Update: The Blush Novelties Noje Wand was originally sent to me by The Pleasure Garden. This version of the Noje Wand is no longer available, but a purple version with two attachments is still available as the Noje Delite from Sex Toys UK, retailing for £53.06. Otherwise, the product appears to be the same.
What is the Blush Novelties Noje Wand?
The Blush Novelties Noje mini wand vibrator is a teeny-tiny little thing. At just 13cm in length, it fits neatly in my hand. It looks like a miniature version of the classic wand vibrator shape, only with a curved handle. Weighing in at just 67g, the Noje Wand is a great choice if heavier toys are difficult for you.
Can we just take a second to acknowledge how pretty this mint/turquoise green shade is?
The body of the toy is ABS plastic and the head is covered with a body-safe silicone cap. This cap pops off and back on easily, so you can wash or sterilise it easily. The Noje Magic Wand is rechargeable via the included magnetic cable and is fully waterproof.
Power: The Noje Wand Packs a Punch
Don’t let the small size fool you – the Blush Novelties Noje Wand has some serious power behind it.
Blush has a track record of using great motors in its toys, and the Noje Wand is no exception. It has ten settings in total, five constant vibration speeds and five patterns. The lower levels start out with a deep rumble, building up to some impressive power at the higher speeds.
Of course, since this toy is so small, you don’t get the same level of broad all-over stimulation that you’d get with a full-size wand. However, if you’re after something a little more focused and a lot easier to hold, a good mini wand like the Blush Noje is a great choice.
Other Design Features
I’m torn on the flexible neck design of this toy. On the one hand, it’s great because it means you can angle the toy precisely and get it exactly where you want it. The downside, though, is that it makes it difficult to get any significant pressure.
The Noje Magic Wand operates on a one-button interface, with the button located on the base of the toy. It is large and easy to press. You hold the button down to switch the toy on, press it to cycle through the patterns and speeds, and hold it down again to switch the toy off. I do wish it had dual-directional controls, as having to cycle through all the speeds to go back one step is always annoying.
The Noje Wand’s battery life is decent. I got about 90 minutes of use out of a full two-hour charge.
It’s pretty quiet, too. If a full-size wand is too noisy for you, a smaller version like this can be a good compromise between volume and power.
One downside I noticed about the Blush Noje Wand is that it gets warm very quickly in use. The head started getting noticeably hot after about only about ten minutes. It wasn’t hot enough to injure me, and the toy continued functioning just fine, but I do worry about what’s happening to the motor underneath if it heats up that fast.
Noje Wand: Verdict
Some imperfections notwithstanding, the Blush Novelties Noje Wand is a winner overall. It packs a lot of power into a small, fairly quiet, and super-cute package that comes at a reasonable price.
Thank you to The Pleasure Garden for sending me the Noje Magic Wand in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links appear in this post. As always, all opinions and experiences are my own!
Update 2026: a new version of this classic toy for couples, the We-Vibe Chorus Pro, is now out! I have left this We-Vibe Chorus review up because this older version is still available from some retailers.
There are a number of buzzwords and phrases, frequently used to describe sex toys, of which I am highly sceptical. One of these is “for couples”. Another is “hands free”. The We-Vibe Chorus claims to be both of these things. However, my experiences with We-Vibe over the years have been almost universally positive, so with my hopeful-but-ready-to-be-disappointed face firmly in place, I set out to test the new We-Vibe Chorus for you all.
What is the We-Vibe Chorus Vibrator for Couples?
The We-Vibe Chorus is a wearable vibrator with two arms: one that sits inside the vagina, and another that rests against the clitoris. The idea is that it provides extra clitoral stimulation for the wearer during penetrative sex.
Inside you’ll find the toy and remote, a charging cable, and a dock that functions as both travel case and charging station. The Chorus is IPX7 waterproof (i.e. submersible) and USB rechargeable, with a full charge giving around 90 minutes of runtime.
The We-Vibe Chorus is made of soft and squishy matte silicone and comes in three colours. Mine is “Cosmic Pink.” It has a sort of shiny-sparkly effect that’s really pretty.
We-Vibe Chorus Review: What’s New?
The Chorus is the latest iteration of We-Vibe’s signature “wearable” vibrators designed for (primarily cishetero) couples. But how is this one different?
The most obvious upgrade, when we compare the Chorus to the Sync (its most recent predecessor,) is the introduction of the squeeze remote. The tighter you squeeze the remote, the more intense the vibration gets. You can turn squeeze control off with the small button at the top of your remote if you don’t like it.
There’s also new touch-sense tech, which responds to your movements against the sensor and changes the intensity of the vibrations to match depending on which setting you’ve selected. You can turn touch-sense off through the We-Connect app, if you want to. Overall, I found this function’s responsiveness too unpredictable to be pleasurable, and quickly turned it off.
Another significant upgrade to this model is that it is adjustable in two places. Not only can you adjust the distance between the two arms, you can also alter the angle of the internal arm for a more comfortable and stimulating fit. Bodies come in a wide range of shapes and sizes, and one size will never fit all. I find getting poked in the vaginal walls off-putting and the opposite of erotic (weird, I know!) so being able to adjust the Chorus to actually sit comfortably in my body was a game-changer.
