Chocolate

Dark chocolate like the kind For Play uses has often been associated with sex, sensuality, and desire. is rich in both antioxidants and caffeine, both of which can improve blood flow. It also contains L-arginine, which may enhance sexual responsiveness. A 2021 systematic review suggested that “l-arginine, as part of a combination product, may be considered for the treatment of women with Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, regardless of age.” (Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder or HSDD is, broadly, a lack of sexual desire or very low desire that causes distress or negatively impacts your life.)

Consuming chocolate also triggers the release of chemicals such as endorphins and dopamine, which are associated with feelings of happiness and wellbeing.

Maca

Maca, which comes from the Peruvian maca root plant, has long been thought to boost fertility and sexual desire. One 2002 study indicated an improvement in self-perception of sexual desire in men after 8 weeks of maca use. Another pilot investigation also indicated that treatment with maca extract increased sexual desire amongst male athletes. Maca is only in For Play’s “For Him” chocolates, as there is currently more evidence for its effectiveness in (cis) men.

Ashwagandha

Ashwagandha is a herb that originated in India and has been utilised in various ways for centuries. A 2015 pilot study showed that ashwagandha root extract could improve sexual functioning in otherwise healthy cis women. Another 2022 study indicated that treatment with ashwagandha provided a “statistically significant improvement” in sexual functioning amongst women with HSDD. Ashwagandha is in For Play’s “For Her” chocolates.

Fenugreek

Fenugreek, a clover-like herb that belongs to the pea family, finds use in both cooking and herbal medicines. One study found that “Sexual function analysis for all women… found that treatment with fenugreek resulted in reported increases in sexual arousal and desire in women” (Tester, 2015.) Another double-blinded and placebo-controlled 2021 study found that fenugreek “offered significant beneficial effects to sexual problems” amongst its female participants.

Korean ginseng

Ginseng is a vasodilator, or something that opens the blood vessels. By increasing blood flow in this way, it can have sexual benefits such as helping with erectile dysfunction. A small 2002 study and a 2008 systematic review found “suggestive evidence for the effectiveness of red ginseng in treating ED.” Likewise, a placebo-controlled double blind 2010 study found that “Oral administration of KRG extracts improved sexual arousal in menopausal women.”

In a Nutshell…

A product like For Play sex chocolate for couples is a helping hand, not a magic bullet. If you’re stressed out, angry at your partner, or suffering from the sexual side effects of health problems or medication, it isn’t going to magically override all that and make you horny. No food or substance can, because human sexuality is way more complicated than that.

What its ingredients can do, though, is give your body a natural nudge in the right direction. Combined with creating the right conditions for pleasure and intimacy – which we’ll discuss more in the next section – these adaptogenic ingredients can work with your body to enhance intimacy and pleasure.

For Play notes that you should seek medical advice before using their products if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or taking any medications. And, of course, you should avoid this product if you are allergic or sensitive to any of the ingredients.

The Indirect Effects of For Play Sex Chocolate: Finding New Ways to Stay Connected

The indirect way that For Play Chocolate works is all about creating the time, space, and physical and emotional context for greater intimacy in your relationship.

Sex, after all, is mental at least as much as physical. In her life-changing book Come As You Are, Emily Nagoski writes extensively about the devastating impact that life stress, mental health challenges, lack of trust, lack of emotional safety, and feelings of pressure can have on sexual desire. To connect better with our partners and ourselves, we need to reduce stress, feel safe and seen, and make space for desire and pleasure.

Staying connected and keeping intimacy, passion, and sex going in a long-term relationship can be challenging. New relationship energy (NRE) naturally fades over time into the more comfortable, cosy warmth of long-term love. This is particularly true when you’re married or nested, your lives are very entangled, or you’re raising children together.

It is important for couples to set time aside to focus on each other and their relationship. Exploration, adventure, and trying new things can all help to keep the spark of novelty alive. With those things and a little effort, the long haul can be where the really good stuff is. There’s nothing like completely knowing someone and them knowing you inside and out, and choosing each other every day.

Using a product like For Play sex chocolate can help couples to create that all-important time together. It can facilitate the conditions needed for intimacy of all kinds – including sexual, physical, and emotional – to flourish.

For Play Couples’ Chocolate is really a date night in a box. You get to set aside dedicated time for your relationship, enjoy some tasty treats together, and explore new ways of connecting. There are even some suggested Spotify playlists to help set the mood.

I found the question cards particularly great for this aspect of the experience. The question prompts sparked some interesting discussions and also plenty of laughter. Even seemingly simple questions (“What does intimacy mean to you?” was my favourite) can get you thinking and talking about things in a different way.

Verdict

I really enjoyed this product, which is far more than just a gimmick. A lot of thought and care has gone into the formulation and creation of For Play’s kits. The quality of the chocolate, ethical credentials, and beautiful presentation really elevates them, too.

For Play sex chocolate retails at £28 per couples’ kit. That’s less than you’d pay for a meal in a mid-range restaurant or about what you’d pay for a couple of drinks in a nice bar. Since you only need one chocolate each time, you’ll get three experiences out of one box. And, of course, you can continue to use the cards for as long as you like.

