[Toy Review] We-Vibe Chorus Pro

When I learned that a new version of the We-Vibe Chorus was dropping, this time named the We-Vibe Chorus Pro, my first thought was “already!?” Surely it hasn’t been that long since the first iteration of the Chorus hit the market. However, apparently it’s been well over five years! Time is fake. That can mean only one thing: it’s time for a review of the newly released We-Vibe Chorus Pro.

What is the We-Vibe Chorus Pro?

The Pro is a new, updated version of the original We-Vibe Chorus. It’s the same basic design, and follows the theme of We-Vibe’s classic C-shaped “wear during intercourse” vibrators.

We-Vibe Chorus Pro & remote in purple

It’s designed to offer additional clitoral stimulation to the wearer during penetrative sex, while also stimulating the inside of their vagina and (if applicable) their partner’s penis with vibrations. It comes with a “Haptic Squeeze Remote” (more on that below) and can also be controlled via the We-Vibe app.

The Chorus Pro is made of body-safe silicone and available in 3 colourways: Cosmic Purple, Satin Black, and Electric Pink. Its internal arm measures ???

The Chorus Pro is rechargeable, with a 2 hour charge giving around 90 minutes of running time. Its sturdy black plastic storage case is also a USB charging case. It is also IPX7 waterproof, i.e. submersible. It’s unclear whether the remote is waterproof, though; the Chorus Original’s remote was only splashproof so the same may be true here.

Chorus vs Chorus Pro: What’s New?

The We-Vibe Chorus Pro offers many of the same features as the previous iteration of this product, including the adjustable hinged design, squeezable remote, app control options, and touch sensors on the main body of the toy. However, it also offers a number of upgrades. Most notably:

Three Motors and Fusion Wave Stimulation

While the original Chorus had two motors, the Chorus Pro has three. There are two motors in the external clitoral stimulator, and one in the insertable arm. This enables something We-Vibe calls “Fusion Wave Technology”, which sounds like something out of Star Trek but actually seems to just mean that the two clitoral motor synchronise to offer rhythmic, rolling and flowing “wave-like” vibrations.

“Haptic Squeeze” Remote

Close up of We-Vibe Chorus Pro remote in my hand, demonstrating for review

Though the original Chorus had a squeeze-sensitive remote, the Chorus Pro has had a significant upgrade in this regard. The word “haptic” just means something relating to the sense of touch. The new Chorus remote is designed to adjust vibration strength with the intensity of the squeeze, with the remote vibrating at the same strength as the toy to provide immediate feedback to the person holding it.

Is this a good thing? Debatable. We’ll get into this in more detail shortly.

We-Vibe Chorus Pro Review: Pros

Something I appreciate about We-Vibe is that, unlike some toy manufacturers, they don’t constantly churn out new products at an alarmingly fast rate. Instead, they seem to take their time and put real thought into their designs. As a result, the We-Vibe Chorus Pro has a lot to recommend it.

Let’s get into what I like about this product.

  • It’s so pretty! The material sort of shimmers.
  • The hinged design allows you to adjust the fit according to your body.
  • The charging case is convenient for both travel and storage. For an ADHDer like me, it also makes me less likely to lose either the toy or the remote.
  • With 7 classic We-Vibe patterns and 3 new “Fusion Wave” patterns built in, as well as constant vibrations and the ability to change the intensity level of any pattern using the remote, the user experience is pretty versatile even before you get the app involved.
  • The remote is highly responsive, both in squeeze mode and when just using the buttons.
  • The squishy design also makes the motor super comfortable to hold and use.
Underside of We-Vibe Chorus Pro with hinge open to show textured surface

  • I love the texturing on the underside of the external arm. It’s pretty subtle but it adds a little extra stimulation. I can’t personally feel the texturing on the internal arm when I’m wearing it, but other users’ experience may differ.
  • The addition of a third motor really does make a difference in use. While I think calling it “Fusion Wave” is a stretch, the synchronised external motors deliver more intense clitoral and all-over vulva stimulation than a single motor can manage on its own.
  • The motors! We-Vibe always uses excellent strong and rumbly motors in its toys, and this one is no exception.

Cons

There are also a few things about the We-Vibe Chorus Pro I found frustrating. Namely:

  • While the original Chorus had two adjustable hinges for a better fit, the Chorus Pro appears to only have one. It’s a shame to lose the extra adjustability the additional hinge offered.
  • There doesn’t seem to be a way to control the motors separately using the toy itself or the remote. If you want to do this, you’ll need the app. As someone who doesn’t like internal vibrations, this is a pretty big downside for me personally.
  • The insertable section isn’t long enough (or curved enough) to get anywhere near my G-spot. Instead of providing additional pleasure, it just sort of sits there as an anchor to hold the toy in place (sort of; see below.)
  • Overall, as in the original We-Vibe Chorus, I found the “Touch Sense” modes too unpredictable and unreliable to be pleasurable. It’s an interesting concept, but the reality is mostly just annoying.
  • I wish there were better controls on the toy itself. The single button interface is very limiting and basically means this toy is only worthwhile with either the remote or the app.
  • Like virtually all toys of this type, it doesn’t really stay in place without a helping hand unless you’re staying very still (and sometimes not even then.) If you’re moving or doing any kind of thrusting, you pretty much have to hold it in position with your hand to stop it slipping around all over the place.

Other Things to Be Aware Of

We-Vibe Chorus Pro inside its black plastic charging case

I have really mixed feelings about the haptic feedback of the squeeze remote. On the one hand, having the feedback could be useful if you’re using the toy on a partner and want to get a sense of the intensity of the stimulation for them. On the other hand, having your hand repeatedly vibrated is really annoying and uncomfortable. Ultimately, each user will need to decide if this bothers them (and, if it does, if they like the feature enough to put up with it.)

I also find that, the longer I do this job, the less I care about a toy’s app features. I can count on one hand the times I’ve used an app to control a toy outside of an “I’m testing this product so I can review it” session. I don’t really want to be on my phone when I’m trying to masturbate or have sex, I don’t use toys in public because they’re nowhere near as discreet as some people seem to think they are, and I’ve found ways to have long-distance sex that work better for me personally.

That said, We-Vibe’s app is one of the better options for app-controlled toys out there, and it offers a number of intriguing additional options including:

  • Handing control over to a partner anywhere in the world with an internet connection
  • Chatting and video-calling with a partner while they control the toy
  • As mentioned above, controlling the motors separately
  • Activating the three available “Touch Sense” modes
  • More finely controlling the intensity of the vibrations
  • Touch mode, in which you can control the toy with the swipe of a finger
  • Creating your own vibration patterns
  • Creating “playlists” of your favourite patterns

We-Vibe Chorus Pro Review: Verdict

Overall, I think the We-Vibe Chorus Pro is an excellent product. It improves on the original in a couple of fun ways, while maintaining We-Vibe’s reputation for good motors and thoughtful design. Despite a few frustrations, I’m still happy to recommend it.