Finally, the Chorus is the first We-Vibe product to use a mix of AnkorLink and Bluetooth technology to connect it to the We-Connect app. The difference here was extremely noticeable when I compared the Chorus to earlier We-Vibe products I’ve reviewed. The connection was much more stable and the responses much more consistent.
In conclusion, the Chorus might superficially resemble We-Vibe’s previous offerings, but you get so much more bang for your buck.
In Use for Couples (and Solo Players)
I’ve said before that I find the marketing of “toys for couples” annoying. A toy for a couple is literally anything you use with a partner! Also, that particular phrase generally means “toys you wear during penis-in-vagina intercourse,” which betrays such a narrow understanding of 1) what a couple is and 2) what sex is.
That notwithstanding, the We-Vibe Chorus is a good option if you’re a couple looking for a toy to wear during penetrative sex. The slender and adjustable internal arm makes for a comfortable fit for all different kinds of vulvas and the external arm provides powerful clitoral stimulation (which 70-90% of vulva-owners need to reach orgasm) through a strong and rumbly motor.
It’s not truly hands-free, though, as it does slip around if you’re doing some particularly vigorous thrusting. However I adjusted it, I could not get it to stay firmly in place. Every time I moved more than a little, it would shift and move away from my clit. I ended up using one hand to hold it in place and the other hand to operate the remote.
Worth noting: the lovely Phallophile Reviews suggests that wearing tight knickers (such as Spanx) helps the We-Vibe Chorus stay in place if you want a truly hands-free experience. So that’s something to try!
Do You Need to Use the App to Enjoy this Toy?
Not really!
I tested the app to write this We-Vibe Chorus review but I haven’t used it since (and I have absolutely used the toy since.)
The We-Vibe app is a nice extra, and adds some bonus options such as handing over control to a partner from anywhere in the world, creating your own vibration patterns, and video calling or text chatting. However, you don’t need it and the remote control is more than adequate for controlling the toy if using an app doesn’t sound fun or sexy to you.
We-Vibe Chorus Review: Verdict
Overall, I’m seriously impressed with the Chorus! Despite the hands-free issues, it has a great motor and comes with numerous additional features.
I received these products in fairly quick succession, so I decided I’d do something a bit different and try a compareview (that’s a comparison/review) of the Hot Octopuss DiGiT finger vibe and AMO bullet. And, because I enjoy a bit of friendly competition, I’m going to award a point in each section of the review and finish by telling you which one I recommend more.
Hot Octopuss Digit & Amo
Hot Octopuss burst onto the sex toy scene in 2013 with the Pulse III, a toy for penis-owners that utilises PulsePlate, a patented technology based on medical science. Read more here, it’s genuinely fascinating. Since then, the company has branched out, with various products for both penises and vulvas. The latest two offerings are DiGiT and AMO.
DigitAMO
The Hot Octopuss Digit is a finger vibrator with two plastic loops at the base. You pop two fingers through these loops and the shaft rests against the length of one finger, essentially becoming an extension of your hand while you play.
The Hot Octopuss AMO is a more traditional bullet vibe, with a shaft that widens at the top. One side has a gentle curve and the other has a pinpoint tip for more targeted stimulation.
Stats, Size, and Other Important Things
The Hot Octopuss Digit and AMO are both USB rechargeable, giving around 40 minutes of running time on a full charge. I would prefer both toys to have a longer battery life. It can take me 20-30 minutes or longer to reach orgasm, which functionally means having to charge the toy before every use.
Both toys are USB rechargeable and waterproof.
Size-wise, there’s not much in it either. The Digit is slightly heavier (58g to the AMO’s 43g) while the AMO is a little longer (9.5cm vs DiGiT’s 8.7cm.)
The main shaft of both toys is made of black silicone. The bases (and, in the case of the Digit, the finger loops) are plastic. These toys are designed to be used externally. You could insert them into your vagina if you wished, but they are not anal-safe, particularly the AMO.
Thus far, it’s a draw.
Is the Hot Octopuss Digit or AMO More Innovative?
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with taking a tried-and-true formula and doing it well. Bullet vibrators are a staple for a reason, and almost every toy company I can think of has one in its product line. AMO does, however, have an edge over the standard bullet design in that the unique shape adds something extra. We’ll touch on this more a little later.
The Hot Octopuss Digit, though, is a little more innovative. While wear-it-on-your-finger vibrators do, of course, exist elsewhere, all the ones I’ve ever tried have either been made of unsafe materials, had such weak vibrations that my fingers could do a better job by themselves, or both. The two-loops design is also something I haven’t seen before and makes the toy more comfortable to wear.
The Digit wins the innovation round!
Aesthetics
Hot Octopuss toys have a distinct style to them, and these two are no exception. The Digit’s base and finger loops are a kind of brown-bronze colour with a gold band separating the base from the shaft. The Hot Octopuss name is stamped into the silicone on the side of the toy and the crown logo is embossed on one of the finger loops. After just a couple of uses, though, this logo started to rub off.