A thoughtful (and tasty) romantic gift or a cute way to set aside a little “us time” with your partner. There’s also a 30 day satisfaction guarantee with your purchase.

Shop For Play Couples’ Chocolate here.

Thanks to For Play for sponsoring this review and sending me a box of their sex chocolate for couples to test. All views are, as always, mine. Professional product images by For Play and reproduced here with permission.

Header image for Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer by Bijoux Indiscrets review

[Better Sex Products Review] Bijoux Indiscrets Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer

Published on April 8, 2024March 26, 2026 by Amy

An orgasm enhancer is a balm, cream, or gel that you apply to your genitals to increase sensitivity. At least in theory and for some people, they can improve the likelihood, speed, frequency, and intensity of orgasms. I received Bijoux Indiscrets‘ new Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer to test and review.

Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer: Details

Bijoux Indiscrets Aphrodisia orgasm enhancer

The Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer is a water-based product that contains a long list of primarily plant-based ingredients. I Googled the ones I’m not familiar with, and they are all generally regarded as safe for cosmetic use. (Though I don’t love the use of “parfum”, which is non-specific and can refer to any combination of over 3000 ingredients. This is standard practice for cosmetics and personal care products, unfortunately.) If you have allergies or sensitivities, always check the ingredients list carefully.

In terms of active ingredients, I suspect the menthyl lactate is doing a lot of the work in this product. Derived from menthol, this ingredient is commonly used as a cooling agent in cosmetics and provides a tingly sensation when applied to the skin. This effect is particularly strong on sensitive areas much as the genitals, and the clitoris in particular.

All the products in this range are so beautifully packaged, with a black and gold colour scheme and floral motifs. Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer comes in a small tube that resembles a lipgloss or mascara and has a pump top applicator.

Like all of Bijoux Indiscrets’ products, the Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer is vegan.

Do Orgasm Enhancers Work?

An orgasm enhancer like Bijoux Indiscrets Aphrodisia is not a magic bullet. The right one can boost sensitivity and responsiveness and can help you to experience more intense sensations. There might even be a little bit of a placebo effect going on: you think the balm is going to help, so you feel more relaxed and receptive, so you experience more pleasure.

However, an orgasm enhancer (no matter how good) cannot overcome many of the issues that can get in the way of pleasure and orgasm – stress, anxiety, depression, body image struggles, physical pain or discomfort, lack of trust or safety in a relationship, poor communication, or sexual acts that simply don’t work for you.

These products also don’t work the same way for everyone, and different bodies respond to different ingredients. If one orgasm enhancer doesn’t work for you, a different one might.

All this to say, go in with realistic expectations. An orgasm enhancer isn’t going to cure all your sexual woes. What it might be able to do is help you to experience more pleasure, transform a good experience into a great one, or give you that little extra push to get over the edge of climax.

How Does This Product Smell, Taste, and Feel?

Bijoux Indiscrets’ Aphrodisia range has a distinctive scent that all the products share. It’s a pleasant, floral-yet-sexy scent made up primarily of rose, ylang ylang, and jasmine.

I have mixed views about using something perfumed on my genitals. I’m generally averse to doing so because a lot of the ingredients that go into scents aren’t necessarily the healthiest for a vulva. You only need a tiny amount of Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer to get the effects though, and it’s only used externally, so it’s probably fine unless you have an allergy or sensitivity. I have used it several times now and haven’t experienced any irritation or other issues.

The scent lingers long after application, so you might want to have a bath or a wash afterwards (or, honestly, just go around smelling of flowers all day—the scent is lovely enough that you absolutely can, and no-one who caught a whiff of it would know it was a sex product.)

I will say that you probably don’t want to use this stuff for oral sex. You know when you spritz on perfume, and then you breathe in at the wrong moment or realise your mouth was open a bit and you can sort of taste it? Yeah, it tastes like that.

The Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer is white in colour and has a thin texture that reminds me of water-based lube. It’s not oily or sticky, and once it is massaged in it doesn’t leave any unpleasant tacky feeling or residue.

Does Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer Work?

I tried the Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer at a time when I was desiring pleasure and orgasm in theory, but really struggling to actually access them in practice (trying to have sex or masturbate while getting through the worst heartbreak of your life is a fucking ride, y’all.)

When I applied Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer to my clit, I started noticing its effects almost immediately. Within 30 seconds there was a noticeable warming, tingling sensation. The sensation was enjoyable and pulled my attention straight to my clit. It’s not exactly a magical “instant horny” concoction, but it took my arousal level from “I feel like an orgasm might be nice in theory but I’m not sure I can be bothered” to “yes I would like to get off now please.”

The effect lasted well, meaning I did not need to reapply it. If you were having a lengthy sex or masturbation session, you might want to top it up occasionally, but you only need a little bit to get the effect.

In terms of the impact it had on my orgasm, the Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer definitely worked! It boosted my sensitivity and made me even more eager to be touched. I also found it helped me to get wet, which has been a challenge recently.

Was it a miracle cure for the intrusive thoughts of the person who recently broke my heart that keep popping into my head when I’m trying to get off? No, of course not. But did it help me to push through and get out of my head and into my body at least a little bit. It also helped me to reach orgasm more quickly than I’ve been able to recently.