The Chorus Pro retails for £189/$229 and is available from Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney US, Shevibe, Good Vibes, Babeland, or directly from We-Vibe Europe and North America.

I received the We-Vibe Chorus Pro in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as always, are mine.

[Toy Review] UEROS Remote Control Wearable Vibrator with Detachable Egg Set

Following my UEROS sex machine review a while back, I received another UEROS product to try. This time, we’re looking at the wearable vibe set, or the “UEROS Remote Control Wearable Vibrator with Detachable Egg Set,” to give it its full name.

What is the UEROS Wearable Vibe Set?

At first glance, the UEROS wearable vibrator set is an interesting concept. It contains four main pieces:

  • A thin, vaguely saddle-shaped vibrator that sits against the pubis with a protruding clitoral stimulator
  • A detachable egg vibrator that fits inside the vagina
  • A harness/crotchless panty thing with straps to hold the vibrator against the body
  • A remote control

The main intended use for the UEROS vibe set is for it to be wearable during (penetrative) partnered sex. In case you’re struggling to visualise how it’s intended to work, here’s a handy diagram provided by UEROS:

UEROS wearable vibe set official product photo showing a woman wearing the toy over a set of black lingerie

The vibrator and egg are made of body-safe silicone (with plastic accents on the former.) The harness is made of polyester and spandex.

This USB rechargeable toy offers 1 hour of runtime for a 2 hour charge. It is also IPX6 waterproof, i.e. splashproof but not submersible.

UEROS Wearable Vibe Set: The Good

Let’s start with the positive things I can say about this product.

UEROS wearable vibe attached to included panties

First, I do think the concept is neat. It’s kind of a combination of insertable wearable vibrators (such as the various iterations of We-Vibe’s classic shape) and those “vibrating knickers” that are still inexplicably a thing even though they almost universally suck.

The slim design is thoughtful and means the toy is less obtrusive and “in the way” if you’re using it during partnered sex. Design-wise, I also like the long tail on the egg. This sidesteps the issue of dual-stimulation toys often being designed for one specific type of genitals, making it more likely to fit comfortably with a range of bodies.

The detachable design of the egg vibrator makes this a more versatile product. You could also use the egg on its own as a non-vibrating, leave-in toy, if you like.

The six straps on the harness/panties hold the vibrator in place very well. Unlikely many “wear during intercourse” toys, it stays securely in position. A rare instance of a supposedly hands-free toy that’s actually suitable for hands-free use.

I like that, when you’re using the external vibrator and the egg together, you can control them completely separately. There’s one button for each part on both the main toy and the remote control. Each has five settings: three constant speeds and two patterns.

UEROS wearable vibrator with egg part attached

The silicone is soft and silky. Aesthetically, it’s also kind of fun. The metallic accents give the whole thing a vaguely sci-fi/techno feel.

UEROS Wearable Vibe Set: The Bad

Buckle in, because once I started actually trying this product, things went sideways fast.

The placement of the buttons on the top side of the toy seems fine initially, but quickly reveals a significant problem. If you’re having penetrative sex in a face-to-face position such as missionary, the chances of the toy getting smushed between bodies and accidentally turned off are very high.

I also want to know why the clitoral stimulator is squishy. This makes the already-poor vibration transmission even worse and makes it hard to get any significant, consistent pressure.

Underside of UEROS wearable vibrator showing squishy clitoral stimulator

My biggest complaint about this toy, though? The sizing of the included harness/panty, without which the main function of the toy is unusable. UEROS claims this item is size inclusive, which is laughably untrue. It is adjustable, but only accommodates waist sizes of ~28″ to ~38″. Apparently it was “rigorously tested on diverse body types”, which means on women (presumably cis) between 5’3″ and 5’8″ and between 60 and 70kg. That’s not a diverse range of body types. That’s a difference of maybe two or three dress sizes, if that.

Crotchless panties/harness that comes with UEROS wearable vibrator set

If you’re going to design a toy that’s exclusively for thin people… well, first of all, don’t. But if you must, at least be honest about it. Claiming a demonstrably exclusionary product is size-inclusive doesn’t make it so.

Finally, the UEROS wearable vibe’s vibrations are nothing short of useless. They’re as weak and buzzy as they come. There is zero possibility of this toy ever giving me an orgasm, in any configuration. And believe me, I’ve tried.

Verdict

This is a product that is significantly better in theory than in practice. I don’t know if corners were cut to bring it to market faster or if it just wasn’t tested sufficiently, but there’s so much wrong with the execution of what is objectively a good idea.

The UEROS wearable vibe set could have been a great product. Unfortunately, in its current state, it just isn’t.

This set retails for $99.

Thanks to UEROS for sending me this product to review. All views are, as always, mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Toy Review] Womanizer Enhance

Something that bugs me more than it probably should? When people refer to toys that don’t vibrate as “vibrators.” This term is often erroneously applied to clitoral suction toys, which stimulate the clitoris via air pulses instead of traditional vibrations. However, what if a clitoral suction toy was also a vibrator? That’s the basic premise of the Womanizer Enhance, which I recently received to review.

Womanizer Enhance: Details

Womanizer Enhance clitoral suction toy

The concept of combining clitoral suction with vibrations has been done before. One of the earliest iterations was the surprisingly-good-in-its-day (and now defunct) Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration. However—spoiler alert for the rest of this review!—I think the Womanizer Enhance is probably the best iteration of this concept I’ve seen so far.

The Womanizer Enhance is a clitoral suction toy in the classic tapering Womanizer shape similar to products such as the Classic, Premium, and Next. However, this one has two important differences:

  • There’s no removable nozzle; it’s all one unit
  • The toy offers not only suction-based stimulation, but vibrations as well

The Womanizer Enhance is available in three colours: black, pink, and lilac (my personal favourite.) It is made of body-safe silicone with a plastic base. It’s USB rechargeable, taking around 90 minutes to charge and offering up to 2 hours of runtime depending on intensity. The Enhance is also IPX7 waterproof, allowing for full submersion.

Womanizer Enhance Review: Greater Than the Sum of Its Parts

Womanizer claims that “100% of testers had an orgasm!” which, I admit, made me roll my eyes a bit. It’s not quite one of those “orgasm guaranteed!” claims that make me want to scream, but it’s at least skirting around the edges of being one.