AMO’s plastic base is a dark red at the bottom which fades to black where it blends with the main body at the join. The company name is embossed on the side of the base. Both toys have the Hot Octopuss crown logo stamped on the bottom of their base.
Aesthetics-wise, AMO wins for me. They’re both perfectly attractive toys but the red and black is such a stylish and sexy combo.
Settings and Controls
On both the Hot Octopuss Digit and AMO, there’s a single on/off/change setting button on one side of the shaft and up/down speed buttons on the other side.
The button placement is kinda awkward on the Digit. Because it was attached to the fingers of my dominant hand, I could only change the settings by either curling my thumb under at a really unnatural angle or bringing my other hand into play.
Full disclosure here, though: I’m left-handed. I also tried the toy on my right hand and this does, indeed, make the button placement feel somewhat more intuitive as the up/down buttons are perfectly placed to press them with your thumb. It still loses points, though, for being significantly less accessible and user-friendly to lefties like myself.
The button placement is much less of an issue on the AMO simply because of the way you use it. When I used it with my left hand, the speed buttons were well placed to easily push with my index finger.
The Digit has five speeds and five patterns, while the AMO has six speeds and five patterns
AMO takes the point for user-friendliness and for that one additional speed.
Hot Octopuss Digit vs. AMO: Which is More Powerful?
They’re identical. Hot Octopuss appears to have used the exact same type of motor in both of these toys.
In terms of power, I’d describe these toys as middling. The vibrations are pretty rumbly and have some power behind them, but they’re not blow-your-socks-off strong. They’re not powerful enough to get me off in five minutes, but they’re not “vainly smooshing it against my clitoris and hoping I feel SOMETHING” either.
It’s a draw on this one.
User Experience
I enjoyed using both of these toys. However, I don’t see myself reaching for the Digit for solo play very often in the future. It’s more likely a toy I’d use for hand sex with a partner. AMO, though, might just earn a place in my regular rotation.
The reason for this difference, given the identical motors, lies in the products’ shapes. The Digit’s smooth surface felt perfectly enjoyable, but the AMO’s pinpoint tip really blew me away. It’s the ideal shape and angle for targeting the perfect spot on my clit.
No contest in this one: AMO wins hands-down.
Price
The Hot Octopuss Digit retails for £59.95 and the AMO retails for £49.95.
The price difference here makes this an easy one – AMO takes another point.
Verdict: Which One Should I Get?
Both of these products are quality toys with decent motors. However, the AMO is the overall winner from my perspective.
Thanks to Hot Octopuss for sending me these products to review. All views are, as ever, completely my own. Affiliate links appear in this post. Product photos by Hot Octopuss.
I, along with many other sex bloggers, recently received a package of seven sex toys from Satisfyer which included the Yummy Sunshine vibrator, This brand, known primarily for suction-based toys, is now making vibrators too. I gave most of them away to friends, but decided to keep and try out this one: the Yummy Sunshine.
Unfortunately, I have to acknowledge that many of the new Satisfyer products are pretty blatant rip-offs of Fun Factory designs, right down to the loop handles. This happens a lot in the sex toy industry (and Satisfyer is plenty guilty of it, having started life riding on the suction toy coat-tails of Womanizer,) but that doesn’t make it acceptable. So I’m immediately predisposed to dislike this toy from that perspective.
Satisfyer Yummy Sunshine: Details
The Satisfyer Yummy Sunshine is made of bright yellow silicone with a plastic handle. Sex toys aimed at people with vulvas tend to come in a small range of colours, with pink, purple, and red reigning. There’s nothing wrong with any of these shades, of course, but it’s nice to see something a little different. One of the reasons I gravitated to the Yummy Sunshine was simply that I’ve rarely seen a yellow sex toy.
The Yummy Sunshine is an internal vibrator measuring 8.75″ in total length, 6″ in insertable length, and 1.5″ in diameter at the widest point. Given the size, it’s pretty lightweight. It has a lightly ribbed shaft and a gentle curve.
This toy is USB rechargeable via a magnetic charging pin. It’s also waterproof.
In Use
The Satisfyer Yummy Sunshine has 6 speeds, 6 patterns, and a straightforward three-button interface. Though the buttons are well-placed and easy to press, the lower button is the “up” setting and the upper button is the “down” setting for some reason, which is completely counter-intuitive. When it comes to holding this toy, I like the loop handle but someone with larger hands might find it more difficult to use as the loop is pretty small.
In use, my overwhelming impression of this toy was “blah.” It’s fine but I’d be unlikely to reach for it by preference.
The vibrations are mediocre, neither rumbly nor powerful enough to be impressive. I can orgasm with the Yummy Sunshine if I set my mind to it, but it’s one of those toys where the orgasm almost feels like more trouble than it was worth.
I will say that I like this toy’s shape and texture. The curve is just right for targeted G-spot stimulation. The soft silicone has a nice flexibility that allows for comfortable positioning. I also like using the ridges and ripples along the shaft externally on my vulva and clit.