Pro tip: I find that Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer pairs particularly well with clitoral suction toys!

Verdict

If you don’t mind the noticeable floral scent, this stuff is excellent! Clitoral balms have earned a permanent place in my easy grab-basket of sex supplies that lives by my bed, and this is a worthy addition to the collection.

Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer retails for £15/€16/$18. You only get 13ml but since you need such a small amount each time, a tube should last you a while.

Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me the Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer to try. All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header image for Bijoux Indiscrets Bubblegum Play Kit review

[Lube, Cosmetics & Massage Products Review] Bijoux Indiscrets Bubblegum Play Kit

Published on February 7, 2024March 13, 2026 by Amy

One of the fun things about being both a femme and a sex blogger at this time of year is seeing all the sweet, cutesy, pink-and-hearts-and-flowers themed products that companies are putting out for Valentine’s Day. Bijoux Indiscrets were kind enough to send me this year’s Valentine’s offering from their range: the Bubblegum Play Kit which includes a lube, a massage oil, and a lipgloss.

Bijoux Indiscrets Bubblegum Play Kit: Lube, Massage Oil and Lipgloss

The Bubblegum Play Kit contains three products: a warming massage oil, a full-body massage gel that doubles as a water-based lube, and a lipgloss. Each one is scented and flavoured like bubblegum. All three products, like everything in Bijoux’s range, are vegan.

The kit came packaged in a cute pink box with a heart on the front, much like the packaging you might get on a gift set of cosmetics or bath products. The overall effect, like the products themselves, is sweet to the point of saccharine. But how did the contents stack up? Let’s take a closer look at each item.

Warming Massage Oil

This isn’t really an oil in the true sense of the word. As far as I can tell, it doesn’t actually contain any oil at all. It’s really a water-based gel that warms as you massage it in. Still, we’ll call it “massage oil” to distinguish it from the other massage product in this kit.

For me, it takes about a minute to feel the massage oil warming on my skin. You’ll get a more intense warming sensation if you blow gently on it.

I found that the bubblegum massage oil didn’t really blend or get fully absorbed into the skin the way some oils and lubes do. Instead, it tends to linger on the surface. This can be a good thing, as a little bit goes a long way and there’s no need to keep reapplying it. However, it can also be a problem if you don’t enjoy the feeling of having oil or gel lingering on your skin.

This is by far the nicest tasting of the three products. It’s very, very, very sweet, so you’ll want to know that going on. That sweetness is likely due to its first ingredient: glycerin. Due to the glycerin, I found that my hands and skin felt quite sticky after using it and I wanted to wash it off. Glycerin is okay in a massage product in the way it wouldn’t be in a lube, but from a sensory perspective it is a downside to this bubblegum massage oil.

Stickiness aside, though, this is a fine massage gel and the sweet bubblegum taste and pink aesthetic gives it a fun and playful vibe.

You can buy this oil separately for €22/£20. It’s also available in caramel & sea salt and strawberry & honey flavours.

Full Body Bubblegum Massage Gel/Lube

Bijoux Indiscrets bubblegum massage gel/lube

According to Bijoux Indiscrets, this bubblegum flavoured water-based massage gel can double up as an intimate lube. It has quite a long list of ingredients, so you’ll want to review it carefully to make sure there’s nothing you’re sensitive to.

I can’t see anything alarming in the ingredients, but I’m also not enough of an expert to declare them all definitely fine. At the very least this bubblegum gel/lube contains no glycerin or parabens, though it does contain “Aroma” (artificial fragrance/flavour) which is not very specific and can include any number of things.

I do quite like the feeling of this one. It’s somewhere between a thick liquid and a thin gel, and it spreads across the skin nicely and lasts well. However, unlike the massage oil, this gel tastes really unpleasant to me. Instead of sweetness, it’s got a horrible chemical-y taste. I’m quite sensitive to artificial sweeteners and I can really, really taste them in this.

I probably won’t finish this one, honestly. I’m “meh” on flavoured lubes at best to begin with and this isn’t a nice tasting one.

Oral Pleasure Lip Gloss

This lip gloss is more subtly flavoured than the lube and massage oil, but still has a distinctive bubblegum flavour.

After you apply it, you start getting a tingling sensation thanks to the peppermint oil it contains. I think, based on the name, the idea is that you put it on and then perform oral sex with it. I haven’t had the opportunity to try that but I did try putting a bit on my vulva, just to see what the effect would be. It gave a kinda pleasurable tingly, warming feeling a bit like a warming lube or menthol pleasure balm. So that effect might translate if you used it during oral?

The warming and tingling is really noticeable on my lips, to the point that it becomes uncomfortable if I use too much. You really only need a little bit of this one.

This lipgloss lasts well and gives a nice glossy shine. It’s a little sticky, which wasn’t a problem once it was on but made applying it with my fingers annoying. A brush or wand would be better than the pump top bottle. Neither the lube nor the lipgloss are ass aggressively sweet as the massage oil in the Bubblegum Play Kit.

Verdict

I generally liked two out of the three products in this kit and will definitely finish them, though the bubblegum lube was a miss for me. However, at €60/£54 it’s pretty pricey for what it is. For that reason I don’t think I’d buy it again.