However, I’ll give them this: the Womanizer Enhance really is an excellent product.

Womanizer Enhance clitoral suction toy in my hand

It offers 10 vibration speeds, 10 suction intensity levels, and 10 vibration patterns. This means that, all-in, there are over 1000 possible combinations to play with. Of course, if you’re anything like me, you’ll find one to maybe five settings you like and stick with those. But, given the versatility, there’s a decent chance of finding at least a few that hit the spot for you.

Suction-wise, the Womanizer Enhance is pretty similar to the many other clitoral suction toys in the Womanizer range. The 10 speeds are well graded, offering a noticeable but not too extreme jump between settings as you move up through them. The suction sensation is intense, yet also smooth and sensual.

In terms of vibrations, I was pleasantly surprised to find them far more rumbly than I was expecting. They’re not the strongest, even at the highest levels, but they’re still pretty good. Overall, though, the beauty of this toy is that it’s greater than the sum of its parts. The suction is good, the vibrations are fine, but together is where the magic really happens.

Compared to other suction-only toys I’ve reviewed, I felt as though the orgasm from the Womanizer Enhance encompassed my whole vulva rather than being concentrated in my clitoris.

Back review of Womanizer Enhance with buttons

Other Things I Liked Include:

  • The five button interface makes the toy easy and intuitive to use. There are two buttons to control the vibrations, two to control the suction, and one to change the pattern. Simple to learn, relatively easy to use by feel, and sensibly positioned on the back of the toy’s handle.
  • The ability to control the suction and vibrations completely separately means that no matter what combination of stimulation you’re in the mood for, you can fine-tune your experience accordingly.
  • It fits comfortably in my hand, with the tapered handle providing ergonomic comfort in use.

Any Downsides?

On my first try with the Womanizer Enhance, I found the positioning slightly awkward. Due to the nozzle being integrated with the main body of the toy, it doesn’t stick out as far from the body as the nozzles on other, similar products. This made it a little challenging to find a position that was both effective and comfortable to hold for a while.

The above positioning issue also makes it challenging to use a penetrative toy such as a dildo at the same time. Not impossible, but… logistically complex. Something to bear in mind if you prefer to use multiple toys together.

Another reason I don’t love the lack of a removable nozzle is that it makes both cleaning the toy and sharing it with a partner more of a faff.

The Womanizer Enhance can also be pretty loud at the higher levels, particularly if you have the suction and vibrations going at the same time.

Womanizer Enhance Review: Verdict

Whether the Enhance is the best Womanizer product yet will be a matter of opinion and personal preference. But for me at least, it’s definitely in the top five and possibly the top three. Yes, the vibrations really do enhance (see what I did there?) the experience that much.

I love this toy.

The Womanizer Enhance retails for around £149/$169 and is available from retailers including Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney US, Shevibe, Good Vibes, Babeland, and of course directly from Womanizer.

I received the Womanizer Enhance in exchange for an honest review. All writing and views are my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Toy Review] Mr Hankey’s Toys Big Pop

Something regular readers will know about me is that I like my toys bright, colourful, sparkly, in unusual aesthetics, and girly as hell. This is one reason I don’t often gravitate towards strictly realistic dildos. However, one of the things I love about Mr Hankey’s Toys is that all their various designs, from the realistic to the fantastical, can be customised from a range of 24 colours. You’ll understand, then, why I felt compelled to request the Big Pop giant realistic dildo in the brightest shade of pink they have for this review.

What is the Mr Hankey’s Toys Big Pop?

Mr Hankey's Big Pop realistic giant dildo in bubblegum pink

The Big Pop by Mr Hankey’s Toys is a realistic dildo available in four giant sizes. Even the size Small measures 10″ in total length and 2.2″ in diameter at the widest point. The largest size, the 4XL, is 17.25″ in length and 4.29″ in diameter at the widest point. I requested the Big Pop dildo in the second size up, which is 12″ in length and has a head diameter of 2.86″, for this review.

The Big Pop is available in four firmness levels. I requested the 75% soft, the second softest option, to offset the sheer size of the thing! If you prefer greater intensity, select the medium firm or extra firm density. If you want to ease into using oversized toys more gently, consider one of the two softer options. Extras such as a metallic effect and vac-u-lock hole for use with a fucking machine are also available.

Mr Hankey's Big Pop realistic giant dildo in bubblegum pink

The design of the Big Pop is based on a circumcised penis with an ultra-pronounced head. The name comes from the “popping” feeling that you can get when you thrust with a toy of this shape. It also has a skin-like textured shaft, lifelike ridge, realistic balls, and a gentle curve.

Like all Mr Hankey’s Toys, this dildo is made of body-safe silicone.

Big Pop Giant Realistic Dildo Review: What I Like About This Toy

Again, I think one of the biggest selling points of Mr Hankey’s Toys is the customisation options they offer. Flesh-coloured realistic dildos aren’t really my jam, but this one makes me smile every time I look at it. It’s such a brilliant and ridiculous shade of bubblegum pink juxtaposed with the realistic design.

The first thing to know about the Big Pop is that it really is absolutely fucking huge. Seriously, look at the specs and visualise what 10″ or 12″ or 17″ actually looks like before you buy. Over the years, I’ve been asked about giant realistic dildos in body-safe materials more times than I can count. For that reason alone I’m glad this toy and Hankey’s range of other realistic dildos exist.

As always, Mr Hankey’s Toys’ attention to detail is excellent. From the skin texturing and veins to the lifelike balls, it’s clear care has been taken to make this dildo as realistic as possible.

This toy really is about the head. Its size, shape, realistic detail, and pronounced design are what most users will buy this dildo for. If you want a dildo that offers a feeling of fullness alongside some seriously intense and targeted G-spot or prostate stimulation, the Big Pop is the one for you.

Big Pop dildo head close-up

This is also clearly a dildo made with thrusting in mind (though, as we’ll see in the next section, this isn’t the only way to enjoy it.) As it slides in and out, the ridge of the head stimulates the sensitive nerve-endings around the vaginal or anal opening.

The 75% soft I requested for this review was the perfect density for the Big Pop dildo, in my view. It’s not so soft that the dildo becomes difficult to insert. But it is soft enough to dial down the intensity a little.

Though it’s a pretty long toy, particular at the larger sizes, the Big Pop giant realistic dildo is a dream toy for serious girth lovers. You don’t need to use the entire shaft if you don’t want to; in fact, you could literally just use the head and the first inch or two if that’s what works best for you. For those who enjoy girthy insertables and a feeling of stretch, the Big Pop allows you to explore this with either deep or shallow penetration.