Satisfyer Yummy Sunshine: Verdict
I didn’t hate this toy so much I wanted to throw it across the room, but I was left with the overwhelming impression of something that’s just barely okay. It gets the job done, just about, but there’s nothing great or special about it. Again, it’s also a blatantly stolen design and nowhere near as good as the Fun Factory products it mimics. Overall, you can do better for your money.
You can purchase the Yummy Sunshine for $49.99 from SheVibe or £63 from Sex Toys UK.
Thanks to Satisfyer for sending me a shipment of toys including the Yummy Sunshine for review. All view are my own. Pics are by me. Affiliate links are used within this post.
Update 30/10/23: the original Womanizer Duo dual stimulator is no longer available as it has been replaced with the Womanizer Duo 2. All links in this Womanizer Duo review now point to the new edition. However, be aware there may be variations between this version and the newer iteration.
I am very, very picky when it comes to dual stimulation toys (that is, toys that stimulate the clitoris and vagina at the same time—rabbit vibes are the most classic example.) Most of them simply don’t work very well for me. Would the Womanizer Duo, an unusual dual stimulation toy featuring a clitoral suction stimulator, break that pattern?
Womanizer Duo Review: Details
Womanizer is a high-end sex toy brand with high-end prices to match. The absolute cheapest model, the Womanizer Starlet, will set you back £69.99 at full price. This model, Womanizer’s most expensive yet at the time of writing, retails for £171/$224.
The Womanizer Duo’s basic design is similar to that of a rabbit vibrator. It has an insertable shaft and a clitoral stimulator. However, instead of the traditional vibratinbg “ears,” the smaller arm sports one of Womanizer’s patented Pleasure Air clitoral simulators.
Image: Womanizer
At 9″ in total length, this is a pretty hefty toy. However, the insertable length is a more manageable 5″ and the widest part of the insertable shaft is 1.4″ in diameter. The Womanizer Duo is waterproof and USB rechargeable, with a battery life of around 2 hours 2 hour charge. Its body is made of silicone and it is available in an array of colours including black, burgundy, and blue.
As well as the toy, charging cable, and instruction booklet, in the box you’ll also a satin storage bag and two removable silicone heads for the clitoral stimulator in different sizes. These are great if you want to share your toy with a partner safely.
Just like I commented in my Womanizer Premium review, the Womanizer Duo packaging reminds me of the kind of packaging that would hold high-end perfume or make-up. It’s stylishly designed and beautifully presented. However, it’s also a bonkers amount of single-use plastic, which I don’t love.
Womanizer Duo In Use: Controls and Features
Image: Womanizer
The Womanizer Duo has six buttons in total. One turns the toy on and off, another changes the vibration pattern, and the remaining two pairs control the speed of the internal and external stimulators respectively.
The controls take a little getting used to because there are six separate buttons and a lot going on. However, the buttons are easy to press and intuitively placed, and I appreciate having dual directional controls. I feel like I complain about single-directional controls in every other review, so this is a point in the Womanizer Duo’s favour.
I do not like internal vibrations. I find them uncomfortable and occasionally even painful. When I use dual-stim toys at all, I prefer those that have a thrusting mechanism or a “come hither” motion. So it’s a huge deal to me that I can control the Womanizer Duo’s internal vibrator and clitoral stimulator completely independently. This means I can insert the internal arm and enjoy its pressure while the clitoral stimulator works its magic, without having to deal with unwanted vibrations.
The Womanizer Duo has 12 levels of intensity for each arm. The internal vibrator also offers 10 different patterns. This means that hundreds of different combinations are possible and you can tailor your experience to exactly what you want.
Like the Womanizer Premium, the Womanizer Duo boasts the extremely useful “Smart Silence” feature. When Smart Silence is enabled, the toy’s motors will only activate when it close contact with a body. This is a great feature for those who need a more discreet toy. It’s also useful if you’re travelling with your toy.
Womanizer Duo Review: Overall Experience
It took a bit of experimentation to get it to work for me. It’s large and bulky, and it can be awkward to hold. The controls are a little complex, as I mentioned above. However, once I got comfortable and found the combination of settings that worked for me, I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to reach orgasm with this toy.
To be entirely honest, if I hadn’t committed to writing this review, the Womanizer Duo isn’t a toy I’d likely reach for. Overall, I found the orgasm I got from this toy more trouble than it was worth. It took about five times as long as using my favourite bullet or wand (or, frankly, my hand.) I had to keep adjusting it, and holding the toy in place was cumbersome and annoying. It’s also quite difficult to keep a solid seal with the clitoral stimulator, and impossible to do any kind of thrusting without completely losing clitoral contact.
The clitoral stimulator is the usual high-quality, smooth suction Womanizer fans have come to expect. The G-spot stimulator, though, will likely disappoint those who enjoy internal vibrations as they are weak and buzzy.
I think it says a lot that I tossed the Womanizer Duo in a box after I finished testing it and making notes for this review, and I haven’t reached for it again. It’s unlikely that I will.
Pro tip: as well as using plenty of lube on the internal arm, dab a bit on the nozzle of the clitoral stimulator. This helps the toy to form a better seal against your body.