If you have a femme in your life who really likes pink things and bubblegum, though, it could be a cute and sensual Valentine’s Day gift.

Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me this product to review! All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header image for sex position wedge article

5 Ways to Use a Sex Position Wedge

Published on December 21, 2023March 22, 2026 by Amy

I recently received Lovehoney’s Ultimate Sex Position Enhancer Set, a two-piece set comprising a sex position wedge and ramp. Instead of doing a straightforward review, I thought I’d do something a little different and tell you about a few different ways you can use these items, from trying new sexual positions to using your wedge as a toy mount.

Sex furniture and sex position aids are having a moment in a big way, and I’ve been wanting to try some for ages. Turns out they are both enormous (Mr C&K when this thing arrived in a comically huge box: “Amy, where on EARTH are you going to keep it!?”) and surprisingly versatile.

Lovehoney Ultimate Sex Position Enhancer Wedge Set

This set consists of two pieces, a wedge and a ramp, that can be used together or separately. Both are 24″ wide, with the ramp measuring 34″ in length and 12″ in height and the wedge measuring 14″ in length and 7″ in height. Again: I did not fully grasp how huge these things are. Think very carefully before purchasing if you live in a tiny apartment or don’t have anywhere to store them!

Lovehoney sex position wedge and ramp combo

The cushions are made of a firm and supportive foam, and covered with a micro-velvet cover that is fluid proof, removeable, and washable. So if you get sex fluids or lube all over it, just whip the cover off and wash it on a normal cycle in the washing machine. The exterior is also soft and non-slippery. I wish they came in a colour other than grey, but at least it’s fairly unobtrusive and will blend in with your decor.

The set retails for £249.99 ($299.99 US.)

5 Ways to Use a Sex Position Wedge or Other Sex Position Aid

There are so many creative ways to use a sex position wedge, position aid, or other types of sex furniture. Here are just a few of my faves.

Try Different Sexual Positions with Your Wedge

This is perhaps the most obvious use for a piece of sex furniture such as a sex position wedge. It is, presumably, what they were originally designed for. But whether you’re having penis-in-vagina, anal, or strap-on sex, a wedge or ramp can make it easier and more comfortable to get into all kinds of sexual positions.

I hear they can be particularly good for missionary position vaginal sex, raising the receiver’s hips to allow for deeper penetration and more precise G-spot stimulation. They’re also great for legs-up positions and for cushioning the knees during receiver-on-top positions.

Make Oral Sex Easier

Do you love going down on your partner for hours but find that neck strain is an issue for you? Yeah, me too (I often use the edge of the bed for this reason, which can work well.) But a positioning aid can be a game changer in this area.

A sex position wedge under the receiver’s hips can make their genitals more accessible and make it more comfortable for the giver. That way, you can lick or suck for as long as you like in absolute comfort.

Get Comfy During Masturbation

Do you ever find it difficult to get comfortable in one position while you’re masturbating, particularly during a long session or if it takes you a while to get off? If so, try using your sex position wedge or ramp to experiment with different positions.

Personally, I find reclining on the ramp while using the wedge to prop up my upper back and neck supremely comfy. Your mileage may vary, of course.

Have Sex on the Floor… In Style

Sometimes you just want to get all primal and fuck on the floor… but then find the idea is better in theory than in practice. Carpet burn or hard wooden floors against your knees? No thanks. But get the ramp and wedge out, and suddenly you’ve got a ready made sex couch wherever you want to put it!

Use It as a Toy Mount

If you enjoy grinding toys, a sex position wedge can make an ideal toy mount. I find the wedge works particularly well with my Godemiche Grind Pads and Vibe Pads. Just fasten them to the wedge with the straps provided, position it underneath you, and you’re good to go.

Of course, you can also get creative with all kinds of sex toys. If you can find a way to hold it in place (I recommend those same straps or a length of rope,) the wedge also works brilliantly as a wand mount.

Bonus: Use It For Totally Unsexy Things

Mine is currently propping up a wet mattress in my guest room while it dries out. It’s… a long story.

Thanks to Lovehoney for supplying me with the product featured in this post to share with you all. All views, as always, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post. Product images: Lovehoney.

A woman's mouth seductively licking a heart-shaped lollipop. Text reads: Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Review

[Massage & Better Sex Products Review] Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex

Published on January 20, 2022March 22, 2026 by Amy

“No fiction, no acting, no judgements, no comparisons, no fear, no guilt nor shame”—so begins the Bijoux Indiscrets “Slow Sex” manifesto, which adorns the packaging of each product in the Slow Sex range of intimacy and better sex products, which I recently received to review. Definitely a message I can get behind!

Of course, sex is complicated. Fear, judgement and shame are very real for too many of us. I still experience them even as someone who makes a living by talking and writing openly about sex. It’s going to take far more than a range of products to fully tackle the deep, systemic issues that allow sexual shame to run rampant.

Even so, in a world where so many companies (even purportedly sex-positive ones) profit from shame and stigma, I’m glad to see an adult retailer encouraging people to move away from these destructive ideas and towards more authentic pleasure.