Things to Be Aware Of

As with all the very large dildos I’ve reviewed, the Big Pop is not a “slip it in and get off quickly” dildo. Using a toy of this size requires preparation, warm-up, patience, and even more lube than you think you’ll need. All of this applies doubly if you’re considering using this toy anally. Don’t put pressure on yourself to take the entire thing side you, now or ever. Listen to your body, do what feels good, and stop straight away if anything hurts.

Huge realistic pink dildo

The key selling point of the Big Pop realistic dildo is that ultra-pronounced giant head. However, some people may find this uncomfortable, particularly if you’ve been used to smoother toys. Again, take your time. If you find thrusting with this toy painful or uncomfortable, try gently wiggling it, rotating it, or even just putting it in and then keeping it still. Many people find consistent pressure against their G-spot or prostate more pleasurable than repeated pounding.

Due to the size and slight curve, this toy also isn’t great for hands-free use. Its weight and top-heavy design means it’s hard to get it to stand up reliably on its own. This isn’t an issue for me as I don’t tend to use toys that way. But if you like to ride your toys in a hands-free position it’s something to be aware of.

Mr Hankey’s Toys Big Pop Dildo Review: Verdict

Far from being yet another generic realistic dildo, the Mr Hankey’s Big Pop is clear about the need it’s filling and does so damn well. For people who want an oversized toy that offers intense stimulation to both the sensitive vaginal/anal opening and the G-spot/prostate, it’s an ideal option. The detailing and customisation options elevate it to a premium product that’s worth the price.

The Big Pop dildo retails at prices starting from $129.95 for the smallest size. Larger sizes are of course more expensive, and customisations and add-ons also affect the final price.

Thanks to Mr Hankey’s Toys for sponsoring this Big Pop dildo review. All views and writing are, as always, my own.

Why Do People Like Ultra Realistic Dildos? (And 4 Fun Ways to Play With Them)

In the years (9 of them! Happy anniversary, C&K!) that I’ve been writing about sex and reviewing sex toys, I’ve learned a lot about both my own preferences and those of others. When it comes to dildos, the ones I most gravitate towards tend to be colourful, sparkly, or otherwise non-realistic. However, the good folks at Epic Dildos invited me to write about ultra and realistic dildos for them, so I’ve been taking some time to think about why so many people enjoy these hyper lifelike toys and some of the fun ways to use them.

Using Ultra Realistic Dildos to Achieve a Lifelike Sensation

I do not believe that sex toys are, or ever can be, replacements for human partners. The term “battery-operated boyfriend” can get in the bin. And let’s not even talk about those vibrators with faces and personalities that the incredible Epiphora reviewed all the way back in 2015.

So no, a dildo cannot replace a penis-owning human. However, if you want to enjoy the feeling of having sex with a person with a bio-cock and don’t have a suitable partner available (or are just in the mood for some solo sex), a realistic dildo is a great option. It’s not entirely identical, of course, but a good realistic toy can be damn close in terms of physical sensation.

Dual-density materials, such as the Flexiskin™ liquid silicone Epic Dildos uses for their hyper realistic dildo range, combine a soft and malleable outer layer with a firm inner core to mimic an erect penis.

Fulfilling Fantasies with Ultra Realistic Dildos

Like all sex toys, dildos can be enjoyed as much alone or with a partner. One of the most surprisingly common uses I hear about for ultra realistic dildos? Fulfilling threesome or group sex fantasies.

Threesomes are consistently cited in various surveys and studies as one of the most common sexual fantasies. However, choosing to have one in real life is a big decision and not to be taken lightly. When done right, they can be amazing. However, if they’re done badly, they’re also ripe for coercion (if one party in a relationship is less keen than the other), can spike jealousy and insecurity, and can damage or destroy relationships.

If you fantasise about threesomes or group sex but aren’t sure if you’d want to do it for real, using an ultra realistic dildo can allow you and your partner to bring the fantasy to life without the risk. You won’t get the emotional or psychological impact of having a third person involved, but you can simulate some of the physical sensations, do some amazing dirty talk, and spin a scene or story together using toys.

Enjoying Dicks of Different Shapes and Sizes

If you’re monogamous, prefer to have sex with only a single partner at a time, or don’t want to have any sexual partners (at the moment or ever), ultra realistic dildos offer a fun and safe way to enjoy sexual variety. Just as all human cocks are different, so are all the varieties of realistic dildos on the market.

Want to experience bigger or smaller, curved or straight, semi-soft or ultra-firm? The amazing range of realistic dildos out there has got you covered. As a bonus, some offer additional features you can’t get with a bio-cock, such as vibrations.

Ultra Realistic Dildos as a Gender-Affirming Choice

My girlfriend Em and I have started referring to my choice of dildos as “gender-affirming.” I’m a femme who is also primarily submissive, and choosing toys that feel like “me” has felt increasingly important as I explore my role as a strap-on top.

Just as sparkly, colourful dildos feel gender-affirming for me, ultra realistic dildos can feel the same way for other folks. Trans men, transmasculine people, and cis men who use dildos or strap-ons are just some of the people who might find that an ultra realistic dildo aligns best with their gender identity and presentation.

Practicing Sexual Skills

None of us get into our first sexual relationship magically knowing how to have good sex. And none of us get into any sexual relationship magically knowing how to have good sex with that person specifically. Sex is a set of skills, from the interpersonal (communicating your desires, paying attention to verbal and non-verbal cues) to the physical. These skills can be learned, honed, and relearned throughout your sexual life.

If you want to learn or practice a specific sexual skill, from giving a certain type of blowjob your partner loves to riding a dick in a particular position, using a realistic dildo is one great and low-pressure way to do that.

4 Ways to Play with Ultra Realistic Dildos

Whether you’ve just got your first realistic dildo or are an aficionado looking for new ways to play, here are a few suggestions you might not have thought about.

Strap It On

Strap-on sex is most often associated with lesbian and sapphic sex, but anyone can enjoy it. For strap-on sex, look for dildos with a base that’s wide but not too deep. Think flat base or suction cup dildos rather than those with balls.

Go Hands-Free

Some ultra realistic dildos come with suction cups, allowing you to affix them to a wall, floor, or other flat surface. This gives you an opportunity to play hands-free, using your hands to do other things to your or your partner’s body.

Pair Your Hyper Realistic Dildo with Another Toy

Use your dildo internally while you (or your partner) hold a bullet vibrator against your clitoris. Hold a wand vibrator against the base of your dildo for deep, internal rumbles, Insert your dildo anally (if it has a flared base) then use a stroker to stimulate your penis. Get creative and try out different combinations.