Verdict
The Womanizer Duo is wildly expensive and kind of a pain in the ass to use. It’s an interesting idea, and the combination of internal stimulation and clitoral suction definitely has promise, but the execution is frustrating.
I definitely wouldn’t suggest the Womanizer Duo as either a first dual stimulation toy or a first suction toy. Make sure you actually like these types of toys before you splash out nearly £200. The Womanizer Starlet is a more affordable introduction to suction toys, and a good rabbit vibrator will allow you to find out if dual stim toys are your jam.
Q: what’s unique about Rocks Off? A: it’s the only sex toy company whose toys I have seen on the shelves of my local Sainsburys. Rocks Off has consistently offered solid basic toys at affordable prices, and I just received the new Chaiamo bullet vibrator to try out.
Rocks Off Chaiamo: Details
The Chaiamo is a straight vibrator with a gently tapered tip. It measures 6″ in length, with 5″ of insertable length and a diameter of 1.25″ across the centre of the shaft. The button is located on the base of the toy.
The Chaiamo is waterproof and USB rechargeable, with an battery life of around 3 hours for a 3 hour charge. It has made of silicone, with a plastic base. I received the black version, but the Chaiamo is also available in burgundy.
Chaiamo Review: In Use
If I could describe the Rocks Off Chaiamo in one sentence it would be “simple yet effective.”
Shape-wise, it offers excellent versatility. Use the edge for broader stimulation, or the tapered tip if you’re looking for something more focused (though not truly pinpoint.)
It’s also suitable for internal use, if that’s your jam. I hate internal vibrations and I prefer my insertable toys to have a curve, so the Rocks Off Chaiamo isn’t a good choice for internal use for me. However, fellow sex blogger Isabelle Lauren describes her experience very positively in her review. This toy does not have a flared base so is not safe for anal use.
The Chaiamo’s body is rigid, making it ideal for me as someone who likes to press toys firmly into my vulva. Its straight shaft is smooth and untextured.
I was also pleasantly surprised by the Chaiamo’s motor. It is not only pretty powerful, but also far more rumbly than most toys I’ve tried at this price point. It’s also fairly quiet, if that’s important to you.
The Rocks Off Chaiamo’s one button interface is simple to use and the button is easy to press. However, scrolling through all 10 settings—3 constant speeds and 10 patterns—if you want to go back one step is always super annoying.
Rocks Off Chaiamo: Verdict
I’m so impressed with this toy considering how cheap it is!
If you’re looking for a versatile and well-designed basic vibrator with a good motor at an affordable price, the Chaiamo is that toy.
Update 23/04/25: the Satisfyer Multifun appears, mercifully for genitals everywhere, to no longer be available. I normally remove content about defunct and obsolete products, but this Satisfyer Multifun review is staying because I think it’s worth showing you all what truly terrible sex toy design looks like.
It’s here, folks. The winner of the not-so-coveted title of “the worst designed sex toy I have ever had the misfortune of putting anywhere near my genitals.”
I hate being snarky about toys. I really do. I always try to find something positive to say. But in this case, I just… I can’t.
Satisfyer Multifun Review: Basic Details
First impression: what is this even for?
Satisfyer is known for its suction-based toys such as the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation and Satisfyer Pro Penguin, many of which have been good-to-excellent. That’s why I was a little surprised that this offering is such an absolute, irredeemable mess.
The Satisfyer Multifun is a U-shaped toy with two prongs that come almost together at the top. There are two very slight variations between the Multifun 1 and 2: the Multifun 1 is blue and the Multifun 2 is pink, and the ends of the prongs curve in very slightly different ways on each. Again, the difference is tiny. Calling them two different products is, at best, a stretch.
The Multifun contains three motors, one in each of the prongs (which are operated together with a single button) and one in the base (operated separately with a second button). The toy is about 5 inches long in total, 3.5″ being the prongs and 1.5″ the base.
This toy is waterproof and USB rechargeable.
Safe Isn’t Enough
When I ranted to Mr C&K about how terrible the Satisfyer Multifun is, he pointed out that it’s at least a slight improvement on many terrible sex toys in that it is body-safe. And yes, it is. The entire body of the toy is made of silicone, which is the gold standard for body-safe sex toy materials.
But, as I explained to him, at this point I don’t see “body safe” as enough. I see it as a bare fucking minimum. At this point in my career, “this toy is body safe” is up there with “this food didn’t give me food poisoning.” It’s not a glowing recommendation, it’s a basic expectation.
So yes. This toy is body-safe. Can I say anything else positive about it? I’m honestly really struggling.
Satisfyer Multifun Review: Multi-NoFunWhatsoever
On the back of the Multifun box, Satisfyer has helpfully (and I use the word “helpfully” in the loosest possible sense) included diagrams of different ways to use this toy on both a vulva and a penis. Being the dutiful and diligent toy testers that we are, we tried all of them (except the “hang it off your balls” one, because even Mr C&K’s tolerance for doing weird shit to his genitals for the benefit of my readers has its limits.)