I received a selection of items from the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex range to try out.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Range: General Impressions

Each full size Slow Sex product comes beautifully presented. It comes in eco-friendly cardboard packaging featuring artistic close-ups of body parts and sometimes floral motifs.

Collection of Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex products

The Slow Sex range also doesn’t use any gendered marketing! Each product is described by referencing body parts and sex acts, without ascribing gender to them. It sounds like a small thing, but simply writing “the clitoris” instead of “her clitoris” or “use it on your partner” rather than “use it on your man” makes sexuality product marketing so much more inclusive.

With the exception of the oral sex strips, all the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex products I tried for this review have a strong and distinctive coconut aroma. I enjoy the smell and taste of coconut, so this was fine. But if you don’t, it’s something to be aware of. The scent is pretty noticeable and does tend to hang around after you’ve finished playing!

Everything in the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex range is cruelty-free and vegan.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Clitoral Balm Review

The Slow Sex product I was most excited to try was the clitoral balm. So naturally that’s where I went first.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Clitoral Balm comes in a little 10ml tube. This doesn’t seem like much, but you only need a tiny amount so this tube will last you a while.

Slow Sex Clitoral Balm contains a pretty long list of ingredients. Check it carefully before use if you’re allergic or sensitive to anything. There’s nothing in the ingredients that immediately strikes me as problematic. It does contain glycerin, but for an external-only product that you use in tiny amounts, I don’t really mind.

Honestly, I was underwhelmed by this product. I really wanted to love Bijoux Indiscrets’ clitoral balm, especially as I’ve reviewed and loved various similar products in the past, but it didn’t do much for me. I got a slight warming sensation, which was pleasant enough. But it didn’t really enhance sensitivity or give me any noticeable increase in pleasure. If you enjoy warming lubes, this is a slight step up from that, but it’s not much more. I’ll probably finish this tube, but I’m unlikely to buy it again.

Slow Sex Clitoral Balm retails for £15/$17. According to Bijoux, it’s compatible with all toy types and with latex barriers.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Finger Play Gel Review

The Slow Sex Finger Play Gel is basically a water-based lube designed for external use, particularly for hand sex (i.e. fingering or hand-jobs.) It contains just a few ingredients, of which the main ones are glycerin, water, and aloe vera leaf juice. Given the high glycerin concentration, I won’t be using this one internally and I’d advise that you don’t either.

The Finger Play Gel is a gorgeously thick lubricant. It lasts well, and a little goes a long way. Its thick texture and slipperiness make it perfect for hand sex. It’s easy to clean up with warm water and soap, though it does get sticky after a while. After use, my skin felt soft and moisturised, probably thanks to the aloe. It has a pleasant, subtly sweet taste.

Slow Sex Finger Play Gel retails for £15/$17. With just 30ml in a tube, it’s pretty pricey, but it should last you a while. Slow Sex Finger Play Gel is condom-compatible and suitable to use with all toy materials.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel comes in a little 10ml glass tube with a roller ball applicator. Simply apply a little to your nipples and then stimulate them as you normally would. The gel gives a subtle cooling, tingling sensation.

I found that the Nipple Play Gel slightly heightened sensitivity. When I applied it then went about my day, it made me more aware of my nipples—and particularly the feel of them against my clothing—than I’d normally be. Potentially fun if you want to heighten your arousal throughout the day. I found that one application lasted about an hour before the effect wore off.

It also increases sensitivity if you’re doing nipple play with hands, toys, or clamps. But this stuff really comes into its own when combined with oral nipple stimulation. The cool gel combined with a warm mouth makes everything feel much more intense. And since the gel has a sweet taste, it’s not unpleasant for the giver, either! (Assuming they like coconut.)

The Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel is water-based and does not contain any ingredients that are toxic or problematic for topical use. It’s easy to wash off when you’re done and leaves a gentle coconut scent on the skin.

Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel retails for £15/$17.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm

I was highly sceptical about the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm, as was Mr C&K, but we kept an open mind and decided to give it a fair chance for this review. It comes in a 10ml tube and I was expecting a liquid or thin gel, but it’s really more of a thick paste. I had to massage it between my fingers to get it to melt enough to use.

The packaging suggests applying Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm to your lips right before giving a blow job, or applying it directly to the penis. To get the full effect, we did both. I’m not sure most people would feel much if you only did the former.

First, the good: it definitely had an effect! My partner described it as a cooling sensation, which is likely caused by the menthol it contains. When you’re doing oral sex, the contrast between this cooling and the warmth of a mouth can be very interesting. He also reported that it did increase sensitivity slightly, and that it felt like sensation continued after the point of orgasm.

Then the less-good: Since Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm is an oil-based product, it’s not suitable for use with any latex barriers. And given that I wouldn’t want several of the ingredients in my vagina, it also means it’s not really possible to go from oral to vaginal sex without cleaning up in between. I really dislike the sensation of anything oily or sticky on my hands, so I had to wipe this off with a tissue immediately after applying it.

Also worth noting: the coconutty/minty smell and taste is VERY potent. It’s not unpleasant but if, like me, you like to experience the scent and taste of your partner’s body, this is definitely going to mask that.

Overall, a mixed experience but definitely more positive than we were expecting.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm retails for £15/$17.