Put On a Show

If you enjoy exhibitionism and voyeurism, putting on a sexy show for your partner can be a hot shared experience. Invite them to watch while you touch, tease, or fuck yourself with your toy. Whether you ultimately let them join in or just drive them wild with the visuals? That’s up to you.

Thanks to Epic Dildos and their hyper realistic range for sponsoring this post! All views and writing, as always, are mine.

[Toy Review] Chalovelo Thrum Triple Stimulation Rabbit Vibrator

Did you know that the first rabbit vibrator hit the shelves way back in 1984? Designed by Vibratex (of Magic Wand fame), it was called the “Rabbit Pearl” and featured rotating beads inside the shaft for added stimulation. Those of you who are my age or older might remember when a 1998 episode of Sex and the City, titled “The Turtle and the Hare,” featured that very same toy. While that episode did not age well (the concept of “vibrator addiction” needs to die), it cemented the rabbit vibrator’s enduring popularity. Why am I banging on about this now? Well, because I recently received the Chalovelo Thrum, a modern triple stimulation vibrator that returns to that classic “beads in the shaft” rabbit design of old.

Chalovelo Thrum Triple Stimulation Rabbit Vibrator

Chalovelo pale pink rabbit vibrator with beaded shaft

The Chalovelo Thrum is a rabbit vibrator measuring 9.7″ in length and 1.3″ in diameter at the widest insertable point. Its design is the classic rabbit shape, with a rigid insertable shaft with a slightly bulbous head, and a flexible clitoral stimulator. At the end of the clitoral stimulator there’s a little ball and, as previously mentioned, the shaft contains a series of rotating beads.

The internal stimulator wiggles back and forth in a “come hither” motion, the beads expand and contract, and the clitoral stimulator vibrates.

Chalovelo triple stimulation rabbit vibrator

The Thrum is a triple stimulation vibrator designed to stimulate the G-spot, clitoris, and A-spot simultaneously. For those who aren’t aware, the A-spot refers to the anterior fornix, an erogenous zone located deep inside the vagina close to the cervix. I’ll be honest, I’m not really a deep penetration gal and I prefer things to stay far away from my cervix. However, some people find this area intensely pleasurable to stimulate. To learn more about the often-overlooked A-spot, check out this informative piece by Kate Sloan.

The Chalovelo Thrum is made of body-safe pale pink silicone. It is rechargeable via the included magnetic cable, and IPX-6 water resistant (non-submersible.) It comes with a 5 year manufacturer’s warranty.

Chalovelo Thrum: Pros

Let’s start by looking at the things I liked about the Chalovelo Thrum triple stimulation rabbit vibrator.

I like the curved tip of the insertable shaft, which allows for targeted G-spot (or A-spot, if that’s your thing) stimulation. Those who prefer a more rigid toy will enjoy the firmness of the Thrum’s shaft. The come-hither motion of the internal stimulator is also excellent. Its short, rapid movements mimic the sensation of fingers against the G-spot.

Chalovelo triple stimulation rabbit vibrator with beaded shaft

I surprised myself with how much I enjoyed the feel of the beads in the shaft. This design seems to have fallen out of fashion in recent years and I’ve never actually tried a beaded rabbit before. I thought the sensation might be uncomfortable but, with some warmup and plenty of lube, it was surprisingly pleasurable. When I inserted the toy only part-way, I particularly enjoyed the feeling of the beads around my sensitive vaginal opening.

The design of the clitoral stimulator is interesting. Though it lacks a lot in practice (see below), I like the idea of the ball tip.

Chalovelo rabbit vibrator buttons

I like that you can control the settings of each of the two arms independently. The two-button interface is quick to learn and simple to use. The handle sits comfortably in my hand and the buttons are intuitively placed for quick settings changes during use without losing your flow.

Chalovelo Thrum: Cons

My main complaint about the Chalovelo Thrum is a complaint I’ve made about so, so many double and triple stimulation vibrators over the years: it treats the clitoris as an afterthought.

Though I like the ball tip design of the clitoral stimulator, that’s about the only thing I like about it. This external shaft and the ball are both far too flexible. This makes it impossible to get any significant pressure, and as soon as I move the toy (or move against it), it just loses contact with my clit. The motor’s power isn’t bad, but it is extremely buzzy.

Chalovelo triple stimulation rabbit vibrator with beaded shaft

I thought it was a well-known fact by now that clitoral stimulation is essential for the vast majority of people with vulvas to reach orgasm. In a double or triple stimulation vibrator, the clit should be the main event, not a poorly-conceived add-on.

I also found the single-directional controls frustrating and, though the separate settings controls are good, I would have liked the option to have one motor switched on and the other completely off.

Finally, as with virtually all thrusting or “come hither” toys, the noise is enraging. It makes a sort of high-pitched squeak that is incredibly distracting and uncomfortable to a sound-sensitive person like me. I can’t really blame Chalovelo for this, to be fair – again, virtually all toys of this type make this sound and I think it’s unavoidable – but it still detracts from the overall user experience.

Thrum Triple Stimulation Rabbit Vibrator: Verdict

There are aspects of the Thrum triple stimulation rabbit vibrator that I really like, and aspects that I find incredibly frustrating. The internal stimulation portion of this toy, with its come-hither motion, rotating beads, and firm yet slightly curved shaft, is excellent. However, the clitoral stimulator is really quite shockingly poor by comparison, which left me feeling “blah” about the whole experience.

If there was a new version of this toy with a more rumbly external motor and a more thoughtfully designed external shaft that wouldn’t slide off my clit every three seconds? I’d be interested.

The Chalovelo Thrum triple stimulation rabbit vibrator retails for $39.90 directly from the manufacturer.

Thanks to Chalovelo for sponsoring this review and sending me the Thrum triple stimulation vibrator to try out. All writing and views are mine.

[Toy Review] Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo

Hot Octopuss made some serious waves with the Pulse, the company’s first product and a precursor to the Pulse Duo, back in 2013. I received the company’s latest product, the new and improved Pulse Duo, and Mr C&K was kind enough to test it out so I could review it.

What is the Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo?

The new and redesigned Pulse Duo is the latest iteration of the Pulse penis vibrator, and this time it’s specifically designed with use by couples in mind. It looks like this:

Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo "guybrator" sex toy

Based on medical technology designed to help people with spinal cord injuries and similar disabilities to ejaculate for the purposes of taking part in IVF, Pulse toys utilise an oscillating mechanism (known as “PulsePlate”™) to stimulate the penis. As a sex toy, their unique selling point is that the user doesn’t need to have an erection in order to use them.

The Pulse Duo is made of body-safe silicone in a blue-grey colour. It is rechargeable via the included magnetic USB cable. It also comes with a battery-operated remote control and a branded drawstring storage bag.