All 12 of Satisfyer’s suggestions were… equally terrible? Similarly nonsensical?
Pinching it around my clit was mildly painful for the two seconds it stayed on, and then merely annoying as it kept slipping off. Trying to stick it inside me made absolutely no sense whatsoever as it’s entirely the wrong shape to do anything but poke me annoyingly in the vaginal walls. Trying to get it to hang off my nipple like a nipple clamp was merely hilarious (and, needless to say, a complete failure).
Hanging it around Mr C&K’s penis in various configurations produced no greater reaction than “well… that’s kind of in the way.”
Even using it as a straightforward clitoral vibrator didn’t work, because the vibrations were so weak and buzzy that I literally Did Not Feel A Fucking Thing.
Texting a fellow sex blogger friend about this (mis)adventure, I described the Multifun’s vibrations as “akin to a bee buzzing away on my clit. Not even a hive of bees. Just one.”
A Non-Exhaustive List of Other Things I Hate About This Toy
The sound. Good God, the sound. This thing doesn’t just buzz, it whines.
The buttons. They’re small, fiddly, and hard to press.
The ridiculously gendered marketing. The Satisfyer Multifun proudly proclaims to be “for men, women and couples” (ah yes, the three genders?) There are so many better ways to market that your product is suitable for different types of bodies. The diagrams of possible ways to use it with different genital configurations is more than enough (or would be, if any of them made an iota of sense.) And literally anything can be a toy for couples if you use it with a partner. As if this wasn’t bad enough, it comes in exactly two colours: baby blue (Multifun 1) and pastel pink (Multifun 2.) You know, conveniently colour-coded in case you don’t know which one is for you.
Satisfyer Multifun Review: Not Satisfying, Zero Fun, Thanks I Hate It
I hate this toy. I hate it with a burning passion that surprises me. I have never hated a sex toy this much. No, not even the stupid vibrating jelly cockrings like the ones you get out of pub toilet vending machines (is that still a thing or am I showing my age there?) At least we knew those were going to be terrible, and at least they didn’t have a nearly $50 price tag).
I implore you, do not buy this toy. Your genitals deserve better. For powerful clitoral stimulation, get the We-Vibe Tango X. For a decent vibrating cock ring, get the Hot Octopuss Atom. For a great toy to wear during penetrative sex, get the We-Vibe Sync or Chorus. And for your nipples, even a fucking vibrating bra is a better pick than this nonsense.
Satisfyer: what the fuck is this? Please do better. And for the love of God, please test your products on actual human genitals before you mass produce them.
Thank you to Satisfyer for sending me this product to review. Affiliate links appear within this post.
One of the requests I receive most often is for remote control panty vibe toys, or vibrators that you wear inside your knickers. I can understand the appeal of them in theory. The idea of something stimulating you as you go about your day is alluring to a lot of people. The problem is that most of these so-called “vibrating knickers” suck. Would Lovehoney’s Desire Remote Control Panty Vibe be the toy to change all that?
Lovehoney Desire Panty Vibe
This vibrating knickers set, part of the Lovehoney Desirerange, consists of three components: the vibrator itself, the remote control, and the knickers to use it with. All of this is presented in a zip-up pouch. The vibrator measures 4″ long. It is saddle-shaped and made of smooth, rigid silicone. There’s a single control button on the top and a nub on the underside which (supposedly) rests against the clitoris when worn.
Image: Lovehoney
The main toy is rechargeable, but the remote control requires a single CR2032 battery (included). The panty vibe is waterproof and submersible, but the remote is only splashproof.
Image: Lovehoney
The included knickers tie up at the sides, making them adjustable to fit various sizes. I wear a UK size 16 and they fitted me with plenty of room left over, though they may not be suitable for larger bodies. Annoyingly, there are no measurements or sizing information on the product page. The panties are made of soft black lace, though I don’t love that they’re polyester-based. They have a little pouch in the gusset where you slip the panty vibe to keep it in place.
Desire Panty Vibe Review: In Use
The Desire Knicker Vibrator has 12 speeds and 8 patterns to choose from. At the higher end, the vibrations have a decent amount of power, though they’re not as rumbly as I would like.
The best thing about the Desire Panty Vibe’s design, by far, is its shape. It sits comfortably flush with the curve of the vulva, and the bump on the end is ideal for brushing against the clit and providing some gentle friction. The pouch in the knickers means that the toy stays in place fairly well, though once you start moving around it’s hard to maintain constant clitoral contact. Think “tease” rather than “orgasm” with this one.
Image: Lovehoney
There’s a one-button interface on the toy itself, which allows you to cycle through the various pattern settings. However, you cannot turn the power level up or down on the toy itself. The remote, however, allows you to select both a pattern and a speed. The remote control range on this toy is about 8 metres, assuming a clear line of sight.
I don’t really agree with the description of the Desire Panty Vibe as “whisper-quiet” (do I ever?) It has a pretty distinct buzz. It’s not loud enough to be bad, but it’s also not quiet enough to be a selling point.
Lovehoney Desire Vibrating Knickers: Verdict
My overall verdict on this toy depends on what you’re looking for.