Slow Sex Oil Based Full Body Massage Gel

The Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Full Body Massage Gel comes in an attractive glass bottle. With 50ml in the bottle, it definitely feels like one of the more substantial Slow Sex products. Slow Sex Massage Gel is oil-based and designed for all-over massage.

The packaging says you can use it “anywhere and everywhere” and the website describes it as genital-compatible, so if your massage turns erotic you’re good to go. Again, I’d recommend that you keep it external only. This massage gel is also suitable for use in water and is compatible with silicone sex toys and latex barriers.

This is probably my favourite product in the entire Slow Sex range. It is slick without being sticky, and does not leave any nasty residue behind. As a bonus, it leaves my skin feeling lovely and moisturised (and coconut scented!) It also lasts ages, as a little bit goes a long way once it’s on the skin.

I also like that Slow Sex Massage Gel comes in a pump bottle, which is much more user-friendly and less spillage-prone than the bottles massage oils usually come in.

Slow Sex Full Body Massage Gel retails for £18/$23.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Strips

If you’re asking “what on earth is an oral sex strip?”, well, so was I! Turns out they’re little paper-thin minty strips that are designed to go on your tongue and then melt while you’re performing oral sex. Like the Oral Sex Balm, the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Oral Sex Strips have a strong minty flavour (spearmint oil is one of the main ingredients.) They taste like something you’d use to brush your teeth or freshen your breath.

The sensation is… interesting. Much like the Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm, the main appeal of these strips is that they provide a contrast between the cooling sensation and the warmth of a mouth. However, they melt very quickly so the intense effect only lasts for maybe a minute or so. You do get some of the effect for a while afterwards as the mint lingers on your body, but you only get maybe a maximum of 5 minutes out of each strip.

These were fine, but I wasn’t blown away. They heightened sensitivity somewhat, but not to such an extent that they can make or break the experience. And to be honest, I’m going to repeat something I said above. If I’m going down on a lover, I want to taste them, not a mouthful of mint.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Strips retail for £6/$7 for a pack of 7.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Massage Candle

The Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Massage Candle comes in a little tin. It is made of body-safe, skin-friendly, and plant-based ingredients. The main ingredients include Prunus Amygdalus Dulcis oil, Cocos Nucifera (coconut) oil, and Shea butter.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex massage candle in its box

The Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Massage Candle melts quickly once you light it. I had plenty of usable oil within less than a minute after lighting. When I wanted to top up on oil mid-massage, it took no more than 10-15 seconds of the candle being lit to get the amount I needed. The box says to light it for 15 minutes but honestly, unless you want the entire thing melted, that’s not even close to necessary. Any oil you don’t use will just harden again as it cools, ready for next time.

Both my girlfriend and I loved the subtle coconut scent of this candle. It’s distinctive without being obtrusive or overpowering, and helps to create a lovely romantic, relaxed vibe as it permeates your space. Our skin felt wonderfully soft and moisturised after trading massages, and I still kept catching little whiffs of the scent hours later.

I often struggle with oily sensations for sensory reasons, but the Bijoux Indiscrets Massage Candle’s oil doesn’t leave my skin feeling unpleasantly greasy because it soaks in so well. An oil-based product that doesn’t have me running to wash it off my hands? That’s an achievement in itself.

Because there’s no wax in this candle, you can also use it as a moisturiser or as a fragrant addition to a bath if you like.

For the avoidance of doubt, this is not the same as a wax play candle. The melting point of the oils is much lower than that of paraffin or even soy wax, meaning that—even if you drip it from very close to your partner’s skin—you’ll get a pleasant warmth rather than an “ouch.”

The oil will start to harden again as it hits the body, but as soon as you run your hands over it, it’ll melt again and start to be absorbed into the skin as you massage. This means that, unlike with wax play, there’s little to no cleanup afterwards.

Due to the oils it contains, this massage candle is not compatible with latex or polyisoprene (though it’s okay with polyurethane.) This means you’ll need to be careful if you’re using barriers such as condoms or dams.

I also didn’t love the slight black residue you get on the inside of the tin and across the top of the candle when it’s been burning a few minutes. It doesn’t really get on your skin in any noticeable way, but it looks a bit yuck.

Depending on how generous you like to go with your oil, you’ll probably get 4-5 massages out of one candle. You could make it last a little longer by going lighter on your coverage, but more is definitely more here in my experience!

The Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Massage Candle retails for £18/$22.

Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me these Slow Sex products to test in exchange for an honest review.

Header image for post on CBD lube and how Dani Pepper O improved her sex life by Hattie Gladwell

[Guest Post] How CBD Lube Changed My Sex Life When My Body Forgot How to Orgasm by Hattie Gladwell

Published on June 24, 2021March 21, 2026 by Amy

Today’s guest post comes from Hattie Gladwell (she/her,) a freelance journalist whose work I have been reading and enjoying for a while. This piece on how Dani Pepper O CBD lube was a game-changer for her is her first post for C&K.

I loved this story because struggles with orgasm are so, so common, especially for cis women and other people with vulvas. The limited cultural narratives around sex can make us feel that we should all be having the most amazing sex, all the time and without ever talking about it.