The toy is waterproof, but the remote control is not.

The user inserts their penis between the flexible silicone “wings”. The plate then stimulates them by rapidly oscillating back and forth. Pro tip: experiment with which way around, and how far along your shaft, you position the toy. The Pulse Duo is designed to stimulate the frenulum (the V-shaped spot that connects the foreskin to the head of the penis), but every penis and every person’s preferences are different, so figure out what feels best for you.

The Pulse Duo is also designed to stimulate a person with a vulva. The suggested use is for the penis-owning person to wear the toy with the top side facing up, and for their vulva-owning partner to straddle them with the toy pressing against their vulva, allowing them to feel its vibrations:

Outline drawing of an AFAB person straddling an AMAB person who is wearing the Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo
Image: Hot Octopuss

Though the Hot Octopuss Pulse range was inspired by medical technology for people who can’t get an erection or enjoy penetrative sex, anyone with a penis can enjoy this product.

Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo Review: Pros

One of my favourite things about the Pulse Duo is that it centres a hugely underrated sex act: grinding. Many people with a vulva masturbate by grinding against things. There’s now a booming market for clitoral grinders in numerous different designs. Using the Pulse Duo with a partner offers a new way to enjoy close bodily contact and simultaneous pleasure without the need for penetration.

Unlike many “couples’ toys” I’ve seen, the Pulse Duo does not treat the vulva and clitoris as an afterthought. The design features an arched base, designed to part the vulva and target stimulation to the clit. The rigid surface is amazing for grinding against, providing plenty of pressure, and the toy transmits vibrations well, particularly on the higher settings.

Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo vibrator viewed from the side

Mr C&K reported that the vibrations and oscillations are strong and rumbly. Based on how the exterior of the toy feels, I would agree with that assessment. I’m not sure the vibrations are strong enough to give me an orgasm alone. Coupled with the grinding motion, though, they absolutely could.

The flexible wings mean that the Pulse Duo will fit most penis sizes. Hot Octopuss recommends this toy for anyone with a flaccid penis length of 3.25″ or more, and with a maximum girth of 2.5″. There is no maximum length or minimum girth recommendation.

The Pulse Duo has a four button interface, two on either side of the toy. There are 7 vibration modes to choose from (steady vibration plus 6 patterns) as well as 9 speeds. The controls are intuitive and easy to learn, and I particularly appreciate the dual-directional speed controls. The remote control offers additional flexibility in how you use the toy and has a range of around 3 metres.

Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo close up of remote control

Unlike a stroker, you don’t need to move the Pulse Duo up and down the penis during use. Depending on your penis size and how it fits, some people will be able to use this toy completely hands-free. Others will need to hold it in place. Of course, if you have a partner straddling you to use the toy in “Duo” mode, their weight will help anchor it in place.

Mr C&K didn’t use lube on his first attempt with the Pulse Duo. He said the toy worked fine without it, but that most people would find insertion easier and may find the toy more comfortable with some water-based lube added.

Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo Review: Cons

Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo vibrator viewed from the side

The first notable downside of the Pulse Duo is that it’s annoyingly loud. Oscillating toys are often louder than traditional vibrators, but the Pulse Duo is bordering on distractingly loud.

The battery life is also only around an hour, which isn’t great considering a full charge takes 3 hours.

Finally, and this is an admittedly minor gripe: the plastic battery tab in the remote control would not come out! No matter how hard we pulled it, we could ultimately only remove it by opening up the battery compartment with a tiny screwdriver. Again, minor, but annoying.

Verdict

This is a really well-designed toy and an improvement on the previous iteration in virtually every way. It is an innovative and inclusive product that focuses on pleasure rather than centering penetration. It has a strong motor, good controls, and well-thought-out use cases for both solo and partnered use. Mr C&K and I are both happy to recommend this product.

I’ll leave you with this gem from Mr C&K regarding the Pulse Duo’s aesthetic: “it looks like I have a little helmet on my… helmet.”

The Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo retails for £129/$149 and is available directly from Hot Octopuss and from Shevibe.

Thanks to Hot Octopuss for sending Mr C&K and I the Pulse Duo to review. All views are ours!

[Toy Review] UEROS Nexus Power Sex Machine

What’s that saying? You wait ages to get to review a sex machine and then two come along at once? Something like that, anyway. Following my recent review of VVD’s ride-on sex saddle machine, this week I’m testing out (one of) the other kind(s) of sex machine: the traditional “fucking machine.” Namely, the Nexus Power hands-free sex machine from UEROS.

Ueros Nexus Power official product image
Image: UEROS

What is the UEROS Nexus Power Fucking Machine?

Sex machines, AKA fucking machines, are devices designed to mimic the experience of having penetrative sex with a penis-owning partner (or a partner using a strap-on, I guess!)

The UEROS Nexus Power is a sex machine that you can use either freestanding or handheld. It measures 7.6″x6.2″x2.3″ not including the size of any attachments. The main device comes with two insertable attachments: a dual-motor vibrator and a rotating bead attachment. A remote control and storage case are also provided.

The Nexus Power is rechargeable, giving around 50 minutes runtime from a 90 minute charge. The attachments are waterproof, but the main device is not. Its attachments are made from body-safe silicone. The main body is available in black or silver, and the attachments are black for both models.

The Nexus Power fucking machine comes with a 1-year manufacturer’s warranty.

UEROS Nexus Power Sex Machine Review: What I Liked

Sex machines vary wildly in price, from cheap hand-held versions up to huge structures that cost thousands and take up half your bedroom. The Nexus Power is a relatively affordable fucking machine with a sleek aesthetic that impressed me as soon as I took it out of the box.

UEROS sex machine in pieces

As is traditional, let’s get into this sex machine review by looking at the things I liked about the product!

  • The overall look and feel, from the heavy-duty case to the soft silicone, is high quality.
  • Setting up the UEROS Nexus Power is easy, as is switching between attachments. This video shows you how to set it up in moments.
  • The multi-angle stand allows you to use the Nexus Power in tonnes of different positions and configurations. Since all bodies are different, it also makes it simple to adjust until you find an angle that works best for you. It also means you can use the Nexus Power for anal as well as vaginal play, if that’s your jam. The device’s main body rotates up to 230 degrees, while the stand tilts in a 130 degree range.
  • The powerful suction cup base keeps the machine affixed to a floor or other surface. I’ve never found it to come loose or detach, even on the most intense settings.
UEROS Nexus Power sex machine attachments

  • The two-motor vibrating dildo offers 3 intensity settings and 3 patterns, while the rotating attachment has 2 rotation intensities and 4 patterns. This gives you plenty of options and combinations to play with to find what works for you. You can also simply use the thrusting mechanism without the vibrations or rotation, or vice versa, if you prefer. There are six thrusting modes – 4 speeds and 2 patterns – to choose from, with speeds ranging from 260 to 350 thrusts per minute.
  • The remote control is a nice touch, allowing you to use the sex machine hands-free or give control to a partner.
  • The “preferred mode” function allows you to save your favourite combination of settings, saving you the hassle of adjusting every time you use the machine.
  • The travel lock gives you peace of mind when traveling with your sex machine. (I still wouldn’t attempt to take this through airport security, though…)

By the way: the UEROS Nexus Power’s attachments are condom-compatible and suitable for use with water-based lube.