If you’re after a vibe to simply masturbate with to get off, this is probably not your best choice. I’d recommend going for the bullet or for the pebble clitoral vibe instead. However, if you’re after a panty vibe or “vibrating knickers” style experience, or a way to hand over control to someone else while keeping your hands free, this one could be a good choice.
The Desire Knicker Vibrator retails at £69.99 from Lovehoney UK or $99.99 from Lovehoney US.
Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review. Affiliate links appear in this post.
Sex toy kits are a fantastic idea in theory, but usually significantly less amazing in practice. Too often, they’re little more than a collection of cheap and poor-quality products shoved together in a pretty box and sold for a premium price. I’ll nearly always tell my readers to forego a kit and spend a bit more on just one or two quality items. However, I try to keep an open mind, which is why I agreed to review the Take Control Bondage Kit for beginners from Lovehoney.
Take Control: A Beginners’ Bondage Kit by Lovehoney
It’s been a very long time since I was new to BDSM. I’ve been doing kinky shit for well over a decade and have accrued a sizeable collection of toys, from basic staples to custom collars, premium impact toys, and more. So a beginner kit is not something I would ever buy for myself.
Therefore, I am trying to step back in time ten years or so in my mind, and view this BDSM starter kit through the eyes of someone who is just starting out, collecting their first beginner BDSM toys, or maybe wondering if they’re even kinky.
Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit: First Impressions
The Take Control Bondage Kit comes in one simple box, with all the products clearly displayed on the front so you know exactly what to expect. The packaging is brightly coloured and fun, reducing the intimidation factor for nervous new kinksters.
There’s a LOT of information on the box, too. I appreciate that Lovehoney has provided a brief description on how to use each item as well as some basic information on safety and consent. The box reminds players to use safewords, never leave a bound person alone, and have a non-verbal safe signal if someone is gagged. It’s pretty 101-level stuff, but that’s also what a complete newcomer to kink is likely to need. Top marks for that.
I wasn’t delighted with the way the box was packed. Everything was just sort of piled in, each item wrapped in a cellophane wrapper. It’s a lot of unnecessary single-use plastic.
There is no real leather in this kit, making it vegan-friendly.
What’s in the Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit?
With that said, I think this is overall a decent beginners’ bondage kit. Many BDSM starter kits and sex toy kits generally are filled with things that aren’t even safe, let alone of good quality.
Let’s take a look at what’s inside, shall we? Just for fun, I’ve included a fun tip or an idea to try with each item in the Take Control kit. As always, pick the ones that resonate for you, leave the rest, and add your own ideas as you explore.
1: Blindfold
This blindfold is super comfy. It’s also thick and padded, meaning I couldn’t see a thing when it was on. The band is stretchy, too, so it should fit most people comfortably.
Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Blindfold your partner and stroke different items across their body – a silk scarf, a piece of velvet, the tails of your flogger – and have them guess what each item is.
2. Nipple suckers
I really liked these little suckers! They’re a great gentle introduction to nipple play, and perfect if you want some sensation but without the pain of nipple clamps or clothes pegs. They work for all chest sizes, from flat chests to large breasts, and most nipple sizes. If you flick or hit them too hard, they will fly off, but they can withstand some gentle manipulation.
Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Tell your partner to fetch you something from another room with these on. They’ll have to move carefully, though – they’ll be spanked if one falls off!
3. Ball gag
Full disclosure: I hate ball gags. I fucking hate them. They make my jaw hurt, they make me drool, and I can’t kiss my partner when I’m wearing one. They’re basically a soft limit at this point. With that said, this is a fine ball-gag if you do like them. The holes make it breathable, and silicone is a non-porous and hygienic material. I also like how adjustable this gag is. With 9 buckle holes, it will fit most people comfortably.
Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Make your submissive try to repeat words back to you while gagged.
4. Flogger
This is a stingy little fucker! Don’t let the small size fool you, this flogger can pack a wallop. The falls are made of thin rubber, which delivers a vicious sting when you put some force behind it. If pain isn’t your thing, you can drag it sensually across the skin for a gentle tickle. I would have liked the handle to have a bit more width and weight to it.
Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Try gently flogging the vulva or penis if your partner is up for it. Remember to clean your flogger thoroughly afterwards to remove any bodily fluids.
5. Wrist and ankle cuffs
These were the weakest part of the Take Control kit by far, for me. They’re quite thin and made of nylon, with no padding, which means they chafe if you put any pressure on them. They’re fine for exploring the feeling of being restrained, but if you want to pull against them at all I recommend getting some quality BDSM cuffs.
Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Restrain your partner then make them watch you masturbate in front of them.
6. Under-bed restraints
These are great, except for the tiny detail that they don’t fit my bed! We have a Super King bed and these restraints fit up to King Size. So they’ll be fine for the vast majority of people, but if you have a ridiculously giant bed like us, they may not fit.
These restraints are strong, durable, and easy to both set up and tuck out of sight when you’re done, if you want to. The little clips mean you can easily add any set of cuffs to them.
Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: when your partner is restrained, run a cube of ice along their body or drip low-temperature candle wax onto their skin.