Those same narratives push the idea that if we’re with the right partner, sex and orgasm will be easy and effortless, and that any use of additional tools (such as toys or lube) indicate failure. But as we can see from Hattie’s story, those things can be game changers in the best possible way.

Enjoy!

Amy x

Dani Pepper O: How This CBD Lube Changed My Sex Life When My Body Forgot How to Orgasm

I was in a sexless relationship for almost six years. It was difficult not just physically, but mentally, too. I wanted an intimate relationship, but sadly he wasn’t interested. Of course, I thought it was me. That something was wrong with me. I changed how I looked constantly to see if maybe he’d start loving me again, but the relationship had been dead for years.

When we first got together, I was able to orgasm easily and quickly. Multiple times. Having an orgasm wasn’t something I’d ever struggled with. I’d always had a good sex life before the relationship, and during the first year. But everything changed, and I don’t know why.

When we finally broke up and I walked away from the stale relationship, I met somebody new quickly. My family and friends warned me that it was too early, that I needed to heal. But I had already done my healing over the last six months of the relationship—because I knew it was coming to an end.

It was incredible to have sex with someone new. I mean, it was incredible just to have sex again. But, I couldn’t orgasm. It made me feel bad because I didn’t want my new partner to think it was him. My body just forgot what an orgasm felt like, and I couldn’t do it anymore.

When I tried to get there, it was even more impossible, because I was putting myself under too much pressure. It wasn’t until I decided to “re-discover myself” alone, learning what I liked and didn’t like, and what made me tick, that finally (with a little help from Dani Pepper O CBD lube) I came to climax again.

I decided to show my partner what I liked, and it worked—but it still took me up to an hour to get there, and sometimes I couldn’t at all. It was frustrating and I felt resentment towards my ex because I felt like I had no control over my body.

I could only come during mutual masturbation. Never during sex. Which is annoying, because I want to reach orgasm when my partner does. It feels more intimate. It makes me feel closer.

That’s where the Dani Pepper CBD lube comes in.

There are lots of CBD lubes out there, even though not that many people know about them. Of course, most people have heard about CBD and the common belief that it helps with chronic pain. But it can also help with sensitivity of the vulva, as it is absorbed through the tissues.

I was sceptical, but decided to try Dani Pepper’s “O” orgasm enhancer.

It comes in a bottle that looks just like regular, non-CBD lube, and is transparent. It’s made using organic and natural ingredients, and is water-based, meaning it’s okay to use with latex.

I sat down with my partner and talked about using the lube, and he agreed. He was just as adamant about getting my orgasms back on track as I was.

That night, we had sex. But before we did, we did what we usually do, and he tried to get me off. I decided to do it during mutual masturbation because I wanted my body to get used to the CBD lube in a way that I knew might just make me come.

He put the lube on me, and within 15 minutes I started to feel more relaxed. I wasn’t worried about climaxing. I decided that it didn’t matter if I didn’t orgasm this time—I could always try again.

But I did come. Quickly. Intensely. The most extraordinary orgasm I have ever had.

It lasted for at least 10 seconds, and afterwards, my legs were shaking and I couldn’t speak through breathlessness.

What I also loved is how calm I felt afterwards. I continued to feel this really relaxing sensation. Sex afterwards was amazing because, even though I can’t come through penetration still, it made us both feel accomplished. Knowing I’d “got there” meant there were no frustrated vibes after having sex—or masturbating for an hour.

I always use the Dani Pepper O lube every time we have sex now. It’s my go-to, and I of course have more than one bottle at a time so that I can keep myself stocked up.

CBD lube has been a game-changer for me. Not just because of the incredibly intense orgasms, but because it has brought me closer to my partner sexually. I feel like our sex life is way more intimate now, and I never feel like I’m missing out. And I won’t ever again.

About the Author

Hattie Gladwell is a journalist and editor from Sussex. She is passionate about raising awareness of mental health issues, and mainly writes about sex, relationships, parenting and mental illness.

Product recommendation is the writer’s own and is not sponsored.

Header image for a review of Bliss Orgasm Balm

[Better Sex Products Review] Lovehoney Bliss Orgasm Balm

Published on May 7, 2020March 26, 2026 by Amy4 Comments

Pleasure can be far from simple. Some people find it difficult to orgasm, experience pain or discomfort during sex, or struggle to get aroused. There can be all kinds of reasons behind these challenges, from physical or mental health problems to relationship issues to sexual shame, and more. Sometimes there’s no discernible reason behind it. Some people experience difficulties sometimes but not all the time. And some find sex easy and enjoyable, but still want to experience even more pleasure. Whatever your story, there are lots of reasons you might want to try a pleasure enhancer like Lovehoney’s Bliss Balm, which I just received to test and review.

Products like this are not a substitute for professional advice or support if you’re having sexual difficulties. However, they can be one tool in your toolbox for enhancing arousal, experiencing more pleasure, and enjoying your body more completely.

What is Lovehoney Bliss Balm?

Bliss by Lovehoney is a topical pleasure balm designed to increase sensitivity when applied to the clitoris and vulva. Bliss is infused with peppermint, menthol, and essential oils. As natural vasodilators, menthol and mint encourage blood flow to the area, heightening sensitivity. They also produce a cooling, tingling sensation which some people find enjoyable.