Nexus Power Sex Machine Review: What I Didn’t Like

UEROS hands free sex machine

The biggest complaint I have about the Nexus Power – and it’s a big one, unfortunately – is that the thrusting mechanism sometimes just kinda cuts out or gets stuck. This seems to particularly happen close to the point of orgasm, so may be because of the vaginal walls tensing around the toy. However, it also happens if you move in the wrong way or the toy encounters any kind of resistance. This is a pretty significant problem and really undermines what was a quality toy until this point.

Even on the lowest speed, 260 thrusts per minute is pretty intense. For many users, including me, that’s more likely to be painful than pleasurable over any length of time. I would have liked to see lower speeds available too. The assumption that what most people with vaginas want is just hard and fast pounding is completely inaccurate. It also bugs me that the most intense thrusting setting is called “orgasm mode.” That’s not what triggers orgasm for literally the overwhelming majority of vulva owners.

UEROS Nexus Power Sex Machine Review: Verdict

I wanted so much to love this one, given its sexy aesthetic, highly adjustable design, and relatively affordable price. However, the problems with the mechanism cutting out or getting stuck make it hard for me to recommend it.

If UEROS ironed out those issues, I’d be shouting about how great this product is. With them, however, it’s more of a miss than a hit for me.

The UEROS Nexus Power fucking machine retails for $289 US from UEROS.

Thanks to UEROS for sending me this hands-free sex machine to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views and writing, as always, are mine.

[Toy Review] VVD Vkini

I’ve written surprisingly little about nipple play over the years, probably because it isn’t something that I’ve ever been super into for its own sake. There are also surprisingly few toys designed for this incredibly common activity. There are nipple clamps and suckers, of course, and it’s entirely possible to use toys such as vibrators or clitoral suction toys on nipples. But otherwise? Not much. So I was very intrigued by VVD‘s “Vkini” vibrating bra.

The nipples are one of the most common erogenous zones for folks of all genders, and many people enjoy having them stimulated in various ways. Some people can even experience “nipplegasm,” or an orgasm induced solely or primarily through nipple stimulation.

What is the VVD Vkini Nipple Stimulator?

In a nutshell, it’s a vibrating bra. (Or bikini top, hence the name.)

VVD Vkini displayed with box and accessories

The Vkini is a bra/bikini top with two spiral-shaped silicone cups and detachable magnetic stimulators that go on the inside and vibrate against the nipples. The two vibrating motors are housed in the heart-shaped silicone pieces that sit over the nipples.

It is rechargeable, with a 2 hour charge giving 1 hour+ of runtime. There is also an app, allowing you to control the Vkini from your phone or hand over control to a partner.

What I Liked About the Vkini Vibrating Bra Nipple Stimulator

I have to give VVD credit where credit is due: this toy is like nothing I’ve ever seen before. I appreciate innovation and I appreciate attention being paid specifically to nipple pleasure. So what else did I like about the Vkini?

VVD Vkini nipple stimulator vibrating bra

  • The wearable design allows for hands-free pleasure, leaving your hands available to do other things. This is great if you want to enjoy nipple stimulation while masturbating, pleasuring your partner, or even to turn yourself on while you do other things.
  • It came packaged in a sturdy box which is ideal for storage. A drawstring storage bag was also included.
  • The heart-shaped heads are pretty cute.
  • The adjustable straps make it suitable for a range of body sizes. The band extends up to a maximum of 43″ in circumference and has some stretch, so could probably be comfortably worn by people with an overall chest size up to around 45″ or slightly higher.
  • The halter-style shoulder strap is also adjustable, suiting a range of sizes and fit preferences.
  • The inclusion of two different pairs of heads allow you to customise the kind of stimulation you want. I found that the little “lips” attachments offer a more pinpoint sensation, while the “flower” attachments give a broader buzz.
VVD vibrating bra nipple stimulator heads

  • The control buttons are situated right in the middle of the cups. For some reason pressing a button on my boobs just really makes me giggle.
  • Speaking of the controls, they’re super simple to learn and the buttons are easy to press.
  • The Vkini’s vibrations are quiet.
  • There’s definitely some kink potential here! Some people find nipple stimulation to be the ultimate tease or can orgasm from it alone, either of which could be applied to various kinds of BDSM or roleplay scenarios.

Anything I Didn’t Like About This Product?

My main criticism of the Vkini is that the vibrations aren’t particularly powerful and do not transmit very well through the silicone and into the detachable nipple stimulators. This means that all I can feel, even with the Vkini turned up to maximum intensity, is a fairly low-level and buzzy vibration.

It’s also worth being aware that the Vkini is (as VVD says on their website) best suited for people with small to medium chests, approximately A-C/D cup sizes. As someone with a G-cup chest, the Vkini was almost laughably too small for me. I can wear it, but it’s not very comfortable and doesn’t really look very good on me in my opinion. The attachments are also better suited to someone with smaller nipples, regardless of overall chest size. They simply won’t fit over larger nipples.

VVD vibrating bra modelled by a slender white person with tattoos. They are wearing black fingerless gloves.

On the VVD website, the Vkini is shown worn by a person in a hot tub. However, it is only IPX6 waterproof, which means it is not safe for submersion in water. This makes no difference to me personally, but it’s something to be aware of if you’re someone who enjoys having sex in the pool/hot tub/bath/other body of water.

Finally, I decided not to use the “metaXsire” app for controlling the Vkini as it’s described as “AI-powered.” I am morally and ethically opposed to AI in all its forms for an array of reasons, from privacy to content theft to its devastating impact on the environment. If you get this product, I urge you to consider using it without the app.

VVD Vkini Nipple Stimulator: Verdict

I think the Vkini is a fine product for its intended audience, and I don’t think I am that intended audience. In a newer iteration of the product, I’d like to see more powerful and less buzzy motors being used. It would also be nice to see a larger version made for those (like me) with bigger chests.

If you enjoy gentle to moderate nipple stimulation and have a small to medium chest, go for it. If you have larger breasts or prefer more intense stimulation, I’d skip this one.