7. Silicone suction cup dildo
Wow, a body-safe dildo in a BDSM kit! This shouldn’t be a pleasant surprise, and yet it is. This dildo measures 6″ in length and has a diameter of 1.5″. The slight curve is ideal for targeting the G-spot or prostate, and the silicone is super soft and silky. The suction cup and hollow space for a bullet vibrator are great additions.
Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Tease your lover’s entrance with the dildo until they beg to have it inside them.
8. Strap-on harness
This is the same harness that Lovehoney sells as part of their basic strap-on sex/pegging kit a few years ago. It’s comfortable and the rings are interchangeable so you can use it with any dildo with a flared base. However, it’s a pretty basic harness and you’ll want to upgrade to a higher-quality harness if you find you enjoy strap-on play.
Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: If you have a vulva, insert a wearable vibrator before you put on your harness. This will stimulate you while you penetrate your partner.
9. Wired bullet vibrator
I was fully expecting this bullet vibrator to be awful. While it’s far from the strongest bullet vibrator in the world and it is a little buzzy, it’s not a bad basic bullet for the size and price. It has several patterns as well as steady vibration speeds.
I don’t love that it’s wired rather than cordless, but the wire is long enough for one partner to control the remote while the other holds the vibrator against their genitals. The bullet takes 2x AAA batteries, which are not included.
Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Switch it off just when your lover is on the edge of orgasm and make them beg for release.
Lovehoney Take Control Beginners’ Bondage Kit: Verdict
On the whole, the Take Control Bondage Kit is a very solid basic beginners’ set for the price. If you’re brand new to exploring your kinks, you get a lot of bang for your buck here.
Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this kit in exchange for an honest review. If you choose to purchase this or anything else from Lovehoney, please buy through my affiliate links – it supports the blog at no extra cost to you!
I approached this Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting review with some trepidation. I haven’t had the best relationship with rabbit vibrators up until now. For every one I love there are ten I hate and several I feel indifferent towards. There are three main reasons for this:
First, I don’t like internal vibrations. I find them uncomfortable or even painful, rarely pleasurable.
Second, most rabbit vibrators treat the clit as an afterthought, putting the weakest and buzziest vibrations in the rabbit “ears.”
Finally, the design of rabbit vibrators means that most of them will only work for a small number of bodies. Unless you have exactly the vagina-to-clit distance the designer envisioned, the toy probably won’t work as intended for you.
With that said, let’s look at the Thrusting Rabbit from the Lovehoney Happy Rabbit range.
Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting
The Thrusting Happy Rabbit is a hot pink rabbit-style vibrator with a thrusting shaft and two vibrating ears. It measures 9″ in total length and 5″ in insertable length. Its shaft has a diameter of 1.5″. It is fully waterproof and submersible, and USB rechargeable with a 150-minute charge giving 120 minutes of runtime.
Every toy in the Happy Rabbit range is made from body-safe silicone. A far cry from the horrible jelly things that everyone went mad for after that episode of Sex & the City aired 20 years ago.
Happy Rabbit Thrusting Vibrator: What I Liked
Let’s not bury the lede here: this toy gave me an orgasm, and it did so in under five minutes. Not an insignificant feat for any toy, and for a rabbit vibrator it’s downright impressive.
Image: Lovehoney
The Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting’s main selling point is, obviously, the thrusting mechanism. And, I have to say, it is excellent. There are three thrusting speeds to choose from, and personally I preferred the slowest. I found the higher speeds a little too intense to be pleasurable, but “hard pounding” has never really been my thing. Your mileage may vary.
The rabbit ears are thick and firm, and have a massive fifteen different vibration settings to choose from. I like that the clitoral arm has some flexibility, so you can maneuver it to fit with your body, but isn’t so flexible that getting any kind of pressure is impossible. The vibrations themselves are moderately powerful, if not exactly “blow your socks off.” I also love that the shaft doesn’t vibrate, just the ears.
What I Didn’t Like
The main downside of the Lovehoney Happy Rabbit is the sound. While I wouldn’t exactly describe it as “loud” in the true sense, the thrusting mechanism makes a noise I can best describe as “squeaking.” I could just about tune it out long enough to get off, but it’s a significant distraction and not a pleasant sensory experience.
Image: Lovehoney
The buttons are also pretty annoying. There are two buttons: one for the thrusting motion and one for the vibrating ears. Having to scroll all the way through fifteen settings to go back a step is frustrating. It breaks my flow in use and is not something I’d expect from a toy at this kind of price-point.
Finally, cleaning the Happy Rabbit Thrusting is a pain. Those little creases around the thrusting mechanism are traps for bodily fluids and bacteria.
Verdict: Did the Thrusting Rabbit Make Me Happy?
Overall, I was surprised by how much I liked the Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting. Despite my complaints about the noise, buttons, and germ-trap silicone creases, please don’t forget that this toy got me off in under five minutes. Its design is good, the thrusting motion is excellent, and the vibrating ears don’t appear to be an afterthought.
If you enjoy dual stimulation but prefer thrusting to internal vibrations, this could be a good option for you.