It comes in a small, heart-shaped tin. The balm itself is white in colour and has a creamy consistency that melts with the warmth of your fingers.

Is Bliss Balm Body-Safe?

To answer this question, I took a closer look at the ingredients of Lovehoney Bliss Balm.

Argania Spinosa (Argan) Kernel Oil: A natural oil commonly used in cosmetics, make-up and skincare products. It has been shown to have beneficial properties for the skin and is considered safe.
Hydrogenated Olive Oil (and) Olea Europaea (Olive) Fruit Oil: We all know olive oil has health benefits when used in food, but it is also a common ingredient in skincare and cosmetics. SpecialChem reports that it is safe for topical use in concentrations up to 5%.
Hydrogenated Jojoba was: Jojoba oil and jojoba wax were investigated by the International Journal of Toxicology and proven safe for cosmetic use. (Warning: link contains mentions of animal testing.)
Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea Butter): A common natural ingredient in skincare and cosmetic products. The Cosmetic Ingredients Review investigated shea butter and found it to be safe.
Menthol: Menthol is prized for its distinctive minty fragrance and the cooling sensation it creates on the skin. The FDA has found it to be safe for these purposes and also in food.
Tocopherol: Tocopherol is a form of Vitamin E, typically derived from vegetable oils. The Cosmetic Ingredient Review and International Journal of Toxicology concluded that it is safe for topical use.
Mentha Piperita (Peppermint) Oil: An essential oil derived from the peppermint plant, the Cosmetic Ingredient Review determined that peppermint oil is safe as long as the concentration of the compound pulegone does not exceed 1%.

Unless you’re allergic or sensitive to any of the ingredients, Lovehoney Bliss Balm is perfectly safe to use. Since Bliss is an oil-based product, don’t use it with condoms or other barriers—oils can degrade the materials, reducing their effectiveness and increasing the risk of a breakage.

Lovehoney Bliss is only suitable for external use. Getting a little bit in your vagina or butt probably won’t do you any harm, but don’t put it up there deliberately. Wash it off your hands before doing any penetrative play.

Lovehoney Bliss Review: In Use

You may look at this tiny tin of Bliss clitoral balm and think it seems like a tiny amount for the money. But you only need a little bit to enjoy the effects. One tin of this stuff actually lasts me several months.

To start using Bliss pleasure balm, simply dab a small amount onto your fingers and massage into your vulva clitoral area. You can do this when you’re already aroused and looking to intensify pleasure or orgasm, or you can do it in advance to get blood flowing and nerves tingling as a precursor to sex or masturbation. If you like, you can also use Bliss Balm alongside your usual water-based lube.

If you’ve ever used “cooling” or “tingling” lube (or put toothpaste on your genital area, which is something I don’t recommend but that a lot of people do), you’ll recognise this as a similar sensation. I find that Lovehoney Bliss Balm starts out feeling cool and tingly, and then the initial intensity fades into a higher than usual level of clitoral sensitivity.

I find that Bliss Balm helps to make clitoral touch more enjoyable and make my orgasms stronger. It can also sometimes make it easier to get there on days when I’m less sensitive.

The sensation this balm provides can be pretty intense, so start off with less than you think you’ll need. If you want a more intense sensation or aren’t getting the desired effect, you can always add more. I find it lasts well, but if you’re playing for a while then you may need to top it up.

A bonus pro tip: if your partner is okay with the taste of mint, apply a little Bliss balm to your vulva before they go down on you.

Does Clitoral Pleasure Balm Like Lovehoney Bliss Work?

This is a difficult question to answer, because the true but possibly unhelpful answers are “it depends on your body” and “it depends on what we mean by ‘work'”.

Is it a miracle cure? No.

If you struggle to orgasm, don’t expect a pleasure balm to be a cure-all. Orgasm is, unfortunately, much more complicated than that and many sexual challenges are far more complex than a single product can solve. There are many things you can try and interventions that might be able to help you. Depending on your particular issue and context, you may need to work on overcoming shame, strengthening communication with your partner(s), or learning more about your sexual desires. In some situations, medical attention or psychosexual therapy may be appropriate.

However, for many people, the ingredients in pleasure enhancers like Lovehoney Bliss work by heightening sensitivity, adding a new sensation, and boosting arousal both prior to and during sex. I also suspect there may be a placebo affect at play for some people. If you expect the balm to help, you might feel more relaxed and less stressed, which ultimately makes it easier to enjoy sex or reach orgasm.

It’s not a magic bullet for pleasure or orgasm challenges, but one potential supportive add-on. And, of course, it’s damn good fun to use even if you don’t have any difficulties you’re trying to overcome.

Verdict

I’m a convert. I love using Lovehoney Bliss Balm for the enhanced sensitivity it offers, the fun tingly sensations it provides, and the extra helping hand it gives me in enjoying sex on low-sensitivity days.

At just £9.99 from Lovehoney UK or $12.99 from Lovehoney US for a 20g tin (which will last you ages) it’s a steal. Throw some in your next Lovehoney order!

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me a sample of Bliss Balm to review. All views are, as always, mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.