The Vkini retails for $49.99 US. My readers can enter code “kink” for $5 off.

Thanks to VVD for sponsoring this review and sending me the Vkini to try out! All views, as always, are mine. Product images kindly supplied by VVD.

[Toy Review] VVD Rider Desire Sex Saddle

There are certain items I wanted to get my hands on for ages before finally managing to, and receiving them felt like a career milestone of sorts. (Then there are certain toys that I liked the idea of owning, but the reality was really annoying. Looking at you, 42lb sex doll I have absolutely no use for that is still taking up space in my guest room.) One category I’ve been keen to explore for forever? Ride-on toys like the VVD Rider Desire vibrating saddle sex machine we’re looking at today.

A sex saddle is, essentially, a toy that you straddle. Most have a part that goes inside the vagina, and then another part that stimulates the clit. Some come with interchangeable attachments for different riding experiences. The Sybian and Cowgirl are probably the most famous iterations.

VVD recently reached out and offered to sponsor a review of their “Rider Desire” sex saddle. Obviously I immediately said yes. It looks a little something like this:

VVD Rider Desire sex saddle with pink dildo attachment
Image: VVD

VVD Rider Desire Saddle Sex Machine

VVD, or “Viva Desire”, is a women-led brand currently producing a small line of toys aimed at people with vulvas. Currently, the Rider Desire is VVD’s flagship product, along with the “VKini“.

VVD Rider Desire sex saddle box
Image: VVD

The VVD Rider Desire is a vibrating saddle-shaped ride-on sex toy made of a combination of hard plastic and soft silicone.

The Rider Desire comes with three attachments: a simple vibrating dildo, a thrusting attachment, and a tapping attachment. It also has an external part that vibrates and “taps” against the clit. It can also be used without attachments, which I’ll get into in more detail below.

VVD Rider Desire attachments image and sex saddle viewed from above
Image: VVD

Though it comes in a sizeable box, the VVD Rider Desire is actually both smaller and lighter than a lot of other sex saddles on the market. It measures 44cm/17.3″ in total length, 24cm/9.4″ in width, and 20cm/7.8″ in height, and weighs 1.9kg or 4.2lb. Not the smallest or lightest thing ever, but less cumbersome than many comparable products. I recommend keeping the box it came in for easy storage of the saddle and its components.

What I Liked About the VVD Rider Desire Vibrating Saddle Sex Machine

Let’s start by saying that I think this is an excellent product. Genuinely super impressive. So what specifically did I like about it?

  • Everything that touches your body is made of soft and body-safe silicone.
  • I love that it’s cordless! This offers much more flexibility in where and how I use it.
  • I love that the three attachments offer such different experiences and sensations! They’re not just different sized iterations of the same thing. The first is a basic curved vibrating dildo with a rippling texture. One offers a “tapping” sensation against the G-spot, similar to products such as the Lovense Osci. And the third provides a thrusting motion.
  • Even better, you can use this toy without any of the attachments, if you like! I’m generally more of a clitoral stimulation girl than a penetration girl, and I love being able to ride the VVD Sex Saddle and enjoy its amazing external motor (more on that in a minute) without needing to have something inside me unless I want to.
  • Let’s talk about that motor! So many ride-on or dual stimulation toys treat clitoral pleasure as an afterthought, giving us weak and buzzy motors that are more likely to numb me out than get me off. Not so here! The motor is strong and rumbly, and the tapping function is reminiscent of the (utterly excellent) Hot Octopuss Pulse Queen.
  • The attachments affix to the toy using a magnetic mechanism with a cut-out ridge to ensure you’re positioning them correctly. This means they stay in place well and don’t come loose during use.
  • The shape of the VVD Rider Desire vibrating saddle sex machine allows for a gentle rocking motion, which is particularly enjoyable for me as someone who really loves getting off by grinding on things.
  • It comes with a remote control, allowing you to change the settings easily or hand over control to a partner. There’s definitely potential here for teasing and edging games, orgasm control, forced orgasm play, and more if you’re into any of that.
VVD Rider Desire buttons and remote control

  • If you prefer to use the buttons on the toy itself, this is easy. The buttons are intuitively positioned on the front underside of the toy. They are large and easy to press, and the controls are simple and intuitive. There’s a button to turn the saddle on and off, a button to activate the clitoral stimulator, and a button to activate the internal attachments. And yes, you can use both functions separately!
  • There’s a nice “heating” function that warms up the saddle to 42-45°C. Mmm, cosy!
  • It can actually be used hands-free!
  • While I wouldn’t call the VVD Rider Desire a quiet toy, it’s definitely quieter than many other “sex saddle” type products.

Things to Be Aware Of

Perhaps due to its size, the VVD Rider Desire saddle sex machine doesn’t have an amazing battery life. A full charge takes around 3 hours and gives just one and a quarter hours of runtime on average.

If you have pain in your knees or hips, you may find it challenging to use the Rider Desire on the floor. Try supporting your knees with cushions, putting the saddle on the bed or other soft surface instead, or even putting it on a chair and using it in a sitting position rather than a kneeling position. The only right way to do this is the way that’s comfortable for you!

Though the internal attachments are super easy to clean with a sterile wipe or warm water and soap, the external portion is a bit of a pain to clean. There are lots of ridges and the toy is only IPX5 waterproof, meaning it can withstand splashes but should not be submerged. I use a body-safe medical wipe and take extra care to get all the little crevices.

Personally, I wish there were more constant speeds and fewer patterns for the external portion. Does anyone actually like patterns? In my little world of sex geeks, folks seem to pretty much universally hate them.

The weight limit of the VVD Rider Desire vibrating saddle is 150kg or 330lb, so it may not be suitable for those in bigger bodies.

I don’t mind it so much, but my partner and metamour – who also tested the toy – disliked the bright pink colour and suggested it would look more luxurious in a shade like the darker purple of the main box and attachments box.

VVD Rider Desire Saddle Sex Machine: Verdict

Overall, I think it’s fair to say that I was far more impressed by the Rider Desire Sex Saddle than I expected to be. It has actually good motors, great attachments, and a relatively lightweight build as well as good finishing touches like the remote control and intuitive button positioning. The ability to use it without penetration is what really tips it from good to great for me.

In my metamour’s words: 8/10 would ride again!

The VVD Rider Desire Sex Saddle retails for $399 US at full price. My readers can get $20 off with code “coffee.”

Thanks to VVD for sending me this product and sponsoring this honest review. All views and writing are mine. Follow VVD on Instagram as @VVD_co1, on TikTok as @ohyesvvd, and on X as @VVD_official1.